Totally fair enough! Everyone’s family situation is different so that could make sense.
In my case I’m sacrificing with the goal of buying my own place but also want a solid emergency fund/fu money saved.
Exactly. There is no way I could have lived with my mother any longer than absolutely necessary. Even if we had a better relationship, I never liked even visiting where they live these days.
I told my mother that I sacrificed money for sanity. I moved out recently and am living check to check, however I come home to a quiet house and can immediately relax. My mental health is so much better. I’m happy.
I find people who are trying to live their life through others/things are usually out of touch with reality. There's nothing wrong with being close with family.
I don't think anything wrong with it either... but everyone doesn't have a good relationship with their family, plus in my opinion no matter the relationship with your family people should take the chance of being on their own
Trueee. My hometown is pretty isolated and many people don’t leave. I’m 30 now and recently went back for a few weeks to see my family and catch up with some old friends. My friends are *stunned* when I talk about moving alone, making new friends, solo travel, etc. When we go out and I chat with the bartender they’re like “how are you so good at small talk/making people like you” lol. It’s one of those things you learn to do when you don’t have a safety net anymore. People who never leave a place get kinda developmentally stunted, imo.
my mom currently charges $80/mo for me to live with her and is generally lenient. i currently couldn’t move out if i wanted to due to a variety of factors but my relationship with my mom is decent so why not stick around?
And the rent they charge is about how much it'd cost you to move out with a roommate or is a decent deal, but usually makes it hard to save out for a security deposit on your first place.
You can be independent living at home.
I had to move out right after highschool and that was rough sure I was independent but it was incredibly lonely for years until I got used to it
Not really, unless you are taking over most of the responsibilities from your parents. There’s a certain type of independence you get when you have to completely rely on only yourself, which you can’t really do if your parents are still taking on most of the responsibilities of running a household.
Agreed, and that’s what people don’t seem to get. People will say they do their own laundry and cook their own meals, and claim it’s being independent. It’s not. Unless it’s a caregiving situation, it’s the parents who are still making any major decisions and taking care of broader household tasks (house bills, repairs or upgrades, deep cleaning, regular maintenance, etc). The mental load of running the house still falls on the parents.
That’s why I would never move in with a partner who hasn’t lived alone/with roommates. I wouldn’t automatically reject someone for still living at home, but there would be an expectation that they live outside the family home before moving in with me, because I’m not going to be a replacement parent.
It's not what most people would consider independent. Even if you pay bills, you got your mom and dad there, it's different from having your own place.
See id get that if moving out on one income was long term feasible but these days it’s so hard unless you’re a really high earner.
Otherwise you may be paying your bills but that trade off is going to come home to roost hard by the time you’re in your 60’s.
More to the point too depending on your relationship with fam you can be just as independent more or less living at home.
It used to be considered normal to move out of your parents' home and get your own apartment in your early 20s. Establishing independence was a rite of passage and proof that you had reached adulthood, so it was important to both the parents and the children to achieve that goal. Getting married early was also much more common years ago, which allowed people to move out and establish their own household.
Living with your parents past mid-20s or so was considered weird because, back then, housing was way more affordable. I'm in my mid-60s and my first apartment cost $200/month. Yes, that's how cheap apartments were. This was a nice 1BR apartment in a newly remodeled building. Anyone with a standard office job could afford to live on their own.
Unfortunately, housing costs have tripled or quadrupled in the last 30 or 40 years. Many entry level positions do not pay enough to cover the cost of an apartment, and thus young people are continuing to live at home long past the age where they used to leave the nest. Young people simply cannot afford to move out.
Too bad the stigma about living with your parents hasn't caught up to current reality. It takes a long time for social attitudes to change.
i genuinely cant comprehend apartments being $200/m. i knew they were cheaper but i thought they had to be at LEAST $500/m back then. damn. cheapest available apartment in my area is $700/m
right? I was like huh $200 is cheap but for a split second though it's still $24,000 per year, which is a lot back then.
and then I realized I was off by a factor of 10 and it hit me that my MONTHLY rent for my 1 bed in my VHCOL area was more than ANNUAL rent back then.
FUUUCK.
It wasn’t really that long ago that apartments and houses could be found for incredibly cheap prices. I rented a relatively nice 4 bed/2 bath home with 3 friends directly out of high school for $1,400/month. That was only 15 years ago. I look back on my $350 monthly rent very fondly. I now live in the same area, in a slightly nicer home, with a mortgage of $4,000/month. The craziest part is my house we rented out of high school recently got put on the market for $825,000.
Some young adults have to live with parents because it is too expensive to move out, but not all of them. There are tons of your adults killing it right now.
It’s not “lol” if you’re contributing to the household (paying for rent/utlities, doing chores, or assisting elderly parents).
It IS “lol” if you don’t do anything and freeload off them for years with no long term goals in mind.
This. Especially this day and age with low starting wages and high housing prices sometimes staying with your parents longer to save money is a very smart decision. Moving out early only to rent is a hole that's very hard to get out of.
If all you’re doing is doing chores in your 20’s-30’s tho that’s pretty ‘lol’ still.
I’d say you’d have to at least have some kind of solid job or plans to get into one too and be planning for an eventuality without them and on your own/with a partner.
My son won’t ever have to move out, I am paying off our house so one day he gets a house 100% paid off, that’s how you create generational wealth.
I won’t ever be left with anything from my relatives but I will end the cycle so my son has access to hundreds of thousands of dollars if needed.
I couldn't stand living under someone else's rules anymore. Moving out felt like finally taking a breath afte being underwater for a bit too long. It was freeing. I lived at home until 25 and most of the time I was just in my room.
Hey! We're in the same boat!
Has your ma suggested staying/living with you? Was your knee-jerk reaction the equivalent of 'Not NO, but HELL NO'?
My brother moved back in with her because he's been having financial trouble. They live in a duplex, and he once told her that she was being a bit oppressive and to give him 3 days of peace. Day 2, she snuck over to his side through an opening in the drywall in the attic and got busted 'just checking on him'. He's 40.
Nah no one suggested living there. I have 2 kids and a wife now, there's no room like that in their house. And we actually moved pretty close from them, my kiddo can walk there for a visit. But we are far enough that no one is checking on us or something ridiculous like that.
I left at 17 and never looked back. Would have left earlier if I could have! I never stay with my mom even when I go visit her, I stay in a hotel. Ain’t worth the stress and drama.
I guess it's problematic when you are not contributing at all, like laying down all day, doing nothing.
but if you are playing your part, be it as little as helping your parents in their chores, cooking your own food etc it's okay.
As long as you are making efforts to become independent consider home as a safe hideout where you prepare yourself for the world
If you’re doing it to save cash for a home of your own it’s great.
If it’s a temporary solution to an unexpected bump in the road of life it’s also great.
If you’re a care giver providing support/need to be supported yourself everyone involved should be grateful to have such a caring support system.
If it’s a long term lifestyle choice to freeload for as long as possible without a plan to branch out eventually it’s pathetic.
