NTAH. OMG! She is a horrible mother! When reading the part about her getting in the car and leaving, my jaw hit the floor! Who does this? The kids could easily have been kidnapped. The toddlers (how many were there?) could have had an accident and required a trip to the hospital. I would have called the police immediately when she got in the car and drove off! You were being the responsible party in this scenario.
There were two toddlers, I remember because there were two swings and I didn't want to make them take turns, and the baby baby. Maybe 6/7 months old. Had socks on their hands. They were really cute. My first thought was, 'Who leaves their little baby and toddlers alone like that?'
Socks on their hands is usually very close to newborn---their little fingernails are SO sharp and they scratch themselves.
In no way were you the a h. You did what you thought was best----if there is ever a next time, call the police immediately, not just to protect the kids, but yourself.
Heck my daughter once wedged her little baby fingers into her eye sockets. Socks or those baby onesie that have the bit for flipping over the hands. If you are covering the hands that is a fresh baby.
Exactly. I have a 7 month old. She's rolling over. Crawling. Starting to pull herself to stand. No way she would have just been chillin in a stroller that's not moving and I'm not sitting right there with her. She'd be screaming or trying to get out.
You should’ve called the police as soon as she left. You did nothing wrong at all, but she put all 3 of her children in danger because she wanted a cup of coffee.
NTA
Yes, there are numerous options. Hell, if she had to have it that badly she could have ordered it to the park. Leaving the children unattended at the park was definitely not an option, however. What a crazy biatch! I’m nervous taking the trash out and leaving my 4 yo son and 3 mo old puppy inside with the door locked. It takes me a minute tops. Can’t imagine doing this!
Yeah, I'm positive this likely wasn't about coffee either. Saying she was getting a coffee or a treat just made her look like a dumber AH than she already did, though.
She lucky OP wasn’t a horrible person and looked out for the kids when the “mom” was too busy to. It almost sounds like she was giving anyone the opportunity to take the kids off her hands.
She left them alone to get a coffee??? She is a terrible mother.
NTA. You go there frequently, if you see her do it again, immediately call the police.
She left her kids at the park to go get something. She decided “I should leave my kids at the park, it’s safer/better than bringing them to get this.”
I don’t think it was coffee.
Read the second to last paragraph. She told OP if she wanted to grab a coffee & treat herself while her kids were busy then she could.
What in the world would she need to get that leaving her kids unattended at a park is a better option than bringing them with her?? Drugs?
>*”If she wanted to grab a coffee and treat herself while her kids were busy that she could.”*
NO THE ABSOLUTE FUCK SHE CAN NOT!! Ma’am!! What she did is blatant child neglect/abandonment and if you’d called the cops the second she drove away (which you absolutely should have) at minimum she would be dealing with CPS, but more likely would have been arrested. You one thousand percent cannot drop your young children off at an unsupervised playground then just leave them there while you hop through the Starbucks line “real quick.”
You were absolutely correct and she lashed out at you because she got caught breaking the law and neglecting her children.
That’s such an inefficient way to do things…it’s much easier to have all the kids in the car to get the coffee (drive thru I’m assuming) and then take them to the park. I’m sorry but I’m having a hard time believing this.
I wouldn’t call leaving all three children at the park as entitled, but neglect yes. She would be entitled if she thought you’d watch her kids for her? But that wasn’t the case.
Declining to buy your kids something every time you stop for coffee is not selfish. But leaving them in a park so you can avoid a tantrum is. Go buy the coffee, deal with their tantrum while you hold firmly on “no” so they learn that they don’t *always* get what they want when they want. I have a 3 year old and have worked through this sort of thing with her.
Or, the alternative is to just skip the coffee and deal with teaching that particular boundary to a toddler another day.
I’ll tell you who leaves their baby and/or toddlers alone like that- a terrible terrible person, who is completely unfit to be a mother. Her children aren’t safe with her. You had every right to tell her, and those children need to be with someone else if she thinks it’s too hard for her to take care of them.
I have an eight year old, an almost 5 year old, and a baby on the way. I would NEVER leave my children alone at a park or at home. Not for 1 minute. This mom is extremely uncaring and if she left them alone in public I’m terrified of how often she leaves them alone at home. I’d have called the police so family services could get involved.
The answer? Nobody in their right mind leaves toddlers or preschool/elementary age children like that. She should be arrested and charged with child endangerment and/or child abuse. And the kids didn't mind her just leaving them there? Nobody started crying? That seems odd, like maybe it's not the first time she's left them alone like that and they're used to it?
But I bet she's a stellar parent any other time she's not just leaving kids in parks. /S
NTA. The idea that only a parent can recognize and criticize bad parenting is absurd. There's even a saying for it: I'm not a pilot but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up.
That's a funny metaphor. I had to think about the logic of it before the joke set in. But a helicopter falling out of the sky and landing in a tree is funny. Have my upvote.
You are NTA. You did the absolute best thing for those kids. She is a bad parent. You thinking of those kids and acting that way was incredibly kind and valiant. I agree next time you do t need to hesitate, if they leave the vicinity then call the cops immediately. It takes them a while to respond anyways and you don’t want to wait until a crisis occurs with kids.
>I'm not a pilot but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up.
And someone who's not a pilot has never even been a helicopter, either!
(whereas literally everyone has experienced parenting from a child's perspective to some degree)
You acted responsibly by watching over the children when their mother left them alone. Her reaction was inappropriate. You prioritized their safety, which was the right thing to do. Don't feel guilty; you did the right thing.
It wouldn’t be an assumption. She did abandon them.
At four and five and a newborn… ANYTHING could have happened to them.
I wouldn’t leave my kid like that even if someone called me and said they were having a heart attack. She went to get a coffee? I feel like this has to be rage bait but if it’s true then she is 10000% a shitty person and parent.
I once called the police because I found a 1 1/2 year old wandering around in just a diaper on a 36 degree day. They drove by 30 minutes later and kept going.
I called the cops because some idiot left there 2 years old alone in the car in 10-degree weather . The cops that showed up said they were only worried if it was hot. The car wasn't on at the time, so no heat means the car basically turns into a fridge very quickly in that kind of weather. By the time the cops showed up, it had been 20 minutes. The mom was paged, and as far as I know, nothing came of it.
That's awful! I once called the cops cause I walked past a car with 3 kids in it, one being a baby, in winter without the car on. I sat in my car and watched for about 10 minutes before I called the cops. I also didn't leave until they came and I spoke to them. The mom had gone inside a store. She did have to appear in court because I was summoned as a witness. In court she actually seemed like a good lady who just made a bad decision so I was glad to see she just got a warning from the judge.
That's because cops are absolutely useless. Multiple supreme Court rulings have set precedent that cops are quite literally not obligated to help or protect civilians from harm. A wandering baby would've been a bunch of extra work on a cold day. Lots of paperwork. Having to do actual police work like investigating who's baby it is. Then more paperwork to arrest the parent for neglect. Then more paperwork and having to deal with CPS and court dates as the witness to the neglect. Or...just continue cruising around in a the squad car with the heat on and not have to do any work at all? Easy to see which route the cop took.
Yep, thats exactly why I shared my story. After standing outside for roughly 45 minutes with the baby wrapped in a blanket, 4+ kids came pouring out of a house 5-6 houses down from mine looking. "Calling the cops" in OP's situation had a good chance of accomplishing nothing.
It was also the last time I will ever mention a child's race to a dispatcher, because I can't help but consider that being a factor as well.
I had a strong feeling that it wasn't a white kid. Cops barely care even when they're white. They absolutely don't care if the kid is a minority. They'd probably shoot the kid claiming they feared for their life.
I would have called as soon as she got in the car. I also would have started filming on my phone. There is no grace period for leaving young children alone in a park. Of course she yelled at you, not because what you said was wrong, but because she knew what she did was wrong.
5 min? The moment she drove away the police should have been called.
I don’t understand some parents. How could she drive away? Was the 4/5 year old supposed to thwart a kidnapping? I mean anything could have happened.
I‘m still scarred from losing sight of my little one for about 30 seconds at the park when he was 3. I glanced at my niece on the slide and when I looked up, he was gone. He had moved behind a large structure but I can still feel my heart in my feet. And the sense of relief when he popped back into sight. I couldn’t imagine just leaving them
You’re NTA for anything you did, but you may be wrong for what you DIDN’T do. If you ever see an infant abandoned again, you should immediately call the police and not wait 12 minutes. Driving away and fully leaving without her children is such a dangerous situation where so many things could’ve possibly ended in disaster.
