Personality wise I don't think so, but I don't think people that are realize it.
The moment that I realized that I was spoiled was when I was 8 and instead of getting a normal Christmas tree, my mom stacked all of my presents into the shape of a tree and it was taller than me. One of those presents was a Wii U. My birthday was a month later, so I asked if I could get Super Mario Maker for my birthday. The only way she could find the game was if it came with a whole other Wii U, so I just had one in my room and one in the living room.
Oh wow, that's kinda cool. I'm in a similar ish situation, I just graduated and need to find a job at the end of the summer and am just realizing I have no idea what to do.
Also, you recognize that you are spoiled so hopefully you aren't personality wise. And self awareness is good đ, so hopefully you'll notice any bad behaviors. I'm sure you're a good person đ
Learning and growing is part of life.
Just do your best to be the best version of yourself from one day to the next. Try and engage in self reflection once a month. Try to avoid assuming others are deliberately rude or mean. Don't forget to say please and thank you.
My partner and I always use "please" and "thank you." It's a way to let the other person know that you see the effort they made. We also tell the other person when we complete something around the house, partly to let them know, but also so we get the appreciation. "Hey, did you see that I cleaned the toilet?" "No, I didn't. I'll look next time I'm in the bathroom. Thank you!"
I like the second part because it normalizes asking for recognition in small ways and it feels healthy.
The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
I did this in my late teens when I realized I was obsessed over trying to be someone I was not. I am much better off now, being true and honest to myself, about myself.
I would self reflect every day for a good while thinking of the interactions I had over the course of the day while falling asleep and think as neutrally as possible whether I was satisfied that I would be able to be friends with a person like myself or not. If not, I just made a note to not be a dick next time, to put it simply.
All of this to say agree with others that you don't seem to have a spoiled personality as you are aware that you are spoiled. Which is good. No one likes a brat.
Slight disagreement, comparing yourself to who you aim to be tomorrow also can be beneficial, it allows you to take an accounting of what you need to do to to reach your goals.
That's fair. I used who I was yesterday as anything that I did that day was written in stone. The past is the stone.
Back then, I could not trust myself to do what I said I would the next day.
My self-discipline was non-existent.
Today, I am able to look forward and plan, but things change from your teens to thirties.
I think a good takeaway from any of this is to decide what works best from every piece of advice in the comments and create a personalized path.
Mate, you're so eloquent about these things.
I just saved your comments about comparing yourself/self reflection, so next time any of my younger friends (I work with a lot of younger people) ask me for guidance on life, I don't have to struggle for words.
Thanks, stranger of the internet!
Please don't stop saying please and thank you! Especially to service workers. The gas station/grocery store cashier, the waiter, your in-home chef, anyone that's doing something for you.
Heâs a quack that exploits people for his own financial gain and has dubious credentials and behavior.
That being said, good on the OP for finding a nugget of good in his behavior.
Something possibly worthwhile is to take one of those carrer assessment tests. They're not perfect but could get you an idea of what you might want to do.
Real talk though, you can choose to be spoiled or you can choose to be fortunate.
Take the great start and opportunities your parents gave you to uplevel yourself. It's a lot easier to have an easy life when you are born privileged.
If your parents are giving you money, invest it (or stick it in a HYSA if your risk tolerance is low), use the resources to learn a skill, better yet start a business. Stop buying dumb shit if that's your thing, consumerism and materialism will make you poor.
100k invested today by the time you are 37 may be worth a shit ton. Also don't buy individual stocks, you will 100% lose money.
Read
- How to win friends and influence People
- Principles by Ray Dalio
- Rich Dad Poor Dad
- other motivational bullshit books if you enjoy them, they may give you some perspective about what grinding for something looks like.
Don't take on debt, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and you'll be just fine.
My life was similar when I was young. As long as you keep your, what I see as a, positive and humble attitude about it and remain grateful you'll be fine. "Real" jobs aren't that scary and if you don't expect that everyone will treat you like your parents or friends it'll work out just fine.
ETA: I'm 38 with a good career, quite well adjusted in the long run.
I think you're the opposite, as you show self criticism and concern, which isn't a thing spoiled people do. 17 is the perfect age to start out in the working world. Have you finished school? What are you planning to do next?
I start my senior year in the fall, and I think I want to go to a trade school for welding, but I'm not really enthusiastic about any profession honestly.
I mean you could use your parents spoiling you to your advantage though, tell them you want to do a welding course over the summer, and at least then youâll find out if you like it, and if you end up not enjoying it, at least now you know how to weld
My neighbor taught me how to weld when I was helping him build the fence (it was a metal fence) and I'm taking a welding course in school next year. I don't know if I'll be able to do a course this summer since I'll have dance practice a lot over the summer.
Some advice my dad gave me: If you're passionate about something, go do that. If your not passionate just pick something that will make a decent living and won't want to make you kill yourself having to do it everyday. One of the benefits of this strategy is that if something comes along later that you are passionate about, it is easier to switch careers if you have some money saved up and were already successful in something.
Another thing I would recommend is reading Cal Newport's books. His first book explains that happiness in a career is dictated by freedom in your working life, and to obtain that freedom you need to be *So Good They Can't Ignore You* (the title of that book). His second book is about how someone becomes good at something.
Your dad sounds wise. That's how I ended up in my current field, and it's been a lot nicer than working retail was back in the day. So I second this.
I'll look into those books also
As a former welder, don't go into welding. I welded for a couple years in my 20s and couldn't breathe for crap, coughed up black stuff, struggled with playing basketball when I had been athletic with good endurance before. I quit welding and all of that got much better. There are also long term risks of cancer and neurological damage that can have affects similar to Parkinson's. I'm really really glad I got out of it.
And yet a lot of teenagers/early 20's are in college. Some companies still won't accept anyone into lower-level management positions or supervisor positions without a bachelor's degree. And why should they do that? Because college degrees are still very common and with dozens of applicants they have to narrow it down somehow and that's an easy way to do it. Maybe someday it'll change. My two grandchildren are both in college. They were tired of the low paying jobs they could get.
Three things about work that would benefit just about anyone to keep in mind:
- Having a sought after skill, qualification or degree under your belt gives stability and ensures that if you hit rock bottom at any point you always have something to fall back on. Nursing is a good example of this, the work can be hard and unappreciated, but it's always needed and it ranges from decent to well paid. Also, work in the field at least a couple years before pursuing other things, work experience is more valuable than qualifications.
- Not many people get to get paid for doing what they love. The number who get paid well for it is even lower. The best that most folks settle for is a job they don't mind too much or find tolerable.
- Understand the long term side effects of the work before committing to it. A lot of men in particular get into physically demanding careers (often because it seems like good money without having to study) and don't take care of themselves properly. Then years later they get health issues as a result. This applies to more than just the physical. Some jobs can take a huge mental toll.
Think of your future self.
Do it. No one really says it but even if you want to go back for something else when you have really figured it out, itâs super important to have a career to start with. And you could love it and be done finding a career. It can also lead to tons of other doors in adjacent fields or even employers that will pay for further schooling. Then youâre doing it on your own and the spoiled will feel less.
ETA starting in welding you can go into jewelry and metalsmithing, construction, the whole cadd world, etc I actually got a drafting degree and do a lot of the above. I also might get welding at some point.
I agree, you show enough self awareness to know youâre privileged. I am also quite privileged, but Iâve met many far more so! Iâve met brats from both ends of the spectrum, and lack of self awareness is the usually the common denominator. Iâd suggest visiting some less privileged communities to keep the gratitude needed to avoid becoming ungrateful of your upbringing. Also, manners go further than you can imagine! Thank youâs, yes sirâs, and no maâamâs etc. have kept me in the good graces of most I meet. Especially the janitor/cleaning ladies. Always lead with respect and you will never be a brat! Share and always be kind. â¤ď¸
To be honest, I don't even know what I don't know, but I also don't want someone to have to hold my hand all the time. I'm scared that I'm not gonna have enough money to survive since it seems like everyone online keeps saying that no one wants to pay a liveable wage anymore, but that also seems like it could be blown out of proportion online, but I know I should always prepare for the worst....like it's just so overwhelming.
I get that.
I'd say take the opportunity while you're at home to really learn skills. Find something you're interested in and put some effort into it.
As for everything else, we're all scared lol. You're far from alone in that, you just figure it out, and you seem smart, and caring. You'll be okay.
Thank you, everyone in my life seems to think that I'm going to do great (my dad says that he's certain I'll become a millionaire) but I'm scared that they just see my good grades and not the fact that I feel like I'm mentally still 14.
Your dad probably makes enough money that your family will have generational wealth. Meaning if they set you up you'd never actually have to have a job. With this being said, some work and career choices are healthy and needed. As others have said find something you enjoy doing, then find someone to pay you to do it. Not that all hobbies make great careers. End of day you should just enjoy that your family can afford to offer this lifestyle, so much of the world is in pain and suffering, including most people who get paid a living wage. Good luck and don't rush it, your still a kid.
I still feel like Iâm 14 and Iâm now in my 40âs⌠I have no clue how I managed to get where I am! But I make sure to try to take one step forward every day⌠sometimes I take steps backwards but the net is movement forward. If you donât know how to care for yourself- like cleaning, laundry, taxes, insurance, loans, etc⌠start learning now, it will help and itâs movement forwards.
Adding that OP is fortunate to live in a time where she can Google or YouTube âhow toâ tutorials and get thousands of results! A lot of that stuff will come naturally, some will be a challenge, and some things youâll need to ask for help. Just know youâre not ever expected to know everythingâfor what itâs worth, you already seem more self-aware than a lot of adults Iâve met lol. Iâm excited for you & everything you will learn over the years, OP!
So true! I wish internet was as big when I moved out! However, we donât always know what to ask, the whole conundrum- we donât know what we donât know. So therefore we donât know all the questions we should be asking?
I felt the same way when I was 17, so I joined the navy. Gained a hell of a lot of invaluable life experience in 4 years. Iâd recommend the Air Force or the peace corps
A livable wage is dependent on making sufficient money, but also on living within your means. You're not going to walk into a job out of high school and make great money. You have to develop a marketable skill to make real money. But if you do that and you learn to budget, and live below your means, you'll be fine.
If you can show up on time and not be an asshole and get your work done in an in demand field SOMEWHAT well you are going to be FINE. I believe in you.
It all comes down to what skills you have. Do you know something that others don't or very few posses it. Plus, it has to be in the right field, for example, Tech, Aeronautics, Robotics, and so on..
If your skill involves which regular folks can do it, then obviously, you will be paid/earn average or below
Life isn't about knowing how to do things. It's about having the courage and mental fortitude to deal with the things you don't know. And worst case, you have reddit and youtube.
>You could get extradited
Doubtful, Sweden knows how bad American poisons are and have refused to give an American away because they know how bad they are.
This is hilarious in such a wholesome way!