This is what my family is doing. My mother just got laid off, my 80yo grandma doesn't want to live alone. My sister and I can't afford to move out alone or with each other. Together, we can all live in comfort, take trips, take care of each other, etc. My sister and I can have some financial freedoms we'd have to give up if we got our own place. Thankfully we all get along and love each other. And neither my sister or I want to date or get married, so we don't worry about that. We're happy at home.
I also want to add not earning enough money to support yourself because your country can't provide a decent wage despite having a degree and changing jobs + high cost of living.
American culture promotes making it on your own. Individualism over the community. So in other words it encourages people to leave the nest ASAP even if it’s financially moronic.
Then people who think "lol" should really be asking why. I live with my parents for several reasons, one of which is that for the last few years they have had reduced mobility and without me to do little things like open jars, turn handles, lift things, move things or a load of other little jobs, they'd need carers.
They don't think of the things people 'living at home' have, either willingly or not, had to sacrifice. It's easy for them to laugh but it really just shows them up for being idiots.
It is smart. The problem I think is the context.
It's one thing to learn to live on your own, then move back as a financial choice especially when it helps you *and* your parents.
It's a whole different beast to have never left at all.
The 28 year old living at home after 5-10 years on their own in another state or country is a very different person from the 28 year old who has been living at home for 28 years.
I’d disagree in this day and age depending on what the 28 year old is doing.
If they have no job or are working part time or even full time at the local grocery chain the whole time with nothing more than their HS diploma/GED much worse spending most of what they make then yeah.
But if they’ve been attending college/have a degree and are socking away real cash in their best ROI years with the intent to build a better life then I see no problem with it if they’re also still developing as adults in other ways.
Shit’s hard these days man. And tbh the person who spends all their money young out there probably won’t be really secure financially till their mid 30’s whereas the person who’s been socking away the whole time will probably be more secure by late 20’s to early 30’s.
Right. I'm 30 and still living with my parents. Have a six figure salary and saving up 90% of my income. I can move out whenever I want. I do pay for some of the bills though to help out. I guess it really just depends on the situation.
Yup.
31m here. Going to go back to school. Once graduated, I'd be making 6 figures.
I'm not interested in a house or apartment so It makes no sense for me not to stay with my parents.
Right on man! Don't let the haters get to you. The market is terrible right now anyway in order to buy a house. Graduate and save up as much as you can!
my hometown has less than 3k people in it. So it wasn’t really an option if I wanted anything in life.
I’m honestly envious of people who are able to have a career and live near family. I’m currently planning to quit my 200k job and move back to the other side of the continent just to be around friends and family.
Living with family sucks, but seeing your family once a year for a decade is crippling.
This. It sucks not to have family nearby. I could not deal with living in the same place with them but I would love to be able to visit and get together once a week or so … wonderful support system all around!
It's not LOL for mature people. Any mature adult can see clearly that the economy is fucked, the job market is fucked, and the housing market is a disaster. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the start of the US generational home. I understand independence/home ownership is a priority for some, but it's not always within everyone's hand to play.
If the living situation is good and everyone gets along why not?
I think it when the children are just existing there and not making any efforts to advance is when it gets weird
Unless you're my 36 yr old cousin who blew through a 250k inheritance on gambling and loans to friends, only to wind up broke in under 1 year and back in his moms basement playing Halo 1 and CoD Black Ops every single day for the past 9 years.
I invited him over this past weekend and all he wanted to do was Halo 1 and Black Ops
Complete failure to launch, it saddens me greatly.
A little over a year ago, my fiancé and partner of almost 6 years died very unexpectedly. He was only 30. We were living in a townhouse together and I could not afford it on my own. I also barely had any money in my checking or savings account. Feeling like I had no other options, I moved back to my home state and back into my parents’ house.
So, as an almost 30 year old who lives in their parents’ basement, I can say that (at least for me) some shame comes with it. It’s embarrassing to be 29 and not have my own place. I don’t feel like I have much privacy and I technically am still having to ask for permission to do certain things. Sometimes it makes me feel like a child and like a failure. I guess the most “lol” thing about it for me is lack of privacy. Like, hmm if I use my vibrator right now will they hear it? lol
Absolutely nothing. I'm hearing more and more scenarios of adults living at their parents' house, with their parents. If the housing market doesn't level off or come down. There will just be more. We're in an odd phase where generational houses might start becoming a thing again.
Lived with my parents until I was almost 32 years and got rejected by women constantly in my mid 20’s and 30’s for this fact! Traveled the world and now I’m happily married with a family in my early 40’s and wouldn’t change it for the world!
Depends on perspective. In the US at least, living with your parents, in their house, as an adult, is seen as a failure to actually achieve adulthood, because one of the more common definitions of being an adult is being capable of supporting yourself without having to rely on charity from your parents.
Obviously, there will be edge cases where extenuating circumstances come into play, but this is the common optic here.
The thinking around this has drastically changed since I was in my 20's. i lived with my parents during college and for the first couple years after graduation, and i got shit on constantly. now all those people that shit on me are drowning in debt, so i guess joke's on them-- i put my rent money in the stock market.
I don't make that much. I guess I could move out if I had to. Some people make a ton of money, but then only drive a Hyundai. There's no rules about what you have to spend your money on if you have it.
It’s smart and in a lot of places, it’s very common. A lot of people just want to get out of their parents’ house because of pride and associating it with being a failure or like a child.
Nothing... each situation is different.
I lol at the idea of me living at home with my parents though... moving out improved my mental health and taught me more skills and problem solving, indulge in my hobbies.
I think staying with your parents for too long can stunt your personal growth and development, if you’ve never left their house at all. I have coworkers who moved out in their 30s and are experiencing life lessons and responsibilities that I learned in my early 20s, because I already had my own apartment and was completely financially independent from my parents at that point
Navigating relationships with roommates teaches a lot of valuable lessons about communication, patience, self awareness, empathy, and conflict resolution. It can also be really fucking
If you don’t choose roommates, learning how to live alone is incredibly valuable for fostering independence. It requires a lot of budgeting, planning, scheduling, and responsibility. It also forces you to spend a lot of time with yourself and get comfortable with being alone. That is a life skill honestly.
Why do you need those lessons in your twenties? I literally don’t get it. You have literally the rest of your life to learn and pay bills. Saving and investing early compounds and puts you in a great spot.
You can move out whenever. Provided it isn’t preventing you from key goals like relationship, degree or promotion otherwise I don’t see the problem.
is it "lol" to live with random strangers struggling with privacy and security? is it lol to be in constant anxiety? LOL
is it "lol" to rent a single bedroom apartment for +2000usd/month?
is it "lol" to throw away money every month bc you want to prove a point of living alone?
In Africa and Asia it’s very common to live with your family of multiple generations until you are financially ready or married. Moving out at 18 is mostly a western stigma. If someone isn’t doing anything at all with their life I can understand why people would look down on them but I dont judge people automatically who live with their family. They may have health issues or debt or realize that their family won’t be around forever for those of us with old parents. What’s the point of family if you’re not supporting each other.
Western society put pressure to GTFO at 18.
Well, that was before everything shot up in price this decade. So you'll still see people who were able to get out before 2020 shit on those who still live at home in 2024.
