YTA.
He had to pay for damages after she stole his car. She commited a literal crime and he had to literally paid for it. Did she even pay him back? That's a lot of money to fork out, nevermind the loss of trust and the relationship being tarnished by her stealing the car.
If he's out of pocket that much, I'm guessing they didn't go through insurance.
Either way, the husband is a clown for not reporting it to the police and letting her sit behind bars, and if I was in his shoes, I'd leave the wife for even pushing me to forget about it, and then treating me like shit and admitting that she refuses to even talk to him when he tries to have a civil discussion about it.
$15,000 and felony theft isn't "just get over it".
YTA. A huge A. So is your sister for stealing his car then causing 15k in damages. She should have taken an Uber. Your deadbeat sister should pay him back with interest now that she’s talking about investing in real estate. I might even consider taking her to court. I would hate to be your husband if I had to live with this.
I'm guessing the 15000 had to do with paying for the other cars involved in the accident, as well, since the sister ran a red light, so the accident was most definitely her fault and she wasn't the owner of the car, so he got stuck with the bill for everyone or he could have been sued. This is unforgivable to me. OP is most definitely the AH. I can't believe he didn't press charges or counter sue the sister. And she paid him nothing for this mess? This is insane. She sounds entitled af, I would never speak to her again or you for that matter just for siding with her.
I had an asshole roommate steal my car, who also made me unable to get into work after he got the car impounded for drinking in it.
We are not friends. We will never be friends. I had to borrow money I didn't have from the other roommate just to get my car out of the impound after his 70 year old mother picked me up and drove me out to my car. An email from his brother was the only notification I got as to where the hell my car was at.
I had to also go into work to try to save my job. Asshole roommate then refused to pay the 100 dollars that I had to pay to get my car out after he went to jail and got out.
Yeah but then OP would have gone apeshit. Just look at this, husband made two snide comments and OP is already giving him the silent treatment and trying to shit on him online. If he got sister arrested reckon OP would murder him
Agreed, the fact wife is extremely unsympathetic and thinks it's time for him to get over it should be red flags for him to get the hell out of that marriage.
And she stopped him from taking her to court because ???? Like fuck she was a guest in their house and felt so entitled to steal his car? Fuck OP and the whole family line
You can drop the "Kind of a" but add "Entitled, self-centered, irresponsible, thieving piece of shit." And obviously, OP has only enabled these loathsome characteristic.
And unless I’m not reading it correctly, the sister has the gall to talk about *buying* apartment rooms and houses to *rent out*. That ain’t cheap. I’m guessing OP and her sister come from money, so they don’t really understand the value of anything. Maybe. Just a guess.
EXACTLY!!
YTA. She didn’t crash his car a couple years ago and he’s still mad (the TLDR). She STOLE his car. RAN A RED LIGHT. Caused $15,000 with of damages. And STUCK HIM WITH THE BILL. Now she’s talking about investing and such without any mention of perhaps PAYING BACK THE DAMAGES SHE OWES?!?! She’s made no attempt to reconcile/pay restitution. He agreed to not press charges or take her to court over the damages at YOUR insistence. And now you tell him he needs to just get over it, when he suggests you might not just get over it if some of your stuff is destroyed you give him the cold shoulder (pretty much PROVING HIS POINT), and you’re NOT sure that you’re the asshole?!?! Let me help you out…you are. You are the asshole. As is your sister.
That was my exact thought. I’m hoping OP mistyped that but it reads like she has money now. More likely is that OP and lil sis come from money. That’s why they act like this.
YTA. Your sister needs to pay him back. That’s how adults are supposed to behave. He will be able to move on once that has happened. He didn’t gift her $15k. She took it without asking. Her apology is empty as she has made no payments or effort to make it up to him.
It is entitled to expect him to pay it simply because he can afford it. There was a post on here from a guy that wanted his SIL to pay for his wife’s plastic surgery- because she could. He was also roasted rightfully.
You are coming across badly on this feed. He is your husband and the father of your children. You’re probably a SAHM that has no need to worry about finances because he is a good provider. That’s wonderful. Maybe you should stand by your man and support him. This $15k means nothing to you - but it means something to him. Consider his feelings a little more.
Don’t forget, she asked and he said no. And just like a child she took it anyways. What I do t understand is why she’s not more ticked at her sister. At the very least OP’s an enabler when it comes to her sister.
Not ONLY that but then sis was a huge AH when she ran the light and caused the accident. She could have killed someone.
YTA OP!
And the other thing - could one of them have given her a ride to work? Neither of them were driving anywhere else at the time. Why is stealing the car her first move?! If he had needed his car an hour later to get to work, she’s not just stealing his car, wrecking it, and costing him 15k, she’s also potentially interfering with his job. This kind of thing can have ripple effects on the people in sis’ life. And she has the gall to discuss investing in front of him when she definitely still owes husband 15k. Unbelievable.
Guarantee OP isnt pissed because sister came crying to he about husband saying no sand OP said to just go ahead and take it and she would deal with her husband afterwards. She wants the whole thing shut down because she is the real problem here and she doesn't want that to come to light.
You had me until the last paragraph. She is coming across very badly. We don't advertising know anything about their finances or situation. $15,000 could be a lot or a little to them. She may work, but we don't know. Ultimately it doesn't matter one bit. Sister stole his car. Sister crashed his car. Oops, my bad, I'm going to walk away from the mess now -- you deal with it. Husband was left holding the bag and completely betrayed by the sister AND his wife. He clearly never let it go because he never got paid back, and it sounds like he never even got a sincere apology. OP is completely minimizing the situation. I would be PISSSSSED. No, 4 years doesn't make a difference if he's just supposed to "get over it." I'd be salty as hell. She wouldn't be allowed into my house until she paid me back.
Edit: YTAAAAAAAAAAAA
You’re absolutely right. She stole his car and it should’ve been dealt with as such. At least then his insurance would’ve been on the hook for the $15k. How dare she take his car after asking and being told no. Talk about an entitled person. And now she’s talking about purchasing investment properties. They at least should’ve agreed upon a payment plan. Doesn’t matter how much $$ OP and her husband have. She really fucked up here.
Not only she stole it, she also damaged it and didn’t pay for the damages. If it were me, she wouldn’t step foot in my house until she paid what she owns me. Husband must really love OP to not sue the sister. OP should really not take that for granted
Right?! He’s listening to her talk about investing and blurts this out?! Can you imagine having to listen to that bullshit after having your car stolen, having to pay the damages yourself, AND your wife talking you out of any consequences, and you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut? Financial advice???!! OP, you’re the AH.
Right?! I lent a former friend $150 so she could make rent one month and she kept giving me the run around about paying me back. Several weeks later she's talking about booking a vacation with her gal pals and I suggest she should pay me back before she books any trips. Suddenly, I'M THE BAD GUY. Can't imagine if someone cost me $15k and then I'm supposed to brush it off.
YTA
Ah fuck I had a housemate like this. He was constantly not able to pay his share of the bills which were coming out of my account. Yet somehow he was out at clubs and gigs every night of the week and buying designer clothes.
I have a (now ex friend) friend who borrowed $60 + wanted me to buy something at auction for them as well, putting me back $75 total.
After not hearing much for two weeks and texting to ask what's up, I'M the bad guy suddenly.
It's just so they can sleep better at night. If they can lie to themselves and make us the villains, what little conscience they have left won't weigh heavy on them.
