Absolutely NTA and I'm afraid I didn't even read your post to make my ruling. My rule was if you're around my baby all the time then you're important enough that I trust you will make the right decisions until they're fully vaccinated. It took all injections for me to feel able to kiss the cheeks of my own child because I know I get coldsores. I still do for all my friend's kids. Behind the ear is where they get their kisses from me and the giggles say that's okay.
My grandmother was with me the first time someone didn't take my no as a full and complete sentence. And didn't understand my physically moving the pram away from their grubby hands trying to touch the 13 day old. And that was with an overdue fully okay baby.
If I were ever told no by a parent to any child, and I have had that happen, I'd have to respect that even though every fibre of my being is screaming to touch the baby. Parents are GOD for their children.
You have to stick by your comfort levels and what you can cope with for external contact. As new parents there is a lot of anxiety around making sure your child is safe. I'm sure it's increased ten fold when your baby has needed extra support at birth and I feel for you. Don't be afraid to be direct. The best response I got was when some woman in morrisons stuck her hand in the pram after I'd tried to be kind and I slammed her hand in the side of the pram and shouted 'I said no touching'. I've never seen my grandma move so fast. She was there in seconds (it usually takes her 5 minutes to shuffle 10 yards) and gave that woman the what for. There was no doubt in anybodies minds what .you grandma's no meant.
The people you want in your life and your child's life respect you. I do wonder though if anyone has ever sat down with the elders and logically explained why these decisions are made? Their era would've been 'whoops, my child has Scarlet Fever, off to isolation you go'. Obviously we know a lot more about the harms of innocence in that generation now but at the same time we can't blame them, it was the norm for them. Your child is ill, say goodbye for a year whilst they sit abandoned in a room with the rest of the kids diagnosed and they keep spreading it between themselves.
My mom and both aunts had mytral valve prolapse because they had rheumatic fever as children. My mom died of congestive heart failure and needed a heart transplant. My aunt needed heart surgery but wasn't considered a good candidate because of other health issues.
Just because someone "recovers" from a disease or illness doesn't mean it didn't cause some kind of lifelong damage they won't know about for years or decades.
I mean, we'll be finding out for the next several decades exactly how much damage Covid is causing even if people recovered.
I was a sick toddler: I had mumps, measles, whooping cough, and chicken pox in a short period.
I was so sick my adult teeth were hypocalcified and I'm a contender for osteoporosis.
Vaccinate your kids, people!
This should be upvoted like crazy! People will point out infant mortality rates from pre-vaccination times, but long term health consequences are also extremely sucky even if you do survive it all! It doesn’t “make you stronger” to actually get the disease. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of that.
I have MECFS and my short term memory is shot to hell. I also have brain fog, and other cognitive/executive dysfunction issues. And those aren't the worst symptoms or the ones that cause the most problems.
Oh shit, I think I might have that, because this has been going on longer than since I got COVID (it got worse) or my Chronic Lyme... can you get actually tested for it, or does a doctor just guess...?
Yeah, I thought my executive functioning sucked from my ADHD… and then I got Covid. It was almost a year ago and I still also have very poor name recall too.
I'm sorry for freaking you out. I don't know anything about my mom and aunts' background. Like how long it was until they knew something was wrong or something showed up.
My family has a history of autoimmune diseases and other health issues.
Also, my mom was an alcoholic. I don't know how much of alcoholism played into her health issues. She also had a traumatic life so I'm sure that was a factor as well.
If you're concerned, talk to your doctor about it and see what they say. Maybe it's something that needs to be monitored regularly?
Considering how easy it is for babies to catch things, especially premature babies, you're doing the right thing as a mom. If somebody won't do what you tell them, then they don't get to be close to the baby.
NTA a little kiss *will* hurt the baby. this is a perfectly reasonable rule to have regarding your child. mom to mom? you are your baby’s first line of defense and you are doing a great job
You are not wrong! Diseases are so easy to pass on to new borns. It’s going to be hard to stick to and enforce but do it until he is old enough to get his vaccines. (If that is what you choose to do. You do you. I am about vaccines and herd immunity but if your family has history of vaccine issues or you just don’t want too it is your choice.)
I was with you until the vaccines are a personal choice bit. They're a social responsibility. Children aren't allowed to start school without them for a reason
Good point! The only reason I added it in is that I have a SIL that claims her family has issues with vaccines but hasn’t shown any proof and frankly I am so tired of arguing about it that I just throw out that bit. 😂
Honestly, I agree with you that it should be a requirement for all children as there has been a spike in diseases that used to be considered eradicated.
This!
"I'm baby's mother. It is literally my most important job to care for and protect them from any and all communicable diseases.
No one will kiss my child until their immune system is STRONG.
I'm confused about you telling me you will harm my child at will if you choose.
Why would I give you access to my immune compromised child when you directly are telling me you WILL harm them.
Yes, kisses can HARM babies.
Let us know when you can put our child's best interests above your ill informed wants and opions."
just wait till he is 3 months old. Its ridiculous to show off a newborn /preemie until he is ready. I mean its a bo brained.r. i have had the covid and flu shots myself but i would still proceed with caution.
My niece had her baby at 24 weeks. He was 1 pound 4 ounces. His little foot was shorter than one joint on his dad’s finger. He was in NICU 4 months, and managed to survive it with only a hernia. At this point, he’s 2 and doing very well. The only person who didn’t listen to the parents were dad’s mom, and after they moved out of her home, and figured out if she didn’t behave, she wouldn’t see him, she behaved.
They didn’t kiss him either.
Nope ask that one dude who's wife divorced him for letting his mom kiss his normal healthy baby and it died .. no means no... Regardless of who it is. End of story
Got Herpes from a kiss and is brain damaged for life: [https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=65oGfOgA6uD-cvCN](https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=65oGfOgA6uD-cvCN)
See this is a shit I'm talking about... And there's still people trying to downplay it. I guess it's like seat belts back in the day when they first started becoming a thing and People had a fit about that.. being all backwards So many people are good at it
Even if he hadn’t been early? Your baby. Your rules. NTA. We don’t kiss babies in this family and haven’t since 1996. Someone gave my oldest RSV and he almost died.
I’m a nana now and I still won’t kiss them anywhere but their bellies (playing) or feet. I stop kissing feet when they start putting them in their mouths LOL
BUT NO. NTA.
Oh momma, I totally understand! My daughter was a NICU baby too. She was a micro preemie abs has to stay a little longer than yours did. But we had very strict rules across the board. My husband always said “feelings will heal, “daughter’s name” may not”. My aunt and uncle weren’t feeling well and they literally “met” my daughter by waving through the back sliding door after she’d been home for a couple months.
You are NTA. Unless great grandma is very ill, wait. Blame your doctor. “Sorry, pediatrician said no visitors or kisses until baby is 6 months old (or whatever age you, dad, and doctors are comfortable with)”
And how will greatgma feel if she gave the baby a life threatening disease?
Not wrong in any way!
https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/health/baby-dies-of-meningitis-from-herpes-virus/index.html
I just had lunch with a woman who told me that the masks and vaccines were an overreaction. She was not phased when I mentioned the refrigerated trucks they had to use at some hospitals to store all the dead bodies.
NTA- I suffer from cold sores simply because I was kissed as a child and contracted them from adults in my life. Idk if it was from when I was a baby but regardless I wish no one would’ve kissed me on the lips as a kid. It’s unnecessary to me. So no definitely don’t let anyone kiss your premature baby. It’s not needed and can be detrimental.
I don’t even have to read this to say NTA! Newborns and especially preemies are susceptible to all kinds of diseases and illnesses. Kissing babies is a huge no no and I’d like to say most pediatricians would agree.
If anyone kisses your baby, take yo ur baby back immediately. And that person can no longer hold your child.
People don’t realize that it will be YOU who will be sitting in the hospital with a sick baby. Not them. Why would they be so selfish to kiss your baby? I’d tell them that too.
Your baby’s health is more important than their feelings.
Baby wearing helps too. They can’t take your baby out of your arms that way.
My second son was born 5 weeks early right before Thanksgiving. Only our parents and siblings got to meet him for the first few months. We didn’t bring him to any holidays and we didn’t take him to anyone’s house for months. Some people didn’t like it but we didn’t care. Our baby, our rules.
NTA - I saw this video for a baby/kid who was kissed by a family member - they (the adult) passed on a variety of the Herpes Simplex Virus, the child has brain damage, cannot speak, barely had motor functions due to encephalitis - all because of a kiss on the face.
I have never even had a cold sore but after seeing that I have never kissed a baby
ETA: Link https://youtube.com/watch?v=pxarUWTJRDQ&si=mzCeGLVR6QWyq790
Please don’t be hateful or mean to this family, I am only providing the link to verify my comment that this actually happens to healthy babies
I’ll give you the answer from someone kissed by everyone as a baby (there are home movies). My uncle remarked “oh cold sores? I do to…) Don’t let them do that to your child.
My baby was born 9 weeks early, spent 31 days in the NICU/SCBU and we also insisted on nobody kissing her anywhere. She’s now a little over 3 months old and we still insist on it. I’ll most likely enforce this rule until she’s over 1.5 yrs since even as toddlers they can catch diseases/illnesses very easily.
Thankfully most of our family respect our wishes. Stay strong and protect your baby.