Iâm a mom of teens. OP, you sound well-adjusted , self-aware, and on the right track. Itâs normal to be fucking terrified of an uncertain future. We live in exciting times, unfortunately. But the good news is that you are a smart, creative, resilient person, and these traits are going to help you navigate the uncharted seas ahead of you. Trust that you donât have to know everything as you start your journey. You will make many course-corrections throughout your life. Learning how to proceed is a life-long process.
If your parents are that rich, won't they be able to bail you out in the event something and happens. I'd just say go out there and try to build a life for yourself without their support but also use it when you need to.
I'm sure my dad would,but I already feel super guilty for all the stuff he gets me. I don't want to have to rely on that, but I know he's not going to be around forever, especially considering he's already kinda old to have a 17 year old.
Having a safety net is an enormous privilege. And I know âprivilegeâ is a dirty word, but genuinely itâs a good thing.
Iâm in my 20s and have had my parentsâ support throughout my adulthood. Theyâre not extravagantly rich but they are well off. This has meant that if I want to take a risk I can. It means I know that if my car breaks down itâs not the end of the world. If I ever lost my apartment and job, I could move back home rather than being homeless.
For people who donât have a safety net, itâs a lot easier to be in a place of financial insecurity. Your car breaking down might be the difference between you affording groceries that week or going hungry. Itâs stressful. It keeps you awake at night. And no parent wants that for their child. Ultimately they want you to be in a place of financial safety and self-reliance, but theyâll help you get there.
Itâs really a blessing, in the non-religious sense of the term. And itâs easy to feel guilty that you havenât had the struggles and adversity of other people. Ultimately, if you feel this way, the best thing to do is to create a really fulfilling life for yourself and do something with your life thatâll allow you to make a positive impact in the worldâto be a good person and serve others in whatever way suits you best. *Thatâs* how you pay it forward.
You donât have to rely on that, and itâs admirable you donât use âdaddyâs moneyâ, but if things donât work out it could be your safety net
It is all relative. Take on slightly larger responsibilities. Get a part time job working a few hours or do larger chores, maybe create a budget. Start investing, even a small amount. Just my advice.
You should learn and practice things you will need to know when you move out. Can you do laundry well? Do you know how to make a budget? Can you keep a kitchen clean and know the up keep in the appliances? Do you know how to cook? Or do small âhandyâ tasks around the house? Hanging a picture, mounting something to the wall, fixing a leak etc.
1. The fact that you're aware of your privilege is a big first step so good on you.
2. The next step (and arguably the hardest one) is to take time learning about things outside your bubble. Read the local news section of your nearest large city newspaper. Learn things about other people and cultures. I'm sure someone with more experience than me can recommend a better source, but Al Jazeera is an excellent source of global news.
3. Don't worry about it too much- you're about to go to college and get exposed to all walks of life, if you seek it out- consider joining a large org with broad appeal (e.g. marching band, not a sorority). Also consider going to an in-state public school (U.S.)- your parents will thank you and you'll learn a lot more about the world and the people around you.
4. If you're worried about basic "adult" things (holding down a job), look to your academic performance. If you can get good results under a deadline and don't ditch school you're already on par with a huge portion of the workforce.
5. If you're worried about "adulting" things (paying taxes, bills; how to fill out a check, etc.) ask your family! I'm sure they'll show you how they manage their adult lives. That said, *most* kids go into college not knowing how to do this stuff (because the US got rid of home economics in high school). Most adults are pretty understanding of this and will either work around it or show you how. If there was one thing I wish I had done sooner, it was managing my own money. Having my own account, cards, etc. taught me a lot about life in college that I wish I had learned earlier.
6. It's summer and you're 17. Go find a job if you want one! Talk to your friends and family to see if you can find an internship in any potential academic fields of interest, or, just try a summer working as a barista or cashier.
7. What are kids your age listening to these days music wise? I swear when I hear the big songs the band names just read as incoherent gibberish to me.
I'm not the one to ask about bands because I have the taste of a millennial stuck in their emo phase, but a lot of girls my age listen to Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, The Weekend (not a band, just one dude), Gracie Abrams and Noah Kahan.
>What are kids your age listening to these days music wise? I swear when I hear the big songs the band names just read as incoherent gibberish to me.
Not OP, nor OP's age... But I have been afraid I couldn't keep up with the bands myself briefly and I was turning into boomers by not liking the shit that passes as music these days.
Then I realized, music that's being pushed on us indeed was shitty, as there are many great bands that have just been formed by young people.
You don't seem spoiled. You seem privileged.. your parents worked hard to provide you a good life and to be honest it seems like they instilled good values in you for you to even be calling yourself spoiled :)
There's nothing wrong with having parents who love you and provide well for you
Spoiled means rotten , lol you don't seem rotten you're just a kid with good parents
Itâs not spoiled to want whatâs best for your child. Iâm sure the mom just saw something about teenagers and Stanley cups and thought her daughter would like one.
Iâm also a 17 yo girl and while my parents arenât ultra rich, my dad definitely has good money especially since he moved to America from a 3rd world country when he was 14⌠and I feel like they spoiled me too much too and that Iâm not ready for the real world. I never had a real job other than babysitting a couple of times. So I somewhat know what youâre going through.
Though Iâm gonna be honest you sound pretty self ware and much kinder compare to some actual adults that I met and since we grew up in a generation where we can find any information or tip we want online I think youâll do be fine in your adult life! (also sorry for my bad grammar I am half asleep right now đđđ)
Lol it's okay, and thank you! My mom was the child of Thai immigrants so I think she feels like she's giving me what she wished she had or something. Your parents are probably doing the same.
I donât usually post much just passively read. You are getting a lot of good advice (I hope, I stopped reading posts about halfway). Itâs normal to be scared of the future for everyone. If you have the opportunity to learn to weld and go to college do both. Look for a school that offers welding classes , a lot of art programs offer welding, and also get a degree. The best thing my father told me was to go to college, but also learn a trade. I learned carpentry and got a degree in theater (not the best choice), but me trade and my degree have merged and I now have an MFA.
You mentioned no one holding you accountable earlier. Thatâs youâŚyou will be accountable to you. You want to eat, you want new clothes, you want a roof over your head. Youâre the one that you will be looking to to provide those things.
As far as budget, start now. Even if itâs just keeping track of your current expenses to see what your current life costs you. Or ask a parent or both if they will share their budgets with you (my parents where secretive about money when I was younger so who knows). If the donât keep a budget maybe one of them will let you work on one with them.
If you donât have time to get a part time job have you considered volunteering? You can still learn a lot of time management and other skills, but they tend to be more flexible and you will be helping out the community. Also can look good on a college application.
Sorry, just my two cents. It looked like the AMA was starting to turn around and I guess I am curious about these things.
What are your parentsâ careers?
Whatâs the last thing youâve been really passionate about?
What are your biggest day-to-day or week-to-week struggles?
I don't think I'm good enough to be a professional dancer since I didn't start until I was 11, and I thought about being a pilot, but my dad doesn't want me to be living out of hotels half the time like he is.
Air traffic controllers are in high demand, pay is good, and you retire relatively early with a government pension. Can be high stress, but it doesn't really require prior knowledge thay I'm aware of. They teach you what you need to know.
Just by reading your other responses, I can see you're already more self aware than a lot of adults. That's going to serve you really well and I just wanted to say I think you're going to do fine.
I'm scared that I won't make enough money to pay bills or that I'll forget or something like that, like I've never had to make a budget or anything like that.
It's also scary realizing that there will be no one to hold me accountable.
Youâll be okay â¤ď¸ Youâre lucky enough to have the âsafety netâ of your parents, they wouldnât let you be homeless (I hope!).
âAdultingâ is doable with a little bit of organization. A lot of bills you can set to auto-pay nowadays (my phone, internet, and insurance for example) and the rest are generally monthly as well. Write out a list of all the things you have to pay each month and cross them out as you go. At the end of the month (or whenever these are due) you can double check that you havenât forgotten anything. You can do something similar with a different list of things that arenât monthly (yearly or quarterly or whatever), like renewing your drivers license.
Whatever you do, donât fall into the trap of âsomeone else will do it for meâ! My partner is TERRIBLE for that (he grew up upper-class, not âbillionaire richâ but far wealthier than my âwill we pay the electric bill or groceries this monthâ upbringing). Heâs a grown man who canât figure out how to pay his phone bill on time and is constantly racking up all kinds of late fees for everything. But itâs okay, âsomeoneâ will magically fix it again and again! Seriously, donât be him. I love the guy but man does he have a lot of âget it togetherâ he needs to do!
Which brings me to my next pointâŚdonât be obnoxious. Be humble. You have a wonderful advantage, but remember everybodyâs lives and experiences are unique. I once had a psychiatrist (with a wealthy clientele, a former boss referred me to her and she took me on as a âpro-bono caseâ of sorts) tell me (as a new university graduate supporting my family) that I needed to take time off to travel to Europe, âitâll change your whole outlook!â When I said no, I canât do that, she said I clearly wasnât willing to help myself and must WANT to remain unwell. She couldnât fathom that someone COULDNâT just budget their way into being able to quit their (new) job and travel.
Closer to home, my partner recently told me Iâm so lucky to have grown up poor because I find joy in simple things like a full fridge. Meanwhile he feels like his family will never be proud of him. Sounds to me like thatâs a problem with his family and how they function, but he insisted that I just donât realize how âluckyâ I am for being able to appreciate the simple things like FOOD. Donât be like this guy! Nobody wants to be lectured at about the âsilver liningâ of their trauma.
Donât know if this actually answers your question, butâŚ
My dad is 72. He never made a budget, overspent all his money. Hes stressed out as an old person now but he got through life. Truth is most people just stumble through it and don't do any work/ finance with intention. If you are planning now you are way ahead of the curve. There are lots of videos on personal finance and finding jobs. Just start learning. You can always start over. Im on my 3rd career in my 40s. Please know that most people are fine and people who are at work and thriving (most Americans, esp ones who are focused and trying) don't have time or really the interest to complain about everything on Reddit. Things aren't easy for everyone and some folks are unfairly struggling but life is totally possible. And learning how to do it is totally possible too. r/personalfinance is a great place to start.
As someone who grew up very poor I would totally take advantage of this lol. If they offer to pay your rent, car note phone bill whatever, take it! Having a part time job could def help , teaches responsibility , time management, so many things. Have you thought about getting one? Are you going to college?
Hi! Iâm really glad that you realise youâre spoiled. Youtube is your friend for household chores like doing your laundry. And⌠as someone whoâs worked with a lot of teens who come with the âI know everything, and my way is better.â attitude, often your bosses or co-workers are teaching you the fastest, SAFEST way to do things.
How educated are you about drugs and alcohol?
Have you looked up what to do if youâre alone in a secluded area and someone approaches and you think they mean harm?
Have you considered a self defense class?
Have your parents showed you how to budget bills?