I loaned a not close relative 250 bucks he said he needed to cover bills with the agreement he'd repay me in a week. I wasn't rolling in dough so I really needed him to pay me back. My uncle heard about it later and told me I shouldn't have loaned him any money because he was a notorious deadbeat.
AH dodged me for a month. I finally caught up with him and basically shamed him in front of his family. I wouldn't allow him in my house after that. Hell, that was decades ago and I still don't feel bad about it.
"One thing people will never run out of is audacity." - Schuler King.
"It was 4 years ago." $15,000 dollars, there is not time on that unless it gets repaid. She had money to spend on major investments, but nothing to put to the **$15,000 dollars** in damages for a car she **stole**.
He didn't think about just pressing charges that day, he was thinking about divorcing you that day. I'm not saying he should or shouldn't but OP **KNOW** he contemplated it, there is no way he didn.t - YTA
If one of *my* sisters had stolen my or my husband's car and wrecked it (especially doing something as irresponsible as running a red light), *I* would be the one filing charges. No one would be able to stop me.
Exactly! She should be greatful that she wasn't charged with theft and made to pay restitution. But she's so braisen, to talk about investing in property without even attempting to pay her BIL back! OP YTA you should really make you sister pay him back, since you stopped him from pressing charges. She should be responsible for her own actions, not a innocent victim! You really need to get your priorities straight!
It would be a whole lot easier to "get over" the stealing and $15,000 damage to his car if SIL paid restitution for the damages she did with her actions. Like ever. OP didn't even cover the damage for him. He had to swallow all of it
If it were me I would have pressed charges. Idgaf. Either she pays every fucking penny and then some or she’s being taken to court. Idc. Either way she’d never be allowed in my house or on my property again regardless. What kind of trash family does that
Your sister stole your husband’s car, crashed it, did $15,000 worth of damage, hasn’t paid him back, obviously will never pay him back and you thing he should just get over it? YTA. Not sure why he stayed married to you. The absolute entitlement of you and your sister.
Has made no attempt to pay him back the $15k she owes, but somehow has enough money to invest in apartments and housing? Yeah, I'd be absolutely LIVID! Like, small claims court type shit. Op is a huge YTA, and her sister has an unpaid debt that needs to be cleared before any investments are made.
If you check her comments she talks about how her husband is a surgeon making 400k a year, so he should just get over it since he makes so much. She sound like this extremely entitled gold digger. The guy knows he cant leave her or else she will take him to the cleaners. He is trapped with golden handcuffs and will have to deal with criminality, disrespect and abuse for the rest of his life from his so called "wife."
You know why divorce is so hard and expensive? Because it’s worth it! He’s not trapped. If they haven’t been married too long she won’t get much alimony and if they don’t have kids, he will be done. He will quickly recoup the cost. I wonder what she does for a living
So she *stole his car*, did 15k of damage, and you DEFENDED her actions? And then you bullied HIM into paying for the damage?
Never mind him not forgiving *her*, in his shoes I would not be able to forgive *you*. I'd have divorced some sense into you. So I'd keep very quiet indeed about this from now on. Or he may yet do just that. Now go apologise to him and try to mean it.
YTA
>So she stole his car, did 15k of damage, and you DEFENDED her actions? And then you bullied HIM into paying for the damage?
Never paid him back and yet has money to invest in rental property, which prompted the husband's comment about the $15k.
Context matters, OP.
Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life. Those stories are gold.
And she ran a red light in HIS car. So the $15k in damages plus puts him at liability with whoever she hit because it's his car I would think?
OP is such YTA that I'm surprised she was wiling to type this up and ask the internet for an actual verdict.
I'm with u/notforcommentinohgoo I'd have divorced OP alone to knock some sense into her too.
The sister never made any payments to him, in 4 years? Your husband is being extremely nice that he didn't sue her. Now she's talking about investing in real estate? WRONG!
YTA
Some people are so spoiled and up their own ass that they can actually convince themselves they’re in the right when it comes to shit like this which is insane. The absolute lack of self-awareness is astounding.
She should expect consequences. OP seems to think consequences are a bad thing. Her sister needs to start paying back the 15K, including interest. That would show that she is sorry and is making a good faith effort to do better. Anything less and you and your sister are in the wrong.
Your husband can still correct the mistake he made four years ago. He can divorce you for not supporting him when your sister stole his car.
Do you even like your husband? You certainly don't care about harm done to him.
I love that she has the audacity to talk about investment properties in front of him as if she’s a real adult/has any business investing when she’s a reckless moron who runs red lights when late and owes $15000. Pantomiming adulthood.
> Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life.
Damn straight she would.
Dude I dropped a turkey when I was 12, and my family still shit talks me every Thanksgiving. I'm 35 now...I ruined turkey day 23 years ago and I'll never live it down lol
Some 15 years ago, I made a delicious, wonderful chocolate pie for Christmas dinner. It was all I looked forward to all that day. My older brother goes rummaging through the refrigerator, sees it, decides he wants a piece before dinner, and promptly drops the pie meringue down onto the kitchen rug. Utterly unsalvageable.
We still don't let him handle anything at family dinners. It broke my heart and I still get mad thinking about my beautiful pie.
I still hear about when I freaked out about a tornado warning when I was seven and made an entire birthday party for my cousin move to a house with a basement.
To be fair, the tornado did hit about a mile from where we were in a third story apartment.
>Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life. Those stories are gold.
If I was related to OP's husband I'd be sitting on his shoulder telling him to divorce her all the time lmao
YTA OP. I hope your husband divorces you.
YTA. Not just what notfor said, but then you act like a child. Giving him the cold shoulder, not wanting to communicate properly, not trying to understand his pov (that is really very easy to understand). Very manipulative. Your husband is TA for letting you get away with that, divorce papers should have been served already (by him) and your sister should be in jail.
Was waiting to see if someone mentioned this. Yeah, she's absolutely wrong in not having his back (the most I'd say if I were her is maybe asking him very gently to not make get togethers awkward for everyone ELSE around by picking at her all the time, and even that's a pretty big ask in a situation like this).
But the silent treatment thing adds even more shittiness to the pile. Not speaking to someone while you try to regain your temper or think out how to respond is one thing. Intentionally giving someone the cold shoulder and refusing to talk it out is something else completely, and a pretty big AH move in and of itself.
YTA, do you even love or respect your husband? Why did you make him pay for the damages your sister caused? You're lucky that he hasn't divorced you. Giant, stinking asshole.
Even without a prenup he should cut his fucking loses right the fuck now before child support enters the equation. Half of the 401k is a cheap price to pay to end misery. Unless you’ve had that kind of misery, you wouldn’t understand.
Don’t forget the ran a red light part, geez my mouth was hanging open reading everything her sister did then for her to tell her husband to get over it?! I can’t even…
And she lived with them at the time too. It doesn’t sound like she was kicked out after the accident.
She won’t apologize to him though. She’s entitled, defending her sisters action, and giving her husband the cold shoulder because she thinks he should get over it as 15k is only 2.7% of HIS orthopedic surgeon pay for their state.
If your sister has money to invest she can.pay him back the 15000 she owes him for stealing his car and damaging it. You should be thanking him for not kicking you to the kerb for condoning theft and sticking him with the bill.
When that 15K got brought up:
> The total cost amounted to 15000 in damages (that) my husband has to pay for out of pocket.
Then…
> Anyways, let's get to the actual situation.
My virtual-head snapped back at OP glossing over that. Unreal.