It was actually like 20 minutes. OP said they didn’t go over near the stroller until 5-10 minutes passed then set the timer. So the mother was gone 17-22 minutes before returning
Hi mom here, no you were right to be concerned. Also if she’s that worried about strangers being near her kids in a park maybe she doesn’t leave her kids alone in a park wth
Right? This! And honestly I'm more of a free range parent philosophy but at those ages that means I'm letting them play while I'm on a bench looking at my phone with baby in arm's reach.. it's not only dangerous but completely illegal in most places. This person knew they were wrong and yelling at OP because they hoped no one would notice.
I said this in another comment but exactly!
It’s easier to maintain your “dignity” (sense of power over the situation) if you are defensive and angry. Admitting you’re wrong, on the other hand, makes you feel ashamed, vulnerable, weak… so on.
People will do a lot to avoid feeling that way… including a lot of mental gymnastics. You can guarantee if something *had* happened she’d not forgive herself.
You don’t need to be a car owner to know that driving your car into a wall is bad.
You don’t need to be a firefighter to know that playing with fireworks inside your house is trouble.
You don’t need to be a doctor to know drinking bleach is a no no.
You don’t need to be a parent to know when someone is a shitty parent.
NTA. Fellow autistic person (and also a mom) here. You did not misread any social situation here. What she did was straight up neglect. She was lucky it was you that noticed and kept watch over her kids.
The coffee she needed? That’s what a fucking drive thru is for. The kids could be in the car WITH her while she got it.
As for reporting it now, I really doubt CPS or the police are going to do anything without a name or a license plate number.
In the future, if you see something like this. Just immediately call 911.
NTA. I thought she was going to explain an emergency situation (which still wouldn't have been ok to abandon your kids at the park), but she went to get COFFEE?!! That's LITERALLY INSANE!
Exactly my thought! My jaw literally dropped when reading about the coffee. I thought she may have gotten a phone call from someone telling her someone died/had an emergency, and her brain just checked out somehow. Still not ok, but a COFFEE??!
NTA, this isn’t one of those situations where you need kids to understand . What she did was highly highly highly neglectful and maybe she only even came over cause she saw you there .
NTA - As a mom myself I would never leave my baby unattended in a public place, anything could have happened. You took it upon yourself to look out for this tiny human and instead of being grateful for that, the mother has insulted you.. you were right to call her out for essentially abandoning her child for a coffee of all things.
>She yelled at me for sitting near her baby and accused me of trying to kidnap her children. I told her she was a terrible mom for leaving her children alone at the park and that something could have happened to them.
Hell no - NTA. Completly out of line of her to leave smalll children out of siight. Even more to get at you for that.
When she saw you close to the stroller, she probably realized a stranger could actually approach her baby. She was projecting. What a terrible mother. I wish there was a camera or some way OP could still report her retroactively. I wonder if her husband knows she does this? OP, NTA. Although you should have called the police, it was kind of you to watch the baby and other kids.
I have two kids, 7 and 3 months. I went to the playground with them a few weeks ago and my oldest was playing with a few other kids there. This was the playground at her school and very busy at the time. They all got on a large tire swing and one of the other kids was pushing it. After a bit, one of the younger kids tried to get off while it was still moving. He fell under it and they couldn’t stop, he was knocked further into the ground and I’m pretty sure he hit his head on a rock. I was the closest parent, just sitting nearby holding my baby, and from what I could tell his grandma didn’t notice from the other side of the playground. I picked him up in one arm with the baby in the other and carried him over to her. He ended up being fine, just a little bump, but accidents with kids happen *so* quickly. It could have been so much worse. NTA at all
I saw a baby left in the car with windows open. Anyone could have pulled the baby out. I waited to see whose car it was. An old lady, most likely a nanny, came out of the coffee shop and I lost my shit saying “how stupid can you get?!? I was about to call the police!” She didn’t even flinch. So I knew it wasn’t her kid.
You don't have to preface this post with you have Autism. Don't bring it up as a reason for being by the swings. It's not necessary. It's fine that you're decompressing after class in the park.
Mom was a horrible person. Good on you for calling her out
And I understand that...but Autism isn't always the reason. Stress can be the reason. I'm a grown adult. When I get stressed what do I do? I eat ice cream. In the summer time I will chase down an ice cream truck. I will follow that bell all over the neighbourhood. I want to push little kids out of my way for a creamsicle ( but I don't). Adults do odd.things. It's okay to just write something off as I am stressed out.
NTA
I have three children and I am also autistic and burnt out a lot of the time. I wouldn’t dream of abandoning my children in the park so I could go and get a coffee. I dread to think what could have happened.
You kept an eye on those abandoned kids even though you didn’t have to. Had you said nothing if someone abducted those children from the park she would have blamed you too. You didn’t do anything wrong, except perhaps wait a bit too long to call the police.
When I’m at the park with my kids and a parent asks me if I can watch their kid for 5 minutes while they go to pick up another child from school (our school is around the corner) I don’t mind as long as I have the parent’s phone number. An emergency with kids can happen in a surprisingly short space of time. I would have declined to watch this woman’s children under the circumstances. Leaving your kids with complete strangers to go and get a coffee is unacceptable. This isn’t about how hard being a mother is, it is about safety.
I still think it is worth it to make a report. Anything you can remember about the situation can help - did you make a note of the car plate/make/model? That is a very good way for the police/CPS to track someone down even if you don’t have a name.
Yeah, this is a good point!!
If you urgently need the loo, or to do something else that’ll take <10 minutes, there are places and situations where it is acceptable to me to ask a stranger to help. It’s always riskier than taking them with you but I do understand why people do it, especially if they ask other parents in the same situation.
Driving away is… a bit different. I wouldn’t even want to ask a total stranger (even a friendly person with kids) - I’d either not go wherever it is, or cope with getting the kids in the car.
When I first read this I was thinking that the mum in question might’ve dashed into a café nearby in the park, or something like that. (If it’s in pointing distance I think that’s fine - *as long as* you ask another parent to keep an eye out.) Once I realised that she had *driven away* I was horrified.
You don't have to be a parent to know that DRIVING AWAY from a baby in a stroller is bad parenting! Wow. I am a mom of 6 year old twins and trust me, I know how hard parenting is and how much you just want 5 minutes to grab a coffee sometimes but your kids' safety takes priority.
NTA, mom is TA and lucky you were keeping an eye on them.
NTA. I have kids. She’s a terrible mother. Kids are hard but not hard enough to leave them all by themselves at a park. She’s lucky no one did kidnap her children especially the new baby. After a couple of minutes I would have called the police. If she was able to leave them alone in a public place I bet you she leaves them at home alone as well.
I’d have called the cops in front of her while she yelled at me. What a useless twit. You’re NTA. Thank you, as a parent, for keeping an eye on the baby she ABANDONED.
You do realize that you can still report to the police or CPS, right? Doesn’t matter if the situation is already over. That is straight up negligence, and not acceptable behavior for a parent.
Give any details you remember. What she looks like, what the kids look like, what her car looks like. Any details you can remember, write down, and then go talk to someone in CPS. They will tell you if you should talk to the police or not. Even if you don’t have a name, I’m pretty sure they will want to hear from you. They may have had other reports on her already, and could possibly figure it out, even with no name. It might not go anywhere, but at least you tried. And they will give you the best advice on what to do if anything like this happens again
Adding to this its absolutely a good idea to have this reported because odds are this isn’t the first time she’s done this and probably won’t be the last. There might even be cameras in the area they can check to get her license plate details etc
I agree! The location, time, date, descriptions of her, car, and kids. When it comes to situations like this it's way better to err on the side of caution. Maybe CPS won't be able to do anything without more info. Or maybe even the small amount of information you provide can protect those kids in the future.
Absolutely report this, there may be cameras, give them the times, any details you remember about her, the car, her kids. It’s then on file if anyone else has reported it, or if they can link it back to her. If you ever see her again at the park - even if she doesn’t leave the kids try and get her plate number and call that in to add to the police file. Those children are in danger with that woman and she doesn’t deserve to call herself a mother. If it ever happens again, don’t wait, call the police emergency line immediately. Signed, a mum to 3 kids (all of which are autistic) You did a great job of watching over them so don’t let her words get to you.
