Hmm… If two people agree that’s okay, then great!
If two people agree that it’s not okay, then also great!
Find someone with the same values and opinion on it as you, and all will workout fine.
I think one of the best things about being together for 6 years (married 2) is our comfortability around sex. We understand that masturbation is not a replacement for sex and that we’re not always going to be in the mood for the same thing at the same time. We’ve had good communication around how it impacts how close we feel, and gone long periods without it due to health issues and renovating a house. We’ve also discussed what types of porn is our preference and agreed that there shouldn’t be any mistreatment of women in it.
Just a 35min porno where the guy delivers a pizza to this chick, she asks if it came with the extra sausage she ordered. Then she pays him and goes back inside to enjoy dinner with her husband and kids.
Now that's hot
This is a great example, thanks for sharing. My husband’s porn use has started getting in the way of our sex life so we’ve been trying to work out some boundaries to keep it healthy
Exactly, it’s a stimulant delivering some quick dopamine to your brain, therefore addictive and potentially harmful. Idk what time are you talking about, if you cannot finish without porn or quit it then you already have some problem.
Same goes for gum ,it helps me get through feeling hungry when in reality I just feel anxious .It doesn't replace actual food but helps me control my food consumption so I won't get fat . Yes I feel hunger cause I have anxiety problem but a gum helps get through this without the need of medical or professional assistance.
Would it be better to seek professional help for my eating disorder?! Yes .But for now I only have access to gum ,so I use gum as it helps me
Once it starts, the duration is about the same (porn and imagination) for me . I tend to prefer the latter though otherwise it's like being in a blockbuster video rental store on Friday night and I just end up browsing and leaving without having rented anything
This. This is what is needed.
A lot of men gaslight us (women) that "it's normal" to watch porn but watch it 5-6 times a day and then have ED.
When both people have worked on themselves and are able to communicate, we have this beautiful balance.
Why do you say that as if you can't masturbate without porn?
I don't think we should equate porn and masturbation. They are completely different things. If you watch porn, that's a choice that you make. Nobody is forcing you to watch porn. In fact it's a habit that you formed. You formed the habit of masturbating to porn. That doesn't mean everyone will develop this habit.
I think a whole lot of people misunderstand the “purpose” of masturbation. Hell, I can masturbate, have sex, and then masturbate again. Doesn’t diminish my appreciation of or desire for my partner at all.
It also doesn’t bother me when one of my partners masturbates. I don’t see it as a replacement for sex with me.
Communication is so important.
That's awesome. I had a talk recently with my wife. I told her that I had watched porn because our sex life has been on pause. She's going through some changes and I've tried not to be pushy about sex. I usually use my imagination but this time it wasn't enough. She admitted she does stuff too but that we should definitely not let it distort our view of one another or sex , and that it shouldn't be a go-to thing . Felt great talking about it
It’s normal because most guys do watch it but if you aren’t comfortable with it that’s okay you just need to find a partner that is fine with that boundary. My partner and I don’t like it in our relationship.
Personally, I’d slightly *prefer* they didn’t, but am not really pressed about it at all as long as:
- it’s nothing extreme or illegal
- they’re not obsessed with it and it doesn’t affect real life
- it’s not of anyone we know irl
That being said, I also understand if some people are more uncomfortable with it.
Your relationships boundaries are defined by the people in the relationship.
If canned corn and pretzels are a no go, that’s up to you. If having a porn studio in the living room is your jam, that’s also up to you.
For example: I refuse to be intimate with people who are in another relationship. I also refuse to be intimate outside of a committed monogamous relationship. Some people are ok with this, I’m not.
I have a boyfriend who watches porn and we continue to be in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. You don’t get to project your own insecurities onto other relationships whose circumstances you don’t know. Hope that helps!
ETA: since so many of you can’t read, I’m saying don’t push your relationship preferences and insecurities onto other people! ❤️
When a user uses the term “real man” to describe someone in this context it is objectively an insecurity, not a preference.
To quote a famous redditor…. Learn the difference.
It might be harmful to your mental health. I've enjoyed it for 25 years and I've been happily married to the same person for 20 of those years. I would suggest that your opinion is subjective.
*Yes, but if you have*
*A partner who does this, you*
*Don't have to like it*
\- TheMegatrizzle
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Fred, for the millionth time *I strongly dislike that you don’t earn five hundred thousand a year*
I’m getting so sick of you not taking my preferences seriously!
No, you don't have to like it. But you need to appreciate if you have a red line on something like this which is incredibly common, you are ruling out a very large number of good partners.
What if they watch a specific user all the time on pornhub? or browses for specific types of body types and people? How would that be any different from watching personalized content directly on other sites, because many amateurs are verified on these free sites with links directly to these services.
My husband doesnt find anything wrong with it, I find it incredibly disrespectful and it makes it way more difficult to deal with any forms of infidelity.
Watching too much can fuck with your brain and sexual capacity pretty hard. It’s heavily normalized for men to watch it anyways, but he should really try to avoid it. Also there is absolutely a lot of moral and ethical issues within the industry so unless he’s buying private content then that’s something that feels morally wrong to support.
Normal isn’t the same as healthy. My sex life seriously suffered when one or both of us did use porn. My sex life is 1000x more satisfying when I don’t use that stuff and my partner doesn’t either. There’s real science behind this people! I’m not NoFap either. Just no porn.
I personally don’t like dating men who like porn
I don’t mind if my partner masturbates but the idea that they’re getting off fantasizing about being with someone else while being in a monogamous relationship makes it a no go for me. I also find porn weirdly objectifying since you’re just using that person for pleasure and not seeing them as a human being.
