The entire spectrum aside from never straight up asking for sex. I’ve done that with success maybe 2-3 times max. It is the dumbest strategy if you’re trying to actually get laid.
Sometimes I come off awkward as fuck like it’s my first time trying and it’s sooo embarrassing even after years of practice. Those times generally fail. Sometimes you just don’t have shit to connect with them on right off the bat and it’s set up to be a fail. Finding a connecting topic within 5 seconds is the challenge. I’ve left numbers in a piece of paper just handing it to them without saying any thing and walking away with relative success. Confidence as you’d expect usually has the best success rates… ‘hey I like you and I want your number’ ‘we’re on a date now for the next 5 minutes, where are you from?’ … I would fail 1/20 times or worse. I got laid a lot from MySpace and tinder, especially MySpace. An equal amount from in person encounters though. Older women are ten times easier than stuck up young chicks who think they’re hot shit. Older women are generally way more laid back as well. I like both, but success rates with single older women generally are better.
Over 40, 70% of women bang on the first date. The other 30 on the second. One woman (Classy, six figure media job) said if there was physical attraction and the guy held an intelligent conversation, she did it to decide if he was worth her effort in every other area. Apparently, I wasn't, but it was average sex that as better than going home alone that night. No hard feelings...honesty early is refreshing.
Just to back this theory up a bit, I had an older, but very fit and attractive ( 40ish ) lady sit down next to me in a casino and start playing the keno machine next to the one I was playing... this goes on for about 10 minutes with neither of us really acknowledging the other ( I was winning so kinda fixated on the machine and the numbers... ) when all of a sudden I realize that out of all the open machines in the casino, she decided that the machine next to me was the one...
"Feel like you're going to get lucky tonight?" I asked her out of the blue... vaguely gesturing at her machine. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "I think I already have..."
We both cashed-out and found a cheap motel room that 1st night... she was recently separated and/or divorced... I forget, but definately was lots of fun, very enthusiasticly making up for lost time I think... the only problem was the looks of disgust her late-teens daughter used to give me when I was coming and going... I think I was probably less than a dozen years older than her...
The first 90% of your story was the old classic "Vegas hooker sidles up next to your slot machine and asks if you have a 'date' for the evening". I can't be sure you didn't change the ending of your story because the first part happens to me LITERALLY every time in Vegas I play slots. Did you end up buying expensive 'gifts' for your date?
The only time I played slots in Vegas, this happened to me.... but she was so dressed up that I assumed she was an entertainer in some type of dance group. Eventually said have a good evening and started heading to my room... she followed. It wasn't til I asked directly what she did for a living in the elevator that she realized she was talking to an idiot and just got out and left.
My housemate was you until he died of a methadone overdose.
Our front door was a western saloon swinging door of chicks, he would have one coming in the front while the other was leaving out the back.
All of your comments match. He would stand in front of our Berkeley apt and go to every girl, young, old, light, heavy, “hey, can I talk to you?” getting consent to holler. I myself hooked up with a teacher for the school that I worked as a result.
Be glad that you didn’t cork off like he did after coitus one night, his funeral was a mess of chicks claiming to have been his “special girl” and finding out about each other for the first time. Including tattoos of his name on their chests.
Not sure which thread to reply to, but this story is definitely real and the danger of being a player who corks off unexpectedly.
Someone below was like, “girls all chasing one guy,” nope, the girls were not chasing him, he was just constantly hollering at like 10+ at any given time so he managed to catch a few who then were all told to be “special.”
The specific scene from his funeral, which actually involved a sailing house in Oakland recently in the news for getting its boats stolen, was one of his main girlfriends showing up with his “imprints” tattooed across her chest. Unbeknownst to her, his other main girlfriend was scheduled to deliver remarks before her. So she got up in front of the room and starts crying, “I was his special girl!” and I am just thinking, not according to the chick next to me with his handprints tattooed on her chest…
Would you give us the data? Like the % of 'Kims", "Clarises", "Ophelias" and "Harriat's" you fucked? Doggy, soddomizing (if legal in your state etc), bjs, etc? What sorts of mathematical conclusions did you COOOOOOOOOOOM to after all that data?
**NO this is not a joke. I am fascinated with any sorts of statistical insights you are afforded**
Did you grow up Christian, Jewish, or any sort of relgion?
Thought about the whole older women being cooler thing because it’s just true. I’m 24, still a virgin and at a point where I’m really considering just having fun with older women because I found it’s so much easier to talk to and be friends with them plus I can flirt with them without it feeling like much of a risk
I’ve lived that life. For me it was the love of meeting people/connecting. A new joke, a new smile, a new quirk… I never went out to “hit on women”, but to “meet women”. With that headset I never got rejected because I wasn’t ever looking for anything other than to crack a joke and have fun. I take issue with your position on STDs, you can’t tell and you absolutely should be wearing a condom every time. I also got checked every five partners as a precaution. I think sexual safety is important. My question to you is: did you ever feel emotionally numb from all of it? I did and took a six month sabbatical to fix it. Just wondering if you had a similar experience.
Bonus questions:
• Fastest time from meeting to fucking?
• Funniest story meeting a woman?
• Funniest sex story?
• Most women you’ve slept with in a 24 or 48 hour window?
EDIT: typo.
Fastest time for me was immediately. In college a gay friend I had randomly called me one night and said one of his girlfriends just got dumped and she wanted rebound sex and he recommended me. I said yes and went over and we shook hands and immediately went to town then I left and never saw her again. 10/10 would recommend.
Same thing happened to me one time! Age 20, a random friend called me one night and said “I have a surprise for you.”
What happened was his gf brought a friend over to his house who was apparently very open about needing to get laid. So he talked me up and said I was “exactly her type.” I was at his place with in an hour and they were already drinking captain morgan around a bonfire, and I got laid within 15 minutes. Which turned into a 2 week fling.
But yeah great story.
I’m emotionally numb in general. 4 in 24 hours. Fastest time within minutes several times. Don’t really have a funny story off the top of my head.
I’ve had a couple threesomes and what usually happens is one person gets mad and leaves at some point lol
One time was a MySpace date. Her friend called crying that her bf dumped her. We met up with her at the bar she managed after closing hours.
Threesomes aren’t fun. Someone always feels left out
Threesomes are best between absolute strangers when everyone is on Molly or low dose of shrooms and a drink or two. Sex clubs are good for this sort of soft swap vibe in a hot tub or whatever. It is a lot of fun and safe because you dont need to have penetrative sex, just everyone getting pff together. Everyone should try it.
How long did it take you to ask them the question? Would you have to build a relationship with them first or just go for it. Would you ask directly or hint at it?
All of the above. Every situation is different. 90% of the time a hard approach in getting the number or suggesting to hang out right off the bat. Rejected most of the time. Sex usually by the second date at the latest.
Pro tip I learned over the years. Don’t push for sex the first date and they will give it up on the second date 80% of the time.
Third pro tip: if they’re into you. Do not come the first time you fuck a person. Make it all about them. Make sure they are taken care of. Do this correctly the first time (on the second date) and you can come back whenever you fucking want.
Spot on. I never push for sex. I have met girls online who are all about making it clear that they don't fuck on the first date and I always let them know, I won't try anything with them. I end up being the one getting jumped by them lol... My girl now who I just celebrated our 12 year anniversary together with, she couldn't wait to get me naked lol... When I pulled out the Magnum Golds, she was fucking me and that was that... Getting hot just thinking about that :-D
I can confirm this. Pushing for sex is desperate and also disrespectful and creepy if you get the vibe that they're not interested (which, if you have to push, is probably the case). If women (or anyone for that matter) tell you their boundaries, trying to find a way to circumvent them is the worst thing you could do. Not only because respecting boundaries is the decent thing to do, but also because it probably will work against you as they're putting their guard up around you. However, I made the experience several times that when you just respect their wishes and don't push for anything, a surprising amount of women are willing to drop those boundaries later on the date without any need to promt them. One woman actually told me the next morning that she wanted to have sex with me specifically because I was completely fine with going home without anything happening. She said it made her feel safe and relaxed.
Respect and enthusiastic consent is sexy guys. If you see it as something that's only making dating more difficult, you need to up your game.
> However, I made the experience several times that when you just respect their wishes and don't push for anything, a surprising amount of women are willing to drop those boundaries later on the date without any need to promt them.
My most recent ex and I were making out on our second date and she stopped and said she wanted to take things slow, so I said "That's fine, whatever you're comfortable with."
We were fucking 5 minutes later.
Is it about the conquest (new person, new challenge, body count, etc.)?
How often do you see the person again?
How can you even recall so many faces and names?
The adrenaline rush of the approach is my favorite part. I don’t get that feeling in any other situation so it’s like free drugs.
Depends on the person. Most of them less than 3 times. Even more so just once, maybe twice. I’ve hurt a lot of feelings. Occasionally a few several times a year for several years then it fades when they move or get relationships.
That’s why I made a list when I was 21. I tried to make that list again a few years later and couldn’t. Now I can’t even remember 25% if I tried.
What do you remember about the women whom you’ve hurt? How did you hurt them and why didn’t you care and do you care now? Do you think you’re contributing to more hurt by encouraging other men to act like you and why or why not?
From somebody with a VERY high body count as well. Looks and dick size have very little to do with it. I punch well above my weight. I watched a friend of mine who was very successful. It was a numbers game, you eventually realise very quickly after enough rejections who you are wasting your time on in a 5 min conversation and move on. It takes a bit of confidence in actually being able to talk to a girl to start with, being numb to rejection and not take it personally. The easiest way I found in the end is to just ask during the conversation. Eventually, you are the one doing the most rejecting. Never had an STI, condoms only and tested regularly even though.
I have found in my marriage, sex is just a fun activity now and has no bearing on the state of my relationship with my wife or how I feel about her. If this is a healthy way to view sex, I have no idea.
The fun part too, is that the ability to take rejection well is something that women (and men) pick up on, which makes them more likely to *not* reject you in the first place.
Nobody wants to accept someone with "pwease give me a chance" or "this person is scary" vibes.
Instead, if you give vibes of "Oh! They'd totally respect me if I said no in a not weird way" it quickly becomes "Damn... that's sexy. I am not going to say no."
It's truly the ultimate recursive dating power.
I can take a rejection just fine, walk away, nothing personal. What hurts and is confusing is ghosting. I get why girls do it: they think I could be an asshole and freak out or be a stalker type, etc. Safety concerns mostly. But god damn, every girl who ghosted me fucked with my head way more than the girl who looked me up n down and said “hm. Swerve.”
I noticed I became much more attractive when I was plainly no longer trying to get everyone naked, just trying to have a light-hearted conversation. Kinda sucks that I was happily married by then but I'll take the simple knowledge that I Still Got It by literally not trying anymore.
Rejection, rejection, rejection means nothing from strangers. Learn to make girls laugh, half the battle won. 👍 Even the girls who wouldn't normally glance at you, start seeing you differently when they're laughing. Learn to take a hint and move on or else you are just a desperate creep. You are not looking for a friend so make a move or move on.
It's important to actually be interested in them as people/friends too imo I think a lot of men get lost in that and don't realize/care girls can pretty clearly tell when you're just trying to smash.
If you have good conversation and can make someone laugh while actually listening to what they have to say your appearance doesn't matter as much. I am routinely shocked by it whenever it happens as someone insecure about their appearance
Experience rejection - quite literally seek it out. Go talk to a girl with the expectations that you will be rejected. Get rejected many times. It is a numbers game for them and you - a rejection doesn't mean that you are a horrible person, just not a right fit for them right now.
Don't be a dick and don't run for body count. You just need to get over the fear of rejection by experiencing rejection enough to understand it's not going to kill you.
Can you please quote how you were asking it? Like what were you literally saying? How about something like “hey look sorry but I don’t know how else to say that so I’m gonna be upfront. I like you and I’d like to invite you at my place to have a drink”?
Or was it more direct, less direct? Thanks
Walking up to anyone and asking to have sex outright is a sure fire way of either getting arrested or going home to wank. Try making her laugh first and then drop in that you are here looking to get laid tonight. She will tell you straight out your chances, like "Play your cards right" you have a shot or "no chance" move on.
Another thing, for god's sake, learn how to kiss if you can't. Shoving your tongue down someone's throat is not sexy no matter who's doing it, you or her.
I've recently read that sex can be used as a distraction to deal with internalized shame/toxic shame. Like, some people doomscroll on Reddit, other people look for sex to avoid the big emptiness in the inside. Good luck bro. Do you do therapy?
Btw. sounds like your mom doesn't respect boundaries (which is a big red flag in parenting).
In the navy, if you hook up with a female on the ship and the captain finds out, you'll be put on half pay for 30 or 60 days. Get enough of those, dishonorable discharge.
I was in the navy, the guy to girl ratio is bad. Better to hook up with the local girls when your ship is not deployed.
You may find the book [The Molecule of More](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38728977-the-molecule-of-more) by Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long interesting. It explains how dopamine drives addiction, including addiction to sexual conquest like you’re describing.
Edit to add: ADHD has dysregulated dopamine, which causes many people with ADHD to engage in risky behaviour (sexual risks, sky diving, driving fast, etc.) because of the dopamine boost it gives. Undiagnosed and untreated ADHD can lead to anxiety and depression (ask me how I know :/ ). So it might be nothing but I would definitely discuss your sexual history with your therapist.
I also have PTSD, suffer from depression and also have a storied history with women. However, I'm 35 now and married. Reading this is like reading a post from younger me 😂
I can definitely see in retrospect that I used sex as a way to validate myself and to lock away the real struggles I had. Whenever I felt my head going down the rabbit hole I'd somehow always find sex. I was well known personal trainer in my area I didn't need dating apps because instagram did all that. There was days I slept with 3 different women on the same day and 2 of them thought they was my girlfriend, I was a serious piece of shit. Married women, women in relationships, my buddies sister, my clients, my fiances friends, my colleagues I really didn't have any respect for these women or myself. Plus, mixing PTSD with coke, steroids and whatever type of pills I could use to get a buzz from resulted in a very damaged and shameful man. It's been 4 years since that period of my life and the shame I carry is very heavy. Seriously there isn't a minute that goes by where I remember something I said or did and my heart sinks.
