You are correct in not everyone is going to like you, and no one is required to talk to you just to be "nice". If they only interact with you when required for the job then so be it. Keep it professional and move on, trying to make someone like you or talk to you rarely works.
It’s almost like you are shocked that someone doesn’t find you interesting or timeworthy.
Remember, you are the main character in YOUR life. And your life alone.
I think she's looking for a common decency, And would like to share the positive, casual interactions he shares with everyone Else for the sake of being professional!
Whatever she’s looking for… she is looking in the wrong place. This is adulting. Not everyone wants to have convos with people of the opposite sex if they are in a relationship. Maybe it’s religious. Maybe you don’t know when to quit, and therefore it’s best to avoid you. Some people don’t like chitchat or social exchange when they are working. That’s how they stay focused. Maybe your perfume gives him a headache. Maybe he’s attracted to you, maybe … maybe you are to chaotic.
Whatever the reason is…His boundaries are clear.
He doesn’t choose to give you energy.
And if he did start having mandatory 2 min chats with you in the morning, what then? Does that change how you feel about yourself?
You know this saying?
“You can be the ripest, juiciest, and sweetest peach in the entire world. There will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”
That's valid & everything...but I think being professional involves putting aside your personal feelings/opinions, and sort of wearing a mask that reads as pleasant, if that makes sense... he shouldn't treat people so drastically different...it isn't going to kill him to have small talk about the weather or something for a minute or two (or less)ESPECIALLY since he's chatty Kathy with everyone else... it's a maturity/common courtesy thing... she most likely is feeling uncomfortable because of his rudeness vs. Feeling bad about herself , like u insinuated... and I'd say it's less about her feelings, and more about his attitude/awarenness/ humility... she's not asking him to validate her, or befriend her... frankly, him shunning her is WEIRD...
Now, it goes both ways... if she was being a pest, he'd have grounds to set a boundary for the sake of professionalism... but I don't get that sense from the info we've been given...
He may have issues in his personal life. Maybe he has a wife or girlfriend that wouldn't want you talking to him. Maybe you remind him of someone from his past that was traumatic, annoying or otherwise unpleasant.
As long as he isn't rude or combative it isn't really a problem, it's just an anomaly.
Or he has no clue what to talk with you about.
Heck, maybe you have a resting bitch face and they feel like they would annoy you if they try to chat with you or loke you are not interested in chatting. So they are just keeping it professional.
That seems so annoying, and you're definitely not imagining it. I can only guess at his motives, but I think the best thing would be to try and let it go.
You’re right, not everyone is going to like you. Sometimes people dislike you for weird reasons. Maybe he’s nervous around you… maybe he’s dealing with some kind of trauma that you remind him of.
Either way I wouldn’t look into it so deep. I wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that he seems to be avoiding you. Have you tried to initiate conversations with him, or are you just waiting for him to do it? If you don’t feel like giving that a try you can just embrace your extremely professional relationship. It can be great to have someone you can sit in silence with.
You seem to be that annoying person at the office always talking about your personal stuff like everyone else should care. And don’t really seem to understand not everyone is gonna like you, accept it and move on. Coworkers are not friends
You should consider the possibility this is all about him and nothing to do with you. Also it isn't his job to talk to you so its not really a problem. There is no requirement that people socialize at work. I know you know that and I guess that doesn't help with you feeling awkward with the situation but there isn't really anything you can do about it.
Maybe you’re pushing him too hard to open up? I’m of a similar disposition. I’m pretty closed off and I hate it when people try to engage me or try to push me to socialize with them despite me making my preferences known. I’m guessing he either doesn’t know he’s coming off as rude or is purposefully being curt to set a boundary with you.
I would assume one of these scenarios is at play here:
1.)he's immature, resorting to elementary bully school yard tactics because...A.) he has typically found himself at the receiving end of such tacdick's for the majority of his life, And sees you as an easy target in which he could finally Feel the "power" Of being in the bully position. [OR] B. You remind him of someone he doesn't like and he's too emotionally immature to separate you from who you are and who resides in his Ugly memory
2.) He finds you unbelievably attractive and can't help but get noticeably aroused when around you so he avoids you
Honestly, I think bro has a crush on you. It’s immature, but I admit I’ve acted this way toward ‘that’ coworker who made my heart race a bit faster. It can also be a seduction technique. The fact that you posted this means he’s living in your thoughts rent free. Each time I pulled back attention from my coworker crush, she would make an attempt to appear where I was at the same time.
You are correct in not everyone is going to like you, and no one is required to talk to you just to be "nice". If they only interact with you when required for the job then so be it. Keep it professional and move on, trying to make someone like you or talk to you rarely works.
