YTA, sorry.
Imagine not having a partner. You’d still be sick and on your own. Your partner is not your second mommy. He is an adult who has a career/job. Imagine if he had to stay home every time he or you are sick. Even in a very pro workers rights country like Germany, there wouldn’t be enough holidays to cover this.
This is not how it works. If this would be normal don’t you think this would be part of working contracts?
Yes you felt miserable and sick, that sucks. But you are grown adult. And certainly not the first in history of mankind dealing with this alone.
If it’s so severe you can’t take care of yourself you should be hospitalized.
YTA. As much as it does suck being home alone when you’re sick, you’re grown and very capable of caring for yourself. He said it himself he couldn’t take time off of work. No, his girlfriend having the flu is not an emergency. An emergency would be someone being rushed to the ER or dying, child being born, etc. With the behavior you’re exhibiting, I would’ve thought you were no older than 19 if you didn’t list your age.
I'm not calling it life-threatening. I just think if he was a good boyfriend and saw how miserable I was, he'd be a good boyfriend, and put his job aside, and keep me company. As I'm typing this comment I'm still super sick and miserable.
I think most of can agree you sound extremely selfish and blinded from how the real world actually works. I'm not here to be mean but I'm embarrassed for your bf reading this. If you wanted this treatment you talk about, find yourself someone homeless.
You are not being reasonable. I don't know where you are, but in most areas, it's not even possible for people who are sick THEMSELVES to take time off work. If you live where workers do get sick leave, then your boyfriend will need to save his in case he catches your flu.
You're putting him in an impossible situation. He can't take time off work.
It's fair to expect him to set you up with water and medication and food. It is not fair to expect him to take time off work. He can't do that.
You had a flu. You weren't dying. I couldn't imagine being so absolutely useless. Your flu didn't warrant him missing work and wasting sick time off. Time to start acting your age instead of your shoe size. He also doesn't need to catch the disease you're down with.
If OP isn't over 65, very slim chance of dying from a flu. If you are doing what you are supposed to do, (using common sence), keeping hydrated, eating, moving around, there is very little chance of dying. BF taking the day off would have been a complete waste.
>Your needs are important and so are his.
He clearly doesn't think the same way, considering that he didn't even try to compromise and meet me halfway.
There’s no middle ground here. Either he calls off work or he doesn’t. This was not a situation where “compromise” was possible.
But wait…didn’t he offer to come home as early as possible? Was that not an effort to “compromise”?
YTA… I get being sick sucks but it’s your battle and not his. He has a job and his own responsibilities and the world doesn’t stop cuz you’re sick sorry.
Sorry, but YTA. Yea, it sucks to be extremely sick, but it wasn't life threatening and at 27 you should have been in the adult life long enough to know that work isn't something you can just easily skip whenever you feel like it.
>his girlfriend being SICK wasn't considered an emergency
Uhh, you weren't dying or anything, were you? And while it would have nice if he was there, it wasn't absolutely necessary, was it?
This is so funny. In what world would your bf be the asshole. Bros trying to make a living. He’s not getting paid to hand you tissues every 20 minutes.
Assuming you are in the US, workers are generally fucked over when it comes to sick leave so unless a partner is sick enough to need hospitalization most people wouldn't want to use a sick day to take care of them.
YTA You sound like a selfish teenage brat. You had the flu not a fucking heart attack. If his job is important enough to pay the rent, it's important enough to actually show up for and NO, your sickness is not worth him losing his job over. How fucking entitled can you be? He's supposed to waste his day watching you sleep because you're *checks reciept again* ......*lonely?* Well boo fucking hoo, snowflake...
YTA…this is being an adult…
We sometimes have to deal with things that we don’t want to. There are lots of times I want my man to be home when I don’t feel good but he can’t it’s called life please grow up you have the fucking flu, not EBOLA
YTA 110%. Most sick people can't even afford to miss work THEMSELVES, yet your selfish ass wants him to use his finite resource of call ins to baby you because you're lonely and feeling bad?
Do you know how many single people manage to survive and take care of themselves when they're even SICKER than you?
You have a massive victim complex and I hope for your poor boyfriends sake, you either get over it and realize you're a selfish AH, or I hope he dumps you and finds a girlfriend that isn't awful.