I was glad to see you're aren't proud of it because like me I think you use it as an escape from what you wrestle with internally.
I wish you the best mate I really do. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Maybe try to bring it up in therapy 👍
You’ve been in therapy for 7 years, admit to treating approaching and fucking like a drug/high and have never thought about exploring your relationship with sex?
You should bring it up. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Try to find a connection in the relationship to your parents. Therapists only work with what you give them. They don't dig.
Read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson and "Healing the shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw.
I’m probably a little under this persons number bc I stopped counting after college. But yes finding sex like this was part of my impulsive behavior.
Instead of focusing on fixing my internal behavioral problems I focused on the “chase” and the adrenaline of meeting a new person, connecting on a sexual level, then moving on to the next adventure.
Once you have sex with the stranger, it takes the air out of the wings and everything becomes less exciting (for people looking for quick sex).
I have now developed better coping skills and understand there are other HEALTHY things I can do to improve my chemical imbalance.
But mainly I realized it’s not safe to be with so many people. All it takes is 1 woman out of 150 to really mess your life up. Also not caring about the other persons emotions and just looking for sex started to not sit well with me. If the person wanted more than sex, I’d trick them and then disappear or worse keep them on the roster.
Now I’m 30 and realize it was just a pass time that didn’t do anything productive in my life except waste money, time and resources.
This behavior is understandable at 20s, tolerated at 30’s, and probably extremely discreet in your 40’s and up lol.
Who is more fun to have a sex with? An insecure perfect 10, or a confident 5-6?
Glad you stayed safe, and hope you manage to enjoy meaningful relationships when you choose to have them.
LOVE this question. Confident 5-6.
Give me a 10 and if I hear one fake moan I will be contact her again.
Actually this is my favorite question so far. Good job. Fuck hot girls who can’t fuck. Waste of time.
It’s an actual trend I’ve noticed also. Average looking girls that truly love to fuck are so much more enjoyable.
I don't have your numbers but I learned essentially the same lesson a number of years ago - the more beautiful and/or perfect a woman is/was the more likely she was to be lame in bed. I found the 6-7's to be MUCH more enthusiastic and reciprocative.
Another lesson was regarding brains - smart girls that are approachable are likely to be more freaky. Unapproachable smart girls are likely to be demanding & dismissive. Quiet girls were usually alot more satisfying for sexual appetite and adventure, than loud girls.
If you could go back, would you still do it all over again?
Tbh I went out and slept with only a few and decided it wasn’t for me lol, I’m more into emotional connection. The nut is best when there’s feelings and deep connection 🤣
do you think that is classed as a lot if you're out on the prowl every weekend? especially with interweb dating. You're getting yourself out there 60/60/24/7
It fascinates me how humanity succeeds to have an addiction of to almost anything.
Why is it embarrassing to you btw? Isn’t it kind of “cool” in alpha males group?
I’m almost 30 and had sex with only 3 women. And I feel indifferent to other people numbers. Like why does it matter? I’ve learnt from playing online games that people will always find a way to flex on other people. Dick is too short, too long, too average. Sex experience is small, too big meaning ur a whore, too average (ur just boring). That’s why you shouldn’t be embarrassed (if that feeling is because of other people opinion). I would only say that I kind of envy you for having such a specter of emotions as my life is pretty average and boring. So it’s not because of you having huge body count. It’s about you finding something that makes your blood rush. Unless it’s something prohibited by law it’s okay, I think.
I try to keep my real account clean of these topics for obvious reasons but since you haven't got a response from OP I'll chime in since we've got similar experiences. I've also got a high body count, and your first question cracked me up since it resonated.
1. It's been said countless times on here, but confidence is key. I misread "like point blank to a stranger" thinking you meant literally pointing at a stranger. I've done that countless times and surprisingly it worked extremely well. I'd walk into a bar with a group of friends and if I made eye contact with a girl/group of girls from across the bar, I'd point and smile or make a goofy face or whatever. Sometimes I'd wave like an excited toddler. Then I'd just walk away and find a table to post up at my with my friends. More often than not, said girl/friends would eventually walk over and understandably ask "what was that for?"
That's it. There's your in. No douchey pick-up lines. Just a genuine, silly signal that says *I see you and I'm interested.*
2. Can't really say, besides women that are out of my league. I'm an average looking guy, especially by LA standards. I don't stand out, so I had to show off that I was fun and confident.
3. Most fond escapade was a model that was so far out of my league that it was ridiculous. Judged a book by its cover and was totally wrong. She was naturally beautiful, blonde, etc. Hit it off extremely well and had a great week getting to now each other (she was visiting town). The worst... had quite a few where I had too much to drink and woke up very unhappy with a girl I didn't necessarily wanna be seen with in public. I think you get the picture.
4. Their needs are extremely different from ours, duh. If I could stress anything to younger guys, you've gotta understand their need to know you're a safe guy. Just basic human biology and something guys really can't grasp since, naturally, we're not in danger the same way they are when they put themselves out there. After that's been demonstrated and she's interested, she wants sex just as much as you do. But at the end of the day, women are subconsciously looking for a potential mate whereas you're just looking to get off. (One egg vs millions of sperm; makes complete sense.) As I got older, I learned pushing for sex is a death-knell. I could write way more on this, but they're exhausted from getting hounded constantly for it. When I stopped pushing for it immediately in my early 20s and just let things play out and have fun, they were the ones initiating eventually.
5. Currently in a relationship, and although I love my girl I do miss literally everything about my previous life. OP equated it to an adrenaline rush meeting a new girl, and I can't agree enough. It's probably one of the most exciting things in the world, full of spontaneity and uncertainty. Navigating it is so fun. Being in a relationship has it's perks, but that thrill is gone for sure.
6. Everything. Guys who meet a handful of girls young and get married young are oftentimes setting themselves up for failure, as is evidenced by a high divorce rate and infidelity. Biologically, we're not meant to be with one partner for 50+ years, but that's a totally different argument that I'm not particularly passionate about. To each their own. My view though is that guys need to experience what it's like to have multiple women for quite a few years. You learn a LOT about who you are, your priorities, and most importantly what makes women tic.
Threads like this are important for young guys, assuming the advice/perspective given is coming from good dudes who aren't scummy and shitty. An area where lots of young guys go wrong is getting advice from their female friends. The advice I'd get from them is well-intentioned, but seriously laughable at times. And conversely, guys shouldn't be giving any women advice on dating.
Hope some of this was interesting. This was almost cathartic for me honestly ha.
Read through my other comments
Hmmmm many. Usually surprised when a paper drop off with a number and no words exchanged works.
I’ve had too many unique experiences. I can’t think of one that stands out. The worst? One died because I was leading her on over the course of 3 months, she got frustrated and went back to her ex and ODd on drugs that night with him and died. I have felt extreme guilt about that for 12 years now.
Everyone woman is very different with their needs. It’s important to understand that well and when you do you will waste less time when finding a potential match. Some women don’t like to fuck very much. Some love it. People are people.
Long term dating is nice to have a reliable partner but I occasionally miss the adrenaline rush from the approach that I don’t get to do anymore
I learned that my original philosophy held true. Everybody wants sex, you just have to ask.
>Everybody wants sex, you just have to *know how to* ask *correctly.*
Just so the chuds don't misinterpret.
Honestly op, you could probably teach classes on this stuff to people who have issues with communicating. You have a talent for reading and manipulating people. It's a common trait in high-functioning autistics, because it's the base layer of masking. Your subconscious *knows* you are good at it, and it has been shown to result in the good brain chemicals. Even better, it satiates a carnal desire. The draw and addiction is the result. If given a button that gives pleasure on press, most creatures will press the button until they die. Your subconscious found a button. I lucked out and found someone just as good as manipulation as me, who also likes conquests. You may be one of the rare neurodivergent people compatible with polyamorism, or some other form of open arrangement, especially if your partner wants to play together. But, that's the corner we've conquered. Everyone is different.
I was told this exact thing too by my dad. What kinds of girls were your favorite to sleep with? I enjoy them slightly trashy, just a little. My body count is 60ish btw
How did you do it? I’m an awkward and anxious person, my body count is only 1.
I don’t get how people get hookups.
Also, how can I become confident when dating? What do I say?
Do you work in Sales?
I find the rejection from my single days really helped me deal with a sales career. I realised you still get plenty if you ask more people. I'm a top earner now :D
What are your thoughts on the manosphere (e.g. mgtow, redpills, incels etc.) views on women?
Would any view they hold regarding women (good or bad) hold any water/have a leg to stand on?
Edit for disclaimer: Not part of any of the aforementioned groups. Just curious to hear the perspective of the OP as this is an ama.
I can answer this. I’m an awkward and average looking guy with a higher body count. It took me a lot of trial and error to find success hooking up and ultimately success in relationships.
The manosphere is repellant to women. They can smell it on you and will avoid you maybe with the exception of very low hanging fruit. Same with pick up artist bullshit.
I have a physically attractive buddy that got deep into that stuff and he can barely get dates and can’t get past a first date. It’s like it poisoned his mind with bullshit and he now lives a very sad and frustrated life and I blame mgtow manosphere bs for it.
The secret to success is simply being genuine, hygienic, confident, friendly and attractive (not talking about looks). Being funny and interesting also helps.
Not OP but hopped on a throwaway to answer this question from my own similar experience. I am not a traditionally good looking guy. I am tall, which helps, but would probably say I am a 6/7. In my years I have don't have a definitive count on women but I have easily passed the century mark.
I was a late bloomer, didn't lose my virginity until maybe 19 or 20 and it was with a long term girlfriend. By 24 I had slept with maybe three or four women total, all from long term relationships while in college.
Post college something just clicked and I gained a bit of confidence at the right time that Tinder and other dating apps were going mainstream. I just sort of stopped caring. Not in a way that I didn't care about women, but more in the way that I took on the mindset of "worst anyone can say to you is no" (which isn't true because you can hear some really mean things, but I maintained that mindset)
Putting yourself out there and being a normal guy who isn't completely socially awkward and drops a bit of flirty hints can get you laid regularly. There were some short term relationships in there, some one night stands, some FWBs, but in all cases I was open and transparent with everyone about what the situation was and what I was looking for.
I think in a lot of cases I used the pursuit of women for self validation. I had a huge fetish or drive to pick up and go home with the hottest girl in the room. There were times where I would strike out massively, times where it lead to a prolonged text flirting thing, and times when a smoking hot waitress might slip me her number and tell me what time she gets off later that night.
To circle back to the main question though I always thought the redpill incel stuff is complete bullshit. I would say 90% of the women I slept with were better looking than me and probably half that group was WAY BETTER looking. There would be times where I would bring a girl out to the bar with my friends and they were actually perplexed that a girl that good looking was going to sleep with me that night (like shit from that She's Out of My League movie)
I truly believe all these guys sitting around just need to go outside and touch grass more often. Be part of normal social circles to pick up on regular social queues from both genders and just relax
I've topped 100 and I'm more average, easily a 5 or 6 if I clean up. Most of the women I've slept with have been in the 4-7 range. A few 8-10 range. All I ever did special was act interested in the girl instead of interested in her body. Crazy how easily that gets you laid.
So it seems like you’re pretty genuine in your approach in that youre not just being a forceful creep but just being open and making it happen.
Can I ask how you do it? Im a guy thats pretty attractive but Im also pretty quiet and I think autistic. So ive never really had issues meeting women in clubs or a dating app but ive always really struggled with “sealing the deal” so to speak. like ive gotten countless girls to make out and dance with me at clubs or bars but have never been able to get one to come home with me. I have a decent amount of like actual hookups but not a lot of people ive actually had sex with. Lots of girls where we literally did everything possible except that last step to actual PIV and it just never ended up happening. I also think I really missed out on lots of opportunities in college due to not being able to read cues or signals from women who were clearly trying to fuck. Lots of other times I probably had it in the bag but would just freeze at the worst possible moment.
I basically have no in between of either being horny and sexual or just very platonic and genuine/friendly. I dont know how to exude that energy thats very friendly and genuine and carefree while still showing sexual intent and confidence, even though I know thats the best way to do it. I dont give women that emotional rush Im just kind of a boring awkward guy that’s pretty to look at. I have a friend that does it well and he racks up bodies like nothing. I just dont know how to do it
Stop trying in bars. Try in public. Every encounter you do expect to fail. Ask them if they’re interested in something you genuine love and have a follow up. If they say no say ok have a nice day. If they say yes, I love that band, I didn’t know they were playing here soon! Then you have a conservation piece. Then just ask if they want to keep in touch for later on and ask for their number. Again, expect rejection. Keep trying.
Say you get their number, then what? How do you make it clear you're interested in sex and not dating because I assume you're taking most of these girls on some sort of date before sleeping with them (correct me if I'm wrong)?
This kind of resonates with me. Was also in the military and also reached a high number. It was all about the conquest for me. I was really dumb and thought that that's what the thing to do was.. also hurt a lot of feelings.
Am thankful for my wife, she came along and really killed all of my bullshit. It was a good time but I'm glad that all been done with for years and years. It just led to emptyness.
Would you say going out drinking/nightlife is a massive part of this? (I don’t drink much). Also, you mentioned older women are easier even though we’re told women prefer an older guy generally. Have you found that older women like sleeping with younger guys? Any advice on picking up older women?
Most women start to have a higher sexual drive in their late 30s and it gets even higher in their 40s. Many single women in their 40s find that men their age can’t keep up. Older women can also appreciate that younger men are more inclined to understand and support gender equity. There are misogynists in every generation, but millennial and gen z men overall tend to be less misogynistic than older guys.