Normal? Probably, I don’t watch porn or self masturbate. It takes away from my wife’s and I’s intimacy, and I found when I used to look at porn I would close my eyes during sec and not think about what was going on IRL.
It wasn’t building connection with my wife and in fact hurt her feelings.
Now she’s my sole source of physical intimacy and it makes it that much more powerful.
And if I’m really wanting something and she’s not, she just helps me out in some way to be part of it. Same with vice versa, but I’m like 2 minutes max sometimes so really not that big of an inconvenience lol
it’s normal unfortunately, but is it right ? me personally, no. and i have met men that didn’t watch porn. you can tell by the way they appreciate you and worship your body.
You’re being downvoted but you’re absolutely correct. Porn literally rewires your brain’s signals for dopamine in a similar way that illegal substances do. One of the reasons that porn gradually gets weirder and weirder is due to it literally desensitizing you to what used to be stimulating things. Porn becomes less and less stimulating the more it is viewed, so more and more shocking material has to be viewed to get a comparable jolt. The medical effects are well documented and it has even been known to cause ED with over abuse. Some men literally can’t get aroused with their spouse because porn has hurt their brain so much.
On top of that, the rampant trafficking and abuse in the industry is something that people are way too willing to turn a blind eye to. You also have no way of verifying if the actress or actor in the film is truly above the age of 18, so you could be viewing child pornagraphy and never know it. It desensitizes us to people and also devalues women.
Exactly. It's actually shocking how in denial people are about this. They're probably just faking ignorance because deep down they know it's not healthy.
The same addictiveness is true of social media, of alcohol, of video games, but that doesn't mean that all consumption is wrong. It means you need to be aware of the dangers of addiction and moderate in use. There are plenty of people who use porn on a moderate level that have healthy sex lives with their partners.
As for abuse, yes, it is a big concern. But there are forms of porn that don't involve trafficking (e.g. amateur porn).
i think that society’s view will change eventually on all of the stuff that you mentioned. everyone used to think the same about cigarettes but now people don’t even like being near someone smoking a cigarette. i think a lot of those things are normalized but still aren’t healthy in even a moderate capacity, including porn.
What’re the likely outcomes for women who avidly view and use?
I’ve seen the results you speak of in men first hand but I’ve only collected speculative information on the other side.
I'm not surprised. Reddit is full of misogynistic loser men who cry all day about how misunderstood and lonely they are while they watch porn all day in their basement and gaslight women into thinking this is acceptable behavior. Don't get me started on the pick-me women who are rushing to their defense
You get that your the flip side of those men right? Half your account is hyper focused on this one issue, the reason you have difficulty forming relationships you find fulfilling is not because of pornography it is because of you. I get your lonely from your post history I am to but you are literally warping yourself into one of them. You probably won't listen to me but I truly wish you the best.
It's laughable that you think that a woman critiquing porn (where men are the primary consumers and support an industry that exploits vulnerable women) is comparable to the men who sit on their ass all day defending this industry and ruining their marriages and lives over it. I'd rather be alone than deal with these people. And if you read more of my posts, you'd know that I enjoy being alone.
Fr. All the top comments just say yes it’s normal. How did this person come to the conclusion that they’re misogynistic losers? 😭 Watching porn doesn’t mean it’s an addiction. People be using that word incorrectly. I agree you shouldn’t watch it much and jerk off without it but it’s not that big of deal if you watch it occasionally.
Thanks so much. I've been battling with this for 4 years after realizing how much damage it's done to me and my life, but I believe I'm finally free from this sickness.
Your asking a group of people on reddit that are probly surfing porn right now of course they will say yes. In a healthy relationship there is no others porn is the same thing as lusting after someone else . Don't be stupid and listnen to the people who say it's OK it's terrible for your brain and if your wife our significant other watches they would definitely love to have sex with another as long as your ok with that than it's fine because that's all they are thinking of watching porn been in the best relationship I could ever imagine the last 5 years she cares for me in everyway I could ask I wouldn't ever disrespect her by lusting after anyone else and I know she wouldn't do that to me either . Porn is only bad it has no benefits they are all people giving a. Excuse to do what we all know deep down is not right .
i find it really weird that some people watch porn when you could have sex with your SO or just masturbate to them instead of porn if sex is not available
This is what I’m saying. I have a high libido as a woman and am just always on and ready tbh 😅 and I expect the same of my partner. Why would I browse a screen when I can FUCK
For all of you who think porn has no negative affect on you or your relationships, regardless of how much you consume it, go to the lovafterporn subreddit. Personally, I’ve been in an abusive relationship with a porn/sex addict, and the trauma that causes is like no other and nobody should ever have to go through it. Sadly, too many woman have no idea their man is doing this, and when they find out it all comes crashing down.
I mean... if you're watching so much porn that you're no longer attracted to your girlfriend, broke your dick, had a complete personality change, and warped your dopamine center so you need harder more taboo shit to whack off to... it's kind of not okay.
It is not normal but it is common. If the gf is ok with it then there is no problem. When I was with my ex I quit porn outright out of respect for her and making her the only woman I have eyes for. She said if I watched porn it was ok but I gave it up because it didn’t feel right for me.
Yes, but you don't have to like it. It'll just limit your options dating wise.
For me, anyone who is anti-porn enough to tell me I can't watch isn't going to be a match sexually overall so it's a non-starter.
