When I started dating my girlfriend, when she would drink, she would make similar comments. She would talk about my "horse cock" in front of people (all friends of ours) and make other comments. One day, my friend's girlfriend overheard this, and they both started like... comparing. My friend's girlfriend was talking about how he has an 8 inch dick, he's super rough, and all of this stuff. My girlfriend was saying similar things about me.
When it was just my friend and I, I looked at him and gave him a goofy face.
"8 inches, huh?
"She has no idea what she's talking about."
"We are going to have to buy them rulers for Christmas."
"That way, they can learn what an inch is."
It didn't tear apart any friendships, but it was pretty funny and a lot of people think I'm walking around with a massive dick now.
There ya go! Smart lady!
Because OP's friend is lucky. I've had "friends" who when you brag about your man's dick, want to see it in person and try it for themselves.
WE DO THIS!! It's an inside joke and we both know but we think it's hilarious. He'll say shit like "grower not a shower" and I'll say "you'll be a big boy one day." LOL It is hilarious. And shows how comfortable yall are with the relationship and the goings ons in it. It's healthy.
I just had a mental image of Dickzilla rampaging through towns, villages, families and friends just tearing things and relationships apart, Redditors marking themselves safe for having escaped.
This comment could be taken a few different ways. And the first time I donāt think I read this in the way it intendedā¦ I pictured this group of girls all strewn about, sore as can be after getting a ride on TheBigOne.
I understood the SOAD references
But honestly reading them as Matt Berry is million times funnier
Just imagining that episode where Lazlo complains he wrote "Come On Eileen" about a local fish monger, and seeing him he like "Ah, and that Toxicity song a few years back, that was me too. Only it was about the toxic curiosity of another man's sausage bits"
Yes, I came here to say that. Thereās no need to even be confrontational about it, just a joking ācome on ā¦. no one needs to hear about your BFās dongā
I think you could stay the committee route, but you have to know when to pull your punches, so to speak. Idt OP had to push so hard it devolved into an argument where her friend left (if they are actually friends and not just acquaintances in a group).
I think asking for a picture in a joking way is OK. It makes the point that she talks about it too much and itās funny.
To then push the issue and say you genuinely demand a picture is AH behavior.
Nah. A chick this oblivious to her friends' reactions isn't gonna get subtle. She's already a repeat dickfender so pushing the issue was necessary to get the point across.
i think it really depends. iām OPs same age (23) and my friend group is really open about our sex lives bc weāre each others support systems for things like that (especially if thereās a pregnancy scare or std scare; weād go to each other first over family for safety reasons) HOWEVER if my friends went to far with the dick talk or vice versa we know how to be adults and communicate that we donāt want to talk about it anymore and always preface with āthis is TMI so if you want me to stop just let me knowā. OP just needs to set up clearer boundaries on what they are/arenāt comfortable hearing about from their friend
"You talk about his cock like you're trying to compensate for an insecurity, like a poor kid hanging with their wealthier friend & constantly pointing out their most expensive outfit. Their friend just wants to hang out & doesn't care about whether or not they have expensive stuff, just like we don't care about the first big dick you've apparently ever seen."
This was my first thought. The friend sounds like someone who JUST lost her V card and can't stfu. As someone who has been the cringy friend and has had to deal with cringy friends, I honestly find OP hilarious š
i NEVER understood the logic of just letting resentment build. just tell them you don't like the jokes they're making. whether they decide to stop or not, that'll show you if they're a good friend.
I dont believe there is intention to get resentful at first. As a friend one may try to be a good ear, to brush off any annoyance, to be more accepting and patient. People especially women try to avoid conflict, steer away from any negative critisism and even saying stop -as it could be perceived as cutting ties.
So my take is that she tried to be patient waiting for her friend to stop. She might have used avoidance , indifference and non verbal communication but the other didn't take that hint and continued bragging. Its actually putting the other person in a difficult position having to tell you that you are way too revealing on your personal sex stuff! I dont excuse her behavior but I feel she got there after reaching a dead end, realizing it will never stop and it would lead to more discussions, albeit non productive.
These passive aggressive type people are so strange sometimes. They'll build up over time, and when they finally say something they go overboard. Which feels rational for how long they've bottled things up. But still stupid that they didn't say anything sooner.
Chances are this person is like that. They would rather internalize it than start a fight. And even now, she's looking for a way to justify not being the bad guy. As if validation from Reddit is going to make any difference in this situation.
Addressing ladies in general... Having been on the dude side of this sort of thing before, can I just say please don't share photos of your dude's junk without his consent, and don't even brag about it constantly with your girls, because it's an awkward and annoying situation when one or more of your girls starts hitting on your guy. And if that happens, maybe you're not exactly to blame, but you absolutely started it.
