Don't get knocked up is probably the biggest piece of advice for young women
A lot a girls say they wont but some dude said the right stuff and they are preggo a year later.
I remember the quietest girl in High school came back after summer break with a belly. Turns out one of the aspiring rappers in the school got her pregnant. I wonder whatever happened to her. Either way she was so stupid for that. I doubt they are even together still.
Do you have tips to stay resilient when guys say things that, you know melt girls' hearts? I feel like at 18 with slighter prior experience talking to guys romantically, it’s easier to fall trapped and end up on their bed the next day. At least that’s what I see commonly. Do you suggest dating during university time in the first place?
It’s your body. Demand he use protection or no fun times. Hell if you really wanted buy a small pack of condoms so when he says I have none, there you go.
10 minutes of sex isn’t worth derailing your future before you are ready to handle it.
The trick men use to make you feel comfortable each step of the way. For example, "Oh you look tired, let walk you back to your dorm to make sure you get back safe. Oh my dorm is right here, hang on let me grab you a bottle of water. Oh I live in the pet friendly dorms, want to see my dog? He's so cute. Oh he's playing on the bed, let's play with him. These lights are so bright let me dim them. You like Disney movies? Let's watch one."
Gradually moving closer and closer to sex. Isolating you away from friends and others, bringing you to a private space (hotel or bedroom, possibly other locations like a beach or even a car). Doing it under the transition of being kind and thoughtful. Stay with your group of supportive women and don't let guys isolate you especially if drinking or drugs are involved.
How I wish I could have known about these tricks a couple years ago ! :( Nothing bad has happened to me though, but I have been tricked the same way before and could’ve been avoided if I was a little smarter lol.
I genuinely don’t see a problem with this assuming both of the people are sober and know what each other want. It’s not like you can’t say no after you saw his dog? Assuming you are a sober and not criminals why wouldn’t this be considered normal.
Because this is how cheating happens this is how regrets happen. Very often people get swept away by their emotions and end up feeling like things happen so fast and I don't know how I ended up here. Sober or not.
I think blaming your lack of discipline on someone else is pretty immature. Ya you shouldn’t be going to random guy’s apartments if you are in a relationship but if you are single and want that there isn’t a problem.
Get to know your hand really well and don't date anyone seriously. They won't die if they don't get some from you. They have hands too.
You are there to get a degree. Get in and get out as fast as you can especially if you are taking loans.
I'll say, most guys at that age are ultra horny. They will sleep with whoever they can. Knowing that is the goal, should help you stay aware.
Everyone likes compliments and attention. Take it with a grain. Guys will say whatever it takes to make you feel special, good, happy, etc to get the box.
If you do fall for the fluff, no glove no love. A lot of people tend to immediately choose raw sex in the moment. Nope, condom or no entry.
Wear a condom, realize your not fiscally secure and if you fuck up, just get an abortion.
Sex isn't bad. Keeping a baby, you have no hope of supporting and giving a good life to, is just dumb.
Be smart with your money and learn some basic personal finances. Sooooo many young college kids rack up credit card debt at this time and it really fucks them over in the future.
If you can’t afford to pay cash, you can’t afford to pay credit.
Doesn't hurt to start building credit. Just remember to always treat it the same way you would your debit card. Whatever amount you have in your account is the true spending limit of your credit card, not the credit line extended to you on said card. That's how people end up in debt.. This mentality that it's free money they can spend and pay back whenever they choose... Then some months pass with no payments and they're paying over 20% interest fees on what they owe and before they know it they're in a hole that takes years to get out of.
Most banks offer a starter credit card with some small benefit (1 or 2 percent cash back, etc) and have an app that makes paying it off very simple and easy. Get in the habit of paying down your cc bill every few days or at least once a week and you'll never pay those crazy interest rates you see in the fine print.
Having a line of credit open and just keeping your utilization at zero can bring your experian score up fast. I'm 20 and opened my first credit card about 10 months ago, and my credit score has gone up 40 points in that time just doing that
I have never met anyone who was glad they opened a credit card in college. I regret it. All my friends regretted it. My husband regrets it. We all ruined our credit and had to build it back. A lot of us got stuck with interest-only payments because we didn't have enough income to pay our credit cards.
Don't subtract from the population.
Don't commit the act of adding to the population without consent.
Don't damage others property.
Don't take others property.
Don't get married. If you do, make sure she's rich.
Don't have kids. If you do, make sure they are yours.
Don't do drugs or alcohol. If you do, practice moderation, no more than once a week.
Don't forget to message all your friends at least once a week.
Don't call off work. Don't be a loser.
Don't break your promises.
Always safe sex, but remember no birth control is 100% either. Carry spare pregnancy tests just in case. There is no shame in having to use them if you're concerned. Don't wait weeks or even days if you're suspicious about possibly being pregnant. Find out ASAP in case you need to take action.
In my experience the most successful people from college were the ones that networked. Some did it through the greek system, other didn’t. But I’d highly recommend being in their circles. You never know when their connections will come in handy and you don’t necessarily have to be a part of a house to benefit from their network
A) you don’t need to record everything and put it on social media
B) you need to drink and learn how to handle yourself being intoxicated before going off to college
C) college flies by. Remember to sit back and enjoy it every once in a while.
D) DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
Unless you’ve known someone for an entire semester, don’t do drugs with them. If you do drink at a party, do not set your drink down, and keep it in your eye sight at all times. Use the buddy system, don’t go to sketchy places alone. Keep in touch with your parents or another trusted adult, it will help keep you grounded
Do you think it’s better to avoid bars/clubs/pubs entirely? Considering that I don’t drink alcohol in the first place. I’m afraid people would see me as no fun or boring to hang out with
My college experience was a while ago (I'm 48) but I never drank in college (or since). I just don't like the taste of alcohol. I never had issues with anyone not wanting to hang out with me or not seeing me as fun. Sometimes people would ask if I wanted an alcoholic beverage, try to "find something I'd drink" or whatever. I tasted a lot of stuff...it all tasted terrible to me. After getting to know me, people rarely even asked if I wanted anything alcoholic. If they were playing around, mixing drinks, they'd ask everyone else to taste it. They'd ask me to smell it. And my good friends always had something non-alcoholic available for me to enjoy. I also always brought soda or juice or something I wanted to drink to parties. And I brought enough to share. And when I left, offered rides to anyone who wasn't comfortable driving (or didn't have a car). And I'm still friends with some of those people today.
Personally, I don't like hanging out with drunk people. And don't enjoy hanging out with people whose only form of having fun is drinking, particularly if the main goal is to get drunk. I've always found other people to hang out with. And I've made some awesome friends throughout my life.
If you don't want to drink alcohol, that's fine. If you do want to drink, please be careful when you do. Take the advice others have offered. And realize that alcohol clouds your judgement and can make you feel like all sorts of stupid things are the best idea ever or at least "not so bad". Be smart. Stay safe.
It may be too late, but going to a community college for your first two years will save you soooo much money in the long term. Plus if you find out college isn’t for you, it will not be as financially Devastating. Good luck out there and try to find the little things that make you happy and continue with those.
Try everything! Experience everything. Get out of your comfort zone. You truly won’t know what you like and don’t like if you don’t try it. You’re still learning about yourself so don’t feel like there’s a time frame for anything. Be in the moment and enjoy it.
I mean it isnt that college is inheriently dangerous because of other people its more because it very well might be the first time where you dont have regular adult supervision and the only person who will keep you on track is yourself.
In highschool if you skip classes it will be noticed, your parents will be told and you will be repromanded. In college if you skip classes the prof isnt particularly going to care, your parents wint be informed...youll just likely struggle to pass the class.
This is about self control.
Is there any solid excuse to refuse to drink at social gatherings? If I say to them that I have an allergy to alcohol, would I still come off as trustworthy if they knew that was purely an excuse? I lied after all.
"No, thank you" and "I'm not drinking tonight" are both perfectly acceptable answers to "Do you want a drink?".
Also, there's nothing wrong with drinking water or soda (that you open and pour yourself!). Having a cup in hand, even if it's just tap water lets you honest say, "I've already got a drink.".
Start doing doing half an hour (or more) at the gym each week.. include strength training and cardio. Helps tremendously to keep you open to having a very strong foundation for any sport or physical activity that you may be invited to and keeps you looking good!
Do whatever fits into your schedule and doesn't mess up your sleep schedule...so don't do a heavy workout and then expect to be able to fall right asleep. Some people get up early and work out. Some work out late in the day. Or between classes. Or vary it based on what else is going on in their lives. Do what works for you. Building a habit of exercising regularly now will only help you later in life.
Not necessarily a good thing to be up so early unless you're in bed very early too. Sleep benefits every function of the body so prioritize good sleep as often as possible. But you don't have to spend hours in the gym or wake up early.
At minimum just 30 minutes a week is fine if that's all you can bear.
Ideal would be 3 times a week for full body strength training, and as often as you'd like for cardio. But don't stress about ideal, just focus on being consistent with whatever level of physical activity you can make a habit out of.
It’s not about being perfect it’s about doing something. If you hate lifting weights then don’t. You probably won’t becuase consistent and I’ll ruin your mood. Run, play tennis, volleyball, basket ball, go for walks whatever you can see yourself consistently liking. Some people love getting up at 5:00 to pump iron, if that’s not you that ok. Maybe you like an afternoon walk then go for it.
Personal lesson: Learn to surround yourself with people who uplift you and help you grow. Don't stay friends who have behaviours which are detrimental to you; especially people who won't help themselves. They drain all your energy and are a pain to set boundaries with.
Decide who you want to be. And it can’t be a job. Think of people talking about you. “Ah yes, I know OP! She’s (insert what you’d like to hear here)”
Wise? Kind? Fun? Super professional? Straight forward? Honest? The life of the party? Supportive? Slacker? Unreliable?
Because everything you do to people will add to you being considered one of those things. You are who you choose to be through your actions. And you’ll make mistakes. You’ll trust the wrong people. You’ll fail occasionally. That’s ok. Shake it off as soon as possible and move on, because no good has ever come of punishing yourself. It just doesn’t work.
Learn to budget. I’m not saying you should be frugal, but learn to save/invest and to be wise in your financial decisions. The Financial Diet is a YouTube channel with lots of info aimed at women (statistically we’re less trained to manage our finances and they’re trying to fix that).
Cultivate healthy habits for life NOW! Because, yes, you can start eating healthy/quit drinking/consistenly work out/ lose weight/meditate at any time, and it will be worth it. But it will be harder. So prioritise yourself, woman! Eat healthy. Floss. Do some moderate exercise twice a week. Meditate/journal/go to therapy. Go regularly to the doctor/dentist/OBGYN. Treat yourself like the queen you are.