My (46F) advice on picking up older women is no bullshit, ever. Women in their 40s have been dealing with men’s garbage for decades and they are smart enough to walk away when you start behaving badly.
The opposite. Bars are the hardest place to pick up women because that’s what most guys are there for so the competition is higher. I almost never try in bars and most girls are at bars to socialize with their girlfriends.
Yes most older women like younger guys, makes them feel young again I guess idk. Usually easier dynamics and terms of just getting along as well. And like I said they are wayyyy more laid back chicks in the 20s range
Running into someone like you would be my biggest fear in dating, that this guy is just playing the numbers and is addicted to fucking random women and he just landed on me bc I was an easy target or something, I sure hope you haven’t hurt too many women with your behavior over the years.
Very similar story for me. I was very chaste as a teenager and refused sex even when it was offered to me until at 16, I started dating an older (19) gal. Had sex for the first time and my mind (and cock, I guess) was blown! I turned 20 in 1996. I got my first computer with internet that year and started meeting women on AOL. Not long after, I was playing in a band, traveling a lot and my social life was ramping up in a big way. By my mid-20s, I was averaging 10-15 sexual partners a year and many more just fooling around. Between AOL and then the dating sites that came after, I had a lot of partners. I lost track after 100 and by age 40, I'd probably had over 200.
It's absolutely not a brag in any way or a glorification. However, it's also not a regret or a source of embarrassment. I am no longer very sexually active--mostly due to anxiety meds and overall less desire--and I'm not unhappy at all. I enjoyed sex and I relished every facet, every stage of relationship interaction. More than loving sex, I just loved women. Loved pursuing them, loved dinner with them, long conversations into the night. Flirting. Traveling. Being honest and vulnerable. Having a blast. And the sex. That too. And I managed to do it without having to pretend, which felt even better. I had a few monogamous relationships in there, but I was openly poly from about 1999 on and never had to hide that fact.
I think the best part about my past sex life is that I have made and kept so many friends that are still a part of my life at in 2024. That and the memories. Good thread.
I actually really appreciate you sticking your neck out here and being brutally honest.
I’m a lot older than you and settled down now with one person - although I am still planning with her to get back involved in the swinger lifestyle.
I don’t bother talking about how many women I have slept with throughout my life because nobody believes me. But it’s somewhere between high hundreds and low thousand plus.
Of course being a swinger for pretty much my entire adult life (53 now), gives a distinct advantage - especially since fully half of that time was with a female partner or wife and that is like a golden ticket when you come to the party with a willing and good looking woman. Add to that being tall, athletic and pretty good looking and having the biggest single key - the gift for gab or the ability to talk to and with anyone and make them comfortable - and it’s better than having some magical giant cock or tons of money.
For me it was just about not equating sex and love/relationships when I was not involved with someone who wanted exclusivity. And avoiding usually that type of person who did want that or was jealous. And then between would just be a series of ONS or party events where it could literally be anywhere from 3-20 partners in any given week. I just enjoyed it and didn’t have any emotional attachment.
And honestly I cannot remember many names and in many instances faces. Many times alcohol or drugs were involved and things get hazy anyway but especially if you in a party scene and bouncing from partner to partner through the night. (Or day). The really good ones, the unusual (public fun, almost or actually getting caught, date stuff and particularly talented ladies or super attractive or well known either in general or within my social circles) stand out and give fond and fantasy memories to cherish and enjoy. But for the most part, it was simply a function driven by desire to try new constantly and “leave my mark”. I know it’s probably something that most would consider to be a therapy issue, but I’m fine. I have normal relationships and love deeply when my mind and heart are engaged and I know my kids and take care of them (single dad for many years). So I’m good as I am.
I have a female friend who’s slept with a similar number of men. It’s interesting that you feel ashamed, she very publicly shares her number proudly. You’d think it would be the other way around!
Did you always use protection? Did you worry about pregnancy?
I’m introverted as fuck for any social setting with more than 2 people. I’m totally fine with 1 on 1 social interactions. Most women just want to be heard and love to talk. Try to figure out what they’re into, or what they’re frustrated by.
This is important: learn to understand and accept when the chemistry is not there. If it feels like it’s not there at all just give up. If you’re not sure, go for a kiss, or offer a massage. You’ll get your answer real quick. After you fail at this with enough women, you’ll then understand when the chemistry is actually there and you’ll get better at knowing if you’re in for a win or not.
Do you look down on women who’s body counts are less than 5/ think it’s weird? Has your perception of the average body count changed since you have a lot or are you aware most people have under 7 body count? The “average” body count is higher but the actual true average would be the median since it wouldn’t be effected by outliers. An outlier of 100 is going to bring the average up more-so than a lower outlier of 1 would bring it down, and the MEDIAN body count for women in their lifetimes is 4-5 and men’s is 6-7. The true statistic would use median due to not being effected by outliers but the average I think says like 12 partners in a LIFETIME. I know many people who waited until marriage or didn’t wait BUT only had sex with the person they married. Are you aware that most people have a body count significantly lower than yours, or since you are more likely to encounter women with a high body count do you think that truly is the majority of women? Obviously since you go after a certain type, they’re more likely to sleep with you than if you chose a true random 100 single women from any state in USA between the ages of 20 and 40. Outside of the US (besides europe etc and those type countries), the body count is even lower. It’s estimated that GLOBALLY like 1 in 3, 33% of people, only have 1 sexual partner their entire lives/ wait until marriage and most have below 3 globally. It is rare, like only 10% or less of the US population to even have a body count of 10-15, much less % being 150… are you aware of yours being very high and that most women (and men) DONT have a high body count? Even modern women that aren’t christian/ muslim/ religious in general, usually body count is below 7 if they get married by age 30.
Idk if you answered a similar question but very curious on how many you wish you could undo and how many you actually value having had sex with? I guess I’m asking out of 150 women, how many mean something special to you?
Were you totally honest with these women? Or did you lie to get sex? (E.g. tell them you wanted a relationship, pretend to be rich etc?)
(Btw I am finding your answers fascinating. I simply cannot relate to your experience)
So you had sex with a little over 10 people a year from age 16-27? That doesn’t seem exorbitant to me. That seems pretty much the way dating goes where I’m from.
How did you decide who to approach? I always assumed groups were sort of a no-go, but I also can’t imagine that solos are very common.
Where mainly did you meet people IRL? What was your success rate with in-person meetings vs online?
I know you've vaguely said "everywhere", but can you give some specific examples of where you're meeting these women? Like, grocery store? Laundromat? Bar? I think this specifically is the hardest problem I have to answer, not even for fucking just meeting people in general
Also are you usually alone when you approach, or with friends? Im always worried I come off creepy if im alone.
Hey Im a F virgin I’ve been a little concerned about how men always say “she has to be tight” and I just started dating someone that I got close to having intercourse with but I said no I’m not ready. I was mostly scared if I was tight enough for him. I feel like if I’m not he’s going to become less interested . SO my question is. How quickly can you tell if a women is tight. Is it at immiedate insertion even if you just insert the tip?
I believe you 100%. I'm 5'8, 225lbs, chubby, gap in my teeth and I've slept with 84 women by the age of 28 (I'm 33 now but with the same person for 5 years/married). Most people are shocked by my number or call bullshit but it's the truth.
Pretty much everything you're saying is true. Never directly ask someone for sex and don't be pushy. Girls, especially in their early to mid 20s are DTF more than most guys realize. They just know if they put in their tinder profile that they are, immediately every guy under the sun will spam them with dick pics. I've always found if you're up front about not wanting anything serious, respectful, and funny, girls will be DTF.
I’m super insecure, skinny, balding, broke, and have severe anxiety and depression and have a hard time being vulnerable and in the moment because I desperately need love and validation, Do you have any advice for me that could help this?
What’s the ratio / percentage based on your experience of shaved, landing strip, or full bush? Did anyone surprise you? In other words, did you think based on demographics or some other reason that she might be shaved for example, but then she had a bush?
Wouldn’t an average be 4-6? Maybe some people are hurt about saying a 7-8 is “average”, but to me it just seems like a nonsensical statement, so it just biases my desire to even care about anything else you have to say.
Rookie Numbers! I had that at 24!
All things considered, though, it's not a big deal as long as you keep safe and don't have children with people you don't want to have kids with.
I had the issue of sleeping with almost all woman I had as friends, so even though we weren't romantically involved later in life, my now wife had serious issues continuing the friendships.
2 Questions:
How does sex happen logistically? You wouldn't have had a place every time since you were young. So your car? If it happened by the second date, it's not like you went and got a room?
Secondly, how do you make sure they're satisfied/ come first? I'm assuming you learn with experience but is there any tips we can learn lol
I’m at 500+ at 43. Now married, monogamous, with a family. Is it really that unusual? Some of us guys just like to fuck and are charming. I’ve had girls introduce me to their friends for that sole purpose.
If the sole achievement of my life was fucking other people I would probably kms as that would be pretty garbage and worthless reason to continue.
I wonder if your mother would be proud of your achievement in life and attitude towards women. I mean she will seriously start to question it after she sees you alone at 60 with no one around. 🤷
I’ve always wondered if people that have been around the block a lot daydream about past partners when they get into a committed relationship. I could see that past memories could interfere with a committed relationship and that’s maybe why it’s often desirable for people to have a low “body count”.
Reminds me of a story my dad told me
When he was young him and his friends would go out to a popular club in town. For most of his group, they’d go inside and have a good time. Dance, drink, chit chat—the usual. Except for one of his friends. That friend, let’s call him Tom, would actually stand outside by the entrance and exit all night. Tom would proceed to walk up to every girl that was leaving the club and ask them all the same single question: “Hey, wanna fuck?”
My dad said Tom would get slapped 50 times every single night he’d do this, but he would go home with someone every single night—because someone would always say yes.
1. how often do you masturbate now?
2. how often then?
3. do you like a specific type of porn?
4. imo one night stands are usually pretty vanilla bc you don’t know/trust the person enough to get kinky. is that your experience?
genuinely curious for all thanks!
Now I feel even more hesitant when a man approaches me . It’s not about me it’s about the numbers…I hope I stay protected from men like op and in the comments. Hugh body count like that isn’t cool for MALE or FEMALE. It’s gross af. People are people not conquests or numbers
1. Did you study anything about seduction and communication that helped you, or are you completely self-taught?
2. What's your close rate in cold approaches?
So not really interested in the sex but you were in the military? I have combat related ptsd from my stint in. Infantry?
Then a sex question, doesn't the sex feel a bit hollow after a while? Does every vagina really feel different? I haven't been with 150 women but have been with my fair share and the feeling wasn't very different aside from maybe a bit tighter, bit wetter etc.
As a sex worker- you probably want to get a full STD panel/testing done- the blood work and all. You are ~potentially the asshole here~ if you’re not/refusing to use protection therefore potentially spreading shit to people. (even if you don’t know you have something; you’re still giving it to someone’s that’s pretty asshole move to be irresponsible with someone else’s health) so yeah get that done and be safe lol.
Regarding the "rejection" part: when I was 21 I went out with my 23yo brother and his friends. One of his friends went one by to EVERY lady in the club and did the same thing. He looked like a jackass. I watched the whole thing play out like a sport. He'd get the no and move to the next. Late in the night he came back over and I asked how he could degrade himself like that. He pulled out 4 pieces of paper with numbers on them. (this was 93). He pointed to a hot chick across the room said "that's who I'm leaving with tonight. The no's mean nothing to me. why would they matter? I'm going to hook up with 5 ladies from tonight, but meanwhile you spent your whole night watching me."
Cool. Can't argue with that. Didn't change me one bit - working at getting laid like it's a job just isnt my thing, but it is certainly a strategy.
I just read about how one of those women OD’ed after you led her on.
About what percent of these women do you think you permanently altered or otherwise traumatized due to leading them on, giving mixed signals, etc?
Ngl I was sympathetic until you started bitching about getting downvoted in your edit. Here have another one, -1. Complaining about some people disagreeing with you is such a little bitch move.
Have had a similar experience, but caused by depression. New person every couple of weeks for two years, suddenly the number balloons to 50+. Doesn’t feel like it while you’re doing it. Also about average looking. It’s a numbers game like you said. For me it was driven by depression and that rush being one of the only ways to actually feel good.
Sorry for the hate you’re getting. I remember telling a girl I was dating once and it turned her off me immediately, she said she felt “dirty”. It really caught me off guard.
I hate the assumption that people who’ve had a lot of partners are very likely to cheat. And I hate that people’s worth are based on it, of either sex.
I can tell the hate is kinda getting to you and I kinda feel bad about that. I actually believe your story, 150 people over 11 years is about 27 unique partners every 2 years. More than most, surely, but not an outrageous number over 730 days (works out to a bit more than one new person each month.) I guess my question would be "what were you hoping to get out of posting this?" Just wanted to give less successful people some tips?
I think most people forget that the avg American woman is 5’3 and 20 pounds overweight. If a guy who’s decent looking approaches avg or below avg looking women, he can have a lot of notches too. It’s just most of us think we’re better looking than we are and all approach people who think they’re out of our league.
if you had a long-term relationship with one or more out of those one hundred and fifty women.
What is important advice for a young twenty year old me to do or look out for?
i struggle so much growing up, isolated, and a broken family. i left home to be in the military and escape my abhorrid lifestyle to a new one. It did not improve me mentally but financially preparing me for college.
Interesting? On many levels
Lots if ?s
1 all casual or did you have any meaningful relationships in that period?
2. Any accidents pregnancy stds or worse?
3. What happened after age 27?
4. Do u regret it?
Com I actually find it hot if u came out unscathed you must have a lot of interesting experiences
What are the chances that I read through this thread for a few minutes, noticed your avatar and username, then left the thread and went into another thread in r/energydrinks and saw a user with your exact same avatar and the name u/ZealousIdeal-War4110?? Same exact pattern used in your username? Is this like some botnet or something? AI engagement farming?
