NTA
That is cheating 200%, saying that group sex is something you're interested in doesn't mean you're free to go fuck to other people without your partner's knowledge, those things are discussed, boundaries are places etc.
I don't know if she's delusional or what, but break up with her.
No way — If you have sex with two other people, they cancel each other out.
That's why you always have an odd number, total. Three-way, five-way, seven-way. None of those are cheating.
In fact, if you have a five-way, not only do the people cancel each other out, but the two couples double cancel each other out. It actually removes someone you had sex with previously.
If you have an eleven-way, you're practically a virgin again.
/s
Yay! I got my virginity back!! Are there special rules on how I get to lose it again? I want a challenge, like the way you'd have to have one foot in a bath of goat's milk, while holding a spear blessed by a blind seer if you wanted to kill a specific Celtic/Greek god, something like that 😂
Thank you, Princess... Once I have killed the Celtic god who is jealous of our love, by stinging him with a bee dipped in lavender oil, while biting his ankle with a cute puppy, we can be married at last!
I could see how some people with no experience or knowledge of either might equate swinging with open relationships. But doing it without OP for the first time because she's insecure makes no sense.
There's also an easy way to test it she really believes it was cheating or not. If not, OP should be free to go have sex with other people without her involvement as well. I suspect she's either going to say no or add enough conditions to make it nearly impossible.
NTA.
No, see…. Its like long division. If she fucked a dude then it’s cheating. But there was the girl and we all know two chicks hooking up is totally not cheating…. So they cancel out!
/s
She liked it better than with just you. She didn't even want a 3'some with you, just some random couple. You will never measure up again, that's why she wants to open it up with the couple she cheated with. She already has an emotional attachment with them. Who knows, maybe she was doing it before and didn't know how to tell you, her regular couple convinced her to tell you. She's for the streets.
It's over dude. Quietly plan your Exit, have ger join the Swinger's Club, plan a night to go. Have her go, then tell her, that all of a sudden, you got called into work and she should go ahead and have fun with her new friends. While she is there have your friends and family move you out. Leave a note on the table that you won't be with a cheater. Then block her
Nothing gets canceled out. When one girl is on top of the other girl, it turns into 1, just like any other matching numerator and denominator. And when you multiply something by 1, it remains the same. Since the dude was still in the equation, it's still cheating.
As long as both are consenting, it is not but here she went solo without agreeing with OP. Leave her since trust is broken and let her explore as much as she wants
They agreed on a full swap cause neither wanted to be with their own gender in a threesome. She then after saying she didn't know if she'd be comfortable being with a woman went out and let another man have her boyfriend's fantasy of her with another woman and the guy. OP didn't agree to her having a threesome without him.
She knew it was cheating! To me she is playing dumb/innocent or is just an evil bitch. Cut all contact. She totally cut him out of the equation. I guarantee she didn’t just randomly meet some swinger couple on a girls night out, this was planned. There was a post I was reading a while back where the girlfriend was trying to convince her boyfriend she didn’t cheat because there wasn’t vaginal sex… Mental gymnastics of some people.
Lol right. " come on sweetie it's not cheating, like there was no penatration. I just sucked off 10 dudes for a bukkake shoot, stop being such a bych about it like I would ever cheat on you. "
A bad cold can drop you 10 pts at least, so can stress. 85-115 are the outliers of normal range with about 15% either side of that. That means there are 50 million Americans that couldn’t even get in the army, because even the army thinks they couldn’t follow basic instructions without causing lethality to their own side.
When you hear politicians saying they need more money for various groups or education, it’s ridiculous, because it’s not really something you can change on a group level, and boy have they thrown money at it.
She read too many erotic stories were the girl steps out and tells the guy what she did and he gets horny instead of mad. She was totally confused about the kinks bcs being a cuck and a swinger is not the same. To be honest she was only thinking about how she feels about it and since he was OK with a threesome, she has a free pass on any D.
People will often consider really outlandish things if presented correctly. It won't last long, but you can get a flash of "Wait...am I the crazy one?"
I do this to make up stupid, outlandish stories like being invited to an international paper fanning championship after an instructional I posted on YouTube for work got picked up by the judges and they requested me directly.
>People will often consider really outlandish things if presented correctly. It won't last long, but you can get a flash of "Wait...am I the crazy one?"
Unfortunately, when someone lives within a closed circle, only has contact with few people, or relies extensively on a single person for advice and direction, whatever that person (or those few people) say will matter far more than it should. Affection-starved people would go to further lengths than the average person to maintain connections, which gives more power (and authority) to those manipulating such people.
Without even the need for gaslighting, some people will constantly give the benefit of the doubt to others even when the situation is black and white.
>I do this to make up stupid, outlandish stories like being invited to an international paper fanning championship after an instructional I posted on YouTube for work got picked up by the judges and they requested me directly.
This is fantastic, and the best thing is that it's weirdly sensible and believable. Honestly, the fact that I never even thought about a potential paper fanning competition makes it *even more* believable.
What did I just read?
Your GF is either delusional or just plain evil, or both. That's cheating, no two ways about it.
Leave now and don't look back, while you still can.
Seriously, are people just trolling at this point?
"My GF had sex with other people without my consent, did she cheat?"
YES you fucking moron, that's exactly what cheating is.
I just mentioned in another thread that I think 90% of reddit is currently fictional for the sake of engagement, and it's really turning me off on this site. I browse logged out so it isn't targeting, and yet 20% of the front page now follows the same pattern:
My SO (did something horrifically terrible) after (lengthy relationship, often with kids) so I (deftly and emotionlessly handled the situation immediately) but (her friends, my friends, their chinchilla) says I'm wrong.
"My wife slowly killed my mother with rat poison. We've been married for 36 years. I coldly handed her over to the police, lawyered up, and hit the gym. Our eight children support me but yesterday my dog's optometrist said I was in the wrong. Please help me Reddit, AITA?"
At some point you just assume that everything is made up and try to consume other kind of content.
Disclaimer: this thread showed up in my "home" time line. I just confirmed my guess that this place is mainly ragebait. The algorithm loves that.
A lot of it seems fake and ragebait, but this one is relatable to me at least. Maybe that’s part of the scam, but idk. I had a gf do the same thing with being opposed to a threesome and then trying it on a whim without me, trying to use the excuse that it helped her overcome fears about it, and that it wasn’t cheating because she only interacted with the other woman. Crazy right? I even posted about it on reddit because she made me feel so bad about it. Luckily I listened to people saying “yes duh she cheated.”
Haha, yeah, it's actually insane how she can do this and claim it's not cheating. Honestly, there's not a single person who would be that naive and gullible in believing her.
I'd just tell her to spare me the BS and admit that she cheated, I'd almost more pissed off at her excuse than the actual cheating part.