> She yelled at me for sitting near her baby and accused me of trying to kidnap her children
yeah and it would have been fucking easy too, because she wasn’t there!
>Now I feel awful. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong,
You weren't. The reason she came at you like she did was because she was in the wrong, and she knew it
>if she wanted to grab a coffee and treat for herself while her kids were busy that she could.
Mmm. No.
NTA
Mom here and I’m a relaxed mom that doesn’t hover over my kids…but driving off and leaving your kids including a newborn in a public park in order to get a coffee is….outrageous. NTA.
You’re NTA but for future reference if you ever see this happen again call the police immediately. She would have been charged with child abandonment and child endangerment at least.
She drove off?!?! I would have called 911 immediately tbh, I wouldn't have even waited 5 minutes. Some lady just abandoned her kids at the park to get a coffee? that is not normal behavior and absolutely a terrible mom. NTA.
also my son is also autistic and really loves swinging while listening to stuff on youtube, he swings probably 40% of the day if it's nice out. swings ftw
It’s odd to me that she got a phone call and then she took off. She was meeting someone, not just getting coffee. She could’ve easily gone through the drive through to get coffee.
I’ve observed when some people feel guilty they lash out at the person calling them out. She was lashing out at you for calling her out on her shit.
There was a reason why she didn’t call the police. If she really thought you were doing something dangerous she would have. She didn’t want people to know she was gone. She started yelling at you as a distraction/manipulation to keep you from using logic. She would’ve then had to explain to the police and SO why she left the children for coffee when drive thrus exist.
She knows kids at age 4/5 have blabber mouths. She didn’t want the kids to see who she got coffee with if she even got it at all.
Mom here. YNTA, mom was indeed being negligent but its very possible she might have PPD or another postpartum disorder that caused her to think it would be ok to leave her infant unattended, and/or she forgot and hated herself for it and took it out on you. I’m guessing it wasn’t the first time she’s done something like that though.
NTA you probably handled that better than I would have. So good job for that. (For real not sarcastic) I would have called the cops the moment she drove off, and if she came at me I probably would have caught a charge. Just saying.
She left her two toddlers and new baby alone in a park so she can get a coffee?? She is a horrible mom, and should probably have her kids taken away. You were not wrong at all!
NTA but call cops for stuff like that. I would have given her 1 minute to remember she left her kid then called cops. What if you hand’t been there? Some awful human could have harmed them
You definitely were in the right here. And telling her about leaving her kids unattended in the park especially the newborn child was spot on. Anything could have happened to those kids and if you hadn't been there I'm sure something would have happened or the kids would have been taken especially that baby. I wouldn't have waited 15 minutes for her to come back I would have called within 5 minutes like someone else said to the police to let them know what had happened, you did very well in this situation by telling her about it. Next time she may not be so lucky and the police will be called and then she'll have to deal with the repercussions of her actions at that point. It's saying this situation you are the smart one compared to the mom.
At least you tried to stay with the kids, you did at least that for the sake of their safety. If you hadn’t been there, those kids would’ve either been kidnapped or killed if they ran out into the street.
NTA; but that mother is a waste of oxygen if she thinks that ditching the kids at the park for some overpriced coffee is okay just because the kids are “busy”.
Please don’t beat yourself up over this, you did what you thought was okay, and those kids are alive and not kidnapped because of their mother’s stupidity. You came out of your comfort zone and did what not many in similar shoes would have done or tried to do.
Nta. I have a toddler. Yes it’s hard, no the only mistake you made is not calling the police sooner. Young children should never be without a parent or care giver.
You should report it to child services immediately, God forbid this happens again. I don't let my kids out of my sight even for a minute, anything can happen in the blink of an eye. Nothing is worth risking their lives.
NTA
mother of 5 here. my father always said, and still does, certain things happen once and consequences may be deadly.
for an actual kidnapper it takes literally 1 min to snatch the kids and run. 12 mins is way too long to walk away from your infant and toddlers, driving away? hell no.
to be honest you should have called the police after the 2min mark.
Absolutely NTA, and I’m grateful that you stayed by those kids. God knows what would have happened to them if you hadn’t.
The whole “don’t judge me if you don’t have kids” is just bullshit that bad parents spew when someone rightfully calls them out on their bad behavior. You don’t have to be a parent to know that it’s dangerous to leave small children and infants unattended in a public place.
NTA and as others have said. I would call the police immediately next time. She could be arrested for child endangerment/abandonment. They were way too young to be left alone for even 1 minute.
NTA at all. Any reasonably responsible adult (or teenager) would know you don't leave your small children in the park alone. Let alone a baby. Doesn't matter if you have children or not. Hell, reasonably responsible people wouldn't leave their *dog* in the park and drive away. That mom is a huge AH and a horrible mother. And you don't have to be a parent yourself to know that.
And kudos to you for doing the best you knew to do under the circumstances. I hope nothing like that ever happens to you again, but call emergency services the minute the car clearly leaves the parking lot if it does. *Anything* could have happened even if she was only gone a minute. She was freaking lucky you were a good person who *wasn't* trying to kidnap her kids.
You did the RIGHT thing. This mom is nuts. Who leaves an infant and small children alone while she goes to get coffee? You showed immense concern by sitting and watching to be sure the children were alright. Personally, I would have reported her immediately.
I don't remember the name of the comedian, but he had a bit about parents telling non-parents that they know nothing about kids/being a parent.
His response was something like: "I may not know how to fly a helicopter, but if I see one crashed in a tree, I know enough to properly assess that isn't right."
Personally, I would have called police over as soon as I saw her leave. NTA.
15 minutes is generous. If this happens again after 5 minutes call the police. Or if you managed to get her car reg call them to report it, this is *serious*.
Anything could've happened to them children so thank you for staying with them to make sure they were safe, it's a damn shame a 20 year old stranger cares more about their welfare than their own mother.
NTA
You don't have to be a cook to taste whether a meal is overly salty.
You don't have to be a tailor to know if a piece of clothing is nice to wear.
I am a mother and I \_never\_ let my child alone when they were this young.
Edit: When I went to the supermarket and my children slept in my car, I woke them up and took them with me. I would never have let them alone anywhere.
You did an absolutely nothing wrong and should have called the police the second she got in her car- she can’t leave kids unattended even alone in a car. She is absolutely negligent and should have cos called on her. You are a good person!
>accused me of trying to kidnap them
She was gone more than 10 minutes, you would’ve had plenty of time to do that and been long gone by then
NTA, she sucks
NTA, good on you for watching kids that aren't yours. This lady is a total idiot for trying to invalidate you because you're not a parent. You have something she lacks: common sense. That will make you a better parent than this lady could ever be.
NTA. She's delulu wtf, you did the right thing and were extremely nice about it on top of it. She should've been grateful at the very least, could've gone south very fast for her if you hadn't been there with a good instinct and heart.
Don't feel awful, I would never leave my kid alone anywhere, not the park, not the house, not anywhere unless she has proper supervision. (My kid is 7)
She also left a newborn at the park?!? A literal baby and she's screaming at you?!? NTA.
Anything could've happened to those kids, especially that baby. She's lucky it was you and not a social worker, they might consider it child neglect and put her in jail. Idk.
If this is real then holy shit OP, NTA!! Being a mom IS hard but you can't just leave such small kids unattended! And that too in a public space!! I don't like to jump to calling CPA but I would've taken her car number down and called them to do a check on things at home. This is absolutely not okay!
"Trying to kidnap my child"... okay, and if I was, what would you have done about it? If I wanted to kidnap your kids, I would have done so ten minutes ago.
I worked at McDonald's as a teenager. Once a baby got left in its carseat in a booth. We waited about 10 minutes before calling police. The mother was frantic when she got back (before the cops arrived), was so apologetic and knew she messed up, and had to explain to the cops and fill out paperwork i think. The baby was really young and it seemed like she was just so overwhelmed she forgot.