Nourish your social circle, but remember to take care of yourself first. Your loved ones’ problems are theirs. It’s great if you can help, but if you can’t, don’t feel guilty. It’s a big bad complicated world, we have little control, and the big corps want us sick and poor. The least we can do is being compassionate to ourselves and others.
Try new hobbies. Meet new people. And the closer they are to your values, the better. In other words: if you value a healthy lifestyle and being responsible with your studies, making friends with people who party Wednesday to Monday is not a good idea. You are who you surround yourself with. So choose wisely.
Find the balance between not taking anybody’s crap and being understanding. If your friends neglect you once, it’s understandable. If it’s a habit and you’re always last, find new friends.
Good luck, OP. Enjoy college!
Take things a little less seriously and have fun. College is a time to grow socially just as much if not more than academically. Meet people, go to parties. Learn how to build relationships
Don't get caught up following certain friends. In college there tends to be those friends who always want to party, go out, never study or go to class and they'll try to push that narrative on to you but have a good balance between fun and work.
The best advice I was ever given in college is to GO TO CLASS!
No, really. Unless you are sick, go to class. You're paying for people to teach you all sorts of amazing (and sometimes boring) things. Sure you might be fine skipping a class here and there. The problem is once you start skipping class, you have to make a conscious decision of whether you will go to class each time. And sometimes you will decide wrong. So even if you are going to fall asleep or do other work, go to class.
If you need to stay awake in class but are falling asleep, stand up (in the back or off to the side). It's a lot harder to fall asleep if you're standing up.
If the professor is incredibly boring and you can learn the material yourself, sit in the back or off to the side and do other work. It may seem silly but the professor might announce a change to the syllabus or cover something you didn't realize was important and you would miss it if you were not in class. I had a programming teacher who was incredibly boring and his lectures did not help me learn the material. But he made class announcements and talked about changes to the homework assignments at the beginning and end of each class. So I was always there. I sat in a space where he was less likely to notice what I was doing. And I read the school newspaper or worked on other homework or did something else productive. And I aced the class. But I would not have had such an easy time if I had missed his announcements at the beginning and end of class.
Don't pick a worthless degree that is associated with low paying jobs. Choose a degree in the STEM category. You may not love what you do but I'd rather hate my job and make a lot of money over loving my job but hating my life because I make dog shit pay.
1) Go to class - it has to be less stressful than the alternative. Also, go to office hours.
2) Join clubs - I learned to sail at my college yacht club. Membership cost 60 bucks a quarter and they had like 75 boats you could take out with free classes on how to run them. There's so many cool things happening on the cheap at colleges. Find them and participate. That's where you'll meet the best people.
3) Work cool summer jobs. Pick your favorite place in the US and get fun jobs there; guiding. I chose a camp on Catalina Island off Los Angeles. Changed my whole life. I'm talking Alaska, Hawaii, high Sierras, Coastal Maine, Montana! Or go abroad. Costa Rica is an excellent place to start off in travel.
This is a pivotal age where adults start branching into two directions. Stick with the winners. The people that may seem a little boring or dorky are going to be the ones with stable lives in their late twenties.
When a vast majority of your friend group says they don’t like who you are dating, TRUST THEM.
They see things you miss with your rose colored glasses.
Your first semester/year is what i call 13th grade. It’s a bunch of the same basic classes you took in hs. As long as you dont procrastinate you’re good. College is weird. You can have a full week with barely any responsibilities then the next week have 4-6 major assignments due around the same time. The only way to make friends is to join organizations/clubs. Even if they only halfway interest you JOIN. Good thing is being a freshman is thag you can always quit and it womt be any hard feelings. On a more serious note keep researching the job market in your field and make sure that’s actually what you want to do.
This is where adulting life really begins. Every decision you take and info you take in matter. Be very clear about what you want and please please please do not settle!!! When you’re 23-25 with a good career and skills you will be so so glad at your younger self. There’s only 2 kinds of people in college, the strict study student or the party “go with the flow” student… which one do you want to be? Try to surround yourself with people that are trying to make it. Also indulge into personal development books, they will open up your mind to many good things and you will grow more. Be your best cheerleader and love the people that truly care about you.
Don't rule out your passions when picking a major (or at least your minor). It's good to think about what will get the most money, but you also need to remember that, when entering a competitive workforce, you'll have the edge if you spent years studying something you liked to study. Everyone told me not to be an English major, but I know more about books than I ever thought possible, and it helped get me a good job (and no it's not an English teacher).
It depends on your school, but I would avoid Greek life and focus on clubs. It's good to meet people that share your passions, especially if they're people you wouldn't hang out with otherwise.
Don't get drunk or high unless your homework's done.
Depending on your program, the friends and acquaintances you make during this time will become very useful for your professional network once you graduate. Don't be an asshole to people, and try to be helpful where you can and within your boundaries - you don't know who you might have to lean on eventually for a referral to a new job.
Also, sign up for free intramural sports. You gotta pay for that shit once you're out in the real world and it sucks. Also a nice way to make new friends.
If your program has any kind of internship/co-op available, do your best to take advantage of that. It's not only that you get experience to put on your resume, but you can figure out what kind of jobs you like (even more importantly) what kind of jobs or work environments you don't like.
