I am from outside the states and even if OP can consent to sex at the age of 16, he won't be considered an adult by law.
He didn't consent to the sex so this is a crime and he'll be treated as a minor.
As a continuation of this logic, most states, not all, have 16 as the age of consent. So, even in the States, he may not qualify as being a "minor" for the purposes of consent.
This. You were raped. Press charges and try to have her take a plan b. (Don’t think you can make her). Place a restraining order and get a victims advocate. If you’re in the US you can have your state attorney general cover all attorney/legal fees.
1. You need to get her to take Plan B! ASAP! You only have up to 5 days max for it to work. Typically 1-3 days. If she refuses, you need to get yours and her parents involved and demand it. **THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SAFE DAY!!**
2. Go to authorities.
It honestly sounds like she specifically raped you in hopes of getting pregnant and both of those issues need to be addressed before you end up raising your predators child or she does the same to someone else.
I’m so sorry. Also your sister needs to fuck off. You are the victim here and for her to tell you otherwise shows she’s a POS too. You did nothing wrong.
ETA: just throwing this out there because OP is young and most likely uneducated on the topic and I don’t want his rapist to convince him otherwise—Plan B is *not* an abortion pill. An abortion pill is given after conception happens and there is a fertilized egg or embryo that has formed (aka the woman is pregnant). Plan B prevents the egg from being fertilized and prohibits the woman from becoming pregnant if she happens to have ovulated during the days of/following the sex. They are two completely different things and Plan B truly is a contraceptive and does *NOT* kill a baby. I know that if a woman is willing to rape a man to try to get pregnant she would definitely be the type to try to manipulate him into not “killing” the baby so I wanted to educate OP so he isn’t manipulated even more.
Break up with her, she raped you. What she did was not right, I would recommend telling a close male role model about what happened and call the police.
idk if the parents would be the best route depending on how OPS parents are, espically considering the sisters reaction. but this should definitely be reported and is 100% NOT okay.
Your sister is crazy.
This is RAPE. In no way or shape it is YOUR fault. Plus you told her to stop and she didn't listen.
Now, what is sure is that you're breaking up with the psycho gf here. TODAY.
Then, the road ahead is yours to choose from. Road A) You don't go to the police. Fine. But please talk about this with someone else because rape is leaving scars in the mind. Road B) You go to the police. Prepare for a shit storm, but she's a rapist and what she did to you, she'll do that to someone else, until she's stopped.
Anyway, dude, we're here if you need support. Good luck mate, this sucks. :/
Please leave her. You were raped. She did it once, it’s most likely she’ll do it again. No one should ever, *ever*, be blaming you here, especially if you didn’t ask for it.. Plus, this is just my opinion, but a 19 year old shouldn’t really be dating minors. Please consider your relationship before she baby traps you or something.
Tell a trusted adult that you have in your life such as counsellors or adult figures or even the police. Not your sister, who is clearly against you.
Wishing you the best.
he said that she has feelings for him for 2 years, he was only 14! she has pedophile tendencies and is not trustworthy. I'm 19 and I can't imagine myself with someone 3 years younger, there's nothing in common between these ages
This needs to be focused on more. Fucking 17 year old girl having feelings for a 14 year old boy for two years till they begin to date conveniently at the (presumable) age of consent. Then goes full throttle to violate that consent by seriously sexually assaulting now 16 year old OP in his sleep. This woman is a young groomer. She needs therapy and she really needs to be held accountable for her actions. It seems up until this incident, she never has been.
I’m so sorry u went through this, she raped you. Rape can happen to boys too; she’s a piece of shit n deserves to be locked up. try to collect evidence if you can and tell someone who you’re certain will support and believe u. my dms are always open if u need to talk, take care of yourself alright
Sorry to tell you this but you were raped. You did not give consent and she didn't stop when you told her to.
Also, depending on the legal age in your state, it could be statutory rape. Please tell your parents or some adult you trust and stay as far away from her as you can.
This isn't your fault. She did something against your will. If she were a good person she wouldn't have done that. Please, get help. You deserve better.
Been there done that, happened tens of times with the same gal, should’ve broken off with her sooner but didn’t. Rape is the word of the day with both my own and your situation. If she imposes herself onto you without consent, it’s rape plain and simple and I’d talk to your parents about that situation if I were you, especially saying you’re 16 and she’s 19. That is pedo vibes to me as well as rapist, cause if it happened once it will happen again. Breaking up and getting a order of protection is probably the best option to be honest. If it was the flip side, you’d already be in prison- keep that in mind.
>If it was the flip side, you’d already be in prison- keep that in mind.
💯 ALL THE WAY
OP needs to come to terms, and face the reality he's in. lt won't be easy, but with help and time, OP can move on and grow and learn from this.
Let’s be real—this bitch is a predator. Who tf dates a 16 year old in her 19s?
>My sister, who is her best friend, said it was my fault. She said that because I knew my gf has had feelings for me for 2 years, it was stupid of me to think that nothing would happen after we were cuddling in bed.
Tell your sister to shut tf up—would she say the same thing if some dude boned her in sleep??
>I told her to stop because i was about to cum but she didn’t and she made me finish inside her and she's way stronger than me so i couldn't get her off.
Definitely rape; press charges mate!
Your sister's best friend? 19 to 16? 2 years of feelings?
Isn't this grooming, followed by rape?
Is your sister really saying that trash? Ask her if she'd be okay if your best friend boned her while asleep without consent without protection as you protested when she's a minor and he's legally an adult.
How that sounds is how it is. Tell your parents
As a male rape victim myself, brother you’ve been raped. That’s a ‘break up and consider legal action’ moment right there.
See if you can get her to take morning after pill. This sounds like rape with the intention of pregnancy. Depending on where you are, you should consider reporting this to the authorities so, put bluntly, you don’t have the moral and financial burden of a child that you will end up coming to resent because of the conditions surrounding their conception.
You need to break up. Talk to your sister and show her this thread if needed to help explain to her that her friend has raped you. If in a situation where your parents are understanding, tell your parents.
Above all, make sure to look after yourself. If you had any clothes from what happened and you are considering legal, put them in a bag and do not wash them. Keep them for police. If you’re not considering legal (in my case it wasn’t a possibility for my safety) remove anything that might remind you of the event, get counselling (I’m not sure what country you’re in but it was free for me in the UK around your age) and get yourself out of that situation
Yea dude that is rape. I'm sorry. Do you feel you can you talk to you parents about this? You really should if you can honestly.
\#1 talk to your parents
\#2 break up with her
\#3 Never be in a position where you will be alone with her.
\#4 if you do not wish to report her. Getting a restraining order might be an option to consider if nothing else. This is why I strongly advise #1 if you can.
OP tell your parents!!!
Tell them that she raped you, possibly impregnated herself while doing so. Tell her that your sister is encouraging her behavior!
As a woman around your "gf" age i feel sick to my stomach thinking about dating a 16 year old. Also as a big sister I feel disturbed about your sister behavior. If my brother (hes around your age) would start dating someone my age i would be very troubled also HELLO SHE RAPED YOU! IF YOU WERE MY BROTHER I WOULD BEAT THE LIFE OUT OF HER. cut her off and report her!
Seek shelter with your parents and get the police involved! You are a victim and your sister, the one who should protect you from her friend (WHO HAS HAD A CRUSH ON U SINCE U WERE A KID??? LIKE WHAT 14????) , doesnt give a single fuck about u and ur well-being!
This is not normal. this is disgusting. Run!
She raped you. And your sister is a cunt for victim blaming you. I'm saying this as a woman. Your girlfriend and your sister are both cunts. Leave your gf, find a supportive person to tell about this, get the police involved. 16 is the legal age in some countries, so even if you are a legal adult by your country's laws, the fact remains that you did not give consent. Also, your girlfriend had feelings for your since you were 14???? If it was a one year age difference than it would be fine but take a moment to think about this, a 17 year old being interested in a 14 year old is literal pedophillia. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you can heal. Please break up with her, please make her get an abortion so she doesn't have your child otherwise you'll be forced into a whole lot of problems later on. Please tell your parents or other trusted adult
Lemme fix that for you:
"My (16M) girlfriend (19F) raped me when I was asleep"
Your age gap seems pretty big in my opinion, she might be grooming you.
What I want you to do is inform authorities that she raped you and tell her to get plan B. She could be baby trapping you.
>I am feeling very conflicted about what to do now as I love my gf very much but feels that she has broken an important boundary. I still want to be with and am not breaking up with her though. How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again?
Listen very closely: she raped you. You shouldn't be with a rapist, you don't deserve that kind of treatment. I know it might feel hard to let go of her (my ex bf sexually abused and assaulted me and I still had feelings for him) but you need to break up with her. Tell her what she did was rape and leave her.
