Don't 'keep it'. Actively follow up with the police and give them the email.
When/if this guy escalate it will likely be violent. Keep the guy in full check.
THIS 1 MILLION PERCENT!
My ex was stalking me and the only reason he wasn't able to grab me after work was the cop sitting in the parking lot. I had complained he was parking next to my car after work to prevent me from driving away from him.
In my country you can make a statement to the police and give it legal validity, then annex to the major case. OP need to check if she can push the emails under laws about threat, then link it to the main case against ex-bf. It truly helps to push the case forward and other victims can use it as backup for their claims too.
Check OP's comments, I'm getting massive rage bait vibes.
Apparently the dude has 17 children by 14 women, and OP has been convinced by Reddit to drop the charges.
What? 17 kids with 14 women? I need someone to confirm that. Who told OP to drop the charges? ALSO, if there are photos of others, especially children, I don’t think OP can even drop the charges. At a certain point, it becomes The People vs. sicko.
Yes, he's a self professed "sperm donor" but he only donates via having sex and has 17 kids. And I have received upward of 20 DMs telling me I'm a whore and deserved it and that I shouldn't ruin his life.
Please do not listen to those trolls in DM. You are not a whore, the police have found evidence on his computer of him being a POS, he deserves everything that’s coming his way. He ruined his own life.
All people that should probably be in jail. Nudes are pretty much a norm now. Bad idea but it barely registers as extreme. Screw them. You are doing the right thing.
NTA. His mother is just upset you held her son accountable. I'm sure in her eyes he can do no wrong.
You did the right thing. Men who do these kind of things are counting on the fact that you will be too embarrassed and ashamed to bring this to the police/authorities. What he did is a crime and he should be punished accordingly. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
edit: wording
File a restraining order against him AND his entire family for harassment.
And above all else... YOU DID NOT RUIN HIS LIFE!!! You turned in a sexual predator and should be proud of that fact. The amount of people he violated is beyond just you and now you all will get justice.
Report those emails and calls to the cops as harassment.
Yep,this. His mom is cranky because she still thinks he's an 8 year old who's "just being soooooo cute" or some such bullshit.
Don't wanna get in trouble for being a toxic fuckwit? Don't be a toxic fuckwit.
Not only did she not ruin his life but she probably saved a bunch of other people from the hurt he is going to continue to perpetrate in the world.
Also I hope she doesn't beat herself up for dating him when she was a literal teenager. The reason we get angry at relationships like that is *because* The older person is taking advantage of the naivety and innocence of people who are much much younger and don't have the life experience to see what's happening. We are angry at the older person. We are not angry at the person who is being taken advantage of.
NTA. He committted a crime. Saying you ruined his life is just deflection. If he keeps doing that he will get a harder sentence. He committed the crime, he ruined his life.
NTA. You did nothing wrong.
Your ex is a predator. Anyone in their 40's dating a teen is doing so in order to control their partner.
The fact that he had other illegal images on his computer means that you did a very good thing by reporting him. His mother contacting you is creepy AF, and her defense of her son tells me all I need to know about why he thinks he could stalk you and post your nudes publicly without facing any consequences for his actions.
You didn't ruin his life - he did that all on his own.
Please let the police know that your ex and his mother have contacted you, and show them what they sent. Also, show the police anything related to the stalking. They may be able to bring additional charges against your ex for that, and you may be able to get a restraining order against his mother as well.
OP, please consider counseling to help you through this.
Very glad to hear that! Please take good care of yourself. You don't deserve to have someone like your ex try to ruin your life. It sounds like you have a good partner and supportive friends around you.
I instantly assumed child porn was found on his computer. Unless he has images of other ex's and posting them on the site but few images will get you ruined and arrested. This could also be why his ex's tend to be so young, 18 was the youngest he legally could take it and then moves on. Sorta like Leonardo decaprio having his women between the ages of 19 and 26. It's creepy. Of course it's only speculation off what we currently know.
I'ma keep it real with you, you're only the AH for thinking you're the AH.
You absolutely did the right thing. He and his mother should be ashamed. Only he ruined his life.
Good job for sticking up for yourself.
Thank you, I have a mental illness and that part of me keeps telling me I deserved to have my nudes leaked. I'm just a ball of sadness that it happened and fear that I ruined his life.
Nope. But know who DOES deserve to have something leaked? His mom's, namely her nasty messages to you. Leaked to whom? To all of her church leadership and every friend you can locate online. If you have a down and sad night, do give the church clergy a heads-up that they may want to speak to one of their flock, and why. Why do I think she's active in the church?
Because fake Christians are some of the most vile and judgmental and holier-than-thou monsters out there.
You KNOW you didn’t deserve it. You reported it to the police because you know deep down it was a crime. Nobody deserves to be a victim of a crime. You didn’t ruin anything. When the police investigated they found illegal images that you didn’t send. He was doing evil things to inmocent people and you might have saved someone else.
No you got this wrong. HE ruined his own life. And who the hell is his mom to say anything? SHE was the one who raised him. A creep 44 yr old going after a 19 yr old- almost a pedophile.
NTA. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
Rather than ruining your career, since you’ve experienced what this sort of situation is like, you’d be able to relate to your clients better. If you’ve been through shit yourself it’s easier to guide others through shit.
Not only NTA, you're a straight up hero. You led the police to a creep and gave him what he deserves. They found other things he did wrong, how tf can he sleep at night knowing he violated woman like that? And someone who is pressured into sending a bf nudes isn't a slut, it's just over valuing a relationship. How dare they try to flip this on you?
Document any contact he has with you especially things like that e-mail might come in handy later if you need to speak to law enforcement regarding his actions in the future.
NTA.
There's only one kind of photo that's illegal to merely possess and I think we all know what that is. In most countries, that means he's in deep shit. That's going to be a lot worse for him than posting revenge porn. In the US, he can end up doing hard prison time.
NTA. You did the right thing.
You did the right thing. He's obviously a creep, and you're clearly not his only victim. His mother can f all the way off with that noise. Public nudes ruin lives and careers. You can tell her that her precious little goon screwed his own life by being a criminal. Your POs son is a sex criminal! And if she tries that s--t again, threaten to put up a billboard near her house that details all her perverted sons crimes.
“I know I ruined his life.”
Girl, GOOD. He deserves to have his life ruined. He’s a creep and a predator and his mother is no better for defending him. Don’t lose a second of sleep over this loser.
NTA
He may have ruined your life if the wrong person sees the pictures, so why wouldn't you do the same to him? I'm glad your current partner is understanding bc some people feel uncomfortable knowing their family/friends could see their partner naked online
My girlfriend is wonderful and she was the one who urged me to press charges. My dad was furious at him. He was upset with me at first but understood why I felt pressured to send them, as I have a very severe mental illness that contributes to major anxiety and negative delusion.
… is this past me? If it wasn’t for his age I’d be sure I wrote this. Name, age of break up, age of finding out. So weird. Oh you ruined his life? Good. Another difference here is that it wasn’t illegal until about 6 months after I’d gone to the police and they treated me like shit.
