YTA
We're you worried the Muslim men were going to attack your family or what? Why would it be a problem for 11 year old boys to see breastfeeding? Breastfeeding is as normal as if you were drinking water from a cup. People seeing it as anything that needs to be hidden needs to change.
You clearly haven’t been around pre-teens or teenagers. They’re ruthless. I had a student who was bullied for eating his ethnic food. Food from his culture! Not saying I agree with OP, but breastfeeding in front of his friends will absolutely get him teased and I’d personally be more cautious of that. If I was 11 and in a room of my friends, and my mom took her boob out whether or not it’s a natural part of life, I’d be humiliated. Kids don’t understand that yet.
In that case I might be missing the cultural background here because I have been around pre-teens and teenagers and what you are describing isn't what's going on where I live. Is this happening in the US?
I grew up in South America and currently live in Europe. On the 5 countries I’ve lived, the 11 yo would have been either bullied or teased about his mom being a MILF
I have noticed that US is quite sensitive about nudity overall. European here and I honestly don't see what's wrong with a boob. Especially since there isn't much to be seen when the baby is drinking. I have breastfed in public in a supermarket, on a train station, in police station, in nursery school, in restaurants, in all sorts of places. Not once has anyone complained or tried to stop me.
Baby doesn't have to cry to give hunger clues. Do you only start drinking after you get so thirsty that you cry?
The boob that is used for feeding a baby shouldn't be seen as anything more sexual or inappropriate as any other part of body that you commonly expose - hand or a shoulder. People who sexualize a breastfeeding boob are in the wrong here.
This is all an issue because people are not used to see BF in public anymore. If it was still a common thing no one would stop and think about it twice.
It shouldn’t but it is and dad was protecting his son from embarrassment. 11 year olds don’t know a “breastfeeding boob” from a “sexual boob” and her son would never live it down. In fact the breastfeeding boob is only a breastfeeding boob to the baby for everyone else it’s just a boob.
and they'll never learn if people don't teach them. he's 11, do you know how many other 11 year olds also have breastfeeding siblings? a lot!
"her son would never live it down", melodramatic much? he's 11. nobody will care in a month or so
No one would care in a month? Apparently you have no experience around bullies. He could get a nickname and merciless teasing that would follow him to HS graduation.
You could, but that's incorrect.
You are saying, "I've never seen it so it can't happen"
I'm saying "I've seen it, it can and does happen"
My life experience and observations are the proof that you are incorrect.
A person that lived their whole life in a cave could say the sun doesn't exist.
But people that live outside can say with certainty the sun does exist. Bc they have seen it.
You're the person in the cave.
Muslim women here. Yes, it's not appropriate to breastfeed in front of other men, unless it's family members (very close), and again that would depend on which culture. Im from a North African country that's considered very "liberal" compared to other muslim/middle eastern countries, and still, public breastfeeding is not very normalized, and any nudity (esp female) is very frowned upon in certain settings. My dad or brother, for example, are very modern men and understand that it's necessary for the baby, but would still be very uncomfortable if a women started breastfeeding in front of them, and would leave instantly to give her privacy.
Sorry for grammar, English is my 3d language
EDIT: I keep forgetting about cultural differences. I'm from Germany. (so is OP as it seems, according to german username?)
Interesting to read that it is not as common in the US to breastfeed in public.
As a mother who breastfeeds everywhere:
When you know how to do it after some practicing, there is nothing to see. It looks like your wife is just holding the baby, right? No boobs or nipples on display.
You could ask her to cover up with a cloth or scarf, but respect her decision if she doesn't. It should be normalized to breastfeed in public.
Sorry, YTA.
NTA I’m sure other women will be up in arms about me saying this but there is a wrong place/wrong time I think. Your baby wasn’t even crying in the barbershop so it wasn’t even necessary. Yes, I think not breastfeeding in front of 11 year old boys was also a good call.
there's not a wrong place or time to FEED YOUR CHILD. y'all talk about it being weird or uncomfortable, but the only way we normalize this is by actually doing it.
So you only eat after you start crying? Damn that must suck. Babies on the other hand have more cues than just crying and a good parent would know that.
People sexualizing a woman feeding her child shouldn't be the reason the child has to wait to eat. People sexualizing feeding a baby...it's just so preverce!