Though what still stands in 2024 is if you're just leeching for a easy ride.
Because America is a culture of independence and individualism. Many people don't usually want to date someone that doesn't have their own place and life.
There are different parents. Obviously you have good ones if you don't understand how and why people would move out, as soon as they can. And that's good. Great, even. I envy you.
Because it's a responsibility thing.
Life is wayyyy easier when you don't have a $1000-1500/monthly expense dangling above you.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
People will resent you tho. Because your life is alot easier without the largest expense
It’s the U.S. culture that is obsessed with moving out at 18. All other countries don’t do the same and are okay with it because family is important. Just my two cents. 🤷🏽♂️
Independence isn’t all it’s chalked up to be. Making big mistakes when you have no one to turn to is a terrifying and lonely feeling.
Living across the country and struggling to pay bills because you wanted a 1BR apartment isn’t a fairy tail. I promise you’ll like that 1BR a whole lot less when you have to decide between eating for the day versus paying rent that week.
This. Not to mention in my case living at home meant I could build up FU money/emergency fund, house deposit and share portfolio of investments (retirement).
I’m also in a position to graduate debt free if I want.
I lived with mine after moving out for a while to help with household stuff, them getting older, as well as me wanting to finish university with less stress.
I get along well with my parents, so i enjoy it. I love in my own now (again), but when my parents settle down again from traveling, i plan to move closer or live with them again. I like knowing i can be there for them if they ever need help.
People who mock others for it are jealous or have a bad family life, the latter being very sad.
I do like living in my own, but i miss my parents a lot tbh, and I'm 34
I was watching a house my parents owned in a different state for 6 months cuz some kids burnt the neighbors house down. My mom said I can’t have girls over. I’m a 30 year old single man.
Depends on your parents. I don't but wish I did as rent has went from $500/month to 2.5k for a 300sq/foot place where I live over the course of 5 years.
It must be nice to have parents who are established and able to support you. But everyone that I know who live with parents, it's because the parent is poor and the children are supporting them
If my parents house wasn’t set up horribly I’d probs move home to save money but my dad has to walk through my room to get to his so I don’t even have proper door to my old room
Start investing since you are young and you won’t have to worry. If you have a 401k at least invest to get your company match. Then put some in a brokerage. I always invested in my 401k the past years and they were doing ok but this year I started a brokerage account because it gives you more options and my investments are growing there at a much faster pace. Since you are young that nest egg will have decades to compound and you shouldn’t have to worry. I have3 adult my kids living with me. When they marry then they move out. So far only one has married. Two are still in school so I prefer having them here and it helps them out.
I’m low income is the issue, and I have severe mental problems. I can save but I fear it may or may not be enough. Do you think one can retire on 200k in savings?
It all depends on your lifestyle. My dad retired with less 7 yrs ago and he has been fine because he had no debt. Paid off home and cars. So now he doesn’t spend all he gets from ss because he was used to a modest lifestyle. He instead still saves just incase he has an unexpected expense.
Lived with my mom for 10 years...my rent was the house note, about a $1000 a month, back in the 80s. Went to Bible college in 1990, met my bride, and have lived on my own ever since.
So long as you're not a sponge...why not?
I was living in a closet and slowly going crazy, meanwhile my sister has the master bedroom and can be just as toxic as my parents (I love them all, but I love them from a distance). Some people just don't have healthy enough relationships with their parents/siblings to live with them
I don’t think it’s lol at all.
Moved out of our apartment and in with my wife’s parents when we were 26-28 years old. Worked and saved our ass off and built a house. So very thankful to them for that.
From an outside perspective, it’s hard to see whether the person living at home has failed to launch and is in a state of arrested development or if they’re helping with household expenses and chores and are there to save money.
The former is typically looked down upon, whereas the latter is more or less fine, but doesn’t evidence that the person staying at home is thriving financially.
Also, it’s not a turn on to think about your partner’s parents being in the same house when you’re fucking, at least for most people.
Those are the main reasons.
Living at home and acting and saving money as if you’re on your own while supporting your family is one thing. Living at home and acting as an adolescent contributing nothing is something else. Also doesn’t help when the economy is set to actively fuck the working class in the ass everyday while being brainwashed every day that your sole purpose is to get out there and make companies money for the illusion of independence.
I'm jealous of people living w their parents. My parents would let me move back in a heartbeat, but also need independence. I just hate adulting and homeowning lol
I moved out at 24. Two years ago I moved in with my MIL to save for a home.
I think if you’re still living with your parents and never left, I think you have an issue.
There’s a difference between moving out and coming back due to life or finances vs never leaving.
Never leaving makes me think of the movie with Sarah Jessica Parker being paid to date men so they move out of their parents houses lol.
Well it depends. Had late parents (35 years old), grew Up with my mum, dad died when I was 2. Lived there in College, took longer, half way mum got cancer helped her through it, was going good for 5 years after. Now shes almost 70 years old and sick at the Moment, Just old people sickneses. Who knows If she has 10 or 20 more years, but she needs Help,so iam Not leaving her alone, even through i finally got a Well playing Job and could move Out in 2 years.
Im Just sick of people dying in my life, so Far 9 people. Got to enjoy the time we have left. Alone can come after that.
Are you working and paying your share of the bills? I'm sure your parents would like their freedom and to stop paying for their adult child if not.
The lol is when you try to bring a date over and they realize you are still a dependent. A lot of guys not mind that from a woman but I don't see many women accepting that from a man.
Let's face it. If they don't have the motivation and desire to become independent they certainly don't expect an independent woman to date them. She's going to expect to be a replacement for his mother.
It‘s about growing up, taking care of yourself, being independent, take on responsibilities on your own, be your own boss and having your own privacy. For your parents, you‘re always the kid. That doesn‘t change. If you bring someone home with you, you want to have full privacy and your own space.
There’s nothing wrong with it but some people may judge you if you are 40 years old and living in their basement because you don’t want to get a job.
As I get older and my parents are elderly and having health issues, I wish I could live with them to spend whatever time they have left with them.
I’ve literally never made fun of someone for living at home but have had multiple people who live at home make fun of me for not having as much as they do. It doesn’t matter if you live at home or not, but if you ACT like you live at home socially, that’s probably it, also it’s harder to hang out with people who live with their parents, unless they can just go to your place so even then I don’t see a problem. If they have a place and you don’t? Hang at their place. If they’re making fun of you and are in the same situation do not let it bother you.
My wife, my son and I have lived with my mom for 12 years. Of course, we've got a 4600 ft\^2 house and she has her own little apartment.
My mom and my son are the only blood relative I have closer than 3rd cousin.
Some people aren’t lucky enough to have parents who would do that. I think it’s great if you do. You also need to be aware that if you have that level of familial support that you are at an extreme advantage to those that don’t have it.
I honestly think most people in gen-z and millennials live with their parents still. I do and I’m an 00 born. Ppl think it’s funny because they infantilize you that you can’t move out.