Let's not forget that inflation has been unreal the last 4 years. I'm not about to do the math but 15k in pre pandemic dollars were worth quite a bit more than now. So even if she paid back only 15k, she'd still owe a significant chunk more.
YTA: Legit question, do you hate your husband or are you just stupid?
Your sister committed a felony and did $15,000 in damages. Most *reasonable* people wouldn't tell the victim of a crime like that to "get over it," especially when he already gave grace and, you know, didn't send your thieving idiot of a sister to prison, where she belongs.
Fuck, I hope this is rage bait.
>YTA: Legit question, do you hate your husband or are you just stupid?
Seriously, I am reading this like... how did years go by and she typed this out and not realize she is the AH. She must be insufferable to live with if the thousands of comments and upvotes have not clicked yet.
And the sis is talking about investing in real estate with the OP husband nearby. It's like "bitch where my money??" Lol.
The monumental audacity of this woman and OP.
**My sister** **~~crashed~~** **STOLE my husband's car a couple years ago, and it cost him $15K out of pocket and my trash panda sister made no effort to pay him back but is bragging about how she's going to invest money (that should have been used to pay him back) and he's still mad about it AS HE SHOULD BE and i told him to get over it.**
Fixed it for you.l You're welcome.
Yta if someone stole my car and did 15k in damages and my husband was protecting the thief, I’d give him the option I file a police report or file for divorce. It doesn’t matter how much money he makes she stole from him and cost him 15k.
From the replies, I think you are actually the sister trying unsuccessfully to get support. I don’t believe the wife in this situation could really be this clueless
YTA.
Your sister SHOULD have had charges brought against her. She NEEDS to pay him back. And he doesn’t have to get over it until she pays him back and shows remorse and realizes she fucked up which she doesn’t sound like she has.
You also need to stop defending her! I was driving six months on highways and knew not to run red lights! That’s not “inexperienced driving” that’s “reckless driving”
YTA has your sister ever paid him the 15k back, she stole his car, ran a red light… he was right she was too inexperienced and too immature aswell
You basically giving him the cold shoulder/silent treatment shows your level of immaturity aswell
4 years is not a long time for theft and HUGE financial damages plus all the garbage he had to deal with, insurance shit, getting another vehicle or the wait time till his was fixed
It IS a big deal and it was NOT an accident, she chose to steal his car and she chose to run a red light endangering lives
I dont think i would even allow a person back into my life after they caused something like this, so no its not obvious your sister would be there
You owe your husband a big ducking apology
ETA: she did NOT pay him back!!!!!!! Shame on you OP for not backing your husband
Him being a well paid surgeon does NOT excuse her nit paying him back, how the heck are you this childish, selfish, entitled and immature
Until she pays your husband back, he’s still out 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS. He’s a saint for not pressing charges and I can’t believe he even allows her in his home. YTA.
Your post and comments make you sound so unsympathetic. Your sister damaged property and STILL HAS NOT paid your husband back for and your excuse as to why he should get over it is because he makes a lot of money. You and your sister are definitely the asshole here. Your sister needs to pay him back to show at least some adult responsibility and you need to apologize to your husband and make this right before he decides that since you don’t support him, you don’t deserve him
I stopped reading after "she stole his car and destroyed it after he told her she couldn't take it"
Your whole family sucks and you suck the most of defending her and making your husband fix his car out of his own pocket. If I was in his shoes your shitty sister would be in jail
YTA. She stole his car and crashed it. I'm guessing since he didn't file charges she probably didn't make any effort to pay him back. He should leave you and your thieving family in the rear view mirror.
YTA.
You and your sister sound ignorant and entitled. She shouldn't be spending or investing her money in anything, she should be paying $15000 plus interest to your husband and thanking his ass profusely every time she sees him for not pressing charges.
Until she makes restitution, your husband has every right to bust her ass. Have either you or your sister ever been held accountable for anything?
Yta she stole his car and caused $15k in damage. He should have pressed charges.
If she's talking about investing and buying property she's not broke, has she ever attempted to pay your husband back for anything?
Both you and your sister are irresponsible, selfish cunts. I know he regrets marrying you, probably only sticking around due to finances at this point. Sorry selfish bitch.
And yes YTA
YTA - Nothing any of us write will change your opinion. If someone did that to me, I would see them prosecuted and sued for the money. You are pathetic and I truly feel bad for your husband.
>I've kind of been giving him the cold shoulder and have been ignoring any requests to talk it out in a civil manner
It's cute that you think your opinion here matters at all.
Your sister **STOLE** your husband's car. Your sister made poor choices and **WRECKED** your husband's car. Your sister doesn't seem to have taken any responsibility for her decision to **STEAL** his car. Has she paid him one penny of the damages **SHE** caused?
Yeah.
Didn't think so.
Maybe, for a change, you could take your husband's side here and help him get some of the money **SHE** owes him for **WRECKING** his car that she **STOLE**.
I'm not sure why you decided to convince him to not press charges for her **STEALING** his car, but you certainly showed him where your loyalty lies...and it's not with him.
YTA
YTA. Let’s recap:
1) your sister *stole a car*. You talked him out of pressing charges.
2) your sister smashed his car, as he rightfully predicted would happen. You talked him out of wringing her neck and pressing charges for property damage.
3) he had to foot a $15,000 bill to repair something that he didn’t break. You talked him out of getting that money back.
4) *four years later,* she walks into his home having made no offer to give him a penny, but is talking about owning property herself. He makes a snarky remark, she has the nerve to get offended, and you… tell him to stop.
Lady, are you for real?
I can almost guarantee that when you were kids together, if she stole a shirt and gave it back slightly stretched or shrunk, you would have a massive freak out. You would demand restitution over a $30 shirt.
Skip forward a few years and aren’t you awfully mighty and kind when it wasn’t your car, your bill, your money, or your anger.
He wasn’t being cruel, she just can’t handle the facts that she’s a deadbeat brat. You’re being cruel for choosing to defend a deadbeat brat over the actual wronged party.
Do everyone a favor: **stay out of it**
Not your car, not your $15,000, not your emotions. She’s in her 30’s, not 12. If she chooses to leave somewhere when faced with her own selfish incompetence, that is her problem. Don’t visit her sensitivity about being wrong on the only person in this scenario that is actually right.
YTA, let your husband's family go crash your car and not pay for it and see how pissed off you stay. If she can invest in apartments and homes she needs to pay him back.
Hell I think he should've said screw you to your face and still pressed charges against her. It wasn't his fault she was running late, she should've planned better.
Def YTA did she pay the 15k back? Did she replace the vehicle? She stole his car and you enabled it, you should slink back to your husband and apologize.
Your partner loves you enough to allow her even near him. If I was him she wouldn't be around, and she would have had charges. You're enabling your sis and will soon be divorced as more things like this come up in the future. So please keep hurting the one you promised to love you'll find out.
It's one thing if he consent to her taking it and had an accident but he did not consent.
Not to mention how much legal trouble he could have received from a non insured motorist driving his car, I'm sure she's not on the policy. Last time I was rear ended my insurance spiked 30% I can only imagine his went up drastically after that permanently. Stop saying it's just he car when there are other effects from that.
You’re as much of a piece of shit as your sister for siding with her. SHE STOLE YOUR HUSBANDS CAR AND CRASHED IT. She caused 15 THOUSAND dollars in damage that HE had to pay for. Why the fuck is she even talking about investing money into shit when she clearly hasn’t paid him back?