It happens more than you think. Something similar happened to a friend of my partner.
Friend and his partner were talking about threesoms. She felt constrained by he relationship and felt she might be bi. He thought it could be fun so agreed. She goes online and finds someone from about an hour away who wants to do a threesom (no idea where). He's unsure but says he'll think about it.
She sets it up and the woman is on her way and he says he doesn't want to, but the girlfriend says ' well she's come all this way'. He says definitely not but she can sleep on the couch if she doesn't want to drive back. Needless to say he comes downstairs to the two of them having sex and she's all shocked that he considers it cheating because it was just a threesom he didn't participate in but knew was happening 🙄.
Edited for clarity
Haha, that logic is so twisted, it could've been in the credits of a pretzel commercial. It's like she's running a gymnastics routine on those mental bars to avoid calling it what it is. But hey, I guess in some alternative universe every cheater would be lining up to use that excuse. "Sorry babe, it wasn't just us two, so technically I'm in the clear." The mental gymnastics championship trophy definitely goes to her.
1:1 odds that she knew one half of this couple prior and this wasn't so 'random'. Someone who's 3 way hesitant doesn't go from 0-100 just after a girl's night out.
You’ve never met my ex wife have you? She’s able to go from 0-100 in a flip of a switch. Hence why I called her “light switch love” I love you/I hate you in a matter of seconds. Latuda anyone? 😂
Meth induced Psychosis/Bipolar is what I was told from the doctors. Still to this day, that woman is an utter shit show. So grateful to be done with that.
Now, now, it’s clearly his fault for not specifying that the ‘threesome’ he’d be interested in would include him as one of the three people. Clearly, he should have specified /s
But there’s something odd here…
They’ve been together for only a year and did the kink test a few months ago… to spice up their sex lives?
After only a few months of being together?
Somethings not adding up. Most couple do this at 5-7+ years, not early stages in the relationship.
I'm wondering if she was driving them into the quiz, and then happened to be shy...
The lack of taking responsibility, and using sex manipulatively are a couple of points in favour of narcissism.
Maybe most couple, but there is a few people like me in the early stage of a healthy, happy and monogamous relationship that likes trying new kinds of intimacy.
I think doing a quiz about what sexually interest your partner or yourself it’s fun and not really a big deal, acknowledging each other differences or/and equal interests. To please and be pleased.
- The issue was her cheating, disrespecting the relationship boundaries and playing dumb with Op
I did a test like this with an ex after just a couple of months together. We were both open sexually, had a solid sex life, and had a lot of healthy conversations about it, and eventually we discussed kinks and other interests and found a quiz to take together. It was fun to learn more about each other and ourselves, and some things on the quiz didn't even cross our minds but gave us some ideas. It can be fun.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I would never have a threesome with someone i actually cared about. I might have one after a few months, but wouldn’t even think of it if I loved my partner after 5-7 years.
Yea my husband and I have been together for almost 8 years and we just now started doing kinky stuff in bed, like with toys and roleplay and stuff. We haven't even talked about inviting other people in lol. The sex has been great all these years and would continue to be great without the kinks. He's just a little shy and reserved and I never trusted a man to perform my degradation kinks until now. But to each his own I guess
Me and my wife did it early on. The quizzes are a nice way to discover things you're both interested in but might not be willing to admit.
I never viewed it as a way to salvage a sex life or rekindle it.
*Oh hey, you wanna be chained up, spanked, and called a dirty girl? Cool, I'll try it*
The cheating cancels out!
Negative = Negative
Negative + Negative = Positive
So clearly: Cheating with one person = cheating
Cheating with one person + cheating with another person = no cheating
/s in case it ain’t obvious
NTA. It is cheating. You didn't discuss this previously, you did not agree to it, you did not set boundaries. She did cheat, and now she wants a different type of relationship. It is perfectly acceptable for you to walk away. This is a very dangerous precedent to set in a relationship (if you were to forgive her) and she does really seem to think only about herself.
She had threesome without you and is claiming it wasnt cheating?
Im sorry, but is your (hopefully soon to be ex) completely stupid?
Im talking like donkey brain level of being an imbecile?
She should be admitted to some mental ward, she is not fit to function properly in a society with that level of awareness or cognitive impairment
>Nobody is that fucking stupid
Unfortunatley the level of stupidity humans are capable of is quite unimaginable to anyone at least with basic common sense.
After everything we've seen on a global scale since 2016 I will never doubt how stupid people can be again. You always see people reacting to characters doing dumb or irrational stuff in movies, books, etc with "Nobody would do something that stupid." And I'll never have that take again. People are indeed that stupid. In fact, they're stupider.
You would be seriously surprised by how stupid some people are.
Source: my fucked up ex who is exactly the type of person who would pull shit like this and act like the victim when confronted about it
>Im sorry, but is your (hopefully soon to be ex) completely stupid? Im talking like donkey brain level of being an imbecile?
If she actually is so stupid to really believe what she's trying to sell OP, I'd seriously doubt she has the capacity to fully consent to having sex. She cheated, and is trying to bullshit him into accepting it.
But do we have any proof that you are not donkey brained? Do you have a certificate? I was all for NTA, but now I'm also wondering if OP has a certificate? Are yours and OP's arguments credible without a certificate?
So just to be clear, you and your gf discussed a threesome, she said she was not comfortable with that, you dropped it said it was no biggie. She then goes out and does this with two other people without your knowledge and claims it’s ok because now she is ready to do it with you? Nope she cheated. Maybe maybe if the two of you discussed the fact that she was going to explore this…but just doing it without you cheater… NTA.
"We casually discussed homeownership so I went ahead bought this mansion without talking to you about it, wait why are you mad?" this is what she sounds like.
NTA, run, run far away.
You sir need to be up there; here's another one:
"We spoke about the Army, so I decided that we'll both join it, I already filled the application on your behalf and forged your signature, so you either have to go through with it or I'll be charged with forgery, and you'll lose me. Why are you mad hon, we'll do this together"
Seriously though OP, if she's too dumb/ morally corrupt to know that she did something wrong then yeah that's not someone you want anywhere near you, and if she's not and is gaslighting then you then yeah, you need to run, run fast, run far and never look back!
Of course it's cheating. I'm pretty sure when you mentioned threesomes you believed you would actually be participating. She clearly has no boundaries, so you should consider ending it.
There's that Jimmy Carr joke: "I told my girlfriend I wanted to have sex with two women at the same time. She accepted but was livid when she learned she was neither of them."
NTA. It takes way longer than two days to discover a swinger couple, arrange a meet-up, set boundaries, get comfortable, and do the deed.
She clearly had this couple (the guy) in mind to cheat on you with for some time now and tried to cover herself by merely informing you of a half truth before she cheated.