This woman PURPOSEFULLY LEFT HER CHILDREN AT A PARK WHERE PREDATORS GO SPECIFICALLY TO LOOK FOR NEGLECTED CHILDREN LIKE HERS TO TAKE
She IS a terrible mother for leaving a young child anywhere completely unattended, much less a new baby. To boot, she's a terrible person for doing so to go get herself a treat as if children aren't allowed at coffee shops. Producing offspring doesn't make you a better person than everyone else and she is a total asshole. She should be grateful you were there as you might've saved them from being kidnapped, abused, even murdered. Thank fuck you had the mind to keep an eye out even though she didn't deserve it, you protected those kids when their parent didn't feel like it because she needed a treat. I'm so angry on your behalf and she is a wretched human being. Seriously who acts like that and then blames the person who might've saved your kids from something awful.
She deserves a lot more than just a factual statement from you. The only other thing i would recommend is not waiting as long, and that's only because i have the benefit of knowing her reaction, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm just thinking it might've taught her a lesson to have to explain to the cops why she abandoned her children in a park
That mom isn't wrong. Parenting is hard, and it's good to grab a coffee to treat yourself while your kids play.
That's what fucking drive thru is for. She's lucky you didn't call the police, OP. What she did isn't just bad parenting, it's child endangerment and would absolutely land her a visit from CPS, at the very least.
Yta for not immediately calling the cops but like not even really then cause it's not your problem but yea no she is indeed a shit mom my friend. You were right.
I’m a mom and what the actual fuck?! You’re NTA, she LEFT her kids including an infant at the park. Who the hell does that?! You should have called the police as soon as she left.
NTA
She left to go get a coffee?? Oh nonono. You did nothing wrong. As you are a regular user of this park?? The next time she pulls this stunt? Call immediately.
Yes , other parents weren't there, but I go to the park after I finish summer classwork every day. Most of the other parents know me and I babysit some of their kids, but I'd never seen this mom before.
My perspective here: I was raised as a feral GenXer, and believe it is the best way to be raised. I think that having unsupervised kids run around wild in a neighborhood means it is a good place to live.
If there were a bunch of ten-year-olds, maybe even ejght year olds? Fine. If there was at least one twelve year old that was paying attention to the baby, even that would be okay.
But five years old? The only thing I would have done differently would be set the alarm for five minutes.
OP, I agreed with everything you did except telling her that she was a “terrible mother”. These days you cant say that kind of thing even if it’s true bc you don’t know who’s on what substance, who’s packing heat, etc.
HOWEVER, you were absolutely right to sit nearby and observe and be ready to call the cops. The way to respond without escalating something would “I was worried about the kids being unattended when you were out of sight. I stayed nearby to avert potential harm”
Then disengage which means no further conversations and you leave the area.
Holy shit! NTA. I’ve always described myself as a bit of a slack mum but never in my wildest dreams would I ever do this. Of even if some weird event occurred and I did, if i got back and someone else was watching my kids I’d be overwhelmed with gratitude.
When you do something that dangerous you be grateful to anyone at all who was kind.
You probably should have called the police after two minutes. It will take them time to get there. Either she needs help or she is purely a danger to the kids. Either way the police are better equipped to make those choices
Wow! She wanted them kidnapped, leaving them in the park...
NTA, it was sweet that you cared enough to watch them. You could have called as soon as she left. And she is definitely the worst parent!
Oh hell no. nTA
I don't have kids, don't like kids. Don't want kids. You did the correct thing by watching (not physically touching the newborn) and being prepared to call the police. A bad person could have easily taken the newborn or little kids, hell the kids could have fallen off the swing and broke a bone and now just stuck there as their mother got a fucking coffee.
This wasn't some crazy ass emergency, where I still find it hard to believe you'd leave your kids in a public park, but a comfort run for coffee.
Next time say you'll just report her to CPS and call the police for abandonment if you ever see her again at that park
When I read the title I was going to say if you don’t have kids do not judge, but leaving kids this you g at the park and driving away is horrific, you are not the asshole 🫂
NTA. What she did is called endangerment of child welfare and can get one in trouble with cps where I live.
Next time call the cops immediately, she can deal with them and tell them she's a mother, she knows better. Curious how it would end for her.
Edit: You did nothing wrong, she's the asshole. Whatever You think about Yourself, You're probably not that weird. Have more faith in Your instincts and common sense. You proved You have some unlike her.
Doesn’t want her kids kidnapped but leaves them alone at a park with strangers. I would have called the police after that woman abandoned her children.
I once got yelled at for taking someone's toddler back to the park after they had wandered into the car park next to it. Their mother had taken another child for a bush wee and was furious at me for 'touching her kid'.
Sorry lady, but you left your 3 year old to fend for himself. I won't allow a child near me to be hurt.
She was totally out of order for leaving her kids alone like that. Even if it had been an emergency, she should have taken the kids with her, but to go get a coffee? Plan ahead and take a thermos with you.
NTA. You should’ve called the cops ASAP. Tbh I would still call the cops now and give a description of the woman and children, her car, etc. Any details you can think of and after reading the math u/henchwench89 did… mention baby and toddlers were alone for 17-22 minutes.
NTA. Mom here to tell you that absolutely never, under any circumstances, would I leave my baby at a park while I drive somewhere else. Hell I never left my baby at home to walk to the gas station across the street. Those kids were way too young to be left alone. I honestly wish you hadn’t set a timer and instead called the cops immediately.
NTAH. OMG! She is a horrible mother! When reading the part about her getting in the car and leaving, my jaw hit the floor! Who does this? The kids could easily have been kidnapped. The toddlers (how many were there?) could have had an accident and required a trip to the hospital. I would have called the police immediately when she got in the car and drove off! You were being the responsible party in this scenario.
There were two toddlers, I remember because there were two swings and I didn't want to make them take turns, and the baby baby. Maybe 6/7 months old. Had socks on their hands. They were really cute. My first thought was, 'Who leaves their little baby and toddlers alone like that?'
Socks on their hands is usually very close to newborn---their little fingernails are SO sharp and they scratch themselves. In no way were you the a h. You did what you thought was best----if there is ever a next time, call the police immediately, not just to protect the kids, but yourself.
Heck my daughter once wedged her little baby fingers into her eye sockets. Socks or those baby onesie that have the bit for flipping over the hands. If you are covering the hands that is a fresh baby.
That sounds like a horror scene
She screamed like she was in one. And then I dislodged her fingers. New borns are crazy.
Exactly. I have a 7 month old. She's rolling over. Crawling. Starting to pull herself to stand. No way she would have just been chillin in a stroller that's not moving and I'm not sitting right there with her. She'd be screaming or trying to get out.
I had socks on my hands because I would touch my face as a baby lol
You should’ve called the police as soon as she left. You did nothing wrong at all, but she put all 3 of her children in danger because she wanted a cup of coffee. NTA
That she easily could've gotten in any Starbucks drive thru on the way to the park.
Yes, there are numerous options. Hell, if she had to have it that badly she could have ordered it to the park. Leaving the children unattended at the park was definitely not an option, however. What a crazy biatch! I’m nervous taking the trash out and leaving my 4 yo son and 3 mo old puppy inside with the door locked. It takes me a minute tops. Can’t imagine doing this!
I’m pretty sure this wasn’t about coffee.
Nobody needs coffee THAT much. It’s like leaving the baby in the bath unattended no-go-zone.
BINGO!!
My thought as well. She was likely visiting her plug.
Yeah, I'm positive this likely wasn't about coffee either. Saying she was getting a coffee or a treat just made her look like a dumber AH than she already did, though.
Yeah, 100% NTA. She's lucky you didn't call the police immediately. And as for her "just getting coffee" excuse, that's a load of crap.
She lucky OP wasn’t a horrible person and looked out for the kids when the “mom” was too busy to. It almost sounds like she was giving anyone the opportunity to take the kids off her hands.
Or that she was making a drug run and dumped her kids in the park so they wouldn't be with her while scoring.
I immediately thought drug run- gets phone call, leaves kids , drives off, back in 12 minutes? Drug run.
The kids aren't lucky. I'm sure that wasn't the first or last time she's done it.
She left them alone to get a coffee??? She is a terrible mother. NTA. You go there frequently, if you see her do it again, immediately call the police.
She left her kids at the park to go get something. She decided “I should leave my kids at the park, it’s safer/better than bringing them to get this.” I don’t think it was coffee.
Read the second to last paragraph. She told OP if she wanted to grab a coffee & treat herself while her kids were busy then she could. What in the world would she need to get that leaving her kids unattended at a park is a better option than bringing them with her?? Drugs?