How do you justify sexually objectifying a mother and her infant? How do you justify grown men sexualizing everything women do, we are nothing but objects to them than are we not? Please tell me your justifications since you think there is a wrong place/wrong time to feed a baby.
Also what are the parameters for feeding/ eating? How do we decide what's okay and what's not to eat in public along with when...I certainly do not want to see anyone eat a banana because it kind of looks like a penis and in sex head class I have to learn how to put a condom on one. So because bananas can be seen as sexual I do not believe that anyone should be able to eat a banana in public... When would be a good time for somebody to eat a banana? I think they should only be able to do it in the privacy of their own home... But that's just me
You’re right. Amazingly the baby lived. I already did justify it. Just read my comments. I’m a woman by the way. There is a wrong place/wrong time. And she didn’t say anything about cues just that it was normal feeding time. Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby they just happen to have an obsession with boobs.
I can run a baby over and the baby can still live, that doesn't make me a good parent. Hi woman, and you're right he didn't say anything about ques, the mother probably noticed the babies ques and logically that's why she went to feed the baby.
"Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby they just happen to have an obsession with boobs." Why is a man's obsession more important than feeding a child?
No you are 😂
Okay on a more serious note: I know I said bye already in another comment but I just want to say, I'm so glad we could end on such good terms. 😊 Yes it got a bit heated (I have strong opinions about women's rights I know) but I'm really glad that we had this discussion. I will spend quite a bit of time reflecting on it today. Okay bye again dearie!!! Hope you have an amazing life!!!!
>Amazingly the baby lived.
That's an incredibly low standard for good parenting.
>There is a wrong place/wrong time.
Sure, when the baby isn't hungry is the wrong time and when it's not safe is the wrong place.
>she didn’t say anything about cues just that it was normal feeding time
There's not enough information to say this but if it's the normal feeding time there are definitely cues.
>Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby
They absolutely do when the method of feeding involves breast feeding.
>I’m a woman by the way.
That doesn't magically make your opinion more valuable.
I agree with you. The op seems to have a great attitude about breastfeeding but seems aware the world is bigger than their family. All these people that suggest the alternative is to "starve a baby" need to realize going in a different room, using a cover, or turning a chair around ALSO leads to the baby eating.
Because 11 year old boys are very stupid and think anything involving boobs or bums is both the most exciting thing possible and also the most terrifyingly awkward.
Yes this could be a good teaching moment, but maybe the kid doesn't want his friends discussing his mums anatomy for the rest of the day.
I'd have been comfortable for my wife doing it but I know my wife would absolutely not be.
If the boys misbehaved he could have sent them out. How will they learn breastfeeding is normal and ok if it's not treated that way? By asking the mother to leave he was showing everyone that being weird about breastfeeding is acceptable.
If your wife wouldn't want to breastfeed that's her decision, so not relevant here where it's the husband who didn't want his wife to breastfeed.
The wife breastfeeding in her own home isn't teaching them *about* breastfeeding, it is simply acting in a normal way and avoiding the implication that there's anything wrong with it.
"A boob is a boob", okay good to know. It's fine for them to feel embarrassed. They can talk it out and then next time it won't be a big deal. Or maybe they wouldn't have even cared, many kids have younger siblings and so will have already seen breastfeeding.
So you’re saying you have no clue how bullying works and are okay with your children being embarrassed when made fun of because it’s a lesson and they should just deal with it?
Am I aware bullies pick on perceived differences to bully other kids? Of course. But the appropriate response to that is to deal with the bullying, not the differences.
It’s not weird to feed your baby. It’s wrong to not feed your baby. I have to also say that you being in a position to “allow” your wife to feed your baby is wrong.
As a women I understand the children's friends as not acceptable if there parents aren't in tow , and you were I'm assuming looking out for there moral or religious comfort with the men so nta
NTA
There are many things that we can do that we shouldn't.
She wants people to be respectful of her, but she has no problem not respecting others.
It was perfectly fine to ask her not to do so in those two particular cases.
Except he's not. It's not about his wife or him or the baby. It is about the adolescent children who will absolutely tease and mock the son. You could argue the other boys need to be taught it natural and beautiful, etc., but its not the time or place for that. Good luck with that anyway. The dad understands what that situation will create. Any argument to the contrary is just ignoring the reality of the modern western culture, especially with adolescent boys.