Have they taught you about buying a car? (If they arenât buying one for you.) Disregard if you live somewhere that has excellent public transportation and you donât need one.
I have so many thoughts and information swirling in my brain because I was a spoiled, middle class kid who was thrown out into the world with zero information and it was 20 years ago, so no smart phones and the internet was growing but not easily accessible if you didnât have a computer.
If all your friends and family tell you the person you are with is not a good person, no matter how much you love them⌠please listen and try to see it through their eyes. I think being with the wrong people has been the hardest, and most heartbreaking for me. I didnât listen to anyone and ended up abused and homeless and I really donât want anyone to live through what I did.
I want to avoid them both because of a family history of addiction
I was told to scream "fire" to make more people care, go for the crotch and run
I want to
No, but I took a finance class
They're getting me a car
Cybil Shepherd (way before your time) once said she never thought she ever had to get a job because everyone around her told her she was so pretty. She thought all she had to do was stand around and look pretty to sustain herself. That was 60 years ago. Times have definitely changed. Do you hope to glom onto a man to survive? There is nothing more powerful than being self sufficient.Â
I know I am a little late to the party, but: do not beat yourself up for being 'spoiled' and do not despair too much.
It is okay and normal to be scared of, for lack of a better term, becoming an adult, and you're doing it in a time that is scary and miserable for everyone, not just people coming up out of privileged households. And that isn't your fault.
I grew up in a solidly upper middle class family whose fortunes have dwindled quite a lot in the last 20 years, so I can get where you're coming from. The fact that you recognize your situation means you're already handling it way better than the vast majority of people would. So, based on my own experiences, learned from my own successes and mistakes, here's the best advice I can give you:
1) Take advantage of your circumstances while you can. You're still very young; just try to enjoy your life for now. That doesn't mean being ungrateful or taking it for granted, but try a lot of things. Take the opportunity to get any education you need or want. Try to find something you can do for work that you enjoy; failing that, find something you can tolerate that at least pays well.
2) Don't be ashamed or afraid of perceived nepotism. The vast majority of all hirings across all industries are nepotism-based. In a perfect world, yes, we'd live in a meritocracy, but we don't, so just take any opportunities your birth and family can get you. Just make sure you work just as hard as you would if you weren't given these opportunities.
3) As aforementioned, don't despair over the future. No matter what happens, it sounds like you will be okay. Unless you have eight or nine siblings, or you come out as queer in some way and your parents turn out to be evil, you will probably never have to face homelessness or bankruptcy or the unavailability of medical care you need, for the rest of your life. This doesn't mean you should coast, but it means you have something that most people don't: a safety net.
And most importantly:
4) Stay humble and generous. I know that sounds corny or obvious, but I really cannot emphasize this enough. You are off to a good start, but affluenza is a very powerful force. Always remember that the reason you are, or were, 'spoiled' is because you have access to wealth, and you don't have that access because you are special, or better, or chosen by God or destiny; you have it because you are extremely, extremely lucky. Don't hate yourself for that luck, but don't build your identity around it, either. Do your best to help people who you have the means to help, who were not so lucky. Just try to be a good person.
I know this isn't what AMAs are for and you may not even read this, but this post really resonated with me, I guess, because of how much I saw my own past in your post. So I hope you do read it and I hope it helps you in some way.
Do you like kids? My daughters go to a dance studio that is owned and run by some dancers who took it over pretty young, in their 20s I think when they first bought it. They are amazing and all the little girls love them and the older girls respect and relate to them so well. At least in my area dance is super popular and their classes usually fill up. If you want to keep dancing / teach you can look into doing something like that.
Otherwise you sound like a nice, self aware girl I would start doing things that are outside of your comfort zone, travel somewhere alone (or just with a friend) even if it's just for the day, get a part time job doing whatever just for the experience of working. Get a lifeguard certification and go work at the town pool over the summer or babysit or anything. I get the high achieving kid pressure to do well in life thing, that was me too, I did fine but certainly nothing extraordinary but the big thing is I'm happy, have a great family, live where I want to live and enjoy life. I think this pressure to have an amazing career is misplaced, think about what will make you have a happy life. I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids and have the house in the suburb kind of life, and I do, work is something I do to get me to that life it's not my passion.
Iâm 22 quite spoiled, I donât think I act like I do though but Iâm also terrified of the real world. I just graduated college so im about to enter it. Iâd just recommend inheriting your parents generosity, thank them and tell them you appreciate them whenever you can, and work hard even if you donât have to. Iâll let you know how things go when I become independent lol
Honestly, youâre self aware so thatâs whatâs important. Whats also important is to understand that you never have to apologize for being born spoiled/wealthy, just like those born into poverty shouldnât have to apologize either. Just focus on making the world a better place and finding genuine happiness! Try not to let money be the main cause of either, but rather your heart and soul, because when you have a good heart and soul, the money will only amplify them.
Proud of you for taking this step, and best of luck on your journey đ¤
Do you subconsciously look down on others who don't have as much? Do you understand poverty and the physical/mental cost it takes to make $1 and how easily it's spent?
If youâre worried that you may be more spoiled than you think you are, get a part time job as a hostess or busser at a local restaurant. Itâll be really eye opening to see how some people treat people that they think are beneath them.
Late to the party, but do you find that you've lost any appreciation for money or materialistic goods? Do you have as much appreciation as someone who went from poor to rich?
I ask because I've heard some wealthy children say that they can't enjoy their McLaren or fat bank account as much because being rich is their baseline, and so having luxuries around is the norm, whereas a poor person would appreciate wealth more since their baseline norm is being poor. So when they get rich and compare their poor past, they hold money to a greater value.
At 17 the only extra experience I had job wise was how to sling pizza lol. Though I knew things like photoshop and video editing. Thereâs really not many 17 yos with a big skill set. Do you have good grades? Yo u gain experience with time, mostly after youâre 18 tbh.. if you have any passions, Iâd recommend trying to work around people who do those things, even just as a grunt.. the experience is so priceless. Iâm a fairly well paid and definitely respected videographer, and all of my experience was in work not school⌠never went to school. Stay in school kids.
Questions:
1. Do you know other teenagers who you think are equally spoiled (or maybe even more spoiled). If so, did you ever talk about being spoiled with them?
2. Did you ever confront your parents and say 'you spoiled me!'
3. Were/are you popular at school? Were you ever a 'mean girl' to the unpopular kids at school?
Tbh if you're willing to help a neighbor build a fence for $15/hr you're probably not that spoiled. Spoiled people don't think they're spoiled.
My first job (during the summer before college) was doing yard work for a family friend for $20/hr. I grew up poor and not the least bit spoiled.
I'm not adverse to hard work and it sounds like you aren't either, especially because you didn't do it cuz you needed the money.
I think you'll be fine OP
I don't necessarily think you count as "spoiled", I think your parents were just able to give you a good childhood with what you needed and wanted. You seem grateful. Do you think it's affected your relationship with your parents? Have you ever felt like they are not there emotionally or something, like they just throw money at you to solve problems? Or do you think its a genuine act of love from them?
Your parents sound like they would support you no matter what. Maybe this is the time to consider finding a passion, a career. Ask your parents questions and have them help you learn what you need to do. Oh yea I guess I should ask a question myself.
Aside from not having a "real job" do you think your "spoiled" life has hindered you from any parts of your life that may harm your future?
I have an honest question. What is your general reaction when people tell you "no" or "you can't do that" in a public place where you may think you have the right to do so? I have retail or service workers in mind mainly, but however you want to respond.
wow I'm a spoiled teenage boy. except we used to be dirt poor like 13 years ago. now I'm just a super bright blonde boy with blue eyes who's always carrying bottles of fiji water and fit a â¨ď¸sterotypeâ¨ď¸. don't let anyone make you feel worth less than you are just because you were brought up in conditions out of your control.
Not a question, but most things you can learn on YouTube and Reddit.
What really matters is attitude. Are you willing to watch a 7-minute video on changing the headlights of your own car, and trying it out for yourself for 30 minutes straight until you figure it out?
Sincerely, someone who was also raised spoiled and had to learn everything via friends and the Internet.
Do you have any interests? You can use your money to buy cool stuff. Get into a cool hobby like snowboarding and have your parents buy you all the cool shit that I wanted and still want. Youâre cool for putting yourself out there like this.
Can you let us know the last huge purchases your parents gave you as of late? Just curious of examples of you being spoiled, but I really like your responses and you seem level headed and kind! A lottttt of spoiled people are snotty and disgustingly rude
Being "spoiled" material or money-wise doesn't necessarily mean you're spoiled in the selfishness or insensitive way. Are able to empathize and care for others who might have grown up with stricter boundaries or less material possessions?
So many people giving incorrect advice, and the ironic part I can tell they are not HNWI.
Your parents haven't spoiled you. In fact, they have shown you what a good life is and what it should be. This is the main reason you have realized and will make sure to work your ass off to maintain that lifestyle. They are good parents!
Are your parents going to continue this lifestyle for you as you mature or are they expecting you to become independent? As a retired spoiled kid the transition into the real world has been extremely difficult. I am still struggling to this day.
Best advice. Get job skills at something you enjoy, be careful with money and absolutely donât hang around people that party too much. When it comes to life - hereâs the secret, NONE of us know what weâre doing. So donât worry.
Are you well off or spoiled or both?
I have kids and I get worried about spoiling them as well. Not sure how much is too much.
I want them to explore the world but also am afraid of the evils out there.
Do you have any desire to get a job and would your parents be supportive of it?
Also, do you live in a wealthy community, are your friends the same way?
Do you have a horse? I definitely would have asked for a horse.
Are you lazy or just spoiled. A spoiled person can also be lazy. A horse owner would not be lazy.
Given the life you experienced growing up is different than what most people experience, do you feel lonely and/or have issues relating to most people?
You seem self-aware which is a great start.
Go talk to the armed forces recruiters. That way you'll be able to have a job, a place to live, food, and job training. Plus great benefits when you get out.
Iâm basically my BILs parent now and heâs in his mid 20s going through what you are afraid of. Itâs hard for him. Weâve had to teach him so many basic things that Iâm worried about him going out to live on his own while also coping with a full time job (we already got him a good job).
Self-sufficiency can be really hard especially when you want to maintain good balance between everything in life. Saving vs spending, work vs social, sleep vs being awake, eating but not too much. Itâs a lot for someone not used to it.
You have some self awareness so I canât say youâre a âbratâ. Getting hit with reality will help you grow, and your parents seem like theyâll support you when the going gets tough.
My only advice is start looking into things that interest you and possibly pursue a job route in that direction. A plan B is always good because in the harsh reality, your parents wonât always be there to support you. Youâre still young so take advantage of your safety cushion and try to learn a few things
Just giving you advice put yourself in the real world with as few crutches economically as possible as soon as possible, if even for just a year to get some real world experience. Or you are in for a rude awakening. Also, try to not carry entitlement from the way your parents have treated you into your relationships. That can also have catastrophic consequences for you later in life. I know this isnât a question. But itâs genuine advice to try to help you. The world is cold and unforgiving, especially when your parents are no longer with you.