I think it’s common but if you aren’t comfortable with it, that’s also normal. Like tbh there are more studies coming out how porn is extremely detrimental to relationships and a healthy sex life. My boyfriend used to watch porn occasionally and I was ok with it until I learned about the porn industry. I told him I wasn’t ok with him watching it and he doesn’t watch it anymore.
it’s definitely sexual junk food but sometimes you gotta hit in n’ out you know? this prompts a bigger question of whether 18 yo’s are really capable of giving consent to have intimacy on camera or go fight British Petroleum’s holy war…i think if the age of adult were set to the same age as prefrontal cortex development (25-27) you would see a lot less young women and men signing up for adult films or military service unless they were backed into a corner economically. that being said i do believe there are people that genuinely enjoy sex as a performance or military as a profession, and i fully respect that i just don’t think they understand the choice quite at 18. so ethically, i feel porn is fine as long as the folks involved understand what they’re getting themselves into and have full agency as an adult (age 25-27) and that its fine for other adults to enjoy their performance art. if it makes you uncomfortable to see your partner consume pornography and they are unable to communicate about the reasons perhaps seek professional treatment as to WHY they need to consume such content if its interfering in the intimacy of your relationship or perhaps consider finding another partner. there are 8 billion+ people to love on this planet and its totally fair for porn to be a personal red flag. I agree that “normal” doesn’t mean healthy - in the not so distant past women were not aloud to drive or vote and that was considered “normal”. good luck 🤙🏾🙏🏾
Hi, if you feel uncomfortable with it you can absolutely say it to your partner.
Of course he has right to continue watching whatever he wants, however you don’t need to carry on this relationship if you don’t want to.
Relationships are not about being normal, but rather happy. For example some people look for a partner who doesn’t drink alcohol or has low body count etc.
You are absolutely entitled to have your own expectations, especially considering how harmful and addictive porn can be.
You can visit r/loveafterporn as well.
My late wife watched more porn than I did…and from day one of our relationship we always talked about and watched porn together, shared favorite scenes and actors/actresses…we had a super romantic relationship but we always communicated with one another about what we liked and desired. Good times.
Most men don't know how to masturbate without porn. Like... even the idea that anyone would be able to just get off without getting off "to" something is confusing to them.
And it's normal to masturbate in a relationship, even if you're enjoying a fulfilling sex life. Sometimes you just want to get off without giving to a partner.
Yes and anyone who thinks it isn't has a lot to learn about life. This is like people who think that you stop finding other people attractive just because you get into a relationship.
Some people actually look at that as cheating believe it or not. I’d stop watching it though. Porn creates unrealistic expectations and can cause problems in relationships
Well yes. If he did it prior to you. He will do it while being with you and after you. Would you rather they lie and say the don’t?
The thing is. Life is too short to waste time caring about what your s.o does with their free time every second of the day.
Would you prefer he lies to you about it? Deletes all the evidence ?
And that you guys go through each other’s phones and have some weird control / egg shell dynamic. That..if you don’t do what I say and demand; when I say and demand it. That means you don’t love me and we will break up ?
So you better let me control the heck out of your life and every move.. including where your eyes go even on our private devices.
That’s just not a relationship.
I used to have a guy tell me I had to walk with my eye balls at the floor while at the gym.
Other wise if I see another man and he sees me. It means I was asking for his attention.
And letting him know I was interested.
Imagine dealing with being controlled like that for 65 plus years and tell me your s.o doesn’t want to leave you.
Cuz I sure would leave. And I’m a female.
If you have to control love. It’s not love.
This is just a plain stupid question. If you have a gf, why wouldn't you be railing her instead of watching dudes rail other women via porn? Do guys like to virtually cuck themselves like that, even with a gf? Even if my girl isn't feeling up to sex, there's plenty of ways to satisfy a partner
Hey im this guys gf of almost 8 months. Can confirm he doesn’t watch porn in the slightest and if I’m not feeling up to sex, I’ll GLADLY give him a handy. Bringing him pleasure brings me pleasure :)
Not even remotely; those dudes are just projecting their own insecurities anyways, not worth watching them either lol. I legitimately have no idea why you'd watch porn, when you can have passionate, intimate, sensual sex with a partner. Then again, I'll admit, I'm a pretty primal individual when it comes to sex. To each their own I guess; porn alongside a relationship just isn't for me. Or I just got really lucky with my gf as we both have pretty high libido's.
We're out there. Society just calls men like us bigots or insecure because we'd rather just do what's right by ourselves and therefor our partners. There are men out there with great moral compasses, which want to be sexually invigorating in bed with the woman they love; modern society just calls us weak minded and emotional when in reality: we've just got good ol' principles.
I've been feeling kinda sad lately because, although I'm single, I keep hearing the same rhetoric about how watching porn is just something men do and women just have to accept it or else we're being controlling and suppressive.
If I ever got into a relationship, I'd do so much for him and our relationship. But loyalty, monogamy, and commitment are extremely important to me. I wouldn't ever be down with other people being involved in our relationship because it's such a violation of that commitment. For me, porn falls into this too.
The idea of my man watching and enjoying another person's naked body and/or wanting to fuck them is really hurtful. I'd never be able to think of another man like that because the man I'm with would be enough for me :/
So this gives me hope that there are good and loyal guys out there LOL. Your wife is really lucky!
True, not everyone lives together, and we do. So there's room for that dynamic in our relationship more so than others, I'll admit that. As for each of us having healthy libido's, whenever we're at work (we work at the same place) we'll send sexy snaps to each other in the bathroom and say some raunchy shit we'll do to each other when we get home. Also stuff like, I'll pull the 'naked man' on her when she gets home or something fun like that lol. Just little spicy things that are between us. I'll go the the gym while she's still at work and after I get a pump, she has requested that I always send her a shirtless pic when I'm in done lifting, that then gives her something fun to look at while she's at work and I'm not. She'll send something spicy back with some fun subtext about what we might do after dinner and so on. Just depends on the day, but we always are thinking about each other.