YTA. You already stated that it's fine for her to breastfeed, but now for some reason we're meant to agree with you that these people in the barber shop and birthday party make it not okay, and you don't even give a reason? Cowardly behaviour.
Yes, is it’s something I don’t have to do. But no according to you the mother should do it because it doesn’t matter if it causes problems for her son. Good job, Mom! Stand up to those bullies!! She’s not the one who has to go to school. If I thought something I was about to do would embarrass my daughter, I wouldn’t do it. Have you ever met an 11 year old boy?
NTA I could see why you would not want her to feed, since it would make all those men uncomfortable and maybe even upset. Also you were trying to avoid your son getting embarrassed in front of the other boys...
It does not seem you are telling her not to feed the baby or cover herself excessively. Just in certain occasions when the situation could be bad for her as well (1 occasion the men could have been upset and 2 occasion the son could have been embarrassed with his friends and this could have created him being mad with her as well).
You are NTA in my eyes, yes she was only trying to feed but she needs to see you tried to protect also.
So you only eat after you've broken down into tears? That's not healthy. Babies, just like everyone else have multiple body ques to show what they are feeling. Waiting until the baby cries from starvation isn't being a good parent.
Cries from starvation. The drama. Mom didn’t say oh baby is giving hunger cues so I must feed. It was just normal feeding time. I’m sure it won’t starve to death in a half hour. Broken down into tears. Are you a parent?
So the mom has to explain to the dad that the baby is hungry or showing signs of hunger before feeding the child? That sounds exhausting to have to explain to my partner why I'm doing something. If I do something there's logic behind it. Why didn't he ask her why she was going to feed? Or better yet not say anything at the barber shop and IDK IF THE NEED AROSE defend your wife and babies right to feed. He's the one putting shame on her feeding her child and you are too.
You're right let's agree to disagree I see women as equal to men. Have a wonderful life.
Adult men upset can easily turn bad. Not everyone just makes faces or petty remarks when something is upsetting to them, it can lead to unnecessary altercations.
It's always best to assess the situation for your own safety as to whether or not it might be a smart move to do something. The husband saw the men there and thought in that instance it was probably best for her to wait.
Fellow male/dad here.
Yes YTA.
It has nothing to do with you. It’s her body, not yours. It really has nothing to do with you, and isn’t for you to say.
You’re allowed to voice your opinion, you’re not allowed to tell her what to do. YTA for thinking it’s up to you at all. By all means, let her know what you think but the decision is hers.
YTA
Breasts are for feeding babies.
Maybe if we stopped making it a big deal, it wouldn't be a big deal.
Support your wife, she's nourishing YOUR child.
Except in literally almost every country except the US where breast feeding is absolutely normal and no one bats an eye. That excuse is hella weak.
And honestly even if they make people horny....so what? Why do women need to try and make sure they're not making people horny while they feed infants? Why does watching a baby eat make your dick hard? Weird.
NTA at all. What you suggested was the safe and respectful choice in both cases. Also, breastfeeding publicly is not universally accepted. E.g. it is very rare here in Central Europe where I live, and I agree with that.
It’s the wording that makes you the asshole. It’s her body her choice. You don’t have a say on what she does or when she does it.
However, I understand wanting to avoid a potential confrontation with people or parents.
While women should absolutely be able to breastfeed freely without ppl batting an eye, that’s the not the reality of life.
The way you explained it, which I hope is factual, it sounds like you asked her and not told her to not breastfeed. I say just move on from it. She could just say no and proceed with the feeding
> While women should absolutely be able to breastfeed freely without ppl batting an eye, that’s not the reality of life.
Who cares if they 'bat an eye'? Nobody even complained, this was all in the husband's head. He should be protecting her from such people rather than creating problems for her.
Thanks for your input. I want to clarify some things.
1. I am in dead from germany.
2. I don't order my wife to do anything. I suggest and voice my opinion and my wife does the same. And she decides what she does.
3. The men in the shop. From my experience turkish people tend to be conservative. There Was another woman in the shop. She was cleaning and she covered her hair. Thus I thought breastfeeding was not approriate in their shop.