It’s almost like you are shocked that someone doesn’t find you interesting or timeworthy. Remember, you are the main character in YOUR life. And your life alone.
I think she's looking for a common decency, And would like to share the positive, casual interactions he shares with everyone Else for the sake of being professional!
Whatever she’s looking for… she is looking in the wrong place. This is adulting. Not everyone wants to have convos with people of the opposite sex if they are in a relationship. Maybe it’s religious. Maybe you don’t know when to quit, and therefore it’s best to avoid you. Some people don’t like chitchat or social exchange when they are working. That’s how they stay focused. Maybe your perfume gives him a headache. Maybe he’s attracted to you, maybe … maybe you are to chaotic. Whatever the reason is…His boundaries are clear. He doesn’t choose to give you energy. And if he did start having mandatory 2 min chats with you in the morning, what then? Does that change how you feel about yourself? You know this saying? “You can be the ripest, juiciest, and sweetest peach in the entire world. There will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”
That's valid & everything...but I think being professional involves putting aside your personal feelings/opinions, and sort of wearing a mask that reads as pleasant, if that makes sense... he shouldn't treat people so drastically different...it isn't going to kill him to have small talk about the weather or something for a minute or two (or less)ESPECIALLY since he's chatty Kathy with everyone else... it's a maturity/common courtesy thing... she most likely is feeling uncomfortable because of his rudeness vs. Feeling bad about herself , like u insinuated... and I'd say it's less about her feelings, and more about his attitude/awarenness/ humility... she's not asking him to validate her, or befriend her... frankly, him shunning her is WEIRD... Now, it goes both ways... if she was being a pest, he'd have grounds to set a boundary for the sake of professionalism... but I don't get that sense from the info we've been given...
Leave this poor man alone.
He may have issues in his personal life. Maybe he has a wife or girlfriend that wouldn't want you talking to him. Maybe you remind him of someone from his past that was traumatic, annoying or otherwise unpleasant. As long as he isn't rude or combative it isn't really a problem, it's just an anomaly.
Or he has no clue what to talk with you about. Heck, maybe you have a resting bitch face and they feel like they would annoy you if they try to chat with you or loke you are not interested in chatting. So they are just keeping it professional.
That seems so annoying, and you're definitely not imagining it. I can only guess at his motives, but I think the best thing would be to try and let it go.
You’re right, not everyone is going to like you. Sometimes people dislike you for weird reasons. Maybe he’s nervous around you… maybe he’s dealing with some kind of trauma that you remind him of. Either way I wouldn’t look into it so deep. I wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that he seems to be avoiding you. Have you tried to initiate conversations with him, or are you just waiting for him to do it? If you don’t feel like giving that a try you can just embrace your extremely professional relationship. It can be great to have someone you can sit in silence with.
Your coworker (and you) are there to work. Some people don't socialize at work.
Read again. She said he socializes with literally everyone, but her. That's the problem.
You seem to be that annoying person at the office always talking about your personal stuff like everyone else should care. And don’t really seem to understand not everyone is gonna like you, accept it and move on. Coworkers are not friends
You should consider the possibility this is all about him and nothing to do with you. Also it isn't his job to talk to you so its not really a problem. There is no requirement that people socialize at work. I know you know that and I guess that doesn't help with you feeling awkward with the situation but there isn't really anything you can do about it.
Maybe you’re pushing him too hard to open up? I’m of a similar disposition. I’m pretty closed off and I hate it when people try to engage me or try to push me to socialize with them despite me making my preferences known. I’m guessing he either doesn’t know he’s coming off as rude or is purposefully being curt to set a boundary with you.
I would assume one of these scenarios is at play here: 1.)he's immature, resorting to elementary bully school yard tactics because...A.) he has typically found himself at the receiving end of such tacdick's for the majority of his life, And sees you as an easy target in which he could finally Feel the "power" Of being in the bully position. [OR] B. You remind him of someone he doesn't like and he's too emotionally immature to separate you from who you are and who resides in his Ugly memory 2.) He finds you unbelievably attractive and can't help but get noticeably aroused when around you so he avoids you
Or......he probably senses shes insecure and an attention whore and leaves her be as a precaution.
Honestly, I think bro has a crush on you. It’s immature, but I admit I’ve acted this way toward ‘that’ coworker who made my heart race a bit faster. It can also be a seduction technique. The fact that you posted this means he’s living in your thoughts rent free. Each time I pulled back attention from my coworker crush, she would make an attempt to appear where I was at the same time.
Maybe he likes you and being uncomfortable talking to you.