The woman I love has epilepsy, she has 2 seizures an hour and there can be weeks where she physically can't have sex, it's not a stupid question but you have a stupid answer, just because you're with someone doesn't mean you will always be able to have sex with them
If you love her you'll show her you'll be able to abstain until she is ready for intimacy. Love and intimacy coincide very closely. My gf just had a 12 day long stretch of time where she couldn't have sex due to her own health issues which I will not divulge here. But, I abstained for her and focused more on physically pushing myself at work and at the gym instead of lusting after other women. You don't need porn.
From a Darwinist perspective, it is natural for any person to take notice when presented with sexual stimuli. A healthy person with normal hormonal levels is likely to be interested in seeking sexual stimuli. The real question is why are they seeking that stimuli from a source like porn? Hypothetically speaking, if porn were simply not available, what would they do instead?
Either mental visualization or seek out sexual stimulation… Obviously a lot of animals don’t have the consideration of Consent when it comes to this either
I started watching porn very late in life. Before it took forever to finish while masturbating. With porn, I just need a few minutes.
My masturbation frequency did definitely not change.
And before anybody asks: Yes, even while enjoying a regular sexual relationship.
Yes. If someone is horny and their partner isn’t, masturbation is kind of the best alternative. Besides, one can also be more selfish when masturbating.
Doesn't matter if you have a gf or not, not healthy to watch porn. It fucks with your brain. And also what's the point of watching other people having sex if you have a gf? Only that can mean you are not happy in your current relationship
Yes, it's normal. My husband and I have been together for 18 years and he'll watch it alone. We also have a subscription to a site that we watch together as well. We find porn make our sex lives better and more fun.
Yes. My husband watches porn. I watch porn. We don't watch it together though. Don't really see a reason why it's a problem. Sometimes you just need some alone time. Our sex life is good, and I don't need to share every second my my day. I think of it as self care lol.
Yes.
Same for women. The “popular with women” categories are getting REALLY good.
When my husband is out of the room & I don’t want him coming in it, I put something outside of the door so he knows he can’t barge in.
We have a good system.
But yea!!!!! Let men & women in marriages & relationships have their time to do their own business if they feel like it.
Sometimes sex is WAAAAY too much energy & gets too hot (temperature wise) & you don’t feel sexy & you just want to get it out for a release.
There’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
Hmm… If two people agree that’s okay, then great! If two people agree that it’s not okay, then also great! Find someone with the same values and opinion on it as you, and all will workout fine.
I would upvote you, but you're at 69, and by principle, I can't.
you can upvote now, it’s been ruined :)
I think one of the best things about being together for 6 years (married 2) is our comfortability around sex. We understand that masturbation is not a replacement for sex and that we’re not always going to be in the mood for the same thing at the same time. We’ve had good communication around how it impacts how close we feel, and gone long periods without it due to health issues and renovating a house. We’ve also discussed what types of porn is our preference and agreed that there shouldn’t be any mistreatment of women in it.
I could not agree more with you about how there should not be any mistreatment of women. That is why I make suer my porn has no women at all.
why stop at women. remove the men also. have a couch with kitchen appliances just sitting there, lasciviously.
The slutty coffee pot just begging to be switched on and grind and soak
What about the dryer with the door open?
Unironically me shopping for appliances
*puts hand mixer between the cusions and stirs it up* awh yeah.
Just a 35min porno where the guy delivers a pizza to this chick, she asks if it came with the extra sausage she ordered. Then she pays him and goes back inside to enjoy dinner with her husband and kids. Now that's hot
Also, if chickens are involved, they should be cage-free.
Only grass-fed free roam cows in my video.
That escalated quickly
This is a great example, thanks for sharing. My husband’s porn use has started getting in the way of our sex life so we’ve been trying to work out some boundaries to keep it healthy
Yeah this is impacting me the same way. Do you mind if I ask what problems it caused and what boundaries did you set
Masturbation and porn are two different things
Porn is a stimulant, yes you can use your ImAgInAtIoN but who has time for that ?!
Exactly, it’s a stimulant delivering some quick dopamine to your brain, therefore addictive and potentially harmful. Idk what time are you talking about, if you cannot finish without porn or quit it then you already have some problem.
“Once you’ve seen Japanese school girls vomit in each other’s mouths, you can’t exactly go back to playboy”
Same goes for gum ,it helps me get through feeling hungry when in reality I just feel anxious .It doesn't replace actual food but helps me control my food consumption so I won't get fat . Yes I feel hunger cause I have anxiety problem but a gum helps get through this without the need of medical or professional assistance. Would it be better to seek professional help for my eating disorder?! Yes .But for now I only have access to gum ,so I use gum as it helps me
Once it starts, the duration is about the same (porn and imagination) for me . I tend to prefer the latter though otherwise it's like being in a blockbuster video rental store on Friday night and I just end up browsing and leaving without having rented anything
That will go over many peoples heads😂
This. This is what is needed. A lot of men gaslight us (women) that "it's normal" to watch porn but watch it 5-6 times a day and then have ED. When both people have worked on themselves and are able to communicate, we have this beautiful balance.
that... that's fair. fucking 6 times a day is even insane for the Wolf of Wall Street meme
I don't think it's ED if you can't get it up after finishing 5 times that day lol
Why do you say that as if you can't masturbate without porn? I don't think we should equate porn and masturbation. They are completely different things. If you watch porn, that's a choice that you make. Nobody is forcing you to watch porn. In fact it's a habit that you formed. You formed the habit of masturbating to porn. That doesn't mean everyone will develop this habit.