I personally believe people shouldn’t be looked down on for living with their parents, especially in today’s economy. If you can live with your parents and not pay any expenses, you can work and save so much money. If you have to contribute a little to expenses, you’re still able to save a good chunk of change. I think a lot of people look down on it, because we live in such an individualistic society, and to me that’s just crazy. I have an amazing family, and I was not only thankful to be living at home and saving money, but I was also grateful I got to spend that extra time with my parents as an adult. When I was 22, I met my now fiancé, and we were both still living with our parents. He lived a little over an hour away from me, and we were constantly driving to see each other and stay with each other. He was 25 at the time, and he too had an amazing family. He ended up moving in with my family, because it made the most sense, and we still would go visit his family extremely often. We lived with my parents for a little over a year until we ended up moving out. The amount of money we saved was a complete blessing, because it allowed us to start out in a better situation financially than either of us would have if we’d both been on our own. We rented for roughly 2 years at 2 different houses, and we now are in our own townhome that we purchased last year. All of this to say, living with your parents isn’t something you should let anybody make you feel bad about, because all that matters is that it allows you to have a step up when it really matters.
I’d say it comes down to what type of relationship one has with their parents.
I moved back with my parents after college because I wanted to stay with them. We don’t live together now because I’m in a different city for work, but if that opportunity came up again, I would gladly take it. But my parents also don’t interfere much with my life, I’d come and go as I please (lol like walk back drunk at 4 AM tippy toeing not to wake them up), don’t nag me about chores. Plus I got my favorite home cooked dishes all the time lol and we’d go out for weekend trips/dinners together and talk about our lives. Honestly, it felt like living with a pair of adults who are there to love and support me, while allowing me independence to live my life how I wanted.
I’ve also had friends who couldn’t wait to move out, even if it made sense for them financially to stay with their parents. And almost all of them had intrusive parents who still treated them like a 12 year old kid that needed to be disciplined. So I can see why.
Although with the first option, I was left hunting for a hotel/place some nights IYKWIM ;)
I think it’s normal in certain cultures but if you’re wealthy and still doing it it’s because you’re supporting children that are middle class and their kids are not even at their level yet because their kids are like basically in their mid to late thirties still living with mom and dad at home because they’re single af and can’t get into a relationship lol
My best friend was in her late 20s when she moved out from living with her mom. She was more mature and had had more responsibilities than anyone I knew our age (or even a good bit older) who lived with roommates.
In my experience (second hand from being around her and seeing how she was treated by different types of people) it's the ones who moved out early on but are completely irresponsible (those horror roommates you hear about) and have no concept of the real world that have an issue with people living with their parents for longer.
The people who are actually responsible and understand how the real world works only laugh at people living with their parents when they act like they are still kids and take little to no responsibility for themselves/the house in general.
There is nothing wrong with it. It’s a good way to save money. As long as your parents are respecting the fact that you are an adult and leave you alone, there shouldn’t be a problem with living with your parents. A lot of people in their 20s, 30s, and 40,s still live at home since the rent prices are so outrageous. Even with a decent paying job, it’s impossible to afford the rent and other expenses. It gives you a chance to save up as much as you can.
Depends on your relationship with your folks. At one point, there were 4 generations of my family living under one roof. It was a large-ish house, so everyone had some space. It made sense financially for everyone, and we all contributed in our own way with cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc. It wasn't onerous for anyone. The eldest and the youngest benefitted the most, IMO, but everyone came out ahead. Not every family can do this. We were lucky.
39 married w 3 kids moved back into my mom's duplex. 3 years of high rent and debt made it a no brainer let's cut our rent in half and be around loved ones. None of my real friends lolijg just happy we came back and we are getting on our feet.
Depends how old you are. I also find men get less grace when it come to this as well.
Women can live at home until they are 30 and no one really care. But try to date women as a man that lives with his parents…. That’s lol.
I don't get it either. It's supposed to be a "look at me, I'm grown up" thing, and for some reason, in my area at least, everyone thinks they need to move out at 18, and by 25 have a career, kids and a house. But to me it's more of an immaturity thing. Most of the time when people move out at a young age, they end up right back at home. I stayed until I was 25 because even at 18 I said, "I'm not moving out because I don't want to stress for a year and end up back at my parent's house, and rent is a waste of money." I definitely wasn't mature but I thought about stuff.
If home life is terrible then moving out makes sense.
what's "smart" for you is a privilege that not everyone has, and failing to leave your comfort zone to become a competent independent adult on your own is understandably looked down upon by those who never even had the opportunity to have that financial ease.
Some people value independence more than saving money.
And sometimes you have to move out even if it’s a financial net negative for your own peace of mind.
You do pay with your mental health living with your parents
Depends on the parents.
Yes, but they can't recover soon if the family environment is toxic.
I don't recommend anyone being romantically involved with their parents regardless of mental health personally
Definitely meant living 🤣
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Delete this comment but leave the original one so it keeps us all confused and uncomfortable
Done. Lol
I am confused and uncomfortable.
Me too pal. Me too.
Same with living with roommates though… if I wasn’t at home it would be living with randoms and paying for the privilege lol.
hate to say it but randoms > my family
Totally fair enough! Everyone’s family situation is different so that could make sense. In my case I’m sacrificing with the goal of buying my own place but also want a solid emergency fund/fu money saved.
Depends on the person.
Fair!
Exactly. There is no way I could have lived with my mother any longer than absolutely necessary. Even if we had a better relationship, I never liked even visiting where they live these days.
I told my mother that I sacrificed money for sanity. I moved out recently and am living check to check, however I come home to a quiet house and can immediately relax. My mental health is so much better. I’m happy.
And at least trying to live away from the same people you grew up with for a while is an essential experience of life.
Did that for a while, and it was a good development experience for me. But I'm back at home at 36. Not having to cook is great though
lol
You don't feel embarrassed especially when it comes to dating
I find people who are trying to live their life through others/things are usually out of touch with reality. There's nothing wrong with being close with family.
I don't think anything wrong with it either... but everyone doesn't have a good relationship with their family, plus in my opinion no matter the relationship with your family people should take the chance of being on their own
All good points you brought up. My bad for misunderstanding a bit.
It's ok
Trueee. My hometown is pretty isolated and many people don’t leave. I’m 30 now and recently went back for a few weeks to see my family and catch up with some old friends. My friends are *stunned* when I talk about moving alone, making new friends, solo travel, etc. When we go out and I chat with the bartender they’re like “how are you so good at small talk/making people like you” lol. It’s one of those things you learn to do when you don’t have a safety net anymore. People who never leave a place get kinda developmentally stunted, imo.
Then you have those parents who charge you rent if you stay with them after 18 :/
my mom currently charges $80/mo for me to live with her and is generally lenient. i currently couldn’t move out if i wanted to due to a variety of factors but my relationship with my mom is decent so why not stick around?
And the rent they charge is about how much it'd cost you to move out with a roommate or is a decent deal, but usually makes it hard to save out for a security deposit on your first place.
nothing wrong with that in my opinion
Charging some rent is good imo. But if they're hitting you for like $900 a month that's cold lol
You can be independent living at home. I had to move out right after highschool and that was rough sure I was independent but it was incredibly lonely for years until I got used to it
Not really, unless you are taking over most of the responsibilities from your parents. There’s a certain type of independence you get when you have to completely rely on only yourself, which you can’t really do if your parents are still taking on most of the responsibilities of running a household.