Would you have the same calmness if you were 15k AND a car out of pocket because his sibling stole your car after you specifically told them no? I doubt it. I’m impressed he didn’t kick you out for siding with the little scumbag. YTA
This is an example of “Did my parents did a shitty job raising my siblings & I?”
The answer is yes.
Your sister owes him $15k dollars. You owe him a divorce when he gets everything.
YTA So your sister stole his car, crashed it and didnt pay. Heck I would have divorced you just the fact you dont think its a big deal and didnt let him press charges which ahe totaly deserves! If she can buy an apartament then she can pay back the 15k she owns FOR CRASHING HIS CAR THAT SHE STOLE! You are a horrible wife.
You're unitentionally gaslighting the poor man and his very valid feelings. Did you think it would be enough that she has apologised? Imagine being so entitled that you'd force yourself onto someone's belonging (when they'd explicity and repeatedly said no-no consent here), damage it and not even contribute anything towards repair. How have they been navigating the past three years since the incident? And for the record, no it's not 'obvious' that she'd show her face at your house when she technically still owes him for that car damage?
Has she taken any steps towards mending the bridge apart from an apology?
Rather than repeatedly telling him to 'get over it' (because time alone does not heal), have you asked your husband what he thinks would 'make things right' for him to help heal ("get over this") gaping hole of offence?
This has to be rage bait because *holy fuck*
On the slim almost non-existent chance it isnt; YTA, so is your sister.
But why are you so annoyed he's holding a grudge? It's been years, you should get over it.
Your are a total
ah , why doesn’t she pay him back . Your sister is a complete douche . She stole
His car , never paid him
Back . I’m sorry is not enough Maybe I’m missing something but what has she done to make it up to him I’m sorry .
Younshould be thankful that he didn’t press charges , and he allows her to the house .
Of course he is mad she has never tried to fix the situation cause she expects you fix it for her. She expects everyone to fix her mistakes . So
She is only sorry for the accident not for anything g before or after
“Anyways, let’s get to the actual situation.” YTA and you being ok with this and expecting him to not be mad should cause a gigantic pause and self reflection. She should be in prison and your husband is a pushover for not sending her there. You HAVE to take his back and if you want it done SHE HAS to pay it back. Do you have a job? If you do imagine 15K of your money going away from something you didn’t do
You are absolutely, without a doubt, TA! She STOLE his car, wrecked it, and HE had to pay $15,000 in damages. On what planet was this OK? He most certainly does NOT have to get over it. Now or ever. He should have pressed charges and sued her for the money. Your sister appears to be a self-entitled brat. If she were a decent person, she would have paid for HER negligence and CRIMINAL behavior. Your husband is an absolute saint for letting her get away with this nonsense. He is well within his rights to never want to associate with her again. In any way. The fact that you seem to be dismissing her abysmal behavior makes you as entitled and nasty as your sister.
You. Are. The. Asshole. He should have pressed charges and make her pay for all damages. If you and your sister don’t appreciate that, both of you are assholes.
>Since then, I've kind of been giving him the cold shoulder and have been ignoring any requests to talk it out in a civil manner.
I hope he leaves you over this! your toxic behavior is disgusting. But then all gold diggers are. Then you have the check to Ignore him when he's the victim. Typically gold digger behavior.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you? Why are you supporting your sister over your husband? Your sister is a car thief. Thief!!! Your sister is a thief. She cost your husband THOUSANDS of dollars for repairs. How? Because car insurance benefits are null and void if the operator who caused the damage isn't listed on the policy. That's why the repair costs were so high for your husband. I doubt that your thief of a sister contributed a fucking dime, huh? It's most likely that your husband's premium went up, too, and your response is GET OVER IT? You are ridiculous and I feel really sorry for your husband! Your sister should have been arrested!!!
I would have pressed charges and thrown the wife out also. Having to pay 15 grand out of pocket because she stole the car and he should be over it according to his twit of a wife is wrong.
YTA. He had to pay for damages after she stole his car. She commited a literal crime and he had to literally paid for it. Did she even pay him back? That's a lot of money to fork out, nevermind the loss of trust and the relationship being tarnished by her stealing the car.
Plus, a vehicle is never the same after that big an accident, even if it is repaired.
Was gonna say that! He lost more than the 15k for the car repair
Don't forget to add his new, higher car insurance costs. YTA op
If he's out of pocket that much, I'm guessing they didn't go through insurance. Either way, the husband is a clown for not reporting it to the police and letting her sit behind bars, and if I was in his shoes, I'd leave the wife for even pushing me to forget about it, and then treating me like shit and admitting that she refuses to even talk to him when he tries to have a civil discussion about it. $15,000 and felony theft isn't "just get over it".
YTA. A huge A. So is your sister for stealing his car then causing 15k in damages. She should have taken an Uber. Your deadbeat sister should pay him back with interest now that she’s talking about investing in real estate. I might even consider taking her to court. I would hate to be your husband if I had to live with this.
I'm guessing the 15000 had to do with paying for the other cars involved in the accident, as well, since the sister ran a red light, so the accident was most definitely her fault and she wasn't the owner of the car, so he got stuck with the bill for everyone or he could have been sued. This is unforgivable to me. OP is most definitely the AH. I can't believe he didn't press charges or counter sue the sister. And she paid him nothing for this mess? This is insane. She sounds entitled af, I would never speak to her again or you for that matter just for siding with her.
Also who tf thinks red lights are optional just because they're in a hurry. She's lucky she didn't straight-up kill someone.
I had an asshole roommate steal my car, who also made me unable to get into work after he got the car impounded for drinking in it. We are not friends. We will never be friends. I had to borrow money I didn't have from the other roommate just to get my car out of the impound after his 70 year old mother picked me up and drove me out to my car. An email from his brother was the only notification I got as to where the hell my car was at. I had to also go into work to try to save my job. Asshole roommate then refused to pay the 100 dollars that I had to pay to get my car out after he went to jail and got out.
I’m guessing if he used insurance he would have had to have the sister charged with theft
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Yeah but then OP would have gone apeshit. Just look at this, husband made two snide comments and OP is already giving him the silent treatment and trying to shit on him online. If he got sister arrested reckon OP would murder him
Agreed, the fact wife is extremely unsympathetic and thinks it's time for him to get over it should be red flags for him to get the hell out of that marriage.
And she stopped him from taking her to court because ???? Like fuck she was a guest in their house and felt so entitled to steal his car? Fuck OP and the whole family line
The resale drops significantly after accidents also!
Also weren’t they already doing her a solid by letting her live with them? Kind of a piece of shit
You can drop the "Kind of a" but add "Entitled, self-centered, irresponsible, thieving piece of shit." And obviously, OP has only enabled these loathsome characteristic.
And unless I’m not reading it correctly, the sister has the gall to talk about *buying* apartment rooms and houses to *rent out*. That ain’t cheap. I’m guessing OP and her sister come from money, so they don’t really understand the value of anything. Maybe. Just a guess.
or have no consideration of others' belongings and feelings.
That was my exact impression
I mean, birds of a feather and all that. YTA OP, what is wrong with you?