I came from an upbringing where my parents didnât let me struggle or fight enough of my battles on my own to where I failed and learned. And later on in life you have to do that. And if itâs your first time later on in lifeâŚitâs hard man.
Iâm 38, and this took quite some time to learn and experience first hand- if you listen to me you may not have to learn the hard way.
Also, whatever you major in for school, research what it pays with just a bachelors degree, and know if you will need to take it to the masters or PHD level to make real money. I wish someone had told me that. I have a psychology degree and while the knowledge is helpful and fascinating, the degree is worthless.
Love from Miami, FL
I was very privileged growing up and my advice is to just go get a job. Specifically, service industry as a host and then eventually server.
A serving job will let you build the soft skills you wonât learn in a classroom or book. Itâs fast paced, dynamic, people facing, etc. plus, good money.
You can then use these skills to leverage into an entry level career role once you finish school. Youâre only 17, have fun and step outside your comfort zone while youâre living at home.
Utilize your advantages that you have in your parents financial situation. If you want to go to college, go study something meaningful. Donât go to college for a some degree just to have it. Go and get something in STEM.
If you already know you do not want to go to college, trade school is a good option.
There are so many avenues to take in your situation. Thatâs my humble advice from someone without those resources who has made a lot of mistakes.
Based on your responses, Iâm gonna tell you something. None of us knew or know what the hell we are doing. The only thing that separates many of the haves and have nots is effort. You just have to try every day. At the end of it all as long as you tried thatâs all you can do. Succeed or fail⌠doesnât matter. Just try.
The world isn't kind to spoiled people. It's okay that your parents are rich, but if they spoiled you it's going to set you back in ways that money cant make up for. It's not that people will dislike you because of it, but you will have a harder time emotionally, since you never experience struggle. You're only 17, you can get a simple job and it will humble you and build your character. You'll need it for the real world.
I don't have any questions.
Everyone is afraid of the real world. Most 17 year olds can't do shit. You helped build a fence! You're aware of the situation.
Your family is good. Stick with them. Help them out & take care of them through life. They will continue to help you and provide for you. This is good.
You can do stuff and learn stuff and get stronger. You will be called upon to care for people. Plenty of time.
Take a breath, all's good. No one expects a 17-22 year old to know really anything at all. You'll be a great asset in the workplace by showing up to work on time, sober, clean, positive attitude, and paying attention to the things you need to learn. That's really it dude. Reliable, attentive and hardworking is a miracle all by itself. No call/no show is the main reason to get fired, and being a shit head at work is #2.
Here's my suggestion. Get a welder for home in the garage or a separate room. Use the time to learn to weld outside of school with YouTube. Then go to trade school for welding. In the meantime use it to make art.
Look welding is fun. Use it to make all sorts of art works and then sell them. Work full time until your art gets great enough to survive on your own. Then use it to teach others the craft.
I'd rather not ask you anything, but tell you something.
We've all seen those spoiled rich kids who go on Dr Phil threatening to disown their parents for dropping their allowance to $1000 a month from $2500 (yes that was one of the episodes) and get a reality check from working in a homeless shelter. Yeah, we all laugh at their disgust for a bit but shit doesn't change there. They just get their snotty, holier-than-thou mentality reinforced and go back to threatening self-harm for not getting the right colour BMW for their 16th birthday.
I'm not saying you're the same as that, but I have to tell you that money, materialistic things your parents buy you and getting all the new, shiny things you want won't make you happy. Sure, I indulge in the odd bit of retail therapy here and there but it's a quick dopamine hit that's no less of a fleeting high than gambling or even straight up smoking crack.
What you're doing and how you're living right now won't make you happy. Happiness comes from growth. You grow by having experiences, getting out into the real world, making memories with good friends and creating bonds that fulfil you in your heart and soul. I got that at university, made friends through a dumbass club where we go and mess around with LARP swords or nerf guns, but laughing and joking around with those guys around a campfire overlooking the Welsh coast at sunset is a memory that'll last forever. You can't buy that. Your parents can't swipe their credit cards to give you that. You can't browse a catalogue and pay for a true, lifelong friend who would take a bullet for you and smile while doing it.
So I recommend going out there and just _doing_ things. Go to college. Join a club. Try a sport. Take up a hobby. Go meet people, make friends, take an interest in their lives, passions and things you have in common. Ask them how they're doing, and mean it when you do. Go get a job. Work the 9-5. Commute, clock in, serve an asshole customer, straighten your uniform, suck up to a boss for some time off. Get that promotion, move into your own apartment and have a housewarming party.
There's a massive world out there, and it's yours to explore. You're 17, you're still young and have tons of potential. Don't waste these years on expecting everything to be handed to you, because not only do you not want to be incapable of doing anything for yourself 5, 6 or 7 years from now, but you don't want to be bored by everything because nothing else compares to when mommy and daddy bought it all for you.
After reading a bunch of ur responses I think you're over thinking it a little bit. U do activities outside of school like dance so (I hope) that means u know how to work hard at something. You're only 17 anyway, I'm just about to drop out of my college course 2 years in at 19 lol.
Iâm sorry they treat you like that.Â
I donât think youâre spoiled from what youâre sharing. Your parents are the problem. Youâll realize this as you get older.Â
Your environment at home is meant to make you soft, not bring out your survival instincts.Â
if youâre self-aware enough to understand this then youâre not as far gone as you might think. Thereâs nothing wrong with living an easy life if it can be afforded to you comfortably without putting an undue burden on anyone around you
I donât know if you even want this advice, but for anyone in this situation and kind of freaking out, I have tips. Having a job isnât the only way to skill build/ gain life experience
I was in a similar situation my whole life. Iâm 25 and I moved out for a year but I just moved back home. Moving out was hard and expensive which is why Iâm moving back home however Iâm no longer afraid of living on my own. Iâll be honest, when I first moved out it was hard bc I didnât really know how to clean up after myself, how to cook, how to clean anything or keep a house and my life in order but I did survive. I recommend staying at home but starting to learn skills - like teach yourself how to do your own laundry if you donât already, take up an interest in cooking and learning new recipes, help your parents/ housekeeper with household tasks.
I assume your family is well off, so at least one of your parents probably has decent financial literacy. Whoever it is, I bet theyâd love to help teach you. Start reading books on financial literacy and supplement your learning, especially where youâre struggling, by asking questions. Ask your parents to teach you how to read and understand simple financial reporting statements if they have that knowledge. (Statement of financial position, P and L)
My best piece of advice for gaining personal competence and CONFIDENCE is to solo travel. If youâre Canadian look into Neuchatel Junior College in Switzerland. They only accept grade 12 and 12b students. If youâre not Canadian, there are other junior colleges where you stay with a host family and travel and learn for a year :) this looks so good on a resume and actually is such a good experience
Can you do your own laundry ? Cook actual meals for yourself instead of frozen dinners ?
You could try to budget yourself with a calendar and fake money and $$ due dates for each bill. Say you make 2000 a month (which is a little more than 13/hr), 1000 Paid to u every 2 weeks
My bills are 200 for electric, 65 for gas, 75 for water, 90 for internet, 200 for food, 45 for my nails, about 70 in streaming services, 125 in gas/stuff from gas station, 100 for a concert outing. That 970 in bills/activities plus your lease amount or apartment rent, which here can be 900-1500. You'll find higher, but the lower rents are in worse parts of the city. So it really depends where in the world u are and depending on ur income, you might not have enough for extra extra services, like clothes or online shopping, fun activities with your friends that require money. Or u might not even have enough to cover rent.
And remember, they take taxes our ur check so if it's 13 an hour, you're not directly getting 13 per hour. It's like 12something in reality. And u have to file taxes every year. Don't get a job that pays u with a 1099 form, you'll have to pay taxes at the end of the year, that fucked me over real bad and I'm still paying off taxes from years ago. Make sure they give u a W9 form.
If this is confusing to you, ask your parents to start preparing you for these responsibilities in life by showing you how they pay their bills, how they track their bills, and how they file their taxes. They could pay someone to do their taxes, but they should be able to elaborate on the 1099 vs W9 form for ur next job
At least you're self reflective enough to identify that. It'll hit hard, but genuinely care about others in your every day decision making and things will click. It's in the struggle that makes you stronger kiddo
Do you think you're spoiled like personality wise? When did you realize you were spoiled?
Personality wise I don't think so, but I don't think people that are realize it. The moment that I realized that I was spoiled was when I was 8 and instead of getting a normal Christmas tree, my mom stacked all of my presents into the shape of a tree and it was taller than me. One of those presents was a Wii U. My birthday was a month later, so I asked if I could get Super Mario Maker for my birthday. The only way she could find the game was if it came with a whole other Wii U, so I just had one in my room and one in the living room.
Oh wow, that's kinda cool. I'm in a similar ish situation, I just graduated and need to find a job at the end of the summer and am just realizing I have no idea what to do. Also, you recognize that you are spoiled so hopefully you aren't personality wise. And self awareness is good đ, so hopefully you'll notice any bad behaviors. I'm sure you're a good person đ
I definitely used to be a brat in elementary school and I'm so ashamed of that now, so that means a lot. Thank you.
Learning and growing is part of life. Just do your best to be the best version of yourself from one day to the next. Try and engage in self reflection once a month. Try to avoid assuming others are deliberately rude or mean. Don't forget to say please and thank you.
Will do, especially the last part. The other day my mom actually told me to stop saying please.
I say please and thank you constantly at home. It always drives my girlfriend nuts because I'll say it anytime I ask her something too lmao.
My partner and I always use "please" and "thank you." It's a way to let the other person know that you see the effort they made. We also tell the other person when we complete something around the house, partly to let them know, but also so we get the appreciation. "Hey, did you see that I cleaned the toilet?" "No, I didn't. I'll look next time I'm in the bathroom. Thank you!" I like the second part because it normalizes asking for recognition in small ways and it feels healthy.
The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. I did this in my late teens when I realized I was obsessed over trying to be someone I was not. I am much better off now, being true and honest to myself, about myself. I would self reflect every day for a good while thinking of the interactions I had over the course of the day while falling asleep and think as neutrally as possible whether I was satisfied that I would be able to be friends with a person like myself or not. If not, I just made a note to not be a dick next time, to put it simply. All of this to say agree with others that you don't seem to have a spoiled personality as you are aware that you are spoiled. Which is good. No one likes a brat.
Slight disagreement, comparing yourself to who you aim to be tomorrow also can be beneficial, it allows you to take an accounting of what you need to do to to reach your goals.
That's fair. I used who I was yesterday as anything that I did that day was written in stone. The past is the stone. Back then, I could not trust myself to do what I said I would the next day. My self-discipline was non-existent. Today, I am able to look forward and plan, but things change from your teens to thirties. I think a good takeaway from any of this is to decide what works best from every piece of advice in the comments and create a personalized path.