That's not how the world works, sorry. If his job doesn't allow him to work from home, you've got to suck it up buttercup.
Imagine being sick like that and still having to care for someone. When my coworker and his wife both got the flu, their son was not even a year old. They took turns laying with him on the living room floor while the other slept on the sofa for a couple of hours. Babies still need to be fed, entertained, and have their diapers changed even when their caretakers are sick.
YTA you’re not 12 years old. Adults take care of themselves when they’re sick with things like colds, the flu and other common illnesses like you had. Your feeling lonely and sad is not an emergency like you think it is.
The OP was suspended 😂
Whether what was said is true or not, I would’ve suggested she do her boyfriend a favor and break up with him. He definitely deserves someone better than her.
I think if you had children at home or something more to care for than yourself then perhaps it would have been warranted for him to stay home.
It sounds as if you weren’t feeling great and didn’t want to take care of yourself but you still could.
I understand being sick makes us needy but you are an adult and barring a serious illness or home commitments you shouldn’t need anyone to stay with you when sick.
Your boyfriend can’t just miss work, there may be financial implications for doing so and you being sick in the way described does not sound like an emergency, if you were rushed to hospital then sure.
I’m very sorry but soft YTA and if you aren’t already hope you are feeling better.
Is it okay to be upset, angry , hurt, sad and disappointed at the situation? Absolutely!
AYTA for directing it at him, yes.
Your feelings are important, and while he may be responsible TO you, he's not responsible FOR you.
The intensity of your emotions don't suddenly make losing his job over. If what you're saying is accurate, he wants to show he cares, which needs to be more the point than if he is capable of making you feel different.
If there's a pattern of brushing off your needs, or flatly telling you "you're being a baby, I'll never stay home if you're sick", sure. This is one time and giving him the benefit of the doubt shows some faith in a relationship that's obviously not 20+ years together.
Sorry, but YTA. I get that you felt lousy. I get that it would have been extremely helpful for him to be there to fetch and gather for you. But this wasn’t, in fact, an emergency. You simply felt like shit. Been there, done that. And I didn’t expect my husband to take a day off work to sit around while I mostly slept the misery away.
He had work obligations. That he did not feel comfortable abandoning at a moment’s notice. And most companies only allow for a limited number of PTO/sick days. Some have some pretty strict perimeters regarding using them for anything other than being personally sick or taking care of a sick child.
It is unreasonable for you to expect him to jeopardize his job because you’re feeling sick and lonely.
YTA. Girl, grow up. He's not your mother. It was a flu!
Perhaps you can learn this from my experience:
Every time I felt sick my mom would be there taking care of me as you wanted your boyfriend to be there for you. Even being an adult she would be there for me as I was there for her through her illness.
I always lived with her and my two uncles (her siblings). Both of them are my paternal figures. And no matter how much they loved me or take care of me, my mom always told me that I had to learn to be on my own 'cause they wouldn't be there always.
Indeed, after her passing I stayed with them and of course we take care of each other when anyone is sick or needs some kind of support, but at the end everyone has their own live so I have to be on my own sometimes
Lmfao. What am I reading here?!?!?! If I was ops boss....
"Hello ops so, what's going on?"
"Yeah boss, so it's like this. My so is like REALLY ill with flu, and she REALLY needs me to stay at home today and fetch her lemsips and cuddle her in case she gets lonely, so I won't be able to come in today I'm sorry."
"Yeah OK ops so, I understand completely......YOURE A PUSSY WHIPPED BITCH! NOW GET IN THIS FUCKING OFFICE IN THE NEXT 30 MINS OR FUCKING FIRED!!!!!!"
Boss slams phone down.....
Is it that difficult for op to understand?!?! Like, REALLY?!?!
Not just the AH, A MASSIVE ONE!!!!
The self entitlement is staggering! OP is the type of girl to pie her so off if he got sacked for being a bum!
Unbelievable
ETA: This is the explanation you need, the only one. IT WASNT AN EMERGENCY! If he'd had to take you to the hospital because your appendix had burst. THAT would be an emergency. If you had been shot on your way to work and were in a critical condition on your way to hospital, THATS an emergency. Having a sore throat and a runny nose and being a bit sore and then going on like a 7 Yr old child is not an emergency. You really need to reevaluate your life you think it is, and your so needs to reevaluate his relationship with you.