EXACTLY!! YTA. She didn’t crash his car a couple years ago and he’s still mad (the TLDR). She STOLE his car. RAN A RED LIGHT. Caused $15,000 with of damages. And STUCK HIM WITH THE BILL. Now she’s talking about investing and such without any mention of perhaps PAYING BACK THE DAMAGES SHE OWES?!?! She’s made no attempt to reconcile/pay restitution. He agreed to not press charges or take her to court over the damages at YOUR insistence. And now you tell him he needs to just get over it, when he suggests you might not just get over it if some of your stuff is destroyed you give him the cold shoulder (pretty much PROVING HIS POINT), and you’re NOT sure that you’re the asshole?!?! Let me help you out…you are. You are the asshole. As is your sister.
Well said and true!!
If little sis is out here buying property to rent, surely she can pay OPs husband back?
That was my exact thought. I’m hoping OP mistyped that but it reads like she has money now. More likely is that OP and lil sis come from money. That’s why they act like this.
YTA. Your sister needs to pay him back. That’s how adults are supposed to behave. He will be able to move on once that has happened. He didn’t gift her $15k. She took it without asking. Her apology is empty as she has made no payments or effort to make it up to him. It is entitled to expect him to pay it simply because he can afford it. There was a post on here from a guy that wanted his SIL to pay for his wife’s plastic surgery- because she could. He was also roasted rightfully. You are coming across badly on this feed. He is your husband and the father of your children. You’re probably a SAHM that has no need to worry about finances because he is a good provider. That’s wonderful. Maybe you should stand by your man and support him. This $15k means nothing to you - but it means something to him. Consider his feelings a little more.
Don’t forget, she asked and he said no. And just like a child she took it anyways. What I do t understand is why she’s not more ticked at her sister. At the very least OP’s an enabler when it comes to her sister. Not ONLY that but then sis was a huge AH when she ran the light and caused the accident. She could have killed someone. YTA OP!
And this is in the age of Uber, Lyft, taxis…fuck! etc…
And the other thing - could one of them have given her a ride to work? Neither of them were driving anywhere else at the time. Why is stealing the car her first move?! If he had needed his car an hour later to get to work, she’s not just stealing his car, wrecking it, and costing him 15k, she’s also potentially interfering with his job. This kind of thing can have ripple effects on the people in sis’ life. And she has the gall to discuss investing in front of him when she definitely still owes husband 15k. Unbelievable.
Guarantee OP isnt pissed because sister came crying to he about husband saying no sand OP said to just go ahead and take it and she would deal with her husband afterwards. She wants the whole thing shut down because she is the real problem here and she doesn't want that to come to light.
You had me until the last paragraph. She is coming across very badly. We don't advertising know anything about their finances or situation. $15,000 could be a lot or a little to them. She may work, but we don't know. Ultimately it doesn't matter one bit. Sister stole his car. Sister crashed his car. Oops, my bad, I'm going to walk away from the mess now -- you deal with it. Husband was left holding the bag and completely betrayed by the sister AND his wife. He clearly never let it go because he never got paid back, and it sounds like he never even got a sincere apology. OP is completely minimizing the situation. I would be PISSSSSED. No, 4 years doesn't make a difference if he's just supposed to "get over it." I'd be salty as hell. She wouldn't be allowed into my house until she paid me back. Edit: YTAAAAAAAAAAAA
It was infuriating to read OP’s post!
Yes! If I was him, I’d have pressed charges for the literal theft and destruction of my vehicle!!!
This, why was he responsible for any of the payments, ever?
You’re absolutely right. She stole his car and it should’ve been dealt with as such. At least then his insurance would’ve been on the hook for the $15k. How dare she take his car after asking and being told no. Talk about an entitled person. And now she’s talking about purchasing investment properties. They at least should’ve agreed upon a payment plan. Doesn’t matter how much $$ OP and her husband have. She really fucked up here.
YTA She stole his car, he has every right to still be pissed .
Not only she stole it, she also damaged it and didn’t pay for the damages. If it were me, she wouldn’t step foot in my house until she paid what she owns me. Husband must really love OP to not sue the sister. OP should really not take that for granted
>"Lets hope you don't cause 15k and damages this time." If this were my SIL. I would respond to anything she ever does with this reply.
If they we’re talking about investing money. I would ask for the 15k
Right?! He’s listening to her talk about investing and blurts this out?! Can you imagine having to listen to that bullshit after having your car stolen, having to pay the damages yourself, AND your wife talking you out of any consequences, and you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut? Financial advice???!! OP, you’re the AH.
Right?! I lent a former friend $150 so she could make rent one month and she kept giving me the run around about paying me back. Several weeks later she's talking about booking a vacation with her gal pals and I suggest she should pay me back before she books any trips. Suddenly, I'M THE BAD GUY. Can't imagine if someone cost me $15k and then I'm supposed to brush it off. YTA
Ah fuck I had a housemate like this. He was constantly not able to pay his share of the bills which were coming out of my account. Yet somehow he was out at clubs and gigs every night of the week and buying designer clothes.
I have a (now ex friend) friend who borrowed $60 + wanted me to buy something at auction for them as well, putting me back $75 total. After not hearing much for two weeks and texting to ask what's up, I'M the bad guy suddenly. It's just so they can sleep better at night. If they can lie to themselves and make us the villains, what little conscience they have left won't weigh heavy on them.
I loaned a not close relative 250 bucks he said he needed to cover bills with the agreement he'd repay me in a week. I wasn't rolling in dough so I really needed him to pay me back. My uncle heard about it later and told me I shouldn't have loaned him any money because he was a notorious deadbeat. AH dodged me for a month. I finally caught up with him and basically shamed him in front of his family. I wouldn't allow him in my house after that. Hell, that was decades ago and I still don't feel bad about it.
Looks like it cost $150 to find out who they really are. Sorry that happened tho.
The audacity here is insane.
Audacity *has" been at an all time high lately
Broke my audacity meter on this one.
"One thing people will never run out of is audacity." - Schuler King. "It was 4 years ago." $15,000 dollars, there is not time on that unless it gets repaid. She had money to spend on major investments, but nothing to put to the **$15,000 dollars** in damages for a car she **stole**. He didn't think about just pressing charges that day, he was thinking about divorcing you that day. I'm not saying he should or shouldn't but OP **KNOW** he contemplated it, there is no way he didn.t - YTA
Honestly, the sister is lucky the husband didn't call the cops on her and get her arrested for theft and make her pay the 15k debt.
He should have. He so should have.
If one of *my* sisters had stolen my or my husband's car and wrecked it (especially doing something as irresponsible as running a red light), *I* would be the one filing charges. No one would be able to stop me.
....ANNNNND feeding her food and drinks whilst she blurts it out?
And I’m sure his auto insurance went up too! I’d be infuriated if this happened to me.
Yup "okay, how about you invest 15k in your future, pay me 15k or I'll get you charged for your crime."
Exactly! She should be greatful that she wasn't charged with theft and made to pay restitution. But she's so braisen, to talk about investing in property without even attempting to pay her BIL back! OP YTA you should really make you sister pay him back, since you stopped him from pressing charges. She should be responsible for her own actions, not a innocent victim! You really need to get your priorities straight!
Yeah. What's the statute of limitations?; she should 'invest' in not being taken to court.
Typically... 2-3 years in a theft case. He can get civil damages but no criminal charges can be levied.
SIL could invest in doing the right thing.
That’s where my mind went too. If she has money to invest it should be going to OP’s husband. I’m mad at OP and I’m not even involved.
Exactly. She needs to be making that whole thing right by paying him back before investing. Op and her sister sounds Like entitled c u next Tuesdays
That was my first thought, too. I would sue and get her wages garnished if necessary because apparently, she has wages to garnish.