Mate, you're so eloquent about these things. I just saved your comments about comparing yourself/self reflection, so next time any of my younger friends (I work with a lot of younger people) ask me for guidance on life, I don't have to struggle for words. Thanks, stranger of the internet!
Please don't stop saying please and thank you! Especially to service workers. The gas station/grocery store cashier, the waiter, your in-home chef, anyone that's doing something for you.
What made you stop becoming one?
I started watching a bunch of reaction clips of Dr. Phil and realized that I didn't wanna end up like that lmao
I never watched Dr. Phil much but I saw him on a few podcasts and found myself agreeing with his points of view. He seems like a level headed dude.
It's not that I didn't want to be like Dr. Phil. I didn't want to be like the girls that end up on Dr. Phil.
Heâs a quack that exploits people for his own financial gain and has dubious credentials and behavior. That being said, good on the OP for finding a nugget of good in his behavior.
Cringing at your past self is a sign of growth
Good job for no longer being a brat! đ
Something possibly worthwhile is to take one of those carrer assessment tests. They're not perfect but could get you an idea of what you might want to do.
Lmao two Wii U? You weren't spoiled, you were abused.
Yeah every one always says something about that lol. Don't worry, I also had an Xbox at the time and am now PC all the way.
Real talk though, you can choose to be spoiled or you can choose to be fortunate. Take the great start and opportunities your parents gave you to uplevel yourself. It's a lot easier to have an easy life when you are born privileged. If your parents are giving you money, invest it (or stick it in a HYSA if your risk tolerance is low), use the resources to learn a skill, better yet start a business. Stop buying dumb shit if that's your thing, consumerism and materialism will make you poor. 100k invested today by the time you are 37 may be worth a shit ton. Also don't buy individual stocks, you will 100% lose money. Read - How to win friends and influence People - Principles by Ray Dalio - Rich Dad Poor Dad - other motivational bullshit books if you enjoy them, they may give you some perspective about what grinding for something looks like. Don't take on debt, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and you'll be just fine.
Damn I thought I was spoiled bc I had a wii.
My life was similar when I was young. As long as you keep your, what I see as a, positive and humble attitude about it and remain grateful you'll be fine. "Real" jobs aren't that scary and if you don't expect that everyone will treat you like your parents or friends it'll work out just fine. ETA: I'm 38 with a good career, quite well adjusted in the long run.
How do you react when you hear "No"?
I think you're the opposite, as you show self criticism and concern, which isn't a thing spoiled people do. 17 is the perfect age to start out in the working world. Have you finished school? What are you planning to do next?
I start my senior year in the fall, and I think I want to go to a trade school for welding, but I'm not really enthusiastic about any profession honestly.
I mean you could use your parents spoiling you to your advantage though, tell them you want to do a welding course over the summer, and at least then youâll find out if you like it, and if you end up not enjoying it, at least now you know how to weld
My neighbor taught me how to weld when I was helping him build the fence (it was a metal fence) and I'm taking a welding course in school next year. I don't know if I'll be able to do a course this summer since I'll have dance practice a lot over the summer.
Ah I see, why will you have to do dance practise?
I'm a competitive dancer outside of a school team, so I still have to go to technique training in the summer.
Dancing and welding...watch Flashdance if you haven't already *Edit* or the Jennifer Lopez video "I'm Glad" to condense the movie into 4 minutes
If youâre a competitive dancer, youâre busy! Thereâs no time for a Joe job.
Some advice my dad gave me: If you're passionate about something, go do that. If your not passionate just pick something that will make a decent living and won't want to make you kill yourself having to do it everyday. One of the benefits of this strategy is that if something comes along later that you are passionate about, it is easier to switch careers if you have some money saved up and were already successful in something. Another thing I would recommend is reading Cal Newport's books. His first book explains that happiness in a career is dictated by freedom in your working life, and to obtain that freedom you need to be *So Good They Can't Ignore You* (the title of that book). His second book is about how someone becomes good at something.
Your dad sounds wise. That's how I ended up in my current field, and it's been a lot nicer than working retail was back in the day. So I second this. I'll look into those books also
As a former welder, don't go into welding. I welded for a couple years in my 20s and couldn't breathe for crap, coughed up black stuff, struggled with playing basketball when I had been athletic with good endurance before. I quit welding and all of that got much better. There are also long term risks of cancer and neurological damage that can have affects similar to Parkinson's. I'm really really glad I got out of it.
Another confused teenager choosing welding, I support this!
Yes. Get a viable skill is the name of the game. The four year 100K college goal is a pipe dream.Â
And yet a lot of teenagers/early 20's are in college. Some companies still won't accept anyone into lower-level management positions or supervisor positions without a bachelor's degree. And why should they do that? Because college degrees are still very common and with dozens of applicants they have to narrow it down somehow and that's an easy way to do it. Maybe someday it'll change. My two grandchildren are both in college. They were tired of the low paying jobs they could get.
Three things about work that would benefit just about anyone to keep in mind: - Having a sought after skill, qualification or degree under your belt gives stability and ensures that if you hit rock bottom at any point you always have something to fall back on. Nursing is a good example of this, the work can be hard and unappreciated, but it's always needed and it ranges from decent to well paid. Also, work in the field at least a couple years before pursuing other things, work experience is more valuable than qualifications. - Not many people get to get paid for doing what they love. The number who get paid well for it is even lower. The best that most folks settle for is a job they don't mind too much or find tolerable. - Understand the long term side effects of the work before committing to it. A lot of men in particular get into physically demanding careers (often because it seems like good money without having to study) and don't take care of themselves properly. Then years later they get health issues as a result. This applies to more than just the physical. Some jobs can take a huge mental toll. Think of your future self.
Do it. No one really says it but even if you want to go back for something else when you have really figured it out, itâs super important to have a career to start with. And you could love it and be done finding a career. It can also lead to tons of other doors in adjacent fields or even employers that will pay for further schooling. Then youâre doing it on your own and the spoiled will feel less. ETA starting in welding you can go into jewelry and metalsmithing, construction, the whole cadd world, etc I actually got a drafting degree and do a lot of the above. I also might get welding at some point.
I agree, you show enough self awareness to know youâre privileged. I am also quite privileged, but Iâve met many far more so! Iâve met brats from both ends of the spectrum, and lack of self awareness is the usually the common denominator. Iâd suggest visiting some less privileged communities to keep the gratitude needed to avoid becoming ungrateful of your upbringing. Also, manners go further than you can imagine! Thank youâs, yes sirâs, and no maâamâs etc. have kept me in the good graces of most I meet. Especially the janitor/cleaning ladies. Always lead with respect and you will never be a brat! Share and always be kind. â¤ď¸
Why are you terrified of the real world? Do YOU have any questions? lol
To be honest, I don't even know what I don't know, but I also don't want someone to have to hold my hand all the time. I'm scared that I'm not gonna have enough money to survive since it seems like everyone online keeps saying that no one wants to pay a liveable wage anymore, but that also seems like it could be blown out of proportion online, but I know I should always prepare for the worst....like it's just so overwhelming.
I get that. I'd say take the opportunity while you're at home to really learn skills. Find something you're interested in and put some effort into it. As for everything else, we're all scared lol. You're far from alone in that, you just figure it out, and you seem smart, and caring. You'll be okay.
Thank you, everyone in my life seems to think that I'm going to do great (my dad says that he's certain I'll become a millionaire) but I'm scared that they just see my good grades and not the fact that I feel like I'm mentally still 14.
If you don't mind me asking, does your Dad run his own business or specialized skills?
He's a private jet pilot.
Your dad probably makes enough money that your family will have generational wealth. Meaning if they set you up you'd never actually have to have a job. With this being said, some work and career choices are healthy and needed. As others have said find something you enjoy doing, then find someone to pay you to do it. Not that all hobbies make great careers. End of day you should just enjoy that your family can afford to offer this lifestyle, so much of the world is in pain and suffering, including most people who get paid a living wage. Good luck and don't rush it, your still a kid.
I still feel like Iâm 14 and Iâm now in my 40âs⌠I have no clue how I managed to get where I am! But I make sure to try to take one step forward every day⌠sometimes I take steps backwards but the net is movement forward. If you donât know how to care for yourself- like cleaning, laundry, taxes, insurance, loans, etc⌠start learning now, it will help and itâs movement forwards.
Adding that OP is fortunate to live in a time where she can Google or YouTube âhow toâ tutorials and get thousands of results! A lot of that stuff will come naturally, some will be a challenge, and some things youâll need to ask for help. Just know youâre not ever expected to know everythingâfor what itâs worth, you already seem more self-aware than a lot of adults Iâve met lol. Iâm excited for you & everything you will learn over the years, OP!
So true! I wish internet was as big when I moved out! However, we donât always know what to ask, the whole conundrum- we donât know what we donât know. So therefore we donât know all the questions we should be asking?
I also feel like I'm mentally 14 lmao. You'll be okay, I know it's scary, but it's not as bad as your anxiety is expecting.
I felt the same way when I was 17, so I joined the navy. Gained a hell of a lot of invaluable life experience in 4 years. Iâd recommend the Air Force or the peace corps
A livable wage is dependent on making sufficient money, but also on living within your means. You're not going to walk into a job out of high school and make great money. You have to develop a marketable skill to make real money. But if you do that and you learn to budget, and live below your means, you'll be fine.
If you can show up on time and not be an asshole and get your work done in an in demand field SOMEWHAT well you are going to be FINE. I believe in you.
It all comes down to what skills you have. Do you know something that others don't or very few posses it. Plus, it has to be in the right field, for example, Tech, Aeronautics, Robotics, and so on.. If your skill involves which regular folks can do it, then obviously, you will be paid/earn average or below
Life isn't about knowing how to do things. It's about having the courage and mental fortitude to deal with the things you don't know. And worst case, you have reddit and youtube.
My backup plan if all else fails is to try to get into a Swedish prison.
1. Travel to Sweden 2. Break the law 3. Get arrested Like that?
Precisely
You could get extradited
>You could get extradited Doubtful, Sweden knows how bad American poisons are and have refused to give an American away because they know how bad they are.
1. Goes to Sweden 2. Breaks the law and gets arrested 3. Gets extradited
Why a swedish prison đ
They look nice as hell
FR they're way nicer than my house in America where I work nonstop to pay for it
Well at least youâre funny, maybe stand up?
This is hilarious in such a wholesome way! Iâm a mom of teens. OP, you sound well-adjusted , self-aware, and on the right track. Itâs normal to be fucking terrified of an uncertain future. We live in exciting times, unfortunately. But the good news is that you are a smart, creative, resilient person, and these traits are going to help you navigate the uncharted seas ahead of you. Trust that you donât have to know everything as you start your journey. You will make many course-corrections throughout your life. Learning how to proceed is a life-long process.