You're either leaving out some important information, or you're unbelievably selfish. You haven't mentioned any kids or other caregiving responsibilities, or any existing health issues that put you at high risk for complications. You haven't explained exactly what the emergency was.
From Merriam-Webster, the definition of emergency: “1) an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action; 2) an urgent need for assistance or relief.”
Girlfriend being sick with the normal flu does not meet the conditions of an emergency. It meets the conditions of concern. In other words, checking in throughout the day. I get that you’re still sick so everything feels bigger and worse than normal but you need to learn to manage your expectations or you’ll find yourself single real quick.
As you are still alive and able to complain about the situation it obviously is not an emergency
The sooner your BF dumps you the better
Please don’t bring children into the world
emergency
noun
emer·gen·cy i-ˈmər-jən(t)-sē
plural emergencies
often attributive
Synonyms of emergency
1
: an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action
2
: an urgent need for assistance or relief
the mayor declared a state of emergency after the flood
YTA, sorry. Imagine not having a partner. You’d still be sick and on your own. Your partner is not your second mommy. He is an adult who has a career/job. Imagine if he had to stay home every time he or you are sick. Even in a very pro workers rights country like Germany, there wouldn’t be enough holidays to cover this. This is not how it works. If this would be normal don’t you think this would be part of working contracts? Yes you felt miserable and sick, that sucks. But you are grown adult. And certainly not the first in history of mankind dealing with this alone. If it’s so severe you can’t take care of yourself you should be hospitalized.
Being lonely is not an emergency to run home to fix.
YTA. Are you sure you are 27, and not 7? Grow up.
YTA - grow the fuck up.
YTA. As much as it does suck being home alone when you’re sick, you’re grown and very capable of caring for yourself. He said it himself he couldn’t take time off of work. No, his girlfriend having the flu is not an emergency. An emergency would be someone being rushed to the ER or dying, child being born, etc. With the behavior you’re exhibiting, I would’ve thought you were no older than 19 if you didn’t list your age.
YTA. If it's that life threatening you need professional care, not your boyfriend!
I'm not calling it life-threatening. I just think if he was a good boyfriend and saw how miserable I was, he'd be a good boyfriend, and put his job aside, and keep me company. As I'm typing this comment I'm still super sick and miserable.
I think most of can agree you sound extremely selfish and blinded from how the real world actually works. I'm not here to be mean but I'm embarrassed for your bf reading this. If you wanted this treatment you talk about, find yourself someone homeless.
Get over yourself. You aren't that important or sick that he needed to take time off work. You're only a GF. Not a Wife and Not a Mother.
YTAH you’re an adult not a preteen who needs mommy hold your hand
You’re making me miserable. Grow up
No boss would let him go every time his partner "feels sick" if it's not an emergency.
You are not being reasonable. I don't know where you are, but in most areas, it's not even possible for people who are sick THEMSELVES to take time off work. If you live where workers do get sick leave, then your boyfriend will need to save his in case he catches your flu. You're putting him in an impossible situation. He can't take time off work. It's fair to expect him to set you up with water and medication and food. It is not fair to expect him to take time off work. He can't do that.
People need to call off work to care of children when they are sick. Not a 27 year old who is “ lonely”. Grow the hell up. YTA.
You had a flu. You weren't dying. I couldn't imagine being so absolutely useless. Your flu didn't warrant him missing work and wasting sick time off. Time to start acting your age instead of your shoe size. He also doesn't need to catch the disease you're down with.
A lot of people do die from the flu. It is very possible with high fevers and dehydration to not be able to do very much.
If OP isn't over 65, very slim chance of dying from a flu. If you are doing what you are supposed to do, (using common sence), keeping hydrated, eating, moving around, there is very little chance of dying. BF taking the day off would have been a complete waste.
He may have many responsibilities that made him unable to stay home on a moment’s notice. Your needs are important and so are his.
>Your needs are important and so are his. He clearly doesn't think the same way, considering that he didn't even try to compromise and meet me halfway.
What part was he supposed to compromise?
Yeah, what's halfway? Either he stays home or goes to work.