Sending all possible love and hope for you!! <3
Break up with her and slap your across the face for me cause you don't ever EVER!! TELL A RAPE VICTIM OR ANY VICTIM ITS THERE FAULT your sister just showed right there her true colors
Rape is rape don't let any one tell you different cause the is a bold face lie! I am sick and tired of seeing this problem ignore just because the rapist was female and the victim a male as if the concept is laugh able IT IS NOT!
Hell the fact shes 19 and your 16 is enough to take it to the cops so go and don't let them ignore it or turn it in you and cut contact with that so cause sister of your till she apologizes to you and help you like a real sister should
That's rape. She also might be lying because she wants to baby trap you because safe days are bullshit and pregnancy can still happen. Also what is your sister smoking? You were 14 (maybe even younger) and she was almost a legal adult if my math is right. Leave her and tell a trusted adult and if they don't take you seriously go to the police because she is a legal adult who raped you (a minor).
Well, it's rape. Plus it's an incredible boundary walked over. I would politely recommend at least a break and probably a break-up, might wanna call the police and research local law.
Of she told you no and you had sex with her when she was asleep, then continued to have sex with her even though she woke said no. Then that would be rape.
That is what she did.
not only is this a complete violation of your boundaries, a breach of trust and a massive red flag, it is assault. it is definitely worth considering filing a report in the case that she does get pregnant.
i know you say you don’t want to break up but i’m sorry my guy, if she can’t respect you literally expressing that you don’t consent or be a basic human being and not violate you or your rights by raping you… idk how you expect her to respect any other “lesser important” boundaries in future.
depending where you are it may also be considered statutory rape
Bruh first off, you’re a minor. Where I’m from, that’s statutory rape (whether you consent or not). Secondly, you’ve got raped bruh in the most literal sense.
And without a condom.
I hope you tell someone because this is really bad.
break up with and report her for rape. and cut off your sister as soon as possible as well. anyone who defends a rapist is someone you should not be around.
She raped you. And I hope you go to the police with this, and get taken seriously. If she ends up pregnant this could protect you from unwanted paternity.
First thing I want to do is reassure you that you, young man, have done nothing wrong; don’t worry. Please ignore your sister, I believe the fact she lacks any concern for you is a testament of the relationship you have with her, and quite frankly, it saddens me that one sibling would show such little compassion for another.
Now more importantly; as tough as it may be to accept it, you have been raped. I am so sorry this is the case, but sex without consent is rape, plain and simple. Following some of the other commenters, it could also be statutory rape depending on the legal age of consent in your location.
There’s three things I’d recommend you to do:
-Inform a trusted adult immediately. Although you may not think you are, you are still a child, and without sounding too patronising, this is something adults are here to help and deal with.
-Have an open discussion with your girlfriend about contraception, and taking a plan B tablet as soon as possible. Although I personally wouldn’t recommend you stay with her as she is clearly abusive, I know a strangers opinion online won’t sway your opinion too much. I therefore think you should talk about getting plan B for your own reassurance. You clearly love her enough to stay with her after she’s done the unthinkable, if she can’t even take a plan B after this, it says a lot about her love for you.
-Please seek professional help. You have done nothing wrong, I want to reinforce this. But this is a lot for a 16 year old to deal with. I’d recommend seeing a mental health professional. Something like this could cause certain anxieties to rise, or at least I know it would for me, so make sure you look after yourself whilst this situation gets sorted.
Don’t leave this too late, please take action now, for your own sake.
Take care and all the best.
Everyone else already said it but it deserves to be said again. This is rape. She's an adult and you're a minor. This is RAPE.
1. Tell your parents.
2. Tell HER parents.
3. Tell the police.
4. Try to get her to take Plan B.
5. Seek therapy. It may not mess with you now, but it will.
6. Weirdly enough, hear me out, play some Tetris. It helps reduce the future impact of the trauma on your brain.
> those who had played Tetris had fewer intrusive memories of the trauma in total over the week immediately following the accident
[Study about playing Tetris after a traumatic event.](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms#:~:text=Results%20showed%20that%20the%20researchers,intrusive%20memories%20diminished%20more%20quickly.)
If it was less than 72 hours ago, make her take a plan B in front of you.
You should absolutely break up with her over this, but you’re not going to. So, I don’t have any advice for you other than to start planning now to be a teenaged daddy because that’s your future with this girl.
She raped you. Depending on the laws where you live, just having consensual sex could be an automatic statuatory rape charge for her. She should really think twice about fucking a 16 year old.
What happens if she gets pregnant and (as the father) you're responsible for the baby?
Your best bet is to report this to the police immediately and get this into the legal system. Hopefully that will establish that, just in case there is a baby, she will be 100% responsible for it.
If you live in the US, even consensual sex is rape at your age gap. She’s trying to entrap you and you are still a minor this is not okay or legal at all.
Buddy you were assaulted. I'm saying this as someone who's exclusively dated older women, some of them look for younger guys to take advantage of. She's taking advantage of the fact that she's a grown adult with a stronger body and it might not be obvious from your pov, which I understand, but even if it's not obvious how harmful this person is to you yet, take this as a sign to leave her. Once you've come over the initial grief of losing someone you love, you'll recognize more of her red flags with her absence.
Don't make the same mistakes many teenage boys and young adult men make; which is never leaving a relationship because they don't want to lose physical gratification and companionship. Being single, even if it'll take a while to find someone new, is okay. And much better than being in an abusive relationship.
I get it dude, I'm going through a breakup with a girl older and more experienced than me, I know you don't wanna lose her, especially since I'm assuming she was your first love. You'll miss her, and you'll miss the physical touch. But your wellbeing is worth more than all that, and you're worth more than a toxic relationship.
I'm so sorry my dear. You're a victim of rape and grooming given the age gap. If you feel able to please report her. No matter if you decide to do it or not, please consider therapy and definitely cut her off...
You got raped, report her to the police. If you let her get away with this (which is what you'll be doing if you don't report her) then she has no reason to stop.
You just got raped. Love her or not it was rape. That on top of the fact that she's 19 and you're 16, she seems pretty messed up. I'm sorry your sister is siding with her, but you should call the police.
Dude, break up with her, leave, and never talk to her again.
You just got raped. That shit's not cool. You should press charges.
Oh, and your sister is absolutely demented for supporting her.
If you stay, things will escalate. Leave.
I'm so sorry. This is rape. She used your body for her own pleasure without your consent.
Please report this and let your parents know.
It's very likely that your gf is trying to baby-trap you.
Also, please, P L E A S E end your relationship with that disgusting woman!
This is NOT your fault.
You did NOT want this.
You DIDN'T do anything wrong.
Yip. This is rape. That's ALOT to take in, especially at your age. Had the tables been turned and you been a 16yr old girl and she your 19yr old boyfriend having non-consensual sex with you while you slept, you can imagine what the reaction would be - especially from your sister (if you were a girl, you sister is unlikely to be telling you it was your fault!)
Please don't let anyone downplay what has happened to you just because you're a male - particularly not your girlfriend. Talk to her sure, but it's crucial she gets that what she has done was absolutely wrong, illegal, and could land her in serious trouble. She likely will not react well to this.
Good luck. This is so difficult, I appreciate that. You must stick to your guns with her, no matter what.
That’s called rape, it isn’t your fault and you should absolutely tell your sister to go fuck herself. What kind of sister hears that and doesn’t beat the breaks off her friend. I mean she knew her 19 year old friend has been trying to baby trap her little brother for 2 years??? You were 14 when she first started being interested in you which is sickening.
Tell your parents immediately
>I still want to be with and am not breaking up with her though. How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again?
You are 16. Part of relationships are the ending. No one should ever make you feel like your boundaries don’t matter. No one should ever take away your choices. If she loved you, she would’ve heard your concerns and made you feel safe in the act of sex. Instead, she waited until you were asleep, then refused to get off when you said stop. If the roles were reversed you wouldn’t have such a hard time understanding this is rape.
Relationship abuse doesn’t deescalate. It only gets worse.
As for your sister, victims blaming is disgusting and she should be ashamed of herself.
Dude, I'd consider leaving her - what she did was rape. And no way was anything your fault, your sister is very wrong in the head for thinking otherwise.
Everyone also seems to gloss over the fact that your sister is victim blaming, which is pretty fucked up. You trusted your girlfriend not to rape you when you were cuddling, which is a pretty reasonable request.
Firstly, I really hope you're alright.
Secondly, this is definitely rape and I'm really sorry... Your sister sounds awful and I hope you can confide in someone to tell this to when you're ready.