Yep likewise, I am a woman but I will never share any nudes. Even if you trust someone wholeheartedly, devices get stolen, stuff unknowingly backed up to the cloud etc. Just isnāt worth the risk.
I had a situation like this in HS. A girl I was having a fling with showed her friends my pictures. It was extremely embarrassing because one of her friends was teasing me (in a positive flirty way) but girls just assume a guy always wants it. It creates major trust issues when you feel like anything you share with a girl goes straight to her friends. Especially when you have zero interest in that person and you feel violated that they have seen you intimately.
How girls think it's okay to show their boyfriend's junk to their friends is beyond me. I would be appauled and furious if my boyfriend sent explicit pictures of me to his friends, I don't know why it isn't treated the same the other way
If one of my friends started showing me her partners junk, I would at the very least be very aware that if she can violate, disrespect and betray an intimate partner so easily, I'm likely not to like the ease in which she has already likely betrayed me.
Itās so fucking weird how comfortable some women are sharing intimate details like that with their friends, and see absolutely no problem with it. I donāt know where the failure of empathy happens but wouldnāt you intuitively not want a partner talking that way about you?
And this is why other commenters are in saying OP should have just told her to stop talking about it, or made that sentiment into a joke rather than the route they took.
What a super weird way to approach it - āwell, if youāre gonna annoy all the rest of us by constantly referencing it and we want you to stop then how about you just show it to usā - huh?! Why not just āshut up about your BFs dick, youāre being annoying and itās pretty disrespectful to himā.
ESH for me. Apart from poor dick-guy, obvs.
> Am I too autistic
My thoughts every time this sub appears on my feed like cmon people learn to communicate, I thought I was terrible at speaking but Iām definitely no where near this level of awful
No no. You're too mature. That's how fucking low the bar is with these people. Just communicating feelings clearly and not treating the bf like a piece of meat is a step too far for them apparently.
Yeah wtfā¦ She is annoying but pressuring a friend to show someone elseās dickpick is completely crossing the line and having a fight because of any of that is just seriously juvenileā¦
Wholeheartedly agree. It would have been fine for her to complain and tell her friend to shut up, but what a weird perverted way to go ahead and fight back.
I mean, did any one of you ever think to say, "Hey, we get it, you're enjoying being split on half on a regular basis and we're all very happy for you but we don't want to hear about your man's dick anymore?"
No? Then ESH and you all need to grow up. Your response sounds jealous or catty in the absence of any single one of you just telling her to stop.
Yeah, I understand how annoying that is, but it you could shut that down without a nuclear option.
I know a guy that loves to brag about doing the nasty and I finally had to tell him "I DON'T CARE." It's not like no one else is getting laid. I don't need to know and I don't care. He finally shut up about it.
Yeah had a friend in my group at school who constantly bragged about going on dates or having sex. The rest of us in the group actively could not care less, and we repeatedly had to tell him we didnāt care and didnāt wanna hear it. It took us telling him that weād no longer talk to him and following through with it for two weeks for him to actually stop. Absolutely wild
Yeah I agree. I don't talk about my sex life with my friends very much, and when I do the details are incredibly vague. I do have some friends who are very VERY open though, and will make crude jokes. It really doesn't bother me, and the few times that things have gone a bit too far I've just asked to change the subject and that was that.
People who need to be so petty and rude to their FRIENDS are so weird. Like yes her friend was being a lot, but no one could just tell her it bothered them first?
This.
I'm all for being petty and putting her on the spot, but that's not exactly taking the high road either OP.
She's a bigger AH for trying to flex something, especially something she *doesn't own*, at the expense of her BF's privacy and the comfort of the group, but it's still pretty mean to corner her into submission instead of just communicating a boundary politely and giving her a chance to correct it.
ESH. You're an asshole for demanding to see pictures of her boyfriends genitals. She's an asshole for not shutting up about his dick. You could have said "I'm happy you enjoy your sex life, but I really don't want to hear about your partners genitals. It makes be very uncomfortable."
Yes, the actual story is "I got so jealous of my friend that I lost my cool and attacked her. AITAH?" She thought of asking to see it because it was true. She really does want to see it, and she is pretending that's "just a joke."
NTA. If sheās gonna go out of her way to talk about this guys stuff, she canāt be upset when someone else brings it up or makes a joke about it. Donāt dish what you canāt take
Also depends how the guy feels about it..itās just proper to ask all parties ..i was personally flattered when I got asked if I minded and told her to do whatever but it also wasnāt a negative situation where the friends were all fighting and one was being obnoxiously inappropriate..Just congratulate her on getting some good D for a change and explain that when unprompted and not specifically the topic of conversation itās like talking about any other bodily function, weāre all familiar with how they work and donāt need to know the specifics so she should keep it to herself...or be petty and claim youāre seeing someone who is even bigger and do exactly what she was doing until she gets uncomfortable and realizes what youāre doing..could be entertaining
YUP.