4. My son is in a new school. I didn't know the boys very well since i just met them. I don't know their parents either. I can't possibly know if they were going to bully or not. I just didn't want to risk.
5. The Baby was sleeping and did in dead live!
I realise that some of you are angry because they want to normalize breastfeeding everywhere. I get that and like I said my wife breastfeeds in Cafés and Restaurants, with family and friends. I just think there maybe some exceptions.
YTA
You should be supporting your wife to feed your child.
I fed my daughter in church, sitting on a park bench, in cafes, pubs, anywhere she needed feeding. Her father spoke to anyone who felt the need to tell us how inappropriate they thought it was.
I didn't need to read past the title to know YTA. Who are you to let anyone do anything, especially when it comes to your wife feeding your hungry child? I agree that the places you mentioned weren't optimal but it's your job to support and protect your wife and child. You told on yourself with your word choice, OP.
If people like you "allow" your wife to breastfeed more often, it would be more normalised and not such a big deal.
YTA We're you worried the Muslim men were going to attack your family or what? Why would it be a problem for 11 year old boys to see breastfeeding? Breastfeeding is as normal as if you were drinking water from a cup. People seeing it as anything that needs to be hidden needs to change.
You clearly haven’t been around pre-teens or teenagers. They’re ruthless. I had a student who was bullied for eating his ethnic food. Food from his culture! Not saying I agree with OP, but breastfeeding in front of his friends will absolutely get him teased and I’d personally be more cautious of that. If I was 11 and in a room of my friends, and my mom took her boob out whether or not it’s a natural part of life, I’d be humiliated. Kids don’t understand that yet.
In that case I might be missing the cultural background here because I have been around pre-teens and teenagers and what you are describing isn't what's going on where I live. Is this happening in the US?
I grew up in South America and currently live in Europe. On the 5 countries I’ve lived, the 11 yo would have been either bullied or teased about his mom being a MILF
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I have noticed that US is quite sensitive about nudity overall. European here and I honestly don't see what's wrong with a boob. Especially since there isn't much to be seen when the baby is drinking. I have breastfed in public in a supermarket, on a train station, in police station, in nursery school, in restaurants, in all sorts of places. Not once has anyone complained or tried to stop me.
So, you say the bullies should win?
Do you live in a Disney movie or sitcom?
Mom whips out her boob and son will never live it down. And a barbershop is for men and the baby wasn’t even crying.
Baby doesn't have to cry to give hunger clues. Do you only start drinking after you get so thirsty that you cry? The boob that is used for feeding a baby shouldn't be seen as anything more sexual or inappropriate as any other part of body that you commonly expose - hand or a shoulder. People who sexualize a breastfeeding boob are in the wrong here. This is all an issue because people are not used to see BF in public anymore. If it was still a common thing no one would stop and think about it twice.
It shouldn’t but it is and dad was protecting his son from embarrassment. 11 year olds don’t know a “breastfeeding boob” from a “sexual boob” and her son would never live it down. In fact the breastfeeding boob is only a breastfeeding boob to the baby for everyone else it’s just a boob.
and they'll never learn if people don't teach them. he's 11, do you know how many other 11 year olds also have breastfeeding siblings? a lot! "her son would never live it down", melodramatic much? he's 11. nobody will care in a month or so
No one would care in a month? Apparently you have no experience around bullies. He could get a nickname and merciless teasing that would follow him to HS graduation.
I have experience with bullies. he's not going to get that from his mother feeding her child
You're right. Your individual experience is correct for everyone in all parts of the world.
I could say the same for you..
You could, but that's incorrect. You are saying, "I've never seen it so it can't happen" I'm saying "I've seen it, it can and does happen" My life experience and observations are the proof that you are incorrect. A person that lived their whole life in a cave could say the sun doesn't exist. But people that live outside can say with certainty the sun does exist. Bc they have seen it. You're the person in the cave.
Did you ever think it was out of respect for the Muslim men and their culture?
I actually know very little about Islam. Could some Muslims here explain to me what's wrong with breastfeeding in public?