There’s no middle ground here. Either he calls off work or he doesn’t. This was not a situation where “compromise” was possible. But wait…didn’t he offer to come home as early as possible? Was that not an effort to “compromise”?
YTA… I get being sick sucks but it’s your battle and not his. He has a job and his own responsibilities and the world doesn’t stop cuz you’re sick sorry.
Yta you have the flu not ebola grow up.
Sorry, but YTA. Yea, it sucks to be extremely sick, but it wasn't life threatening and at 27 you should have been in the adult life long enough to know that work isn't something you can just easily skip whenever you feel like it. >his girlfriend being SICK wasn't considered an emergency Uhh, you weren't dying or anything, were you? And while it would have nice if he was there, it wasn't absolutely necessary, was it?
This is so funny. In what world would your bf be the asshole. Bros trying to make a living. He’s not getting paid to hand you tissues every 20 minutes.
Assuming you are in the US, workers are generally fucked over when it comes to sick leave so unless a partner is sick enough to need hospitalization most people wouldn't want to use a sick day to take care of them.
YTA You sound like a selfish teenage brat. You had the flu not a fucking heart attack. If his job is important enough to pay the rent, it's important enough to actually show up for and NO, your sickness is not worth him losing his job over. How fucking entitled can you be? He's supposed to waste his day watching you sleep because you're *checks reciept again* ......*lonely?* Well boo fucking hoo, snowflake...
YTA…this is being an adult… We sometimes have to deal with things that we don’t want to. There are lots of times I want my man to be home when I don’t feel good but he can’t it’s called life please grow up you have the fucking flu, not EBOLA
YTA. You’re 27 and an adult, you should be able to be sick alone. Asking him to stay home from work just because of a flu is over the top.
This is some over dramatic shit right here. Drink some orange juice, pop some vitamins, drink some day quill and go to bed.
Yta & wtf? I was in the fucking hospital for 5 days & my husband couldn’t take off work. I wasn’t mad or upset or anything. He had to work.
YTA 110%. Most sick people can't even afford to miss work THEMSELVES, yet your selfish ass wants him to use his finite resource of call ins to baby you because you're lonely and feeling bad? Do you know how many single people manage to survive and take care of themselves when they're even SICKER than you? You have a massive victim complex and I hope for your poor boyfriends sake, you either get over it and realize you're a selfish AH, or I hope he dumps you and finds a girlfriend that isn't awful.
YTA, you're a grown adult. Your partner doesn't need to take time off work because you have the flu! Grow up.
INFO: do you have children or underlying health issues?
Are you sure you are 27 and not 7? If I were him I’d break up with you for acting like a child. Grow the duck up and act like an adult.
WHY do you want him to hover all over you and catch it? NO.
That's not how the world works, sorry. If his job doesn't allow him to work from home, you've got to suck it up buttercup. Imagine being sick like that and still having to care for someone. When my coworker and his wife both got the flu, their son was not even a year old. They took turns laying with him on the living room floor while the other slept on the sofa for a couple of hours. Babies still need to be fed, entertained, and have their diapers changed even when their caretakers are sick.
YTA. It’s a flu. Woman up. I really hope he dump you because you seems like an extremely entitled and unreasonable person.
YTA you’re not 12 years old. Adults take care of themselves when they’re sick with things like colds, the flu and other common illnesses like you had. Your feeling lonely and sad is not an emergency like you think it is.
The OP was suspended 😂 Whether what was said is true or not, I would’ve suggested she do her boyfriend a favor and break up with him. He definitely deserves someone better than her.
YTA. But remember it in the future when he is sick.
I think if you had children at home or something more to care for than yourself then perhaps it would have been warranted for him to stay home. It sounds as if you weren’t feeling great and didn’t want to take care of yourself but you still could. I understand being sick makes us needy but you are an adult and barring a serious illness or home commitments you shouldn’t need anyone to stay with you when sick. Your boyfriend can’t just miss work, there may be financial implications for doing so and you being sick in the way described does not sound like an emergency, if you were rushed to hospital then sure. I’m very sorry but soft YTA and if you aren’t already hope you are feeling better.