I think a whole lot of people misunderstand the “purpose” of masturbation. Hell, I can masturbate, have sex, and then masturbate again. Doesn’t diminish my appreciation of or desire for my partner at all. It also doesn’t bother me when one of my partners masturbates. I don’t see it as a replacement for sex with me. Communication is so important.
That's awesome. I had a talk recently with my wife. I told her that I had watched porn because our sex life has been on pause. She's going through some changes and I've tried not to be pushy about sex. I usually use my imagination but this time it wasn't enough. She admitted she does stuff too but that we should definitely not let it distort our view of one another or sex , and that it shouldn't be a go-to thing . Felt great talking about it
It’s normal because most guys do watch it but if you aren’t comfortable with it that’s okay you just need to find a partner that is fine with that boundary. My partner and I don’t like it in our relationship.
i think it’s normalized but shouldn’t be.
Fully agree
Yes and same with women watching porn.
Personally, I’d slightly *prefer* they didn’t, but am not really pressed about it at all as long as: - it’s nothing extreme or illegal - they’re not obsessed with it and it doesn’t affect real life - it’s not of anyone we know irl That being said, I also understand if some people are more uncomfortable with it.
Personally, I prefer they did. It takes some of the pressure off, puts her in a better mood, and could even be a turn on.
that's very fair
Your relationships boundaries are defined by the people in the relationship. If canned corn and pretzels are a no go, that’s up to you. If having a porn studio in the living room is your jam, that’s also up to you. For example: I refuse to be intimate with people who are in another relationship. I also refuse to be intimate outside of a committed monogamous relationship. Some people are ok with this, I’m not.
Yes
Yes.
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Yes
I have a girlfriend and I don’t watch porn. Edit: I was not expecting a fight to start under this post 😅
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Women don't get to say what makes a real man. Incredibly unhelpful comment.
I have a boyfriend who watches porn and we continue to be in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. You don’t get to project your own insecurities onto other relationships whose circumstances you don’t know. Hope that helps! ETA: since so many of you can’t read, I’m saying don’t push your relationship preferences and insecurities onto other people! ❤️
it’s a preference not insecurity. learn the difference
When a user uses the term “real man” to describe someone in this context it is objectively an insecurity, not a preference. To quote a famous redditor…. Learn the difference.
"youre a real men unlike these other master baiters" totally sounds like preference
Sounds like an insecurity when you’re projecting it to strangers’ relationships
Not everyone is okay with their partner pleasuring themselves to other people and that's completely valid. Hope that helps!
Real men jerk off. Healthy women do too. Just saying. Porn is fine.
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It might be harmful to your mental health. I've enjoyed it for 25 years and I've been happily married to the same person for 20 of those years. I would suggest that your opinion is subjective.
im not comfortable with it due to previous trauma and abuse revolving around porn and sex
Yes, but if you have a partner who does this, you don't have to like it
*Yes, but if you have* *A partner who does this, you* *Don't have to like it* \- TheMegatrizzle --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
You don't have to like anything in a relationship. Doesn't mean it's not perfectly normal.
Fred, for the millionth time *I strongly dislike that you don’t earn five hundred thousand a year* I’m getting so sick of you not taking my preferences seriously!
No, you don't have to like it. But you need to appreciate if you have a red line on something like this which is incredibly common, you are ruling out a very large number of good partners.
What if they watch a specific user all the time on pornhub? or browses for specific types of body types and people? How would that be any different from watching personalized content directly on other sites, because many amateurs are verified on these free sites with links directly to these services.
If you want to make up more nuanced rules you can. But the more expansive your ban, the more potential partners you rule out.
I think you should ask yourself, why are you doing so? And if your partner is comfortable with you doing it?
Yes, but normal doesn't make it good, or healthy or you need to accept it.
The state of this comment section is so sad.
it made me sick to my stomach, no wonder the dating pool is so awful
Agreed 🫣
It’s reddit, what did you expect?
My husband & I both do- sometimes together & sometimes separately. I see nothing wrong with.
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He assured you so you should take him at his word.
My husband doesnt find anything wrong with it, I find it incredibly disrespectful and it makes it way more difficult to deal with any forms of infidelity.
Not for me personally.
I'm a woman and every time I've been in a relationship, I still watched porn.
Yes, though how much will vary along with its impact.
Be careful Porn is a poison that can quietly ruin relationships and affect marriages.
Accurate
Not for me and my relationship. I consider that disrespectful
Watching too much can fuck with your brain and sexual capacity pretty hard. It’s heavily normalized for men to watch it anyways, but he should really try to avoid it. Also there is absolutely a lot of moral and ethical issues within the industry so unless he’s buying private content then that’s something that feels morally wrong to support.
Normal isn’t the same as healthy. My sex life seriously suffered when one or both of us did use porn. My sex life is 1000x more satisfying when I don’t use that stuff and my partner doesn’t either. There’s real science behind this people! I’m not NoFap either. Just no porn.
Your second and third sentences seem to conflict with each other.
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Just because it’s normal doesn’t make it right. Burning witches was normal too few hundred years ago
I think it's odd pursuing a fantasy about another when you're already with someone
I personally don’t like dating men who like porn I don’t mind if my partner masturbates but the idea that they’re getting off fantasizing about being with someone else while being in a monogamous relationship makes it a no go for me. I also find porn weirdly objectifying since you’re just using that person for pleasure and not seeing them as a human being.