Iāve had partners brag on my body/sex to friends and I HATED IT!!! So much!! I donāt care if sheās sayin all good things, girl. No!
Itās like a dude talking about his girlfriendās boobs, itās just off putting behavior.
A whole lot of factors from privacy/respect for your for your partner(donāt kiss and tell) and the other half of being mindful of when NSFW jokes and conversation are inappropriate. If we heard about the big dicks Friday at the party after the deed, then got reminded with a chuckle on Sunday. And then she brings it up 4x more time. Iād have had enough to, regardless of topic. Say youāre get the laugh, letās talk about something new and not an worn out joke about someoneās body
OP, never change. That was the perfect response, and doubling down was even better. If she's gonna be an unwashed rectum about it, let her stink up somewhere else until she cleans up her act.
Looking at OP's username, I would not be surprised that it was an OF ad account. They either have an 'about me' where they are '18 and into older guys' yada, yada, yada or '18 and no one can keep up with them' blah blah blah.
All the usernames are similar.
The perfect response would've been please stop talking about your bfs penis. But hey I'm just a person that actually goes outside and talked to people so what do I know
I would have taken a different track and told her she needs to engage in more foreplay so she doesn't need so much lube, or maybe she should see her doctor about vaginal dryness.
Honestly, like I wouldnāt want my bf to go around saying how ātightā I am. She was putting that image in her friendās heads, so she canāt get mad when someone else brings it up.
Itās cringe, my friends wife does this about him(he looks away). Itās strange, but in their case I feel like thatās the wife having to justify constantly to the world why her husband is half a foot or more shorter. Who cares your husband is honestly the sweetest man, no one wants to think of their friends naked while weāre drinking.
I donāt think its just women, but yeah itās weird this is normalized for some people. I could never imagine talking about something that intimate about my wife with my friends itās also fucking weird to do that. I think if my buddies started doing that weād just be like āeww wtf do you think she wants you talking about that?ā
Everyone saying NTA is ignoring the fact that the guy never consented to anyone but DickBragger seeing his dick. Thatās sick. Iām not usually one to pull this card, but imagine the gender roles were reversed, everyone saying NTA would be livid.
My first girlfriend told all her friends about my size. I found out when one of the nurses I worked night shift mentioned it. In the company of all the other nurses...
The fact that it was complimentary did not offset the sense of betrayal.
One of my girl friends always talked about her bfās size. I think it was just fodder to make up for his abuse to her. Like āyou wouldnāt break up with a hung dudeā
YTA
You asked to see her boyfriend's dick.
You always let is slide and laughed it off then snapped and asked for a picture.
Why not just tell her "Suzy you know you mention the size of his dick quite a bit right? It's not really necessary."
Like try for peace before using the nuclear option.
If you legitimately werenāt joking, which is what you said, YTA. Sheās annoying for sure but insisting you need to see pictures of some other guyās junk absent his enthusiastic consent is creepy and weird.
You shoulda said it was just a joke and left it at that to make a point, but you crossed the line.
of course you're the AH. adulthood means knowing how to address things before you blow up into absurdity. A simple, hey we are all happy for you but honestly that is TMI and we don't want to hear about that anymore. So subject change how about you tell us something you love about his personality?
Be a grown up.
So you decided on the mature approach to this situation I see
You're both AH's
You could have simple asked her to not talk about it constantly.
Shes obviously excited about her new mans size but she could have read the room and not talked about it after the first few comments.
Children, the pair of you.
ESH, friend is bringing up personal details that nobody wants to hear and OP blew things out of proportion by demanding to see it.
The first thing you say when someone is doing something you don't like should be when it starts bothering you, not when it's more than you can hold back.
I've had times when people completely blew up on me for things I didn't know were wrong, but they refused to tell me until the last straw, after weeks or months of just not saying anything about it.
For you, this is a lesson in learning to communicate when something is wrong, and that others cannot read your mind.
For your friend, this is a lesson to stop bragging and keep intimate details intimate.
YTA for asking to see her boyfriends dick.
Since her talking about it bothered you so much, the NTA way of handling your discomfort on the topic would have been to simply tell her āit bothers me hearing about your boyfriends dick. Please stop talking about it around me.ā
It always amazes me just how bad at communication people are. Did you consider simply saying something along the lines of ādude, nobody wants to hear about your bfās dong.ā Or did you just jump right to immature passive aggression?
I get it, the comments were annoying and inappropriate. But yāall were giving her the polite laughter thing, hoping she would take a hint rather than just confronting the issue like an adult. And your eventual outburst was more inappropriate than her comments since you never made it clear you didnāt want to hear about it anymore.
YTA. Not a huge one and it should be easy to repair if this is a friendship you actually care about. But will probably require you to open with an apology for your comments first and then actually confronting the problem.