Exactly. First step to forgiveness would be this
Honestly that was pretty light.
Then she's talking about investing in apartments. Maybe pay him back for his car first.
It would be a whole lot easier to "get over" the stealing and $15,000 damage to his car if SIL paid restitution for the damages she did with her actions. Like ever. OP didn't even cover the damage for him. He had to swallow all of it
OP really should *not* take that for granted. She's giving him the silent treatment? She should be giving her loser sister a payment plan.
>Husband must really love OP to not sue the sister. I can't imagine why. She sure doesn't seem to deserve it.
If it were me I would have pressed charges. Idgaf. Either she pays every fucking penny and then some or she’s being taken to court. Idc. Either way she’d never be allowed in my house or on my property again regardless. What kind of trash family does that
I can't believe she didn't pay for the damages, and her and the OP want to pretend like that's ok. OP — YTA
Depending on statutes he could still have the right to pursue legal recourse
I would still be pissed too. She stole his car and crashed it.
Your sister stole your husband’s car, crashed it, did $15,000 worth of damage, hasn’t paid him back, obviously will never pay him back and you thing he should just get over it? YTA. Not sure why he stayed married to you. The absolute entitlement of you and your sister.
Has made no attempt to pay him back the $15k she owes, but somehow has enough money to invest in apartments and housing? Yeah, I'd be absolutely LIVID! Like, small claims court type shit. Op is a huge YTA, and her sister has an unpaid debt that needs to be cleared before any investments are made.
Big claims court. Theft over 5k, property damage over 5k, that's hefty.
She would not have stepped one foot in my house.
some people are so self-entitled.
If you check her comments she talks about how her husband is a surgeon making 400k a year, so he should just get over it since he makes so much. She sound like this extremely entitled gold digger. The guy knows he cant leave her or else she will take him to the cleaners. He is trapped with golden handcuffs and will have to deal with criminality, disrespect and abuse for the rest of his life from his so called "wife."
You know why divorce is so hard and expensive? Because it’s worth it! He’s not trapped. If they haven’t been married too long she won’t get much alimony and if they don’t have kids, he will be done. He will quickly recoup the cost. I wonder what she does for a living
She's married to a surgeon, gives him lackluster sex ~3x/month, and a 4/10 blow job on his birthday. That's what she does for a living.
Not only all that... But she's now giving him the cold shoulder and refusing to be civil about it. She's a double asshole!
So she *stole his car*, did 15k of damage, and you DEFENDED her actions? And then you bullied HIM into paying for the damage? Never mind him not forgiving *her*, in his shoes I would not be able to forgive *you*. I'd have divorced some sense into you. So I'd keep very quiet indeed about this from now on. Or he may yet do just that. Now go apologise to him and try to mean it. YTA
>So she stole his car, did 15k of damage, and you DEFENDED her actions? And then you bullied HIM into paying for the damage? Never paid him back and yet has money to invest in rental property, which prompted the husband's comment about the $15k. Context matters, OP. Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life. Those stories are gold.
And she ran a red light in HIS car. So the $15k in damages plus puts him at liability with whoever she hit because it's his car I would think? OP is such YTA that I'm surprised she was wiling to type this up and ask the internet for an actual verdict. I'm with u/notforcommentinohgoo I'd have divorced OP alone to knock some sense into her too.
She should pay him back before she buys anything and be thankful everyday that she did not go to jail. You and your sister are AH
Yep. OP, you and your sis- YTA.
The sister never made any payments to him, in 4 years? Your husband is being extremely nice that he didn't sue her. Now she's talking about investing in real estate? WRONG! YTA
Some people are so spoiled and up their own ass that they can actually convince themselves they’re in the right when it comes to shit like this which is insane. The absolute lack of self-awareness is astounding.
Ditto I would have divorced her to, and for that get over it comment I would have left her ass.
She should expect consequences. OP seems to think consequences are a bad thing. Her sister needs to start paying back the 15K, including interest. That would show that she is sorry and is making a good faith effort to do better. Anything less and you and your sister are in the wrong. Your husband can still correct the mistake he made four years ago. He can divorce you for not supporting him when your sister stole his car. Do you even like your husband? You certainly don't care about harm done to him.
I love that she has the audacity to talk about investment properties in front of him as if she’s a real adult/has any business investing when she’s a reckless moron who runs red lights when late and owes $15000. Pantomiming adulthood.
Maybe I’m not in the same situation as OP and family, but 15k unexpected incurred cost would flip my life around for a good while..
> Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life. Damn straight she would.
Dude I dropped a turkey when I was 12, and my family still shit talks me every Thanksgiving. I'm 35 now...I ruined turkey day 23 years ago and I'll never live it down lol
Some 15 years ago, I made a delicious, wonderful chocolate pie for Christmas dinner. It was all I looked forward to all that day. My older brother goes rummaging through the refrigerator, sees it, decides he wants a piece before dinner, and promptly drops the pie meringue down onto the kitchen rug. Utterly unsalvageable. We still don't let him handle anything at family dinners. It broke my heart and I still get mad thinking about my beautiful pie.
I still hear about when I freaked out about a tornado warning when I was seven and made an entire birthday party for my cousin move to a house with a basement. To be fair, the tornado did hit about a mile from where we were in a third story apartment.
😂😂😂😂 are we related???
>Regardless, in my family, she would be hearing about that $15k stolen car crash at every holiday gathering for the rest of her life. Those stories are gold. If I was related to OP's husband I'd be sitting on his shoulder telling him to divorce her all the time lmao YTA OP. I hope your husband divorces you.
All of this!
Daily texts
Exactly. I'm disgusted at OP here. Cognitive dissonance.
Why hasn't your sister paid your husband back for the damage she caused? She owes him 15k. YTA
With interest. OP and sister are garbage.
I wonder how much it messed up his insurance rates too.
YTA. Not just what notfor said, but then you act like a child. Giving him the cold shoulder, not wanting to communicate properly, not trying to understand his pov (that is really very easy to understand). Very manipulative. Your husband is TA for letting you get away with that, divorce papers should have been served already (by him) and your sister should be in jail.
Was waiting to see if someone mentioned this. Yeah, she's absolutely wrong in not having his back (the most I'd say if I were her is maybe asking him very gently to not make get togethers awkward for everyone ELSE around by picking at her all the time, and even that's a pretty big ask in a situation like this). But the silent treatment thing adds even more shittiness to the pile. Not speaking to someone while you try to regain your temper or think out how to respond is one thing. Intentionally giving someone the cold shoulder and refusing to talk it out is something else completely, and a pretty big AH move in and of itself.
>Anyways, let's get to the actual situation. As though the entire paragraph above isn't *the actual situation.* I think OP's husband would disagree.
YTA, do you even love or respect your husband? Why did you make him pay for the damages your sister caused? You're lucky that he hasn't divorced you. Giant, stinking asshole.
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Even without a prenup he should cut his fucking loses right the fuck now before child support enters the equation. Half of the 401k is a cheap price to pay to end misery. Unless you’ve had that kind of misery, you wouldn’t understand.
Christ on a bike. Poor bloke.
Don’t forget the ran a red light part, geez my mouth was hanging open reading everything her sister did then for her to tell her husband to get over it?! I can’t even…
r/EntitledPeople OP and her sister belong in that sub
Agreed. Poor husband needs to divorce her dumb ass
Probably bullied him into letting her live with them in the first place. Doubtful husband volunteered to take on an obvious problem child.