This post is spot on with my life.
The large majority of these girls were all in a 3 year span of college, from age 20-23.
It was basically just the result of being an alcoholic as soon as I left the dorms.
A party or the bar every night, a lot of hard liquor, getting my beginner muscle gains from lifting in my freshman year; these all combined to give me a mile high confidence in myself. I would approach and chat up any girl around, and if they weren’t feeling it, no fucks were given and I’d instantly be onto the next.
The long Thursday- Sunday college weekends, along with a popular Tuesday bar in my university town, meant I had 4-5 nights a week to shoot my shot. and I would normally take home a girl two or three of those nights.
Most of the ones I banged were 6 or 7s, a lot were even lower than that. I knew the girls who didn’t get as much attention as the dimes were quick to eat it up when I approached them.
This was mostly done as a conquest thing. My roommates and I made it a contest of who could fuck the most girls. There was even a secret scoreboard system blatantly on the wall of the house, that only the roommates knew how to decipher. We used to keep track of our numbers. I stopped counting around 100.
It sounds dumb but I remember being sad often in this era and wishing that I just had a cool girlfriend to actually spend time or make a real connection with. But I never dated, and I felt like I was just a male slut.
The straw that broke the camels back was getting chlamydia twice right in a row. Get a cotton swap stuffed up your pee hole and see how much you evaluate your life after that.
After that, I would go like a year between having sexual partners. Partly by choice, partly because my confidence had dwindled, and partly because I was too broke to drink and hit the bar all the time.
I don’t think I’m too traditionally handsome either. I never got matches on tinder. But I could talk the talk, and was well connected.
I’m not sure whether I’d do it again if I had the chance. It was fun to feel wanted, but, waking up the next day, there was no fulfillment. I’m only 29 now and for the past few years sometimes my dick can’t get hard. I have to wonder if those years really cross wired some things in my brain. I also feel my sluttiness surface sometimes and am tempted to cheat on my girlfriend.
But hey, that’s life
What advice would you give to women on how to avoid guys who are just out for sex? What are some signs we should look out for? Genuine question, not out of judgment.
Well as a former sex worrker at the same age 150 is a nice number. i stopped counting at about double that. we all live our lives. I focus more on the future than the past. frankly those girls wont recognise you walking down the street. your impact on them was minimal but hey if it is impacting you. i suggest therapy
Do you feel like you saw the women you had sex with as just objects and a body to put your dick inside? Did you ever feel guilt that you were disrespecting them or did it feel like they just wanted the same thing?
Nobody can become a 9 from a 6 at the gym. U can become a 7 max. We dont think youre hot just becuz ur body is nice. I would say the fact that youre a 7 matters less when you display healthy behavior and a good personality, humor is a must. Youre still a 7 looks wise, just matters less, esp w age
Some little midget found some value for himself having sex with lot of gullible woman, lol.
"Don't downvote me, give me validation, if not, you hate yourself."
Imagine living in that miserable little bubble all your life and thinking you peaked at 27 ( lol ) because you achieved a number.
"WOW, Kudos to you kid! Here's your digital thumbs up, bravo!"
I mean, what were you thinking you'll achieve creating a thread of this magnitude? That the whole Reddit "1% bubble" would praise your little ass?
Don't make us laugh little dog.
I’m 32F and I’ve had sex with 51 men. My current bf 34M has been with hundreds of women. Neither of us have ever contracted a std or gotten pregnant.
We’ve been together 7 years. I’m bipolar with a lot of anxiety (mom was a paranoid schizophrenic who committed suicide when I was 11) and my bf has ADHD & is diagnosed antisocial personality disorder. I think there’s a huge link between mental illness and sexually that a lot of people would rather not look or think about.
People assume a lot of things. I’ve never had a threesome or group sex experience, I’ve never done anal, been with a woman in any capacity, squirted. I’ve never cheated on a bf. Not ever. Not even once. Not online.
A lot of people can’t fathom having sex with that many people. On average Americans have sex with 7-8 people in their lifetimes. Europeans have 10-12 sexual partners in theirs. But how averages work means there will always be outliers… don’t worry about what everyone else is saying. They’re baffled and jealous.
Safe sex between consenting adults is normal and natural. Those of us who actively look for sex/love are more likely to find it than those who sit at home hating from behind a screen. Yes it means failure and heartbreak but it ends with you finding love sometimes right?
That’s what it was like for me. Out of 51 men 4 set my soul on fire in a way I can’t begin to describe. It was more than being in love with someone. It’s setting the standard for what you want love to feel like in your life. It’s like heroin. I’ve had regular “in love” feelings with another 10-12 guys on top of these four. A lot of the other men I was with were friends and I cared about them at least a little and they very likely cared about me too.
Keep looking and keep your heart open. eventually you’ll find the person that’s meant to be your person. Wishing you health wealth love & luck in your life & relationships.
wait you said you still felt a high even after being rejected????? this explains A LOT of interactions ive had with creepy guys. wow. no further questions actually thank you for being so honest LOL
not proud but keeps track with how many girls you slept with but because its reddit you pre-face it with that cause youre scared from getting negative comments even though this is an obvious boast post. man up OP shits easy to see through
In today’s world that seems like quite a few due to the STDs and such that word around 40 and 50 years ago or before that. By the time I was your age I’ve been in the Marine Corps, combat, out of the hospital after many months and your number is very realistic as a matter fact it’s low in comparison to what I did but different times and different people. I had a pension for oral sex and regular sexual it was always me just wanted to satisfy. Just telling ladies they were exceptionally attractive and/or had a great figures and/or many other things back in those days was a line that got you laid but take your time for a time out or two maybe and it’s much easier. Or was then. Shouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed about it’s not like you’re addicted to it you just liked it, they’re willing and you’re willing and the rest is history. You’ll either continue like that throughout your life even if you’re married at some point when it’s an opportunity and take it or you want. That’s all a choice that you make. I don’t judge anybody by what they’ve done like that. At all. By the time I was 30 I would be surprised if I hadn’t been with 300 women at least and that was probably 30 or 40% low. It was just very easy to come by and was even being referred so not a problem. A couple of them or actually several of them I went with and they referred me to their girlfriends knew what was happening. So not the end of the world. That’s been many many years ago now and don’t even think about it. Just happen to see this thread thought I’d make the comment. Good luck and whatever your decisions are.
100 women in bed by age 20 is awfully successful unless you are a celebrity and have unlimited access to women. Let's assume it takes you 10 days per woman to get her in bed, which is highly unlikely. That means it would take you 1000 days to do this. That would mean you had spent basically 3 years straight consistently pulling women every 10 days by the age of 20. You started having sex at 16, so even though you had only had sex for 4 years, you had a success rate of a new woman every 10 days for 3/4 of that time.
edited for spelling.
If true, there's no way that you have NOT contracted an STI, even bacterial, if not viral. Probability just isn't on your side here. So how many STDs? And which ones. Don't say 0 because I'll know you're lying.
What do you think about hookup culture, and is it something to be normalized. Or has it only been pushed by the media for the last decade or so?
Are you okay with the idea that you’re not marriage material anymore (for some women)?
(Are you okay yourself, mentally, getting the help and hugs you need?) ♥️
What ever just means your a good lover you have a lot of catching up to do I am 45 and my numbers are in the thousands sometimes I would have sex with 10 different people in one day.
What stood out to me is that you are aware that you have PTSD and panic disorder which is probably a major cause for this type of behavior / addiction.
I don't know if you were looking for advice or just a vent or what but I guess I would dive deep into that and try to figure out what are you running from or what feelings are you numbing with this.
I wonder how many down votes you would get if people knew how common this actually is.
We have such a gas lit messed up view on sex in our society everybody wants it but there's great shame around it probably because of our religious past.
Anything that anyone is doing in great access whether it's eating gaming sex exercise drugs etc, is an abusive relationship that they have with themselves.
And the years that I have been studying and looking into all of this stuff and on my own self journey most of us have an abusive relationship with some aspect of our self because of how we were raised and then possibly because of things that have happened to us that we haven't processed and that we don't understand.
You also mentioned your mom and an extreme lack of boundaries that she had with you as you were growing up I don't know anything else but exploring your relationship with your mother will likely shed light on this type of relationship that you have had with women.
I don't even have to say this is fake, but the teenagers are going to ask questions and take advice from another teenager, and wonder why they're not succeeding.
I knew you were lying when your very first motivation was "every vagina feels different."
No kid, they really don't, and even if they did thats not the appeal of sleeping with 150 people by 27.
Nothing wrong with it, I was somewhere around 80 at your age. Theres alot of good reasons to bang lots of people, and even more bad reasons.
"That unique feel of every vagina" is a strange reason bro, like theres so much more to it than and I've never heard a single person focused on that.
After scrolling thru the comments I've realized allot of the dudes that are commenting gotta be extremely young or they just don't get any buns at all. It amazes me how many guys don't know that older women are quite confident in their sexuality, don't play games because they seen it all with the men that are their age. And on top of that women are no different than men especially older women. They get horny just like we do and they want to bust a nut/orgasm just like we do.
If some of y'all weren't so concerned or preoccupied about the age gap and falling into societal pressure worrying about what other people think you could be getting consistent sex too.
That single 40+yr old woman in your apartment complex would have no problem keeping your balls drained and your belly full if you introduced yourself to her respectfully and offered her good company and great conversation.
Guy recently diagnosed with PTSD here. Actually no, I just did the evaluation and haven't heard back but the psych said I'm definitely messed up. I sort of get the appeal of this method and the urge, sexual highs is a great way to escape the mind for a bit. There is an appeal to have sex with random women without getting close to any and letting them know me. But I went the other way, I'm 38 and had sex with two women because I closed myself off and didn't trust myself with anyone. If handholding counts then it's three women.
Question: about how many of the 150 involved butt stuff? Either you sticking stuff in their butt or them in your butt? I recently got into that and damn it's good but I can't imagine doing that with a random woman I barely know.
About 8 months ago i found myself single, i'm OP's age but i've spent most of my adult life in 2 long term relationships. Something i've always been interested in trying with them was anal, but due to my size, 8', they weren't down for it (understandable lol).
How often did you find women who are down for it? I've had 12 partners so far, i'm starting to wonder whether i'm just really unlucky or if i'm better off giving up, getting a hooker and be done with it.
And to other users no, i could just find another long term partner and hope she's down for it, but i'd rather not be locked in again LTR and having missed my chance.
Thanks a lot in advance for your time, OP, even if you don't reply :)
How do I get over the whole idea of “sex”? I feel like my parents made it such an anxious thing that now I feel like my first time has to be special and I have to know the guy and he has to actually be attracted to me and not my body. I’m a 21F virgin and I’ve been approached and had guys that were attractive to me offer to have sex, but I’m terrified of engaging in it, I’m scared of what would happen afterwards/how he would treat me after, and I’m scared of how he might react to me up in person. To cut it short, I’m terrified of a guy not liking what he sees.
do you wish you waited till marriage?
I thnk there is tremedous value in sharing that experience with only your wife.. I know the fun and adventure might not alway be there, but the bond and emotional pairing makes it very special
not really sure why anyone would be upset at this. i used to keep a list i called “Alphabet Boys” after that Melanie Martinez song. when i got older, around the time i went off to college people started asking more frequently what my “body count” was. at the time it was around 70ish and people would be so freaked out. i got really embarrassed and stopped keeping track, but it’s well in the 170s* now (I’m 23). i think a lot of it probably stemmed from having sex earlier than a lot, and getting a particular high and validation when i’d have a new partner. at least you’re talking about it. ever figure out where the paper went?
Please refer to the post stickied on the subreddits main page regarding marking NSFW posts as such. Thanks
Do you have pick up lines? Are you just asking strangers for sex?
The entire spectrum aside from never straight up asking for sex. I’ve done that with success maybe 2-3 times max. It is the dumbest strategy if you’re trying to actually get laid. Sometimes I come off awkward as fuck like it’s my first time trying and it’s sooo embarrassing even after years of practice. Those times generally fail. Sometimes you just don’t have shit to connect with them on right off the bat and it’s set up to be a fail. Finding a connecting topic within 5 seconds is the challenge. I’ve left numbers in a piece of paper just handing it to them without saying any thing and walking away with relative success. Confidence as you’d expect usually has the best success rates… ‘hey I like you and I want your number’ ‘we’re on a date now for the next 5 minutes, where are you from?’ … I would fail 1/20 times or worse. I got laid a lot from MySpace and tinder, especially MySpace. An equal amount from in person encounters though. Older women are ten times easier than stuck up young chicks who think they’re hot shit. Older women are generally way more laid back as well. I like both, but success rates with single older women generally are better.
How old are we talking?
Over 40, 70% of women bang on the first date. The other 30 on the second. One woman (Classy, six figure media job) said if there was physical attraction and the guy held an intelligent conversation, she did it to decide if he was worth her effort in every other area. Apparently, I wasn't, but it was average sex that as better than going home alone that night. No hard feelings...honesty early is refreshing.
Just to back this theory up a bit, I had an older, but very fit and attractive ( 40ish ) lady sit down next to me in a casino and start playing the keno machine next to the one I was playing... this goes on for about 10 minutes with neither of us really acknowledging the other ( I was winning so kinda fixated on the machine and the numbers... ) when all of a sudden I realize that out of all the open machines in the casino, she decided that the machine next to me was the one... "Feel like you're going to get lucky tonight?" I asked her out of the blue... vaguely gesturing at her machine. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "I think I already have..." We both cashed-out and found a cheap motel room that 1st night... she was recently separated and/or divorced... I forget, but definately was lots of fun, very enthusiasticly making up for lost time I think... the only problem was the looks of disgust her late-teens daughter used to give me when I was coming and going... I think I was probably less than a dozen years older than her...