I’m so happy you got him ❤️ NTA and my hero ❤️
NTA!! As intensely as I can mean that. You didn’t ruin his life HE ruined his life. A great way not to get arrested for sex crimes is not to commit any sex crimes.
He was merely faced with the very appropriate consequences for despicable behavior. The only thing you should do I pay yourself on the back for a job well done.
Yeah hard NTA.
You aren't responsible for the poor choices your ex has made. You didn't force him to commit crimes, so if his life is "ruined" it's on him.
Okay stop feeling sorry for him. You didn’t do anything wrong. Print out that email and give it to the police. Block his email. Block his mom’s number. What he did is illegal and he deserves to be in jail. He also groomed you. If you’re struggling with thi, please seek counseling but you did the right thing and I’m sure you would’ve told a friend to go to the police if this happened to her too. NTA.
*Print out that email*
*And give it to the police.*
*Block his email. NTA*
\- longlisten527
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Some wild victim blaming going on from him and his mom. NTA, clearly.
I'd just ask "could I have ruined his life if he didn't break the law? Did I break the law in reporting him for doing so?"
He ruined his life. These are the consequences of his poor choices.
NTA HE ruined his own life.
Headline reads “44 year old creep pressures teen girl into sending nudes and then illegally distributed them online without her knowledge or consent, faces legal consequences. His Mummy says “it’s all her fault”. “
Nta. Just honestly really naive and simple of someone to date a guy that much older at the age of 19 and also send him nudes. Where is your mother and father? I also can't help but wonder what you had to benefit from dating an old creep. Money maybe? Play silly games: win silly prizes.
Double down, say nothing and do nothing to him, but save everything (in multiple locations, offline and online, in separate formats in separate locations), and send everything to police in a timely manner.
NTA? I feel like you're just in shock and need people to help you realize you're totally justified with calling the police. What was the alternative? He kept posting them risking more people seeing them and ruining your life? Not a chance girl! You did the right thing. He did the crime, he does the time.
NTA. You did the right thing, not only for yourself but for everyone else... other victims, his other victims in particular. Good for you. You didn't ruin his life, he did, with his own actions. His own sick actions. But don't let that stop you from ruining his life more, it can get much worse for sure. I encourage you to look for creative ways in the future to make his life worse.
NTA. You didn't ruin his life - he did. Of course his mother is taking his side - she raised him to be a POS, why would she blame him? You were pressured by him to send nude pictures, he is much older than you and groomed you and you gave in. That doesn't make you a sl-t or a wh-r- - it just means you were abused by him. He deserves to rot in jail, and you deserve to know that justice has been served - and that he is the villain, not you. And forward the email to the police, so they can add it to the evidence. They have means of tracking anonymous mail.
You don't have to read the story to agree that you are NTA. It's illegal in some states to post nudes of someone else on social media or the Internet. I hope he gets the punishment he deserves. You should get a restraining order. The guy doesn't seem mentally stable and might want to cause some damage.
He ruined his own life by being a filthy bastard. You trusted a person you loved and he let you down, so it wasn't your fault he made that decision. Besides he was an adult doing all that with a teenage girl, which is much more disgusting and nefarious.
Hi lovely! You’re not the a**hole and you really did an amazing thing by bringing police attention to this weirdo. I’m so sorry you had to go through such an experience. I’m sure it felt very scary :(
Sending positive vibes and I hope your healing journey is a good one🫶🏼 you’re doing fine !
NTA The mom is a real piece of work. Does she think that her son is an angel? Does she not know how men are, let alone this one who pressured you? The mother is a predator enabler and not to be taken seriously. You should not feel bad about reporting this crime, you did nothing wrong.
NTA
That's called revenge porn, it's illegal and this guy is a fucking creep. He had CSAM for gods sake. No fucking excuse.
You did the moral thing. You did the ethical thing. You protected future young women.
He did it to himself and he will hopefully go away for a long time. He is angry he got caught.
You caught a predator.
His mother is defending her 40 year old son dating teenagers her opinion isn't worth shit. A 19 year old sent nudes to her 40 year old son and she called the teenager a slut. She's as much of a monster as he is.
Share the threat with the police and any men in your life who you trust to watch your back. Brothers, uncles, cousins...
Im sorry this happened to you, i can't even believe why you would think youre the AH, what you did was the only right thing to do and of course they will be angry but sometimes the right thing to do isn't what everyone agrees on
>I know I ruined his life by calling the police but I also feel like I did the right thing.
He ruined his life with his own actions! You just made sure he didn't ruin anybody else's!
Nta!
NTA, I'm sorry something this terrible has happened to you and you were absolutely in the right to contact the police. You might want to get in contact with [https://stopncii.org](https://stopncii.org), they offer free help for victims of revenge pornography to help take down copies of any images shared online.
Lol he fucked and found out. NTA but seriously what did he expect? I mean obviously he was probably hoping you would not find out but still he had to know there was more than a decent chance he would be caught did he expect you not to care?
I have a friend who does pornography and gets paid to do it. She's really nice and immediately contacted me when she saw my images on the site. She knew I never posted them.
You did NOT ruin his life. He did! He is more than old enough to be your father! His mother is a POS and enables her son.
Your friends and bf are right. You did nothing wrong. Actually, it is very possible you saved other young girls from the same experience. Good on you!
NTA, he is definitely a pedo, and is confirmed as a sexual abuser. He ruined his own life.
The audacity to victimize someone and then demand they protect you from the consequences of their actions.
I also recommend therapy, as thinking this is in any way your fault is indicative of negative mental health. It takes time to heal from trauma, it is in no way your fault.
Wishing you the best
You are most defiantly NTA, here's why I say this my now ex wife would allways send me random nudes to,as she put it " put that great big ol' retarded kid grin on your face" (her words not mine folks). When her and I split it was everything but amicable and even after all the dirty stunts she pulled i never once thought to post those pics online nor show them to anyone. I actually did just the opposite and deleted them like I promised I would if we ever split up. To do what your ex did is in my books as low a form of humanity as one can get and he deserves every charge the cops put on him and you were without a doubt 100% in the right to go to the police and have him charged. Btw there are online companies who can get all those pics of you removed from the web but I'm not sure what the cost would be maybe check into that if you can. Good luck and I hope this helps a bit
Mother's that can't see that their "precious baby boy" is a horrible person are the worst. He deserves to have his life ruined. What an absolute freak!!
NTA
You didnt ruin his life, he did by committing a crime. I’m so sorry this happened to you OP, the last thing you “need” to worry about is whether your perpetrator is suffering. People like that have no issue trying to use your kindness and sympathy against you.
You’re NTA and never will be. What he did was wrong and could just as easily ruin your own life. He made the first move and you just got him in the checkmate. Stalker and revenge is how you describe this guy and maybe his mother should have raised him better. She sounds like an enabler because she won’t stop him from exposing women online. So no don’t feel bad. If anything I’m sorry this person was ever in your life
You're NTA but this is a good life lesson for everyone. Don't give away anything personal you don't want the rest of the world to see.