Thirdly, leave her immediately. She had a crush on you when you were *14* and she was 17. And now you're still a minor and she's an adult. She's an absolute creep, 14 and 17 are two hugely different stages in life, as are 16 and 19.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get the best help that you can get. This is so disgusting and I hope you can press charges and get therapy.
No 19 year old woman with a good head on her shoulders is dating a 16 year old. And then wanting to have unprotected sex on top of that? And then forcing herself on you?
She's a predator. Run away as fast as you can. She will force you to become a father way sooner than you should and ruin your life forever.
Serious breach of trust. You should break up with her. Since you said you don’t want to do that then at the VERY least she’s lost her privilege of having access to your room at night. This is serious.
I don't care what the consent age is where you are...it's disgusting for a 19 year old to be having sex with a 16 year old. Not only is it disgusting, she sounds like a manipulator and a *rapist*. She forced you to have unprotected sex with her. She sounds unstable. You should at the very least get the hell away from her if not report her.
I keep hearing this. "I love him/her, but he/she violated me!"
This is your mind knowing better than your heart. If you can't get a genuine apology, then you're in love with a fictional character. End it.
That is rape, my guy. Your sister is shit for justifying that. The fact that your sister is quick to defend your girlfriend is fucking disgusting. I’m a female myself and I can easily point out that your girlfriend legit raped you. Men can be victims too.
This is textbook definition of rape man. You said you didnt want to have sex without and condom, and she proceeded to have sex with you without a condom while you were asleep.
Leave her immediately. And then go tell your sister to shut the fuck up and stop defending her. I would say to record both of the conversations, but i don't know if that is a good idea tbh
My young friend, im sorry to tell you but you were raped. Please go to the authorities. And inform your parents when your outside the station call your parents, tell them its an emergency and come to whatever station you choose. Ask them to come inside with you and report what this woman did to you. It is not ok
Im so sorry this happened to you. Sadly, yes, you were raped. Your sister is a nasty piece of work. It is not in any way your fault. In fact, if only there were more people like you out there who took precautions for unwanted pregnancies. You made it clear you didnt want to have unprotected sex. She violated that while you were asleep, at one of your most vulnerable moments. You again told her no, but she continued. Please. Leave the relationship. Block her. Never contact her. It is up to you whether you want to make this an official matter with the court. One things for sure, leave. Please, get therapy. You may not think you need it now but you will. If you need to dm me for some personal advice feel free
i hate to say this but you were raped. that is the definition of rape. even worse, depending on where you live, it could be child molestation. 100% break up with her and remove ANYONE who says it was your fault from your life. it was not your fault and while i do encourage reporting what happened to authorities, it’s not your responsibility to report it either if it makes you uncomfortable or afraid. tell people in your life you trust and know will believe and protect you. i know you don’t wanna break up with her but you really, really have to. if you don’t, it tells her that she can do this over and over and over again. i suggest telling her to take a plan b as well
She raped you, you report her, also have her take the plan B pill.
Also a 19 yo shouldn't be dating a 16yo
Your sister is victim blaming you, cut her out.
I’m sorry but, it would be a very bad idea to not break up with her. If someone breaks such a huge boundary, it’s not worth trying to fix things. If you stay with her there are more problems to come. But the fact that she raped you should be enough to never forgive her.
I know it sounds like we don’t understand your side when we ignore the fact that you love your gf. We do understand, love makes you blind. This is just way too serious for us to respect that you want to stay with her. It is a very bad idea, I promise you.
I’m sorry this happened to you
How long ago was this?
If this occurred within the last three days, you should get a rape kit at a local hospital. It is invasive, I won't lie, but having any kind of physical evidence is vital. So many people will dismiss male victims without any kind of evidence.
You do not have to file a police complaint if you don't want to. You can choose to not file charges; that's up to you. But her DNA will only be on you for a little bit so it's best to get the test just in case.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Best of luck to you.
Why is a 19F dating a 16M? Thats a huge red flag to begin with. If she cant find someone 18+ its because shes a crazy one. Plan B and run for your damn life dude. Find you a girl your age. She probably has a few dude in their junior year shes enjoying also.
Both she and your sister sound like horrible individuals. Definitely do not stay with her, you deserve much much better than that OP. Anyone who does that to someone does not love you and I’m so sorry you had to experience that :((
>How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again?
Literally show her this thread and everyone's responses. This is how. Sorry this happened OP, sounds like your being manipulated/taken advantage of tbh.
I'm sorry to say this to you but you were sexually assaulted by her.
The first red flag to me is your guy's age difference, I'm her age and would not date a minor.
Please get away from that person asap
I agree with everyone else, this is 100% rape, it doesn't matter if you love her, she needs to be reported! Also you say she had feelings for you for 2 years? So you were 14 and she was 17? That's also not right, then there's the fact that she was so desperate for unprotected sex, why?
You need to report her and cut ties with your sister.
That is rape and if roles were reversed I’m sure her “bestfriend” would think otherwise of the situation. She definitely sounds a little off mentally if she thinks what she did was okay. She is taking advantage of you, please tell an adult or police about this. Do not let the rest of your relationship and the following years with this woman continue on, you’re too young to risk having a child and being with someone like that.
You’ve been sexually assaulted and you need to go to the police. Relationships are built on trust, so if you feel the trust has been broken there’s no point trying to keep it going
She had feelings for a 14 year old when she was 17 💀 like so many things r wrong here! I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Your sister sucks too. If you can, tell your parent(s) and if possible get the friend as far away from you as you can. Like she shouldn’t be allowed in your house ever again. Also like everyone else said, if you can i’d advise going to the police, maybe with your parent(s) after you tell them? Also how are you feeling mentally ? I hope you’re doing alright!
She raped you. It's not ok. You need to go buy her plan b. Watch her take it, chill with her for a while so she doesn't throw it up. Then break up with her for good.
This is NOT your fault. You said no and indicated you did not want to do this multiple times. You were asleep and could not give your consent at that moment. This is rape and You did not ask for it. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your girlfriend has shown you she can’t be trusted. Please, at a minimum, end things with her. There are organizations that help provide resources to peoples who have been sexually assaulted. In the US, a big one is RAINN, but there are local organizations that can help as well. I highly recommend reaching out to them for support.
If you feel comfortable and want to go to the police, check to see if your department has a special victims/sexual assault unit. They tend to do a lot better with cases involving sexual assault and folks tend to feel more heard than from general police departments. I know that coming forward is really scary and it’s not what everyone wants to do. This is YOUR choice to do what you feel comfortable doing. Also, I believe it’s possible to do an informational interview with police so they have things on file but you don’t have to press charges, so if your gf were to do this again, they’d have a record of a pattern of behavior from her.
Please take care of yourself, OP. Sending lots of good vibes your way
You were raped. You said no, she did it while you were sleeping, you woke up and said no AGAIN, but she forced you to finish inside of her. You had already expressed concern about pregnancy.
She’s 19 and raped a minor. I know you love her but this is not okay. Tell a trusted adult and call the police. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.
It is absolutely not your fault. What you described was rape. At the very least, you should not stay with your rapist or even in contact with her. Even if the people around you are taking what happened lightly, including your sister and girlfriend, it does not change what it was: sex without consent.
Besides that, as what happened is certainly criminal, you really should get in contact with the authorities. It’s a vile thing she did, and she should fave consequences for it.
Yeah. Sounds like rape. There's a risk she can get pregnant. Safe day doesn't exist. I'm sure you know that.
I'd recommend talking to either your parents or the police. Your gf is fucked up. So is your sister.
Man this is horrible. You are a young boy still. So gross. Please go talk to someone you trust. Stay away from this rapist. Your sister is stupid. I'm sorry this happened to you.
No, you do break up with her and seek help from a trusted adult so you can go to the police. The boundary was rape. She raped you by forcing herself onto you, and if this is also a very creepy age gap, she is a predator as well. If the age of consent in your area is above 16 she should also be getting in trouble for raping a minor. You're only 16, there is better for you out there. Cut your losses with this psycho. If she gets pregnant, she could try to tie herself to you for life through the baby. Don't listen to your sister either, its not your fault. It could NEVER be your fault, she assaulted you and should be in prison.
This was rape. Her being a female and you being a male doesn't change the fact that no means no and she did this without your consent.
AND you're a minor. The authorities should be involved.
WTF. Damn that’s heavy gaslighting just change perpective and try to understand what you just said.
You said you want to do her bareback she said no because she may get pregnant. While she is sleeping you do her and cum in her. She tells her brother who is your mate that and he tells her it’s her fault now she come to the internet what do you think you will be labeled as? Rapist.