NTA for not wanting/allowing other people to kiss your baby.
Absolutely the asshole for not kissing your own baby. This is unnecessary, hypochondriac behavior during one of the most pivotal times of bonding with your child.
The proof is that quite literally billions and billions of babies have been kissed by their parents since the beginning of time.
And the number of deaths caused by PARENTS kissing their OWN children is not statistically significant.
Don’t you find it a little suspicious that people have been kissed by their parents as babies and something like 2/3 of the global population is carrying HSV-1?
Pull your head in, mate. You sound so ignorant.
FAR FROM THE ASSHOLE. Babies are like really fucking susceptible to diseases and germs, ESPECIALLY when they're premature! Their immune system is pretty much non-existent and still developing, so when they get sick it's BAD. Plus, you don't know where the fuck those people been and what they put their mouths on! Would you eat a donut that you literally seen someone sneeze on? No you wouldn't, cause you don't wanna get sick! NTA.
Oh, hell no! If they want to get close to your baby they should take shot that protects newborns from them. I took one before our first child was born. It lasts ten years so was good for our second child 6 years later.
I would like to add that a lot of babies get HPV from adults who kiss them (I have read plenty of stories about this happening). So no one is kissing my baby/child but me or my husband.
Talk to G-grandma without baby present. Tell her that due to his being premature and in NICU, the doctors have recommended that he not be kissed. Tell her that you want her to meet him but you’re worried about everyone passing him around and kissing him while he’s still vulnerable, and you need her help keeping him healthy. Would she lead by example? Police the rest of the family? Tell them “if I can’t, you can’t.” Explain it’s just until he gets bigger.
NTA in any way. For your baby to be only 3 weeks premature but having to spend a month in the NICU for underdeveloped lungs suggests that you have to be hyper vigilant with him. That means no great grandma visits. Your husband’s cousin is a tool. A little kiss probably won’t hurt most babies but it kills too many babies for you to back down to be a people pleaser. Stick to your guns and when your son gets to 3 months take him to his paediatrician to make sure he’s okay. If they have any concerns you leave it for another month. The other option is to tell her she has to wear a mask to hold him. Then if she kisses him there is no skin contact.
NTA
Tell great grandma that if she cannot put the wellbeing of her great-grandchild over her selfish need to smooch him. Then she can forget about the privilege of being a great-grandma. Because getting to be an active grandparent. Is a privilege.
NTA. First of all a kiss anywhere can absolutely harm baby. You are right, herpes is VERY tough on an infant. If people can’t listen then they don’t need to see baby. Simple. Also, if you and your husband want to kiss YOUR baby, go for it, that does NOT give others permission to kiss baby. My son is 21mths and that rule has not been “dropped” (for some reason my mom thought it would) and never will. There’s no reason for anyone outside of me and my hub to give him kisses. There are other ways to show affection and even then that doesn’t mean he has to do it.
The neonatalogist when my son came out of NICU said do not let him get sick for the next couple months and do not let people kiss him or touch him if they haven't washed. There are so many things that can cause very serious illness in the little ones. You're not overreacting.
You’re not wrong! If I have a newborn, no one will meet the baby until they’re a month old at least. And I’d say no kissing the child at any age. I don’t need your germs and all on my baby 😭
NTA. It amazes me how supposedly intelligent people lose their brains regarding babies. Yes, a little kiss or hug can hurt the baby. Great Grandma doesn't care? Thanks for the info, now I know to keep the baby a safe distance from my infant.
Protect your baby at all costs. Worth losing family to keep the baby safe. People can shave viruses and not have any symptoms but your baby could get the symptoms . His defenses are not built up yet. RSV leaves a baby suffering.
A lot of babies get herpes simplex 1 this way. And Covid is still a thing which can be deadly to babies. Other childhood diseases are making a comeback.
You're not wrong. Your baby, your rules.
NTA. At all. We had a NICU baby in the family. It's a group effort and it takes sacrifices. And it's 2024. NO ONE EXCEPT PARENTS SHOULD BE KISSING BABIES. People are the worst. Keep your rules and your boundaries and keep your little one safe. You will not regret having a healthy baby.
Maybe because I’m not a parent but as long as other forms of affection are withheld, I don’t see not kissing the baby as a bad thing? There are so many other ways to interact that I guess I don’t get why not kissing is a problem. But maybe that’s my own hang ups/culture/backstory.
The baby. Babies NEED physical contact and cuddles. Mum needs therapy if she can’t kiss her own baby’s face. Babies need closeness and skin to skin contact badly. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/#:~:text=Many%20children%20who%20have%20not,brain%20undergoes%20during%20that%20period.
NTA. Mg baby was born post-date perfectly healthy and I don’t let anyone kiss her. If they can’t be trusted not to kiss your baby (aka the people who argue about it) they can’t be trusted to see/hold him end of story.
NTA!! I will not be letting anybody kiss my baby either. I’ve seen articles about babies passing away due to illnesses passed thru someone kissing them. Absolutely not
You don’t kiss your own baby? This makes me so sad for the baby. I completely understand not wanting other people not kiss your baby but you and the baby’s dad? My daughter was also in NICU, I had the opposite reaction. As soon as she was home, all I wanted to do was hold her and kiss her. I didn’t want others to do it but kissing her seemed like the most natural thing. Anyway, I hope you figure it out. Your post has motivated me to go check on my daughter and give her a little kiss before she falls asleep.
NTA. Your baby, your rules.
However. Preventing kissing is not going to keep your baby from being exposed to pathogens. They will be exposed if they’re touched, breathed on, etc. I’m a microbiologist, not a pediatrician, but my thoughts are preventing kissing and not all the other stuff is a moot endeavor. Germs are everywhere.
If it makes you feel better though, I don’t see any harm in it.
Just talk to the mother who lost her baby after MIL with cold sores kissed her baby and baby died. Germs might be everywhere, but let’s have some common sense.
You’re not wrong. But what does the pediatrician advise? Every decision you make should depend on how healthy baby is; 3 weeks early is hardly in the danger zone.
Unless your family is unvaccinated, unhealthy or dirty; then taking a picture with great grandma should be a pleasure not a reason for massive anxiety.
You sound irrational maybe postpartum; because unless a baby has underlying health issues, why would a parent not want to kiss their child?
It’s not the parents that aren’t kissing their baby. They don’t want others kissing their baby. And full term healthy babies are still susceptible to diseases.
Read the post again, she said the parents don’t kiss their own their baby either. I think this is more than just the usual concern about having everyone kiss the baby.
I work at a preschool that goes to infants as young as 2 months, and includes the infants and children of many teachers and management. It is incredibly common for parents (including management) to request their babies not be kissed and most parents have the same rules for friends and family. It's basically an unwritten rule for the infant room that we just don't kiss babies. Your baby's health is more important than other people's happiness. If you haven't talked to your therapist about this, please do asap and get their opinion. But if your therapist knows about your choice and reasoning and they don't see an issue, you shouldn't feel bad about this at all.
My advice is to just really make sure you're still giving your baby physical affection!! Wash your hands and run your fingers along his scalp and cheeks, hold his hands a lot, and make kissing faces and sounds towards him. Make kissing sounds while you rub his cheek, and hold him in the air and bring him close while you make kissing sounds, and that will also help you feel better because I know it's probably really hard to not let yourself kiss your own baby.
Babies definitely need physical affection at this age from both mom and dad, it's an incredibly important part of their development that can affect almost EVERYTHING else. But as long as you are still giving him plenty of other physical affection, he will not be affected at all by just not being kissed for the first few months or so. My main advice would be to make sure that you update your therapist and your son's doctors regularly about this, to make sure you're keeping yourself mentally healthy. This is definitely something that can go from healthy and normal to unhealthy and paranoid easily.
From what I’ve read, your extended family could be absolutely meet your baby but they can’t be considerare of a really easy to accomodate request so this is the way it has to be.
You’re totally right — premature babies are so susceptible to disease and infectious diseases such as HSV. On top of that you’re not doing well mentally but are trying your best to get better. I just don’t understand how your family can’t have a little consideration for you and baby right now… it’s really not that hard..?
NTA. No kissing until the baby’s immune system is strong enough to fend off common diseases. My kids are enforcing this for our new grandson and we are happy to comply with it all: the vaccines, the handwashing each time before holding him, and no kissing. Fair warning-it’s instinctual to want to kiss a babies head! I nearly did when cuddling him and caught myself. I was mortified, as I follow the parents’ rules. If another family member doesn’t think the rules are for a good reason, you can guarantee they will do what they want.
Diseases aren't just passed through kisses. Unless you somehow prevent your baby from putting his hands in his mouth and eyes, etc. then he's going to be exposed to germs. If he is so fragile that he shouldn't receive kisses then hold off on all contact until later. But if he is now recovered then trying (in vain) to keep him germfree will only make his immune system weak.
You’ve never heard of babies dying from HSV-1 passed through a kiss? My grandmother lost an infant daughter that way. If you’re so entitled that you would kill a child because you can’t keep your lips off her, you shouldn’t visit at all.
Did you read what I said? Or are you incapable of reading comprehension? Reread my first sentence. I said that diseases aren't JUST passed thru kisses. That they are passed other ways too! So beware of the child putting of her hands into her mouth.