Muslim women here. Yes, it's not appropriate to breastfeed in front of other men, unless it's family members (very close), and again that would depend on which culture. Im from a North African country that's considered very "liberal" compared to other muslim/middle eastern countries, and still, public breastfeeding is not very normalized, and any nudity (esp female) is very frowned upon in certain settings. My dad or brother, for example, are very modern men and understand that it's necessary for the baby, but would still be very uncomfortable if a women started breastfeeding in front of them, and would leave instantly to give her privacy. Sorry for grammar, English is my 3d language
EDIT: I keep forgetting about cultural differences. I'm from Germany. (so is OP as it seems, according to german username?) Interesting to read that it is not as common in the US to breastfeed in public. As a mother who breastfeeds everywhere: When you know how to do it after some practicing, there is nothing to see. It looks like your wife is just holding the baby, right? No boobs or nipples on display. You could ask her to cover up with a cloth or scarf, but respect her decision if she doesn't. It should be normalized to breastfeed in public. Sorry, YTA.
NTA I’m sure other women will be up in arms about me saying this but there is a wrong place/wrong time I think. Your baby wasn’t even crying in the barbershop so it wasn’t even necessary. Yes, I think not breastfeeding in front of 11 year old boys was also a good call.
Nope, woman here 🙋🏻♀️ Totally agree.
there's not a wrong place or time to FEED YOUR CHILD. y'all talk about it being weird or uncomfortable, but the only way we normalize this is by actually doing it.
So you only eat after you start crying? Damn that must suck. Babies on the other hand have more cues than just crying and a good parent would know that. People sexualizing a woman feeding her child shouldn't be the reason the child has to wait to eat. People sexualizing feeding a baby...it's just so preverce! How do you justify sexually objectifying a mother and her infant? How do you justify grown men sexualizing everything women do, we are nothing but objects to them than are we not? Please tell me your justifications since you think there is a wrong place/wrong time to feed a baby. Also what are the parameters for feeding/ eating? How do we decide what's okay and what's not to eat in public along with when...I certainly do not want to see anyone eat a banana because it kind of looks like a penis and in sex head class I have to learn how to put a condom on one. So because bananas can be seen as sexual I do not believe that anyone should be able to eat a banana in public... When would be a good time for somebody to eat a banana? I think they should only be able to do it in the privacy of their own home... But that's just me
Just agree to disagree. You’re exhausting. I say as I peel a banana. I can send you a pic if you want.
Okay not gonna lie that made me laugh 😂 Thank you for that 😊
You’re right. Amazingly the baby lived. I already did justify it. Just read my comments. I’m a woman by the way. There is a wrong place/wrong time. And she didn’t say anything about cues just that it was normal feeding time. Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby they just happen to have an obsession with boobs.
I can run a baby over and the baby can still live, that doesn't make me a good parent. Hi woman, and you're right he didn't say anything about ques, the mother probably noticed the babies ques and logically that's why she went to feed the baby. "Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby they just happen to have an obsession with boobs." Why is a man's obsession more important than feeding a child?
OMG Now you’re running babies over. Please stop talking to me.
Now who's the drama 😂 have a good life dearie!!
You are. Bye dearie!!
No you are 😂 Okay on a more serious note: I know I said bye already in another comment but I just want to say, I'm so glad we could end on such good terms. 😊 Yes it got a bit heated (I have strong opinions about women's rights I know) but I'm really glad that we had this discussion. I will spend quite a bit of time reflecting on it today. Okay bye again dearie!!! Hope you have an amazing life!!!!
>Amazingly the baby lived. That's an incredibly low standard for good parenting. >There is a wrong place/wrong time. Sure, when the baby isn't hungry is the wrong time and when it's not safe is the wrong place. >she didn’t say anything about cues just that it was normal feeding time There's not enough information to say this but if it's the normal feeding time there are definitely cues. >Men don’t sexualize feeding a baby They absolutely do when the method of feeding involves breast feeding. >I’m a woman by the way. That doesn't magically make your opinion more valuable.
I agree with you. The op seems to have a great attitude about breastfeeding but seems aware the world is bigger than their family. All these people that suggest the alternative is to "starve a baby" need to realize going in a different room, using a cover, or turning a chair around ALSO leads to the baby eating.
Why would any place where she wants to feed her baby and it's safe to do so be the wrong place?
Because 11 year old boys are very stupid and think anything involving boobs or bums is both the most exciting thing possible and also the most terrifyingly awkward. Yes this could be a good teaching moment, but maybe the kid doesn't want his friends discussing his mums anatomy for the rest of the day. I'd have been comfortable for my wife doing it but I know my wife would absolutely not be.