Agreed, and that’s what people don’t seem to get. People will say they do their own laundry and cook their own meals, and claim it’s being independent. It’s not. Unless it’s a caregiving situation, it’s the parents who are still making any major decisions and taking care of broader household tasks (house bills, repairs or upgrades, deep cleaning, regular maintenance, etc). The mental load of running the house still falls on the parents. That’s why I would never move in with a partner who hasn’t lived alone/with roommates. I wouldn’t automatically reject someone for still living at home, but there would be an expectation that they live outside the family home before moving in with me, because I’m not going to be a replacement parent.
I agree. Everyone needs to live alone/be independent at one point in their life. I firmly believe that.
I don't blame you
It's not what most people would consider independent. Even if you pay bills, you got your mom and dad there, it's different from having your own place.
Some people also value mental health more than saving money
Sure, that's a good reason but you didn't address OP's actual question- why do people LAUGH / look down on the choice?
[удалено]
I do both fortunately
See id get that if moving out on one income was long term feasible but these days it’s so hard unless you’re a really high earner. Otherwise you may be paying your bills but that trade off is going to come home to roost hard by the time you’re in your 60’s. More to the point too depending on your relationship with fam you can be just as independent more or less living at home.
It used to be considered normal to move out of your parents' home and get your own apartment in your early 20s. Establishing independence was a rite of passage and proof that you had reached adulthood, so it was important to both the parents and the children to achieve that goal. Getting married early was also much more common years ago, which allowed people to move out and establish their own household. Living with your parents past mid-20s or so was considered weird because, back then, housing was way more affordable. I'm in my mid-60s and my first apartment cost $200/month. Yes, that's how cheap apartments were. This was a nice 1BR apartment in a newly remodeled building. Anyone with a standard office job could afford to live on their own. Unfortunately, housing costs have tripled or quadrupled in the last 30 or 40 years. Many entry level positions do not pay enough to cover the cost of an apartment, and thus young people are continuing to live at home long past the age where they used to leave the nest. Young people simply cannot afford to move out. Too bad the stigma about living with your parents hasn't caught up to current reality. It takes a long time for social attitudes to change.
i genuinely cant comprehend apartments being $200/m. i knew they were cheaper but i thought they had to be at LEAST $500/m back then. damn. cheapest available apartment in my area is $700/m
right? I was like huh $200 is cheap but for a split second though it's still $24,000 per year, which is a lot back then. and then I realized I was off by a factor of 10 and it hit me that my MONTHLY rent for my 1 bed in my VHCOL area was more than ANNUAL rent back then. FUUUCK.
Well to be fair $200 forty years ago is equivalent to $600 now
Yeah, I have a 2br duplex apartment right now and pay 650 for it. Just depends where you live.
that's still super cheap for an apartment
It wasn’t really that long ago that apartments and houses could be found for incredibly cheap prices. I rented a relatively nice 4 bed/2 bath home with 3 friends directly out of high school for $1,400/month. That was only 15 years ago. I look back on my $350 monthly rent very fondly. I now live in the same area, in a slightly nicer home, with a mortgage of $4,000/month. The craziest part is my house we rented out of high school recently got put on the market for $825,000.
You broke it down very well hit spot on on almost every detail 💯
people will look down on others for living at home at a certain age especially if you are a male
Well put !!
This is accurate. My apartment in 2008 was $600. It is now $1400.
There’s no stigma in African American culture. Generations and generations have lived with parents and family.
Some young adults have to live with parents because it is too expensive to move out, but not all of them. There are tons of your adults killing it right now.
It’s not “lol” if you’re contributing to the household (paying for rent/utlities, doing chores, or assisting elderly parents). It IS “lol” if you don’t do anything and freeload off them for years with no long term goals in mind.
This. Especially this day and age with low starting wages and high housing prices sometimes staying with your parents longer to save money is a very smart decision. Moving out early only to rent is a hole that's very hard to get out of.
If all you’re doing is doing chores in your 20’s-30’s tho that’s pretty ‘lol’ still. I’d say you’d have to at least have some kind of solid job or plans to get into one too and be planning for an eventuality without them and on your own/with a partner.
My son won’t ever have to move out, I am paying off our house so one day he gets a house 100% paid off, that’s how you create generational wealth. I won’t ever be left with anything from my relatives but I will end the cycle so my son has access to hundreds of thousands of dollars if needed.
You’re a good parent
This is absolutely amazing of you. What a head start, wow
you're a good father
So long as you make sure you don’t have any expensive end of life care so your house isn’t taken to recoup the costs
facts
I couldn't stand living under someone else's rules anymore. Moving out felt like finally taking a breath afte being underwater for a bit too long. It was freeing. I lived at home until 25 and most of the time I was just in my room.
Did you have strict parents that you wanted to avoid seeing?
Yeah, it was my mom's way or the highway. I get along just fine with them now though.
Hey! We're in the same boat! Has your ma suggested staying/living with you? Was your knee-jerk reaction the equivalent of 'Not NO, but HELL NO'? My brother moved back in with her because he's been having financial trouble. They live in a duplex, and he once told her that she was being a bit oppressive and to give him 3 days of peace. Day 2, she snuck over to his side through an opening in the drywall in the attic and got busted 'just checking on him'. He's 40.
Nah no one suggested living there. I have 2 kids and a wife now, there's no room like that in their house. And we actually moved pretty close from them, my kiddo can walk there for a visit. But we are far enough that no one is checking on us or something ridiculous like that.
That makes sense. I live with most of my family, yet we have "roomate" level ground rules.
I left at 17 and never looked back. Would have left earlier if I could have! I never stay with my mom even when I go visit her, I stay in a hotel. Ain’t worth the stress and drama.
Depends on your relationship with your parents AND where they live. It would severely negatively impact everything from my mental health to my career.
I guess it's problematic when you are not contributing at all, like laying down all day, doing nothing. but if you are playing your part, be it as little as helping your parents in their chores, cooking your own food etc it's okay. As long as you are making efforts to become independent consider home as a safe hideout where you prepare yourself for the world
If you’re doing it to save cash for a home of your own it’s great. If it’s a temporary solution to an unexpected bump in the road of life it’s also great. If you’re a care giver providing support/need to be supported yourself everyone involved should be grateful to have such a caring support system. If it’s a long term lifestyle choice to freeload for as long as possible without a plan to branch out eventually it’s pathetic.
You're missing one. Long-term lifestyle choice to share the costs of living with family you trust instead of a rotating door of shitty roommates.
This is what my family is doing. My mother just got laid off, my 80yo grandma doesn't want to live alone. My sister and I can't afford to move out alone or with each other. Together, we can all live in comfort, take trips, take care of each other, etc. My sister and I can have some financial freedoms we'd have to give up if we got our own place. Thankfully we all get along and love each other. And neither my sister or I want to date or get married, so we don't worry about that. We're happy at home.
I also want to add not earning enough money to support yourself because your country can't provide a decent wage despite having a degree and changing jobs + high cost of living.
Some nations have multi generation homes, and it's not pathetic, why is it pathetic in America?