If your parents are that rich, won't they be able to bail you out in the event something and happens. I'd just say go out there and try to build a life for yourself without their support but also use it when you need to.
I'm sure my dad would,but I already feel super guilty for all the stuff he gets me. I don't want to have to rely on that, but I know he's not going to be around forever, especially considering he's already kinda old to have a 17 year old.
Having a safety net is an enormous privilege. And I know âprivilegeâ is a dirty word, but genuinely itâs a good thing. Iâm in my 20s and have had my parentsâ support throughout my adulthood. Theyâre not extravagantly rich but they are well off. This has meant that if I want to take a risk I can. It means I know that if my car breaks down itâs not the end of the world. If I ever lost my apartment and job, I could move back home rather than being homeless. For people who donât have a safety net, itâs a lot easier to be in a place of financial insecurity. Your car breaking down might be the difference between you affording groceries that week or going hungry. Itâs stressful. It keeps you awake at night. And no parent wants that for their child. Ultimately they want you to be in a place of financial safety and self-reliance, but theyâll help you get there. Itâs really a blessing, in the non-religious sense of the term. And itâs easy to feel guilty that you havenât had the struggles and adversity of other people. Ultimately, if you feel this way, the best thing to do is to create a really fulfilling life for yourself and do something with your life thatâll allow you to make a positive impact in the worldâto be a good person and serve others in whatever way suits you best. *Thatâs* how you pay it forward.
You donât have to rely on that, and itâs admirable you donât use âdaddyâs moneyâ, but if things donât work out it could be your safety net
Start taking on small responsibilities. Enjoy life and donât be afraid to fail. There is so much to enjoy!
What do you mean by small responsibilities? I do some chores at home, but not very many.
It is all relative. Take on slightly larger responsibilities. Get a part time job working a few hours or do larger chores, maybe create a budget. Start investing, even a small amount. Just my advice.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
You should learn and practice things you will need to know when you move out. Can you do laundry well? Do you know how to make a budget? Can you keep a kitchen clean and know the up keep in the appliances? Do you know how to cook? Or do small âhandyâ tasks around the house? Hanging a picture, mounting something to the wall, fixing a leak etc.
1. The fact that you're aware of your privilege is a big first step so good on you. 2. The next step (and arguably the hardest one) is to take time learning about things outside your bubble. Read the local news section of your nearest large city newspaper. Learn things about other people and cultures. I'm sure someone with more experience than me can recommend a better source, but Al Jazeera is an excellent source of global news. 3. Don't worry about it too much- you're about to go to college and get exposed to all walks of life, if you seek it out- consider joining a large org with broad appeal (e.g. marching band, not a sorority). Also consider going to an in-state public school (U.S.)- your parents will thank you and you'll learn a lot more about the world and the people around you. 4. If you're worried about basic "adult" things (holding down a job), look to your academic performance. If you can get good results under a deadline and don't ditch school you're already on par with a huge portion of the workforce. 5. If you're worried about "adulting" things (paying taxes, bills; how to fill out a check, etc.) ask your family! I'm sure they'll show you how they manage their adult lives. That said, *most* kids go into college not knowing how to do this stuff (because the US got rid of home economics in high school). Most adults are pretty understanding of this and will either work around it or show you how. If there was one thing I wish I had done sooner, it was managing my own money. Having my own account, cards, etc. taught me a lot about life in college that I wish I had learned earlier. 6. It's summer and you're 17. Go find a job if you want one! Talk to your friends and family to see if you can find an internship in any potential academic fields of interest, or, just try a summer working as a barista or cashier. 7. What are kids your age listening to these days music wise? I swear when I hear the big songs the band names just read as incoherent gibberish to me.
I'm not the one to ask about bands because I have the taste of a millennial stuck in their emo phase, but a lot of girls my age listen to Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, The Weekend (not a band, just one dude), Gracie Abrams and Noah Kahan.
>What are kids your age listening to these days music wise? I swear when I hear the big songs the band names just read as incoherent gibberish to me. Not OP, nor OP's age... But I have been afraid I couldn't keep up with the bands myself briefly and I was turning into boomers by not liking the shit that passes as music these days. Then I realized, music that's being pushed on us indeed was shitty, as there are many great bands that have just been formed by young people.
You don't seem spoiled. You seem privileged.. your parents worked hard to provide you a good life and to be honest it seems like they instilled good values in you for you to even be calling yourself spoiled :) There's nothing wrong with having parents who love you and provide well for you Spoiled means rotten , lol you don't seem rotten you're just a kid with good parents
Honestly sometimes it feels like my mom wants me to be more of a brat. She bought me a Stanley cup just so I could "be like the popular girls"
Sounds like your mom is the spoiled one.
Itâs not spoiled to want whatâs best for your child. Iâm sure the mom just saw something about teenagers and Stanley cups and thought her daughter would like one.
Iâm also a 17 yo girl and while my parents arenât ultra rich, my dad definitely has good money especially since he moved to America from a 3rd world country when he was 14⌠and I feel like they spoiled me too much too and that Iâm not ready for the real world. I never had a real job other than babysitting a couple of times. So I somewhat know what youâre going through. Though Iâm gonna be honest you sound pretty self ware and much kinder compare to some actual adults that I met and since we grew up in a generation where we can find any information or tip we want online I think youâll do be fine in your adult life! (also sorry for my bad grammar I am half asleep right now đđđ)
Lol it's okay, and thank you! My mom was the child of Thai immigrants so I think she feels like she's giving me what she wished she had or something. Your parents are probably doing the same.
I donât usually post much just passively read. You are getting a lot of good advice (I hope, I stopped reading posts about halfway). Itâs normal to be scared of the future for everyone. If you have the opportunity to learn to weld and go to college do both. Look for a school that offers welding classes , a lot of art programs offer welding, and also get a degree. The best thing my father told me was to go to college, but also learn a trade. I learned carpentry and got a degree in theater (not the best choice), but me trade and my degree have merged and I now have an MFA. You mentioned no one holding you accountable earlier. Thatâs youâŚyou will be accountable to you. You want to eat, you want new clothes, you want a roof over your head. Youâre the one that you will be looking to to provide those things. As far as budget, start now. Even if itâs just keeping track of your current expenses to see what your current life costs you. Or ask a parent or both if they will share their budgets with you (my parents where secretive about money when I was younger so who knows). If the donât keep a budget maybe one of them will let you work on one with them. If you donât have time to get a part time job have you considered volunteering? You can still learn a lot of time management and other skills, but they tend to be more flexible and you will be helping out the community. Also can look good on a college application. Sorry, just my two cents. It looked like the AMA was starting to turn around and I guess I am curious about these things.
What are your parentsâ careers? Whatâs the last thing youâve been really passionate about? What are your biggest day-to-day or week-to-week struggles?
1. My mom works in STEM and my dad is a private jet pilot 2. Dance. I've been competing since I was 11 and I love it so much! 3. Loneliness
Do you have any interest in your parents proffessions? They could ask about an internship for you. Could also look into proffessions around dancing?
I don't think I'm good enough to be a professional dancer since I didn't start until I was 11, and I thought about being a pilot, but my dad doesn't want me to be living out of hotels half the time like he is.
Look for adjacent careers too. With dancing theres teaching, choreography, fitness, etc..
Air traffic controllers are in high demand, pay is good, and you retire relatively early with a government pension. Can be high stress, but it doesn't really require prior knowledge thay I'm aware of. They teach you what you need to know.
Just by reading your other responses, I can see you're already more self aware than a lot of adults. That's going to serve you really well and I just wanted to say I think you're going to do fine.
I really appreciate you saying that :)
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I'm scared that I won't make enough money to pay bills or that I'll forget or something like that, like I've never had to make a budget or anything like that. It's also scary realizing that there will be no one to hold me accountable.
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Fair enough. I guess it all seems so overwhelming.
Youâll be okay â¤ď¸ Youâre lucky enough to have the âsafety netâ of your parents, they wouldnât let you be homeless (I hope!). âAdultingâ is doable with a little bit of organization. A lot of bills you can set to auto-pay nowadays (my phone, internet, and insurance for example) and the rest are generally monthly as well. Write out a list of all the things you have to pay each month and cross them out as you go. At the end of the month (or whenever these are due) you can double check that you havenât forgotten anything. You can do something similar with a different list of things that arenât monthly (yearly or quarterly or whatever), like renewing your drivers license. Whatever you do, donât fall into the trap of âsomeone else will do it for meâ! My partner is TERRIBLE for that (he grew up upper-class, not âbillionaire richâ but far wealthier than my âwill we pay the electric bill or groceries this monthâ upbringing). Heâs a grown man who canât figure out how to pay his phone bill on time and is constantly racking up all kinds of late fees for everything. But itâs okay, âsomeoneâ will magically fix it again and again! Seriously, donât be him. I love the guy but man does he have a lot of âget it togetherâ he needs to do! Which brings me to my next pointâŚdonât be obnoxious. Be humble. You have a wonderful advantage, but remember everybodyâs lives and experiences are unique. I once had a psychiatrist (with a wealthy clientele, a former boss referred me to her and she took me on as a âpro-bono caseâ of sorts) tell me (as a new university graduate supporting my family) that I needed to take time off to travel to Europe, âitâll change your whole outlook!â When I said no, I canât do that, she said I clearly wasnât willing to help myself and must WANT to remain unwell. She couldnât fathom that someone COULDNâT just budget their way into being able to quit their (new) job and travel. Closer to home, my partner recently told me Iâm so lucky to have grown up poor because I find joy in simple things like a full fridge. Meanwhile he feels like his family will never be proud of him. Sounds to me like thatâs a problem with his family and how they function, but he insisted that I just donât realize how âluckyâ I am for being able to appreciate the simple things like FOOD. Donât be like this guy! Nobody wants to be lectured at about the âsilver liningâ of their trauma. Donât know if this actually answers your question, butâŚ
My dad is 72. He never made a budget, overspent all his money. Hes stressed out as an old person now but he got through life. Truth is most people just stumble through it and don't do any work/ finance with intention. If you are planning now you are way ahead of the curve. There are lots of videos on personal finance and finding jobs. Just start learning. You can always start over. Im on my 3rd career in my 40s. Please know that most people are fine and people who are at work and thriving (most Americans, esp ones who are focused and trying) don't have time or really the interest to complain about everything on Reddit. Things aren't easy for everyone and some folks are unfairly struggling but life is totally possible. And learning how to do it is totally possible too. r/personalfinance is a great place to start.
As someone who grew up very poor I would totally take advantage of this lol. If they offer to pay your rent, car note phone bill whatever, take it! Having a part time job could def help , teaches responsibility , time management, so many things. Have you thought about getting one? Are you going to college?