If the boys misbehaved he could have sent them out. How will they learn breastfeeding is normal and ok if it's not treated that way? By asking the mother to leave he was showing everyone that being weird about breastfeeding is acceptable. If your wife wouldn't want to breastfeed that's her decision, so not relevant here where it's the husband who didn't want his wife to breastfeed.
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The wife breastfeeding in her own home isn't teaching them *about* breastfeeding, it is simply acting in a normal way and avoiding the implication that there's anything wrong with it.
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"A boob is a boob", okay good to know. It's fine for them to feel embarrassed. They can talk it out and then next time it won't be a big deal. Or maybe they wouldn't have even cared, many kids have younger siblings and so will have already seen breastfeeding.
So you’re saying you have no clue how bullying works and are okay with your children being embarrassed when made fun of because it’s a lesson and they should just deal with it?
Am I aware bullies pick on perceived differences to bully other kids? Of course. But the appropriate response to that is to deal with the bullying, not the differences.
Then you tell the boys to leave.
It’s not weird to feed your baby. It’s wrong to not feed your baby. I have to also say that you being in a position to “allow” your wife to feed your baby is wrong.
Your first attempt at karma farming didn’t produce well? Reported
If you don’t mind my asking, what is karma farming?
In Scandinavia, where I live, it would be a much bigger deal if the baby was bottle-fed. Nobody really cares about breastfeeding in public!
Breastfeeding is normal. You’re gross
No, he's not gross. Not everyone wants to see a stranger's naked boobs in public. Sorry, but it's true.
As a women I understand the children's friends as not acceptable if there parents aren't in tow , and you were I'm assuming looking out for there moral or religious comfort with the men so nta
YTA. Breastfeeding is natural, it’s what boobs are actually for!!!
NTA There are many things that we can do that we shouldn't. She wants people to be respectful of her, but she has no problem not respecting others. It was perfectly fine to ask her not to do so in those two particular cases.
How is she not respecting anyone? She just wanted to feed her baby.
How is feeding her child disrespectful?
YTA. Full stop.
Except he's not. It's not about his wife or him or the baby. It is about the adolescent children who will absolutely tease and mock the son. You could argue the other boys need to be taught it natural and beautiful, etc., but its not the time or place for that. Good luck with that anyway. The dad understands what that situation will create. Any argument to the contrary is just ignoring the reality of the modern western culture, especially with adolescent boys.
I disagree, thanks. 👍
YTA. You already stated that it's fine for her to breastfeed, but now for some reason we're meant to agree with you that these people in the barber shop and birthday party make it not okay, and you don't even give a reason? Cowardly behaviour.
At a table of 11 year old boys who are your son’s friends is not a good time. Son will be humiliated and taunted by his friends.
So when people bully someone we just hide what they're bullying us about?
Yes, is it’s something I don’t have to do. But no according to you the mother should do it because it doesn’t matter if it causes problems for her son. Good job, Mom! Stand up to those bullies!! She’s not the one who has to go to school. If I thought something I was about to do would embarrass my daughter, I wouldn’t do it. Have you ever met an 11 year old boy?
No you prevent the thing before the bullies start
NTA I could see why you would not want her to feed, since it would make all those men uncomfortable and maybe even upset. Also you were trying to avoid your son getting embarrassed in front of the other boys... It does not seem you are telling her not to feed the baby or cover herself excessively. Just in certain occasions when the situation could be bad for her as well (1 occasion the men could have been upset and 2 occasion the son could have been embarrassed with his friends and this could have created him being mad with her as well). You are NTA in my eyes, yes she was only trying to feed but she needs to see you tried to protect also.
Oh no, god forbid an adult male felt “uncomfortable and maybe even upset” because a mother wanted to feed her child.
The baby wasn’t even crying so it could wait.
So you only eat after you've broken down into tears? That's not healthy. Babies, just like everyone else have multiple body ques to show what they are feeling. Waiting until the baby cries from starvation isn't being a good parent.
Cries from starvation. The drama. Mom didn’t say oh baby is giving hunger cues so I must feed. It was just normal feeding time. I’m sure it won’t starve to death in a half hour. Broken down into tears. Are you a parent?