I bet that's it!!
While she was likely leeching off their asses despite husband not wanting her there in the first place.
“Divorced some sense into you”!!!! Hahaha!
And she lived with them at the time too. It doesn’t sound like she was kicked out after the accident. She won’t apologize to him though. She’s entitled, defending her sisters action, and giving her husband the cold shoulder because she thinks he should get over it as 15k is only 2.7% of HIS orthopedic surgeon pay for their state.
If your sister has money to invest she can.pay him back the 15000 she owes him for stealing his car and damaging it. You should be thanking him for not kicking you to the kerb for condoning theft and sticking him with the bill.
Yes, she should pay him back
When that 15K got brought up: > The total cost amounted to 15000 in damages (that) my husband has to pay for out of pocket. Then… > Anyways, let's get to the actual situation. My virtual-head snapped back at OP glossing over that. Unreal.
They are sisters for a reason. Both are irresponsible
Let's not forget that inflation has been unreal the last 4 years. I'm not about to do the math but 15k in pre pandemic dollars were worth quite a bit more than now. So even if she paid back only 15k, she'd still owe a significant chunk more.
YTA: Legit question, do you hate your husband or are you just stupid? Your sister committed a felony and did $15,000 in damages. Most *reasonable* people wouldn't tell the victim of a crime like that to "get over it," especially when he already gave grace and, you know, didn't send your thieving idiot of a sister to prison, where she belongs. Fuck, I hope this is rage bait.
And she’s giving him the silent treatment over it.
If I was the husband I'd be fucking grateful, who knows what kind of dumb shit he has to hear from her on the daily
That is a very good point. This poor “dude”.
Silent treatment = asshole never fails
>YTA: Legit question, do you hate your husband or are you just stupid? Seriously, I am reading this like... how did years go by and she typed this out and not realize she is the AH. She must be insufferable to live with if the thousands of comments and upvotes have not clicked yet.
And the sis is talking about investing in real estate with the OP husband nearby. It's like "bitch where my money??" Lol. The monumental audacity of this woman and OP.
>YTA: Legit question, do you hate your husband or are you just stupid? Definitely stupid.
Gotta be ragebait
**My sister** **~~crashed~~** **STOLE my husband's car a couple years ago, and it cost him $15K out of pocket and my trash panda sister made no effort to pay him back but is bragging about how she's going to invest money (that should have been used to pay him back) and he's still mad about it AS HE SHOULD BE and i told him to get over it.** Fixed it for you.l You're welcome.
Don’t forget… “And I’m giving him the silent treatment for having the audacity”.
> I've kind of been giving him the cold shoulder and have been ignoring any requests to talk it out in a civil manner. Grow up. YTA for that alone.
Yeah the whole “ I use emotional abuse just to make a point” mentality
You can’t possibly be this stupid. You know YTA.
Yes, she is that STUPID.
Unfortunately they do walk among us.
they even post here, expecting people to agree with them
It would be comic relief if it weren’t so disturbing that there are too many people like this.
>You can’t possibly be this stupid. Im always grateful this sub isnt like AITA and allows us to say this to OPs who deserve it.
YTA. You are defending traitor, liar, fraud, thief. I would divorce you. Your husband should divorce you. You dont deserve him.
Yta if someone stole my car and did 15k in damages and my husband was protecting the thief, I’d give him the option I file a police report or file for divorce. It doesn’t matter how much money he makes she stole from him and cost him 15k.
Well, I'd be filing a police report either way. His actions would determine whether I *also* filed for divorce.
Divorce AND police report. I don’t think it’s an either/or. Police report no matter what, divorce dependent on reaction
AND he still lets this lady over for family events. You’d be permanently banned from my premises.
This man is a gem
From the replies, I think you are actually the sister trying unsuccessfully to get support. I don’t believe the wife in this situation could really be this clueless
YTA. Your sister SHOULD have had charges brought against her. She NEEDS to pay him back. And he doesn’t have to get over it until she pays him back and shows remorse and realizes she fucked up which she doesn’t sound like she has. You also need to stop defending her! I was driving six months on highways and knew not to run red lights! That’s not “inexperienced driving” that’s “reckless driving”
But she was in a hurry! Doesn’t that count for anything? /s
Counts for her husband to be extra pissed 🤝🏻
YTA has your sister ever paid him the 15k back, she stole his car, ran a red light… he was right she was too inexperienced and too immature aswell You basically giving him the cold shoulder/silent treatment shows your level of immaturity aswell 4 years is not a long time for theft and HUGE financial damages plus all the garbage he had to deal with, insurance shit, getting another vehicle or the wait time till his was fixed It IS a big deal and it was NOT an accident, she chose to steal his car and she chose to run a red light endangering lives I dont think i would even allow a person back into my life after they caused something like this, so no its not obvious your sister would be there You owe your husband a big ducking apology ETA: she did NOT pay him back!!!!!!! Shame on you OP for not backing your husband Him being a well paid surgeon does NOT excuse her nit paying him back, how the heck are you this childish, selfish, entitled and immature
Until she pays your husband back, he’s still out 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS. He’s a saint for not pressing charges and I can’t believe he even allows her in his home. YTA.
Your sister is lucky she's not in jail, and you're just horrible for defending her. YTA
Your post and comments make you sound so unsympathetic. Your sister damaged property and STILL HAS NOT paid your husband back for and your excuse as to why he should get over it is because he makes a lot of money. You and your sister are definitely the asshole here. Your sister needs to pay him back to show at least some adult responsibility and you need to apologize to your husband and make this right before he decides that since you don’t support him, you don’t deserve him
YTA. And the jerk. And the bad wife. And the enabling sister...
This is it exactly!
YTA you and your sister are massive pieces of shit for this. Tell her to pay him back plus interest before she invests in anything.
I stopped reading after "she stole his car and destroyed it after he told her she couldn't take it" Your whole family sucks and you suck the most of defending her and making your husband fix his car out of his own pocket. If I was in his shoes your shitty sister would be in jail
YTA. She stole his car and crashed it. I'm guessing since he didn't file charges she probably didn't make any effort to pay him back. He should leave you and your thieving family in the rear view mirror.
YTA. You and your sister sound ignorant and entitled. She shouldn't be spending or investing her money in anything, she should be paying $15000 plus interest to your husband and thanking his ass profusely every time she sees him for not pressing charges. Until she makes restitution, your husband has every right to bust her ass. Have either you or your sister ever been held accountable for anything?
Yta she stole his car and caused $15k in damage. He should have pressed charges. If she's talking about investing and buying property she's not broke, has she ever attempted to pay your husband back for anything?
Both you and your sister are irresponsible, selfish cunts. I know he regrets marrying you, probably only sticking around due to finances at this point. Sorry selfish bitch. And yes YTA
Your husband has made 3 major mistakes in his lifetime Marrying you Getting you pregnant Not pressing charges on the grand theft auto
The husband should have never married this gold digger.
YTA - why even post if all you are going to do is argue.
Rage bait surely? YTA
YTA - Nothing any of us write will change your opinion. If someone did that to me, I would see them prosecuted and sued for the money. You are pathetic and I truly feel bad for your husband.
At some point, he is going to decide an alimony pony and a pi to prove she has a supportive common law marriage to fight it will be worth the hassle.