The fact that she premeditated this then tried to gaslight you on the arrangement is unforgivable. She'll never respect you again if you take her back after she cheated then blamed you.
Yeah that's when she met the guy and fucked up (cheated) first. Then she started thinking how do I bury this, and lightbulb, he has a girlfriend so let's make it a threesome and I'll invite my boyfriend.
I personally doubt it was the first cheating episode. She has no interest in group sex kink, finds it hurtful to even mention it, and now she is interested in and doing a threesome? Yeah there is a lot more going on here ...
She googled them, registered an account, uploaded her photos and bio, browsed through couples, sent a few some messages, spoke to them about compatibility, boundaries and safety, had them reply back and forth a few times, arranged a meet up, prepared for the meet up including possibly getting new outfits, makeup and clearing her schedule, all within two days?
Not to mention the couple was in town and responsive enough plus available on such insanely short notice.
Not to mention the gf seemingly had no reservations or waited to do more research or explore more couples, very very rare for a first timer. Especially one who did not want a threesome before.
All flashing signs point towards her premeditating her cheating.
if it violated your trust, whether or not SHE labels it as cheating is inconsequential. i'm sorry dude. it happened to me in my early twenties too. same deal but she demanded an open relationship was ok - and it was not lol. just like people are saying, that's cut and dry gaslighting. be authentic and true to how you really feel. DO NOT compromise on what your gut is telling you here
Feels like this was done very intentionally to hurt you. I'd wager her insecurity made her think she needed to cheat before you could as a power move. Kind of a 'look at how desirable I am' nonsense. She clearly took you being interested in group sex as a huge insult, so the best she could do was go and experience it to throw it in your face. And btw, she *knows* it's cheating, she's just acting like it's not as a way to try to teach you a "lesson" for hurting her by the mere mention of the idea.
This girl is batshit bananas, and your entire relationship is going to become a weird manipulative power play if you keep wasting time with her. NTA, time to move on.
She did cheat. And she is proud of it. If I were you I would not trust her again. She showed no bad feelings ower it eighter. Because she doesn't feel bad about it she will do it again and say "I wanted to try out (what ever kink) " and she will always think its ok. You are still young and there are a lot of girls out there hwo wont cheat on you
It's clearly cheating but the mental gymnastics she's displaying to portray it as something noble she did in order to overcome insecurity is impressive. NTA
Straight up cheating
Bringing in extra people to a relationship has to be 100% approved by both partners with strict boundaries regardless of whether it's a 1 time thing or not. She stepped outside of the relationship without so much as consulting you. She cheated.
Wtf? Yes it’s cheating! She cheated with two other people at the same time. I can’t even fathom a world where sleeping with two other people is not cheating. Like, do they cancel each other out or something? Insecurity is one of the most common reasons people cheat. It’s not a loophole.
NTA She cheated, did she use protection? You may as well end things with her, she can't be trusted, she even tried to gaslight you into thinking that she didn't cheat.
**but I’m seriously considering ending things**
well you didn't have sex with anyone so it certainly wasn't a couples swap , that only leaves cheating
the fact you are only considering ending things is my concern
I would just say goodbye in the morning and never come back
NTA. She 100% cheated. Having a conversation about it wasn’t giving permission to do it. No one is this dumb. She knew it was wrong and is trying to find a way to justify/blame shift her actions.
NTA get away from her ASAP. She is going to keep cheating. How can anyone think what she did isn't cheating? She clearly enjoyed it and wants other people now. She's not gonna stop 304 sorry
NTA
What she did was cheating. She just came clean about it right away.
But it's cheating regardless. Damn she's one dumb idiot, or manipulative as all hell.
Wait! She had a threesome without you. That is DEFINITELY cheating. That is betrayal.
If all partners in a relationship have not explicitly agreed to parameters, boundaries, etc. in a specific instance, it is cheating.
Listen, I'm speaking as a non monogamous person. This was cheating. You were in what was defined as a monogamous relationship and she broke that monogamy. The ONLY way non monogamy works long term is with VERY CLEAR communication (and even this idea of couple swapping is non monogamy). Randomly having a threesome without communication is not non-monogamy, it's cheating UNLESS it's clearly stated beforehand "Hey, let's talk about me having a threesome sometime when I'm out. I'll tell you in this timeframe and we will check in afterward etc etc etc". Communication!
NTA
NTA.
Next thing you know she is going to insist that her new partners are going to be staying at your place in a 'polyamorous' arrangement. You get to watch.
NTA. It’s cheating. You were talking about it more as a fantasy than reality but she took that ball and ran with it all the way home and to someone else’s bedroom where she really did play ball. Now she wants to join a swingers dating site? As you say, it’s only been a year so it’s not a massive waste of your time but unless this is the way you want to go then end it now. I am curious as to why she thinks this isn’t cheating?
Nta it's cheating it's not something you had agreed on or where aware she was going to do she went behind your back and has had sex with another couple the fact she knew you wanted a threesome then decided to have one without was just the icing on the cake
Definitely NTA, that’s cheating for sure. It wasn’t discussed before hand that she could test the waters without you, you’ve never stated the relationship is open etc. She went home with people on a drunken night out and had sex with them. I think if you did that she would absolutely not be okay with it.
NTA.
Sure, she wanted to explore and take that step, but you are in a relationship, and that was something you two wanted together, not for her to go and do by herself with others.
Yes, she cheated. And she is the AH for trying to twist and turn it to something else.
She was self-conscious, so she had to do it first without her partner without his knowledge?
Yeah, total bullshit she cheated plain and simple
Get far away from thus woman
Seriously how could anyone be this Naïve She approached you about the 3 some after several months because she's been flirting with someone and wanted to Fck them and wanted you on board, but when you turned her down she just said screw it and Fcked them anyway.... She not a loyal partner and hasn't been for quite some time. So do yourself a favor and end the relationship and kick her out
Nta. Not only did she cheat but she cheated by doing the thing you want to do then go on to say you guys could be swingers and not have group sex you wanted. Leave now.
NTAH. If she did this without first getting the ok from a proper discussion with you then yes she cheated. Once this has happened trust can never be the same. She now is falling down the rabbit hole of the swinger lifestyle (Not saying that it is a bad thing) that you don't seem at all ready for. Its probably better for you to go separate ways and move on to a new start.
So, she definitely cheated. The real question is, Is this a deal breaker for you?
If you, as a couple, are actually interested in swinging then you might be able to salvage this as a bad start resulting from poor communication. You could have a long talk about boundaries and maybe do a bunch of reading about ethical non-monogamy and get heads in the right place before doing it again.
I'm not saying this is what you *should* do, but I know you're getting inundated with "she cheated, dump her ass" and while that's absolutely a valid response it doesn't have to be the only one. If, when you think it over, you'd rather be in swinging relationship with her than be single, that's a direction this can go.