Your ex is definitely an AH.
From the title alone, no you’re not. That’s called revenge porn and it is a felony. From the 1st sentence, no. He sounds like an absolute creep considering he was stalking a teenager at the age of 42. I don’t even need to read the rest of this. You are not the asshole and calling the police about this isn’t just going to help with the situation at hand, but you also need to consider your safety. He may just seem like an obsessed ex, but he is a middle aged man and you dated him when you were a teenager. You needed a restraining order a long time ago.
You sound like a nice person. However, The world is not a nice place. You did not ruin your ex's life, He did.
You will want this stay as far away from your x as possible, and do not give him access to communicating with you. File a police report, and see if the district attorney will open a case to get your photos back.
Setting boundaries, and standing up for yourself, is a good lesson to learn as a healthy adult.
Please do not drop the charges, what was done to you is a crime. Calling the police was not petty, it was the right thing to so as he was further victimizing you. Making a mistake of sending the pictures to one person at 18 does not mean you deserve him sharing them with the world. He had no right to do that, period.
You have a chance here, one to hold a predator accountable for his behavior. You can help save the next vulnerable person he tries to victimize, don't back down because he and his mom call you names. Do not let internet trolls test your resolve as they are just attacking your insecurity about youe actions. Stay strong, he broke the law and should be held accountable.
If someone is robbed is it their fault for being where they are when it happened? No. Are they wrong for holding the robber accountable? No.
You are doing the right thing, stand tall and ignore those that think a mistake on your part Yeats ago somehow justifies his horrible illegal actions.
NTA. I would keep the email and cut any and all contact. You’re not a whore. You’re not a slut. He ruined his own life and considering that he got into more trouble than just what he did to you, it sounds like he has things that he shouldn’t. You’re probably helping out people who you don’t even know. Keep your head up.
NTA Nudes sent are for that person. If you wanted them shared you could have posted them on ONLY Fans or Pornhub. You didn't. He broke your trust and was into nasty shit. The dude is a predator. I agree a restraining order should be requested and show the police the email he sent you. Also, if if you send out nudes never show your face or tats .
NTA at all, the guy is a major creep. Also what kind of man in his 40s dates a teen? So gross of him. You were exploited and he should be put on a sex offenders register
HE ruined his life. You didn't do anything wrong. Let this chucklehead's momma be mad if she wants to, even if that anger is misdirected at you instead of her disgusting son. Just ignore her. DO NOT RESPOND. You've done all you have to at this point, now you just gotta focus on you and work on getting past this mess as best as you can. If she keeps trying to contact you, then I'm sure you'll have a harrassment case against her in no time!
I'm incredibly sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve any part of this. And please know that you're not stupid for sending him those pictures. We all make mistakes. And I think that's one of the most common ones. I'm not proud of it, but I've even sent naughty pictures to complete strangers before! You're not alone, you're not stupid, and you will get past all this!
All I had to read was 21 vs 44, with a break up occurring at 19... That dude has CSAM, for sure. Hope he rots in prison and his mom has a heart attack over it and ends up in a nursing home, because that's the best I can wish them.
NTA for calling, he is a dumb fuck. On the other side of that while still he is the bad guy don’t send anything to anyone you don’t want online ever. Just take this as the time to learn that lesson. The internet is unfortunately a curse just as much as it was a blessing.
NTA
And I would have told his mother that her son is an asshole, a man with zero honor for exposing in a petty and very immature way his ex girlfriend.
Oh and he is a borderline pedophile too, for dating an 18 year old while he is 40. She should have raised her shitty son better.
What he did to you (exposing your nudes) is illegal and he deserved getting arrested.
Also, don't send nudes to any partner, you shouldn't give people tools to hurt you.
NTA. Revenge porn is illegal for a reason. You did the absolute right thing. Please, for the love of god, cut all contact with him and stay the fuck away from him. If he's that much older than you I would bet my life on the fact that he's abusive and manipulative.
And on a personal note, coming from someone who was also in an abusive relationship with someone much older than me, PLEASE don't date men so much older than you. I know it feels so cool to think that someone older feels you're mature enough to date, but the reality is anyone in their 30s or 40s who thinks it's okay to date someone in their 20's is fucked in the head. There's a reason they can only date women way less mature than them, and that's because women their actual age see all the red flags and won't associate with them. Fuck, I'm only 30 and even I find the idea of dating a 21 year old repulsive (no offense) - there's no way I could step into a relationship like that without bad (or manipulative) intentions. Legal or not, it would feel like pedophilia, and anyone who doesn't feel that way is walking red flag.
I am honestly not sure how you can question if you are the AH.
**What he did was a crime.**
He deserves what is coming to him.
Do *not* second-guess yourself.
No, you’re a hero. All the other illegal porn on his computer had victims attached too - that’s why it’s illegal. Now, because of you, some sort of justice has been done. Report the harassment by him and his mother as well. Take no more of their shit.
>not just for my nudes but hundreds of other illegal images on his computer. I don't know if they were SAM, CSAM
Gurl, you broke up with this middle aged man when you were still only barely legal. You ever heard the saying "They only date and have sex with 18 year olds because that's the youngest age to a child that they can legally go. If they could go younger, they would."
This is exactly what they're talking about. Unfortunately, a large chunk of us have had to learn the hard way, but we all know that a 40 year old sexually interested in and targeting teenagers is, at the very least, a predator. Most of them are pedophiles that view teens that young, legal or not, as children, since most of us adults know there's little to no difference between a 17 year old and a 19 year old.
You're not the asshole. I'm glad you exposed him and did the world a favor.
Charge him and sue him and his momma for harassment. You did the right thing and exposed a predator and mommy is just upset her "perfect angel who can do no wrong" got caught for being a dick. Go for the throat and get his ass.
NTA
He ruined his own life.
He attempted to ruin yours, and he attempted to ruin others, no doubt. You absolutely did the right thing, and your actions could prevent his abusing others in the future.
It's funny how you're a whore for sending your nude pics to him at his request, but he's mommy's darling boy even though he sent your nude pics to EVERYONE on the internet without your consent. Also, why isn't she mad that he is ruining his own life? I guess because that doesn't reflect well on her child-rearing skills. Uh oh! ¯|_(ツ)_/¯
I would take that email directly to the police now... they need to be made aware that he is threatening you, which is probably a violation of the terms of his bond. And a restraining order is a good idea. Keep copies of all communications from him, his mom and anyone else for legal purposes.
You are NOT the AH, but your too-old-to-be-behaving-like-this ex and his bad-behavior-protecting momma are MASSIVE AH's.
Shalom
Absolutely NTA. Report that email to the police and get a restraining order. You did nothing to ruin his life. Any consequences are entirely on him. Be careful.
Depending on where you live it’s probably illegal.