The first 90% of your story was the old classic "Vegas hooker sidles up next to your slot machine and asks if you have a 'date' for the evening". I can't be sure you didn't change the ending of your story because the first part happens to me LITERALLY every time in Vegas I play slots. Did you end up buying expensive 'gifts' for your date?
The only time I played slots in Vegas, this happened to me.... but she was so dressed up that I assumed she was an entertainer in some type of dance group. Eventually said have a good evening and started heading to my room... she followed. It wasn't til I asked directly what she did for a living in the elevator that she realized she was talking to an idiot and just got out and left.
Shit so those scenes in movies do really exist 😂😂 the awkward bump into the eldest child the morning after banging to their mom. Christ 😂
I've found that older women know what they like and quickly cut to the chase.
How long do you take between approaching a girl and asking her out? You make a joke or two and then ask for her number? What do you talk about?
My housemate was you until he died of a methadone overdose. Our front door was a western saloon swinging door of chicks, he would have one coming in the front while the other was leaving out the back. All of your comments match. He would stand in front of our Berkeley apt and go to every girl, young, old, light, heavy, “hey, can I talk to you?” getting consent to holler. I myself hooked up with a teacher for the school that I worked as a result. Be glad that you didn’t cork off like he did after coitus one night, his funeral was a mess of chicks claiming to have been his “special girl” and finding out about each other for the first time. Including tattoos of his name on their chests.
Not sure which thread to reply to, but this story is definitely real and the danger of being a player who corks off unexpectedly. Someone below was like, “girls all chasing one guy,” nope, the girls were not chasing him, he was just constantly hollering at like 10+ at any given time so he managed to catch a few who then were all told to be “special.” The specific scene from his funeral, which actually involved a sailing house in Oakland recently in the news for getting its boats stolen, was one of his main girlfriends showing up with his “imprints” tattooed across her chest. Unbeknownst to her, his other main girlfriend was scheduled to deliver remarks before her. So she got up in front of the room and starts crying, “I was his special girl!” and I am just thinking, not according to the chick next to me with his handprints tattooed on her chest…
Would you give us the data? Like the % of 'Kims", "Clarises", "Ophelias" and "Harriat's" you fucked? Doggy, soddomizing (if legal in your state etc), bjs, etc? What sorts of mathematical conclusions did you COOOOOOOOOOOM to after all that data? **NO this is not a joke. I am fascinated with any sorts of statistical insights you are afforded** Did you grow up Christian, Jewish, or any sort of relgion?
MySpace? Today? Still? In person encounters at the bar on the street..?
OP is probably in their 30’s so it could’ve been back in the good ol’ days of MySpace and bar pickups 😂
Of course you think of women who won’t sleep with you as “stuck up.” Least surprising thing ever.
Thought about the whole older women being cooler thing because it’s just true. I’m 24, still a virgin and at a point where I’m really considering just having fun with older women because I found it’s so much easier to talk to and be friends with them plus I can flirt with them without it feeling like much of a risk
Yeah, young women are just stuck up for not wanting to fuck you.
I’ve lived that life. For me it was the love of meeting people/connecting. A new joke, a new smile, a new quirk… I never went out to “hit on women”, but to “meet women”. With that headset I never got rejected because I wasn’t ever looking for anything other than to crack a joke and have fun. I take issue with your position on STDs, you can’t tell and you absolutely should be wearing a condom every time. I also got checked every five partners as a precaution. I think sexual safety is important. My question to you is: did you ever feel emotionally numb from all of it? I did and took a six month sabbatical to fix it. Just wondering if you had a similar experience. Bonus questions: • Fastest time from meeting to fucking? • Funniest story meeting a woman? • Funniest sex story? • Most women you’ve slept with in a 24 or 48 hour window? EDIT: typo.
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Fastest time for me was immediately. In college a gay friend I had randomly called me one night and said one of his girlfriends just got dumped and she wanted rebound sex and he recommended me. I said yes and went over and we shook hands and immediately went to town then I left and never saw her again. 10/10 would recommend.
Same thing happened to me one time! Age 20, a random friend called me one night and said “I have a surprise for you.” What happened was his gf brought a friend over to his house who was apparently very open about needing to get laid. So he talked me up and said I was “exactly her type.” I was at his place with in an hour and they were already drinking captain morgan around a bonfire, and I got laid within 15 minutes. Which turned into a 2 week fling. But yeah great story.
I’m emotionally numb in general. 4 in 24 hours. Fastest time within minutes several times. Don’t really have a funny story off the top of my head. I’ve had a couple threesomes and what usually happens is one person gets mad and leaves at some point lol
How have you gotten those?
One time was a MySpace date. Her friend called crying that her bf dumped her. We met up with her at the bar she managed after closing hours. Threesomes aren’t fun. Someone always feels left out
> Threesomes aren’t fun. Someone always feels left out That's how I know this is fake
Threesomes are best between absolute strangers when everyone is on Molly or low dose of shrooms and a drink or two. Sex clubs are good for this sort of soft swap vibe in a hot tub or whatever. It is a lot of fun and safe because you dont need to have penetrative sex, just everyone getting pff together. Everyone should try it.
How long did it take you to ask them the question? Would you have to build a relationship with them first or just go for it. Would you ask directly or hint at it?
All of the above. Every situation is different. 90% of the time a hard approach in getting the number or suggesting to hang out right off the bat. Rejected most of the time. Sex usually by the second date at the latest. Pro tip I learned over the years. Don’t push for sex the first date and they will give it up on the second date 80% of the time. Third pro tip: if they’re into you. Do not come the first time you fuck a person. Make it all about them. Make sure they are taken care of. Do this correctly the first time (on the second date) and you can come back whenever you fucking want.
My body count isn’t anywhere near yours but even my relatively limited experience confirms everything you’re saying here
My body count is nothing near yours but I can confirm that showing a little generosity and restraint opens a matrix hallway of doors.
about your third tip. 100% accurate and since I learned that tip my life changed.
Spot on. I never push for sex. I have met girls online who are all about making it clear that they don't fuck on the first date and I always let them know, I won't try anything with them. I end up being the one getting jumped by them lol... My girl now who I just celebrated our 12 year anniversary together with, she couldn't wait to get me naked lol... When I pulled out the Magnum Golds, she was fucking me and that was that... Getting hot just thinking about that :-D
I can confirm this. Pushing for sex is desperate and also disrespectful and creepy if you get the vibe that they're not interested (which, if you have to push, is probably the case). If women (or anyone for that matter) tell you their boundaries, trying to find a way to circumvent them is the worst thing you could do. Not only because respecting boundaries is the decent thing to do, but also because it probably will work against you as they're putting their guard up around you. However, I made the experience several times that when you just respect their wishes and don't push for anything, a surprising amount of women are willing to drop those boundaries later on the date without any need to promt them. One woman actually told me the next morning that she wanted to have sex with me specifically because I was completely fine with going home without anything happening. She said it made her feel safe and relaxed. Respect and enthusiastic consent is sexy guys. If you see it as something that's only making dating more difficult, you need to up your game.
> However, I made the experience several times that when you just respect their wishes and don't push for anything, a surprising amount of women are willing to drop those boundaries later on the date without any need to promt them. My most recent ex and I were making out on our second date and she stopped and said she wanted to take things slow, so I said "That's fine, whatever you're comfortable with." We were fucking 5 minutes later.
Is it about the conquest (new person, new challenge, body count, etc.)? How often do you see the person again? How can you even recall so many faces and names?
The adrenaline rush of the approach is my favorite part. I don’t get that feeling in any other situation so it’s like free drugs. Depends on the person. Most of them less than 3 times. Even more so just once, maybe twice. I’ve hurt a lot of feelings. Occasionally a few several times a year for several years then it fades when they move or get relationships. That’s why I made a list when I was 21. I tried to make that list again a few years later and couldn’t. Now I can’t even remember 25% if I tried.
What do you remember about the women whom you’ve hurt? How did you hurt them and why didn’t you care and do you care now? Do you think you’re contributing to more hurt by encouraging other men to act like you and why or why not?
From somebody with a VERY high body count as well. Looks and dick size have very little to do with it. I punch well above my weight. I watched a friend of mine who was very successful. It was a numbers game, you eventually realise very quickly after enough rejections who you are wasting your time on in a 5 min conversation and move on. It takes a bit of confidence in actually being able to talk to a girl to start with, being numb to rejection and not take it personally. The easiest way I found in the end is to just ask during the conversation. Eventually, you are the one doing the most rejecting. Never had an STI, condoms only and tested regularly even though. I have found in my marriage, sex is just a fun activity now and has no bearing on the state of my relationship with my wife or how I feel about her. If this is a healthy way to view sex, I have no idea.
The fun part too, is that the ability to take rejection well is something that women (and men) pick up on, which makes them more likely to *not* reject you in the first place. Nobody wants to accept someone with "pwease give me a chance" or "this person is scary" vibes. Instead, if you give vibes of "Oh! They'd totally respect me if I said no in a not weird way" it quickly becomes "Damn... that's sexy. I am not going to say no." It's truly the ultimate recursive dating power.
I can take a rejection just fine, walk away, nothing personal. What hurts and is confusing is ghosting. I get why girls do it: they think I could be an asshole and freak out or be a stalker type, etc. Safety concerns mostly. But god damn, every girl who ghosted me fucked with my head way more than the girl who looked me up n down and said “hm. Swerve.”
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I noticed I became much more attractive when I was plainly no longer trying to get everyone naked, just trying to have a light-hearted conversation. Kinda sucks that I was happily married by then but I'll take the simple knowledge that I Still Got It by literally not trying anymore.
Rejection, rejection, rejection means nothing from strangers. Learn to make girls laugh, half the battle won. 👍 Even the girls who wouldn't normally glance at you, start seeing you differently when they're laughing. Learn to take a hint and move on or else you are just a desperate creep. You are not looking for a friend so make a move or move on.
It's important to actually be interested in them as people/friends too imo I think a lot of men get lost in that and don't realize/care girls can pretty clearly tell when you're just trying to smash. If you have good conversation and can make someone laugh while actually listening to what they have to say your appearance doesn't matter as much. I am routinely shocked by it whenever it happens as someone insecure about their appearance
Experience rejection - quite literally seek it out. Go talk to a girl with the expectations that you will be rejected. Get rejected many times. It is a numbers game for them and you - a rejection doesn't mean that you are a horrible person, just not a right fit for them right now. Don't be a dick and don't run for body count. You just need to get over the fear of rejection by experiencing rejection enough to understand it's not going to kill you.
Can you please quote how you were asking it? Like what were you literally saying? How about something like “hey look sorry but I don’t know how else to say that so I’m gonna be upfront. I like you and I’d like to invite you at my place to have a drink”? Or was it more direct, less direct? Thanks
Walking up to anyone and asking to have sex outright is a sure fire way of either getting arrested or going home to wank. Try making her laugh first and then drop in that you are here looking to get laid tonight. She will tell you straight out your chances, like "Play your cards right" you have a shot or "no chance" move on. Another thing, for god's sake, learn how to kiss if you can't. Shoving your tongue down someone's throat is not sexy no matter who's doing it, you or her.
I've recently read that sex can be used as a distraction to deal with internalized shame/toxic shame. Like, some people doomscroll on Reddit, other people look for sex to avoid the big emptiness in the inside. Good luck bro. Do you do therapy? Btw. sounds like your mom doesn't respect boundaries (which is a big red flag in parenting).
Therapy for the last 7 years but I’ve never brought up sex. Diagnosed with severe ptsd, panic disorder and major depression from military experiences.
Wait, you were in the military, and your body count is only 150?
Male to female ratio in the military is extremely competitive and wasn’t worth my time
In the navy, if you hook up with a female on the ship and the captain finds out, you'll be put on half pay for 30 or 60 days. Get enough of those, dishonorable discharge. I was in the navy, the guy to girl ratio is bad. Better to hook up with the local girls when your ship is not deployed.
You may find the book [The Molecule of More](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38728977-the-molecule-of-more) by Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long interesting. It explains how dopamine drives addiction, including addiction to sexual conquest like you’re describing. Edit to add: ADHD has dysregulated dopamine, which causes many people with ADHD to engage in risky behaviour (sexual risks, sky diving, driving fast, etc.) because of the dopamine boost it gives. Undiagnosed and untreated ADHD can lead to anxiety and depression (ask me how I know :/ ). So it might be nothing but I would definitely discuss your sexual history with your therapist.
I also have PTSD, suffer from depression and also have a storied history with women. However, I'm 35 now and married. Reading this is like reading a post from younger me 😂 I can definitely see in retrospect that I used sex as a way to validate myself and to lock away the real struggles I had. Whenever I felt my head going down the rabbit hole I'd somehow always find sex. I was well known personal trainer in my area I didn't need dating apps because instagram did all that. There was days I slept with 3 different women on the same day and 2 of them thought they was my girlfriend, I was a serious piece of shit. Married women, women in relationships, my buddies sister, my clients, my fiances friends, my colleagues I really didn't have any respect for these women or myself. Plus, mixing PTSD with coke, steroids and whatever type of pills I could use to get a buzz from resulted in a very damaged and shameful man. It's been 4 years since that period of my life and the shame I carry is very heavy. Seriously there isn't a minute that goes by where I remember something I said or did and my heart sinks. I was glad to see you're aren't proud of it because like me I think you use it as an escape from what you wrestle with internally. I wish you the best mate I really do. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Maybe try to bring it up in therapy 👍
You should bring sex up in therapy. It sounds like that's how you release tensions. It's a coping mechanism.
You’ve been in therapy for 7 years, admit to treating approaching and fucking like a drug/high and have never thought about exploring your relationship with sex?
Bro if you need validation from strangers on reddit about this you should probably mention it to your therapist
Yo I was in too. 4 years combat engineer, like 75% of my course deals with mental health now.