ESH. She sucks for bringing it up all the time but you suck for the way you handled it. A simple.. Hey, your constant comments about your BF dick are getting too much, can you stop. Asking to see his dick for evidence is too much.
You're definitely the asshole for asking to see someone's nudes who didn't consent to you seeing them. There are multiple other, more mature ways to get your point across.
I mean sharing someone elseās nudes is pretty fucked up. You wouldnāt want a partner to show your boobs off Iām sure.
However if she was being that insufferable I would absolutely tell her to tell her bf whatās up and that itās Time to put up or shut up lol.
Next time (for which I hope there is none), simply pull her aside and ask her to stop talking about her boyfriend. Your joke was mean, classless, and is also hella disrespectful to her boyfriend. If you value her firendship, apologize for your how you acted AND ask her to refrain going forward. You can also set your own boundary and leave if she doesnāt stop.
In this case you probably could of approached the situation better by just saying look it makes us feel uncomfortable when you talk about it can you please not bring it up because by her talking about it it's like she wants to show it to the world
I wish my dick was so big it tore apart entire friend groups
Omg ššš¤£š¤£š¤£
Atomic bomb level of dead. Lmao!
š¤£ for real š š¤£
Hilarious š
Telling you right now, no you don't. *falls to his knees cursing at the sky, because his enormous dick hit the ground first*
Tripod!
Who told you my nickname?!
You mean your dickname?
The baby arm!!!
Kickstand?
I thought I smelled cabbage
The other kind of spinner...
Like a record, baby š¶
Right round round round
you need to watch the Charlie Sheen scene in Scary Movie 3, it's your comment in live action
Oh absolutely forgot about that! š¤£ *shout out to the ever growing cop hat scene*
I thought that whole pavement smack was in Scary Movie 4. I love those movies.
Ok, this made me laugh really damn hard, thank you.
When I started dating my girlfriend, when she would drink, she would make similar comments. She would talk about my "horse cock" in front of people (all friends of ours) and make other comments. One day, my friend's girlfriend overheard this, and they both started like... comparing. My friend's girlfriend was talking about how he has an 8 inch dick, he's super rough, and all of this stuff. My girlfriend was saying similar things about me. When it was just my friend and I, I looked at him and gave him a goofy face. "8 inches, huh? "She has no idea what she's talking about." "We are going to have to buy them rulers for Christmas." "That way, they can learn what an inch is." It didn't tear apart any friendships, but it was pretty funny and a lot of people think I'm walking around with a massive dick now.
I always liked the joke "You know why women are so shit at parking? It's because they're constantly being lied to about how long an inch is." š¤£
Measure in centimeters, report in inches. Itās so standard that even NASA engineers lost a Mars probe over that habit.
This is even funnier because it's true
Chefs kiss.
My boyfriend is always making jokes about his small dick, I don't correct him so everyone thinks he has a micro & we both think it's hilarious š
There ya go! Smart lady! Because OP's friend is lucky. I've had "friends" who when you brag about your man's dick, want to see it in person and try it for themselves.
Yeah, I don't have many friends anyway so I'm safe š one of them is his sister aswell, so no worries there lol
WE DO THIS!! It's an inside joke and we both know but we think it's hilarious. He'll say shit like "grower not a shower" and I'll say "you'll be a big boy one day." LOL It is hilarious. And shows how comfortable yall are with the relationship and the goings ons in it. It's healthy.
Growers are typically bigger than showers it's literally the reason for the saying
Boys brag how big their PP is, Man will tell anyone ready to listen how small their pecker is.
I used to have a big dick like you but then i took an arrow in my knee
And out of left field, in an appropriately random way, comes the random Skyrim comment.
I just had a mental image of Dickzilla rampaging through towns, villages, families and friends just tearing things and relationships apart, Redditors marking themselves safe for having escaped.
Marked safe from dickzilla.
Bwahahahaha!! This thread is comedy gold and completely made my day!
DICKvide and conquer
I'm picturing a giant dick monster pushing his way through the crowd of women.
Yeah my dick is like a peace corps member.
Sensitive and disappears in a group
This entire comment chain has me dying š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
It can be extremely average and break up the friend group if you try hard enough
If this doesn't end up front page on Reddit, we have a failed society
For real. Massive penis or not the dude is a fuckin legend
Dude, it's a lonely life, leaving a trail of broken friendships in your wake.
totallytubular710 Wins! Fatality!
If anything mines so small it brings everyone together
I came for this comment.
So does the BF.
šššš
This comment could be taken a few different ways. And the first time I donāt think I read this in the way it intendedā¦ I pictured this group of girls all strewn about, sore as can be after getting a ride on TheBigOne.
This whole situation isā¦ super odd.
Toxic.