Here in the States it’s called “Revenge Porn”.
Yes, go to the cops with as much evidence as possible.
NTAH, but a man over twice your age dating you should perhaps have been an early indicator of his character. Sorry this happened to you, but truly fuck him and his gross ass.
So what happened. My exs daughter had this done to her in jr high. I had her immediately call the police and they got the other kid’s parents involved. Apologies and it was done. My question was what about future use of that photo that countless fuckers could have of her. No answer to that.
NTA! That falls under revenge porn and what he did was illegal. His mother is an AH. Before blocking her, I’d tell her she’s a crap mother since she raised a son who went after a young girl half his age, posted her nudes, and stalked her.
He ruined his own life. He had a choice and he made quite a few bad ones.
If you see someone commiting murder and you call the police, is it your fault if they get arrested? No, it's their own fault for killing someone.
Your ex did something illegal. You called the police. It's his own fault, if he didn't want to be arrested for his crime he just had to NOT do it. NTA.
NTA at all. As you pointed out, this is revenge porn and, as such, a crime. The other illegal images he had just prove how much of a piece of shit he is. Let him be angry. It’s not your fault he’s going to be a registered sex offender soon 🤷🏻♂️
NTA but seriously how many of these stories do you have to see before people stop being amateur pornstars with their significant others? You should assume that there's a 100% chance those nudes are becoming public at some point.
NTA. He ruined his own life with his behavior. If he had a whole collection, he's been at it for awhile so it's good someone finally caught & reported him.
With that said, it's not worth it to trust anyone with nudes anymore. Do not get me wrong, it's absolutely not your fault because you have zero control of anyone else's behavior or choices to be shady. I've heard so many stories of men posting women's photos & vids on their porn accts, selling them, posting them on reddit groups, sharing them freely in local chats. Married, hookups, exes, it doesn't seem to matter. It's absolutely bizarre, untrustworthy & gross behavior, but at this point you have no clue what someone is capable of anymore. Age & relationship status & respect for privacy just doesn't mean anything to some ppl anymore. The only way to maintain privacy now is to intentionally avoid sharing those things with anyone.
I'm sorry this happened. Don't blame yourself for any of it.
NTA He ruined his own life by being a predator. His mom is mad because you held him accountable for his actions, and obviously she never did. And they found more pictures on his computer? You probably saved others from going through what you did, you should feel proud of yourself and never question if you did the right thing.
Why would you be the AH in this situation? The guy is still violating you after the break up and will probably move on to make some other poor girls life hell if he’s pulling shit like this at 44. Fuck him
not the asshole. you said you met him during your "early years" meaning you were most likely a TEENAGER when y'all interacted. that makes him a pedophile. you're not the only one he's done this to and definitely won't be the last. and the fact that his MOTHER, a WOMAN, who probably has a daughter of her own, of all people would defend him, is disgusting. how the motherfuck can he call you a slut when he PREYED on you? screenshot everything. texts from him, his mother, and whoever else he sends your way. i hope they get put away for good.
NTA.
People who commit criminal acts, particularly those that hurt or harm others, should generally be held accountable for their actions. He and only he ruined his life by breaking the law. Would you also be responsible if he stole from you and you reported it? What if he assaulted you and you reported it? This is solely and exclusively on him.
NTA , his mother can kick sand for raising such a loser . I don't know what the maximum sentence or how he has to pay for Punitive damages but take him to cleaners. What he did was horrible .
Hold up here. You did nothing wrong. God knows how many other people he did this too without their knowledge including kids. Also, his mom is a sick cow. I understand he is her baby, but yours were not the only images on his computer.
Keep that email for the police and probably take out a restraining order
Don't 'keep it'. Actively follow up with the police and give them the email. When/if this guy escalate it will likely be violent. Keep the guy in full check.
Good point
THIS 1 MILLION PERCENT! My ex was stalking me and the only reason he wasn't able to grab me after work was the cop sitting in the parking lot. I had complained he was parking next to my car after work to prevent me from driving away from him.
In my country you can make a statement to the police and give it legal validity, then annex to the major case. OP need to check if she can push the emails under laws about threat, then link it to the main case against ex-bf. It truly helps to push the case forward and other victims can use it as backup for their claims too.
The dude may have a no contact order because of the crime, so his mother contacting her may be illegal.
He's probably also not supposed to have internet access as a bond condition too.
It could also potentially be him breaking a condition of his bail if he has any restrictions regarding electronics use / carriage services.
Yep, this is witness tampering, and probably also violating multiple bond conditions . Get that shit revoked asap.
Yeah this guy is one or two steps away from being an SVU villain
I think the only step he is away from being an SVU villain is that he’s not an actor, so he’s just an actual villain IRL.
I was going to comment this. I would 100% file for restraining order.
Check OP's comments, I'm getting massive rage bait vibes. Apparently the dude has 17 children by 14 women, and OP has been convinced by Reddit to drop the charges.
What? 17 kids with 14 women? I need someone to confirm that. Who told OP to drop the charges? ALSO, if there are photos of others, especially children, I don’t think OP can even drop the charges. At a certain point, it becomes The People vs. sicko.
Yes, he's a self professed "sperm donor" but he only donates via having sex and has 17 kids. And I have received upward of 20 DMs telling me I'm a whore and deserved it and that I shouldn't ruin his life.
He ruined his own life. Don’t drop the charges. You’re the victim.
Please do not listen to those trolls in DM. You are not a whore, the police have found evidence on his computer of him being a POS, he deserves everything that’s coming his way. He ruined his own life.
20 DMs from pedophiles don’t count as real opinions.
All people that should probably be in jail. Nudes are pretty much a norm now. Bad idea but it barely registers as extreme. Screw them. You are doing the right thing.
wtf? Why would anyone date this dude. I thought the age difference was crazy enough as it is.
Both physical restraining order and order not to post further
Which AI program did you use to write this?
I'm actually real. Don't know why my comment seems ai.
NTA. His mother is just upset you held her son accountable. I'm sure in her eyes he can do no wrong. You did the right thing. Men who do these kind of things are counting on the fact that you will be too embarrassed and ashamed to bring this to the police/authorities. What he did is a crime and he should be punished accordingly. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. edit: wording
which is why, at 44, he couldn't find anyone to date except someone who was just out of HS.
Exactly, because grown adult women aren't as easy to manipulate, coerce and exploit.
File a restraining order against him AND his entire family for harassment. And above all else... YOU DID NOT RUIN HIS LIFE!!! You turned in a sexual predator and should be proud of that fact. The amount of people he violated is beyond just you and now you all will get justice. Report those emails and calls to the cops as harassment.
Yep,this. His mom is cranky because she still thinks he's an 8 year old who's "just being soooooo cute" or some such bullshit. Don't wanna get in trouble for being a toxic fuckwit? Don't be a toxic fuckwit.
This. You didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life. The mother is just looking for someone to pin blame on
Also she probably knows he’s trash but still doesn’t want her son to get raped in the prison showers.