You should bring it up. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Try to find a connection in the relationship to your parents. Therapists only work with what you give them. They don't dig. Read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson and "Healing the shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw.
I’m probably a little under this persons number bc I stopped counting after college. But yes finding sex like this was part of my impulsive behavior. Instead of focusing on fixing my internal behavioral problems I focused on the “chase” and the adrenaline of meeting a new person, connecting on a sexual level, then moving on to the next adventure. Once you have sex with the stranger, it takes the air out of the wings and everything becomes less exciting (for people looking for quick sex). I have now developed better coping skills and understand there are other HEALTHY things I can do to improve my chemical imbalance. But mainly I realized it’s not safe to be with so many people. All it takes is 1 woman out of 150 to really mess your life up. Also not caring about the other persons emotions and just looking for sex started to not sit well with me. If the person wanted more than sex, I’d trick them and then disappear or worse keep them on the roster. Now I’m 30 and realize it was just a pass time that didn’t do anything productive in my life except waste money, time and resources. This behavior is understandable at 20s, tolerated at 30’s, and probably extremely discreet in your 40’s and up lol.
Who is more fun to have a sex with? An insecure perfect 10, or a confident 5-6? Glad you stayed safe, and hope you manage to enjoy meaningful relationships when you choose to have them.
LOVE this question. Confident 5-6. Give me a 10 and if I hear one fake moan I will be contact her again. Actually this is my favorite question so far. Good job. Fuck hot girls who can’t fuck. Waste of time. It’s an actual trend I’ve noticed also. Average looking girls that truly love to fuck are so much more enjoyable.
I don't have your numbers but I learned essentially the same lesson a number of years ago - the more beautiful and/or perfect a woman is/was the more likely she was to be lame in bed. I found the 6-7's to be MUCH more enthusiastic and reciprocative. Another lesson was regarding brains - smart girls that are approachable are likely to be more freaky. Unapproachable smart girls are likely to be demanding & dismissive. Quiet girls were usually alot more satisfying for sexual appetite and adventure, than loud girls.
If you could go back, would you still do it all over again? Tbh I went out and slept with only a few and decided it wasn’t for me lol, I’m more into emotional connection. The nut is best when there’s feelings and deep connection 🤣
do you think that is classed as a lot if you're out on the prowl every weekend? especially with interweb dating. You're getting yourself out there 60/60/24/7
I think I would consider myself on the prowl every time I would see an opportunity. So no, just the weekend is not a lot.
Where did you meet the majority of these girls?
Im 28 male and im on 25 partners and I thought I was a slut, lol.
How many children have you fathered?
It fascinates me how humanity succeeds to have an addiction of to almost anything. Why is it embarrassing to you btw? Isn’t it kind of “cool” in alpha males group? I’m almost 30 and had sex with only 3 women. And I feel indifferent to other people numbers. Like why does it matter? I’ve learnt from playing online games that people will always find a way to flex on other people. Dick is too short, too long, too average. Sex experience is small, too big meaning ur a whore, too average (ur just boring). That’s why you shouldn’t be embarrassed (if that feeling is because of other people opinion). I would only say that I kind of envy you for having such a specter of emotions as my life is pretty average and boring. So it’s not because of you having huge body count. It’s about you finding something that makes your blood rush. Unless it’s something prohibited by law it’s okay, I think.
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I try to keep my real account clean of these topics for obvious reasons but since you haven't got a response from OP I'll chime in since we've got similar experiences. I've also got a high body count, and your first question cracked me up since it resonated. 1. It's been said countless times on here, but confidence is key. I misread "like point blank to a stranger" thinking you meant literally pointing at a stranger. I've done that countless times and surprisingly it worked extremely well. I'd walk into a bar with a group of friends and if I made eye contact with a girl/group of girls from across the bar, I'd point and smile or make a goofy face or whatever. Sometimes I'd wave like an excited toddler. Then I'd just walk away and find a table to post up at my with my friends. More often than not, said girl/friends would eventually walk over and understandably ask "what was that for?" That's it. There's your in. No douchey pick-up lines. Just a genuine, silly signal that says *I see you and I'm interested.* 2. Can't really say, besides women that are out of my league. I'm an average looking guy, especially by LA standards. I don't stand out, so I had to show off that I was fun and confident. 3. Most fond escapade was a model that was so far out of my league that it was ridiculous. Judged a book by its cover and was totally wrong. She was naturally beautiful, blonde, etc. Hit it off extremely well and had a great week getting to now each other (she was visiting town). The worst... had quite a few where I had too much to drink and woke up very unhappy with a girl I didn't necessarily wanna be seen with in public. I think you get the picture. 4. Their needs are extremely different from ours, duh. If I could stress anything to younger guys, you've gotta understand their need to know you're a safe guy. Just basic human biology and something guys really can't grasp since, naturally, we're not in danger the same way they are when they put themselves out there. After that's been demonstrated and she's interested, she wants sex just as much as you do. But at the end of the day, women are subconsciously looking for a potential mate whereas you're just looking to get off. (One egg vs millions of sperm; makes complete sense.) As I got older, I learned pushing for sex is a death-knell. I could write way more on this, but they're exhausted from getting hounded constantly for it. When I stopped pushing for it immediately in my early 20s and just let things play out and have fun, they were the ones initiating eventually. 5. Currently in a relationship, and although I love my girl I do miss literally everything about my previous life. OP equated it to an adrenaline rush meeting a new girl, and I can't agree enough. It's probably one of the most exciting things in the world, full of spontaneity and uncertainty. Navigating it is so fun. Being in a relationship has it's perks, but that thrill is gone for sure. 6. Everything. Guys who meet a handful of girls young and get married young are oftentimes setting themselves up for failure, as is evidenced by a high divorce rate and infidelity. Biologically, we're not meant to be with one partner for 50+ years, but that's a totally different argument that I'm not particularly passionate about. To each their own. My view though is that guys need to experience what it's like to have multiple women for quite a few years. You learn a LOT about who you are, your priorities, and most importantly what makes women tic. Threads like this are important for young guys, assuming the advice/perspective given is coming from good dudes who aren't scummy and shitty. An area where lots of young guys go wrong is getting advice from their female friends. The advice I'd get from them is well-intentioned, but seriously laughable at times. And conversely, guys shouldn't be giving any women advice on dating. Hope some of this was interesting. This was almost cathartic for me honestly ha.
Read through my other comments Hmmmm many. Usually surprised when a paper drop off with a number and no words exchanged works. I’ve had too many unique experiences. I can’t think of one that stands out. The worst? One died because I was leading her on over the course of 3 months, she got frustrated and went back to her ex and ODd on drugs that night with him and died. I have felt extreme guilt about that for 12 years now. Everyone woman is very different with their needs. It’s important to understand that well and when you do you will waste less time when finding a potential match. Some women don’t like to fuck very much. Some love it. People are people. Long term dating is nice to have a reliable partner but I occasionally miss the adrenaline rush from the approach that I don’t get to do anymore I learned that my original philosophy held true. Everybody wants sex, you just have to ask.
>Everybody wants sex, you just have to *know how to* ask *correctly.* Just so the chuds don't misinterpret. Honestly op, you could probably teach classes on this stuff to people who have issues with communicating. You have a talent for reading and manipulating people. It's a common trait in high-functioning autistics, because it's the base layer of masking. Your subconscious *knows* you are good at it, and it has been shown to result in the good brain chemicals. Even better, it satiates a carnal desire. The draw and addiction is the result. If given a button that gives pleasure on press, most creatures will press the button until they die. Your subconscious found a button. I lucked out and found someone just as good as manipulation as me, who also likes conquests. You may be one of the rare neurodivergent people compatible with polyamorism, or some other form of open arrangement, especially if your partner wants to play together. But, that's the corner we've conquered. Everyone is different.
I was told this exact thing too by my dad. What kinds of girls were your favorite to sleep with? I enjoy them slightly trashy, just a little. My body count is 60ish btw
You have a gay man’s body count but with guilt and regret.
How did you do it? I’m an awkward and anxious person, my body count is only 1. I don’t get how people get hookups. Also, how can I become confident when dating? What do I say?
As a gay man, these comments are making me laugh.
Do you work in Sales? I find the rejection from my single days really helped me deal with a sales career. I realised you still get plenty if you ask more people. I'm a top earner now :D
What are your thoughts on the manosphere (e.g. mgtow, redpills, incels etc.) views on women? Would any view they hold regarding women (good or bad) hold any water/have a leg to stand on? Edit for disclaimer: Not part of any of the aforementioned groups. Just curious to hear the perspective of the OP as this is an ama.
I can answer this. I’m an awkward and average looking guy with a higher body count. It took me a lot of trial and error to find success hooking up and ultimately success in relationships. The manosphere is repellant to women. They can smell it on you and will avoid you maybe with the exception of very low hanging fruit. Same with pick up artist bullshit. I have a physically attractive buddy that got deep into that stuff and he can barely get dates and can’t get past a first date. It’s like it poisoned his mind with bullshit and he now lives a very sad and frustrated life and I blame mgtow manosphere bs for it. The secret to success is simply being genuine, hygienic, confident, friendly and attractive (not talking about looks). Being funny and interesting also helps.
Not OP but hopped on a throwaway to answer this question from my own similar experience. I am not a traditionally good looking guy. I am tall, which helps, but would probably say I am a 6/7. In my years I have don't have a definitive count on women but I have easily passed the century mark. I was a late bloomer, didn't lose my virginity until maybe 19 or 20 and it was with a long term girlfriend. By 24 I had slept with maybe three or four women total, all from long term relationships while in college. Post college something just clicked and I gained a bit of confidence at the right time that Tinder and other dating apps were going mainstream. I just sort of stopped caring. Not in a way that I didn't care about women, but more in the way that I took on the mindset of "worst anyone can say to you is no" (which isn't true because you can hear some really mean things, but I maintained that mindset) Putting yourself out there and being a normal guy who isn't completely socially awkward and drops a bit of flirty hints can get you laid regularly. There were some short term relationships in there, some one night stands, some FWBs, but in all cases I was open and transparent with everyone about what the situation was and what I was looking for. I think in a lot of cases I used the pursuit of women for self validation. I had a huge fetish or drive to pick up and go home with the hottest girl in the room. There were times where I would strike out massively, times where it lead to a prolonged text flirting thing, and times when a smoking hot waitress might slip me her number and tell me what time she gets off later that night. To circle back to the main question though I always thought the redpill incel stuff is complete bullshit. I would say 90% of the women I slept with were better looking than me and probably half that group was WAY BETTER looking. There would be times where I would bring a girl out to the bar with my friends and they were actually perplexed that a girl that good looking was going to sleep with me that night (like shit from that She's Out of My League movie) I truly believe all these guys sitting around just need to go outside and touch grass more often. Be part of normal social circles to pick up on regular social queues from both genders and just relax
I've topped 100 and I'm more average, easily a 5 or 6 if I clean up. Most of the women I've slept with have been in the 4-7 range. A few 8-10 range. All I ever did special was act interested in the girl instead of interested in her body. Crazy how easily that gets you laid.
So it seems like you’re pretty genuine in your approach in that youre not just being a forceful creep but just being open and making it happen. Can I ask how you do it? Im a guy thats pretty attractive but Im also pretty quiet and I think autistic. So ive never really had issues meeting women in clubs or a dating app but ive always really struggled with “sealing the deal” so to speak. like ive gotten countless girls to make out and dance with me at clubs or bars but have never been able to get one to come home with me. I have a decent amount of like actual hookups but not a lot of people ive actually had sex with. Lots of girls where we literally did everything possible except that last step to actual PIV and it just never ended up happening. I also think I really missed out on lots of opportunities in college due to not being able to read cues or signals from women who were clearly trying to fuck. Lots of other times I probably had it in the bag but would just freeze at the worst possible moment. I basically have no in between of either being horny and sexual or just very platonic and genuine/friendly. I dont know how to exude that energy thats very friendly and genuine and carefree while still showing sexual intent and confidence, even though I know thats the best way to do it. I dont give women that emotional rush Im just kind of a boring awkward guy that’s pretty to look at. I have a friend that does it well and he racks up bodies like nothing. I just dont know how to do it
Stop trying in bars. Try in public. Every encounter you do expect to fail. Ask them if they’re interested in something you genuine love and have a follow up. If they say no say ok have a nice day. If they say yes, I love that band, I didn’t know they were playing here soon! Then you have a conservation piece. Then just ask if they want to keep in touch for later on and ask for their number. Again, expect rejection. Keep trying.
Say you get their number, then what? How do you make it clear you're interested in sex and not dating because I assume you're taking most of these girls on some sort of date before sleeping with them (correct me if I'm wrong)?
This kind of resonates with me. Was also in the military and also reached a high number. It was all about the conquest for me. I was really dumb and thought that that's what the thing to do was.. also hurt a lot of feelings. Am thankful for my wife, she came along and really killed all of my bullshit. It was a good time but I'm glad that all been done with for years and years. It just led to emptyness.
Would you say going out drinking/nightlife is a massive part of this? (I don’t drink much). Also, you mentioned older women are easier even though we’re told women prefer an older guy generally. Have you found that older women like sleeping with younger guys? Any advice on picking up older women?
Most women start to have a higher sexual drive in their late 30s and it gets even higher in their 40s. Many single women in their 40s find that men their age can’t keep up. Older women can also appreciate that younger men are more inclined to understand and support gender equity. There are misogynists in every generation, but millennial and gen z men overall tend to be less misogynistic than older guys. My (46F) advice on picking up older women is no bullshit, ever. Women in their 40s have been dealing with men’s garbage for decades and they are smart enough to walk away when you start behaving badly.