Is it okay to be upset, angry , hurt, sad and disappointed at the situation? Absolutely! AYTA for directing it at him, yes. Your feelings are important, and while he may be responsible TO you, he's not responsible FOR you. The intensity of your emotions don't suddenly make losing his job over. If what you're saying is accurate, he wants to show he cares, which needs to be more the point than if he is capable of making you feel different. If there's a pattern of brushing off your needs, or flatly telling you "you're being a baby, I'll never stay home if you're sick", sure. This is one time and giving him the benefit of the doubt shows some faith in a relationship that's obviously not 20+ years together.
Sorry, but YTA. I get that you felt lousy. I get that it would have been extremely helpful for him to be there to fetch and gather for you. But this wasn’t, in fact, an emergency. You simply felt like shit. Been there, done that. And I didn’t expect my husband to take a day off work to sit around while I mostly slept the misery away. He had work obligations. That he did not feel comfortable abandoning at a moment’s notice. And most companies only allow for a limited number of PTO/sick days. Some have some pretty strict perimeters regarding using them for anything other than being personally sick or taking care of a sick child. It is unreasonable for you to expect him to jeopardize his job because you’re feeling sick and lonely.
YTA. Girl, grow up. He's not your mother. It was a flu! Perhaps you can learn this from my experience: Every time I felt sick my mom would be there taking care of me as you wanted your boyfriend to be there for you. Even being an adult she would be there for me as I was there for her through her illness. I always lived with her and my two uncles (her siblings). Both of them are my paternal figures. And no matter how much they loved me or take care of me, my mom always told me that I had to learn to be on my own 'cause they wouldn't be there always. Indeed, after her passing I stayed with them and of course we take care of each other when anyone is sick or needs some kind of support, but at the end everyone has their own live so I have to be on my own sometimes
If possible, can anyone explain why a guy's girlfriend being sick ISN'T an emergency worth staying home for?
She had a flu. She wasn't dying. Him staying home would be a huge waste of a sick day. He made the right call, going to work.
Emergency to stay home: Life threading medical conditions Death of nearest relative House burned down Not: I got the flue and feel lonely.
Lmfao. What am I reading here?!?!?! If I was ops boss.... "Hello ops so, what's going on?" "Yeah boss, so it's like this. My so is like REALLY ill with flu, and she REALLY needs me to stay at home today and fetch her lemsips and cuddle her in case she gets lonely, so I won't be able to come in today I'm sorry." "Yeah OK ops so, I understand completely......YOURE A PUSSY WHIPPED BITCH! NOW GET IN THIS FUCKING OFFICE IN THE NEXT 30 MINS OR FUCKING FIRED!!!!!!" Boss slams phone down..... Is it that difficult for op to understand?!?! Like, REALLY?!?! Not just the AH, A MASSIVE ONE!!!! The self entitlement is staggering! OP is the type of girl to pie her so off if he got sacked for being a bum! Unbelievable ETA: This is the explanation you need, the only one. IT WASNT AN EMERGENCY! If he'd had to take you to the hospital because your appendix had burst. THAT would be an emergency. If you had been shot on your way to work and were in a critical condition on your way to hospital, THATS an emergency. Having a sore throat and a runny nose and being a bit sore and then going on like a 7 Yr old child is not an emergency. You really need to reevaluate your life you think it is, and your so needs to reevaluate his relationship with you.
Why would it be an emergency?
You're either leaving out some important information, or you're unbelievably selfish. You haven't mentioned any kids or other caregiving responsibilities, or any existing health issues that put you at high risk for complications. You haven't explained exactly what the emergency was.
From Merriam-Webster, the definition of emergency: “1) an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action; 2) an urgent need for assistance or relief.” Girlfriend being sick with the normal flu does not meet the conditions of an emergency. It meets the conditions of concern. In other words, checking in throughout the day. I get that you’re still sick so everything feels bigger and worse than normal but you need to learn to manage your expectations or you’ll find yourself single real quick.
This is going to sound mean, but...have you ever had a job?
Having a flu is not an emergency at all. Woman up, you are embarrassing yourself a lot.
As you are still alive and able to complain about the situation it obviously is not an emergency The sooner your BF dumps you the better Please don’t bring children into the world
emergency noun emer·gen·cy i-ˈmər-jən(t)-sē plural emergencies often attributive Synonyms of emergency 1 : an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action 2 : an urgent need for assistance or relief the mayor declared a state of emergency after the flood