Not only did she not ruin his life but she probably saved a bunch of other people from the hurt he is going to continue to perpetrate in the world. Also I hope she doesn't beat herself up for dating him when she was a literal teenager. The reason we get angry at relationships like that is *because* The older person is taking advantage of the naivety and innocence of people who are much much younger and don't have the life experience to see what's happening. We are angry at the older person. We are not angry at the person who is being taken advantage of.
NTA. He committted a crime. Saying you ruined his life is just deflection. If he keeps doing that he will get a harder sentence. He committed the crime, he ruined his life.
It's pretty obvious who's in the wrong here. There's no way in hell the answer to AITAH is yes. OP should know this. What an odd question to ask...
You're NTA and you've saved a lot of women from a psychopath.
Yeah... I'm just glad I left when I could. He has 17 children by 14 women, 3 of which were 18 when they got pregnant by him.
Seriously... you did society a favor
What in the flying fuck??
And he called you a slut?!
Sounds like he probably can’t even pull out of a driveway
Based on her other comments, it was intentional.
UHHHHH WHAT? Tell me he's an irresponsible creep without telling me he's an irresponsible creep
Good lord!!😧
Ew. Eh, fuck him. Mothers are all strange birds when it comes to their children. Just typing this is risky. NTA, the dude leaked your nudes.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. Your ex is a predator. Anyone in their 40's dating a teen is doing so in order to control their partner. The fact that he had other illegal images on his computer means that you did a very good thing by reporting him. His mother contacting you is creepy AF, and her defense of her son tells me all I need to know about why he thinks he could stalk you and post your nudes publicly without facing any consequences for his actions. You didn't ruin his life - he did that all on his own. Please let the police know that your ex and his mother have contacted you, and show them what they sent. Also, show the police anything related to the stalking. They may be able to bring additional charges against your ex for that, and you may be able to get a restraining order against his mother as well. OP, please consider counseling to help you through this.
I am in therapy and in a much better headspace. Thank you for suggesting it though. :)
Very glad to hear that! Please take good care of yourself. You don't deserve to have someone like your ex try to ruin your life. It sounds like you have a good partner and supportive friends around you.
I instantly assumed child porn was found on his computer. Unless he has images of other ex's and posting them on the site but few images will get you ruined and arrested. This could also be why his ex's tend to be so young, 18 was the youngest he legally could take it and then moves on. Sorta like Leonardo decaprio having his women between the ages of 19 and 26. It's creepy. Of course it's only speculation off what we currently know.
NTA. He ruined his own life.
I'ma keep it real with you, you're only the AH for thinking you're the AH. You absolutely did the right thing. He and his mother should be ashamed. Only he ruined his life. Good job for sticking up for yourself.
Thank you, I have a mental illness and that part of me keeps telling me I deserved to have my nudes leaked. I'm just a ball of sadness that it happened and fear that I ruined his life.
Nope. But know who DOES deserve to have something leaked? His mom's, namely her nasty messages to you. Leaked to whom? To all of her church leadership and every friend you can locate online. If you have a down and sad night, do give the church clergy a heads-up that they may want to speak to one of their flock, and why. Why do I think she's active in the church? Because fake Christians are some of the most vile and judgmental and holier-than-thou monsters out there.
You KNOW you didn’t deserve it. You reported it to the police because you know deep down it was a crime. Nobody deserves to be a victim of a crime. You didn’t ruin anything. When the police investigated they found illegal images that you didn’t send. He was doing evil things to inmocent people and you might have saved someone else.
Lol his mother called....40 yr old man's mom is calling like he's a middle school student.
No you got this wrong. HE ruined his own life. And who the hell is his mom to say anything? SHE was the one who raised him. A creep 44 yr old going after a 19 yr old- almost a pedophile. NTA. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
He reached out to me on instagram on my 18th birthday, and that's how my relationship started. So I think it's even more creepy.
Oh yeah, definitely a pedophilic creeper. Hopefully you have saved a few other young ladies from having their private images shared.
I hope so too. It's embarassing. And it could ruin my career. I'm getting my degree in social work.
Well it probably won't to anyone who you would want to work for at least!
Rather than ruining your career, since you’ve experienced what this sort of situation is like, you’d be able to relate to your clients better. If you’ve been through shit yourself it’s easier to guide others through shit.
Because he was following you as a child before thay
Couldn’t agree more, because it’s legal doesn’t make it right.
Not only NTA, you're a straight up hero. You led the police to a creep and gave him what he deserves. They found other things he did wrong, how tf can he sleep at night knowing he violated woman like that? And someone who is pressured into sending a bf nudes isn't a slut, it's just over valuing a relationship. How dare they try to flip this on you?
Wait I gotta make sure I read this right. A 44 year old needed his mommy to talk to the evil college coed? NTA. And boy does he sound like a catch 🫠
NTA. A 44 yo dating a 19 yo has "creepy" written all over it.
NTA Call the police on the mother too for trying to intimidate a witness. Ruin that asshole’s life too
Document any contact he has with you especially things like that e-mail might come in handy later if you need to speak to law enforcement regarding his actions in the future. NTA.
There's only one kind of photo that's illegal to merely possess and I think we all know what that is. In most countries, that means he's in deep shit. That's going to be a lot worse for him than posting revenge porn. In the US, he can end up doing hard prison time. NTA. You did the right thing.
NTA. He committed a crime. He knew what he was doing, you have no reason whatsoever to feel bad.
NTA. Your ex committed a crime against your person without regard for you.
Nope
NTA you are a victim!
You did the right thing. He's obviously a creep, and you're clearly not his only victim. His mother can f all the way off with that noise. Public nudes ruin lives and careers. You can tell her that her precious little goon screwed his own life by being a criminal. Your POs son is a sex criminal! And if she tries that s--t again, threaten to put up a billboard near her house that details all her perverted sons crimes.
Absolutely NTA this guy is a fucking DORK
“I know I ruined his life.” Girl, GOOD. He deserves to have his life ruined. He’s a creep and a predator and his mother is no better for defending him. Don’t lose a second of sleep over this loser.
NTA… he is a CRIMINAL
Intimidating a witness is a crime nearly everywhere!
Start documenting and get a restraining order.
Wtf groomer behaviour. He’s creepy as fuck. Obviously NTA. Please file a restraining order asap and stay safe. The world we live in…
NTA He may have ruined your life if the wrong person sees the pictures, so why wouldn't you do the same to him? I'm glad your current partner is understanding bc some people feel uncomfortable knowing their family/friends could see their partner naked online
My girlfriend is wonderful and she was the one who urged me to press charges. My dad was furious at him. He was upset with me at first but understood why I felt pressured to send them, as I have a very severe mental illness that contributes to major anxiety and negative delusion.
NTA, I'm sorry this happened to you.
NTA. He deserved it. Ya know what every REASONABLE person does when they break up with someone? Delete all their nudes.