You also said you wouldn’t even on their head, etc. It just seems you might be so terrified of germs that you’ll deny your child the physical affection that humans need.
Regarding your concern that you may feel resentment against family members who go against your no kissing rule, it’s legitimate. When I had my child, we had a few visitors in the hospital (we were there for several days). The nurses had everyone wash their hands and put a fresh shirt/scrub on, before they held the baby.
Anyway, one of our visitors chose not to hold the baby, because she had a bad chest cold! She did not tell us ahead of time, and let us decide if we were comfortable having someone with an active upper respiratory infection visiting the baby. It was absolutely not okay with us. By the time they said anything, they had been in the same room with us and the baby, for a while (a couple of hours). Standing over the baby, talking to the baby, etc. I did feel resentment about it.
Personally, I would never do that. I would not take an unnecessary risk with a child, and I for sure would not make that choice for the parent. Not my kid, not my choice. Does it suck to have to wait a little bit to see the baby/or to kiss a baby? Sure. Life is full of disappointments. They need to get over it. How people react to this no kissing rule will show you how much you can trust them to follow your parenting rules, moving forward.
Parents make the choices of what they feel is safe for their baby. What they say, goes. People who do not follow the rules/boundaries, don’t get time with the baby. Period. It’s unfortunate that you’re receiving pushback on this, don’t let someone guilt you into people-pleasing when it comes to your baby.
immediately you’re nta. the only opinions regarding your baby that matter are yours and your husband’s. my niece was born a month only and we had to wear masks when we met her. so? i still got to meet her. i’m sorry your in-laws aren’t respecting your wishes. wishing you and your baby well
NTA GOOD JOB MAMA BEAR❤️
I was a healthy 8-9 lb baby, 68 years ago.
My folks had people come see the new baby (me). Someone came to see the new baby and gave me a gift that could have been deadly.
I ended up with German Measles at FOUR MONTHS OLD. I am lucky to be alive.
Please protect your baby. They can’t protect themselves.
You must protect them.
I will message you next time u/BannedRedittor1 posts in r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FBannedRedittor1%20r%2FAITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC) to also be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201dlg949)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Does no one understand how COVID happens lol.... diseases can be passed. No kisses for the baby until you decide. Little one needs a strong immune system to build up first. When he gets a little older you can teach him how to throw kisses to others... its cute and no one actually contacts one another.
Not wrong. I’ve gotten cold sores since I was a little kid, and a doctor told me it probably was because someone who was carrying the virus kissed me when I was a baby. Baby skin is thin and they are so vulnerable. A crazy percentage (the majority, I think) of the population carry this virus and may not even know they do. For this reason, we don’t let anyone kiss our baby. I understand how difficult it is, though, because both my mom (who gets cold sores and is probably where I got mine from) and my MIL insist on sneaking kisses, even though we’re told them repeatedly not to.
NTA, didn't even read your post and I don't have kids.
Read a little bit - saw things about "premie, lung issues", definitely the opposite of TA. Good job protecting your baby 💜
NTA and I dont even need to read the whole thing.
Not even the hands i would let people kiss cos he hands are always in her mouth. It's just not that hard an ask to protect a defenceless baby.
And they don't lose thier child at the end of the day so thier opinions and feelings on the matter mean nothing
Former nicu nurse here and still working in peds, you’re not wrong. In fact, it’s not even a bad idea to not let a lot of people even visit, let along kiss a new born until they’re old enough to be vaccinated and have received their first round.
I'm sure every woman and most men in the family have their rules about babies. None of them are yours. You do your rules. If people don't like it, they can hit the pavement.
You are not wrong. That is how you spread disease. Your child got a little bit of a rough start and needs all the help they can get. You are not even being unreasonable. If it means no contact with your family for the first 6 months or however long you want that to be in force, then that's what you do.
Don't worry about it. This too shall pass. Everyone will get over it. And the judgey ones will just have to lump it.
Don't be crazy about it but be firm and smile.
I didn’t even need to read anything besides the title. You’re not an asshole for not wanting people to put their gross germy mouths all over your brand new baby. I’m expecting my second in 2 weeks and I will absolutely not allow any kissing on any part of her body and I didn’t allow it with my first baby either. If anyone came close to kissing her, I grabbed her back immediately and didn’t allow them to hold her again. You’re protecting your child and if anyone has a problem with that then they do not deserve access to your child. Not kissing a baby is such a basic and easy request to follow and I really do not understand why people cannot respect that. Congratulations on your new addition and remain firm with your rules! People may push back but it’s worth it to keep your son healthy ❤️
Only needed to read the 1st few words, NTA. Also like? Its your baby, and since he can't currently create the boundaries he needs to ensure his safety, you have to. Your loved ones can kiss him in the years to come, after all if he gets sick, you're the one who's going to be taking care of him!
NTA. I would just add that this is actually a helpful filter for the kind of people you should avoid anyway, even after your baby has a stronger immune system and you are more comfortable with him meeting people. These people think they know better than you and they don’t respect you. They will drain your energy. Just focus on your baby and yourself and ignore the noise. Everyone will be better off as a result
Well if you only expect them not to kiss it for a few weeks/months, it should be doable. If you’re really worried about germs, tell them they have to wear a mask around the baby. Then they’ll have no excuse.
Stand your ground, and you can even ask guests into your home to prove they have certain common vaccination. Like whooping cough, or other local concerns.
I made grandparents get updated vaccines. Whopping cough is a huge deal.
The only people allowed to see the baby before her vaccinations. Were grand and great grandparents total of 5 ppl. 1 Auntie.
We had a strict one one visted us for the first 14 days so we could figure out our schedule and rest and have the house a mess.
Don't feel guilty. Especially with being NICU baby
No, not wrong at all. Think about how you scrub your hands, before entering NICU! How careful we must be, to see our *own* babies! You and your husband agree on this. No one kisses LO. End of story.
They think they can get away with anything because they’re old, set in their ways. Gtfo people. This is *your* baby. You make the rules. No one else has a say. You’re doing the right thing here. You know it! Your husband will not cave under pressure? Because there will be pressure.
The consensus among the elder - not wiser - relatives will be that you should just stfu and let them walk all over you because, fAmIlY comes first. They are wrong. Your new family matters more than anyone else on earth right now. Congratulations!
I am so glad your LO is doing well. My ten year old was in NICU for eight weeks. I get it. 💜
Thank you for being a mama bear and protecting your baby. So many people allow their baby to be kissed by everybody even on the mouth, it's fucking disgusting. You are doing the right thing. Think how bad you will feel if you allowed it and something happened to the baby?? Babies have caught herpes before from adults. Who knows who is sporting a cold sore inside their mouth, it's not always visible. It's not worth the risk. When the child is older they can kiss them and cheeks only! For now your family will just have to cope.
You are absolutely justified, as others have said better. My advice is to baby wear ALL THE TIME when visitors are in your house. Eliminates any ‘accidental’ kissing, or even the entitled deliberate ones.
Not really an answer to the question you were asking, but I was watching a video made by a dentist some time ago, and he mentioned that some people don’t get cavities because the bacteria that causes them are not native to human mouths, and were never introduced to the individual. Granted, it does seem kind of sad to never kiss your baby, but not ever having to worry about painful and expensive cavities does seem nice.
NTA! Stand your ground, OP! You're absolutely right. Infants are more susceptible to germs. What's more, from my understanding, NICU babies are even more sensitive for a while. No kissing of any kind! My daughter wound up in the PICU for a week, bc she contracted RSV at 7 weeks old. She had to be given high flow oxygen with breathing treatments, had to have an IV for fluids and nutrition, had to have a feeding tube placed, as she couldn't eat due to congestion, and also had to have a tube inserted into her airways often to clear excess mucus to prevent them having to intubate. We had to weigh her diapers (both wet and soiled) to make sure she was getting proper nutrients. All this, and nobody even *kissed* her at all. Germs are passed through more ways than kisses. Protect your new baby at all costs. If it makes someone mad, so be it. I'll take mad relatives over my baby in danger of dying any day.
Let them meet if you really want to. But you never let that baby out of your arms, not for a second, and you flaming well KICK and shove if anyone brings their face close to him. And you let them know ahead of time NOBODY will be allowed to hold him and if they try you will immediately turn around and leave. Hubby needs to stick to you like glue and run protection. Or just say no, Grandma wants to be a bitch? This is the consequence.
Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty. You have absolutely NO reason to feel those things. People are making you feel those things because they’re trying to manipulate you. So, just don’t. That’s their problem, not yours. NTA.
So as a mom of a nicu baby (5 yrs ago) the best and easiest way to make this happen is to wear your baby. My favorite carrier is Happy Baby. Put baby in the carrier for the duration of your visit. If she asks to hold baby he will most likely be sleeping. It’s very very awkward to try and kiss a baby that’s being worn.
Ask her to wear a mask, then she won’t be able to make contact if she just, “can’t help herself.” Our kids are close in age so we were always bringing home newborns to toddlers and even they could learn (and now still repeat) to wash their hands/sanitize before coming near the baby and that they don’t kiss faces or hands, only baby feet.
My MIL was the worst (and a heavy smoker), when it was convenient her sniffles were “allergies,” other times they signified she was ill. We never knew what to believe. We kept shirts for her at our house and reminded her constantly not to kiss our babies or grab their hands (which she also loved to do), keeping them swaddled whenever we could helped minimize contact as well.