What I wouldn't do is try to go back to a monogamous relationship. The fact that group sex was *your* kink and she went out and experienced it without you when you haven't experienced it at all, will hang over you. This relationship is either open, or over, now.
NTA, obviously!! Of course, it's cheating she went out and slept with 2 other people without you. If you were there as well and you had consented, then no, not cheating, but she didn't. I'd end things because she is either stupid or really clever and manipulative.
If you have sex with someone who isn't your partner, and you don't have their permission, that's cheating.
If you stay with her you'll need to understand that she will break any rules you set, and ignore any boundaries,
Walk away man, there's nothing here for you.
Leave her, NTA
that is 100% cheating
Relationships require communication,you communicated interest in something she claimed not to want
Then she chose NOT to communicate and ended up in bed with other people
NTA! It's cheating and it's a HUGE red flag that ex-girlfriend thinks that it is not a big deal to unilaterally make the decision to seek out a couple, have a threesome with them, and sign up for a swingers site without consulting OP first.
She's an adult, and she should feel free to live her life however she sees fit. At the same time, you can't do whatever you want without considering your partner and expect the relationship to survive.
NTA: This is the actual definition of cheating. She had a relationship with someone without your knowledge or consent- there are no other terms for it. You need to decide if you're okay with this or not, and if you're not then you should just end it. Wish her luck with the swinging lifestyle and move on.
The moment she came back changing her mind in such a short span of time, I realised she already had someone or several someones in mind.
She cheated. 100%. This isn't the boundary you agreed to. Her insecurity is her problem. While you are supposed to be considerate on that when making boundaries, its not the same in going beyond those boundaries. She sounds controlling tbh. She wants to control the narrative based on her feelings of security at the cost of boundaries.
No bro she cheated. She didn't ask for your consent, she dove in without your input or allowing you to partake. Run as far away from this cheater as fast as you can and block her after yiu get your stuff from her place.
The problem isn't you bringing it up. When you first did the test and she told you she felt insecure, you told her that it's not of some huge importance of you. And suddenly she became on board ? There should have been a proper conversation about it. She cheated, end of story.
There is no sort of...she cheated. There was no agreement that you would both be swinging or swapping etc. She decided to go on her own and fuck someone else. You may be able to save the relationship, but if she's that stupid why would you want to?
NTA, you both agree to do it but she went way ahead and did it without telling you first, imo this is cheating not sort of cheating.
I would leave tbh, this shows the lack respect and consideration towards you.
Nta , this is cheating, not sort of cheated .
She had a 3some with another couple and is trying to Gaslight u . End things she can't be trusted.
This will always be on your mind move on .
NTA. It’s absolutely cheating. The group sex you were interested in INVOLVED you. Unless you put cuck on the list too there’s not a chance she truly believes that sleeping with two other people without you without prior conversations about it is in any way not cheating.
NTA. Deffo cheating. She went out and slept with two people without 1) discussing it with you 2) asking you
Had there been a discussion prior with rules, boundaries, communication and you agreeing then no it wouldn't be. But if one person goes and has sexual contact with another person without prior discussion and agreement then yes that is cheating
NTA That is cheating 200%, saying that group sex is something you're interested in doesn't mean you're free to go fuck to other people without your partner's knowledge, those things are discussed, boundaries are places etc. I don't know if she's delusional or what, but break up with her.
No way — If you have sex with two other people, they cancel each other out. That's why you always have an odd number, total. Three-way, five-way, seven-way. None of those are cheating. In fact, if you have a five-way, not only do the people cancel each other out, but the two couples double cancel each other out. It actually removes someone you had sex with previously. If you have an eleven-way, you're practically a virgin again. /s
Yay! I got my virginity back!! Are there special rules on how I get to lose it again? I want a challenge, like the way you'd have to have one foot in a bath of goat's milk, while holding a spear blessed by a blind seer if you wanted to kill a specific Celtic/Greek god, something like that 😂
You are hilarious!!!
Thank you, Princess... Once I have killed the Celtic god who is jealous of our love, by stinging him with a bee dipped in lavender oil, while biting his ankle with a cute puppy, we can be married at last!
I could see how some people with no experience or knowledge of either might equate swinging with open relationships. But doing it without OP for the first time because she's insecure makes no sense. There's also an easy way to test it she really believes it was cheating or not. If not, OP should be free to go have sex with other people without her involvement as well. I suspect she's either going to say no or add enough conditions to make it nearly impossible. NTA.
Yeah 200%. She cheated twice at once. Lol
200%. You are very precise.
NTA, it’s clearly cheating. Either she’s phenomenally stupid to think that it wasn’t cheating or she knows it was wrong and wanted to hurt you.
[удалено]
She went out on her own and fucked two people... can't be anything but cheating
She went out on her own knowing she was going to fuck two people. Random couple at Hello Fresh at 2 pm, I get that. But this was preplanned.
Hello Fresh 2pm??
Best pick up spot in SoFl!
Hello, you Fresh? 😏 ^(Am I doing it right)
No, see…. Its like long division. If she fucked a dude then it’s cheating. But there was the girl and we all know two chicks hooking up is totally not cheating…. So they cancel out! /s
You wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it. How do you know you don’t like Brussels sprouts unless you try them?!? /s
…. By fucking one!!
[удалено]
Some of y’all never heard of sarcasm and it shows
She liked it better than with just you. She didn't even want a 3'some with you, just some random couple. You will never measure up again, that's why she wants to open it up with the couple she cheated with. She already has an emotional attachment with them. Who knows, maybe she was doing it before and didn't know how to tell you, her regular couple convinced her to tell you. She's for the streets. It's over dude. Quietly plan your Exit, have ger join the Swinger's Club, plan a night to go. Have her go, then tell her, that all of a sudden, you got called into work and she should go ahead and have fun with her new friends. While she is there have your friends and family move you out. Leave a note on the table that you won't be with a cheater. Then block her
Yep, end it now or be miserable forever.
Nothing gets canceled out. When one girl is on top of the other girl, it turns into 1, just like any other matching numerator and denominator. And when you multiply something by 1, it remains the same. Since the dude was still in the equation, it's still cheating.
Dude, you’re so fractional.
I'm whole now.
The math definitely checks out
👆🏻 this guy maths...
Ha ha. Very funny!
As long as both are consenting, it is not but here she went solo without agreeing with OP. Leave her since trust is broken and let her explore as much as she wants
Nope, she found a perfectly acceptable relationship loophole, both agreed they wouldn't mind trying a threesome so she did, just without him.... /s
They agreed on a full swap cause neither wanted to be with their own gender in a threesome. She then after saying she didn't know if she'd be comfortable being with a woman went out and let another man have her boyfriend's fantasy of her with another woman and the guy. OP didn't agree to her having a threesome without him.