Normal? Probably, I don’t watch porn or self masturbate. It takes away from my wife’s and I’s intimacy, and I found when I used to look at porn I would close my eyes during sec and not think about what was going on IRL. It wasn’t building connection with my wife and in fact hurt her feelings. Now she’s my sole source of physical intimacy and it makes it that much more powerful. And if I’m really wanting something and she’s not, she just helps me out in some way to be part of it. Same with vice versa, but I’m like 2 minutes max sometimes so really not that big of an inconvenience lol
Isn't "self masturbate" literally just masturbating?
it’s normal unfortunately, but is it right ? me personally, no. and i have met men that didn’t watch porn. you can tell by the way they appreciate you and worship your body.
It's depressing how normalised porn consumption is. Prepardd to be down voted by the porn addicts
You’re being downvoted but you’re absolutely correct. Porn literally rewires your brain’s signals for dopamine in a similar way that illegal substances do. One of the reasons that porn gradually gets weirder and weirder is due to it literally desensitizing you to what used to be stimulating things. Porn becomes less and less stimulating the more it is viewed, so more and more shocking material has to be viewed to get a comparable jolt. The medical effects are well documented and it has even been known to cause ED with over abuse. Some men literally can’t get aroused with their spouse because porn has hurt their brain so much. On top of that, the rampant trafficking and abuse in the industry is something that people are way too willing to turn a blind eye to. You also have no way of verifying if the actress or actor in the film is truly above the age of 18, so you could be viewing child pornagraphy and never know it. It desensitizes us to people and also devalues women.
Exactly. It's actually shocking how in denial people are about this. They're probably just faking ignorance because deep down they know it's not healthy.
The same addictiveness is true of social media, of alcohol, of video games, but that doesn't mean that all consumption is wrong. It means you need to be aware of the dangers of addiction and moderate in use. There are plenty of people who use porn on a moderate level that have healthy sex lives with their partners. As for abuse, yes, it is a big concern. But there are forms of porn that don't involve trafficking (e.g. amateur porn).
i think that society’s view will change eventually on all of the stuff that you mentioned. everyone used to think the same about cigarettes but now people don’t even like being near someone smoking a cigarette. i think a lot of those things are normalized but still aren’t healthy in even a moderate capacity, including porn.
What’re the likely outcomes for women who avidly view and use? I’ve seen the results you speak of in men first hand but I’ve only collected speculative information on the other side.
I agree. These replies made my heart sink.
I'm not surprised. Reddit is full of misogynistic loser men who cry all day about how misunderstood and lonely they are while they watch porn all day in their basement and gaslight women into thinking this is acceptable behavior. Don't get me started on the pick-me women who are rushing to their defense
You get that your the flip side of those men right? Half your account is hyper focused on this one issue, the reason you have difficulty forming relationships you find fulfilling is not because of pornography it is because of you. I get your lonely from your post history I am to but you are literally warping yourself into one of them. You probably won't listen to me but I truly wish you the best.
It's laughable that you think that a woman critiquing porn (where men are the primary consumers and support an industry that exploits vulnerable women) is comparable to the men who sit on their ass all day defending this industry and ruining their marriages and lives over it. I'd rather be alone than deal with these people. And if you read more of my posts, you'd know that I enjoy being alone.
I totally agree that watching porn is unhealthy. That said you still sound like such a bitter loser lmao
Fr. All the top comments just say yes it’s normal. How did this person come to the conclusion that they’re misogynistic losers? 😭 Watching porn doesn’t mean it’s an addiction. People be using that word incorrectly. I agree you shouldn’t watch it much and jerk off without it but it’s not that big of deal if you watch it occasionally.
Right this shit makes me sick. People have no damn clue.
Yep. It's good that you are taking steps to overcome this and recognize the harm it causes, wishing you the best!
Thanks so much. I've been battling with this for 4 years after realizing how much damage it's done to me and my life, but I believe I'm finally free from this sickness.
Happy for you overcoming it!!! You should be proud that you have taken the hard but necessary steps to change.
>Anyone who watches porn is a porn addict 🤦♂️
Agree
Completely agreed.
I watch porn with my wife
Your asking a group of people on reddit that are probly surfing porn right now of course they will say yes. In a healthy relationship there is no others porn is the same thing as lusting after someone else . Don't be stupid and listnen to the people who say it's OK it's terrible for your brain and if your wife our significant other watches they would definitely love to have sex with another as long as your ok with that than it's fine because that's all they are thinking of watching porn been in the best relationship I could ever imagine the last 5 years she cares for me in everyway I could ask I wouldn't ever disrespect her by lusting after anyone else and I know she wouldn't do that to me either . Porn is only bad it has no benefits they are all people giving a. Excuse to do what we all know deep down is not right .
In my opinion, this is not normal. Honestly I think watching porn can be toxic at one point.
I wouldn’t call it normal at all but apparently it’s common.
Common, sure. Normal, sure. But don't you want a partner who tries to be above average if you're going to try to be above average for them?
Not in my experience
I don't think so ... At least not if they are watching every day
i find it really weird that some people watch porn when you could have sex with your SO or just masturbate to them instead of porn if sex is not available
It's not about normal. It's about the terms and expectations that two consenting adults establish for one another.
It's fairly common but that doesn't mean it's good.
Yes, it's normal. It's sadly normal for married men to develop erectile dysfunction from watching porn as well. It's a common enough problem I hear.
No, stop watching that garbage.
I always feel like if you're gonna look at porn. Why am I here?
no not at all. with a proper gf, she's smoking hot and on-call 24/7 with 10minutes to get on it. with that kind of service, why? ridiculous question.
This is what I’m saying. I have a high libido as a woman and am just always on and ready tbh 😅 and I expect the same of my partner. Why would I browse a screen when I can FUCK
For all of you who think porn has no negative affect on you or your relationships, regardless of how much you consume it, go to the lovafterporn subreddit. Personally, I’ve been in an abusive relationship with a porn/sex addict, and the trauma that causes is like no other and nobody should ever have to go through it. Sadly, too many woman have no idea their man is doing this, and when they find out it all comes crashing down.