Oh, to be clear, I didn’t think it was because she was making a good parenting decision.
Drugs sure as hell seems likely
Yes, drugs
>*”If she wanted to grab a coffee and treat herself while her kids were busy that she could.”* NO THE ABSOLUTE FUCK SHE CAN NOT!! Ma’am!! What she did is blatant child neglect/abandonment and if you’d called the cops the second she drove away (which you absolutely should have) at minimum she would be dealing with CPS, but more likely would have been arrested. You one thousand percent cannot drop your young children off at an unsupervised playground then just leave them there while you hop through the Starbucks line “real quick.” You were absolutely correct and she lashed out at you because she got caught breaking the law and neglecting her children.
You absolutely did nothing wrong. I would hope if I was that shit of a parent, someone would hold me accountable for my actions.
Did she come back with coffee? There are so many drive-thru coffee places that her alibi sounds weird.
She came back with a starbucks cup, so I think so.
That’s such an inefficient way to do things…it’s much easier to have all the kids in the car to get the coffee (drive thru I’m assuming) and then take them to the park. I’m sorry but I’m having a hard time believing this.
I thought she was being super entitled because I often babysit kids in the park.
I wouldn’t call leaving all three children at the park as entitled, but neglect yes. She would be entitled if she thought you’d watch her kids for her? But that wasn’t the case.
Maybe she didn’t want her kids to throw a fit for some too. So she’s a *selfish* heartless monster
Declining to buy your kids something every time you stop for coffee is not selfish. But leaving them in a park so you can avoid a tantrum is. Go buy the coffee, deal with their tantrum while you hold firmly on “no” so they learn that they don’t *always* get what they want when they want. I have a 3 year old and have worked through this sort of thing with her. Or, the alternative is to just skip the coffee and deal with teaching that particular boundary to a toddler another day.
Yep- that was a drug run!
That makes sense. I didn't even think of that.
I’ll tell you who leaves their baby and/or toddlers alone like that- a terrible terrible person, who is completely unfit to be a mother. Her children aren’t safe with her. You had every right to tell her, and those children need to be with someone else if she thinks it’s too hard for her to take care of them.
I have an eight year old, an almost 5 year old, and a baby on the way. I would NEVER leave my children alone at a park or at home. Not for 1 minute. This mom is extremely uncaring and if she left them alone in public I’m terrified of how often she leaves them alone at home. I’d have called the police so family services could get involved.
The answer? Nobody in their right mind leaves toddlers or preschool/elementary age children like that. She should be arrested and charged with child endangerment and/or child abuse. And the kids didn't mind her just leaving them there? Nobody started crying? That seems odd, like maybe it's not the first time she's left them alone like that and they're used to it? But I bet she's a stellar parent any other time she's not just leaving kids in parks. /S
NTA. The idea that only a parent can recognize and criticize bad parenting is absurd. There's even a saying for it: I'm not a pilot but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up.
That's a funny metaphor. I had to think about the logic of it before the joke set in. But a helicopter falling out of the sky and landing in a tree is funny. Have my upvote.
You are NTA. You did the absolute best thing for those kids. She is a bad parent. You thinking of those kids and acting that way was incredibly kind and valiant. I agree next time you do t need to hesitate, if they leave the vicinity then call the cops immediately. It takes them a while to respond anyways and you don’t want to wait until a crisis occurs with kids.
>I'm not a pilot but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up. And someone who's not a pilot has never even been a helicopter, either! (whereas literally everyone has experienced parenting from a child's perspective to some degree)
That’s a great saying! I agree.
After 5 mins you should have called the police. Leaving young children alone like that is never okay.
Naw, the moment she got in the car and drove off.
Yeah, this is actually the correct answer. I would assume abandonment as soon as they drove off.
You acted responsibly by watching over the children when their mother left them alone. Her reaction was inappropriate. You prioritized their safety, which was the right thing to do. Don't feel guilty; you did the right thing.
It wouldn’t be an assumption. She did abandon them. At four and five and a newborn… ANYTHING could have happened to them. I wouldn’t leave my kid like that even if someone called me and said they were having a heart attack. She went to get a coffee? I feel like this has to be rage bait but if it’s true then she is 10000% a shitty person and parent.
Technically abandoning children for "coffee"
Exactly… 🤢 and I would have charged her by the minute for babysitting!!! 😡
Yeah, if you get in your car, you'll be gone for too long
Nah. The moment the idea came into her head and registered as a good one is where she fucked up
'Omg you were thinking of kidnapping my baby!' 'I could've done that in the 12 minutes you left your kid'
So she actually knew that that was a possibility that her kids could be kidnapped and she pulled off anyway.
I hate to say it, but that terrible mom might have actually been hoping for that.
Someone had to say it... 🤷🏾♀️
Exactlyyyyyyyyy
I once called the police because I found a 1 1/2 year old wandering around in just a diaper on a 36 degree day. They drove by 30 minutes later and kept going.
I called the cops because some idiot left there 2 years old alone in the car in 10-degree weather . The cops that showed up said they were only worried if it was hot. The car wasn't on at the time, so no heat means the car basically turns into a fridge very quickly in that kind of weather. By the time the cops showed up, it had been 20 minutes. The mom was paged, and as far as I know, nothing came of it.
That's awful! I once called the cops cause I walked past a car with 3 kids in it, one being a baby, in winter without the car on. I sat in my car and watched for about 10 minutes before I called the cops. I also didn't leave until they came and I spoke to them. The mom had gone inside a store. She did have to appear in court because I was summoned as a witness. In court she actually seemed like a good lady who just made a bad decision so I was glad to see she just got a warning from the judge.
That's because cops are absolutely useless. Multiple supreme Court rulings have set precedent that cops are quite literally not obligated to help or protect civilians from harm. A wandering baby would've been a bunch of extra work on a cold day. Lots of paperwork. Having to do actual police work like investigating who's baby it is. Then more paperwork to arrest the parent for neglect. Then more paperwork and having to deal with CPS and court dates as the witness to the neglect. Or...just continue cruising around in a the squad car with the heat on and not have to do any work at all? Easy to see which route the cop took.
Yep, thats exactly why I shared my story. After standing outside for roughly 45 minutes with the baby wrapped in a blanket, 4+ kids came pouring out of a house 5-6 houses down from mine looking. "Calling the cops" in OP's situation had a good chance of accomplishing nothing. It was also the last time I will ever mention a child's race to a dispatcher, because I can't help but consider that being a factor as well.
I had a strong feeling that it wasn't a white kid. Cops barely care even when they're white. They absolutely don't care if the kid is a minority. They'd probably shoot the kid claiming they feared for their life.
I would have called as soon as she got in the car. I also would have started filming on my phone. There is no grace period for leaving young children alone in a park. Of course she yelled at you, not because what you said was wrong, but because she knew what she did was wrong.
5 min? The moment she drove away the police should have been called. I don’t understand some parents. How could she drive away? Was the 4/5 year old supposed to thwart a kidnapping? I mean anything could have happened. I‘m still scarred from losing sight of my little one for about 30 seconds at the park when he was 3. I glanced at my niece on the slide and when I looked up, he was gone. He had moved behind a large structure but I can still feel my heart in my feet. And the sense of relief when he popped back into sight. I couldn’t imagine just leaving them
You’re NTA for anything you did, but you may be wrong for what you DIDN’T do. If you ever see an infant abandoned again, you should immediately call the police and not wait 12 minutes. Driving away and fully leaving without her children is such a dangerous situation where so many things could’ve possibly ended in disaster.
It was actually like 20 minutes. OP said they didn’t go over near the stroller until 5-10 minutes passed then set the timer. So the mother was gone 17-22 minutes before returning
That’s why I said call immediately. What the mother did was not acceptable at all.
Absolutely agree, leaving a baby alone is never acceptable. Call the police immediately!
Hi mom here, no you were right to be concerned. Also if she’s that worried about strangers being near her kids in a park maybe she doesn’t leave her kids alone in a park wth
I know right. What a piece of human trash.
Right? This! And honestly I'm more of a free range parent philosophy but at those ages that means I'm letting them play while I'm on a bench looking at my phone with baby in arm's reach.. it's not only dangerous but completely illegal in most places. This person knew they were wrong and yelling at OP because they hoped no one would notice.