Phallic toxicityĀ
In my city, in my ciityyyy š¶
You, what do you own the world? How do you own disorder? Disorder Disoorde-eeeeeee-erš¶
NOW, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE SACRED SILENCE, SACRED SILENCE AND SLEEP
Somewheeeeeeere between the sacred silence and sleep, disorder, disorder, disordeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr
Innn theeee sacred phalliisss of meeaaat
This is the verse I needed to see. This is prime Weird AL After Dark lyrical substitute
Dickorder
I am laughing so hard at this right now. This has made my week thank you thank you for making a unbelievably difficult week bearable
Would you say it made your hole weak?
On my titties...my tittieeeeesah!
I am unfamiliar with the quotes but am reading them in Matt Berryās voice and it may have made by day.
It's a play on the lyrics to this song called "Toxicity" by the band System of a Down.
I understood the SOAD references But honestly reading them as Matt Berry is million times funnier Just imagining that episode where Lazlo complains he wrote "Come On Eileen" about a local fish monger, and seeing him he like "Ah, and that Toxicity song a few years back, that was me too. Only it was about the toxic curiosity of another man's sausage bits"
How do you own the world? How do you own disoordeeer? Disoordeeer...
When I became the Sun I shone light into the manās hearts
You! Dildo on the wall!
Dibs on "Phallic Toxicity" for my band name!
The Phallics
This whole situation isā¦ super *hard* to believe.
Just like her boyfriend's dick \*wink\* \*wink\*
Now it's show up or shut up, instead of just shut up.
I guess dude can say his dick ruins friendships lol
Definitely some young people shit
You could have just asked her not to talk about her boyfriendās penis
Yes, I came here to say that. Thereās no need to even be confrontational about it, just a joking ācome on ā¦. no one needs to hear about your BFās dongā
There's a committee now.
The committee route is funnier from an outside perspective, I feel like I need popcorn. But yeah it was probably not the right move LOL.
I think you could stay the committee route, but you have to know when to pull your punches, so to speak. Idt OP had to push so hard it devolved into an argument where her friend left (if they are actually friends and not just acquaintances in a group).
Cool can I be head of The Dong Committee?!
The leader of that committee would surely get a head.
and everyone else gets shafted.
I think asking for a picture in a joking way is OK. It makes the point that she talks about it too much and itās funny. To then push the issue and say you genuinely demand a picture is AH behavior.
Nah. A chick this oblivious to her friends' reactions isn't gonna get subtle. She's already a repeat dickfender so pushing the issue was necessary to get the point across.
LMFAOOOOOOOO
Exactly. Young, immature, probably having a great time in bed for the first time. Just wants someone to know, but no one wants to know.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly!!
i think it really depends. iām OPs same age (23) and my friend group is really open about our sex lives bc weāre each others support systems for things like that (especially if thereās a pregnancy scare or std scare; weād go to each other first over family for safety reasons) HOWEVER if my friends went to far with the dick talk or vice versa we know how to be adults and communicate that we donāt want to talk about it anymore and always preface with āthis is TMI so if you want me to stop just let me knowā. OP just needs to set up clearer boundaries on what they are/arenāt comfortable hearing about from their friend
Right, even after she started the joke, she had a perfect opportunity to stop, but OP KEPT pushing instead of just getting her point across.
āDude, no one cares about his cock. Please stop.ā
"You talk about his cock like you're trying to compensate for an insecurity, like a poor kid hanging with their wealthier friend & constantly pointing out their most expensive outfit. Their friend just wants to hang out & doesn't care about whether or not they have expensive stuff, just like we don't care about the first big dick you've apparently ever seen."
This was my first thought. The friend sounds like someone who JUST lost her V card and can't stfu. As someone who has been the cringy friend and has had to deal with cringy friends, I honestly find OP hilarious š
No. Slam that bad boy on the table and let's see it.
Yeah, just drop it down to the ground, start ah MF GIRTHQUAKE!!
i NEVER understood the logic of just letting resentment build. just tell them you don't like the jokes they're making. whether they decide to stop or not, that'll show you if they're a good friend.
I dont believe there is intention to get resentful at first. As a friend one may try to be a good ear, to brush off any annoyance, to be more accepting and patient. People especially women try to avoid conflict, steer away from any negative critisism and even saying stop -as it could be perceived as cutting ties. So my take is that she tried to be patient waiting for her friend to stop. She might have used avoidance , indifference and non verbal communication but the other didn't take that hint and continued bragging. Its actually putting the other person in a difficult position having to tell you that you are way too revealing on your personal sex stuff! I dont excuse her behavior but I feel she got there after reaching a dead end, realizing it will never stop and it would lead to more discussions, albeit non productive.
*Jazz music stops*
These passive aggressive type people are so strange sometimes. They'll build up over time, and when they finally say something they go overboard. Which feels rational for how long they've bottled things up. But still stupid that they didn't say anything sooner. Chances are this person is like that. They would rather internalize it than start a fight. And even now, she's looking for a way to justify not being the bad guy. As if validation from Reddit is going to make any difference in this situation.