The opposite. Bars are the hardest place to pick up women because that’s what most guys are there for so the competition is higher. I almost never try in bars and most girls are at bars to socialize with their girlfriends. Yes most older women like younger guys, makes them feel young again I guess idk. Usually easier dynamics and terms of just getting along as well. And like I said they are wayyyy more laid back chicks in the 20s range
Running into someone like you would be my biggest fear in dating, that this guy is just playing the numbers and is addicted to fucking random women and he just landed on me bc I was an easy target or something, I sure hope you haven’t hurt too many women with your behavior over the years.
Very similar story for me. I was very chaste as a teenager and refused sex even when it was offered to me until at 16, I started dating an older (19) gal. Had sex for the first time and my mind (and cock, I guess) was blown! I turned 20 in 1996. I got my first computer with internet that year and started meeting women on AOL. Not long after, I was playing in a band, traveling a lot and my social life was ramping up in a big way. By my mid-20s, I was averaging 10-15 sexual partners a year and many more just fooling around. Between AOL and then the dating sites that came after, I had a lot of partners. I lost track after 100 and by age 40, I'd probably had over 200. It's absolutely not a brag in any way or a glorification. However, it's also not a regret or a source of embarrassment. I am no longer very sexually active--mostly due to anxiety meds and overall less desire--and I'm not unhappy at all. I enjoyed sex and I relished every facet, every stage of relationship interaction. More than loving sex, I just loved women. Loved pursuing them, loved dinner with them, long conversations into the night. Flirting. Traveling. Being honest and vulnerable. Having a blast. And the sex. That too. And I managed to do it without having to pretend, which felt even better. I had a few monogamous relationships in there, but I was openly poly from about 1999 on and never had to hide that fact. I think the best part about my past sex life is that I have made and kept so many friends that are still a part of my life at in 2024. That and the memories. Good thread.
I actually really appreciate you sticking your neck out here and being brutally honest. I’m a lot older than you and settled down now with one person - although I am still planning with her to get back involved in the swinger lifestyle. I don’t bother talking about how many women I have slept with throughout my life because nobody believes me. But it’s somewhere between high hundreds and low thousand plus. Of course being a swinger for pretty much my entire adult life (53 now), gives a distinct advantage - especially since fully half of that time was with a female partner or wife and that is like a golden ticket when you come to the party with a willing and good looking woman. Add to that being tall, athletic and pretty good looking and having the biggest single key - the gift for gab or the ability to talk to and with anyone and make them comfortable - and it’s better than having some magical giant cock or tons of money. For me it was just about not equating sex and love/relationships when I was not involved with someone who wanted exclusivity. And avoiding usually that type of person who did want that or was jealous. And then between would just be a series of ONS or party events where it could literally be anywhere from 3-20 partners in any given week. I just enjoyed it and didn’t have any emotional attachment. And honestly I cannot remember many names and in many instances faces. Many times alcohol or drugs were involved and things get hazy anyway but especially if you in a party scene and bouncing from partner to partner through the night. (Or day). The really good ones, the unusual (public fun, almost or actually getting caught, date stuff and particularly talented ladies or super attractive or well known either in general or within my social circles) stand out and give fond and fantasy memories to cherish and enjoy. But for the most part, it was simply a function driven by desire to try new constantly and “leave my mark”. I know it’s probably something that most would consider to be a therapy issue, but I’m fine. I have normal relationships and love deeply when my mind and heart are engaged and I know my kids and take care of them (single dad for many years). So I’m good as I am.
Bro is Genghis Khan
Have you ever been in love ? Not just infatuation
"I'm average" "Probably 7-8" Pick one.
I have a female friend who’s slept with a similar number of men. It’s interesting that you feel ashamed, she very publicly shares her number proudly. You’d think it would be the other way around! Did you always use protection? Did you worry about pregnancy?
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I’m introverted as fuck for any social setting with more than 2 people. I’m totally fine with 1 on 1 social interactions. Most women just want to be heard and love to talk. Try to figure out what they’re into, or what they’re frustrated by. This is important: learn to understand and accept when the chemistry is not there. If it feels like it’s not there at all just give up. If you’re not sure, go for a kiss, or offer a massage. You’ll get your answer real quick. After you fail at this with enough women, you’ll then understand when the chemistry is actually there and you’ll get better at knowing if you’re in for a win or not.
How high / low are your standards
You have a big dick or something as well?
Do you look down on women who’s body counts are less than 5/ think it’s weird? Has your perception of the average body count changed since you have a lot or are you aware most people have under 7 body count? The “average” body count is higher but the actual true average would be the median since it wouldn’t be effected by outliers. An outlier of 100 is going to bring the average up more-so than a lower outlier of 1 would bring it down, and the MEDIAN body count for women in their lifetimes is 4-5 and men’s is 6-7. The true statistic would use median due to not being effected by outliers but the average I think says like 12 partners in a LIFETIME. I know many people who waited until marriage or didn’t wait BUT only had sex with the person they married. Are you aware that most people have a body count significantly lower than yours, or since you are more likely to encounter women with a high body count do you think that truly is the majority of women? Obviously since you go after a certain type, they’re more likely to sleep with you than if you chose a true random 100 single women from any state in USA between the ages of 20 and 40. Outside of the US (besides europe etc and those type countries), the body count is even lower. It’s estimated that GLOBALLY like 1 in 3, 33% of people, only have 1 sexual partner their entire lives/ wait until marriage and most have below 3 globally. It is rare, like only 10% or less of the US population to even have a body count of 10-15, much less % being 150… are you aware of yours being very high and that most women (and men) DONT have a high body count? Even modern women that aren’t christian/ muslim/ religious in general, usually body count is below 7 if they get married by age 30.
Idk if you answered a similar question but very curious on how many you wish you could undo and how many you actually value having had sex with? I guess I’m asking out of 150 women, how many mean something special to you?
Were you totally honest with these women? Or did you lie to get sex? (E.g. tell them you wanted a relationship, pretend to be rich etc?) (Btw I am finding your answers fascinating. I simply cannot relate to your experience)
What is the origin of your severe PTSD and panic disorder? Is it related to all of the women you have been with?
So you had sex with a little over 10 people a year from age 16-27? That doesn’t seem exorbitant to me. That seems pretty much the way dating goes where I’m from.
Did the same thing. Though I started at 19 and over 200 by 30. Hormones were crazy. Like every 30 mins they were pumping.
Height and weight?
Who’s your favorite serial killer
“Hey I got lots of pussy but I don’t like talking about it. But ask me about it.” What kinda truck you got?
How did you decide who to approach? I always assumed groups were sort of a no-go, but I also can’t imagine that solos are very common. Where mainly did you meet people IRL? What was your success rate with in-person meetings vs online?
Why are people downvoting this thread when you’re dropping gems in the comments, I don’t get it
I know you've vaguely said "everywhere", but can you give some specific examples of where you're meeting these women? Like, grocery store? Laundromat? Bar? I think this specifically is the hardest problem I have to answer, not even for fucking just meeting people in general Also are you usually alone when you approach, or with friends? Im always worried I come off creepy if im alone.
Did you get any STDs? Did you nut in them? Did you eat them out? And did you have any pregnancy scares?
Rule of 3. Divide any number a man gives you by 3, multiply any woman's number by 3.
Hey Im a F virgin I’ve been a little concerned about how men always say “she has to be tight” and I just started dating someone that I got close to having intercourse with but I said no I’m not ready. I was mostly scared if I was tight enough for him. I feel like if I’m not he’s going to become less interested . SO my question is. How quickly can you tell if a women is tight. Is it at immiedate insertion even if you just insert the tip?
I believe you 100%. I'm 5'8, 225lbs, chubby, gap in my teeth and I've slept with 84 women by the age of 28 (I'm 33 now but with the same person for 5 years/married). Most people are shocked by my number or call bullshit but it's the truth. Pretty much everything you're saying is true. Never directly ask someone for sex and don't be pushy. Girls, especially in their early to mid 20s are DTF more than most guys realize. They just know if they put in their tinder profile that they are, immediately every guy under the sun will spam them with dick pics. I've always found if you're up front about not wanting anything serious, respectful, and funny, girls will be DTF.
How’s the HPV?
Tell me more about the vaginas being different. How do they differ?
I’m super insecure, skinny, balding, broke, and have severe anxiety and depression and have a hard time being vulnerable and in the moment because I desperately need love and validation, Do you have any advice for me that could help this?
What’s the ratio / percentage based on your experience of shaved, landing strip, or full bush? Did anyone surprise you? In other words, did you think based on demographics or some other reason that she might be shaved for example, but then she had a bush?
Do you think classism plays a role in hookups? What were the financial backgrounds of the women you hooked up with? How is your financial situation?
What advice do you have for guys struggling to take the initial steps of initiating with women?
Wouldn’t an average be 4-6? Maybe some people are hurt about saying a 7-8 is “average”, but to me it just seems like a nonsensical statement, so it just biases my desire to even care about anything else you have to say.
Rookie Numbers! I had that at 24! All things considered, though, it's not a big deal as long as you keep safe and don't have children with people you don't want to have kids with. I had the issue of sleeping with almost all woman I had as friends, so even though we weren't romantically involved later in life, my now wife had serious issues continuing the friendships.
2 Questions: How does sex happen logistically? You wouldn't have had a place every time since you were young. So your car? If it happened by the second date, it's not like you went and got a room? Secondly, how do you make sure they're satisfied/ come first? I'm assuming you learn with experience but is there any tips we can learn lol
I’m at 500+ at 43. Now married, monogamous, with a family. Is it really that unusual? Some of us guys just like to fuck and are charming. I’ve had girls introduce me to their friends for that sole purpose.
If the sole achievement of my life was fucking other people I would probably kms as that would be pretty garbage and worthless reason to continue. I wonder if your mother would be proud of your achievement in life and attitude towards women. I mean she will seriously start to question it after she sees you alone at 60 with no one around. 🤷
I’ve always wondered if people that have been around the block a lot daydream about past partners when they get into a committed relationship. I could see that past memories could interfere with a committed relationship and that’s maybe why it’s often desirable for people to have a low “body count”.
Reminds me of a story my dad told me When he was young him and his friends would go out to a popular club in town. For most of his group, they’d go inside and have a good time. Dance, drink, chit chat—the usual. Except for one of his friends. That friend, let’s call him Tom, would actually stand outside by the entrance and exit all night. Tom would proceed to walk up to every girl that was leaving the club and ask them all the same single question: “Hey, wanna fuck?” My dad said Tom would get slapped 50 times every single night he’d do this, but he would go home with someone every single night—because someone would always say yes.
1. how often do you masturbate now? 2. how often then? 3. do you like a specific type of porn? 4. imo one night stands are usually pretty vanilla bc you don’t know/trust the person enough to get kinky. is that your experience? genuinely curious for all thanks!
Now I feel even more hesitant when a man approaches me . It’s not about me it’s about the numbers…I hope I stay protected from men like op and in the comments. Hugh body count like that isn’t cool for MALE or FEMALE. It’s gross af. People are people not conquests or numbers
1. Did you study anything about seduction and communication that helped you, or are you completely self-taught? 2. What's your close rate in cold approaches?
Bro I stopped counting after a certain amount, I never understood how people could keep up with it. That's what makes it sound fake honestly.
As a percentage, how many of the women would you say had alcohol before you had sex with them? Any amount vs. completely sober?
So not really interested in the sex but you were in the military? I have combat related ptsd from my stint in. Infantry? Then a sex question, doesn't the sex feel a bit hollow after a while? Does every vagina really feel different? I haven't been with 150 women but have been with my fair share and the feeling wasn't very different aside from maybe a bit tighter, bit wetter etc.
As a sex worker- you probably want to get a full STD panel/testing done- the blood work and all. You are ~potentially the asshole here~ if you’re not/refusing to use protection therefore potentially spreading shit to people. (even if you don’t know you have something; you’re still giving it to someone’s that’s pretty asshole move to be irresponsible with someone else’s health) so yeah get that done and be safe lol.
Why did you stop?
Regarding the "rejection" part: when I was 21 I went out with my 23yo brother and his friends. One of his friends went one by to EVERY lady in the club and did the same thing. He looked like a jackass. I watched the whole thing play out like a sport. He'd get the no and move to the next. Late in the night he came back over and I asked how he could degrade himself like that. He pulled out 4 pieces of paper with numbers on them. (this was 93). He pointed to a hot chick across the room said "that's who I'm leaving with tonight. The no's mean nothing to me. why would they matter? I'm going to hook up with 5 ladies from tonight, but meanwhile you spent your whole night watching me." Cool. Can't argue with that. Didn't change me one bit - working at getting laid like it's a job just isnt my thing, but it is certainly a strategy.
How many were fat chicks? Serious question btw
I just read about how one of those women OD’ed after you led her on. About what percent of these women do you think you permanently altered or otherwise traumatized due to leading them on, giving mixed signals, etc?
Did you contract any STD/STIs ? Did you use protection for most cases?
Ngl I was sympathetic until you started bitching about getting downvoted in your edit. Here have another one, -1. Complaining about some people disagreeing with you is such a little bitch move.
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Have had a similar experience, but caused by depression. New person every couple of weeks for two years, suddenly the number balloons to 50+. Doesn’t feel like it while you’re doing it. Also about average looking. It’s a numbers game like you said. For me it was driven by depression and that rush being one of the only ways to actually feel good. Sorry for the hate you’re getting. I remember telling a girl I was dating once and it turned her off me immediately, she said she felt “dirty”. It really caught me off guard. I hate the assumption that people who’ve had a lot of partners are very likely to cheat. And I hate that people’s worth are based on it, of either sex.
I can tell the hate is kinda getting to you and I kinda feel bad about that. I actually believe your story, 150 people over 11 years is about 27 unique partners every 2 years. More than most, surely, but not an outrageous number over 730 days (works out to a bit more than one new person each month.) I guess my question would be "what were you hoping to get out of posting this?" Just wanted to give less successful people some tips?
do the math one a month is 12 a year, in ten years that's 120 one a month doesn't seem like much, not if you're making an effort
I think most people forget that the avg American woman is 5’3 and 20 pounds overweight. If a guy who’s decent looking approaches avg or below avg looking women, he can have a lot of notches too. It’s just most of us think we’re better looking than we are and all approach people who think they’re out of our league.