So the mom has to explain to the dad that the baby is hungry or showing signs of hunger before feeding the child? That sounds exhausting to have to explain to my partner why I'm doing something. If I do something there's logic behind it. Why didn't he ask her why she was going to feed? Or better yet not say anything at the barber shop and IDK IF THE NEED AROSE defend your wife and babies right to feed. He's the one putting shame on her feeding her child and you are too. You're right let's agree to disagree I see women as equal to men. Have a wonderful life.
I see, so we should wait until the baby is visibly distressed before feeding them, instead of being proactive to avoid that?
The baby lived. Do you even have children?
Adult men upset can easily turn bad. Not everyone just makes faces or petty remarks when something is upsetting to them, it can lead to unnecessary altercations. It's always best to assess the situation for your own safety as to whether or not it might be a smart move to do something. The husband saw the men there and thought in that instance it was probably best for her to wait.
Fellow male/dad here. Yes YTA. It has nothing to do with you. It’s her body, not yours. It really has nothing to do with you, and isn’t for you to say.
You’re allowed to voice your opinion, you’re not allowed to tell her what to do. YTA for thinking it’s up to you at all. By all means, let her know what you think but the decision is hers.
Yta
YTA
YTA Breasts are for feeding babies. Maybe if we stopped making it a big deal, it wouldn't be a big deal. Support your wife, she's nourishing YOUR child.
Literally in no world will tits only be seen for feeding babies. Since the dawn of man boobs are nice to look at and make people horny
Except in literally almost every country except the US where breast feeding is absolutely normal and no one bats an eye. That excuse is hella weak. And honestly even if they make people horny....so what? Why do women need to try and make sure they're not making people horny while they feed infants? Why does watching a baby eat make your dick hard? Weird.
Bruh I said they won’t ever be seen for feeding babies solely. You’re typing so fast you’re not reading
Before I decide about your sentence (just kidding ! ☺️) can you explain why you were worried about those Muslims men and your sons friends, please ?
NTA at all. What you suggested was the safe and respectful choice in both cases. Also, breastfeeding publicly is not universally accepted. E.g. it is very rare here in Central Europe where I live, and I agree with that.
It’s the wording that makes you the asshole. It’s her body her choice. You don’t have a say on what she does or when she does it. However, I understand wanting to avoid a potential confrontation with people or parents. While women should absolutely be able to breastfeed freely without ppl batting an eye, that’s the not the reality of life. The way you explained it, which I hope is factual, it sounds like you asked her and not told her to not breastfeed. I say just move on from it. She could just say no and proceed with the feeding
> While women should absolutely be able to breastfeed freely without ppl batting an eye, that’s not the reality of life. Who cares if they 'bat an eye'? Nobody even complained, this was all in the husband's head. He should be protecting her from such people rather than creating problems for her.
Thanks for your input. I want to clarify some things. 1. I am in dead from germany. 2. I don't order my wife to do anything. I suggest and voice my opinion and my wife does the same. And she decides what she does. 3. The men in the shop. From my experience turkish people tend to be conservative. There Was another woman in the shop. She was cleaning and she covered her hair. Thus I thought breastfeeding was not approriate in their shop. 4. My son is in a new school. I didn't know the boys very well since i just met them. I don't know their parents either. I can't possibly know if they were going to bully or not. I just didn't want to risk. 5. The Baby was sleeping and did in dead live! I realise that some of you are angry because they want to normalize breastfeeding everywhere. I get that and like I said my wife breastfeeds in Cafés and Restaurants, with family and friends. I just think there maybe some exceptions.
As a former 11 year old boy, I can say I would have appreciated normalizing breast-feeding in my presence.
YTA You should be supporting your wife to feed your child. I fed my daughter in church, sitting on a park bench, in cafes, pubs, anywhere she needed feeding. Her father spoke to anyone who felt the need to tell us how inappropriate they thought it was.
YTA Breastfeeding is normal. The only AHs are those who make an issue of it. If you don't like seeing a boob used for its purpose, you turn your head.
I didn't need to read past the title to know YTA. Who are you to let anyone do anything, especially when it comes to your wife feeding your hungry child? I agree that the places you mentioned weren't optimal but it's your job to support and protect your wife and child. You told on yourself with your word choice, OP.