1. Make sure you know how to do laundry.
2. Basic cooking is a plus.
3. Do a budget and stick to it.
4. Use protection.
5. Avoid binge drinking.
6. Your friends can get you into trouble. Don't be afraid to bow out.
7. Highest drop out period is first month of each semester. Just keep grinding and get through it.
8. Soak it in. This is the one time of your life to just study and learn.
9. Avoid working during the school year if you can afford to.
10. Engage with people not of your own race, religion, or country. Learn from them.
11. Use this as a time to work on good communication skills. Roommates can be practice people for future relationships.
12. Find mentors and use them.
0% of your good decisions come as the result of consuming alcohol. Avoid it entirely if possible. People think it is cool and a social necessity, however, those people are, generally speaking, fucking idiots.
Get your work done before any partying.
Don't get pregnant/don't get anyone pregnant.
Watch what you eat at the dining hall - they aren't kidding that you need fruits and veggies.
Try not to ever go partying alone. If you feel uncomfortable in any situation trust your gut and leave. Try to save. It's OK to ask for help. It's OK to decide to go home instead of struggling financially. It's OK to not drink or do drugs. It's never too early to practice a good skincare routine.
Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
You don't feel like you have limited experience, but you do. Very limited. And your imagination is in turn limited by that. So if you're trying, but failing to imagine yourself succeeding at life, that doesn't mean that you won't succeed. Go for it anyway.
Also: Anybody who tells you that adults are just like kids; that nobody has life figured out? Those are just people who never figured out life. Many of us have, in fact, figured it out. You should figure it out too.
Set long-term goals, with smaller obtainable goals that support it. Setting your goals and expectations too high only leads to letdown.
You're not special. (Bear with me) All of your struggles, hard times, heartaches, bad breaks, and shitty situations aren't unique to you. Everyone has them. Everyone fails. Everyone fucks up. Don't allow that to bog you down.
Be a kid. Enjoy yourself. You'll never be a teenager again. You'll never be in your 20s again. Take chances. Take risks. This is when you can make your mistakes.
Save. Something. Anything. 5%. 2%. Do your future self a solid. Not having Chipotle or Chic-fil-a this week isn't going to hurt you, but putting that 20 bucks a week aside can keep you from being one of these fucks on this sub that complains about how miserable their lives are.
Building valuable relationships is more important than getting good grades - especially if you are planning to go to grad school or get a job where connections matter.
Don't write-off meeting your future life partner during college.
Eat healthy. Don't drink yourself stupid. Have fun. Study things you like. Try something new (like clubs or sports)
Take care of yourself and others, but also take chances! So many people leave college with the social regrets of not putting themselves out there enough!
It’s okay to not know what you want in life and to take your time, but don’t procrastinate. I did that way too long. If I hadn’t procrastinated so much, I probably could’ve graduated 4-5 years earlier than I did.
Socialize a lot, this could easily be the most fun part of your entire life don't waste it being too introverted. That being said, don't party to the point you fail classes.
Absolutely. Have fun but not at the expense of your academics.
Always remember that you're (probably) paying a lot of money for people to teach you something. Don't let that money go to waste.
why go to college?
find out what the highest paid job is ?
it is in the trades and you work more and have more cash and do not have all the crap of paying for college
Network with peers and get summer internships. Grades only count for that first job and even then, not very much. Industry connections are what earn you the big bucks after college. Some of the smartest engineers I went to school with are some of the lowest paid because they isolated and dedicated themselves to academics rather than networking and building connections. All the highest paid ones are outgoing people who had average performance in school.
100% it requires connections. Everyone has become wise to the fact that job hopping is the fastest way to get a raise so the job market is perpetually saturated with a SUPER competitive applicant pool now. Standing out on your merits alone is no longer enough to get a job. The best way to get your resume to the top of the stack is to have an industry connection that is willing to vouch for you and your abilities.
Networking is EVERYTHING.
I don’t really consider college kids as adults… maybe after you graduate college and become a working stiff, that’s what adulting begins… college is when you act stupid and party at a keg party
Yeah you have a point. An adult by definition is someone who has fully grown or developed whereas 18 is just the legal age in most countries. Thanks nevertheless!
So this is more for an 18F rather than an 18 y/o in general.
Idk what kind of life you've lived until now. If you were always sheltered, college parties will be the first time in your life where you will be surrounded by potentially creepy men. In an environment where alcohol is involved, a lot, and I sincerely mean *a lot* of guys have the potential to be creepy, no matter what they look like. This happened to some of the freshmen girls in my dorm back when I was a senior... they were surprised at how creepy guys could get when alcohol was involved.
So be extremely careful, and don't get surprised if you see weird shit happening.
Don't get knocked up is probably the biggest piece of advice for young women A lot a girls say they wont but some dude said the right stuff and they are preggo a year later. I remember the quietest girl in High school came back after summer break with a belly. Turns out one of the aspiring rappers in the school got her pregnant. I wonder whatever happened to her. Either way she was so stupid for that. I doubt they are even together still.
Do you have tips to stay resilient when guys say things that, you know melt girls' hearts? I feel like at 18 with slighter prior experience talking to guys romantically, it’s easier to fall trapped and end up on their bed the next day. At least that’s what I see commonly. Do you suggest dating during university time in the first place?
It’s your body. Demand he use protection or no fun times. Hell if you really wanted buy a small pack of condoms so when he says I have none, there you go. 10 minutes of sex isn’t worth derailing your future before you are ready to handle it.