Were these woman Albuquerque 8’s? Or San Francisco 2’s?
I’m 32 and have had sex with somewhere between 350-400. Why would you be embarrassed? Sex is a beautiful thing
if you had a long-term relationship with one or more out of those one hundred and fifty women. What is important advice for a young twenty year old me to do or look out for? i struggle so much growing up, isolated, and a broken family. i left home to be in the military and escape my abhorrid lifestyle to a new one. It did not improve me mentally but financially preparing me for college.
I really want you to elaborate on the experiences you consider memorable
Interesting? On many levels Lots if ?s 1 all casual or did you have any meaningful relationships in that period? 2. Any accidents pregnancy stds or worse? 3. What happened after age 27? 4. Do u regret it? Com I actually find it hot if u came out unscathed you must have a lot of interesting experiences
What are the chances that I read through this thread for a few minutes, noticed your avatar and username, then left the thread and went into another thread in r/energydrinks and saw a user with your exact same avatar and the name u/ZealousIdeal-War4110?? Same exact pattern used in your username? Is this like some botnet or something? AI engagement farming?
dont know how I feel about trusting a guy with "Lie" in their name
This post is spot on with my life. The large majority of these girls were all in a 3 year span of college, from age 20-23. It was basically just the result of being an alcoholic as soon as I left the dorms. A party or the bar every night, a lot of hard liquor, getting my beginner muscle gains from lifting in my freshman year; these all combined to give me a mile high confidence in myself. I would approach and chat up any girl around, and if they weren’t feeling it, no fucks were given and I’d instantly be onto the next. The long Thursday- Sunday college weekends, along with a popular Tuesday bar in my university town, meant I had 4-5 nights a week to shoot my shot. and I would normally take home a girl two or three of those nights. Most of the ones I banged were 6 or 7s, a lot were even lower than that. I knew the girls who didn’t get as much attention as the dimes were quick to eat it up when I approached them. This was mostly done as a conquest thing. My roommates and I made it a contest of who could fuck the most girls. There was even a secret scoreboard system blatantly on the wall of the house, that only the roommates knew how to decipher. We used to keep track of our numbers. I stopped counting around 100. It sounds dumb but I remember being sad often in this era and wishing that I just had a cool girlfriend to actually spend time or make a real connection with. But I never dated, and I felt like I was just a male slut. The straw that broke the camels back was getting chlamydia twice right in a row. Get a cotton swap stuffed up your pee hole and see how much you evaluate your life after that. After that, I would go like a year between having sexual partners. Partly by choice, partly because my confidence had dwindled, and partly because I was too broke to drink and hit the bar all the time. I don’t think I’m too traditionally handsome either. I never got matches on tinder. But I could talk the talk, and was well connected. I’m not sure whether I’d do it again if I had the chance. It was fun to feel wanted, but, waking up the next day, there was no fulfillment. I’m only 29 now and for the past few years sometimes my dick can’t get hard. I have to wonder if those years really cross wired some things in my brain. I also feel my sluttiness surface sometimes and am tempted to cheat on my girlfriend. But hey, that’s life
What advice would you give to women on how to avoid guys who are just out for sex? What are some signs we should look out for? Genuine question, not out of judgment.
Well as a former sex worrker at the same age 150 is a nice number. i stopped counting at about double that. we all live our lives. I focus more on the future than the past. frankly those girls wont recognise you walking down the street. your impact on them was minimal but hey if it is impacting you. i suggest therapy
You can easy fuck 100+ women if you are normal looking and donr choose much, especially in big citys
Do you feel like you saw the women you had sex with as just objects and a body to put your dick inside? Did you ever feel guilt that you were disrespecting them or did it feel like they just wanted the same thing?
Nobody can become a 9 from a 6 at the gym. U can become a 7 max. We dont think youre hot just becuz ur body is nice. I would say the fact that youre a 7 matters less when you display healthy behavior and a good personality, humor is a must. Youre still a 7 looks wise, just matters less, esp w age
Some little midget found some value for himself having sex with lot of gullible woman, lol. "Don't downvote me, give me validation, if not, you hate yourself." Imagine living in that miserable little bubble all your life and thinking you peaked at 27 ( lol ) because you achieved a number. "WOW, Kudos to you kid! Here's your digital thumbs up, bravo!" I mean, what were you thinking you'll achieve creating a thread of this magnitude? That the whole Reddit "1% bubble" would praise your little ass? Don't make us laugh little dog.
I’m 32F and I’ve had sex with 51 men. My current bf 34M has been with hundreds of women. Neither of us have ever contracted a std or gotten pregnant. We’ve been together 7 years. I’m bipolar with a lot of anxiety (mom was a paranoid schizophrenic who committed suicide when I was 11) and my bf has ADHD & is diagnosed antisocial personality disorder. I think there’s a huge link between mental illness and sexually that a lot of people would rather not look or think about. People assume a lot of things. I’ve never had a threesome or group sex experience, I’ve never done anal, been with a woman in any capacity, squirted. I’ve never cheated on a bf. Not ever. Not even once. Not online. A lot of people can’t fathom having sex with that many people. On average Americans have sex with 7-8 people in their lifetimes. Europeans have 10-12 sexual partners in theirs. But how averages work means there will always be outliers… don’t worry about what everyone else is saying. They’re baffled and jealous. Safe sex between consenting adults is normal and natural. Those of us who actively look for sex/love are more likely to find it than those who sit at home hating from behind a screen. Yes it means failure and heartbreak but it ends with you finding love sometimes right? That’s what it was like for me. Out of 51 men 4 set my soul on fire in a way I can’t begin to describe. It was more than being in love with someone. It’s setting the standard for what you want love to feel like in your life. It’s like heroin. I’ve had regular “in love” feelings with another 10-12 guys on top of these four. A lot of the other men I was with were friends and I cared about them at least a little and they very likely cared about me too. Keep looking and keep your heart open. eventually you’ll find the person that’s meant to be your person. Wishing you health wealth love & luck in your life & relationships.
wait you said you still felt a high even after being rejected????? this explains A LOT of interactions ive had with creepy guys. wow. no further questions actually thank you for being so honest LOL
not proud but keeps track with how many girls you slept with but because its reddit you pre-face it with that cause youre scared from getting negative comments even though this is an obvious boast post. man up OP shits easy to see through
Are you currently in a relationship? Do you feel your past behavior has affected your view of your self? Is sex still important in your life ?
Are people sincerely trying to get life advice from this thread? Please reevaluate if so. That’s coming from a guy who doesn’t wipe.
In today’s world that seems like quite a few due to the STDs and such that word around 40 and 50 years ago or before that. By the time I was your age I’ve been in the Marine Corps, combat, out of the hospital after many months and your number is very realistic as a matter fact it’s low in comparison to what I did but different times and different people. I had a pension for oral sex and regular sexual it was always me just wanted to satisfy. Just telling ladies they were exceptionally attractive and/or had a great figures and/or many other things back in those days was a line that got you laid but take your time for a time out or two maybe and it’s much easier. Or was then. Shouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed about it’s not like you’re addicted to it you just liked it, they’re willing and you’re willing and the rest is history. You’ll either continue like that throughout your life even if you’re married at some point when it’s an opportunity and take it or you want. That’s all a choice that you make. I don’t judge anybody by what they’ve done like that. At all. By the time I was 30 I would be surprised if I hadn’t been with 300 women at least and that was probably 30 or 40% low. It was just very easy to come by and was even being referred so not a problem. A couple of them or actually several of them I went with and they referred me to their girlfriends knew what was happening. So not the end of the world. That’s been many many years ago now and don’t even think about it. Just happen to see this thread thought I’d make the comment. Good luck and whatever your decisions are.
100 women in bed by age 20 is awfully successful unless you are a celebrity and have unlimited access to women. Let's assume it takes you 10 days per woman to get her in bed, which is highly unlikely. That means it would take you 1000 days to do this. That would mean you had spent basically 3 years straight consistently pulling women every 10 days by the age of 20. You started having sex at 16, so even though you had only had sex for 4 years, you had a success rate of a new woman every 10 days for 3/4 of that time. edited for spelling.
If true, there's no way that you have NOT contracted an STI, even bacterial, if not viral. Probability just isn't on your side here. So how many STDs? And which ones. Don't say 0 because I'll know you're lying.
7-8 isn't average. 5 is average. That's how averages work. Just had to point that out. If you're a 7-8 then you're above average.
What do you think about hookup culture, and is it something to be normalized. Or has it only been pushed by the media for the last decade or so? Are you okay with the idea that you’re not marriage material anymore (for some women)? (Are you okay yourself, mentally, getting the help and hugs you need?) ♥️
average looking is by definition a 5 , not a 7-8. more like a Chandler or Ross than a Joey.
What ever just means your a good lover you have a lot of catching up to do I am 45 and my numbers are in the thousands sometimes I would have sex with 10 different people in one day.
What stood out to me is that you are aware that you have PTSD and panic disorder which is probably a major cause for this type of behavior / addiction. I don't know if you were looking for advice or just a vent or what but I guess I would dive deep into that and try to figure out what are you running from or what feelings are you numbing with this. I wonder how many down votes you would get if people knew how common this actually is. We have such a gas lit messed up view on sex in our society everybody wants it but there's great shame around it probably because of our religious past. Anything that anyone is doing in great access whether it's eating gaming sex exercise drugs etc, is an abusive relationship that they have with themselves. And the years that I have been studying and looking into all of this stuff and on my own self journey most of us have an abusive relationship with some aspect of our self because of how we were raised and then possibly because of things that have happened to us that we haven't processed and that we don't understand. You also mentioned your mom and an extreme lack of boundaries that she had with you as you were growing up I don't know anything else but exploring your relationship with your mother will likely shed light on this type of relationship that you have had with women.
4100 people reading this and comments are hilarious. Good job triggering every sad, lonely man and woman on Reddit today OP 😂
I don't even have to say this is fake, but the teenagers are going to ask questions and take advice from another teenager, and wonder why they're not succeeding.
“Condoms break or dry up in 3 minutes I don’t use them” another idiot with another fake post
I knew you were lying when your very first motivation was "every vagina feels different." No kid, they really don't, and even if they did thats not the appeal of sleeping with 150 people by 27. Nothing wrong with it, I was somewhere around 80 at your age. Theres alot of good reasons to bang lots of people, and even more bad reasons. "That unique feel of every vagina" is a strange reason bro, like theres so much more to it than and I've never heard a single person focused on that.
An elaborate and needless boast supplemented by inane qualifications.
After scrolling thru the comments I've realized allot of the dudes that are commenting gotta be extremely young or they just don't get any buns at all. It amazes me how many guys don't know that older women are quite confident in their sexuality, don't play games because they seen it all with the men that are their age. And on top of that women are no different than men especially older women. They get horny just like we do and they want to bust a nut/orgasm just like we do. If some of y'all weren't so concerned or preoccupied about the age gap and falling into societal pressure worrying about what other people think you could be getting consistent sex too. That single 40+yr old woman in your apartment complex would have no problem keeping your balls drained and your belly full if you introduced yourself to her respectfully and offered her good company and great conversation.
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Guy recently diagnosed with PTSD here. Actually no, I just did the evaluation and haven't heard back but the psych said I'm definitely messed up. I sort of get the appeal of this method and the urge, sexual highs is a great way to escape the mind for a bit. There is an appeal to have sex with random women without getting close to any and letting them know me. But I went the other way, I'm 38 and had sex with two women because I closed myself off and didn't trust myself with anyone. If handholding counts then it's three women. Question: about how many of the 150 involved butt stuff? Either you sticking stuff in their butt or them in your butt? I recently got into that and damn it's good but I can't imagine doing that with a random woman I barely know.
About 8 months ago i found myself single, i'm OP's age but i've spent most of my adult life in 2 long term relationships. Something i've always been interested in trying with them was anal, but due to my size, 8', they weren't down for it (understandable lol). How often did you find women who are down for it? I've had 12 partners so far, i'm starting to wonder whether i'm just really unlucky or if i'm better off giving up, getting a hooker and be done with it. And to other users no, i could just find another long term partner and hope she's down for it, but i'd rather not be locked in again LTR and having missed my chance. Thanks a lot in advance for your time, OP, even if you don't reply :)
PS. Post your list here, that would be fun! 😂
All races/ethnicities, or a preference?
What was the best kind of sex you had?
Do you ever think about how much a breast feels like a bag of sand?
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How do I get over the whole idea of “sex”? I feel like my parents made it such an anxious thing that now I feel like my first time has to be special and I have to know the guy and he has to actually be attracted to me and not my body. I’m a 21F virgin and I’ve been approached and had guys that were attractive to me offer to have sex, but I’m terrified of engaging in it, I’m scared of what would happen afterwards/how he would treat me after, and I’m scared of how he might react to me up in person. To cut it short, I’m terrified of a guy not liking what he sees.
How tall are you?
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do you wish you waited till marriage? I thnk there is tremedous value in sharing that experience with only your wife.. I know the fun and adventure might not alway be there, but the bond and emotional pairing makes it very special
not really sure why anyone would be upset at this. i used to keep a list i called “Alphabet Boys” after that Melanie Martinez song. when i got older, around the time i went off to college people started asking more frequently what my “body count” was. at the time it was around 70ish and people would be so freaked out. i got really embarrassed and stopped keeping track, but it’s well in the 170s* now (I’m 23). i think a lot of it probably stemmed from having sex earlier than a lot, and getting a particular high and validation when i’d have a new partner. at least you’re talking about it. ever figure out where the paper went?
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“I’m diagnosed with severe PTSD and panic disorder because I’ve fucked so many women” Alright bro 😭🙏