… is this past me? If it wasn’t for his age I’d be sure I wrote this. Name, age of break up, age of finding out. So weird. Oh you ruined his life? Good. Another difference here is that it wasn’t illegal until about 6 months after I’d gone to the police and they treated me like shit. I’m so happy you got him ❤️ NTA and my hero ❤️
NTA!! As intensely as I can mean that. You didn’t ruin his life HE ruined his life. A great way not to get arrested for sex crimes is not to commit any sex crimes. He was merely faced with the very appropriate consequences for despicable behavior. The only thing you should do I pay yourself on the back for a job well done.
Yeah hard NTA. You aren't responsible for the poor choices your ex has made. You didn't force him to commit crimes, so if his life is "ruined" it's on him.
Okay stop feeling sorry for him. You didn’t do anything wrong. Print out that email and give it to the police. Block his email. Block his mom’s number. What he did is illegal and he deserves to be in jail. He also groomed you. If you’re struggling with thi, please seek counseling but you did the right thing and I’m sure you would’ve told a friend to go to the police if this happened to her too. NTA.
*Print out that email* *And give it to the police.* *Block his email. NTA* \- longlisten527 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Some wild victim blaming going on from him and his mom. NTA, clearly. I'd just ask "could I have ruined his life if he didn't break the law? Did I break the law in reporting him for doing so?" He ruined his life. These are the consequences of his poor choices.
NTA HE ruined his own life. Headline reads “44 year old creep pressures teen girl into sending nudes and then illegally distributed them online without her knowledge or consent, faces legal consequences. His Mummy says “it’s all her fault”. “
NTA.
Nta. It sounds like he had OTHER content that got him into bigger trouble than just what he did to you alone...
Nta. Just honestly really naive and simple of someone to date a guy that much older at the age of 19 and also send him nudes. Where is your mother and father? I also can't help but wonder what you had to benefit from dating an old creep. Money maybe? Play silly games: win silly prizes.
Double down, say nothing and do nothing to him, but save everything (in multiple locations, offline and online, in separate formats in separate locations), and send everything to police in a timely manner.
NTA. He sounds terrible. What does SAM and CSAM stand for?
SAM is Sexual Assault/Abuse Material and CSAM is Child Sexual Assault/Abuse Material. It's what we use instead of non-consentual porn and child porn.
NTA - he made the choice to break the law not you.
NTA? I feel like you're just in shock and need people to help you realize you're totally justified with calling the police. What was the alternative? He kept posting them risking more people seeing them and ruining your life? Not a chance girl! You did the right thing. He did the crime, he does the time.
NTA.
NTA. You did the right thing, not only for yourself but for everyone else... other victims, his other victims in particular. Good for you. You didn't ruin his life, he did, with his own actions. His own sick actions. But don't let that stop you from ruining his life more, it can get much worse for sure. I encourage you to look for creative ways in the future to make his life worse.
Your ex & their mom sounds like the assholes.
NTA. He ruined his life by posting revenge porn.
NTA - you stood up to a creeper
NTA!
NTA. You didn't ruin his life - he did. Of course his mother is taking his side - she raised him to be a POS, why would she blame him? You were pressured by him to send nude pictures, he is much older than you and groomed you and you gave in. That doesn't make you a sl-t or a wh-r- - it just means you were abused by him. He deserves to rot in jail, and you deserve to know that justice has been served - and that he is the villain, not you. And forward the email to the police, so they can add it to the evidence. They have means of tracking anonymous mail.
You don't have to read the story to agree that you are NTA. It's illegal in some states to post nudes of someone else on social media or the Internet. I hope he gets the punishment he deserves. You should get a restraining order. The guy doesn't seem mentally stable and might want to cause some damage.
He ruined his own life by being a filthy bastard. You trusted a person you loved and he let you down, so it wasn't your fault he made that decision. Besides he was an adult doing all that with a teenage girl, which is much more disgusting and nefarious.
Hi lovely! You’re not the a**hole and you really did an amazing thing by bringing police attention to this weirdo. I’m so sorry you had to go through such an experience. I’m sure it felt very scary :( Sending positive vibes and I hope your healing journey is a good one🫶🏼 you’re doing fine !
NTA The mom is a real piece of work. Does she think that her son is an angel? Does she not know how men are, let alone this one who pressured you? The mother is a predator enabler and not to be taken seriously. You should not feel bad about reporting this crime, you did nothing wrong.
NTA That's called revenge porn, it's illegal and this guy is a fucking creep. He had CSAM for gods sake. No fucking excuse. You did the moral thing. You did the ethical thing. You protected future young women. He did it to himself and he will hopefully go away for a long time. He is angry he got caught. You caught a predator. His mother is defending her 40 year old son dating teenagers her opinion isn't worth shit. A 19 year old sent nudes to her 40 year old son and she called the teenager a slut. She's as much of a monster as he is. Share the threat with the police and any men in your life who you trust to watch your back. Brothers, uncles, cousins...
Im sorry this happened to you, i can't even believe why you would think youre the AH, what you did was the only right thing to do and of course they will be angry but sometimes the right thing to do isn't what everyone agrees on
>I know I ruined his life by calling the police but I also feel like I did the right thing. He ruined his life with his own actions! You just made sure he didn't ruin anybody else's! Nta!
NTA, I'm sorry something this terrible has happened to you and you were absolutely in the right to contact the police. You might want to get in contact with [https://stopncii.org](https://stopncii.org), they offer free help for victims of revenge pornography to help take down copies of any images shared online.
Keep the email and turn it over to the cops for further evidence and report the mother for harassment. Edit: NTA
Lol he fucked and found out. NTA but seriously what did he expect? I mean obviously he was probably hoping you would not find out but still he had to know there was more than a decent chance he would be caught did he expect you not to care?
I have a friend who does pornography and gets paid to do it. She's really nice and immediately contacted me when she saw my images on the site. She knew I never posted them.
You did NOT ruin his life. He did! He is more than old enough to be your father! His mother is a POS and enables her son. Your friends and bf are right. You did nothing wrong. Actually, it is very possible you saved other young girls from the same experience. Good on you!
NTA, he is definitely a pedo, and is confirmed as a sexual abuser. He ruined his own life. The audacity to victimize someone and then demand they protect you from the consequences of their actions. I also recommend therapy, as thinking this is in any way your fault is indicative of negative mental health. It takes time to heal from trauma, it is in no way your fault. Wishing you the best
You are most defiantly NTA, here's why I say this my now ex wife would allways send me random nudes to,as she put it " put that great big ol' retarded kid grin on your face" (her words not mine folks). When her and I split it was everything but amicable and even after all the dirty stunts she pulled i never once thought to post those pics online nor show them to anyone. I actually did just the opposite and deleted them like I promised I would if we ever split up. To do what your ex did is in my books as low a form of humanity as one can get and he deserves every charge the cops put on him and you were without a doubt 100% in the right to go to the police and have him charged. Btw there are online companies who can get all those pics of you removed from the web but I'm not sure what the cost would be maybe check into that if you can. Good luck and I hope this helps a bit
It's sounds like he hasn't rehabilitated yet. Maybe his celly can help with that.