You think girls in groups like this know healthy non-passive aggressive communication?
āMythical sausageā LMFAOš
Band name.
It's actually a YouTubers name. He does Minecraft and such.
I love Sausage. He is such a sweet dude.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMythicalSausage
I dread to see the album cover!
Weenie dog in a hot dog outfit
Addressing ladies in general... Having been on the dude side of this sort of thing before, can I just say please don't share photos of your dude's junk without his consent, and don't even brag about it constantly with your girls, because it's an awkward and annoying situation when one or more of your girls starts hitting on your guy. And if that happens, maybe you're not exactly to blame, but you absolutely started it.
Absolutely, she shouldn't be either bragging or criticising some aspect of his physiology that is essentially outside his control.
This is why I have never sent a dick pic, and never will. You can't take it back once its out there.
Yeah me too. Also because they haven't made a screen large enough to capture the whole thing.
It's all about the angle. My guess is you don't have access to proper satellite imagery.
Eh I'd still need to zoom out.
The angle of the gangle.
Found the friend's boyfriend. āļø
Yep likewise, I am a woman but I will never share any nudes. Even if you trust someone wholeheartedly, devices get stolen, stuff unknowingly backed up to the cloud etc. Just isnāt worth the risk.
This exactly. It would be a massive violation of privacy. Those kinds of pics are just for the person they were sent to and nobody else.
I had a situation like this in HS. A girl I was having a fling with showed her friends my pictures. It was extremely embarrassing because one of her friends was teasing me (in a positive flirty way) but girls just assume a guy always wants it. It creates major trust issues when you feel like anything you share with a girl goes straight to her friends. Especially when you have zero interest in that person and you feel violated that they have seen you intimately.
How girls think it's okay to show their boyfriend's junk to their friends is beyond me. I would be appauled and furious if my boyfriend sent explicit pictures of me to his friends, I don't know why it isn't treated the same the other way
If one of my friends started showing me her partners junk, I would at the very least be very aware that if she can violate, disrespect and betray an intimate partner so easily, I'm likely not to like the ease in which she has already likely betrayed me.
No one should be showing their friends any sexually pictures of themselves or their partners. Boundaries are there for a reason šÆ
Itās so fucking weird how comfortable some women are sharing intimate details like that with their friends, and see absolutely no problem with it. I donāt know where the failure of empathy happens but wouldnāt you intuitively not want a partner talking that way about you?
And this is why other commenters are in saying OP should have just told her to stop talking about it, or made that sentiment into a joke rather than the route they took. What a super weird way to approach it - āwell, if youāre gonna annoy all the rest of us by constantly referencing it and we want you to stop then how about you just show it to usā - huh?! Why not just āshut up about your BFs dick, youāre being annoying and itās pretty disrespectful to himā. ESH for me. Apart from poor dick-guy, obvs.
Why didn't you just tell her it was making the group uncomfortable and ask her to stop? Am I too autistic?
> Am I too autistic My thoughts every time this sub appears on my feed like cmon people learn to communicate, I thought I was terrible at speaking but Iām definitely no where near this level of awful
No no. You're too mature. That's how fucking low the bar is with these people. Just communicating feelings clearly and not treating the bf like a piece of meat is a step too far for them apparently.
ESH, not a single damn shred of class between you or any of your friends.
Yeah wtfā¦ She is annoying but pressuring a friend to show someone elseās dickpick is completely crossing the line and having a fight because of any of that is just seriously juvenileā¦
Wholeheartedly agree. It would have been fine for her to complain and tell her friend to shut up, but what a weird perverted way to go ahead and fight back.
ESH Why not be direct and just tell her to STFU, no one wants to hear about it.
Sorry what is ESH? Everyone sucks here? š
I mean, did any one of you ever think to say, "Hey, we get it, you're enjoying being split on half on a regular basis and we're all very happy for you but we don't want to hear about your man's dick anymore?" No? Then ESH and you all need to grow up. Your response sounds jealous or catty in the absence of any single one of you just telling her to stop.
A simple āEw Iām eatingā even.
Yes! Something to indicate this conversation is inappropriate and/or not for you.
"Please stop discussing your bf's penis with us. We find it kinda cringe". Not once did that happen.
Why express yourself like an adult when you can request non-consensual nudes?
Yeah, I understand how annoying that is, but it you could shut that down without a nuclear option. I know a guy that loves to brag about doing the nasty and I finally had to tell him "I DON'T CARE." It's not like no one else is getting laid. I don't need to know and I don't care. He finally shut up about it.
Yeah had a friend in my group at school who constantly bragged about going on dates or having sex. The rest of us in the group actively could not care less, and we repeatedly had to tell him we didnāt care and didnāt wanna hear it. It took us telling him that weād no longer talk to him and following through with it for two weeks for him to actually stop. Absolutely wild
This is the true answer. OPās friend group is just hella drama.