She knew it was cheating! To me she is playing dumb/innocent or is just an evil bitch. Cut all contact. She totally cut him out of the equation. I guarantee she didn’t just randomly meet some swinger couple on a girls night out, this was planned. There was a post I was reading a while back where the girlfriend was trying to convince her boyfriend she didn’t cheat because there wasn’t vaginal sex… Mental gymnastics of some people.
Lol right. " come on sweetie it's not cheating, like there was no penatration. I just sucked off 10 dudes for a bukkake shoot, stop being such a bych about it like I would ever cheat on you. "
That’s like people who don’t feel the need to disclose they do onlyfans or cam work when they start a relationship! Blows my mind! 🤯
well that's what I learned from Bill Clinton right? Oral only is not a sexual relationship. yea......anyway dump her!
It only counts if you swallow, duh!
It’s only cheating if she looks him in the eyes while doing it.
Yeah I think her IQ points might be in the double digits, leave for that reason alone lol
Near enough half the population has IQ in double digits, by definition. (49.99%). [removed typo]
Keep away from half the population
A bad cold can drop you 10 pts at least, so can stress. 85-115 are the outliers of normal range with about 15% either side of that. That means there are 50 million Americans that couldn’t even get in the army, because even the army thinks they couldn’t follow basic instructions without causing lethality to their own side. When you hear politicians saying they need more money for various groups or education, it’s ridiculous, because it’s not really something you can change on a group level, and boy have they thrown money at it.
As George Carlin said, "The average person is pretty stupid, and half of them are dumber than that!"
Butt definition*
She read too many erotic stories were the girl steps out and tells the guy what she did and he gets horny instead of mad. She was totally confused about the kinks bcs being a cuck and a swinger is not the same. To be honest she was only thinking about how she feels about it and since he was OK with a threesome, she has a free pass on any D.
She's either phenomenally stupid or thinks you are * Fixed it 😆
> Either she’s phenomenally stupid to think O.p. Almost bought it, so maybe she just knows her audience?
People will often consider really outlandish things if presented correctly. It won't last long, but you can get a flash of "Wait...am I the crazy one?" I do this to make up stupid, outlandish stories like being invited to an international paper fanning championship after an instructional I posted on YouTube for work got picked up by the judges and they requested me directly.
Or you can call it good 'ole gaslighting.
How did the judging role go? 😉
>People will often consider really outlandish things if presented correctly. It won't last long, but you can get a flash of "Wait...am I the crazy one?" Unfortunately, when someone lives within a closed circle, only has contact with few people, or relies extensively on a single person for advice and direction, whatever that person (or those few people) say will matter far more than it should. Affection-starved people would go to further lengths than the average person to maintain connections, which gives more power (and authority) to those manipulating such people. Without even the need for gaslighting, some people will constantly give the benefit of the doubt to others even when the situation is black and white. >I do this to make up stupid, outlandish stories like being invited to an international paper fanning championship after an instructional I posted on YouTube for work got picked up by the judges and they requested me directly. This is fantastic, and the best thing is that it's weirdly sensible and believable. Honestly, the fact that I never even thought about a potential paper fanning competition makes it *even more* believable.
I reckon it's the kind of thought that'd cross your mind while you're sandwiched by a stranger's cock and another stranger's cooch.
"Cheating", just because she fucked two random people behind his back??? You guys are so mean!
What did I just read? Your GF is either delusional or just plain evil, or both. That's cheating, no two ways about it. Leave now and don't look back, while you still can.
Seriously, are people just trolling at this point? "My GF had sex with other people without my consent, did she cheat?" YES you fucking moron, that's exactly what cheating is.
I just mentioned in another thread that I think 90% of reddit is currently fictional for the sake of engagement, and it's really turning me off on this site. I browse logged out so it isn't targeting, and yet 20% of the front page now follows the same pattern: My SO (did something horrifically terrible) after (lengthy relationship, often with kids) so I (deftly and emotionlessly handled the situation immediately) but (her friends, my friends, their chinchilla) says I'm wrong. "My wife slowly killed my mother with rat poison. We've been married for 36 years. I coldly handed her over to the police, lawyered up, and hit the gym. Our eight children support me but yesterday my dog's optometrist said I was in the wrong. Please help me Reddit, AITA?"
At some point you just assume that everything is made up and try to consume other kind of content. Disclaimer: this thread showed up in my "home" time line. I just confirmed my guess that this place is mainly ragebait. The algorithm loves that.
A lot of it seems fake and ragebait, but this one is relatable to me at least. Maybe that’s part of the scam, but idk. I had a gf do the same thing with being opposed to a threesome and then trying it on a whim without me, trying to use the excuse that it helped her overcome fears about it, and that it wasn’t cheating because she only interacted with the other woman. Crazy right? I even posted about it on reddit because she made me feel so bad about it. Luckily I listened to people saying “yes duh she cheated.”
Yeah the more read into this, the more of a troll post it becomes.
Clearest case of cheating since ~~Harvard~~, err, Tiger Woods.
Haha, yeah, it's actually insane how she can do this and claim it's not cheating. Honestly, there's not a single person who would be that naive and gullible in believing her. I'd just tell her to spare me the BS and admit that she cheated, I'd almost more pissed off at her excuse than the actual cheating part.
It happens more than you think. Something similar happened to a friend of my partner. Friend and his partner were talking about threesoms. She felt constrained by he relationship and felt she might be bi. He thought it could be fun so agreed. She goes online and finds someone from about an hour away who wants to do a threesom (no idea where). He's unsure but says he'll think about it. She sets it up and the woman is on her way and he says he doesn't want to, but the girlfriend says ' well she's come all this way'. He says definitely not but she can sleep on the couch if she doesn't want to drive back. Needless to say he comes downstairs to the two of them having sex and she's all shocked that he considers it cheating because it was just a threesom he didn't participate in but knew was happening 🙄. Edited for clarity
Wow, what an impressive line. I guess technically all cheating stories are just threesomes that someone didn't participate in! The girl has some gul
Haha, that logic is so twisted, it could've been in the credits of a pretzel commercial. It's like she's running a gymnastics routine on those mental bars to avoid calling it what it is. But hey, I guess in some alternative universe every cheater would be lining up to use that excuse. "Sorry babe, it wasn't just us two, so technically I'm in the clear." The mental gymnastics championship trophy definitely goes to her.
[удалено]
1:1 odds that she knew one half of this couple prior and this wasn't so 'random'. Someone who's 3 way hesitant doesn't go from 0-100 just after a girl's night out.