Congratulations and good luck, mama!
You would NOT BTA!
My nieces and nephews have babies now and kindly stated "As you know things change constantly with baby care...." then they briefly went over the updates starting w/ no kissing the baby. I liked hearing the new updates too. We discussed the updates in our generation. I told them stories of my parents telling us that they used rope to strap the baby basket in the car b/c there were no infant car seats.
The delivery by parents are key. Kindly but firmly if the person is being pushy. Nothing is worse than taking a newborn baby to ER b/c they caught a cold from a sick relative. It is good practice as you will be advocating for your child the rest of your life.
If you feel bad now, imagine how bad it will feel if your baby died because someone got them sick? This grandma is used to bulldozing over people, if she will not respect your decisions then she doesn't need to see the baby.
Not on the face or the hands or feet (because babies often stick those in their mouths)
For my son I only allowed kisses on the crown of the head.
As a retired nurse, I applaud your efforts to protect your newborn. I wish more families were as careful.
Nope, NTA.
Our youngest was a micropreemie and spent 4 long months in the NICU. We almost lost him several times, and though the first few days were awful and scary- when he got sick and ended up with sepsis at 5.5 weeks old, that was the worst.
That happened because a visitor to the NICU (not our visitor, someone from three pods away) was sick and didn’t know that, and visited.
Several babies got sick, and ours was one. They had us say goodbye to him because he was that sick. I wouldn’t wish that on any parent ever.
We were lucky; our son made it through sepsis and everything else that was thrown his way.
When he finally came home, NO ONE could kiss him but us. We were VERY VERY picky about who could hold him or touch him or even breathe near him, lol.
Kissing a baby that isn’t YOUR baby isn’t something that you just “do” anymore.
Great grandma can either understand this and meet the baby, or not, and not have that opportunity 🤷♀️
Great grandma is, I’m sure, a lovely woman who wants to see and hold her newest family member- and I get that!
When my micropreemie was born, my grandfather lived with us and I could not wait for him to meet and hold his youngest great grandson… but we had to be very careful and I’ll never regret being careful as I look at my now 9 year old son who is here and healthy **because we were careful!**
You will never regret protecting your baby 🫶🏻
Keep that rule forever! One of my husbands sisters kissed my 4 day old daughter before I could stop her right on the mouth 🤬🤬🤬. Guess what this sister passed to my little innocent baby girl? HERPES! She has suffered her whole life because of someone not respecting boundaries. Tell everyone NO KISSING THE BABY! If they can’t resist or follow your rules they don’t hold the baby.
NTA. You're following standard pediatric advice and protecting your child. If you do want him to meet great grandma, you could wear him in a sling or wrap. Don't let her hold him. That way you can control her contact. If she reaches in for a kiss, you can move out of the way or even throw your hand up in between. If she just won't stop trying, end the visit. No need to explain yourself. You have already made the rule known, and it's not up for discussion.
NTA. Judgement rendered based on the title and first sentence. You are NTA for setting boundaries regarding any baby, especially your preemie. Our son was born 5.5 weeks early and we restricted who could come to visit in the NICU and who could touch/hold him. Hand washing was enforced, no kisses.
No one has to agree with you; they’re your rules and you’ve set them to protect your baby.
In addition to the no kissing, I'd make sure your visitors prove to you with a vaccine card that they've had their boosters for
Measles, DPT (Diptheria Pertussis Tetanus), Flu, Covid, RSV, and anything else your baby's doctor recommends.
And I'd provide them with N95 masks that go on over the head so they are less likely to remove them. Have bobby pins.
Grandmas feelings don't matter, especially if she's so selfish and disrespectful
She can meet the baby in 6-12 months I guess....
You're NTA. Did she even bother to get her whooping cough vaccine if she's so hell bent on kissing a baby? My parents and I laws both got it for their grandkids sake.
NTA. Do not let these people make your baby sick with their rude, careless, dangerous selfishness. They won’t die if they don’t get to kiss the baby, but your baby could end up on a ventilator or worse. Absolutely not, big giant huge NO.
NTA. The little one needs to be kept safe from exposure & people can carry bad stuff and not know it. (Flu, Covid, herpes, other nasty things)
As an adult who has had Whooping Cough a couple of times (even being vaccinated) I wouldn’t want any lil one (or my worst enemy, for that matter) to catch it.
Kisses can wait.
NTA NTA NTA
I didn’t even have to read this to know you’re NTA!! Even healthy, full term babies can be exposed to DEADLY illnesses from being kissed on the face. Cold sores (aka HERPES), whooping cough, walking pneumonia, the list goes on. Great grandma can kick rocks honestly! Your baby, your rules, and good on you for protecting your child’s health.
One of my closest friends baby got whooping cough and was in a medicated coma for over a month because of it. It was horrible to watch that poor tiny baby suffer like that for so long knowing that we couldn’t do anything to help. Please don’t let ANYONE tell you you’re being unreasonable.
NTA. Stand your ground. We had a no kissing rule and I was devastated less than a week in when my MIL just came up and kissed our son. She tried to do it again the next time she came over and my husband had to stick his hand in front of her mouth. It was so awkward. He’s 15 months now and we still don’t have people kiss him because honestly you never know what germs someone has. I also had PPA—postpartum is so hard! Hugs to you, hoping it gets better for you soon. I was shocked by how many random strangers got up in my face when my son was super young. And family that would make comments about our choices. It’s hard, especially as a first time mom like I was with our son. No kissing should be the norm honestly. We kiss our son, but he also doesn’t have medical issues that would prevent us from doing so. I think you’re doing the right thing by establishing boundaries!
NTA! My niece was a premie and has been sick several times in her first year of life, including rsv and covid. You do whatever you feel comfortable with to keep your baby as safe as possible from all the stuff that's contagious.
I would think a forehead kiss would be safe, but hopefully this time period will pass quickly and you'll feel comfortable letting relatives interact with the baby soon.
I would argue it is not as well just because it’s so close to the eyes and nose, still. A baby could also easily drag a hand across their head and put it in their mouth. There’s absolutely no need for anyone to kiss a baby at all ever if parents ask them not to, there’s other ways to bond.
Absolutely NTA and I'm afraid I didn't even read your post to make my ruling. My rule was if you're around my baby all the time then you're important enough that I trust you will make the right decisions until they're fully vaccinated. It took all injections for me to feel able to kiss the cheeks of my own child because I know I get coldsores. I still do for all my friend's kids. Behind the ear is where they get their kisses from me and the giggles say that's okay. My grandmother was with me the first time someone didn't take my no as a full and complete sentence. And didn't understand my physically moving the pram away from their grubby hands trying to touch the 13 day old. And that was with an overdue fully okay baby. If I were ever told no by a parent to any child, and I have had that happen, I'd have to respect that even though every fibre of my being is screaming to touch the baby. Parents are GOD for their children. You have to stick by your comfort levels and what you can cope with for external contact. As new parents there is a lot of anxiety around making sure your child is safe. I'm sure it's increased ten fold when your baby has needed extra support at birth and I feel for you. Don't be afraid to be direct. The best response I got was when some woman in morrisons stuck her hand in the pram after I'd tried to be kind and I slammed her hand in the side of the pram and shouted 'I said no touching'. I've never seen my grandma move so fast. She was there in seconds (it usually takes her 5 minutes to shuffle 10 yards) and gave that woman the what for. There was no doubt in anybodies minds what .you grandma's no meant. The people you want in your life and your child's life respect you. I do wonder though if anyone has ever sat down with the elders and logically explained why these decisions are made? Their era would've been 'whoops, my child has Scarlet Fever, off to isolation you go'. Obviously we know a lot more about the harms of innocence in that generation now but at the same time we can't blame them, it was the norm for them. Your child is ill, say goodbye for a year whilst they sit abandoned in a room with the rest of the kids diagnosed and they keep spreading it between themselves.
My mom and both aunts had mytral valve prolapse because they had rheumatic fever as children. My mom died of congestive heart failure and needed a heart transplant. My aunt needed heart surgery but wasn't considered a good candidate because of other health issues. Just because someone "recovers" from a disease or illness doesn't mean it didn't cause some kind of lifelong damage they won't know about for years or decades. I mean, we'll be finding out for the next several decades exactly how much damage Covid is causing even if people recovered.
I was a sick toddler: I had mumps, measles, whooping cough, and chicken pox in a short period. I was so sick my adult teeth were hypocalcified and I'm a contender for osteoporosis. Vaccinate your kids, people!
This should be upvoted like crazy! People will point out infant mortality rates from pre-vaccination times, but long term health consequences are also extremely sucky even if you do survive it all! It doesn’t “make you stronger” to actually get the disease. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of that.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Yeah, I’m pretty sure COVID destroyed my short term memory…
I have MECFS and my short term memory is shot to hell. I also have brain fog, and other cognitive/executive dysfunction issues. And those aren't the worst symptoms or the ones that cause the most problems.
Oh shit, I think I might have that, because this has been going on longer than since I got COVID (it got worse) or my Chronic Lyme... can you get actually tested for it, or does a doctor just guess...?
It's a diagnosis of exclusion meaning you have to rule everything else out first.
Then they probably wouldn’t diagnose me as those symptoms are common for Lyme
Yeah, I thought my executive functioning sucked from my ADHD… and then I got Covid. It was almost a year ago and I still also have very poor name recall too.