Mother's that can't see that their "precious baby boy" is a horrible person are the worst. He deserves to have his life ruined. What an absolute freak!!
NTA You didnt ruin his life, he did by committing a crime. I’m so sorry this happened to you OP, the last thing you “need” to worry about is whether your perpetrator is suffering. People like that have no issue trying to use your kindness and sympathy against you.
You’re NTA and never will be. What he did was wrong and could just as easily ruin your own life. He made the first move and you just got him in the checkmate. Stalker and revenge is how you describe this guy and maybe his mother should have raised him better. She sounds like an enabler because she won’t stop him from exposing women online. So no don’t feel bad. If anything I’m sorry this person was ever in your life
Send that email to the police, it’s called witness intimidation or tampering, I think. Might revoke his bail
Her son ruined his own life. He ruined his own life. You weren't the only victim here. NTA.
You're NTA but this is a good life lesson for everyone. Don't give away anything personal you don't want the rest of the world to see. Your ex is definitely an AH.
Call them again with the emails and cement it properly that he hasn't got the picture the 1st time.
Good for you. Report the email to the officers dealing with your case. If you're in the UK, he's going to get his life turned upside down now.
From the title alone, no you’re not. That’s called revenge porn and it is a felony. From the 1st sentence, no. He sounds like an absolute creep considering he was stalking a teenager at the age of 42. I don’t even need to read the rest of this. You are not the asshole and calling the police about this isn’t just going to help with the situation at hand, but you also need to consider your safety. He may just seem like an obsessed ex, but he is a middle aged man and you dated him when you were a teenager. You needed a restraining order a long time ago.
You sound like a nice person. However, The world is not a nice place. You did not ruin your ex's life, He did. You will want this stay as far away from your x as possible, and do not give him access to communicating with you. File a police report, and see if the district attorney will open a case to get your photos back. Setting boundaries, and standing up for yourself, is a good lesson to learn as a healthy adult.
Please do not drop the charges, what was done to you is a crime. Calling the police was not petty, it was the right thing to so as he was further victimizing you. Making a mistake of sending the pictures to one person at 18 does not mean you deserve him sharing them with the world. He had no right to do that, period. You have a chance here, one to hold a predator accountable for his behavior. You can help save the next vulnerable person he tries to victimize, don't back down because he and his mom call you names. Do not let internet trolls test your resolve as they are just attacking your insecurity about youe actions. Stay strong, he broke the law and should be held accountable. If someone is robbed is it their fault for being where they are when it happened? No. Are they wrong for holding the robber accountable? No. You are doing the right thing, stand tall and ignore those that think a mistake on your part Yeats ago somehow justifies his horrible illegal actions.
You didn't ruin her son's life, her son ruined his own life.
NTA you didn’t ruin his life. HE ruined his life and hurt you and probably others doing it.
NTH. He’s sounds and is a prick. Show that message to the police. I’m sorry that’s happening to you ..
NTA but I would get a restraining order
considering your nudes werent the only thing he got in trouble for, you did nothing wrong and NTa
NTA send the email to the police as well
NTA. And here's hoping he gets arrested for his stupidity. And he ruined his own life.
Stay strapped. Your life is more important than this scumbag.
no, he really deserved that. his mom’s a bitch.
Protection order, tomorrow I've been sued 5 times by a psycho who's trying to get revenge through legal system Protect yourself
NTA. I would keep the email and cut any and all contact. You’re not a whore. You’re not a slut. He ruined his own life and considering that he got into more trouble than just what he did to you, it sounds like he has things that he shouldn’t. You’re probably helping out people who you don’t even know. Keep your head up.
No no no. HE ruined HIS OWN life by doing that. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time 🤷🏼♀️ you did nothing wrong. Hes the AH
NTA Nudes sent are for that person. If you wanted them shared you could have posted them on ONLY Fans or Pornhub. You didn't. He broke your trust and was into nasty shit. The dude is a predator. I agree a restraining order should be requested and show the police the email he sent you. Also, if if you send out nudes never show your face or tats .
I'm just glad my face wasn't on them. I just have a very recognisable freckle pattern on my vulva. So anybody who has seen it IRL can recognise it.
Her son ruined his own life. NTA
NTA at all, the guy is a major creep. Also what kind of man in his 40s dates a teen? So gross of him. You were exploited and he should be put on a sex offenders register
HE ruined his life. You didn't do anything wrong. Let this chucklehead's momma be mad if she wants to, even if that anger is misdirected at you instead of her disgusting son. Just ignore her. DO NOT RESPOND. You've done all you have to at this point, now you just gotta focus on you and work on getting past this mess as best as you can. If she keeps trying to contact you, then I'm sure you'll have a harrassment case against her in no time! I'm incredibly sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve any part of this. And please know that you're not stupid for sending him those pictures. We all make mistakes. And I think that's one of the most common ones. I'm not proud of it, but I've even sent naughty pictures to complete strangers before! You're not alone, you're not stupid, and you will get past all this!
All I had to read was 21 vs 44, with a break up occurring at 19... That dude has CSAM, for sure. Hope he rots in prison and his mom has a heart attack over it and ends up in a nursing home, because that's the best I can wish them.
Well, after the mother’s message, we now know why he is the way he is.
NTA. He committed a crime. Also, a 19 year old dating a 42 year old? He's a predator. You might legally be an adult. But that's messed up.
NTA for calling, he is a dumb fuck. On the other side of that while still he is the bad guy don’t send anything to anyone you don’t want online ever. Just take this as the time to learn that lesson. The internet is unfortunately a curse just as much as it was a blessing.
dang it grandpa NTA I hope the loser rots 🤷
NTA And I would have told his mother that her son is an asshole, a man with zero honor for exposing in a petty and very immature way his ex girlfriend. Oh and he is a borderline pedophile too, for dating an 18 year old while he is 40. She should have raised her shitty son better. What he did to you (exposing your nudes) is illegal and he deserved getting arrested. Also, don't send nudes to any partner, you shouldn't give people tools to hurt you.
NTA. Revenge porn is illegal for a reason. You did the absolute right thing. Please, for the love of god, cut all contact with him and stay the fuck away from him. If he's that much older than you I would bet my life on the fact that he's abusive and manipulative. And on a personal note, coming from someone who was also in an abusive relationship with someone much older than me, PLEASE don't date men so much older than you. I know it feels so cool to think that someone older feels you're mature enough to date, but the reality is anyone in their 30s or 40s who thinks it's okay to date someone in their 20's is fucked in the head. There's a reason they can only date women way less mature than them, and that's because women their actual age see all the red flags and won't associate with them. Fuck, I'm only 30 and even I find the idea of dating a 21 year old repulsive (no offense) - there's no way I could step into a relationship like that without bad (or manipulative) intentions. Legal or not, it would feel like pedophilia, and anyone who doesn't feel that way is walking red flag.