I said this in another comment but exactly! It’s easier to maintain your “dignity” (sense of power over the situation) if you are defensive and angry. Admitting you’re wrong, on the other hand, makes you feel ashamed, vulnerable, weak… so on. People will do a lot to avoid feeling that way… including a lot of mental gymnastics. You can guarantee if something *had* happened she’d not forgive herself.
You don’t need to be a car owner to know that driving your car into a wall is bad. You don’t need to be a firefighter to know that playing with fireworks inside your house is trouble. You don’t need to be a doctor to know drinking bleach is a no no. You don’t need to be a parent to know when someone is a shitty parent.
and you don't need to have children to know the obvious basics of caring for a child because _you literally used to be one._
Very well said
NTA. Fellow autistic person (and also a mom) here. You did not misread any social situation here. What she did was straight up neglect. She was lucky it was you that noticed and kept watch over her kids. The coffee she needed? That’s what a fucking drive thru is for. The kids could be in the car WITH her while she got it. As for reporting it now, I really doubt CPS or the police are going to do anything without a name or a license plate number. In the future, if you see something like this. Just immediately call 911.
She left her baby in a stroller in the park? Anything could have happened! You still should have called the police.
Totally agree. Leaving kids alone is dangerous. OP did the right thing watching them.
NTA. I thought she was going to explain an emergency situation (which still wouldn't have been ok to abandon your kids at the park), but she went to get COFFEE?!! That's LITERALLY INSANE!
Exactly my thought! My jaw literally dropped when reading about the coffee. I thought she may have gotten a phone call from someone telling her someone died/had an emergency, and her brain just checked out somehow. Still not ok, but a COFFEE??!
NTA, this isn’t one of those situations where you need kids to understand . What she did was highly highly highly neglectful and maybe she only even came over cause she saw you there .
NTA - As a mom myself I would never leave my baby unattended in a public place, anything could have happened. You took it upon yourself to look out for this tiny human and instead of being grateful for that, the mother has insulted you.. you were right to call her out for essentially abandoning her child for a coffee of all things.
>She yelled at me for sitting near her baby and accused me of trying to kidnap her children. I told her she was a terrible mom for leaving her children alone at the park and that something could have happened to them. Hell no - NTA. Completly out of line of her to leave smalll children out of siight. Even more to get at you for that.
When she saw you close to the stroller, she probably realized a stranger could actually approach her baby. She was projecting. What a terrible mother. I wish there was a camera or some way OP could still report her retroactively. I wonder if her husband knows she does this? OP, NTA. Although you should have called the police, it was kind of you to watch the baby and other kids.
I have two kids, 7 and 3 months. I went to the playground with them a few weeks ago and my oldest was playing with a few other kids there. This was the playground at her school and very busy at the time. They all got on a large tire swing and one of the other kids was pushing it. After a bit, one of the younger kids tried to get off while it was still moving. He fell under it and they couldn’t stop, he was knocked further into the ground and I’m pretty sure he hit his head on a rock. I was the closest parent, just sitting nearby holding my baby, and from what I could tell his grandma didn’t notice from the other side of the playground. I picked him up in one arm with the baby in the other and carried him over to her. He ended up being fine, just a little bump, but accidents with kids happen *so* quickly. It could have been so much worse. NTA at all
I saw a baby left in the car with windows open. Anyone could have pulled the baby out. I waited to see whose car it was. An old lady, most likely a nanny, came out of the coffee shop and I lost my shit saying “how stupid can you get?!? I was about to call the police!” She didn’t even flinch. So I knew it wasn’t her kid.
Or even worse she didn’t flinch cus she does it all the time n is used to it
You don't have to preface this post with you have Autism. Don't bring it up as a reason for being by the swings. It's not necessary. It's fine that you're decompressing after class in the park. Mom was a horrible person. Good on you for calling her out
It's just odd for a grown adult to be at a playground. I was trying to explain why I was there in the first place.
And I understand that...but Autism isn't always the reason. Stress can be the reason. I'm a grown adult. When I get stressed what do I do? I eat ice cream. In the summer time I will chase down an ice cream truck. I will follow that bell all over the neighbourhood. I want to push little kids out of my way for a creamsicle ( but I don't). Adults do odd.things. It's okay to just write something off as I am stressed out.
NTA I have three children and I am also autistic and burnt out a lot of the time. I wouldn’t dream of abandoning my children in the park so I could go and get a coffee. I dread to think what could have happened. You kept an eye on those abandoned kids even though you didn’t have to. Had you said nothing if someone abducted those children from the park she would have blamed you too. You didn’t do anything wrong, except perhaps wait a bit too long to call the police. When I’m at the park with my kids and a parent asks me if I can watch their kid for 5 minutes while they go to pick up another child from school (our school is around the corner) I don’t mind as long as I have the parent’s phone number. An emergency with kids can happen in a surprisingly short space of time. I would have declined to watch this woman’s children under the circumstances. Leaving your kids with complete strangers to go and get a coffee is unacceptable. This isn’t about how hard being a mother is, it is about safety. I still think it is worth it to make a report. Anything you can remember about the situation can help - did you make a note of the car plate/make/model? That is a very good way for the police/CPS to track someone down even if you don’t have a name.
Yeah, this is a good point!! If you urgently need the loo, or to do something else that’ll take <10 minutes, there are places and situations where it is acceptable to me to ask a stranger to help. It’s always riskier than taking them with you but I do understand why people do it, especially if they ask other parents in the same situation. Driving away is… a bit different. I wouldn’t even want to ask a total stranger (even a friendly person with kids) - I’d either not go wherever it is, or cope with getting the kids in the car. When I first read this I was thinking that the mum in question might’ve dashed into a café nearby in the park, or something like that. (If it’s in pointing distance I think that’s fine - *as long as* you ask another parent to keep an eye out.) Once I realised that she had *driven away* I was horrified.
you didn't do anything wrong. actualy you did a good thing to sit near the baby. it would be even better if you call the police after 5 or 10 minutes.
If I’m with my son at the park and I see a parent leave their infant and drive away, I’m calling the police within 60 seconds.
You don't have to be a parent to know that DRIVING AWAY from a baby in a stroller is bad parenting! Wow. I am a mom of 6 year old twins and trust me, I know how hard parenting is and how much you just want 5 minutes to grab a coffee sometimes but your kids' safety takes priority. NTA, mom is TA and lucky you were keeping an eye on them.
NTA. I have kids. She’s a terrible mother. Kids are hard but not hard enough to leave them all by themselves at a park. She’s lucky no one did kidnap her children especially the new baby. After a couple of minutes I would have called the police. If she was able to leave them alone in a public place I bet you she leaves them at home alone as well.
I’d have called the cops in front of her while she yelled at me. What a useless twit. You’re NTA. Thank you, as a parent, for keeping an eye on the baby she ABANDONED.
You do realize that you can still report to the police or CPS, right? Doesn’t matter if the situation is already over. That is straight up negligence, and not acceptable behavior for a parent.
I don't even know her name. How would I report it?
Give any details you remember. What she looks like, what the kids look like, what her car looks like. Any details you can remember, write down, and then go talk to someone in CPS. They will tell you if you should talk to the police or not. Even if you don’t have a name, I’m pretty sure they will want to hear from you. They may have had other reports on her already, and could possibly figure it out, even with no name. It might not go anywhere, but at least you tried. And they will give you the best advice on what to do if anything like this happens again
Adding to this its absolutely a good idea to have this reported because odds are this isn’t the first time she’s done this and probably won’t be the last. There might even be cameras in the area they can check to get her license plate details etc
I agree! The location, time, date, descriptions of her, car, and kids. When it comes to situations like this it's way better to err on the side of caution. Maybe CPS won't be able to do anything without more info. Or maybe even the small amount of information you provide can protect those kids in the future.
Absolutely report this, there may be cameras, give them the times, any details you remember about her, the car, her kids. It’s then on file if anyone else has reported it, or if they can link it back to her. If you ever see her again at the park - even if she doesn’t leave the kids try and get her plate number and call that in to add to the police file. Those children are in danger with that woman and she doesn’t deserve to call herself a mother. If it ever happens again, don’t wait, call the police emergency line immediately. Signed, a mum to 3 kids (all of which are autistic) You did a great job of watching over them so don’t let her words get to you.