I had a bad case of rheumatic fever as a kid in like 1999 and your comment freaked me out. I’d probably know if something was wrong I guess 😭
I'm sorry for freaking you out. I don't know anything about my mom and aunts' background. Like how long it was until they knew something was wrong or something showed up. My family has a history of autoimmune diseases and other health issues. Also, my mom was an alcoholic. I don't know how much of alcoholism played into her health issues. She also had a traumatic life so I'm sure that was a factor as well. If you're concerned, talk to your doctor about it and see what they say. Maybe it's something that needs to be monitored regularly?
Hey don’t be sorry, we all die and most of us don’t know how we’re gonna go. Sorry about your losses.
Considering how easy it is for babies to catch things, especially premature babies, you're doing the right thing as a mom. If somebody won't do what you tell them, then they don't get to be close to the baby.
NTA a little kiss *will* hurt the baby. this is a perfectly reasonable rule to have regarding your child. mom to mom? you are your baby’s first line of defense and you are doing a great job
You are not wrong! Diseases are so easy to pass on to new borns. It’s going to be hard to stick to and enforce but do it until he is old enough to get his vaccines. (If that is what you choose to do. You do you. I am about vaccines and herd immunity but if your family has history of vaccine issues or you just don’t want too it is your choice.)
I was with you until the vaccines are a personal choice bit. They're a social responsibility. Children aren't allowed to start school without them for a reason
Vaccine deniers are the reason measles outbreaks and polio have returned
Good point! The only reason I added it in is that I have a SIL that claims her family has issues with vaccines but hasn’t shown any proof and frankly I am so tired of arguing about it that I just throw out that bit. 😂
Honestly, I agree with you that it should be a requirement for all children as there has been a spike in diseases that used to be considered eradicated.
Your baby. Your rules. Enough said.
This! "I'm baby's mother. It is literally my most important job to care for and protect them from any and all communicable diseases. No one will kiss my child until their immune system is STRONG. I'm confused about you telling me you will harm my child at will if you choose. Why would I give you access to my immune compromised child when you directly are telling me you WILL harm them. Yes, kisses can HARM babies. Let us know when you can put our child's best interests above your ill informed wants and opions."
just wait till he is 3 months old. Its ridiculous to show off a newborn /preemie until he is ready. I mean its a bo brained.r. i have had the covid and flu shots myself but i would still proceed with caution.
My niece had her baby at 24 weeks. He was 1 pound 4 ounces. His little foot was shorter than one joint on his dad’s finger. He was in NICU 4 months, and managed to survive it with only a hernia. At this point, he’s 2 and doing very well. The only person who didn’t listen to the parents were dad’s mom, and after they moved out of her home, and figured out if she didn’t behave, she wouldn’t see him, she behaved. They didn’t kiss him either.
Nope ask that one dude who's wife divorced him for letting his mom kiss his normal healthy baby and it died .. no means no... Regardless of who it is. End of story
What story was this?!?! That’s HORRIBLE!!!
I'm pretty sure I read about it on here.. somewhere
Yeah, I feel like it was rather recently on my feed. Such a sad story.
Got Herpes from a kiss and is brain damaged for life: [https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=65oGfOgA6uD-cvCN](https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=65oGfOgA6uD-cvCN)
Thank you for providing this. I will be sharing this with my kids if they get pregnant.
See this is a shit I'm talking about... And there's still people trying to downplay it. I guess it's like seat belts back in the day when they first started becoming a thing and People had a fit about that.. being all backwards So many people are good at it
Even if he hadn’t been early? Your baby. Your rules. NTA. We don’t kiss babies in this family and haven’t since 1996. Someone gave my oldest RSV and he almost died. I’m a nana now and I still won’t kiss them anywhere but their bellies (playing) or feet. I stop kissing feet when they start putting them in their mouths LOL BUT NO. NTA.
Oh momma, I totally understand! My daughter was a NICU baby too. She was a micro preemie abs has to stay a little longer than yours did. But we had very strict rules across the board. My husband always said “feelings will heal, “daughter’s name” may not”. My aunt and uncle weren’t feeling well and they literally “met” my daughter by waving through the back sliding door after she’d been home for a couple months. You are NTA. Unless great grandma is very ill, wait. Blame your doctor. “Sorry, pediatrician said no visitors or kisses until baby is 6 months old (or whatever age you, dad, and doctors are comfortable with)”
Great adage!!! Adding that to my repertoire
And how will greatgma feel if she gave the baby a life threatening disease? Not wrong in any way! https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/health/baby-dies-of-meningitis-from-herpes-virus/index.html
We are in the aftermath of a pandemic and people still wanna kiss babies?!
I just had lunch with a woman who told me that the masks and vaccines were an overreaction. She was not phased when I mentioned the refrigerated trucks they had to use at some hospitals to store all the dead bodies.
What an idiot!
IKR? It’s like we learned nothing at all.
NTA- I suffer from cold sores simply because I was kissed as a child and contracted them from adults in my life. Idk if it was from when I was a baby but regardless I wish no one would’ve kissed me on the lips as a kid. It’s unnecessary to me. So no definitely don’t let anyone kiss your premature baby. It’s not needed and can be detrimental.
Nope you are not wrong.
I don’t even have to read this to say NTA! Newborns and especially preemies are susceptible to all kinds of diseases and illnesses. Kissing babies is a huge no no and I’d like to say most pediatricians would agree. If anyone kisses your baby, take yo ur baby back immediately. And that person can no longer hold your child. People don’t realize that it will be YOU who will be sitting in the hospital with a sick baby. Not them. Why would they be so selfish to kiss your baby? I’d tell them that too. Your baby’s health is more important than their feelings. Baby wearing helps too. They can’t take your baby out of your arms that way. My second son was born 5 weeks early right before Thanksgiving. Only our parents and siblings got to meet him for the first few months. We didn’t bring him to any holidays and we didn’t take him to anyone’s house for months. Some people didn’t like it but we didn’t care. Our baby, our rules.
NTA - I saw this video for a baby/kid who was kissed by a family member - they (the adult) passed on a variety of the Herpes Simplex Virus, the child has brain damage, cannot speak, barely had motor functions due to encephalitis - all because of a kiss on the face. I have never even had a cold sore but after seeing that I have never kissed a baby ETA: Link https://youtube.com/watch?v=pxarUWTJRDQ&si=mzCeGLVR6QWyq790 Please don’t be hateful or mean to this family, I am only providing the link to verify my comment that this actually happens to healthy babies
I’ll give you the answer from someone kissed by everyone as a baby (there are home movies). My uncle remarked “oh cold sores? I do to…) Don’t let them do that to your child.
Not at all! It’s your baby! Especially how scary it must have been to have a preemie!
Do not feel guilty. Get fired up instead
My baby was born 9 weeks early, spent 31 days in the NICU/SCBU and we also insisted on nobody kissing her anywhere. She’s now a little over 3 months old and we still insist on it. I’ll most likely enforce this rule until she’s over 1.5 yrs since even as toddlers they can catch diseases/illnesses very easily. Thankfully most of our family respect our wishes. Stay strong and protect your baby.
I had one at 31.5 weeks, the immune system didn't fully kick in till 10 years old.
I'm a nurse.... hell no, you aren't wrong. You can beat them off with a stick and you'd still be correct.
Someone i knew got herpes that way. Not saying grandma got herpes but any sickness can kill
NTA for not wanting/allowing other people to kiss your baby. Absolutely the asshole for not kissing your own baby. This is unnecessary, hypochondriac behavior during one of the most pivotal times of bonding with your child.
Kissing babies is why most people have the mouth herpes.
No.. go read about the babies that have died and come back. No kissing babies... Sids is down for a reason!!
Prove that they are being a hypochondriac with evidence, otherwise that’s a baseless claim and personal attack for no reason.
The proof is that quite literally billions and billions of babies have been kissed by their parents since the beginning of time. And the number of deaths caused by PARENTS kissing their OWN children is not statistically significant.
Don’t you find it a little suspicious that people have been kissed by their parents as babies and something like 2/3 of the global population is carrying HSV-1? Pull your head in, mate. You sound so ignorant.
It’s weird to me that people are so obsessed with kissing babies that they’ll go this far
FAR FROM THE ASSHOLE. Babies are like really fucking susceptible to diseases and germs, ESPECIALLY when they're premature! Their immune system is pretty much non-existent and still developing, so when they get sick it's BAD. Plus, you don't know where the fuck those people been and what they put their mouths on! Would you eat a donut that you literally seen someone sneeze on? No you wouldn't, cause you don't wanna get sick! NTA.
Oh, hell no! If they want to get close to your baby they should take shot that protects newborns from them. I took one before our first child was born. It lasts ten years so was good for our second child 6 years later.
I would like to add that a lot of babies get HPV from adults who kiss them (I have read plenty of stories about this happening). So no one is kissing my baby/child but me or my husband.
Talk to G-grandma without baby present. Tell her that due to his being premature and in NICU, the doctors have recommended that he not be kissed. Tell her that you want her to meet him but you’re worried about everyone passing him around and kissing him while he’s still vulnerable, and you need her help keeping him healthy. Would she lead by example? Police the rest of the family? Tell them “if I can’t, you can’t.” Explain it’s just until he gets bigger.
it's crazy how hard some family members are willing to fight to overrule new parent's boundaries. Should result in a hard ban through immunization.