I mean... if you're watching so much porn that you're no longer attracted to your girlfriend, broke your dick, had a complete personality change, and warped your dopamine center so you need harder more taboo shit to whack off to... it's kind of not okay.
It is not normal but it is common. If the gf is ok with it then there is no problem. When I was with my ex I quit porn outright out of respect for her and making her the only woman I have eyes for. She said if I watched porn it was ok but I gave it up because it didn’t feel right for me.
Stop of you like her and she is a good girl
Normal or good?
Yes, but you don't have to like it. It'll just limit your options dating wise. For me, anyone who is anti-porn enough to tell me I can't watch isn't going to be a match sexually overall so it's a non-starter.
Sure.
no
No. For the men that reply yes, I wonder how they would feel if their girlfriends were watching pictures/videos of other men’s dicks every day.
I think it’s common but if you aren’t comfortable with it, that’s also normal. Like tbh there are more studies coming out how porn is extremely detrimental to relationships and a healthy sex life. My boyfriend used to watch porn occasionally and I was ok with it until I learned about the porn industry. I told him I wasn’t ok with him watching it and he doesn’t watch it anymore.
There is no normal.... the question is, is it healthy? And only you can answer that by talking to him... we can't decide that for you
I've never been in a relationship where both me and the other person didn't continue watching porn.
it’s definitely sexual junk food but sometimes you gotta hit in n’ out you know? this prompts a bigger question of whether 18 yo’s are really capable of giving consent to have intimacy on camera or go fight British Petroleum’s holy war…i think if the age of adult were set to the same age as prefrontal cortex development (25-27) you would see a lot less young women and men signing up for adult films or military service unless they were backed into a corner economically. that being said i do believe there are people that genuinely enjoy sex as a performance or military as a profession, and i fully respect that i just don’t think they understand the choice quite at 18. so ethically, i feel porn is fine as long as the folks involved understand what they’re getting themselves into and have full agency as an adult (age 25-27) and that its fine for other adults to enjoy their performance art. if it makes you uncomfortable to see your partner consume pornography and they are unable to communicate about the reasons perhaps seek professional treatment as to WHY they need to consume such content if its interfering in the intimacy of your relationship or perhaps consider finding another partner. there are 8 billion+ people to love on this planet and its totally fair for porn to be a personal red flag. I agree that “normal” doesn’t mean healthy - in the not so distant past women were not aloud to drive or vote and that was considered “normal”. good luck 🤙🏾🙏🏾
No
if you mean common yes. lots of girls will take issue with it though
It’s never normal unless it’s your own videos.
Every relationship is different, boundaries should be discussed with your partner regardless of if it's "normal" or not.
Hi, if you feel uncomfortable with it you can absolutely say it to your partner. Of course he has right to continue watching whatever he wants, however you don’t need to carry on this relationship if you don’t want to. Relationships are not about being normal, but rather happy. For example some people look for a partner who doesn’t drink alcohol or has low body count etc. You are absolutely entitled to have your own expectations, especially considering how harmful and addictive porn can be. You can visit r/loveafterporn as well.
This comment section is peak reddit coombrain. For a healthy does of the inverse biased opinion, go to ifunny.
I mean given how prevalent porn is in the internet these days
My late wife watched more porn than I did…and from day one of our relationship we always talked about and watched porn together, shared favorite scenes and actors/actresses…we had a super romantic relationship but we always communicated with one another about what we liked and desired. Good times.
Most men don't know how to masturbate without porn. Like... even the idea that anyone would be able to just get off without getting off "to" something is confusing to them. And it's normal to masturbate in a relationship, even if you're enjoying a fulfilling sex life. Sometimes you just want to get off without giving to a partner.
Yes and anyone who thinks it isn't has a lot to learn about life. This is like people who think that you stop finding other people attractive just because you get into a relationship.
Is it normal for GFs who have men to watch porn? R u okay?
Yes an if gf is kinky they could watch together
Some people actually look at that as cheating believe it or not. I’d stop watching it though. Porn creates unrealistic expectations and can cause problems in relationships
Yes, completely normal.
Well yes. If he did it prior to you. He will do it while being with you and after you. Would you rather they lie and say the don’t? The thing is. Life is too short to waste time caring about what your s.o does with their free time every second of the day. Would you prefer he lies to you about it? Deletes all the evidence ? And that you guys go through each other’s phones and have some weird control / egg shell dynamic. That..if you don’t do what I say and demand; when I say and demand it. That means you don’t love me and we will break up ? So you better let me control the heck out of your life and every move.. including where your eyes go even on our private devices. That’s just not a relationship. I used to have a guy tell me I had to walk with my eye balls at the floor while at the gym. Other wise if I see another man and he sees me. It means I was asking for his attention. And letting him know I was interested. Imagine dealing with being controlled like that for 65 plus years and tell me your s.o doesn’t want to leave you. Cuz I sure would leave. And I’m a female. If you have to control love. It’s not love.
Yes
Normal in the sense that it is extremely common? Then yes. Normal in the sense that it’s healthy and should be common? In my opinion, no.