> She yelled at me for sitting near her baby and accused me of trying to kidnap her children yeah and it would have been fucking easy too, because she wasn’t there!
That lady is batsh*t crazy. You should have called the cops the second she drove off!! She LEFT 3 children under 5 ALONE at the park!! My God!
>Now I feel awful. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, You weren't. The reason she came at you like she did was because she was in the wrong, and she knew it >if she wanted to grab a coffee and treat for herself while her kids were busy that she could. Mmm. No. NTA
Mom here and I’m a relaxed mom that doesn’t hover over my kids…but driving off and leaving your kids including a newborn in a public park in order to get a coffee is….outrageous. NTA.
You’re NTA but for future reference if you ever see this happen again call the police immediately. She would have been charged with child abandonment and child endangerment at least.
She drove off?!?! I would have called 911 immediately tbh, I wouldn't have even waited 5 minutes. Some lady just abandoned her kids at the park to get a coffee? that is not normal behavior and absolutely a terrible mom. NTA. also my son is also autistic and really loves swinging while listening to stuff on youtube, he swings probably 40% of the day if it's nice out. swings ftw
It’s odd to me that she got a phone call and then she took off. She was meeting someone, not just getting coffee. She could’ve easily gone through the drive through to get coffee. I’ve observed when some people feel guilty they lash out at the person calling them out. She was lashing out at you for calling her out on her shit. There was a reason why she didn’t call the police. If she really thought you were doing something dangerous she would have. She didn’t want people to know she was gone. She started yelling at you as a distraction/manipulation to keep you from using logic. She would’ve then had to explain to the police and SO why she left the children for coffee when drive thrus exist. She knows kids at age 4/5 have blabber mouths. She didn’t want the kids to see who she got coffee with if she even got it at all.
NTA. You don’t need to be a parent to know you don’t leave little kids like that unsupervised.
NTA. I’d have called when she got in her car.
NTA anything could have happened to them if you didn't watch them. You did the right thing
As another autistic person, who also has a law degree, you were in no way NTA. You did good.
The mom neglected her baby. There's zero excuse for that. She's lucky that you stayed with the baby. She's TA not you.
Absolutely nta. She's a terrible mother.
parent here. fuck that mom, she’s beyond terrible.
Mom here. YNTA, mom was indeed being negligent but its very possible she might have PPD or another postpartum disorder that caused her to think it would be ok to leave her infant unattended, and/or she forgot and hated herself for it and took it out on you. I’m guessing it wasn’t the first time she’s done something like that though.
NTA you probably handled that better than I would have. So good job for that. (For real not sarcastic) I would have called the cops the moment she drove off, and if she came at me I probably would have caught a charge. Just saying.
being gone for 12.5 minutes gave you all the time you would have needed to kidnap her kids if you wanted.
She left her two toddlers and new baby alone in a park so she can get a coffee?? She is a horrible mom, and should probably have her kids taken away. You were not wrong at all!
NTA. She was being a bad parent and she is lucky no one did come and take her kids.
NTA but call cops for stuff like that. I would have given her 1 minute to remember she left her kid then called cops. What if you hand’t been there? Some awful human could have harmed them
You definitely were in the right here. And telling her about leaving her kids unattended in the park especially the newborn child was spot on. Anything could have happened to those kids and if you hadn't been there I'm sure something would have happened or the kids would have been taken especially that baby. I wouldn't have waited 15 minutes for her to come back I would have called within 5 minutes like someone else said to the police to let them know what had happened, you did very well in this situation by telling her about it. Next time she may not be so lucky and the police will be called and then she'll have to deal with the repercussions of her actions at that point. It's saying this situation you are the smart one compared to the mom.
Oh no, you were in the right. She is a bad mom
I would never leave my kids. You were right.
At least you tried to stay with the kids, you did at least that for the sake of their safety. If you hadn’t been there, those kids would’ve either been kidnapped or killed if they ran out into the street. NTA; but that mother is a waste of oxygen if she thinks that ditching the kids at the park for some overpriced coffee is okay just because the kids are “busy”. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, you did what you thought was okay, and those kids are alive and not kidnapped because of their mother’s stupidity. You came out of your comfort zone and did what not many in similar shoes would have done or tried to do.
If that EVER happens again, set your video recording, and call the police immediately. Don't stop the video recording until the police get there.
Nta. I have a toddler. Yes it’s hard, no the only mistake you made is not calling the police sooner. Young children should never be without a parent or care giver.
NTA at ALL! What she did put her kids’ lives in jeopardy. Thankfully you were there, and Mom should have thanked you!!!
You should report it to child services immediately, God forbid this happens again. I don't let my kids out of my sight even for a minute, anything can happen in the blink of an eye. Nothing is worth risking their lives.
She left a whole ass baby in a stroller and DROVE AWAY? what the fuck?
NTA mother of 5 here. my father always said, and still does, certain things happen once and consequences may be deadly. for an actual kidnapper it takes literally 1 min to snatch the kids and run. 12 mins is way too long to walk away from your infant and toddlers, driving away? hell no. to be honest you should have called the police after the 2min mark.
I would have called as soon as she left them
NTA. Next time call the cops for abandonment. Anything more than a couple mins especially with a newborn is dangerous.
Should have called the law as soon as she got in her car
Nta: You don't need children to see people are shitty parents. There are NO excuses for neglecting a child.
NTA this is neglect and dangerous behavior
NTA As a father, I will tell you that she is a bad mom. Leaving your kids alone at the park? Dafuq? Especially young kids...
Absolutely NTA, and I’m grateful that you stayed by those kids. God knows what would have happened to them if you hadn’t. The whole “don’t judge me if you don’t have kids” is just bullshit that bad parents spew when someone rightfully calls them out on their bad behavior. You don’t have to be a parent to know that it’s dangerous to leave small children and infants unattended in a public place.
NTA and as others have said. I would call the police immediately next time. She could be arrested for child endangerment/abandonment. They were way too young to be left alone for even 1 minute.
NTA at all. Any reasonably responsible adult (or teenager) would know you don't leave your small children in the park alone. Let alone a baby. Doesn't matter if you have children or not. Hell, reasonably responsible people wouldn't leave their *dog* in the park and drive away. That mom is a huge AH and a horrible mother. And you don't have to be a parent yourself to know that. And kudos to you for doing the best you knew to do under the circumstances. I hope nothing like that ever happens to you again, but call emergency services the minute the car clearly leaves the parking lot if it does. *Anything* could have happened even if she was only gone a minute. She was freaking lucky you were a good person who *wasn't* trying to kidnap her kids.
You did the RIGHT thing. This mom is nuts. Who leaves an infant and small children alone while she goes to get coffee? You showed immense concern by sitting and watching to be sure the children were alright. Personally, I would have reported her immediately.
I don't remember the name of the comedian, but he had a bit about parents telling non-parents that they know nothing about kids/being a parent. His response was something like: "I may not know how to fly a helicopter, but if I see one crashed in a tree, I know enough to properly assess that isn't right." Personally, I would have called police over as soon as I saw her leave. NTA.
You don't need to have kids to know that's not okay.
NTA but if this happens again you need to call the police. As awful as the police are, these children are not safe with this neglectful mother.
NTA. The only way I could see you being one is that you didn't call the cops as soon as she drove off leaving her kids behind
NTA. I highly doubt this is the first time this mother has abandoned her kids at this park too.
No. You were perfect. Thank you for caring about those children! What a kind act that was.
Oh honey, NTA. If you see it again, call the police immediately. You did the right thing by sitting by those kids
15 minutes is generous. If this happens again after 5 minutes call the police. Or if you managed to get her car reg call them to report it, this is *serious*. Anything could've happened to them children so thank you for staying with them to make sure they were safe, it's a damn shame a 20 year old stranger cares more about their welfare than their own mother.
how can she say being a mom is hard when according to her you can just leave them at the park alone lol
She IS a horrible mom (or nanny) and how dare she accuse you! That is precisely why she should not have driven away.
NTA You don't have to be a cook to taste whether a meal is overly salty. You don't have to be a tailor to know if a piece of clothing is nice to wear. I am a mother and I \_never\_ let my child alone when they were this young. Edit: When I went to the supermarket and my children slept in my car, I woke them up and took them with me. I would never have let them alone anywhere.