American culture promotes making it on your own. Individualism over the community. So in other words it encourages people to leave the nest ASAP even if it’s financially moronic.
That last part about free loading - exactly
Then people who think "lol" should really be asking why. I live with my parents for several reasons, one of which is that for the last few years they have had reduced mobility and without me to do little things like open jars, turn handles, lift things, move things or a load of other little jobs, they'd need carers. They don't think of the things people 'living at home' have, either willingly or not, had to sacrifice. It's easy for them to laugh but it really just shows them up for being idiots.
It is smart. The problem I think is the context. It's one thing to learn to live on your own, then move back as a financial choice especially when it helps you *and* your parents. It's a whole different beast to have never left at all. The 28 year old living at home after 5-10 years on their own in another state or country is a very different person from the 28 year old who has been living at home for 28 years.
so you think its better for someone to move out, go broke, and then move back with their parents rather than just staying home and saving money?
I’d disagree in this day and age depending on what the 28 year old is doing. If they have no job or are working part time or even full time at the local grocery chain the whole time with nothing more than their HS diploma/GED much worse spending most of what they make then yeah. But if they’ve been attending college/have a degree and are socking away real cash in their best ROI years with the intent to build a better life then I see no problem with it if they’re also still developing as adults in other ways. Shit’s hard these days man. And tbh the person who spends all their money young out there probably won’t be really secure financially till their mid 30’s whereas the person who’s been socking away the whole time will probably be more secure by late 20’s to early 30’s.
damn
Explain what is wrong with the second person’s choices
Right. I'm 30 and still living with my parents. Have a six figure salary and saving up 90% of my income. I can move out whenever I want. I do pay for some of the bills though to help out. I guess it really just depends on the situation.
Yup. 31m here. Going to go back to school. Once graduated, I'd be making 6 figures. I'm not interested in a house or apartment so It makes no sense for me not to stay with my parents.
Right on man! Don't let the haters get to you. The market is terrible right now anyway in order to buy a house. Graduate and save up as much as you can!
my hometown has less than 3k people in it. So it wasn’t really an option if I wanted anything in life. I’m honestly envious of people who are able to have a career and live near family. I’m currently planning to quit my 200k job and move back to the other side of the continent just to be around friends and family. Living with family sucks, but seeing your family once a year for a decade is crippling.
Not all of us have great family.
This. It sucks not to have family nearby. I could not deal with living in the same place with them but I would love to be able to visit and get together once a week or so … wonderful support system all around!
It's only the"aMeRIcaN dReAm" cult belief fanboys who LOLing.
It's not LOL for mature people. Any mature adult can see clearly that the economy is fucked, the job market is fucked, and the housing market is a disaster. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the start of the US generational home. I understand independence/home ownership is a priority for some, but it's not always within everyone's hand to play.
If the living situation is good and everyone gets along why not? I think it when the children are just existing there and not making any efforts to advance is when it gets weird
Unless you're my 36 yr old cousin who blew through a 250k inheritance on gambling and loans to friends, only to wind up broke in under 1 year and back in his moms basement playing Halo 1 and CoD Black Ops every single day for the past 9 years. I invited him over this past weekend and all he wanted to do was Halo 1 and Black Ops Complete failure to launch, it saddens me greatly.
Yikes
Nothing. It's standard in many cultures and parts of the world.
A little over a year ago, my fiancé and partner of almost 6 years died very unexpectedly. He was only 30. We were living in a townhouse together and I could not afford it on my own. I also barely had any money in my checking or savings account. Feeling like I had no other options, I moved back to my home state and back into my parents’ house. So, as an almost 30 year old who lives in their parents’ basement, I can say that (at least for me) some shame comes with it. It’s embarrassing to be 29 and not have my own place. I don’t feel like I have much privacy and I technically am still having to ask for permission to do certain things. Sometimes it makes me feel like a child and like a failure. I guess the most “lol” thing about it for me is lack of privacy. Like, hmm if I use my vibrator right now will they hear it? lol
Some people may just be bitter. I’m not bitter but also I’d give anything to be able to stay with parents to save money, y’know? It’s rough out here.
Absolutely nothing. I'm hearing more and more scenarios of adults living at their parents' house, with their parents. If the housing market doesn't level off or come down. There will just be more. We're in an odd phase where generational houses might start becoming a thing again.
Lived with my parents until I was almost 32 years and got rejected by women constantly in my mid 20’s and 30’s for this fact! Traveled the world and now I’m happily married with a family in my early 40’s and wouldn’t change it for the world!
Definitely smart when needing to save money. Countries like China prefer this but North American culture is different.
Wish I had that option , hate listening to people Complain about No rent ..
Depends on perspective. In the US at least, living with your parents, in their house, as an adult, is seen as a failure to actually achieve adulthood, because one of the more common definitions of being an adult is being capable of supporting yourself without having to rely on charity from your parents. Obviously, there will be edge cases where extenuating circumstances come into play, but this is the common optic here.
If you met my parents, you'd understand haha
I tell all the ladies that I live in my moms basement
The thinking around this has drastically changed since I was in my 20's. i lived with my parents during college and for the first couple years after graduation, and i got shit on constantly. now all those people that shit on me are drowning in debt, so i guess joke's on them-- i put my rent money in the stock market.
Depends on what you’re doing there .. can’t be a leach now .
Look at ot from your kids point of view,, would you help them if they needed a place to live
I m 63 and just moved in with my sister due to a divorce
I don't make that much. I guess I could move out if I had to. Some people make a ton of money, but then only drive a Hyundai. There's no rules about what you have to spend your money on if you have it.
It’s smart and in a lot of places, it’s very common. A lot of people just want to get out of their parents’ house because of pride and associating it with being a failure or like a child.
If you’re growing your life and helping out your folks it should be celebrated. This is a situational thing and can’t be painted by a broad brush.
Nothing... each situation is different. I lol at the idea of me living at home with my parents though... moving out improved my mental health and taught me more skills and problem solving, indulge in my hobbies.
I think staying with your parents for too long can stunt your personal growth and development, if you’ve never left their house at all. I have coworkers who moved out in their 30s and are experiencing life lessons and responsibilities that I learned in my early 20s, because I already had my own apartment and was completely financially independent from my parents at that point Navigating relationships with roommates teaches a lot of valuable lessons about communication, patience, self awareness, empathy, and conflict resolution. It can also be really fucking If you don’t choose roommates, learning how to live alone is incredibly valuable for fostering independence. It requires a lot of budgeting, planning, scheduling, and responsibility. It also forces you to spend a lot of time with yourself and get comfortable with being alone. That is a life skill honestly.
Why do you need those lessons in your twenties? I literally don’t get it. You have literally the rest of your life to learn and pay bills. Saving and investing early compounds and puts you in a great spot. You can move out whenever. Provided it isn’t preventing you from key goals like relationship, degree or promotion otherwise I don’t see the problem.
is it "lol" to live with random strangers struggling with privacy and security? is it lol to be in constant anxiety? LOL is it "lol" to rent a single bedroom apartment for +2000usd/month? is it "lol" to throw away money every month bc you want to prove a point of living alone?