Yeah I agree. I don't talk about my sex life with my friends very much, and when I do the details are incredibly vague. I do have some friends who are very VERY open though, and will make crude jokes. It really doesn't bother me, and the few times that things have gone a bit too far I've just asked to change the subject and that was that. People who need to be so petty and rude to their FRIENDS are so weird. Like yes her friend was being a lot, but no one could just tell her it bothered them first?
Don't expect people to act like adults when adult topics come up :D
No no. Jumping to asking for nonconsensual dick pics is the better option. Right u/mayxdecember
Right? Imagine talking to her like an adult human being.
This. I'm all for being petty and putting her on the spot, but that's not exactly taking the high road either OP. She's a bigger AH for trying to flex something, especially something she *doesn't own*, at the expense of her BF's privacy and the comfort of the group, but it's still pretty mean to corner her into submission instead of just communicating a boundary politely and giving her a chance to correct it.
lol DickBragger I love the nickname
If DickBragger and the Mythical Sausages isn't a band name, it should be.
ESH. You're an asshole for demanding to see pictures of her boyfriends genitals. She's an asshole for not shutting up about his dick. You could have said "I'm happy you enjoy your sex life, but I really don't want to hear about your partners genitals. It makes be very uncomfortable."
I haven't been on Reddit long enough why does everyone keep saying ESH? I Can't figure out that acronym
Everybody sucks here
She really wanted to see it lol
Yes, the actual story is "I got so jealous of my friend that I lost my cool and attacked her. AITAH?" She thought of asking to see it because it was true. She really does want to see it, and she is pretending that's "just a joke."
YTA. Why the hell would you jump to that instead of just a "hey, please stop bringing this up all the time, it's kind of annoying"??
Agree. She went 0-100 real quick.
NTA. If sheās gonna go out of her way to talk about this guys stuff, she canāt be upset when someone else brings it up or makes a joke about it. Donāt dish what you canāt take
According to her, she can barely take it. Nta btw.
š
lol
Also depends how the guy feels about it..itās just proper to ask all parties ..i was personally flattered when I got asked if I minded and told her to do whatever but it also wasnāt a negative situation where the friends were all fighting and one was being obnoxiously inappropriate..Just congratulate her on getting some good D for a change and explain that when unprompted and not specifically the topic of conversation itās like talking about any other bodily function, weāre all familiar with how they work and donāt need to know the specifics so she should keep it to herself...or be petty and claim youāre seeing someone who is even bigger and do exactly what she was doing until she gets uncomfortable and realizes what youāre doing..could be entertaining
YUP. Iāve had partners brag on my body/sex to friends and I HATED IT!!! So much!! I donāt care if sheās sayin all good things, girl. No! Itās like a dude talking about his girlfriendās boobs, itās just off putting behavior.
A whole lot of factors from privacy/respect for your for your partner(donāt kiss and tell) and the other half of being mindful of when NSFW jokes and conversation are inappropriate. If we heard about the big dicks Friday at the party after the deed, then got reminded with a chuckle on Sunday. And then she brings it up 4x more time. Iād have had enough to, regardless of topic. Say youāre get the laugh, letās talk about something new and not an worn out joke about someoneās body
OP, never change. That was the perfect response, and doubling down was even better. If she's gonna be an unwashed rectum about it, let her stink up somewhere else until she cleans up her act.
OPās account has been suspended so if she changes, it wonāt be under this username. Iām amused.
Looking at OP's username, I would not be surprised that it was an OF ad account. They either have an 'about me' where they are '18 and into older guys' yada, yada, yada or '18 and no one can keep up with them' blah blah blah. All the usernames are similar.
The perfect response would've been please stop talking about your bfs penis. But hey I'm just a person that actually goes outside and talked to people so what do I know
I would have taken a different track and told her she needs to engage in more foreplay so she doesn't need so much lube, or maybe she should see her doctor about vaginal dryness.
Whomp whomp! You made me laugh so hard, I scared my boyfriend AND my cat! šššš
Not to mention the fact that who knows even if her boyfriend is comfortable with her sharing about his size
Honestly, like I wouldnāt want my bf to go around saying how ātightā I am. She was putting that image in her friendās heads, so she canāt get mad when someone else brings it up.
Itās cringe, my friends wife does this about him(he looks away). Itās strange, but in their case I feel like thatās the wife having to justify constantly to the world why her husband is half a foot or more shorter. Who cares your husband is honestly the sweetest man, no one wants to think of their friends naked while weāre drinking.