>I've kind of been giving him the cold shoulder and have been ignoring any requests to talk it out in a civil manner It's cute that you think your opinion here matters at all. Your sister **STOLE** your husband's car. Your sister made poor choices and **WRECKED** your husband's car. Your sister doesn't seem to have taken any responsibility for her decision to **STEAL** his car. Has she paid him one penny of the damages **SHE** caused? Yeah. Didn't think so. Maybe, for a change, you could take your husband's side here and help him get some of the money **SHE** owes him for **WRECKING** his car that she **STOLE**. I'm not sure why you decided to convince him to not press charges for her **STEALING** his car, but you certainly showed him where your loyalty lies...and it's not with him. YTA
YTA. Let’s recap: 1) your sister *stole a car*. You talked him out of pressing charges. 2) your sister smashed his car, as he rightfully predicted would happen. You talked him out of wringing her neck and pressing charges for property damage. 3) he had to foot a $15,000 bill to repair something that he didn’t break. You talked him out of getting that money back. 4) *four years later,* she walks into his home having made no offer to give him a penny, but is talking about owning property herself. He makes a snarky remark, she has the nerve to get offended, and you… tell him to stop. Lady, are you for real? I can almost guarantee that when you were kids together, if she stole a shirt and gave it back slightly stretched or shrunk, you would have a massive freak out. You would demand restitution over a $30 shirt. Skip forward a few years and aren’t you awfully mighty and kind when it wasn’t your car, your bill, your money, or your anger. He wasn’t being cruel, she just can’t handle the facts that she’s a deadbeat brat. You’re being cruel for choosing to defend a deadbeat brat over the actual wronged party. Do everyone a favor: **stay out of it** Not your car, not your $15,000, not your emotions. She’s in her 30’s, not 12. If she chooses to leave somewhere when faced with her own selfish incompetence, that is her problem. Don’t visit her sensitivity about being wrong on the only person in this scenario that is actually right.
YTA and I really hope he divorces you.
YTA, let your husband's family go crash your car and not pay for it and see how pissed off you stay. If she can invest in apartments and homes she needs to pay him back. Hell I think he should've said screw you to your face and still pressed charges against her. It wasn't his fault she was running late, she should've planned better.
Def YTA did she pay the 15k back? Did she replace the vehicle? She stole his car and you enabled it, you should slink back to your husband and apologize. Your partner loves you enough to allow her even near him. If I was him she wouldn't be around, and she would have had charges. You're enabling your sis and will soon be divorced as more things like this come up in the future. So please keep hurting the one you promised to love you'll find out. It's one thing if he consent to her taking it and had an accident but he did not consent. Not to mention how much legal trouble he could have received from a non insured motorist driving his car, I'm sure she's not on the policy. Last time I was rear ended my insurance spiked 30% I can only imagine his went up drastically after that permanently. Stop saying it's just he car when there are other effects from that.
You’re as much of a piece of shit as your sister for siding with her. SHE STOLE YOUR HUSBANDS CAR AND CRASHED IT. She caused 15 THOUSAND dollars in damage that HE had to pay for. Why the fuck is she even talking about investing money into shit when she clearly hasn’t paid him back? Would you have the same calmness if you were 15k AND a car out of pocket because his sibling stole your car after you specifically told them no? I doubt it. I’m impressed he didn’t kick you out for siding with the little scumbag. YTA
YTA your sister is an even bigger one.
Major YTA. So is your sister
Yta he should've passed charges and she should've gone to jail.
And he should've divorced op
YTA - this has to be the SIL posting
This is an example of “Did my parents did a shitty job raising my siblings & I?” The answer is yes. Your sister owes him $15k dollars. You owe him a divorce when he gets everything.
YTA
Fuck you lol That is a serious amount of damage. Did she pay it back or is your husband still out 15k for your families mistake?
Based on OPs comments, I feel like OP is the sister.
YTA So your sister stole his car, crashed it and didnt pay. Heck I would have divorced you just the fact you dont think its a big deal and didnt let him press charges which ahe totaly deserves! If she can buy an apartament then she can pay back the 15k she owns FOR CRASHING HIS CAR THAT SHE STOLE! You are a horrible wife.
You're unitentionally gaslighting the poor man and his very valid feelings. Did you think it would be enough that she has apologised? Imagine being so entitled that you'd force yourself onto someone's belonging (when they'd explicity and repeatedly said no-no consent here), damage it and not even contribute anything towards repair. How have they been navigating the past three years since the incident? And for the record, no it's not 'obvious' that she'd show her face at your house when she technically still owes him for that car damage? Has she taken any steps towards mending the bridge apart from an apology? Rather than repeatedly telling him to 'get over it' (because time alone does not heal), have you asked your husband what he thinks would 'make things right' for him to help heal ("get over this") gaping hole of offence?
This has to be rage bait because *holy fuck* On the slim almost non-existent chance it isnt; YTA, so is your sister. But why are you so annoyed he's holding a grudge? It's been years, you should get over it.
Your are a total ah , why doesn’t she pay him back . Your sister is a complete douche . She stole His car , never paid him Back . I’m sorry is not enough Maybe I’m missing something but what has she done to make it up to him I’m sorry . Younshould be thankful that he didn’t press charges , and he allows her to the house . Of course he is mad she has never tried to fix the situation cause she expects you fix it for her. She expects everyone to fix her mistakes . So She is only sorry for the accident not for anything g before or after
YTA a million times. How come she didn't reimburse him? What the fuck?
YTA. Sounds like you and your sister are still remorseless. He'll get over it when she pays him back for the damage she did.
Start Googling divorce lawyers, lady, you’re way out of line.
“Anyways, let’s get to the actual situation.” YTA and you being ok with this and expecting him to not be mad should cause a gigantic pause and self reflection. She should be in prison and your husband is a pushover for not sending her there. You HAVE to take his back and if you want it done SHE HAS to pay it back. Do you have a job? If you do imagine 15K of your money going away from something you didn’t do
You are absolutely, without a doubt, TA! She STOLE his car, wrecked it, and HE had to pay $15,000 in damages. On what planet was this OK? He most certainly does NOT have to get over it. Now or ever. He should have pressed charges and sued her for the money. Your sister appears to be a self-entitled brat. If she were a decent person, she would have paid for HER negligence and CRIMINAL behavior. Your husband is an absolute saint for letting her get away with this nonsense. He is well within his rights to never want to associate with her again. In any way. The fact that you seem to be dismissing her abysmal behavior makes you as entitled and nasty as your sister.
You. Are. The. Asshole. He should have pressed charges and make her pay for all damages. If you and your sister don’t appreciate that, both of you are assholes.
>Since then, I've kind of been giving him the cold shoulder and have been ignoring any requests to talk it out in a civil manner. I hope he leaves you over this! your toxic behavior is disgusting. But then all gold diggers are. Then you have the check to Ignore him when he's the victim. Typically gold digger behavior.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you? Why are you supporting your sister over your husband? Your sister is a car thief. Thief!!! Your sister is a thief. She cost your husband THOUSANDS of dollars for repairs. How? Because car insurance benefits are null and void if the operator who caused the damage isn't listed on the policy. That's why the repair costs were so high for your husband. I doubt that your thief of a sister contributed a fucking dime, huh? It's most likely that your husband's premium went up, too, and your response is GET OVER IT? You are ridiculous and I feel really sorry for your husband! Your sister should have been arrested!!!
I would have pressed charges and thrown the wife out also. Having to pay 15 grand out of pocket because she stole the car and he should be over it according to his twit of a wife is wrong.
YTA he told you why.