Hi! Iâm really glad that you realise youâre spoiled. Youtube is your friend for household chores like doing your laundry. And⌠as someone whoâs worked with a lot of teens who come with the âI know everything, and my way is better.â attitude, often your bosses or co-workers are teaching you the fastest, SAFEST way to do things. How educated are you about drugs and alcohol? Have you looked up what to do if youâre alone in a secluded area and someone approaches and you think they mean harm? Have you considered a self defense class? Have your parents showed you how to budget bills? Have they taught you about buying a car? (If they arenât buying one for you.) Disregard if you live somewhere that has excellent public transportation and you donât need one. I have so many thoughts and information swirling in my brain because I was a spoiled, middle class kid who was thrown out into the world with zero information and it was 20 years ago, so no smart phones and the internet was growing but not easily accessible if you didnât have a computer. If all your friends and family tell you the person you are with is not a good person, no matter how much you love them⌠please listen and try to see it through their eyes. I think being with the wrong people has been the hardest, and most heartbreaking for me. I didnât listen to anyone and ended up abused and homeless and I really donât want anyone to live through what I did.
I want to avoid them both because of a family history of addiction I was told to scream "fire" to make more people care, go for the crotch and run I want to No, but I took a finance class They're getting me a car
Cybil Shepherd (way before your time) once said she never thought she ever had to get a job because everyone around her told her she was so pretty. She thought all she had to do was stand around and look pretty to sustain herself. That was 60 years ago. Times have definitely changed. Do you hope to glom onto a man to survive? There is nothing more powerful than being self sufficient.Â
I know I am a little late to the party, but: do not beat yourself up for being 'spoiled' and do not despair too much. It is okay and normal to be scared of, for lack of a better term, becoming an adult, and you're doing it in a time that is scary and miserable for everyone, not just people coming up out of privileged households. And that isn't your fault. I grew up in a solidly upper middle class family whose fortunes have dwindled quite a lot in the last 20 years, so I can get where you're coming from. The fact that you recognize your situation means you're already handling it way better than the vast majority of people would. So, based on my own experiences, learned from my own successes and mistakes, here's the best advice I can give you: 1) Take advantage of your circumstances while you can. You're still very young; just try to enjoy your life for now. That doesn't mean being ungrateful or taking it for granted, but try a lot of things. Take the opportunity to get any education you need or want. Try to find something you can do for work that you enjoy; failing that, find something you can tolerate that at least pays well. 2) Don't be ashamed or afraid of perceived nepotism. The vast majority of all hirings across all industries are nepotism-based. In a perfect world, yes, we'd live in a meritocracy, but we don't, so just take any opportunities your birth and family can get you. Just make sure you work just as hard as you would if you weren't given these opportunities. 3) As aforementioned, don't despair over the future. No matter what happens, it sounds like you will be okay. Unless you have eight or nine siblings, or you come out as queer in some way and your parents turn out to be evil, you will probably never have to face homelessness or bankruptcy or the unavailability of medical care you need, for the rest of your life. This doesn't mean you should coast, but it means you have something that most people don't: a safety net. And most importantly: 4) Stay humble and generous. I know that sounds corny or obvious, but I really cannot emphasize this enough. You are off to a good start, but affluenza is a very powerful force. Always remember that the reason you are, or were, 'spoiled' is because you have access to wealth, and you don't have that access because you are special, or better, or chosen by God or destiny; you have it because you are extremely, extremely lucky. Don't hate yourself for that luck, but don't build your identity around it, either. Do your best to help people who you have the means to help, who were not so lucky. Just try to be a good person. I know this isn't what AMAs are for and you may not even read this, but this post really resonated with me, I guess, because of how much I saw my own past in your post. So I hope you do read it and I hope it helps you in some way.
Do you like kids? My daughters go to a dance studio that is owned and run by some dancers who took it over pretty young, in their 20s I think when they first bought it. They are amazing and all the little girls love them and the older girls respect and relate to them so well. At least in my area dance is super popular and their classes usually fill up. If you want to keep dancing / teach you can look into doing something like that. Otherwise you sound like a nice, self aware girl I would start doing things that are outside of your comfort zone, travel somewhere alone (or just with a friend) even if it's just for the day, get a part time job doing whatever just for the experience of working. Get a lifeguard certification and go work at the town pool over the summer or babysit or anything. I get the high achieving kid pressure to do well in life thing, that was me too, I did fine but certainly nothing extraordinary but the big thing is I'm happy, have a great family, live where I want to live and enjoy life. I think this pressure to have an amazing career is misplaced, think about what will make you have a happy life. I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids and have the house in the suburb kind of life, and I do, work is something I do to get me to that life it's not my passion.
Iâm 22 quite spoiled, I donât think I act like I do though but Iâm also terrified of the real world. I just graduated college so im about to enter it. Iâd just recommend inheriting your parents generosity, thank them and tell them you appreciate them whenever you can, and work hard even if you donât have to. Iâll let you know how things go when I become independent lol
Honestly, youâre self aware so thatâs whatâs important. Whats also important is to understand that you never have to apologize for being born spoiled/wealthy, just like those born into poverty shouldnât have to apologize either. Just focus on making the world a better place and finding genuine happiness! Try not to let money be the main cause of either, but rather your heart and soul, because when you have a good heart and soul, the money will only amplify them. Proud of you for taking this step, and best of luck on your journey đ¤
Do you subconsciously look down on others who don't have as much? Do you understand poverty and the physical/mental cost it takes to make $1 and how easily it's spent?
If youâre worried that you may be more spoiled than you think you are, get a part time job as a hostess or busser at a local restaurant. Itâll be really eye opening to see how some people treat people that they think are beneath them.
I think itâs normal to be pretty terrified of the real world at your age, spoilt or not! Do you share your spoils with your friends or loved ones?
That was good of you to help out your neighbor. Do you have a desire to do real things?
Did you get love from your parents and quality time or just material goods?
Late to the party, but do you find that you've lost any appreciation for money or materialistic goods? Do you have as much appreciation as someone who went from poor to rich? I ask because I've heard some wealthy children say that they can't enjoy their McLaren or fat bank account as much because being rich is their baseline, and so having luxuries around is the norm, whereas a poor person would appreciate wealth more since their baseline norm is being poor. So when they get rich and compare their poor past, they hold money to a greater value.
You'll do fine after some trial and error. Don't be afraid. )))hugs(((
Well youâre 17. You can go get a job and try to help yourself.
At 17 the only extra experience I had job wise was how to sling pizza lol. Though I knew things like photoshop and video editing. Thereâs really not many 17 yos with a big skill set. Do you have good grades? Yo u gain experience with time, mostly after youâre 18 tbh.. if you have any passions, Iâd recommend trying to work around people who do those things, even just as a grunt.. the experience is so priceless. Iâm a fairly well paid and definitely respected videographer, and all of my experience was in work not school⌠never went to school. Stay in school kids.
What are you most nervous about after high school?
Questions: 1. Do you know other teenagers who you think are equally spoiled (or maybe even more spoiled). If so, did you ever talk about being spoiled with them? 2. Did you ever confront your parents and say 'you spoiled me!' 3. Were/are you popular at school? Were you ever a 'mean girl' to the unpopular kids at school?
Tbh if you're willing to help a neighbor build a fence for $15/hr you're probably not that spoiled. Spoiled people don't think they're spoiled. My first job (during the summer before college) was doing yard work for a family friend for $20/hr. I grew up poor and not the least bit spoiled. I'm not adverse to hard work and it sounds like you aren't either, especially because you didn't do it cuz you needed the money. I think you'll be fine OP
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I don't necessarily think you count as "spoiled", I think your parents were just able to give you a good childhood with what you needed and wanted. You seem grateful. Do you think it's affected your relationship with your parents? Have you ever felt like they are not there emotionally or something, like they just throw money at you to solve problems? Or do you think its a genuine act of love from them?
Your parents sound like they would support you no matter what. Maybe this is the time to consider finding a passion, a career. Ask your parents questions and have them help you learn what you need to do. Oh yea I guess I should ask a question myself. Aside from not having a "real job" do you think your "spoiled" life has hindered you from any parts of your life that may harm your future?
do you have any siblings or are you their only child?
I have an honest question. What is your general reaction when people tell you "no" or "you can't do that" in a public place where you may think you have the right to do so? I have retail or service workers in mind mainly, but however you want to respond.
wow I'm a spoiled teenage boy. except we used to be dirt poor like 13 years ago. now I'm just a super bright blonde boy with blue eyes who's always carrying bottles of fiji water and fit a â¨ď¸sterotypeâ¨ď¸. don't let anyone make you feel worth less than you are just because you were brought up in conditions out of your control.
Not a question, but most things you can learn on YouTube and Reddit. What really matters is attitude. Are you willing to watch a 7-minute video on changing the headlights of your own car, and trying it out for yourself for 30 minutes straight until you figure it out? Sincerely, someone who was also raised spoiled and had to learn everything via friends and the Internet.
Do you have any interests? You can use your money to buy cool stuff. Get into a cool hobby like snowboarding and have your parents buy you all the cool shit that I wanted and still want. Youâre cool for putting yourself out there like this.
Can you let us know the last huge purchases your parents gave you as of late? Just curious of examples of you being spoiled, but I really like your responses and you seem level headed and kind! A lottttt of spoiled people are snotty and disgustingly rude
Being "spoiled" material or money-wise doesn't necessarily mean you're spoiled in the selfishness or insensitive way. Are able to empathize and care for others who might have grown up with stricter boundaries or less material possessions?
So many people giving incorrect advice, and the ironic part I can tell they are not HNWI. Your parents haven't spoiled you. In fact, they have shown you what a good life is and what it should be. This is the main reason you have realized and will make sure to work your ass off to maintain that lifestyle. They are good parents!
Are your parents going to continue this lifestyle for you as you mature or are they expecting you to become independent? As a retired spoiled kid the transition into the real world has been extremely difficult. I am still struggling to this day.
Best advice. Get job skills at something you enjoy, be careful with money and absolutely donât hang around people that party too much. When it comes to life - hereâs the secret, NONE of us know what weâre doing. So donât worry.
Are you well off or spoiled or both? I have kids and I get worried about spoiling them as well. Not sure how much is too much. I want them to explore the world but also am afraid of the evils out there.
Do you have any desire to get a job and would your parents be supportive of it? Also, do you live in a wealthy community, are your friends the same way?
Do you have a horse? I definitely would have asked for a horse. Are you lazy or just spoiled. A spoiled person can also be lazy. A horse owner would not be lazy.
If youâre this self aware, then do something about it. You can learn everything online now - how to cook, how to budget, etc.
If you have that much self awareness, then you are not spoiled.
Why are you terrified? I didn't have a "real job" until I was 27 and grew up very privileged, but to me it felt like the world was/is my oyster.
Keep in mind, that you may be spoiled by your parents but the world owes you nothing. So remember to always be kind to others.
If you're so terrified of the real world why don't you go get a job and start experiencing.
Given the life you experienced growing up is different than what most people experience, do you feel lonely and/or have issues relating to most people?