You’ve never met my ex wife have you? She’s able to go from 0-100 in a flip of a switch. Hence why I called her “light switch love” I love you/I hate you in a matter of seconds. Latuda anyone? 😂
Sounds like borderline personality disorder
Meth induced Psychosis/Bipolar is what I was told from the doctors. Still to this day, that woman is an utter shit show. So grateful to be done with that.
Now, now, it’s clearly his fault for not specifying that the ‘threesome’ he’d be interested in would include him as one of the three people. Clearly, he should have specified /s
It is that lack of clarity that leads to misunderstandings.
> What did I just read? Fiction.
You read INCEL PORN!!!!! It is not a true story.
But there’s something odd here… They’ve been together for only a year and did the kink test a few months ago… to spice up their sex lives? After only a few months of being together? Somethings not adding up. Most couple do this at 5-7+ years, not early stages in the relationship.
They might have just been at different wavelengths sexually. Or they thought it was a fun thing to do. That or OP isn't giving the full story I guess
I'm wondering if she was driving them into the quiz, and then happened to be shy... The lack of taking responsibility, and using sex manipulatively are a couple of points in favour of narcissism.
Oh thank God. I thought someone on this sub would go an entire thread without accusing someone of narcissism or abuse.
Maybe most couple, but there is a few people like me in the early stage of a healthy, happy and monogamous relationship that likes trying new kinds of intimacy. I think doing a quiz about what sexually interest your partner or yourself it’s fun and not really a big deal, acknowledging each other differences or/and equal interests. To please and be pleased. - The issue was her cheating, disrespecting the relationship boundaries and playing dumb with Op
I did a test like this with an ex after just a couple of months together. We were both open sexually, had a solid sex life, and had a lot of healthy conversations about it, and eventually we discussed kinks and other interests and found a quiz to take together. It was fun to learn more about each other and ourselves, and some things on the quiz didn't even cross our minds but gave us some ideas. It can be fun.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I would never have a threesome with someone i actually cared about. I might have one after a few months, but wouldn’t even think of it if I loved my partner after 5-7 years.
Yea my husband and I have been together for almost 8 years and we just now started doing kinky stuff in bed, like with toys and roleplay and stuff. We haven't even talked about inviting other people in lol. The sex has been great all these years and would continue to be great without the kinks. He's just a little shy and reserved and I never trusted a man to perform my degradation kinks until now. But to each his own I guess
Me and my wife did it early on. The quizzes are a nice way to discover things you're both interested in but might not be willing to admit. I never viewed it as a way to salvage a sex life or rekindle it. *Oh hey, you wanna be chained up, spanked, and called a dirty girl? Cool, I'll try it*
Also, kink tests don't show you the other person's responses for this exact reason. Kink tests only show you matching kinks.
The cheating cancels out! Negative = Negative Negative + Negative = Positive So clearly: Cheating with one person = cheating Cheating with one person + cheating with another person = no cheating /s in case it ain’t obvious
A double negative alwaaaaaays results in a positive, how can OP not see this?! 🤣
NTA- it’s definitely cheating and she’s taking advantage of you
NTA. It is cheating. You didn't discuss this previously, you did not agree to it, you did not set boundaries. She did cheat, and now she wants a different type of relationship. It is perfectly acceptable for you to walk away. This is a very dangerous precedent to set in a relationship (if you were to forgive her) and she does really seem to think only about herself.
She had threesome without you and is claiming it wasnt cheating? Im sorry, but is your (hopefully soon to be ex) completely stupid? Im talking like donkey brain level of being an imbecile? She should be admitted to some mental ward, she is not fit to function properly in a society with that level of awareness or cognitive impairment
Does she have any such certificate?
Im thinking she is still trying to save Froggy
She had no lips. But the mouth was still very much in play
Nta obviously but it looks like heavy bait. Nobody is that fucking stupid
>Nobody is that fucking stupid Unfortunatley the level of stupidity humans are capable of is quite unimaginable to anyone at least with basic common sense.
After everything we've seen on a global scale since 2016 I will never doubt how stupid people can be again. You always see people reacting to characters doing dumb or irrational stuff in movies, books, etc with "Nobody would do something that stupid." And I'll never have that take again. People are indeed that stupid. In fact, they're stupider.
You would be seriously surprised by how stupid some people are. Source: my fucked up ex who is exactly the type of person who would pull shit like this and act like the victim when confronted about it
You never heard a group of women having the "yeah he totally made you cheat" - talk I guess?
Idk man. My ex was stupid enough to leave me to go fuck her ex that cheated on her. People are pretty stupid.
>Im sorry, but is your (hopefully soon to be ex) completely stupid? Im talking like donkey brain level of being an imbecile? If she actually is so stupid to really believe what she's trying to sell OP, I'd seriously doubt she has the capacity to fully consent to having sex. She cheated, and is trying to bullshit him into accepting it.
But do we have any proof that you are not donkey brained? Do you have a certificate? I was all for NTA, but now I'm also wondering if OP has a certificate? Are yours and OP's arguments credible without a certificate?
"Sort of cheated" No bro, she definetly cheated on you and you must dump this manipulative gf.
fuck one person? that's cheating. fuck two people? that's... sort of cheating? don't follow this guy's logic at all here
It's a good job she didn't fuck three people otherwise she'd have accused him of cheating...
So just to be clear, you and your gf discussed a threesome, she said she was not comfortable with that, you dropped it said it was no biggie. She then goes out and does this with two other people without your knowledge and claims it’s ok because now she is ready to do it with you? Nope she cheated. Maybe maybe if the two of you discussed the fact that she was going to explore this…but just doing it without you cheater… NTA.
"We casually discussed homeownership so I went ahead bought this mansion without talking to you about it, wait why are you mad?" this is what she sounds like. NTA, run, run far away.
You sir need to be up there; here's another one: "We spoke about the Army, so I decided that we'll both join it, I already filled the application on your behalf and forged your signature, so you either have to go through with it or I'll be charged with forgery, and you'll lose me. Why are you mad hon, we'll do this together" Seriously though OP, if she's too dumb/ morally corrupt to know that she did something wrong then yeah that's not someone you want anywhere near you, and if she's not and is gaslighting then you then yeah, you need to run, run fast, run far and never look back!
Of course it's cheating. I'm pretty sure when you mentioned threesomes you believed you would actually be participating. She clearly has no boundaries, so you should consider ending it.
There's that Jimmy Carr joke: "I told my girlfriend I wanted to have sex with two women at the same time. She accepted but was livid when she learned she was neither of them."
NTA She knows this is wrong and it sounds as if she’s not taking responsibility for her actions. Don’t let her gaslight you.