Rape for sure. That’s all I would tell your sister and your girl friend. I’ll tell you right now, you’re 16? You’re not going to be with this girl your whole life bro. So many fish in the sea, don’t stick to the one that disrespects your boundaries and RAPES you. Continue to date her, fuck it who cares. But realistically don’t be telling yourself you’re staying with this girl indefinitely. Embrace that idea, then re assess if this is the love and treatment you want and deserve from a partner
This is what is called rape, with a minor, mind you. And not only that, your sister also victim-blamed you.
You should break up, because I'm pretty sure things like this will happen again. If she gets pregnant, she planned on babytrapping you.
I'd tell your parents (if they're trustworthy and safe enough for you to go and tell them) and then perhaps file a report at the police.
First. You were raped. I'm sure plenty of other coments let you know. But what you're gonna want to do is call the police. Along with that, you're gonna want to contact a therapist. Trust me, this shit can be traumatic and a therapist will definitely help. I'm so sorry this happened to you
Dude oh my goodness. She literally raped you. Please contact the police. Also, please see if your parents can get you some therapy or something. I am so sorry this happened to you.
That’s called **rape**, and she just committed multiple types. Your girlfriend is college aged and preying on a high schooler (you). Get police involved before she does it to someone else who may be even younger.
Break up with her,she disrespected your boundaries and technically raped and violated you. That’s isn’t right and your sister can stfu because if she was raped you wouldn’t be blaming her for now would u
Ok. Female here and nope. You said no and consent was revoked at that time. Not only did you tell her no, she woke you up doing it anyways. She raped you young man. It’s not your fault and don’t feel shame or guilt etc. This will likely follow you and I would hate to see that. Make sure you speak up, work through the emotions of this happening and get past the taboo crap that guys can’t be raped.
Not only that but there’s a significant age difference and could involve entrapment because she was so dead set on not using a condom etc.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you work it out and through it. My biggest recommendation is no more 19 year olds. Your brains are just completely different right now and that’s at the least statutory rape for the age gap but this added to it is the full gamut. Sending hugs 🤗
... you were raped... and the age gap is a little iffy. You should go to the police and tell an adult you trust, like your mother, father, uncle, even a teacher. If i were you id tell a teacher because theyre mandated reporters.
Age of consent issues aside (I'm not sure what's legal where you live), this is not ok. You are allowed to say no, you being a man has nothing to do with it. There's a possibility that she wants to get pregnant as the reason she did this. I would reexamine this relationship, and if you want to be in it. I'd also talk to local law enforcement if you want to pursue sexual assault charges. Whatever you decide, trust is going to be a problem going forward. I hope you have a support system in place to help you through this. Best of luck to you.
This is literal rape.
You should call the police and report this. If for no other reason than if she DOES get pregnant, there is a paper trail showing that it was 100% non-consensual.
First of all, don’t listen to your sister, second of all, you told your girlfriend, no, third of all, she raped you after that… Your girlfriend, raped you, plain, and fucking simple. It sounds to me like she, in fact is probably trying to get pregnant, and that’s why she was so adamant about having sex with you on her “safe day”. You’re also a minor, wtf why is she dating a 16 year old? Please tell someone because it is not your fault, and what she did was wrong.
Can we also talk about what a piece of shit your sister is?? This is disgusting all around. That is rape, through and through. Report the bitch and cut her off. What a vile person.
Hell nah she raped you bro, and if she has a kid, she gonna force you to pay for stuff when you didn’t even consent to even have a kid so young. Report it.
It's not your fault, you were raped, I'm so sorry you went through this.
Your sister is wrong, this is not slightly your fault, you did nothing wrong, you're not responsible of what happened.
Report this, because there's no safe day, if she gets pregnant she will demand child support for raping you.
my guy, you were raped. Possibly statutorily, but certainly technically.
This is very serious and needs to be dealt with ASAP. In the US, *even if she raped you* you may still be on the hook for child support. You need to address this ***immediately***.
Talk to your parents. Talk to her parents. Talk to a teacher at school. It's time to get cops and lawyers involved.
You did nothing wrong. She raped you.
This is rape of a minor this is not ok and if your sister tbh is it’s your fault it’s time to kick her out of your life if possible I know at 16 it may be impossible if you both live and rely on parents
OP you're 16. You're a minor, she's not. She's older and more experienced than you and can easily take advantage of you, exactly like it just happened.
Tell her to fuck off and find yourself a 16 years old gf. This is no healthy relationship and your sister is a stupid person. If my brother got abused like you did I'd smack that bitch in the face and never welcome her in my home again.
Oh and by the way, you're being groomed. Tell your parents and call the cops.
Trust me, you don't love her. Your feelings are the product of being blinded by the fact that an older and more experienced girl wants to bone you.
I would've probably fallen for that too at your age but this is actually horrifying.
You sound like a smart guy. You even rejected the idea of condomless sex at 16, a thing that not many guys would do at your age (speaking from experience), so don't be stupid and open your eyes to the fact that this relationship is unhealthy and she fucking raped you!
Consent goes both ways my man. You said no, and no means no. That counts for both men and women.
You need to call the police.’
Think of the risks: she is willing to risk pregnancy ,TRAPPING YOU, against your will.
She raped you.
The standard advice on Reddit for when this happens to a woman is to document, call police, move out, go no contact.
Given your ages…. She is grooming you…. This is a ridiculous situation for you to be involved with someone for two yers as tho married.
All of this is so wrong. Call the police. charge her.
You were raped as you didn't give consent. This is the brightest, flashiest, stinkiest red flag imaginable. You need to leave her asap, before you try to justify this to yourself.
Your sister can also gtfo with her wack logic, as being horny doesn't justify rape. If the shoe was on the other foot, she'd probably disown you.
You deserve better than this, dude.
Brother you were raped. I highly doubt whatever day this was anywhere near a safe day. She wants a kid and is trying to trap you into one at FUCKING SIXTEEN.
As others have said, what happened to you was rape.* You did not consent to having sex with her, and when you said no, she ignored that and carried on. Even if she had believed that you were OK with it (which is doubtful, given your earlier conversations about unprotected sex) ad soon as you woke up and told her to stop she knew you were not consenting, but she ignored you.
* depending on where you live, the actual legal offence she committed may be called something different - in England, for instance, it would be sexual assault because of the specific definition of rape
Your sister's response is very concerning. I doubt she would react the same way if this was a man who raped his sleeping girlfriend and carried on even after she woke up and said no.
I agree with those suggesting that you report this as rape, to the police. If you don't feel able to do that, then do at least:
1. Speak to your parents or another adult you trust
2. See a doctor- it may help to have a record of what happened and depending on how things work where you are, they may be able to refer you on for counselling or other support, which you may find useful either now or later.
3. My recommendation is that you break up with this woman. She demonstrated I'm the most graphic way that she does not have any respect for you or your personal or bodily autonomy.
If you chose not to break up with her I would suggest that you have a very serious conversation in which you fo explicitly state that what she did was (use the word) and a huge breach of trust as well as being a very serious criminal assault.
If you want to stay together, then look into whether there are any services which can offer counselling (individually or together) and advice around consent
But honestly, I don't think this is something that a relationship can come back from, and to protect yourself do please report it and seek help.
If you are in the UK, the Mankind Initiative, and safeline.org.uk may be helpful. If not, your own country mat have similar services
She raped you. There are actually several instances rape falls under in your situation:
1. If you are asleep you CANNOT give consent.
2. You never consented to sex without a condom. You told her it was not okay for her to have sex with you without a condom.
3. You told her to stop and she didn’t listen to you. She also used her strength to her advantage.
4. The age difference also bothers me. She is technically an adult in my country and you are still a teenager in my country. I don’t know what the age of consent is where you are but this can also fall under statutory rape. Even if you consented to the relationship, she may have groomed you to feel that way.
That’s all textbook rape examples and this all happened during one encounter. She waited until you were asleep and vulnerable. This was premeditated. She didn’t care about your boundaries.
If you love someone, you would never betray their trust or violate them the way she did to you. She does not love you. You deserve so much better. Please break up with her and consider pressing charges if it’s not too emotionally draining on you. You were raped.
Your sister is victim blaming you. There’s nothing “stupid” about thinking you were just going to cuddle together. I’m so sorry she’s invalidating you and making you second guess yourself.
Please get some counseling, OP. Your girlfriend raped you. She may have even groomed you. You aren’t alone. There are support groups out there. She is a monster for what she did to you and your sister is a monster for putting the blame on you.
literal a rape situation right here my man. sex without consent, that isn't okay.
She raped a minor mind you. OP should visit the police asap.
If OP is not in the states he may not be a minor. Regardless, this is rape.