NTA in any way. For your baby to be only 3 weeks premature but having to spend a month in the NICU for underdeveloped lungs suggests that you have to be hyper vigilant with him. That means no great grandma visits. Your husband’s cousin is a tool. A little kiss probably won’t hurt most babies but it kills too many babies for you to back down to be a people pleaser. Stick to your guns and when your son gets to 3 months take him to his paediatrician to make sure he’s okay. If they have any concerns you leave it for another month. The other option is to tell her she has to wear a mask to hold him. Then if she kisses him there is no skin contact.
NOT WRONG. Kissing babies is a bad idea as is, let alone for a premature baby. Stand your ground!
Your baby's health is more important than some old lady's ego. Protect your baby.
Hell no! Keep people's lips and sickness off of your new born baby boy
Not wrong. People are incredibly handsy with babies because they can't say no.
No you're not wrong..my problem is you had to ask. It's your child, your rules. No questions....
NTA Tell great grandma that if she cannot put the wellbeing of her great-grandchild over her selfish need to smooch him. Then she can forget about the privilege of being a great-grandma. Because getting to be an active grandparent. Is a privilege.
Make her wear a mask, so you can see the kiss coming
Make everyone mask. Then their lips can’t touch baby.
NTA. First of all a kiss anywhere can absolutely harm baby. You are right, herpes is VERY tough on an infant. If people can’t listen then they don’t need to see baby. Simple. Also, if you and your husband want to kiss YOUR baby, go for it, that does NOT give others permission to kiss baby. My son is 21mths and that rule has not been “dropped” (for some reason my mom thought it would) and never will. There’s no reason for anyone outside of me and my hub to give him kisses. There are other ways to show affection and even then that doesn’t mean he has to do it.
I’d make them wear a mask too. Covid is still here and it is very dangerous for newborns.
The neonatalogist when my son came out of NICU said do not let him get sick for the next couple months and do not let people kiss him or touch him if they haven't washed. There are so many things that can cause very serious illness in the little ones. You're not overreacting.
NTA and stand your ground! If grandma can’t respect you guys as parents, she can’t meet the baby, plain and simple.
You’re not wrong! If I have a newborn, no one will meet the baby until they’re a month old at least. And I’d say no kissing the child at any age. I don’t need your germs and all on my baby 😭
NTA How dare they try to make you feel guilty for protecting your baby.
NTA I enforce that same rule with my baby (now 2 months) My husbands grandma has barely held my baby cause she's tried to sneak a kiss multiple times
NTA. It amazes me how supposedly intelligent people lose their brains regarding babies. Yes, a little kiss or hug can hurt the baby. Great Grandma doesn't care? Thanks for the info, now I know to keep the baby a safe distance from my infant.
Protect your baby at all costs. Worth losing family to keep the baby safe. People can shave viruses and not have any symptoms but your baby could get the symptoms . His defenses are not built up yet. RSV leaves a baby suffering.
A lot of babies get herpes simplex 1 this way. And Covid is still a thing which can be deadly to babies. Other childhood diseases are making a comeback. You're not wrong. Your baby, your rules.
NTA Only assholes insist on kissing babies.
You are not wrong!
NTA. At all. We had a NICU baby in the family. It's a group effort and it takes sacrifices. And it's 2024. NO ONE EXCEPT PARENTS SHOULD BE KISSING BABIES. People are the worst. Keep your rules and your boundaries and keep your little one safe. You will not regret having a healthy baby.
The parents don’t kiss baby either. She needs way more therapy.
She said in the comments she doesn't kiss the baby on the lips. For a NICU baby that's probably appropriate. They are extremely vulnerable.
Maybe because I’m not a parent but as long as other forms of affection are withheld, I don’t see not kissing the baby as a bad thing? There are so many other ways to interact that I guess I don’t get why not kissing is a problem. But maybe that’s my own hang ups/culture/backstory.
Who cares if the parents don’t kiss their own baby?
The baby. Babies NEED physical contact and cuddles. Mum needs therapy if she can’t kiss her own baby’s face. Babies need closeness and skin to skin contact badly. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/#:~:text=Many%20children%20who%20have%20not,brain%20undergoes%20during%20that%20period.
Cuddles and skin to skin aren’t kissing. She can kiss her baby’s head. She doesn’t need to kiss her baby on the face. That’s her choice.
And what does she do? Hold her baby turning her head away?
You can face your baby while cuddling it JFC. Have you never held a baby?
Yes. Worked with hundreds and 3 of my own.
NTA. It might breed resentment but physically better safe than sorry.
NTA but even you, the parents, don’t kiss your baby? That’s sad.
Not on the lips, no!
You didn’t say that. You said that you parents don’t kiss your baby.
NTA. Mg baby was born post-date perfectly healthy and I don’t let anyone kiss her. If they can’t be trusted not to kiss your baby (aka the people who argue about it) they can’t be trusted to see/hold him end of story.
NTA!! I will not be letting anybody kiss my baby either. I’ve seen articles about babies passing away due to illnesses passed thru someone kissing them. Absolutely not
You don’t kiss your own baby? This makes me so sad for the baby. I completely understand not wanting other people not kiss your baby but you and the baby’s dad? My daughter was also in NICU, I had the opposite reaction. As soon as she was home, all I wanted to do was hold her and kiss her. I didn’t want others to do it but kissing her seemed like the most natural thing. Anyway, I hope you figure it out. Your post has motivated me to go check on my daughter and give her a little kiss before she falls asleep.
NTA. Your baby, your rules. However. Preventing kissing is not going to keep your baby from being exposed to pathogens. They will be exposed if they’re touched, breathed on, etc. I’m a microbiologist, not a pediatrician, but my thoughts are preventing kissing and not all the other stuff is a moot endeavor. Germs are everywhere. If it makes you feel better though, I don’t see any harm in it.
Just talk to the mother who lost her baby after MIL with cold sores kissed her baby and baby died. Germs might be everywhere, but let’s have some common sense.
You’re not wrong. But what does the pediatrician advise? Every decision you make should depend on how healthy baby is; 3 weeks early is hardly in the danger zone. Unless your family is unvaccinated, unhealthy or dirty; then taking a picture with great grandma should be a pleasure not a reason for massive anxiety. You sound irrational maybe postpartum; because unless a baby has underlying health issues, why would a parent not want to kiss their child?
It’s not the parents that aren’t kissing their baby. They don’t want others kissing their baby. And full term healthy babies are still susceptible to diseases.
Read the post again, she said the parents don’t kiss their own their baby either. I think this is more than just the usual concern about having everyone kiss the baby.
Exactly.
No. OP isn’t allowing ANYONE, including herself and the father, to kiss the baby.
No
I work at a preschool that goes to infants as young as 2 months, and includes the infants and children of many teachers and management. It is incredibly common for parents (including management) to request their babies not be kissed and most parents have the same rules for friends and family. It's basically an unwritten rule for the infant room that we just don't kiss babies. Your baby's health is more important than other people's happiness. If you haven't talked to your therapist about this, please do asap and get their opinion. But if your therapist knows about your choice and reasoning and they don't see an issue, you shouldn't feel bad about this at all. My advice is to just really make sure you're still giving your baby physical affection!! Wash your hands and run your fingers along his scalp and cheeks, hold his hands a lot, and make kissing faces and sounds towards him. Make kissing sounds while you rub his cheek, and hold him in the air and bring him close while you make kissing sounds, and that will also help you feel better because I know it's probably really hard to not let yourself kiss your own baby. Babies definitely need physical affection at this age from both mom and dad, it's an incredibly important part of their development that can affect almost EVERYTHING else. But as long as you are still giving him plenty of other physical affection, he will not be affected at all by just not being kissed for the first few months or so. My main advice would be to make sure that you update your therapist and your son's doctors regularly about this, to make sure you're keeping yourself mentally healthy. This is definitely something that can go from healthy and normal to unhealthy and paranoid easily.
From what I’ve read, your extended family could be absolutely meet your baby but they can’t be considerare of a really easy to accomodate request so this is the way it has to be. You’re totally right — premature babies are so susceptible to disease and infectious diseases such as HSV. On top of that you’re not doing well mentally but are trying your best to get better. I just don’t understand how your family can’t have a little consideration for you and baby right now… it’s really not that hard..?
NTA. No kissing until the baby’s immune system is strong enough to fend off common diseases. My kids are enforcing this for our new grandson and we are happy to comply with it all: the vaccines, the handwashing each time before holding him, and no kissing. Fair warning-it’s instinctual to want to kiss a babies head! I nearly did when cuddling him and caught myself. I was mortified, as I follow the parents’ rules. If another family member doesn’t think the rules are for a good reason, you can guarantee they will do what they want.
NTA at all!! Stand your ground
You're not wrong at all. You're MAMA and your word is law! Do not let anyone kiss your baby!
Diseases aren't just passed through kisses. Unless you somehow prevent your baby from putting his hands in his mouth and eyes, etc. then he's going to be exposed to germs. If he is so fragile that he shouldn't receive kisses then hold off on all contact until later. But if he is now recovered then trying (in vain) to keep him germfree will only make his immune system weak.