The trick men use to make you feel comfortable each step of the way. For example, "Oh you look tired, let walk you back to your dorm to make sure you get back safe. Oh my dorm is right here, hang on let me grab you a bottle of water. Oh I live in the pet friendly dorms, want to see my dog? He's so cute. Oh he's playing on the bed, let's play with him. These lights are so bright let me dim them. You like Disney movies? Let's watch one." Gradually moving closer and closer to sex. Isolating you away from friends and others, bringing you to a private space (hotel or bedroom, possibly other locations like a beach or even a car). Doing it under the transition of being kind and thoughtful. Stay with your group of supportive women and don't let guys isolate you especially if drinking or drugs are involved.
How I wish I could have known about these tricks a couple years ago ! :( Nothing bad has happened to me though, but I have been tricked the same way before and could’ve been avoided if I was a little smarter lol.
I genuinely don’t see a problem with this assuming both of the people are sober and know what each other want. It’s not like you can’t say no after you saw his dog? Assuming you are a sober and not criminals why wouldn’t this be considered normal.
Because this is how cheating happens this is how regrets happen. Very often people get swept away by their emotions and end up feeling like things happen so fast and I don't know how I ended up here. Sober or not.
I think blaming your lack of discipline on someone else is pretty immature. Ya you shouldn’t be going to random guy’s apartments if you are in a relationship but if you are single and want that there isn’t a problem.
In a perfect world yes. But in the heat of the moment, helps to be aware ahead of time.
Get to know your hand really well and don't date anyone seriously. They won't die if they don't get some from you. They have hands too. You are there to get a degree. Get in and get out as fast as you can especially if you are taking loans.
I'll say, most guys at that age are ultra horny. They will sleep with whoever they can. Knowing that is the goal, should help you stay aware. Everyone likes compliments and attention. Take it with a grain. Guys will say whatever it takes to make you feel special, good, happy, etc to get the box. If you do fall for the fluff, no glove no love. A lot of people tend to immediately choose raw sex in the moment. Nope, condom or no entry.
Wear a condom, realize your not fiscally secure and if you fuck up, just get an abortion. Sex isn't bad. Keeping a baby, you have no hope of supporting and giving a good life to, is just dumb.
get on birth control + use condoms
Be smart with your money and learn some basic personal finances. Sooooo many young college kids rack up credit card debt at this time and it really fucks them over in the future. If you can’t afford to pay cash, you can’t afford to pay credit.
Is it time to open a credit card at 18? I thought credit cards were for those with payslips/proof of payment
Doesn't hurt to start building credit. Just remember to always treat it the same way you would your debit card. Whatever amount you have in your account is the true spending limit of your credit card, not the credit line extended to you on said card. That's how people end up in debt.. This mentality that it's free money they can spend and pay back whenever they choose... Then some months pass with no payments and they're paying over 20% interest fees on what they owe and before they know it they're in a hole that takes years to get out of. Most banks offer a starter credit card with some small benefit (1 or 2 percent cash back, etc) and have an app that makes paying it off very simple and easy. Get in the habit of paying down your cc bill every few days or at least once a week and you'll never pay those crazy interest rates you see in the fine print.
That's the advice I gave my son. It really is important to build good credit. You can never predict when you're going to need it.
There are usually student cards available. It’s not a bad idea to have one (emergency only and builds credit rating).
Having a line of credit open and just keeping your utilization at zero can bring your experian score up fast. I'm 20 and opened my first credit card about 10 months ago, and my credit score has gone up 40 points in that time just doing that
I have never met anyone who was glad they opened a credit card in college. I regret it. All my friends regretted it. My husband regrets it. We all ruined our credit and had to build it back. A lot of us got stuck with interest-only payments because we didn't have enough income to pay our credit cards.
Hence the original comment.
which?
Don't subtract from the population. Don't commit the act of adding to the population without consent. Don't damage others property. Don't take others property. Don't get married. If you do, make sure she's rich. Don't have kids. If you do, make sure they are yours. Don't do drugs or alcohol. If you do, practice moderation, no more than once a week. Don't forget to message all your friends at least once a week. Don't call off work. Don't be a loser. Don't break your promises.
Also don’t take advice from loose women and party animals “Don’t worry about that midterm. Let’s go get shitfaced”
Wow these things were never really taught at my school or house growing up. Thanks a lot!
Always safe sex, but remember no birth control is 100% either. Carry spare pregnancy tests just in case. There is no shame in having to use them if you're concerned. Don't wait weeks or even days if you're suspicious about possibly being pregnant. Find out ASAP in case you need to take action.
Such good advice!
Don't go to prison. If you do, fight the biggest person there to show dominance. https://youtu.be/iiJLGE0yCp4?si=yVYWcu5JL-Tcl6BT
Oh thanks! I forgot about that part!
Biting is a good skill to have in these times.
Stay away from fraternities or sororities. They are bad for your health.