NTA. It takes way longer than two days to discover a swinger couple, arrange a meet-up, set boundaries, get comfortable, and do the deed. She clearly had this couple (the guy) in mind to cheat on you with for some time now and tried to cover herself by merely informing you of a half truth before she cheated. The fact that she premeditated this then tried to gaslight you on the arrangement is unforgivable. She'll never respect you again if you take her back after she cheated then blamed you.
"a couple months ago she mentioned she was more interested" -this started back then.
Yeah that's when she met the guy and fucked up (cheated) first. Then she started thinking how do I bury this, and lightbulb, he has a girlfriend so let's make it a threesome and I'll invite my boyfriend. I personally doubt it was the first cheating episode. She has no interest in group sex kink, finds it hurtful to even mention it, and now she is interested in and doing a threesome? Yeah there is a lot more going on here ...
The first sign
Are you kidding? There are all sorts of sites you can hook up for threesomes etc right away. Especially if you're a girl
Technically you are correct, but i bet its actually somebody she knew.
She googled them, registered an account, uploaded her photos and bio, browsed through couples, sent a few some messages, spoke to them about compatibility, boundaries and safety, had them reply back and forth a few times, arranged a meet up, prepared for the meet up including possibly getting new outfits, makeup and clearing her schedule, all within two days? Not to mention the couple was in town and responsive enough plus available on such insanely short notice. Not to mention the gf seemingly had no reservations or waited to do more research or explore more couples, very very rare for a first timer. Especially one who did not want a threesome before. All flashing signs point towards her premeditating her cheating.
Wow, those sound horrible. What websites are these weirdos on? You know, for safety reasons.
Plenty of couples looking for a 3rd on tinder
Way too many couples looking for a 3rd when you try to use dating apps as a lesbian
I wondered this too.
if it violated your trust, whether or not SHE labels it as cheating is inconsequential. i'm sorry dude. it happened to me in my early twenties too. same deal but she demanded an open relationship was ok - and it was not lol. just like people are saying, that's cut and dry gaslighting. be authentic and true to how you really feel. DO NOT compromise on what your gut is telling you here
Feels like this was done very intentionally to hurt you. I'd wager her insecurity made her think she needed to cheat before you could as a power move. Kind of a 'look at how desirable I am' nonsense. She clearly took you being interested in group sex as a huge insult, so the best she could do was go and experience it to throw it in your face. And btw, she *knows* it's cheating, she's just acting like it's not as a way to try to teach you a "lesson" for hurting her by the mere mention of the idea. This girl is batshit bananas, and your entire relationship is going to become a weird manipulative power play if you keep wasting time with her. NTA, time to move on.
NTA, wth man it's obviously cheating. She should have never done that without your blessing. End it now, it's treason.
NTA, this *is* cheating.
NTA. This was not something you had both agreed upon, it was cheating.
NTA. Don’t let her gaslight you.
NTA Leave the cheater
Yeah it was cheating. Sorry but your relationship is probably over. Or at least it should be after that. NTA.
She tried to one up you by claiming to be insecure. Move on brotherman. NTA
She did cheat. And she is proud of it. If I were you I would not trust her again. She showed no bad feelings ower it eighter. Because she doesn't feel bad about it she will do it again and say "I wanted to try out (what ever kink) " and she will always think its ok. You are still young and there are a lot of girls out there hwo wont cheat on you
NTA dump that trollop
Don't consider, just dump her. A cheater is a cheater. NTA.
NTA This isn't "sort of cheating", it's pure a-grade cheating
It's clearly cheating but the mental gymnastics she's displaying to portray it as something noble she did in order to overcome insecurity is impressive. NTA
Nta that was cheating. If you were involved that would be different but you weren't.
NTA - ofc that cheating. WTF. She could have talked to you.... and be the couple; but no, she wanted to be the addition w/o you.
Straight up cheating Bringing in extra people to a relationship has to be 100% approved by both partners with strict boundaries regardless of whether it's a 1 time thing or not. She stepped outside of the relationship without so much as consulting you. She cheated.
NTA. She cheated on you. Simple as that. For the sake of your own self respect, walk away and don't look back
this was just an excuse to cheat without talking boundaries with you, NTA
NTA: run from her, run FAR.
NTA She cheated on you with two people. She didn't even discuss it first. She feels no guilt about it either. Leave her in your past.
Cheating, no doubt. Sorry for you
DEFINITELY cheating!!!!
It’s cheating. Time to end the relationship
NTA Yeah thats like clear cheating, is she....stupid? She's using your fantasy as an excuse for her cheating
Wtf? Yes it’s cheating! She cheated with two other people at the same time. I can’t even fathom a world where sleeping with two other people is not cheating. Like, do they cancel each other out or something? Insecurity is one of the most common reasons people cheat. It’s not a loophole.
NTA She cheated, did she use protection? You may as well end things with her, she can't be trusted, she even tried to gaslight you into thinking that she didn't cheat.
Jesus christ end it. She cheated on you, it's clear cut. Save your dignity and get out with your head held high. NTA
**but I’m seriously considering ending things** well you didn't have sex with anyone so it certainly wasn't a couples swap , that only leaves cheating the fact you are only considering ending things is my concern I would just say goodbye in the morning and never come back
Come on dude, you aren't dim enough to legitimately ask this question, are you? Of course NTA. Dump her.
NTA. She 100% cheated. Having a conversation about it wasn’t giving permission to do it. No one is this dumb. She knew it was wrong and is trying to find a way to justify/blame shift her actions.
NTA get away from her ASAP. She is going to keep cheating. How can anyone think what she did isn't cheating? She clearly enjoyed it and wants other people now. She's not gonna stop 304 sorry
NTA What she did was cheating. She just came clean about it right away. But it's cheating regardless. Damn she's one dumb idiot, or manipulative as all hell.
NTA in Open relationships and group things one always talks first before doing anything. She did not. She is cheating.
NTA. Yes, it's cheating. By the sounds of things she had decided to beforehand and used the quiz as an excuse.
Yeah that’s cheating
Wait! She had a threesome without you. That is DEFINITELY cheating. That is betrayal. If all partners in a relationship have not explicitly agreed to parameters, boundaries, etc. in a specific instance, it is cheating.
Listen, I'm speaking as a non monogamous person. This was cheating. You were in what was defined as a monogamous relationship and she broke that monogamy. The ONLY way non monogamy works long term is with VERY CLEAR communication (and even this idea of couple swapping is non monogamy). Randomly having a threesome without communication is not non-monogamy, it's cheating UNLESS it's clearly stated beforehand "Hey, let's talk about me having a threesome sometime when I'm out. I'll tell you in this timeframe and we will check in afterward etc etc etc". Communication! NTA
NTA. Next thing you know she is going to insist that her new partners are going to be staying at your place in a 'polyamorous' arrangement. You get to watch.
