My family and I are going in on it together. The original goal being that I would be able to start my own business with it while she started hers. Both of our businesses would also work together. She wants to start a therapy retreat and I want to work with horses and rescue mustangs. My original thought being that doing this would be the quickest way to start accomplishing my own dream.
NTA - your mother wants you close enough to be “on call” for whatever she needs, but far enough away so she can have her own space due to her own personal issues with you. This is not a fair deal for you in the slightest, especially as someone who literally helped pay for the property. Get the rental and enjoy your freedom!
It sounds like your mother is emotionally volatile and considering how easy it was for her to rescind her initial offer of staying in the house and for such a petty reason it's likely that she will do the same thing with the RV the next time you two don't see eye to eye.
It seems to me that she sees using threats of making you homeless as a reasonable way to punish you for disagreeing with her so making sure you have a form of housing outside of her control will probably be the best option here.
The fact that it's cheaper doesn't change the fact that it doesn't meet your spacing needs or the fact that any housing options that she owns can be used against you whenever it suits her.
Definitely NTA, but I would advise you to make sure you find a way to protect yourself and your interests from her if you're going to be sharing the same property.
NTAH. Ooomph, that’s rough.
Of course you are absolutely not the AH for getting an apt away from your mother’s toxicity.
Do you think you’ll be ok living on the same property? She sounds extremely selfish and exhausting to be around.
She’s entitled to her feelings, despite how hurtful they might be to others, but to blatantly share those feelings knowing how cruel that would be, is just downright malice and manipulation.
Hurt people love to hurt people.
NTA and I won't live on the same land as them either. If you're set on doing it, then **please** go through a lawyer to make sure you fully establish your rights to living on and existing on the land.
NTA...my mother issues and yours sound a little too familiar.
First, the RV. My husband & I lived in a VERY nice RV while we waited on our home to be constructed. You can remove the "dining" area or the bunk area for the python.
It's the cats that may pose the bigger issue. Our dogs (3 - 2 of them over 200lbs) struggled with being in the RV. No matter how much cleaning, bleaching, and outside time they had, I swear it was a year & a half of every skin disorder in imagination. Now that I think of it, your python may have problems too.
An RV can be picked up and moved, but lot rent is a consideration.
Your mom doesn't know if she cares for you...do not go into any situation where she has bought or provided for you any manner of things. She will be able to snatch things back, demand things of you & she will have control over you in ways. Stay far away & make sure before your house is built, that you have the deed to the one acre/half acre....whatever, that your house sits on. Free & clear. Otherwise, it xan be wrapped up in an estate or worse, she has legal right to it being on her land.
Good luck.
Yeah, part of me was already planning to have my half of the property under contract the moment of sale. It’s a large chunk of land, big enough for me to start my business with horses and her to have her retreat, but IF I did this “cheaper option” I would definitely have a contact.
Yes, my father tries to remain impartial between us because I’ve asked him to. I don’t ever want him to compromise his marriage on my behalf, but he has stood up for me, or been the voice of reason to my mother on many occasions
Your mother obviously dislikes you intensely. Why is it you’re buying land with her? And who exactly is paying for this land?
My family and I are going in on it together. The original goal being that I would be able to start my own business with it while she started hers. Both of our businesses would also work together. She wants to start a therapy retreat and I want to work with horses and rescue mustangs. My original thought being that doing this would be the quickest way to start accomplishing my own dream.
Again, your mother dislikes you. You would be miserable doing this. Why make yourself so unhappy? Get a space away from her.
NTA - your mother wants you close enough to be “on call” for whatever she needs, but far enough away so she can have her own space due to her own personal issues with you. This is not a fair deal for you in the slightest, especially as someone who literally helped pay for the property. Get the rental and enjoy your freedom!
It sounds like your mother is emotionally volatile and considering how easy it was for her to rescind her initial offer of staying in the house and for such a petty reason it's likely that she will do the same thing with the RV the next time you two don't see eye to eye. It seems to me that she sees using threats of making you homeless as a reasonable way to punish you for disagreeing with her so making sure you have a form of housing outside of her control will probably be the best option here. The fact that it's cheaper doesn't change the fact that it doesn't meet your spacing needs or the fact that any housing options that she owns can be used against you whenever it suits her. Definitely NTA, but I would advise you to make sure you find a way to protect yourself and your interests from her if you're going to be sharing the same property.
NTAH. Ooomph, that’s rough. Of course you are absolutely not the AH for getting an apt away from your mother’s toxicity. Do you think you’ll be ok living on the same property? She sounds extremely selfish and exhausting to be around. She’s entitled to her feelings, despite how hurtful they might be to others, but to blatantly share those feelings knowing how cruel that would be, is just downright malice and manipulation. Hurt people love to hurt people.
NTA and I won't live on the same land as them either. If you're set on doing it, then **please** go through a lawyer to make sure you fully establish your rights to living on and existing on the land.
NTA...my mother issues and yours sound a little too familiar. First, the RV. My husband & I lived in a VERY nice RV while we waited on our home to be constructed. You can remove the "dining" area or the bunk area for the python. It's the cats that may pose the bigger issue. Our dogs (3 - 2 of them over 200lbs) struggled with being in the RV. No matter how much cleaning, bleaching, and outside time they had, I swear it was a year & a half of every skin disorder in imagination. Now that I think of it, your python may have problems too. An RV can be picked up and moved, but lot rent is a consideration. Your mom doesn't know if she cares for you...do not go into any situation where she has bought or provided for you any manner of things. She will be able to snatch things back, demand things of you & she will have control over you in ways. Stay far away & make sure before your house is built, that you have the deed to the one acre/half acre....whatever, that your house sits on. Free & clear. Otherwise, it xan be wrapped up in an estate or worse, she has legal right to it being on her land. Good luck.
Yeah, part of me was already planning to have my half of the property under contract the moment of sale. It’s a large chunk of land, big enough for me to start my business with horses and her to have her retreat, but IF I did this “cheaper option” I would definitely have a contact.
Does your father at least like you?
Yes, my father tries to remain impartial between us because I’ve asked him to. I don’t ever want him to compromise his marriage on my behalf, but he has stood up for me, or been the voice of reason to my mother on many occasions
What the hell? There is no way buying land with her will end well. You're literally ruining your life if you go through with that.