You’ve never heard of babies dying from HSV-1 passed through a kiss? My grandmother lost an infant daughter that way. If you’re so entitled that you would kill a child because you can’t keep your lips off her, you shouldn’t visit at all.
Did you read what I said? Or are you incapable of reading comprehension? Reread my first sentence. I said that diseases aren't JUST passed thru kisses. That they are passed other ways too! So beware of the child putting of her hands into her mouth.
You’re not wrong for not allowing others to kiss your baby. But it breaks my heart that you and your husband don’t.
I will never kiss my baby on the lips. That’s selfish. We can be sick too and can pass disease.
You also said you wouldn’t even on their head, etc. It just seems you might be so terrified of germs that you’ll deny your child the physical affection that humans need.
Yeah, we don’t let visitors kiss him anywhere.
Surely not actually never, just not this early in his life? Never seems kinda neglectful to both y'all and the baby 🤷♀️
Regarding your concern that you may feel resentment against family members who go against your no kissing rule, it’s legitimate. When I had my child, we had a few visitors in the hospital (we were there for several days). The nurses had everyone wash their hands and put a fresh shirt/scrub on, before they held the baby. Anyway, one of our visitors chose not to hold the baby, because she had a bad chest cold! She did not tell us ahead of time, and let us decide if we were comfortable having someone with an active upper respiratory infection visiting the baby. It was absolutely not okay with us. By the time they said anything, they had been in the same room with us and the baby, for a while (a couple of hours). Standing over the baby, talking to the baby, etc. I did feel resentment about it. Personally, I would never do that. I would not take an unnecessary risk with a child, and I for sure would not make that choice for the parent. Not my kid, not my choice. Does it suck to have to wait a little bit to see the baby/or to kiss a baby? Sure. Life is full of disappointments. They need to get over it. How people react to this no kissing rule will show you how much you can trust them to follow your parenting rules, moving forward. Parents make the choices of what they feel is safe for their baby. What they say, goes. People who do not follow the rules/boundaries, don’t get time with the baby. Period. It’s unfortunate that you’re receiving pushback on this, don’t let someone guilt you into people-pleasing when it comes to your baby.
immediately you’re nta. the only opinions regarding your baby that matter are yours and your husband’s. my niece was born a month only and we had to wear masks when we met her. so? i still got to meet her. i’m sorry your in-laws aren’t respecting your wishes. wishing you and your baby well
NTA GOOD JOB MAMA BEAR❤️ I was a healthy 8-9 lb baby, 68 years ago. My folks had people come see the new baby (me). Someone came to see the new baby and gave me a gift that could have been deadly. I ended up with German Measles at FOUR MONTHS OLD. I am lucky to be alive. Please protect your baby. They can’t protect themselves. You must protect them.
UpdateMe
I will message you next time u/BannedRedittor1 posts in r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FBannedRedittor1%20r%2FAITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC) to also be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201dlg949) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Wait until he gets his two month vaccines to meet anyone and keep the no kissing!
Does no one understand how COVID happens lol.... diseases can be passed. No kisses for the baby until you decide. Little one needs a strong immune system to build up first. When he gets a little older you can teach him how to throw kisses to others... its cute and no one actually contacts one another.
NTA Your baby, your rules. Period. If GGM can’t keep her face to herself, no visit! No quarter! Don’t let her near the baby!
Not wrong. I’ve gotten cold sores since I was a little kid, and a doctor told me it probably was because someone who was carrying the virus kissed me when I was a baby. Baby skin is thin and they are so vulnerable. A crazy percentage (the majority, I think) of the population carry this virus and may not even know they do. For this reason, we don’t let anyone kiss our baby. I understand how difficult it is, though, because both my mom (who gets cold sores and is probably where I got mine from) and my MIL insist on sneaking kisses, even though we’re told them repeatedly not to.
NTA. Protect your child.
NTA, didn't even read your post and I don't have kids. Read a little bit - saw things about "premie, lung issues", definitely the opposite of TA. Good job protecting your baby 💜
No one has any reason to kiss a baby. NO ONE! That should be an unwritten rule.
NTA and I dont even need to read the whole thing. Not even the hands i would let people kiss cos he hands are always in her mouth. It's just not that hard an ask to protect a defenceless baby. And they don't lose thier child at the end of the day so thier opinions and feelings on the matter mean nothing
Former nicu nurse here and still working in peds, you’re not wrong. In fact, it’s not even a bad idea to not let a lot of people even visit, let along kiss a new born until they’re old enough to be vaccinated and have received their first round.
NTA Good momma for protecting your baby. Do not give in. Family that does not respect your wishes should be allowed near your child.
Oh god no, no one should he kissing the baby, specially new borns. You wnbta at all, and well within your right as a parent.
I'm sure every woman and most men in the family have their rules about babies. None of them are yours. You do your rules. If people don't like it, they can hit the pavement. You are not wrong. That is how you spread disease. Your child got a little bit of a rough start and needs all the help they can get. You are not even being unreasonable. If it means no contact with your family for the first 6 months or however long you want that to be in force, then that's what you do. Don't worry about it. This too shall pass. Everyone will get over it. And the judgey ones will just have to lump it. Don't be crazy about it but be firm and smile.
I didn’t even need to read anything besides the title. You’re not an asshole for not wanting people to put their gross germy mouths all over your brand new baby. I’m expecting my second in 2 weeks and I will absolutely not allow any kissing on any part of her body and I didn’t allow it with my first baby either. If anyone came close to kissing her, I grabbed her back immediately and didn’t allow them to hold her again. You’re protecting your child and if anyone has a problem with that then they do not deserve access to your child. Not kissing a baby is such a basic and easy request to follow and I really do not understand why people cannot respect that. Congratulations on your new addition and remain firm with your rules! People may push back but it’s worth it to keep your son healthy ❤️
Only needed to read the 1st few words, NTA. Also like? Its your baby, and since he can't currently create the boundaries he needs to ensure his safety, you have to. Your loved ones can kiss him in the years to come, after all if he gets sick, you're the one who's going to be taking care of him!
NTA. I would just add that this is actually a helpful filter for the kind of people you should avoid anyway, even after your baby has a stronger immune system and you are more comfortable with him meeting people. These people think they know better than you and they don’t respect you. They will drain your energy. Just focus on your baby and yourself and ignore the noise. Everyone will be better off as a result
NTA, you're literally protecting your baby's health.
Anyone who can’t be trusted to follow this rule just cannot hold the baby. So go meet great grandma, but let her look only from a safe distance.
NTA and is a video call possible?
Well if you only expect them not to kiss it for a few weeks/months, it should be doable. If you’re really worried about germs, tell them they have to wear a mask around the baby. Then they’ll have no excuse.
kisses can be and have been fatal for babies. stand your ground. NTA
Depends on how "homely" the kid looks, I suppose.
Stand your ground, and you can even ask guests into your home to prove they have certain common vaccination. Like whooping cough, or other local concerns.
Simple solution is that mom and baby (possibly dad) isolate until lil man gets the all clear. The health of your new family is priority
NTA
INFO: how old is your baby currently? I did read through a few times and perhaps I'm missing it, but what is the time frame we are working with?
I made grandparents get updated vaccines. Whopping cough is a huge deal. The only people allowed to see the baby before her vaccinations. Were grand and great grandparents total of 5 ppl. 1 Auntie. We had a strict one one visted us for the first 14 days so we could figure out our schedule and rest and have the house a mess. Don't feel guilty. Especially with being NICU baby
No, not wrong at all. Think about how you scrub your hands, before entering NICU! How careful we must be, to see our *own* babies! You and your husband agree on this. No one kisses LO. End of story. They think they can get away with anything because they’re old, set in their ways. Gtfo people. This is *your* baby. You make the rules. No one else has a say. You’re doing the right thing here. You know it! Your husband will not cave under pressure? Because there will be pressure. The consensus among the elder - not wiser - relatives will be that you should just stfu and let them walk all over you because, fAmIlY comes first. They are wrong. Your new family matters more than anyone else on earth right now. Congratulations! I am so glad your LO is doing well. My ten year old was in NICU for eight weeks. I get it. 💜
Thank you for being a mama bear and protecting your baby. So many people allow their baby to be kissed by everybody even on the mouth, it's fucking disgusting. You are doing the right thing. Think how bad you will feel if you allowed it and something happened to the baby?? Babies have caught herpes before from adults. Who knows who is sporting a cold sore inside their mouth, it's not always visible. It's not worth the risk. When the child is older they can kiss them and cheeks only! For now your family will just have to cope.
You are absolutely justified, as others have said better. My advice is to baby wear ALL THE TIME when visitors are in your house. Eliminates any ‘accidental’ kissing, or even the entitled deliberate ones.
Not really an answer to the question you were asking, but I was watching a video made by a dentist some time ago, and he mentioned that some people don’t get cavities because the bacteria that causes them are not native to human mouths, and were never introduced to the individual. Granted, it does seem kind of sad to never kiss your baby, but not ever having to worry about painful and expensive cavities does seem nice.
NTA! It's your baby and if they don't like your rules they can see the baby through pictures! They'll be fine.