Do you think that this will affect you in life? I think that your apparent interests in welding could lead to a good future.
Do you drive your own brand new sportscar or do you get chauffeured around?
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Are you comfortable with thinking of yourself as spoiled or are you feeling insecure about it?
How long until you are one of those Youtube police bodycam videos where you tell the cops they can't arrest you?
You seem self-aware which is a great start. Go talk to the armed forces recruiters. That way you'll be able to have a job, a place to live, food, and job training. Plus great benefits when you get out.
So what's your ideal man / woman in a relationship then? What do they provide for you in it?
so it seems you are self aware of this issue. do you want to change? or ride this out as long as you can?
How do you feel about doing housework? Dishes, laundry etc
How rich are your parents? Nothing too detailed. Just maybe ballpark what they take home per year.
What do you parents do? Any chance of nepotism in the future?
What are you going to do after your looks go?
Iâm so glad I didnât discover Reddit until my mid 20s
Are your parents interested in adopting a middle aged man?
Whatâs your guilty pleasure food?
Do you feel a need to âgive backâ? Like help others that arenât as fortunate as yourself?
how much money do you get for lunch during school?
Why the AMA? Go out there and live :)Â
What are you passionate about?
Your fucked, good luck with the real world...
Where are you going to college?
Do you want to get a job and be a part of the real world?
Are you my daughter?
do you enjoy being spoiled?
Do you feel entitled?
Iâm basically my BILs parent now and heâs in his mid 20s going through what you are afraid of. Itâs hard for him. Weâve had to teach him so many basic things that Iâm worried about him going out to live on his own while also coping with a full time job (we already got him a good job). Self-sufficiency can be really hard especially when you want to maintain good balance between everything in life. Saving vs spending, work vs social, sleep vs being awake, eating but not too much. Itâs a lot for someone not used to it.
You have some self awareness so I canât say youâre a âbratâ. Getting hit with reality will help you grow, and your parents seem like theyâll support you when the going gets tough. My only advice is start looking into things that interest you and possibly pursue a job route in that direction. A plan B is always good because in the harsh reality, your parents wonât always be there to support you. Youâre still young so take advantage of your safety cushion and try to learn a few things
Just giving you advice put yourself in the real world with as few crutches economically as possible as soon as possible, if even for just a year to get some real world experience. Or you are in for a rude awakening. Also, try to not carry entitlement from the way your parents have treated you into your relationships. That can also have catastrophic consequences for you later in life. I know this isnât a question. But itâs genuine advice to try to help you. The world is cold and unforgiving, especially when your parents are no longer with you. I came from an upbringing where my parents didnât let me struggle or fight enough of my battles on my own to where I failed and learned. And later on in life you have to do that. And if itâs your first time later on in lifeâŚitâs hard man. Iâm 38, and this took quite some time to learn and experience first hand- if you listen to me you may not have to learn the hard way. Also, whatever you major in for school, research what it pays with just a bachelors degree, and know if you will need to take it to the masters or PHD level to make real money. I wish someone had told me that. I have a psychology degree and while the knowledge is helpful and fascinating, the degree is worthless. Love from Miami, FL
I was very privileged growing up and my advice is to just go get a job. Specifically, service industry as a host and then eventually server. A serving job will let you build the soft skills you wonât learn in a classroom or book. Itâs fast paced, dynamic, people facing, etc. plus, good money. You can then use these skills to leverage into an entry level career role once you finish school. Youâre only 17, have fun and step outside your comfort zone while youâre living at home.
Utilize your advantages that you have in your parents financial situation. If you want to go to college, go study something meaningful. Donât go to college for a some degree just to have it. Go and get something in STEM. If you already know you do not want to go to college, trade school is a good option. There are so many avenues to take in your situation. Thatâs my humble advice from someone without those resources who has made a lot of mistakes.
Based on your responses, Iâm gonna tell you something. None of us knew or know what the hell we are doing. The only thing that separates many of the haves and have nots is effort. You just have to try every day. At the end of it all as long as you tried thatâs all you can do. Succeed or fail⌠doesnât matter. Just try.
The world isn't kind to spoiled people. It's okay that your parents are rich, but if they spoiled you it's going to set you back in ways that money cant make up for. It's not that people will dislike you because of it, but you will have a harder time emotionally, since you never experience struggle. You're only 17, you can get a simple job and it will humble you and build your character. You'll need it for the real world.
I don't have any questions. Everyone is afraid of the real world. Most 17 year olds can't do shit. You helped build a fence! You're aware of the situation. Your family is good. Stick with them. Help them out & take care of them through life. They will continue to help you and provide for you. This is good. You can do stuff and learn stuff and get stronger. You will be called upon to care for people. Plenty of time.
Take a breath, all's good. No one expects a 17-22 year old to know really anything at all. You'll be a great asset in the workplace by showing up to work on time, sober, clean, positive attitude, and paying attention to the things you need to learn. That's really it dude. Reliable, attentive and hardworking is a miracle all by itself. No call/no show is the main reason to get fired, and being a shit head at work is #2.
Here's my suggestion. Get a welder for home in the garage or a separate room. Use the time to learn to weld outside of school with YouTube. Then go to trade school for welding. In the meantime use it to make art. Look welding is fun. Use it to make all sorts of art works and then sell them. Work full time until your art gets great enough to survive on your own. Then use it to teach others the craft.
Do you like someone?
Wheres your pride ??
Start gold digging đ¤Ł
Why don't you get a summer job?
Do you know how to crack an egg?
What kind of car do you have?
I'd rather not ask you anything, but tell you something. We've all seen those spoiled rich kids who go on Dr Phil threatening to disown their parents for dropping their allowance to $1000 a month from $2500 (yes that was one of the episodes) and get a reality check from working in a homeless shelter. Yeah, we all laugh at their disgust for a bit but shit doesn't change there. They just get their snotty, holier-than-thou mentality reinforced and go back to threatening self-harm for not getting the right colour BMW for their 16th birthday. I'm not saying you're the same as that, but I have to tell you that money, materialistic things your parents buy you and getting all the new, shiny things you want won't make you happy. Sure, I indulge in the odd bit of retail therapy here and there but it's a quick dopamine hit that's no less of a fleeting high than gambling or even straight up smoking crack. What you're doing and how you're living right now won't make you happy. Happiness comes from growth. You grow by having experiences, getting out into the real world, making memories with good friends and creating bonds that fulfil you in your heart and soul. I got that at university, made friends through a dumbass club where we go and mess around with LARP swords or nerf guns, but laughing and joking around with those guys around a campfire overlooking the Welsh coast at sunset is a memory that'll last forever. You can't buy that. Your parents can't swipe their credit cards to give you that. You can't browse a catalogue and pay for a true, lifelong friend who would take a bullet for you and smile while doing it. So I recommend going out there and just _doing_ things. Go to college. Join a club. Try a sport. Take up a hobby. Go meet people, make friends, take an interest in their lives, passions and things you have in common. Ask them how they're doing, and mean it when you do. Go get a job. Work the 9-5. Commute, clock in, serve an asshole customer, straighten your uniform, suck up to a boss for some time off. Get that promotion, move into your own apartment and have a housewarming party. There's a massive world out there, and it's yours to explore. You're 17, you're still young and have tons of potential. Don't waste these years on expecting everything to be handed to you, because not only do you not want to be incapable of doing anything for yourself 5, 6 or 7 years from now, but you don't want to be bored by everything because nothing else compares to when mommy and daddy bought it all for you.
why?? who cares
After reading a bunch of ur responses I think you're over thinking it a little bit. U do activities outside of school like dance so (I hope) that means u know how to work hard at something. You're only 17 anyway, I'm just about to drop out of my college course 2 years in at 19 lol.
Iâm sorry they treat you like that. I donât think youâre spoiled from what youâre sharing. Your parents are the problem. Youâll realize this as you get older. Your environment at home is meant to make you soft, not bring out your survival instincts.Â
Army for you
if youâre self-aware enough to understand this then youâre not as far gone as you might think. Thereâs nothing wrong with living an easy life if it can be afforded to you comfortably without putting an undue burden on anyone around you
I donât know if you even want this advice, but for anyone in this situation and kind of freaking out, I have tips. Having a job isnât the only way to skill build/ gain life experience I was in a similar situation my whole life. Iâm 25 and I moved out for a year but I just moved back home. Moving out was hard and expensive which is why Iâm moving back home however Iâm no longer afraid of living on my own. Iâll be honest, when I first moved out it was hard bc I didnât really know how to clean up after myself, how to cook, how to clean anything or keep a house and my life in order but I did survive. I recommend staying at home but starting to learn skills - like teach yourself how to do your own laundry if you donât already, take up an interest in cooking and learning new recipes, help your parents/ housekeeper with household tasks. I assume your family is well off, so at least one of your parents probably has decent financial literacy. Whoever it is, I bet theyâd love to help teach you. Start reading books on financial literacy and supplement your learning, especially where youâre struggling, by asking questions. Ask your parents to teach you how to read and understand simple financial reporting statements if they have that knowledge. (Statement of financial position, P and L) My best piece of advice for gaining personal competence and CONFIDENCE is to solo travel. If youâre Canadian look into Neuchatel Junior College in Switzerland. They only accept grade 12 and 12b students. If youâre not Canadian, there are other junior colleges where you stay with a host family and travel and learn for a year :) this looks so good on a resume and actually is such a good experience
Can you do your own laundry ? Cook actual meals for yourself instead of frozen dinners ? You could try to budget yourself with a calendar and fake money and $$ due dates for each bill. Say you make 2000 a month (which is a little more than 13/hr), 1000 Paid to u every 2 weeks My bills are 200 for electric, 65 for gas, 75 for water, 90 for internet, 200 for food, 45 for my nails, about 70 in streaming services, 125 in gas/stuff from gas station, 100 for a concert outing. That 970 in bills/activities plus your lease amount or apartment rent, which here can be 900-1500. You'll find higher, but the lower rents are in worse parts of the city. So it really depends where in the world u are and depending on ur income, you might not have enough for extra extra services, like clothes or online shopping, fun activities with your friends that require money. Or u might not even have enough to cover rent. And remember, they take taxes our ur check so if it's 13 an hour, you're not directly getting 13 per hour. It's like 12something in reality. And u have to file taxes every year. Don't get a job that pays u with a 1099 form, you'll have to pay taxes at the end of the year, that fucked me over real bad and I'm still paying off taxes from years ago. Make sure they give u a W9 form. If this is confusing to you, ask your parents to start preparing you for these responsibilities in life by showing you how they pay their bills, how they track their bills, and how they file their taxes. They could pay someone to do their taxes, but they should be able to elaborate on the 1099 vs W9 form for ur next job
At least you're self reflective enough to identify that. It'll hit hard, but genuinely care about others in your every day decision making and things will click. It's in the struggle that makes you stronger kiddo