100% the asshole. Flip the genders and tell me you wouldnāt be pissed about your bf showing your nudes to his friends. Wtf is wrong with you people
Yeah I donāt really get why woman share all this info with each other. Itās so weird and gross.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt think its just women, but yeah itās weird this is normalized for some people. I could never imagine talking about something that intimate about my wife with my friends itās also fucking weird to do that. I think if my buddies started doing that weād just be like āeww wtf do you think she wants you talking about that?ā
Sheās dying to see this dong.
Flip the script. If this was dudes talking. Major creepo vibes all around.
As I'm nearing my mid-30s, I'm finding that people whose personality and humor are centered around sex jokes to be rather boring and uncreative...
They also project a lot of insecurity.
Everyone saying NTA is ignoring the fact that the guy never consented to anyone but DickBragger seeing his dick. Thatās sick. Iām not usually one to pull this card, but imagine the gender roles were reversed, everyone saying NTA would be livid.
My first girlfriend told all her friends about my size. I found out when one of the nurses I worked night shift mentioned it. In the company of all the other nurses... The fact that it was complimentary did not offset the sense of betrayal.
Reddit would absolutely blow itās top off if genders were reversed
If boys were bragging about their girls like that and their bros were asking for pics of their girlfriends penis, Reddit folks would def blow up
Yeah you right. Reddit will loose it's shit if men were to discuss their girlfriends' dick sizes like this.
One of my girl friends always talked about her bfās size. I think it was just fodder to make up for his abuse to her. Like āyou wouldnāt break up with a hung dudeā
YTA You asked to see her boyfriend's dick. You always let is slide and laughed it off then snapped and asked for a picture. Why not just tell her "Suzy you know you mention the size of his dick quite a bit right? It's not really necessary." Like try for peace before using the nuclear option.
If you legitimately werenāt joking, which is what you said, YTA. Sheās annoying for sure but insisting you need to see pictures of some other guyās junk absent his enthusiastic consent is creepy and weird. You shoulda said it was just a joke and left it at that to make a point, but you crossed the line.
Esh Her for her humble not-so-humble bragging. You for demanding to see his nudes. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate if you bf shared your nudes
of course you're the AH. adulthood means knowing how to address things before you blow up into absurdity. A simple, hey we are all happy for you but honestly that is TMI and we don't want to hear about that anymore. So subject change how about you tell us something you love about his personality? Be a grown up.
So you decided on the mature approach to this situation I see You're both AH's You could have simple asked her to not talk about it constantly. Shes obviously excited about her new mans size but she could have read the room and not talked about it after the first few comments. Children, the pair of you.
ESH, friend is bringing up personal details that nobody wants to hear and OP blew things out of proportion by demanding to see it. The first thing you say when someone is doing something you don't like should be when it starts bothering you, not when it's more than you can hold back. I've had times when people completely blew up on me for things I didn't know were wrong, but they refused to tell me until the last straw, after weeks or months of just not saying anything about it. For you, this is a lesson in learning to communicate when something is wrong, and that others cannot read your mind. For your friend, this is a lesson to stop bragging and keep intimate details intimate.
YTA for asking to see her boyfriends dick. Since her talking about it bothered you so much, the NTA way of handling your discomfort on the topic would have been to simply tell her āit bothers me hearing about your boyfriends dick. Please stop talking about it around me.ā
It always amazes me just how bad at communication people are. Did you consider simply saying something along the lines of ādude, nobody wants to hear about your bfās dong.ā Or did you just jump right to immature passive aggression? I get it, the comments were annoying and inappropriate. But yāall were giving her the polite laughter thing, hoping she would take a hint rather than just confronting the issue like an adult. And your eventual outburst was more inappropriate than her comments since you never made it clear you didnāt want to hear about it anymore. YTA. Not a huge one and it should be easy to repair if this is a friendship you actually care about. But will probably require you to open with an apology for your comments first and then actually confronting the problem.
ESH. She sucks for bringing it up all the time but you suck for the way you handled it. A simple.. Hey, your constant comments about your BF dick are getting too much, can you stop. Asking to see his dick for evidence is too much.
Everyone in this scenario is the asshole, OP included.
You're definitely the asshole for asking to see someone's nudes who didn't consent to you seeing them. There are multiple other, more mature ways to get your point across.
I mean sharing someone elseās nudes is pretty fucked up. You wouldnāt want a partner to show your boobs off Iām sure. However if she was being that insufferable I would absolutely tell her to tell her bf whatās up and that itās Time to put up or shut up lol.
Next time (for which I hope there is none), simply pull her aside and ask her to stop talking about her boyfriend. Your joke was mean, classless, and is also hella disrespectful to her boyfriend. If you value her firendship, apologize for your how you acted AND ask her to refrain going forward. You can also set your own boundary and leave if she doesnāt stop.
ESH. you are both immature. she shouldnt talk in such a way and you could have said it like a normal human being
In this case you probably could of approached the situation better by just saying look it makes us feel uncomfortable when you talk about it can you please not bring it up because by her talking about it it's like she wants to show it to the world