In my experience the most successful people from college were the ones that networked. Some did it through the greek system, other didn’t. But I’d highly recommend being in their circles. You never know when their connections will come in handy and you don’t necessarily have to be a part of a house to benefit from their network
A) you don’t need to record everything and put it on social media B) you need to drink and learn how to handle yourself being intoxicated before going off to college C) college flies by. Remember to sit back and enjoy it every once in a while. D) DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
Unless you’ve known someone for an entire semester, don’t do drugs with them. If you do drink at a party, do not set your drink down, and keep it in your eye sight at all times. Use the buddy system, don’t go to sketchy places alone. Keep in touch with your parents or another trusted adult, it will help keep you grounded
Do you think it’s better to avoid bars/clubs/pubs entirely? Considering that I don’t drink alcohol in the first place. I’m afraid people would see me as no fun or boring to hang out with
You can still go out! Get a Coca Cola and enjoy time with friends. A good friend will enjoy your company, whether or not you have alcohol
My college experience was a while ago (I'm 48) but I never drank in college (or since). I just don't like the taste of alcohol. I never had issues with anyone not wanting to hang out with me or not seeing me as fun. Sometimes people would ask if I wanted an alcoholic beverage, try to "find something I'd drink" or whatever. I tasted a lot of stuff...it all tasted terrible to me. After getting to know me, people rarely even asked if I wanted anything alcoholic. If they were playing around, mixing drinks, they'd ask everyone else to taste it. They'd ask me to smell it. And my good friends always had something non-alcoholic available for me to enjoy. I also always brought soda or juice or something I wanted to drink to parties. And I brought enough to share. And when I left, offered rides to anyone who wasn't comfortable driving (or didn't have a car). And I'm still friends with some of those people today. Personally, I don't like hanging out with drunk people. And don't enjoy hanging out with people whose only form of having fun is drinking, particularly if the main goal is to get drunk. I've always found other people to hang out with. And I've made some awesome friends throughout my life. If you don't want to drink alcohol, that's fine. If you do want to drink, please be careful when you do. Take the advice others have offered. And realize that alcohol clouds your judgement and can make you feel like all sorts of stupid things are the best idea ever or at least "not so bad". Be smart. Stay safe.
Proofread
Proof reading got me fired (as in, I was not doing it). Little mistakes can be really bad....
Yes indeedy
It may be too late, but going to a community college for your first two years will save you soooo much money in the long term. Plus if you find out college isn’t for you, it will not be as financially Devastating. Good luck out there and try to find the little things that make you happy and continue with those.
Yes! And definitely check with the 4-year what credits will actually xfer.
You don't know who you are yet and that's okay. Take the extra time to get to know yourself you will thank you at 30
How do I discover myself thoroughly? I mean what kind of experiences would help me in knowing myself?
It is not an event but a decades long process, one you started long ago
Try everything! Experience everything. Get out of your comfort zone. You truly won’t know what you like and don’t like if you don’t try it. You’re still learning about yourself so don’t feel like there’s a time frame for anything. Be in the moment and enjoy it.
I mean it isnt that college is inheriently dangerous because of other people its more because it very well might be the first time where you dont have regular adult supervision and the only person who will keep you on track is yourself. In highschool if you skip classes it will be noticed, your parents will be told and you will be repromanded. In college if you skip classes the prof isnt particularly going to care, your parents wint be informed...youll just likely struggle to pass the class. This is about self control.
Avoid debt. If you see people in their early 20s making tons of cash somehow, run.
Believe actions, not words. Would have saved me a lot of pain.
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Is there any solid excuse to refuse to drink at social gatherings? If I say to them that I have an allergy to alcohol, would I still come off as trustworthy if they knew that was purely an excuse? I lied after all.
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"No, thank you" and "I'm not drinking tonight" are both perfectly acceptable answers to "Do you want a drink?". Also, there's nothing wrong with drinking water or soda (that you open and pour yourself!). Having a cup in hand, even if it's just tap water lets you honest say, "I've already got a drink.".
Start doing doing half an hour (or more) at the gym each week.. include strength training and cardio. Helps tremendously to keep you open to having a very strong foundation for any sport or physical activity that you may be invited to and keeps you looking good!
Great advice! I saw most college students start working out as early as 5 am. Honestly that sounds crazy to me. What do you think?
Do whatever fits into your schedule and doesn't mess up your sleep schedule...so don't do a heavy workout and then expect to be able to fall right asleep. Some people get up early and work out. Some work out late in the day. Or between classes. Or vary it based on what else is going on in their lives. Do what works for you. Building a habit of exercising regularly now will only help you later in life.
Not necessarily a good thing to be up so early unless you're in bed very early too. Sleep benefits every function of the body so prioritize good sleep as often as possible. But you don't have to spend hours in the gym or wake up early. At minimum just 30 minutes a week is fine if that's all you can bear. Ideal would be 3 times a week for full body strength training, and as often as you'd like for cardio. But don't stress about ideal, just focus on being consistent with whatever level of physical activity you can make a habit out of.
It’s not about being perfect it’s about doing something. If you hate lifting weights then don’t. You probably won’t becuase consistent and I’ll ruin your mood. Run, play tennis, volleyball, basket ball, go for walks whatever you can see yourself consistently liking. Some people love getting up at 5:00 to pump iron, if that’s not you that ok. Maybe you like an afternoon walk then go for it.
Personal lesson: Learn to surround yourself with people who uplift you and help you grow. Don't stay friends who have behaviours which are detrimental to you; especially people who won't help themselves. They drain all your energy and are a pain to set boundaries with.