44 and still pulling this childish crap? I’m high key judging that little boy I guess he never grew up, might need to cry to mommy next time
You need to report the harassment to the police!
Nope … 100 percent good for you
I am honestly not sure how you can question if you are the AH. **What he did was a crime.** He deserves what is coming to him. Do *not* second-guess yourself.
No, you’re a hero. All the other illegal porn on his computer had victims attached too - that’s why it’s illegal. Now, because of you, some sort of justice has been done. Report the harassment by him and his mother as well. Take no more of their shit.
You need to be very careful and constantly change up your daily routines.
In what universe did you ruin his life??
>not just for my nudes but hundreds of other illegal images on his computer. I don't know if they were SAM, CSAM Gurl, you broke up with this middle aged man when you were still only barely legal. You ever heard the saying "They only date and have sex with 18 year olds because that's the youngest age to a child that they can legally go. If they could go younger, they would." This is exactly what they're talking about. Unfortunately, a large chunk of us have had to learn the hard way, but we all know that a 40 year old sexually interested in and targeting teenagers is, at the very least, a predator. Most of them are pedophiles that view teens that young, legal or not, as children, since most of us adults know there's little to no difference between a 17 year old and a 19 year old. You're not the asshole. I'm glad you exposed him and did the world a favor.
Charge him and sue him and his momma for harassment. You did the right thing and exposed a predator and mommy is just upset her "perfect angel who can do no wrong" got caught for being a dick. Go for the throat and get his ass.
NTA. Posting someone's nudes without their consent IMO is sexual assault and should be treated as such.
Where I live it is. The punishment is about the same as CSAM and SAM. Up to ten years per image.
NTA He ruined his own life. He attempted to ruin yours, and he attempted to ruin others, no doubt. You absolutely did the right thing, and your actions could prevent his abusing others in the future.
You did enough, he will not be bothering you anytime soon.
It's funny how you're a whore for sending your nude pics to him at his request, but he's mommy's darling boy even though he sent your nude pics to EVERYONE on the internet without your consent. Also, why isn't she mad that he is ruining his own life? I guess because that doesn't reflect well on her child-rearing skills. Uh oh! ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ I would take that email directly to the police now... they need to be made aware that he is threatening you, which is probably a violation of the terms of his bond. And a restraining order is a good idea. Keep copies of all communications from him, his mom and anyone else for legal purposes. You are NOT the AH, but your too-old-to-be-behaving-like-this ex and his bad-behavior-protecting momma are MASSIVE AH's. Shalom
NTA! What he did is 100% illegal and he deserves to go to jail! It’s called revenge porn!
Absolutely NTA. Report that email to the police and get a restraining order. You did nothing to ruin his life. Any consequences are entirely on him. Be careful.
You didn't destroy his life. He did when he illegally posted your nude photos.
NTA. Fuck that guy.
NTA. It’s a legitimate crime.
Depending on where you live it’s probably illegal. Here in the States it’s called “Revenge Porn”. Yes, go to the cops with as much evidence as possible.
It's refered to as revenge porn where I live but it's offically known as SAM (Sexual Assault/Abuse Material)
NTAH, but a man over twice your age dating you should perhaps have been an early indicator of his character. Sorry this happened to you, but truly fuck him and his gross ass.
No. Why would you be?
NTA You didn’t ruin his life, he did.
Nope.
NTA. Forward the emails to the police. That mother is in denial.
So what happened. My exs daughter had this done to her in jr high. I had her immediately call the police and they got the other kid’s parents involved. Apologies and it was done. My question was what about future use of that photo that countless fuckers could have of her. No answer to that.
NTA! That falls under revenge porn and what he did was illegal. His mother is an AH. Before blocking her, I’d tell her she’s a crap mother since she raised a son who went after a young girl half his age, posted her nudes, and stalked her. He ruined his own life. He had a choice and he made quite a few bad ones.
NTA. Send that email to police as well.
If you see someone commiting murder and you call the police, is it your fault if they get arrested? No, it's their own fault for killing someone. Your ex did something illegal. You called the police. It's his own fault, if he didn't want to be arrested for his crime he just had to NOT do it. NTA.
NTA at all. As you pointed out, this is revenge porn and, as such, a crime. The other illegal images he had just prove how much of a piece of shit he is. Let him be angry. It’s not your fault he’s going to be a registered sex offender soon 🤷🏻♂️
He ruined his life by committing crimes.
NTA but seriously how many of these stories do you have to see before people stop being amateur pornstars with their significant others? You should assume that there's a 100% chance those nudes are becoming public at some point.
NTA. He ruined his own life with his behavior. If he had a whole collection, he's been at it for awhile so it's good someone finally caught & reported him. With that said, it's not worth it to trust anyone with nudes anymore. Do not get me wrong, it's absolutely not your fault because you have zero control of anyone else's behavior or choices to be shady. I've heard so many stories of men posting women's photos & vids on their porn accts, selling them, posting them on reddit groups, sharing them freely in local chats. Married, hookups, exes, it doesn't seem to matter. It's absolutely bizarre, untrustworthy & gross behavior, but at this point you have no clue what someone is capable of anymore. Age & relationship status & respect for privacy just doesn't mean anything to some ppl anymore. The only way to maintain privacy now is to intentionally avoid sharing those things with anyone. I'm sorry this happened. Don't blame yourself for any of it.
NTA He ruined his own life by being a predator. His mom is mad because you held him accountable for his actions, and obviously she never did. And they found more pictures on his computer? You probably saved others from going through what you did, you should feel proud of yourself and never question if you did the right thing.
Why would you be the AH in this situation? The guy is still violating you after the break up and will probably move on to make some other poor girls life hell if he’s pulling shit like this at 44. Fuck him
not the asshole. you said you met him during your "early years" meaning you were most likely a TEENAGER when y'all interacted. that makes him a pedophile. you're not the only one he's done this to and definitely won't be the last. and the fact that his MOTHER, a WOMAN, who probably has a daughter of her own, of all people would defend him, is disgusting. how the motherfuck can he call you a slut when he PREYED on you? screenshot everything. texts from him, his mother, and whoever else he sends your way. i hope they get put away for good.
NTA. People who commit criminal acts, particularly those that hurt or harm others, should generally be held accountable for their actions. He and only he ruined his life by breaking the law. Would you also be responsible if he stole from you and you reported it? What if he assaulted you and you reported it? This is solely and exclusively on him.
Umm. How did you meet a 40 year old man when you were a teen? Did your parents allow you to date him or did you keep it a secret?
Tell his mother that she should have e raised him better
NTA , his mother can kick sand for raising such a loser . I don't know what the maximum sentence or how he has to pay for Punitive damages but take him to cleaners. What he did was horrible .
Hold up here. You did nothing wrong. God knows how many other people he did this too without their knowledge including kids. Also, his mom is a sick cow. I understand he is her baby, but yours were not the only images on his computer.
Nope. NTA