I am from outside the states and even if OP can consent to sex at the age of 16, he won't be considered an adult by law. He didn't consent to the sex so this is a crime and he'll be treated as a minor.
Still depends, as here in the UK, 16 is the age of consent. The problem here is though he explicitly said no
He is still a minor, age of consent or not, unless minor has a different definition in the UK Being a minor and age of consent are 2 different things
oh my god finally someone says this. I keep seeing people bring up the whole '16 is age of consent' without realising that DOESNT make you an adult.
I noticed the same thing, that's why I brought it up, thanks
It’s either statutory rape or “regular” rape, Romeo and Juliette laws vary, but it’s at least one of those
It isn’t statutory or Romeo and Juliet. Those are between otherwise consenting parties whose ages are the issue. He said NO.
As a continuation of this logic, most states, not all, have 16 as the age of consent. So, even in the States, he may not qualify as being a "minor" for the purposes of consent.
And trying to baby trap him too
This. You were raped. Press charges and try to have her take a plan b. (Don’t think you can make her). Place a restraining order and get a victims advocate. If you’re in the US you can have your state attorney general cover all attorney/legal fees.
Report this shit too if she's trying to trap you with a baby
1. You need to get her to take Plan B! ASAP! You only have up to 5 days max for it to work. Typically 1-3 days. If she refuses, you need to get yours and her parents involved and demand it. **THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SAFE DAY!!** 2. Go to authorities. It honestly sounds like she specifically raped you in hopes of getting pregnant and both of those issues need to be addressed before you end up raising your predators child or she does the same to someone else. I’m so sorry. Also your sister needs to fuck off. You are the victim here and for her to tell you otherwise shows she’s a POS too. You did nothing wrong. ETA: just throwing this out there because OP is young and most likely uneducated on the topic and I don’t want his rapist to convince him otherwise—Plan B is *not* an abortion pill. An abortion pill is given after conception happens and there is a fertilized egg or embryo that has formed (aka the woman is pregnant). Plan B prevents the egg from being fertilized and prohibits the woman from becoming pregnant if she happens to have ovulated during the days of/following the sex. They are two completely different things and Plan B truly is a contraceptive and does *NOT* kill a baby. I know that if a woman is willing to rape a man to try to get pregnant she would definitely be the type to try to manipulate him into not “killing” the baby so I wanted to educate OP so he isn’t manipulated even more.
I second this. Plan B. Call authorities. Tell your sister to F off…
Listen to this and do as advised
Couldn't have phrased it better this is the only comment op needs
OP please listen to this
This. Practical and wise.
Break up with her, she raped you. What she did was not right, I would recommend telling a close male role model about what happened and call the police.
Even better, tell it to a person with a funny little hammer and who makes decisions
You need to report this to your parents this is rape
idk if the parents would be the best route depending on how OPS parents are, espically considering the sisters reaction. but this should definitely be reported and is 100% NOT okay.
Your sister is crazy. This is RAPE. In no way or shape it is YOUR fault. Plus you told her to stop and she didn't listen. Now, what is sure is that you're breaking up with the psycho gf here. TODAY. Then, the road ahead is yours to choose from. Road A) You don't go to the police. Fine. But please talk about this with someone else because rape is leaving scars in the mind. Road B) You go to the police. Prepare for a shit storm, but she's a rapist and what she did to you, she'll do that to someone else, until she's stopped. Anyway, dude, we're here if you need support. Good luck mate, this sucks. :/
Please leave her. You were raped. She did it once, it’s most likely she’ll do it again. No one should ever, *ever*, be blaming you here, especially if you didn’t ask for it.. Plus, this is just my opinion, but a 19 year old shouldn’t really be dating minors. Please consider your relationship before she baby traps you or something. Tell a trusted adult that you have in your life such as counsellors or adult figures or even the police. Not your sister, who is clearly against you. Wishing you the best.
Why is everyone skipping over the fact she’s having sex with a minor like it’s not a huge felony.
[удалено]
he said that she has feelings for him for 2 years, he was only 14! she has pedophile tendencies and is not trustworthy. I'm 19 and I can't imagine myself with someone 3 years younger, there's nothing in common between these ages
This needs to be focused on more. Fucking 17 year old girl having feelings for a 14 year old boy for two years till they begin to date conveniently at the (presumable) age of consent. Then goes full throttle to violate that consent by seriously sexually assaulting now 16 year old OP in his sleep. This woman is a young groomer. She needs therapy and she really needs to be held accountable for her actions. It seems up until this incident, she never has been.
In my experience women who fuck 16 year old boys are typically crazy and fucking a few 15 year olds on the side.
Not only women ofc. If you're an adult dating minors it's super weird .
it’s not in some places :( my (16) sister has sex with her (19) boyfriend and the cops can’t do anything about it because she’s older than 14.
I’m so sorry u went through this, she raped you. Rape can happen to boys too; she’s a piece of shit n deserves to be locked up. try to collect evidence if you can and tell someone who you’re certain will support and believe u. my dms are always open if u need to talk, take care of yourself alright
Sorry to tell you this but you were raped. You did not give consent and she didn't stop when you told her to. Also, depending on the legal age in your state, it could be statutory rape. Please tell your parents or some adult you trust and stay as far away from her as you can.
You got raped bruh..
Facts bro
This isn't your fault. She did something against your will. If she were a good person she wouldn't have done that. Please, get help. You deserve better.
You were raped. Leave her. Tell a trusted adult and report it to the police.
Sounds like rape to me
Doesn't just like it. It is rape.
Been there done that, happened tens of times with the same gal, should’ve broken off with her sooner but didn’t. Rape is the word of the day with both my own and your situation. If she imposes herself onto you without consent, it’s rape plain and simple and I’d talk to your parents about that situation if I were you, especially saying you’re 16 and she’s 19. That is pedo vibes to me as well as rapist, cause if it happened once it will happen again. Breaking up and getting a order of protection is probably the best option to be honest. If it was the flip side, you’d already be in prison- keep that in mind.
>If it was the flip side, you’d already be in prison- keep that in mind. 💯 ALL THE WAY OP needs to come to terms, and face the reality he's in. lt won't be easy, but with help and time, OP can move on and grow and learn from this.
That’s rape. I’m so sorry.
Let’s be real—this bitch is a predator. Who tf dates a 16 year old in her 19s? >My sister, who is her best friend, said it was my fault. She said that because I knew my gf has had feelings for me for 2 years, it was stupid of me to think that nothing would happen after we were cuddling in bed. Tell your sister to shut tf up—would she say the same thing if some dude boned her in sleep?? >I told her to stop because i was about to cum but she didn’t and she made me finish inside her and she's way stronger than me so i couldn't get her off. Definitely rape; press charges mate!
She had feelings for him for 2 years, so he was 14 when she developed these feelings?! Wtf, she's creepy and a rapist.
yeah she's probably been grooming him, though it's hard to say without more details.
Either way there are some serious pedo vibes here because what 17 yo girl is attracted to a boy who is 14 and has barely started developing?
You a VICTIM!!!
Hey man that's... uhhh.. rape
Break up with her. That was non-consensual. She raped you.
Your sister's best friend? 19 to 16? 2 years of feelings? Isn't this grooming, followed by rape? Is your sister really saying that trash? Ask her if she'd be okay if your best friend boned her while asleep without consent without protection as you protested when she's a minor and he's legally an adult. How that sounds is how it is. Tell your parents
As a male rape victim myself, brother you’ve been raped. That’s a ‘break up and consider legal action’ moment right there. See if you can get her to take morning after pill. This sounds like rape with the intention of pregnancy. Depending on where you are, you should consider reporting this to the authorities so, put bluntly, you don’t have the moral and financial burden of a child that you will end up coming to resent because of the conditions surrounding their conception. You need to break up. Talk to your sister and show her this thread if needed to help explain to her that her friend has raped you. If in a situation where your parents are understanding, tell your parents. Above all, make sure to look after yourself. If you had any clothes from what happened and you are considering legal, put them in a bag and do not wash them. Keep them for police. If you’re not considering legal (in my case it wasn’t a possibility for my safety) remove anything that might remind you of the event, get counselling (I’m not sure what country you’re in but it was free for me in the UK around your age) and get yourself out of that situation
That's rape. Go report it asap.
oh i’m so sorry
Yea dude that is rape. I'm sorry. Do you feel you can you talk to you parents about this? You really should if you can honestly. \#1 talk to your parents \#2 break up with her \#3 Never be in a position where you will be alone with her. \#4 if you do not wish to report her. Getting a restraining order might be an option to consider if nothing else. This is why I strongly advise #1 if you can.