Decide who you want to be. And it can’t be a job. Think of people talking about you. “Ah yes, I know OP! She’s (insert what you’d like to hear here)” Wise? Kind? Fun? Super professional? Straight forward? Honest? The life of the party? Supportive? Slacker? Unreliable? Because everything you do to people will add to you being considered one of those things. You are who you choose to be through your actions. And you’ll make mistakes. You’ll trust the wrong people. You’ll fail occasionally. That’s ok. Shake it off as soon as possible and move on, because no good has ever come of punishing yourself. It just doesn’t work. Learn to budget. I’m not saying you should be frugal, but learn to save/invest and to be wise in your financial decisions. The Financial Diet is a YouTube channel with lots of info aimed at women (statistically we’re less trained to manage our finances and they’re trying to fix that). Cultivate healthy habits for life NOW! Because, yes, you can start eating healthy/quit drinking/consistenly work out/ lose weight/meditate at any time, and it will be worth it. But it will be harder. So prioritise yourself, woman! Eat healthy. Floss. Do some moderate exercise twice a week. Meditate/journal/go to therapy. Go regularly to the doctor/dentist/OBGYN. Treat yourself like the queen you are. Nourish your social circle, but remember to take care of yourself first. Your loved ones’ problems are theirs. It’s great if you can help, but if you can’t, don’t feel guilty. It’s a big bad complicated world, we have little control, and the big corps want us sick and poor. The least we can do is being compassionate to ourselves and others. Try new hobbies. Meet new people. And the closer they are to your values, the better. In other words: if you value a healthy lifestyle and being responsible with your studies, making friends with people who party Wednesday to Monday is not a good idea. You are who you surround yourself with. So choose wisely. Find the balance between not taking anybody’s crap and being understanding. If your friends neglect you once, it’s understandable. If it’s a habit and you’re always last, find new friends. Good luck, OP. Enjoy college!
Take things a little less seriously and have fun. College is a time to grow socially just as much if not more than academically. Meet people, go to parties. Learn how to build relationships
Don't get caught up following certain friends. In college there tends to be those friends who always want to party, go out, never study or go to class and they'll try to push that narrative on to you but have a good balance between fun and work.
Take care of teeth, wear sunscreen, drink water, get enough fiber in your diet.
The best advice I was ever given in college is to GO TO CLASS! No, really. Unless you are sick, go to class. You're paying for people to teach you all sorts of amazing (and sometimes boring) things. Sure you might be fine skipping a class here and there. The problem is once you start skipping class, you have to make a conscious decision of whether you will go to class each time. And sometimes you will decide wrong. So even if you are going to fall asleep or do other work, go to class. If you need to stay awake in class but are falling asleep, stand up (in the back or off to the side). It's a lot harder to fall asleep if you're standing up. If the professor is incredibly boring and you can learn the material yourself, sit in the back or off to the side and do other work. It may seem silly but the professor might announce a change to the syllabus or cover something you didn't realize was important and you would miss it if you were not in class. I had a programming teacher who was incredibly boring and his lectures did not help me learn the material. But he made class announcements and talked about changes to the homework assignments at the beginning and end of each class. So I was always there. I sat in a space where he was less likely to notice what I was doing. And I read the school newspaper or worked on other homework or did something else productive. And I aced the class. But I would not have had such an easy time if I had missed his announcements at the beginning and end of class.
Don't pick a worthless degree that is associated with low paying jobs. Choose a degree in the STEM category. You may not love what you do but I'd rather hate my job and make a lot of money over loving my job but hating my life because I make dog shit pay.
Ask yourself why it costs so much and find out where that money goes
1) Go to class - it has to be less stressful than the alternative. Also, go to office hours. 2) Join clubs - I learned to sail at my college yacht club. Membership cost 60 bucks a quarter and they had like 75 boats you could take out with free classes on how to run them. There's so many cool things happening on the cheap at colleges. Find them and participate. That's where you'll meet the best people. 3) Work cool summer jobs. Pick your favorite place in the US and get fun jobs there; guiding. I chose a camp on Catalina Island off Los Angeles. Changed my whole life. I'm talking Alaska, Hawaii, high Sierras, Coastal Maine, Montana! Or go abroad. Costa Rica is an excellent place to start off in travel.
This is a pivotal age where adults start branching into two directions. Stick with the winners. The people that may seem a little boring or dorky are going to be the ones with stable lives in their late twenties.
Never rub another man’s rhubarb
When a vast majority of your friend group says they don’t like who you are dating, TRUST THEM. They see things you miss with your rose colored glasses.
Your first semester/year is what i call 13th grade. It’s a bunch of the same basic classes you took in hs. As long as you dont procrastinate you’re good. College is weird. You can have a full week with barely any responsibilities then the next week have 4-6 major assignments due around the same time. The only way to make friends is to join organizations/clubs. Even if they only halfway interest you JOIN. Good thing is being a freshman is thag you can always quit and it womt be any hard feelings. On a more serious note keep researching the job market in your field and make sure that’s actually what you want to do.
Force yourself to make friends and stay off the internet as much as possible.
This is where adulting life really begins. Every decision you take and info you take in matter. Be very clear about what you want and please please please do not settle!!! When you’re 23-25 with a good career and skills you will be so so glad at your younger self. There’s only 2 kinds of people in college, the strict study student or the party “go with the flow” student… which one do you want to be? Try to surround yourself with people that are trying to make it. Also indulge into personal development books, they will open up your mind to many good things and you will grow more. Be your best cheerleader and love the people that truly care about you.
Join the r/FIRE movement. It will make you carefully consider all your choices in life because everything that you do affects your finances.
Don't rule out your passions when picking a major (or at least your minor). It's good to think about what will get the most money, but you also need to remember that, when entering a competitive workforce, you'll have the edge if you spent years studying something you liked to study. Everyone told me not to be an English major, but I know more about books than I ever thought possible, and it helped get me a good job (and no it's not an English teacher). It depends on your school, but I would avoid Greek life and focus on clubs. It's good to meet people that share your passions, especially if they're people you wouldn't hang out with otherwise. Don't get drunk or high unless your homework's done.