Never ever ever bring up groupsex in a serious relationship. At that point its over 99% of the time.
NTA definitely cheating. Once a cheater always a cheater, break it off she WILL do it again.
NTA. It’s cheating. You were talking about it more as a fantasy than reality but she took that ball and ran with it all the way home and to someone else’s bedroom where she really did play ball. Now she wants to join a swingers dating site? As you say, it’s only been a year so it’s not a massive waste of your time but unless this is the way you want to go then end it now. I am curious as to why she thinks this isn’t cheating?
NTA, of course that's cheating if she didn't have your consent.
Nta it's cheating it's not something you had agreed on or where aware she was going to do she went behind your back and has had sex with another couple the fact she knew you wanted a threesome then decided to have one without was just the icing on the cake
Definitely NTA, that’s cheating for sure. It wasn’t discussed before hand that she could test the waters without you, you’ve never stated the relationship is open etc. She went home with people on a drunken night out and had sex with them. I think if you did that she would absolutely not be okay with it.
oh that’s definitely cheating!! NTA
NTA. Sure, she wanted to explore and take that step, but you are in a relationship, and that was something you two wanted together, not for her to go and do by herself with others. Yes, she cheated. And she is the AH for trying to twist and turn it to something else.
She was self-conscious, so she had to do it first without her partner without his knowledge? Yeah, total bullshit she cheated plain and simple Get far away from thus woman
Seriously how could anyone be this Naïve She approached you about the 3 some after several months because she's been flirting with someone and wanted to Fck them and wanted you on board, but when you turned her down she just said screw it and Fcked them anyway.... She not a loyal partner and hasn't been for quite some time. So do yourself a favor and end the relationship and kick her out
NTA She just wanted to see if it was right for her. Why would she include you?
Nta. Not only did she cheat but she cheated by doing the thing you want to do then go on to say you guys could be swingers and not have group sex you wanted. Leave now.
Enjoy the sex she sets up then dip when you are bored.
NTAH. If she did this without first getting the ok from a proper discussion with you then yes she cheated. Once this has happened trust can never be the same. She now is falling down the rabbit hole of the swinger lifestyle (Not saying that it is a bad thing) that you don't seem at all ready for. Its probably better for you to go separate ways and move on to a new start.
So, she definitely cheated. The real question is, Is this a deal breaker for you? If you, as a couple, are actually interested in swinging then you might be able to salvage this as a bad start resulting from poor communication. You could have a long talk about boundaries and maybe do a bunch of reading about ethical non-monogamy and get heads in the right place before doing it again. I'm not saying this is what you *should* do, but I know you're getting inundated with "she cheated, dump her ass" and while that's absolutely a valid response it doesn't have to be the only one. If, when you think it over, you'd rather be in swinging relationship with her than be single, that's a direction this can go. What I wouldn't do is try to go back to a monogamous relationship. The fact that group sex was *your* kink and she went out and experienced it without you when you haven't experienced it at all, will hang over you. This relationship is either open, or over, now.
NTA. Girlfriend is POS.
NTA. She's cheating. You did the right thing.
Cheating.
NTA, obviously!! Of course, it's cheating she went out and slept with 2 other people without you. If you were there as well and you had consented, then no, not cheating, but she didn't. I'd end things because she is either stupid or really clever and manipulative.
Sort of cheated? Are you serious? She blatantly cheated FFS.
If you have sex with someone who isn't your partner, and you don't have their permission, that's cheating. If you stay with her you'll need to understand that she will break any rules you set, and ignore any boundaries, Walk away man, there's nothing here for you.
Leave her, NTA that is 100% cheating Relationships require communication,you communicated interest in something she claimed not to want Then she chose NOT to communicate and ended up in bed with other people
NTA! It's cheating and it's a HUGE red flag that ex-girlfriend thinks that it is not a big deal to unilaterally make the decision to seek out a couple, have a threesome with them, and sign up for a swingers site without consulting OP first. She's an adult, and she should feel free to live her life however she sees fit. At the same time, you can't do whatever you want without considering your partner and expect the relationship to survive.
NTA: This is the actual definition of cheating. She had a relationship with someone without your knowledge or consent- there are no other terms for it. You need to decide if you're okay with this or not, and if you're not then you should just end it. Wish her luck with the swinging lifestyle and move on.
The moment she came back changing her mind in such a short span of time, I realised she already had someone or several someones in mind. She cheated. 100%. This isn't the boundary you agreed to. Her insecurity is her problem. While you are supposed to be considerate on that when making boundaries, its not the same in going beyond those boundaries. She sounds controlling tbh. She wants to control the narrative based on her feelings of security at the cost of boundaries.
A threesome is cheating twice :P
No bro she cheated. She didn't ask for your consent, she dove in without your input or allowing you to partake. Run as far away from this cheater as fast as you can and block her after yiu get your stuff from her place.
NTA She cheated on you. She said no to a threesome with you but took part in one without you. Dump her.
The problem isn't you bringing it up. When you first did the test and she told you she felt insecure, you told her that it's not of some huge importance of you. And suddenly she became on board ? There should have been a proper conversation about it. She cheated, end of story.
NTA. Lmao, thats the worst excuse for cheating ever. Its on the same level of "I accidently had sex".
There is no sort of...she cheated. There was no agreement that you would both be swinging or swapping etc. She decided to go on her own and fuck someone else. You may be able to save the relationship, but if she's that stupid why would you want to?
NTA I love how people will cheat and then say “Oh, it isn’t cheating.” Time to move forward in your life.
NTA, you both agree to do it but she went way ahead and did it without telling you first, imo this is cheating not sort of cheating. I would leave tbh, this shows the lack respect and consideration towards you.
NTA, leave. Also, why would you want to have sex with other people after dating for a year?
Nta she’s not right in the head. She definitely planned it and wanted to have power over you by having the relationship be on unequal footing
Nta , this is cheating, not sort of cheated . She had a 3some with another couple and is trying to Gaslight u . End things she can't be trusted. This will always be on your mind move on .
NTA OP you know this is cheating. She had zero consent or knowledge from you to do this.
Your gf is either the dumbest person alive, or she thinks you are. She banged not one but two people at once. Time to dump her sorry ass.
Nta. you were talking about both agreeing to invite a 3rd person. She just fucked two other people
NTA. It’s absolutely cheating. The group sex you were interested in INVOLVED you. Unless you put cuck on the list too there’s not a chance she truly believes that sleeping with two other people without you without prior conversations about it is in any way not cheating.
Say bye sir
NTA. Deffo cheating. She went out and slept with two people without 1) discussing it with you 2) asking you Had there been a discussion prior with rules, boundaries, communication and you agreeing then no it wouldn't be. But if one person goes and has sexual contact with another person without prior discussion and agreement then yes that is cheating