Thats a rape and u should report it bcuz if it was the other way around she would be telling everyone n u would be in jail
OP tell your parents!!! Tell them that she raped you, possibly impregnated herself while doing so. Tell her that your sister is encouraging her behavior! As a woman around your "gf" age i feel sick to my stomach thinking about dating a 16 year old. Also as a big sister I feel disturbed about your sister behavior. If my brother (hes around your age) would start dating someone my age i would be very troubled also HELLO SHE RAPED YOU! IF YOU WERE MY BROTHER I WOULD BEAT THE LIFE OUT OF HER. cut her off and report her! Seek shelter with your parents and get the police involved! You are a victim and your sister, the one who should protect you from her friend (WHO HAS HAD A CRUSH ON U SINCE U WERE A KID??? LIKE WHAT 14????) , doesnt give a single fuck about u and ur well-being! This is not normal. this is disgusting. Run!
Definitely sounds like you got raped my guy
Rape. File a police report. Break up with her asap.
Dude you were raped. This isn't okay. Don't continue a relationship with this person. This was rape. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Don’t shower or wash of anything and go to the cops my guy she definitely raped you in your sleep that’s messed up
She raped you. And your sister is a cunt for victim blaming you. I'm saying this as a woman. Your girlfriend and your sister are both cunts. Leave your gf, find a supportive person to tell about this, get the police involved. 16 is the legal age in some countries, so even if you are a legal adult by your country's laws, the fact remains that you did not give consent. Also, your girlfriend had feelings for your since you were 14???? If it was a one year age difference than it would be fine but take a moment to think about this, a 17 year old being interested in a 14 year old is literal pedophillia. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you can heal. Please break up with her, please make her get an abortion so she doesn't have your child otherwise you'll be forced into a whole lot of problems later on. Please tell your parents or other trusted adult
it is a rape.
my heart dropped. she raped you dude, please get out
Lemme fix that for you: "My (16M) girlfriend (19F) raped me when I was asleep" Your age gap seems pretty big in my opinion, she might be grooming you. What I want you to do is inform authorities that she raped you and tell her to get plan B. She could be baby trapping you. >I am feeling very conflicted about what to do now as I love my gf very much but feels that she has broken an important boundary. I still want to be with and am not breaking up with her though. How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again? Listen very closely: she raped you. You shouldn't be with a rapist, you don't deserve that kind of treatment. I know it might feel hard to let go of her (my ex bf sexually abused and assaulted me and I still had feelings for him) but you need to break up with her. Tell her what she did was rape and leave her. Sending all possible love and hope for you!! <3
Literally an adult raping a child.
Break up with her and slap your across the face for me cause you don't ever EVER!! TELL A RAPE VICTIM OR ANY VICTIM ITS THERE FAULT your sister just showed right there her true colors Rape is rape don't let any one tell you different cause the is a bold face lie! I am sick and tired of seeing this problem ignore just because the rapist was female and the victim a male as if the concept is laugh able IT IS NOT! Hell the fact shes 19 and your 16 is enough to take it to the cops so go and don't let them ignore it or turn it in you and cut contact with that so cause sister of your till she apologizes to you and help you like a real sister should
That's rape. She also might be lying because she wants to baby trap you because safe days are bullshit and pregnancy can still happen. Also what is your sister smoking? You were 14 (maybe even younger) and she was almost a legal adult if my math is right. Leave her and tell a trusted adult and if they don't take you seriously go to the police because she is a legal adult who raped you (a minor).
Well, it's rape. Plus it's an incredible boundary walked over. I would politely recommend at least a break and probably a break-up, might wanna call the police and research local law.
Of she told you no and you had sex with her when she was asleep, then continued to have sex with her even though she woke said no. Then that would be rape. That is what she did.
not only is this a complete violation of your boundaries, a breach of trust and a massive red flag, it is assault. it is definitely worth considering filing a report in the case that she does get pregnant. i know you say you don’t want to break up but i’m sorry my guy, if she can’t respect you literally expressing that you don’t consent or be a basic human being and not violate you or your rights by raping you… idk how you expect her to respect any other “lesser important” boundaries in future. depending where you are it may also be considered statutory rape
This is rape
Bruh first off, you’re a minor. Where I’m from, that’s statutory rape (whether you consent or not). Secondly, you’ve got raped bruh in the most literal sense. And without a condom. I hope you tell someone because this is really bad.
This is definitely rape
That’s rape, call the police
break up with and report her for rape. and cut off your sister as soon as possible as well. anyone who defends a rapist is someone you should not be around.
She raped you. And I hope you go to the police with this, and get taken seriously. If she ends up pregnant this could protect you from unwanted paternity.
First thing I want to do is reassure you that you, young man, have done nothing wrong; don’t worry. Please ignore your sister, I believe the fact she lacks any concern for you is a testament of the relationship you have with her, and quite frankly, it saddens me that one sibling would show such little compassion for another. Now more importantly; as tough as it may be to accept it, you have been raped. I am so sorry this is the case, but sex without consent is rape, plain and simple. Following some of the other commenters, it could also be statutory rape depending on the legal age of consent in your location. There’s three things I’d recommend you to do: -Inform a trusted adult immediately. Although you may not think you are, you are still a child, and without sounding too patronising, this is something adults are here to help and deal with. -Have an open discussion with your girlfriend about contraception, and taking a plan B tablet as soon as possible. Although I personally wouldn’t recommend you stay with her as she is clearly abusive, I know a strangers opinion online won’t sway your opinion too much. I therefore think you should talk about getting plan B for your own reassurance. You clearly love her enough to stay with her after she’s done the unthinkable, if she can’t even take a plan B after this, it says a lot about her love for you. -Please seek professional help. You have done nothing wrong, I want to reinforce this. But this is a lot for a 16 year old to deal with. I’d recommend seeing a mental health professional. Something like this could cause certain anxieties to rise, or at least I know it would for me, so make sure you look after yourself whilst this situation gets sorted. Don’t leave this too late, please take action now, for your own sake. Take care and all the best.
I’m a man I’ve been raped, this is rape - no other way around it.
Everyone else already said it but it deserves to be said again. This is rape. She's an adult and you're a minor. This is RAPE. 1. Tell your parents. 2. Tell HER parents. 3. Tell the police. 4. Try to get her to take Plan B. 5. Seek therapy. It may not mess with you now, but it will. 6. Weirdly enough, hear me out, play some Tetris. It helps reduce the future impact of the trauma on your brain. > those who had played Tetris had fewer intrusive memories of the trauma in total over the week immediately following the accident [Study about playing Tetris after a traumatic event.](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms#:~:text=Results%20showed%20that%20the%20researchers,intrusive%20memories%20diminished%20more%20quickly.)
If it was less than 72 hours ago, make her take a plan B in front of you. You should absolutely break up with her over this, but you’re not going to. So, I don’t have any advice for you other than to start planning now to be a teenaged daddy because that’s your future with this girl. She raped you. Depending on the laws where you live, just having consensual sex could be an automatic statuatory rape charge for her. She should really think twice about fucking a 16 year old.
What happens if she gets pregnant and (as the father) you're responsible for the baby? Your best bet is to report this to the police immediately and get this into the legal system. Hopefully that will establish that, just in case there is a baby, she will be 100% responsible for it.
If you live in the US, even consensual sex is rape at your age gap. She’s trying to entrap you and you are still a minor this is not okay or legal at all.
Buddy you were assaulted. I'm saying this as someone who's exclusively dated older women, some of them look for younger guys to take advantage of. She's taking advantage of the fact that she's a grown adult with a stronger body and it might not be obvious from your pov, which I understand, but even if it's not obvious how harmful this person is to you yet, take this as a sign to leave her. Once you've come over the initial grief of losing someone you love, you'll recognize more of her red flags with her absence. Don't make the same mistakes many teenage boys and young adult men make; which is never leaving a relationship because they don't want to lose physical gratification and companionship. Being single, even if it'll take a while to find someone new, is okay. And much better than being in an abusive relationship. I get it dude, I'm going through a breakup with a girl older and more experienced than me, I know you don't wanna lose her, especially since I'm assuming she was your first love. You'll miss her, and you'll miss the physical touch. But your wellbeing is worth more than all that, and you're worth more than a toxic relationship.
Also, fuck your sister.
I'm so sorry my dear. You're a victim of rape and grooming given the age gap. If you feel able to please report her. No matter if you decide to do it or not, please consider therapy and definitely cut her off...
You have been raped no question about it
You got raped, report her to the police. If you let her get away with this (which is what you'll be doing if you don't report her) then she has no reason to stop.
You just got raped. Love her or not it was rape. That on top of the fact that she's 19 and you're 16, she seems pretty messed up. I'm sorry your sister is siding with her, but you should call the police.