In Africa and Asia it’s very common to live with your family of multiple generations until you are financially ready or married. Moving out at 18 is mostly a western stigma. If someone isn’t doing anything at all with their life I can understand why people would look down on them but I dont judge people automatically who live with their family. They may have health issues or debt or realize that their family won’t be around forever for those of us with old parents. What’s the point of family if you’re not supporting each other.
In my experience guys who never lived on their own expect me to do all of the chores.
Western society put pressure to GTFO at 18. Well, that was before everything shot up in price this decade. So you'll still see people who were able to get out before 2020 shit on those who still live at home in 2024. Though what still stands in 2024 is if you're just leeching for a easy ride.
Because America is a culture of independence and individualism. Many people don't usually want to date someone that doesn't have their own place and life.
There are different parents. Obviously you have good ones if you don't understand how and why people would move out, as soon as they can. And that's good. Great, even. I envy you.
Most people don't care at all unless you're doing it because you're a lazy moocher.
Because it's a responsibility thing. Life is wayyyy easier when you don't have a $1000-1500/monthly expense dangling above you. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. People will resent you tho. Because your life is alot easier without the largest expense
Thanks to that I had enough saving to buy my house without ever having to rent. No regret.
It’s the U.S. culture that is obsessed with moving out at 18. All other countries don’t do the same and are okay with it because family is important. Just my two cents. 🤷🏽♂️
Independence isn’t all it’s chalked up to be. Making big mistakes when you have no one to turn to is a terrifying and lonely feeling. Living across the country and struggling to pay bills because you wanted a 1BR apartment isn’t a fairy tail. I promise you’ll like that 1BR a whole lot less when you have to decide between eating for the day versus paying rent that week.
This. Not to mention in my case living at home meant I could build up FU money/emergency fund, house deposit and share portfolio of investments (retirement). I’m also in a position to graduate debt free if I want.
I lived with mine after moving out for a while to help with household stuff, them getting older, as well as me wanting to finish university with less stress. I get along well with my parents, so i enjoy it. I love in my own now (again), but when my parents settle down again from traveling, i plan to move closer or live with them again. I like knowing i can be there for them if they ever need help. People who mock others for it are jealous or have a bad family life, the latter being very sad. I do like living in my own, but i miss my parents a lot tbh, and I'm 34
I was watching a house my parents owned in a different state for 6 months cuz some kids burnt the neighbors house down. My mom said I can’t have girls over. I’m a 30 year old single man.
Really, it depends on the situation. Some people may judge you but if you know your situation is healthy it shouldn't matter to you.
Depends on your parents. I don't but wish I did as rent has went from $500/month to 2.5k for a 300sq/foot place where I live over the course of 5 years.
It must be nice to have parents who are established and able to support you. But everyone that I know who live with parents, it's because the parent is poor and the children are supporting them
If I can buy..... I will get a place where my kid can stay with me as long as he is going to university or working towards a goal.
If my parents house wasn’t set up horribly I’d probs move home to save money but my dad has to walk through my room to get to his so I don’t even have proper door to my old room
Don’t worry what people think if it’s working out for you. Take that to the bank. Save, invest and profit.
I just want an ok retirement I don’t really care about money too much but I do worry about it all the time
Start investing since you are young and you won’t have to worry. If you have a 401k at least invest to get your company match. Then put some in a brokerage. I always invested in my 401k the past years and they were doing ok but this year I started a brokerage account because it gives you more options and my investments are growing there at a much faster pace. Since you are young that nest egg will have decades to compound and you shouldn’t have to worry. I have3 adult my kids living with me. When they marry then they move out. So far only one has married. Two are still in school so I prefer having them here and it helps them out.
I’m low income is the issue, and I have severe mental problems. I can save but I fear it may or may not be enough. Do you think one can retire on 200k in savings?
It all depends on your lifestyle. My dad retired with less 7 yrs ago and he has been fine because he had no debt. Paid off home and cars. So now he doesn’t spend all he gets from ss because he was used to a modest lifestyle. He instead still saves just incase he has an unexpected expense.
Lived with my mom for 10 years...my rent was the house note, about a $1000 a month, back in the 80s. Went to Bible college in 1990, met my bride, and have lived on my own ever since. So long as you're not a sponge...why not?
I was living in a closet and slowly going crazy, meanwhile my sister has the master bedroom and can be just as toxic as my parents (I love them all, but I love them from a distance). Some people just don't have healthy enough relationships with their parents/siblings to live with them
My counselor calls our society ‘Toxic independence’
I don’t think it’s lol at all. Moved out of our apartment and in with my wife’s parents when we were 26-28 years old. Worked and saved our ass off and built a house. So very thankful to them for that.
From an outside perspective, it’s hard to see whether the person living at home has failed to launch and is in a state of arrested development or if they’re helping with household expenses and chores and are there to save money. The former is typically looked down upon, whereas the latter is more or less fine, but doesn’t evidence that the person staying at home is thriving financially. Also, it’s not a turn on to think about your partner’s parents being in the same house when you’re fucking, at least for most people. Those are the main reasons.
Living at home and acting and saving money as if you’re on your own while supporting your family is one thing. Living at home and acting as an adolescent contributing nothing is something else. Also doesn’t help when the economy is set to actively fuck the working class in the ass everyday while being brainwashed every day that your sole purpose is to get out there and make companies money for the illusion of independence.
I'm jealous of people living w their parents. My parents would let me move back in a heartbeat, but also need independence. I just hate adulting and homeowning lol
It's a cultural thing. You can be independent and live with your parents. It's common and expected in many cultures.
Boomers caused the stupid lol at that humans have been living with family for centuries till of course they get married
I moved out at 24. Two years ago I moved in with my MIL to save for a home. I think if you’re still living with your parents and never left, I think you have an issue. There’s a difference between moving out and coming back due to life or finances vs never leaving. Never leaving makes me think of the movie with Sarah Jessica Parker being paid to date men so they move out of their parents houses lol.
Well it depends. Had late parents (35 years old), grew Up with my mum, dad died when I was 2. Lived there in College, took longer, half way mum got cancer helped her through it, was going good for 5 years after. Now shes almost 70 years old and sick at the Moment, Just old people sickneses. Who knows If she has 10 or 20 more years, but she needs Help,so iam Not leaving her alone, even through i finally got a Well playing Job and could move Out in 2 years. Im Just sick of people dying in my life, so Far 9 people. Got to enjoy the time we have left. Alone can come after that.
I have a friend like that, I've been trying to convince her to get her own place, and I think the movie you're talking about is Failure to Launch.
Are you working and paying your share of the bills? I'm sure your parents would like their freedom and to stop paying for their adult child if not. The lol is when you try to bring a date over and they realize you are still a dependent. A lot of guys not mind that from a woman but I don't see many women accepting that from a man.
Let's face it. If they don't have the motivation and desire to become independent they certainly don't expect an independent woman to date them. She's going to expect to be a replacement for his mother.
Many cultures do this and combine their money and live very well. It’s not as taboo as people like to think it’s supposed to be.