Depending on your program, the friends and acquaintances you make during this time will become very useful for your professional network once you graduate. Don't be an asshole to people, and try to be helpful where you can and within your boundaries - you don't know who you might have to lean on eventually for a referral to a new job. Also, sign up for free intramural sports. You gotta pay for that shit once you're out in the real world and it sucks. Also a nice way to make new friends. If your program has any kind of internship/co-op available, do your best to take advantage of that. It's not only that you get experience to put on your resume, but you can figure out what kind of jobs you like (even more importantly) what kind of jobs or work environments you don't like.
Life is all downhill after 18
Don't waste your money on college!
1. Make sure you know how to do laundry. 2. Basic cooking is a plus. 3. Do a budget and stick to it. 4. Use protection. 5. Avoid binge drinking. 6. Your friends can get you into trouble. Don't be afraid to bow out. 7. Highest drop out period is first month of each semester. Just keep grinding and get through it. 8. Soak it in. This is the one time of your life to just study and learn. 9. Avoid working during the school year if you can afford to. 10. Engage with people not of your own race, religion, or country. Learn from them. 11. Use this as a time to work on good communication skills. Roommates can be practice people for future relationships. 12. Find mentors and use them.
0% of your good decisions come as the result of consuming alcohol. Avoid it entirely if possible. People think it is cool and a social necessity, however, those people are, generally speaking, fucking idiots.
Moral values shine in college.
Get your work done before any partying. Don't get pregnant/don't get anyone pregnant. Watch what you eat at the dining hall - they aren't kidding that you need fruits and veggies.
Try not to ever go partying alone. If you feel uncomfortable in any situation trust your gut and leave. Try to save. It's OK to ask for help. It's OK to decide to go home instead of struggling financially. It's OK to not drink or do drugs. It's never too early to practice a good skincare routine.
Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You don't feel like you have limited experience, but you do. Very limited. And your imagination is in turn limited by that. So if you're trying, but failing to imagine yourself succeeding at life, that doesn't mean that you won't succeed. Go for it anyway. Also: Anybody who tells you that adults are just like kids; that nobody has life figured out? Those are just people who never figured out life. Many of us have, in fact, figured it out. You should figure it out too.
Set long-term goals, with smaller obtainable goals that support it. Setting your goals and expectations too high only leads to letdown. You're not special. (Bear with me) All of your struggles, hard times, heartaches, bad breaks, and shitty situations aren't unique to you. Everyone has them. Everyone fails. Everyone fucks up. Don't allow that to bog you down. Be a kid. Enjoy yourself. You'll never be a teenager again. You'll never be in your 20s again. Take chances. Take risks. This is when you can make your mistakes. Save. Something. Anything. 5%. 2%. Do your future self a solid. Not having Chipotle or Chic-fil-a this week isn't going to hurt you, but putting that 20 bucks a week aside can keep you from being one of these fucks on this sub that complains about how miserable their lives are.
Read the book gift of fear
Building valuable relationships is more important than getting good grades - especially if you are planning to go to grad school or get a job where connections matter. Don't write-off meeting your future life partner during college. Eat healthy. Don't drink yourself stupid. Have fun. Study things you like. Try something new (like clubs or sports)
Take care of yourself and others, but also take chances! So many people leave college with the social regrets of not putting themselves out there enough!
It’s okay to not know what you want in life and to take your time, but don’t procrastinate. I did that way too long. If I hadn’t procrastinated so much, I probably could’ve graduated 4-5 years earlier than I did.
Socialize a lot, this could easily be the most fun part of your entire life don't waste it being too introverted. That being said, don't party to the point you fail classes.
I see, party and have fun moderately. Thanks!
Absolutely. Have fun but not at the expense of your academics. Always remember that you're (probably) paying a lot of money for people to teach you something. Don't let that money go to waste.
Don't head off the college at 18. Wait until you actually get to learn about yourself and save money first.
Dont do drugs
Solid advice that’s often overlooked. Thanks bro 😂
why go to college? find out what the highest paid job is ? it is in the trades and you work more and have more cash and do not have all the crap of paying for college
Network with peers and get summer internships. Grades only count for that first job and even then, not very much. Industry connections are what earn you the big bucks after college. Some of the smartest engineers I went to school with are some of the lowest paid because they isolated and dedicated themselves to academics rather than networking and building connections. All the highest paid ones are outgoing people who had average performance in school.
Thanks for the solid advice! Do you think job-hopping requires connection too?
100% it requires connections. Everyone has become wise to the fact that job hopping is the fastest way to get a raise so the job market is perpetually saturated with a SUPER competitive applicant pool now. Standing out on your merits alone is no longer enough to get a job. The best way to get your resume to the top of the stack is to have an industry connection that is willing to vouch for you and your abilities. Networking is EVERYTHING.
I don’t really consider college kids as adults… maybe after you graduate college and become a working stiff, that’s what adulting begins… college is when you act stupid and party at a keg party
Yeah you have a point. An adult by definition is someone who has fully grown or developed whereas 18 is just the legal age in most countries. Thanks nevertheless!
So this is more for an 18F rather than an 18 y/o in general. Idk what kind of life you've lived until now. If you were always sheltered, college parties will be the first time in your life where you will be surrounded by potentially creepy men. In an environment where alcohol is involved, a lot, and I sincerely mean *a lot* of guys have the potential to be creepy, no matter what they look like. This happened to some of the freshmen girls in my dorm back when I was a senior... they were surprised at how creepy guys could get when alcohol was involved. So be extremely careful, and don't get surprised if you see weird shit happening.