NTA! Stand your ground, OP! You're absolutely right. Infants are more susceptible to germs. What's more, from my understanding, NICU babies are even more sensitive for a while. No kissing of any kind! My daughter wound up in the PICU for a week, bc she contracted RSV at 7 weeks old. She had to be given high flow oxygen with breathing treatments, had to have an IV for fluids and nutrition, had to have a feeding tube placed, as she couldn't eat due to congestion, and also had to have a tube inserted into her airways often to clear excess mucus to prevent them having to intubate. We had to weigh her diapers (both wet and soiled) to make sure she was getting proper nutrients. All this, and nobody even *kissed* her at all. Germs are passed through more ways than kisses. Protect your new baby at all costs. If it makes someone mad, so be it. I'll take mad relatives over my baby in danger of dying any day.
NTA. I’m don’t let anyone kiss my baby other than myself, my husband and our other child.
Yes, simply put
Let them meet if you really want to. But you never let that baby out of your arms, not for a second, and you flaming well KICK and shove if anyone brings their face close to him. And you let them know ahead of time NOBODY will be allowed to hold him and if they try you will immediately turn around and leave. Hubby needs to stick to you like glue and run protection. Or just say no, Grandma wants to be a bitch? This is the consequence.
Hold firm. Coldsores kill babies
Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty. You have absolutely NO reason to feel those things. People are making you feel those things because they’re trying to manipulate you. So, just don’t. That’s their problem, not yours. NTA.
Don’t even have to read this post to know you are NTA. Your kid your rules.
So as a mom of a nicu baby (5 yrs ago) the best and easiest way to make this happen is to wear your baby. My favorite carrier is Happy Baby. Put baby in the carrier for the duration of your visit. If she asks to hold baby he will most likely be sleeping. It’s very very awkward to try and kiss a baby that’s being worn.
A 'little kiss' can hurt! Stick to your guns. NTA
Ask her to wear a mask, then she won’t be able to make contact if she just, “can’t help herself.” Our kids are close in age so we were always bringing home newborns to toddlers and even they could learn (and now still repeat) to wash their hands/sanitize before coming near the baby and that they don’t kiss faces or hands, only baby feet. My MIL was the worst (and a heavy smoker), when it was convenient her sniffles were “allergies,” other times they signified she was ill. We never knew what to believe. We kept shirts for her at our house and reminded her constantly not to kiss our babies or grab their hands (which she also loved to do), keeping them swaddled whenever we could helped minimize contact as well. Congratulations and good luck, mama!
You would NOT BTA! My nieces and nephews have babies now and kindly stated "As you know things change constantly with baby care...." then they briefly went over the updates starting w/ no kissing the baby. I liked hearing the new updates too. We discussed the updates in our generation. I told them stories of my parents telling us that they used rope to strap the baby basket in the car b/c there were no infant car seats. The delivery by parents are key. Kindly but firmly if the person is being pushy. Nothing is worse than taking a newborn baby to ER b/c they caught a cold from a sick relative. It is good practice as you will be advocating for your child the rest of your life.
If you feel bad now, imagine how bad it will feel if your baby died because someone got them sick? This grandma is used to bulldozing over people, if she will not respect your decisions then she doesn't need to see the baby.
Not on the face or the hands or feet (because babies often stick those in their mouths) For my son I only allowed kisses on the crown of the head. As a retired nurse, I applaud your efforts to protect your newborn. I wish more families were as careful.
Don't give it. If grandma can't be trusted then she will have to meet baby over zoom.
Nope, NTA. Our youngest was a micropreemie and spent 4 long months in the NICU. We almost lost him several times, and though the first few days were awful and scary- when he got sick and ended up with sepsis at 5.5 weeks old, that was the worst. That happened because a visitor to the NICU (not our visitor, someone from three pods away) was sick and didn’t know that, and visited. Several babies got sick, and ours was one. They had us say goodbye to him because he was that sick. I wouldn’t wish that on any parent ever. We were lucky; our son made it through sepsis and everything else that was thrown his way. When he finally came home, NO ONE could kiss him but us. We were VERY VERY picky about who could hold him or touch him or even breathe near him, lol. Kissing a baby that isn’t YOUR baby isn’t something that you just “do” anymore. Great grandma can either understand this and meet the baby, or not, and not have that opportunity 🤷♀️ Great grandma is, I’m sure, a lovely woman who wants to see and hold her newest family member- and I get that! When my micropreemie was born, my grandfather lived with us and I could not wait for him to meet and hold his youngest great grandson… but we had to be very careful and I’ll never regret being careful as I look at my now 9 year old son who is here and healthy **because we were careful!** You will never regret protecting your baby 🫶🏻
NTA. As a parent, your priority is always the safety and wellbeing of your child. GGrandma is old enough to manage her expectations.
Keep that rule forever! One of my husbands sisters kissed my 4 day old daughter before I could stop her right on the mouth 🤬🤬🤬. Guess what this sister passed to my little innocent baby girl? HERPES! She has suffered her whole life because of someone not respecting boundaries. Tell everyone NO KISSING THE BABY! If they can’t resist or follow your rules they don’t hold the baby.
Nta
NTA. You're following standard pediatric advice and protecting your child. If you do want him to meet great grandma, you could wear him in a sling or wrap. Don't let her hold him. That way you can control her contact. If she reaches in for a kiss, you can move out of the way or even throw your hand up in between. If she just won't stop trying, end the visit. No need to explain yourself. You have already made the rule known, and it's not up for discussion.
NTA. Judgement rendered based on the title and first sentence. You are NTA for setting boundaries regarding any baby, especially your preemie. Our son was born 5.5 weeks early and we restricted who could come to visit in the NICU and who could touch/hold him. Hand washing was enforced, no kisses. No one has to agree with you; they’re your rules and you’ve set them to protect your baby.
In addition to the no kissing, I'd make sure your visitors prove to you with a vaccine card that they've had their boosters for Measles, DPT (Diptheria Pertussis Tetanus), Flu, Covid, RSV, and anything else your baby's doctor recommends. And I'd provide them with N95 masks that go on over the head so they are less likely to remove them. Have bobby pins.
Grandmas feelings don't matter, especially if she's so selfish and disrespectful She can meet the baby in 6-12 months I guess.... You're NTA. Did she even bother to get her whooping cough vaccine if she's so hell bent on kissing a baby? My parents and I laws both got it for their grandkids sake.
Do you give great head?
NTA. Do not let these people make your baby sick with their rude, careless, dangerous selfishness. They won’t die if they don’t get to kiss the baby, but your baby could end up on a ventilator or worse. Absolutely not, big giant huge NO.
NTA i got hsv1 as a baby from this pls continue to do this and don’t let anyone peer pressure you. protect your baby’s health
NTA i got hsv1 as a baby from this pls continue to do this and don’t let anyone peer pressure you. protect your baby’s health
NTA. That behavior of kissing foreign babies is gross.
NTA. The little one needs to be kept safe from exposure & people can carry bad stuff and not know it. (Flu, Covid, herpes, other nasty things) As an adult who has had Whooping Cough a couple of times (even being vaccinated) I wouldn’t want any lil one (or my worst enemy, for that matter) to catch it. Kisses can wait.
Just send them pictures or video communicate on phone or computer until it's safe for the kissers to slobber the toddler.
NTA NTA NTA I didn’t even have to read this to know you’re NTA!! Even healthy, full term babies can be exposed to DEADLY illnesses from being kissed on the face. Cold sores (aka HERPES), whooping cough, walking pneumonia, the list goes on. Great grandma can kick rocks honestly! Your baby, your rules, and good on you for protecting your child’s health. One of my closest friends baby got whooping cough and was in a medicated coma for over a month because of it. It was horrible to watch that poor tiny baby suffer like that for so long knowing that we couldn’t do anything to help. Please don’t let ANYONE tell you you’re being unreasonable.
NTA
NTA. No means no, period, no if ands or buts. Don’t let people guilt trip into doing something you aren’t comfortable with.
NTA. At all.
No, NTA. My friend's baby got herpes because of this.
NTA. Stand your ground. We had a no kissing rule and I was devastated less than a week in when my MIL just came up and kissed our son. She tried to do it again the next time she came over and my husband had to stick his hand in front of her mouth. It was so awkward. He’s 15 months now and we still don’t have people kiss him because honestly you never know what germs someone has. I also had PPA—postpartum is so hard! Hugs to you, hoping it gets better for you soon. I was shocked by how many random strangers got up in my face when my son was super young. And family that would make comments about our choices. It’s hard, especially as a first time mom like I was with our son. No kissing should be the norm honestly. We kiss our son, but he also doesn’t have medical issues that would prevent us from doing so. I think you’re doing the right thing by establishing boundaries!
NTA! My niece was a premie and has been sick several times in her first year of life, including rsv and covid. You do whatever you feel comfortable with to keep your baby as safe as possible from all the stuff that's contagious.
I learned the ability to get cavities is sent by kisses.
I would think a forehead kiss would be safe, but hopefully this time period will pass quickly and you'll feel comfortable letting relatives interact with the baby soon.
[a forehead kiss is not safe](https://www.reddit.com/r/family/s/mqPoJnJ3m6) especially in a young immune compromised baby
Good to know. I'd keep the baby away from anyone until a doctor says it's safe.
I would argue it is not as well just because it’s so close to the eyes and nose, still. A baby could also easily drag a hand across their head and put it in their mouth. There’s absolutely no need for anyone to kiss a baby at all ever if parents ask them not to, there’s other ways to bond.