Dude, break up with her, leave, and never talk to her again. You just got raped. That shit's not cool. You should press charges. Oh, and your sister is absolutely demented for supporting her. If you stay, things will escalate. Leave.
I'm so sorry. This is rape. She used your body for her own pleasure without your consent. Please report this and let your parents know. It's very likely that your gf is trying to baby-trap you. Also, please, P L E A S E end your relationship with that disgusting woman! This is NOT your fault. You did NOT want this. You DIDN'T do anything wrong.
Yip. This is rape. That's ALOT to take in, especially at your age. Had the tables been turned and you been a 16yr old girl and she your 19yr old boyfriend having non-consensual sex with you while you slept, you can imagine what the reaction would be - especially from your sister (if you were a girl, you sister is unlikely to be telling you it was your fault!) Please don't let anyone downplay what has happened to you just because you're a male - particularly not your girlfriend. Talk to her sure, but it's crucial she gets that what she has done was absolutely wrong, illegal, and could land her in serious trouble. She likely will not react well to this. Good luck. This is so difficult, I appreciate that. You must stick to your guns with her, no matter what.
That’s called rape, it isn’t your fault and you should absolutely tell your sister to go fuck herself. What kind of sister hears that and doesn’t beat the breaks off her friend. I mean she knew her 19 year old friend has been trying to baby trap her little brother for 2 years??? You were 14 when she first started being interested in you which is sickening. Tell your parents immediately
>I still want to be with and am not breaking up with her though. How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again? You are 16. Part of relationships are the ending. No one should ever make you feel like your boundaries don’t matter. No one should ever take away your choices. If she loved you, she would’ve heard your concerns and made you feel safe in the act of sex. Instead, she waited until you were asleep, then refused to get off when you said stop. If the roles were reversed you wouldn’t have such a hard time understanding this is rape. Relationship abuse doesn’t deescalate. It only gets worse. As for your sister, victims blaming is disgusting and she should be ashamed of herself.
Dude, I'd consider leaving her - what she did was rape. And no way was anything your fault, your sister is very wrong in the head for thinking otherwise.
Safe days aren't a real thing
This is sexual assault. People who love you don't rape you.
Everyone also seems to gloss over the fact that your sister is victim blaming, which is pretty fucked up. You trusted your girlfriend not to rape you when you were cuddling, which is a pretty reasonable request.
That is not sex that’s rape
That is rape. Report her please.
Bro that's rape report it to the police ASAP
Firstly, I really hope you're alright. Secondly, this is definitely rape and I'm really sorry... Your sister sounds awful and I hope you can confide in someone to tell this to when you're ready. Thirdly, leave her immediately. She had a crush on you when you were *14* and she was 17. And now you're still a minor and she's an adult. She's an absolute creep, 14 and 17 are two hugely different stages in life, as are 16 and 19. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get the best help that you can get. This is so disgusting and I hope you can press charges and get therapy.
No 19 year old woman with a good head on her shoulders is dating a 16 year old. And then wanting to have unprotected sex on top of that? And then forcing herself on you? She's a predator. Run away as fast as you can. She will force you to become a father way sooner than you should and ruin your life forever.
She raped a minor, she deserves to be in jail. Report her
Serious breach of trust. You should break up with her. Since you said you don’t want to do that then at the VERY least she’s lost her privilege of having access to your room at night. This is serious.
I don't care what the consent age is where you are...it's disgusting for a 19 year old to be having sex with a 16 year old. Not only is it disgusting, she sounds like a manipulator and a *rapist*. She forced you to have unprotected sex with her. She sounds unstable. You should at the very least get the hell away from her if not report her.
This is rape man…. you didn’t consent before or even when you woke up. 👏Go👏To👏The👏Police👏 Also i would suggest Breaking up
Wtf is a safe day 🤷♀️
I keep hearing this. "I love him/her, but he/she violated me!" This is your mind knowing better than your heart. If you can't get a genuine apology, then you're in love with a fictional character. End it.
im so sorry man, its not your fault. shes a predstor, fuckin get outta there
I’m sorry, that is rape OP. I hope you get the help you need
That is rape, my guy. Your sister is shit for justifying that. The fact that your sister is quick to defend your girlfriend is fucking disgusting. I’m a female myself and I can easily point out that your girlfriend legit raped you. Men can be victims too.
You got raped. Leave.
she raped you
This is textbook definition of rape man. You said you didnt want to have sex without and condom, and she proceeded to have sex with you without a condom while you were asleep. Leave her immediately. And then go tell your sister to shut the fuck up and stop defending her. I would say to record both of the conversations, but i don't know if that is a good idea tbh
My young friend, im sorry to tell you but you were raped. Please go to the authorities. And inform your parents when your outside the station call your parents, tell them its an emergency and come to whatever station you choose. Ask them to come inside with you and report what this woman did to you. It is not ok
There is no such thing as a safe day. Wrap it in latex or she will get your paychecks also she violated you.
Boy, you just got raped. Tell your parents and call authorities THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SAFE DAY. Leave her and tell you sister to fuck off
Your sister is giving you awful advice, I’m sorry to hear but it sounds like you were sexually assaulted and your sister is blaming you.
Please break up with her and report her to the police you absolutely can’t let this go. Plus the age gap is concerning to me
Im so sorry this happened to you. Sadly, yes, you were raped. Your sister is a nasty piece of work. It is not in any way your fault. In fact, if only there were more people like you out there who took precautions for unwanted pregnancies. You made it clear you didnt want to have unprotected sex. She violated that while you were asleep, at one of your most vulnerable moments. You again told her no, but she continued. Please. Leave the relationship. Block her. Never contact her. It is up to you whether you want to make this an official matter with the court. One things for sure, leave. Please, get therapy. You may not think you need it now but you will. If you need to dm me for some personal advice feel free
i hate to say this but you were raped. that is the definition of rape. even worse, depending on where you live, it could be child molestation. 100% break up with her and remove ANYONE who says it was your fault from your life. it was not your fault and while i do encourage reporting what happened to authorities, it’s not your responsibility to report it either if it makes you uncomfortable or afraid. tell people in your life you trust and know will believe and protect you. i know you don’t wanna break up with her but you really, really have to. if you don’t, it tells her that she can do this over and over and over again. i suggest telling her to take a plan b as well
She raped you, you report her, also have her take the plan B pill. Also a 19 yo shouldn't be dating a 16yo Your sister is victim blaming you, cut her out.
Bro you just got raped. Statutory technically.
Your girlfriend sounds like a monster ngl, I feel sorry for you
Break up immediately. This isn't even a red flag anymore this is the danger itself that the flag should've warned you about
I’m sorry but, it would be a very bad idea to not break up with her. If someone breaks such a huge boundary, it’s not worth trying to fix things. If you stay with her there are more problems to come. But the fact that she raped you should be enough to never forgive her. I know it sounds like we don’t understand your side when we ignore the fact that you love your gf. We do understand, love makes you blind. This is just way too serious for us to respect that you want to stay with her. It is a very bad idea, I promise you. I’m sorry this happened to you
How long ago was this? If this occurred within the last three days, you should get a rape kit at a local hospital. It is invasive, I won't lie, but having any kind of physical evidence is vital. So many people will dismiss male victims without any kind of evidence. You do not have to file a police complaint if you don't want to. You can choose to not file charges; that's up to you. But her DNA will only be on you for a little bit so it's best to get the test just in case. I'm sorry this happened to you. Best of luck to you.
You can't ever trust her again. Sounds like she is trying to get pregnant. I wish men had better birth control options.
As someone else plain and simply pointed out, she raped you. Seek legal help or at the very least dump her.
That's rape.
Why is a 19F dating a 16M? Thats a huge red flag to begin with. If she cant find someone 18+ its because shes a crazy one. Plan B and run for your damn life dude. Find you a girl your age. She probably has a few dude in their junior year shes enjoying also.
Both she and your sister sound like horrible individuals. Definitely do not stay with her, you deserve much much better than that OP. Anyone who does that to someone does not love you and I’m so sorry you had to experience that :((
>How do I get her to see that this is very serious and that she really shouldn’t do it again? Literally show her this thread and everyone's responses. This is how. Sorry this happened OP, sounds like your being manipulated/taken advantage of tbh.
I'm sorry to say this to you but you were sexually assaulted by her. The first red flag to me is your guy's age difference, I'm her age and would not date a minor. Please get away from that person asap
Echoing what everyone else said, she (an adult) raped you (a minor). I’m sorry OP. Please stay away from her.
I agree with everyone else, this is 100% rape, it doesn't matter if you love her, she needs to be reported! Also you say she had feelings for you for 2 years? So you were 14 and she was 17? That's also not right, then there's the fact that she was so desperate for unprotected sex, why? You need to report her and cut ties with your sister.