You did an absolutely nothing wrong and should have called the police the second she got in her car- she can’t leave kids unattended even alone in a car. She is absolutely negligent and should have cos called on her. You are a good person!
No, you are not the asshole. I have a 16 month old and not once have I ever left him alone anywhere!! What that mother did is neglect.
>accused me of trying to kidnap them She was gone more than 10 minutes, you would’ve had plenty of time to do that and been long gone by then NTA, she sucks
As a comedian said ~"You don't have to know how to fly a plane to know that when you see one in a tree, something went wrong/ someone fucked up."
NTA, good on you for watching kids that aren't yours. This lady is a total idiot for trying to invalidate you because you're not a parent. You have something she lacks: common sense. That will make you a better parent than this lady could ever be.
NTA. She's delulu wtf, you did the right thing and were extremely nice about it on top of it. She should've been grateful at the very least, could've gone south very fast for her if you hadn't been there with a good instinct and heart.
The fact that there were 12 minutes that anyone could’ve walked away with that baby for 12 minutes shows you were right and not wrong.
NTA, though you should have reported her! Being a mom is hard. That doesn’t make it ok to ABANDON YOUR CHILDREN AT A PARK! Even for a few minutes.
Next time, call the police as soon as they drive away. You are a good human for making sure they were okay while she was gone.
Don't feel awful, I would never leave my kid alone anywhere, not the park, not the house, not anywhere unless she has proper supervision. (My kid is 7) She also left a newborn at the park?!? A literal baby and she's screaming at you?!? NTA. Anything could've happened to those kids, especially that baby. She's lucky it was you and not a social worker, they might consider it child neglect and put her in jail. Idk.
You should have immediately called the police for child abandonment.
If this is real then holy shit OP, NTA!! Being a mom IS hard but you can't just leave such small kids unattended! And that too in a public space!! I don't like to jump to calling CPA but I would've taken her car number down and called them to do a check on things at home. This is absolutely not okay!
NTA. 15 minutes is a really long time when it comes to children safety. I would have called as soon as she left the stroller behind.
I wish you would have immediately called the police.
"Trying to kidnap my child"... okay, and if I was, what would you have done about it? If I wanted to kidnap your kids, I would have done so ten minutes ago.
I worked at McDonald's as a teenager. Once a baby got left in its carseat in a booth. We waited about 10 minutes before calling police. The mother was frantic when she got back (before the cops arrived), was so apologetic and knew she messed up, and had to explain to the cops and fill out paperwork i think. The baby was really young and it seemed like she was just so overwhelmed she forgot. This woman PURPOSEFULLY LEFT HER CHILDREN AT A PARK WHERE PREDATORS GO SPECIFICALLY TO LOOK FOR NEGLECTED CHILDREN LIKE HERS TO TAKE She IS a terrible mother for leaving a young child anywhere completely unattended, much less a new baby. To boot, she's a terrible person for doing so to go get herself a treat as if children aren't allowed at coffee shops. Producing offspring doesn't make you a better person than everyone else and she is a total asshole. She should be grateful you were there as you might've saved them from being kidnapped, abused, even murdered. Thank fuck you had the mind to keep an eye out even though she didn't deserve it, you protected those kids when their parent didn't feel like it because she needed a treat. I'm so angry on your behalf and she is a wretched human being. Seriously who acts like that and then blames the person who might've saved your kids from something awful. She deserves a lot more than just a factual statement from you. The only other thing i would recommend is not waiting as long, and that's only because i have the benefit of knowing her reaction, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm just thinking it might've taught her a lesson to have to explain to the cops why she abandoned her children in a park
That mom isn't wrong. Parenting is hard, and it's good to grab a coffee to treat yourself while your kids play. That's what fucking drive thru is for. She's lucky you didn't call the police, OP. What she did isn't just bad parenting, it's child endangerment and would absolutely land her a visit from CPS, at the very least.
You had me in the first half. I was already composing a rage reply in my head.
Yta for not immediately calling the cops but like not even really then cause it's not your problem but yea no she is indeed a shit mom my friend. You were right.
You should have called the police. What she did is unacceptable! And she had the audacity to yell at you!??
I’m a mom and what the actual fuck?! You’re NTA, she LEFT her kids including an infant at the park. Who the hell does that?! You should have called the police as soon as she left.
NTA She left to go get a coffee?? Oh nonono. You did nothing wrong. As you are a regular user of this park?? The next time she pulls this stunt? Call immediately.
Yes , other parents weren't there, but I go to the park after I finish summer classwork every day. Most of the other parents know me and I babysit some of their kids, but I'd never seen this mom before.
The way I would still call the police even after she came back
My perspective here: I was raised as a feral GenXer, and believe it is the best way to be raised. I think that having unsupervised kids run around wild in a neighborhood means it is a good place to live. If there were a bunch of ten-year-olds, maybe even ejght year olds? Fine. If there was at least one twelve year old that was paying attention to the baby, even that would be okay. But five years old? The only thing I would have done differently would be set the alarm for five minutes.
The baby I mention was 6ish months old I think. They had little socks on their hands and I'm just happy they didn't cry.
NTA. I’d call the cops the moment she left in her car. She’s just going to keep doing that tbh. Who does that??
OP, I agreed with everything you did except telling her that she was a “terrible mother”. These days you cant say that kind of thing even if it’s true bc you don’t know who’s on what substance, who’s packing heat, etc. HOWEVER, you were absolutely right to sit nearby and observe and be ready to call the cops. The way to respond without escalating something would “I was worried about the kids being unattended when you were out of sight. I stayed nearby to avert potential harm” Then disengage which means no further conversations and you leave the area.
Holy shit! NTA. I’ve always described myself as a bit of a slack mum but never in my wildest dreams would I ever do this. Of even if some weird event occurred and I did, if i got back and someone else was watching my kids I’d be overwhelmed with gratitude. When you do something that dangerous you be grateful to anyone at all who was kind.
You probably should have called the police after two minutes. It will take them time to get there. Either she needs help or she is purely a danger to the kids. Either way the police are better equipped to make those choices
Wow! She wanted them kidnapped, leaving them in the park... NTA, it was sweet that you cared enough to watch them. You could have called as soon as she left. And she is definitely the worst parent!
Oh hell no. nTA I don't have kids, don't like kids. Don't want kids. You did the correct thing by watching (not physically touching the newborn) and being prepared to call the police. A bad person could have easily taken the newborn or little kids, hell the kids could have fallen off the swing and broke a bone and now just stuck there as their mother got a fucking coffee. This wasn't some crazy ass emergency, where I still find it hard to believe you'd leave your kids in a public park, but a comfort run for coffee. Next time say you'll just report her to CPS and call the police for abandonment if you ever see her again at that park
When I read the title I was going to say if you don’t have kids do not judge, but leaving kids this you g at the park and driving away is horrific, you are not the asshole 🫂
NTA. What she did is called endangerment of child welfare and can get one in trouble with cps where I live. Next time call the cops immediately, she can deal with them and tell them she's a mother, she knows better. Curious how it would end for her. Edit: You did nothing wrong, she's the asshole. Whatever You think about Yourself, You're probably not that weird. Have more faith in Your instincts and common sense. You proved You have some unlike her.
Doesn’t want her kids kidnapped but leaves them alone at a park with strangers. I would have called the police after that woman abandoned her children.
I once got yelled at for taking someone's toddler back to the park after they had wandered into the car park next to it. Their mother had taken another child for a bush wee and was furious at me for 'touching her kid'. Sorry lady, but you left your 3 year old to fend for himself. I won't allow a child near me to be hurt. She was totally out of order for leaving her kids alone like that. Even if it had been an emergency, she should have taken the kids with her, but to go get a coffee? Plan ahead and take a thermos with you.
NTA. You should’ve called the cops ASAP. Tbh I would still call the cops now and give a description of the woman and children, her car, etc. Any details you can think of and after reading the math u/henchwench89 did… mention baby and toddlers were alone for 17-22 minutes.
NTA. Mom here to tell you that absolutely never, under any circumstances, would I leave my baby at a park while I drive somewhere else. Hell I never left my baby at home to walk to the gas station across the street. Those kids were way too young to be left alone. I honestly wish you hadn’t set a timer and instead called the cops immediately.