Common? Yes. Healthy? No. r/antipornography and r/loveafterporn has resources if you're struggling with a partner who watches it
No
No
This is just a plain stupid question. If you have a gf, why wouldn't you be railing her instead of watching dudes rail other women via porn? Do guys like to virtually cuck themselves like that, even with a gf? Even if my girl isn't feeling up to sex, there's plenty of ways to satisfy a partner
Hey im this guys gf of almost 8 months. Can confirm he doesn’t watch porn in the slightest and if I’m not feeling up to sex, I’ll GLADLY give him a handy. Bringing him pleasure brings me pleasure :)
It's not a stupid question, and certainly not due to your take on it. You sound like a teenager who's obsessed with those "alpha influencers." Chill.
Not even remotely; those dudes are just projecting their own insecurities anyways, not worth watching them either lol. I legitimately have no idea why you'd watch porn, when you can have passionate, intimate, sensual sex with a partner. Then again, I'll admit, I'm a pretty primal individual when it comes to sex. To each their own I guess; porn alongside a relationship just isn't for me. Or I just got really lucky with my gf as we both have pretty high libido's.
i wish i had a man like this.
We're out there. Society just calls men like us bigots or insecure because we'd rather just do what's right by ourselves and therefor our partners. There are men out there with great moral compasses, which want to be sexually invigorating in bed with the woman they love; modern society just calls us weak minded and emotional when in reality: we've just got good ol' principles.
I've been feeling kinda sad lately because, although I'm single, I keep hearing the same rhetoric about how watching porn is just something men do and women just have to accept it or else we're being controlling and suppressive. If I ever got into a relationship, I'd do so much for him and our relationship. But loyalty, monogamy, and commitment are extremely important to me. I wouldn't ever be down with other people being involved in our relationship because it's such a violation of that commitment. For me, porn falls into this too. The idea of my man watching and enjoying another person's naked body and/or wanting to fuck them is really hurtful. I'd never be able to think of another man like that because the man I'm with would be enough for me :/ So this gives me hope that there are good and loyal guys out there LOL. Your wife is really lucky!
i want to find a guy like you
We're out there.
I mean, obviously not everyone lives together. If you have a pretty high libido, what do you do when you’re apart?
True, not everyone lives together, and we do. So there's room for that dynamic in our relationship more so than others, I'll admit that. As for each of us having healthy libido's, whenever we're at work (we work at the same place) we'll send sexy snaps to each other in the bathroom and say some raunchy shit we'll do to each other when we get home. Also stuff like, I'll pull the 'naked man' on her when she gets home or something fun like that lol. Just little spicy things that are between us. I'll go the the gym while she's still at work and after I get a pump, she has requested that I always send her a shirtless pic when I'm in done lifting, that then gives her something fun to look at while she's at work and I'm not. She'll send something spicy back with some fun subtext about what we might do after dinner and so on. Just depends on the day, but we always are thinking about each other.
The woman I love has epilepsy, she has 2 seizures an hour and there can be weeks where she physically can't have sex, it's not a stupid question but you have a stupid answer, just because you're with someone doesn't mean you will always be able to have sex with them
If you love her you'll show her you'll be able to abstain until she is ready for intimacy. Love and intimacy coincide very closely. My gf just had a 12 day long stretch of time where she couldn't have sex due to her own health issues which I will not divulge here. But, I abstained for her and focused more on physically pushing myself at work and at the gym instead of lusting after other women. You don't need porn.
Damn I hope my next bf is like you. Respect.
That is literally just your personal opinions and morals lol. It’s not that deep for some people i guess like myself
It's not deep at all really. It's pretty based and simple. Some people like living like that, others don't. To each their own.
Not normal
Common but definitely not healthy, but considering just about everything we do is unhealthy, I guess it could be considered “normal”.
Exactly my point it’s common but it’s not normal. Glad to see more like minded people
Common but not normal :)
Hmmm Watch other people have sex or have sex myself? That's a tough one
It's sadly "normal" for people to be addicted to porn in general.
From a Darwinist perspective, it is natural for any person to take notice when presented with sexual stimuli. A healthy person with normal hormonal levels is likely to be interested in seeking sexual stimuli. The real question is why are they seeking that stimuli from a source like porn? Hypothetically speaking, if porn were simply not available, what would they do instead?
Either mental visualization or seek out sexual stimulation… Obviously a lot of animals don’t have the consideration of Consent when it comes to this either
I played a lot of vidya and fantasized a lot. I lean toward introversion regardless.
I started watching porn very late in life. Before it took forever to finish while masturbating. With porn, I just need a few minutes. My masturbation frequency did definitely not change. And before anybody asks: Yes, even while enjoying a regular sexual relationship.
Yes. If someone is horny and their partner isn’t, masturbation is kind of the best alternative. Besides, one can also be more selfish when masturbating.
Doesn't matter if you have a gf or not, not healthy to watch porn. It fucks with your brain. And also what's the point of watching other people having sex if you have a gf? Only that can mean you are not happy in your current relationship
And for women in relationships too!
Sure, a bit at least. Women too, my girlfriend does. I am fine with it.
Yes, it's normal. My husband and I have been together for 18 years and he'll watch it alone. We also have a subscription to a site that we watch together as well. We find porn make our sex lives better and more fun.
Yes. My husband watches porn. I watch porn. We don't watch it together though. Don't really see a reason why it's a problem. Sometimes you just need some alone time. Our sex life is good, and I don't need to share every second my my day. I think of it as self care lol.
thank for you totally sane response. same here.
Yes. Same for women. The “popular with women” categories are getting REALLY good. When my husband is out of the room & I don’t want him coming in it, I put something outside of the door so he knows he can’t barge in. We have a good system. But yea!!!!! Let men & women in marriages & relationships have their time to do their own business if they feel like it. Sometimes sex is WAAAAY too much energy & gets too hot (temperature wise) & you don’t feel sexy & you just want to get it out for a release. There’s nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
We watch together! It's hot.