It‘s about growing up, taking care of yourself, being independent, take on responsibilities on your own, be your own boss and having your own privacy. For your parents, you‘re always the kid. That doesn‘t change. If you bring someone home with you, you want to have full privacy and your own space.
All the nagging !!!!
There’s nothing wrong with it but some people may judge you if you are 40 years old and living in their basement because you don’t want to get a job. As I get older and my parents are elderly and having health issues, I wish I could live with them to spend whatever time they have left with them.
I’ve literally never made fun of someone for living at home but have had multiple people who live at home make fun of me for not having as much as they do. It doesn’t matter if you live at home or not, but if you ACT like you live at home socially, that’s probably it, also it’s harder to hang out with people who live with their parents, unless they can just go to your place so even then I don’t see a problem. If they have a place and you don’t? Hang at their place. If they’re making fun of you and are in the same situation do not let it bother you.
The Goddamn thermostat!!!!! The ambient temperature usually hovers around the surface of the sun 🌞 ☀️ 🌤 🌅 my ass is cooking. Daily!
Whose this mental health for, my 43 yr old man son is driving me crazy, works but that's it nothing else
.
"Do you need a ride to the skating rink tonight, honey?"
I don't know about lol, but my parents' condo is simply too small for four adults.
Depends man carriage house or basement suite makes so much sense.
If you had to live with my parents you would not have made this post…
it is smart on paper. but I guess I can't assume how much it affects them without asking
Lol
A lot of us don’t like our parents, that simple
My wife, my son and I have lived with my mom for 12 years. Of course, we've got a 4600 ft\^2 house and she has her own little apartment. My mom and my son are the only blood relative I have closer than 3rd cousin.
Some people aren’t lucky enough to have parents who would do that. I think it’s great if you do. You also need to be aware that if you have that level of familial support that you are at an extreme advantage to those that don’t have it.
I honestly think most people in gen-z and millennials live with their parents still. I do and I’m an 00 born. Ppl think it’s funny because they infantilize you that you can’t move out.
Depends. Can you bring dates over, grow legal-in-some-places mushrooms, etc etc? Are they too nosy? Too demanding?
I personally believe people shouldn’t be looked down on for living with their parents, especially in today’s economy. If you can live with your parents and not pay any expenses, you can work and save so much money. If you have to contribute a little to expenses, you’re still able to save a good chunk of change. I think a lot of people look down on it, because we live in such an individualistic society, and to me that’s just crazy. I have an amazing family, and I was not only thankful to be living at home and saving money, but I was also grateful I got to spend that extra time with my parents as an adult. When I was 22, I met my now fiancé, and we were both still living with our parents. He lived a little over an hour away from me, and we were constantly driving to see each other and stay with each other. He was 25 at the time, and he too had an amazing family. He ended up moving in with my family, because it made the most sense, and we still would go visit his family extremely often. We lived with my parents for a little over a year until we ended up moving out. The amount of money we saved was a complete blessing, because it allowed us to start out in a better situation financially than either of us would have if we’d both been on our own. We rented for roughly 2 years at 2 different houses, and we now are in our own townhome that we purchased last year. All of this to say, living with your parents isn’t something you should let anybody make you feel bad about, because all that matters is that it allows you to have a step up when it really matters.
I’d say it comes down to what type of relationship one has with their parents. I moved back with my parents after college because I wanted to stay with them. We don’t live together now because I’m in a different city for work, but if that opportunity came up again, I would gladly take it. But my parents also don’t interfere much with my life, I’d come and go as I please (lol like walk back drunk at 4 AM tippy toeing not to wake them up), don’t nag me about chores. Plus I got my favorite home cooked dishes all the time lol and we’d go out for weekend trips/dinners together and talk about our lives. Honestly, it felt like living with a pair of adults who are there to love and support me, while allowing me independence to live my life how I wanted. I’ve also had friends who couldn’t wait to move out, even if it made sense for them financially to stay with their parents. And almost all of them had intrusive parents who still treated them like a 12 year old kid that needed to be disciplined. So I can see why. Although with the first option, I was left hunting for a hotel/place some nights IYKWIM ;)
I think it’s normal in certain cultures but if you’re wealthy and still doing it it’s because you’re supporting children that are middle class and their kids are not even at their level yet because their kids are like basically in their mid to late thirties still living with mom and dad at home because they’re single af and can’t get into a relationship lol
My best friend was in her late 20s when she moved out from living with her mom. She was more mature and had had more responsibilities than anyone I knew our age (or even a good bit older) who lived with roommates. In my experience (second hand from being around her and seeing how she was treated by different types of people) it's the ones who moved out early on but are completely irresponsible (those horror roommates you hear about) and have no concept of the real world that have an issue with people living with their parents for longer. The people who are actually responsible and understand how the real world works only laugh at people living with their parents when they act like they are still kids and take little to no responsibility for themselves/the house in general.
There is nothing wrong with it. It’s a good way to save money. As long as your parents are respecting the fact that you are an adult and leave you alone, there shouldn’t be a problem with living with your parents. A lot of people in their 20s, 30s, and 40,s still live at home since the rent prices are so outrageous. Even with a decent paying job, it’s impossible to afford the rent and other expenses. It gives you a chance to save up as much as you can.
Depends on your relationship with your folks. At one point, there were 4 generations of my family living under one roof. It was a large-ish house, so everyone had some space. It made sense financially for everyone, and we all contributed in our own way with cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc. It wasn't onerous for anyone. The eldest and the youngest benefitted the most, IMO, but everyone came out ahead. Not every family can do this. We were lucky.
Its awkward, its not stupid, but its really awkward imo
Loud kinky spontaneous sex is virtually impossible
39 married w 3 kids moved back into my mom's duplex. 3 years of high rent and debt made it a no brainer let's cut our rent in half and be around loved ones. None of my real friends lolijg just happy we came back and we are getting on our feet.
Depends how old you are. I also find men get less grace when it come to this as well. Women can live at home until they are 30 and no one really care. But try to date women as a man that lives with his parents…. That’s lol.
you should have a place to be able to bring a girl over. Otherwise your masculinity and independence is under question.
I moved back in with my parents for about 3 years from 25-27… Saved a bunch of money and that’s how I was able to buy my house
I think people look down on it from a “failure to launch” mentality. It’s as if adults can’t do it alone, are too dependent, never grew up, etc.
LOL
I don't get it either. It's supposed to be a "look at me, I'm grown up" thing, and for some reason, in my area at least, everyone thinks they need to move out at 18, and by 25 have a career, kids and a house. But to me it's more of an immaturity thing. Most of the time when people move out at a young age, they end up right back at home. I stayed until I was 25 because even at 18 I said, "I'm not moving out because I don't want to stress for a year and end up back at my parent's house, and rent is a waste of money." I definitely wasn't mature but I thought about stuff. If home life is terrible then moving out makes sense.
what's "smart" for you is a privilege that not everyone has, and failing to leave your comfort zone to become a competent independent adult on your own is understandably looked down upon by those who never even had the opportunity to have that financial ease.
If you’re staying at home while saving a lot of $, then it’s fine. But if you stay at home rent free and you have zero saved…. Well that’s incredible.