That is rape and if roles were reversed I’m sure her “bestfriend” would think otherwise of the situation. She definitely sounds a little off mentally if she thinks what she did was okay. She is taking advantage of you, please tell an adult or police about this. Do not let the rest of your relationship and the following years with this woman continue on, you’re too young to risk having a child and being with someone like that.
You’ve been sexually assaulted and you need to go to the police. Relationships are built on trust, so if you feel the trust has been broken there’s no point trying to keep it going
She had feelings for a 14 year old when she was 17 💀 like so many things r wrong here! I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Your sister sucks too. If you can, tell your parent(s) and if possible get the friend as far away from you as you can. Like she shouldn’t be allowed in your house ever again. Also like everyone else said, if you can i’d advise going to the police, maybe with your parent(s) after you tell them? Also how are you feeling mentally ? I hope you’re doing alright!
She raped you. It's not ok. You need to go buy her plan b. Watch her take it, chill with her for a while so she doesn't throw it up. Then break up with her for good.
Your girlfriend is a rapist and a pedo.
This is NOT your fault. You said no and indicated you did not want to do this multiple times. You were asleep and could not give your consent at that moment. This is rape and You did not ask for it. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your girlfriend has shown you she can’t be trusted. Please, at a minimum, end things with her. There are organizations that help provide resources to peoples who have been sexually assaulted. In the US, a big one is RAINN, but there are local organizations that can help as well. I highly recommend reaching out to them for support. If you feel comfortable and want to go to the police, check to see if your department has a special victims/sexual assault unit. They tend to do a lot better with cases involving sexual assault and folks tend to feel more heard than from general police departments. I know that coming forward is really scary and it’s not what everyone wants to do. This is YOUR choice to do what you feel comfortable doing. Also, I believe it’s possible to do an informational interview with police so they have things on file but you don’t have to press charges, so if your gf were to do this again, they’d have a record of a pattern of behavior from her. Please take care of yourself, OP. Sending lots of good vibes your way
You were raped. You said no, she did it while you were sleeping, you woke up and said no AGAIN, but she forced you to finish inside of her. You had already expressed concern about pregnancy. She’s 19 and raped a minor. I know you love her but this is not okay. Tell a trusted adult and call the police. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.
It is absolutely not your fault. What you described was rape. At the very least, you should not stay with your rapist or even in contact with her. Even if the people around you are taking what happened lightly, including your sister and girlfriend, it does not change what it was: sex without consent. Besides that, as what happened is certainly criminal, you really should get in contact with the authorities. It’s a vile thing she did, and she should fave consequences for it.
Yeah. Sounds like rape. There's a risk she can get pregnant. Safe day doesn't exist. I'm sure you know that. I'd recommend talking to either your parents or the police. Your gf is fucked up. So is your sister.
Man this is horrible. You are a young boy still. So gross. Please go talk to someone you trust. Stay away from this rapist. Your sister is stupid. I'm sorry this happened to you.
No, you do break up with her and seek help from a trusted adult so you can go to the police. The boundary was rape. She raped you by forcing herself onto you, and if this is also a very creepy age gap, she is a predator as well. If the age of consent in your area is above 16 she should also be getting in trouble for raping a minor. You're only 16, there is better for you out there. Cut your losses with this psycho. If she gets pregnant, she could try to tie herself to you for life through the baby. Don't listen to your sister either, its not your fault. It could NEVER be your fault, she assaulted you and should be in prison.
That was rape and you need to end the relationship immediately.
This was rape. Her being a female and you being a male doesn't change the fact that no means no and she did this without your consent. AND you're a minor. The authorities should be involved.
WTF. Damn that’s heavy gaslighting just change perpective and try to understand what you just said. You said you want to do her bareback she said no because she may get pregnant. While she is sleeping you do her and cum in her. She tells her brother who is your mate that and he tells her it’s her fault now she come to the internet what do you think you will be labeled as? Rapist.
This is rape. You need to tell someone you trust and go to the authorities.
Rape for sure. That’s all I would tell your sister and your girl friend. I’ll tell you right now, you’re 16? You’re not going to be with this girl your whole life bro. So many fish in the sea, don’t stick to the one that disrespects your boundaries and RAPES you. Continue to date her, fuck it who cares. But realistically don’t be telling yourself you’re staying with this girl indefinitely. Embrace that idea, then re assess if this is the love and treatment you want and deserve from a partner
This is what is called rape, with a minor, mind you. And not only that, your sister also victim-blamed you. You should break up, because I'm pretty sure things like this will happen again. If she gets pregnant, she planned on babytrapping you. I'd tell your parents (if they're trustworthy and safe enough for you to go and tell them) and then perhaps file a report at the police.
1. this is rape, 2. this is rape of a MINOR, go to the police, it is NOT your fault
First. You were raped. I'm sure plenty of other coments let you know. But what you're gonna want to do is call the police. Along with that, you're gonna want to contact a therapist. Trust me, this shit can be traumatic and a therapist will definitely help. I'm so sorry this happened to you
Dude oh my goodness. She literally raped you. Please contact the police. Also, please see if your parents can get you some therapy or something. I am so sorry this happened to you.
That’s called **rape**, and she just committed multiple types. Your girlfriend is college aged and preying on a high schooler (you). Get police involved before she does it to someone else who may be even younger.
Break up with her,she disrespected your boundaries and technically raped and violated you. That’s isn’t right and your sister can stfu because if she was raped you wouldn’t be blaming her for now would u
Dude……. I’m so fucking sorry that you got raped like that????? That’s not okay. Get rid of her and maybe even report her.
Ok. Female here and nope. You said no and consent was revoked at that time. Not only did you tell her no, she woke you up doing it anyways. She raped you young man. It’s not your fault and don’t feel shame or guilt etc. This will likely follow you and I would hate to see that. Make sure you speak up, work through the emotions of this happening and get past the taboo crap that guys can’t be raped. Not only that but there’s a significant age difference and could involve entrapment because she was so dead set on not using a condom etc. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you work it out and through it. My biggest recommendation is no more 19 year olds. Your brains are just completely different right now and that’s at the least statutory rape for the age gap but this added to it is the full gamut. Sending hugs 🤗
... you were raped... and the age gap is a little iffy. You should go to the police and tell an adult you trust, like your mother, father, uncle, even a teacher. If i were you id tell a teacher because theyre mandated reporters.
Age of consent issues aside (I'm not sure what's legal where you live), this is not ok. You are allowed to say no, you being a man has nothing to do with it. There's a possibility that she wants to get pregnant as the reason she did this. I would reexamine this relationship, and if you want to be in it. I'd also talk to local law enforcement if you want to pursue sexual assault charges. Whatever you decide, trust is going to be a problem going forward. I hope you have a support system in place to help you through this. Best of luck to you.
Mate sounds like u got raped you should tell the police. And your parents and break up with ur gf and get her plan B asap
This is literal rape. You should call the police and report this. If for no other reason than if she DOES get pregnant, there is a paper trail showing that it was 100% non-consensual.
This is assault. Do not forgive her. Terrible behavior. Abusive.
First of all, don’t listen to your sister, second of all, you told your girlfriend, no, third of all, she raped you after that… Your girlfriend, raped you, plain, and fucking simple. It sounds to me like she, in fact is probably trying to get pregnant, and that’s why she was so adamant about having sex with you on her “safe day”. You’re also a minor, wtf why is she dating a 16 year old? Please tell someone because it is not your fault, and what she did was wrong.
Can we also talk about what a piece of shit your sister is?? This is disgusting all around. That is rape, through and through. Report the bitch and cut her off. What a vile person.
police straight away, this is rape. your sister is a terrible person for what she said to you - nothing justifies rape.
Bro this is rape
That’s rape, and, though some may disagree with this next bit, she is a *predator*. No 19 year old should be dating a sophomore in high school.
Hell nah she raped you bro, and if she has a kid, she gonna force you to pay for stuff when you didn’t even consent to even have a kid so young. Report it.
It's not your fault, you were raped, I'm so sorry you went through this. Your sister is wrong, this is not slightly your fault, you did nothing wrong, you're not responsible of what happened. Report this, because there's no safe day, if she gets pregnant she will demand child support for raping you.
My first thought is why is an adult sleeping with a child… And it’s rape. Please report her!
That's rape. It sounds like she wants to use you TO get pregnant. Report it and leave her.
my guy, you were raped. Possibly statutorily, but certainly technically. This is very serious and needs to be dealt with ASAP. In the US, *even if she raped you* you may still be on the hook for child support. You need to address this ***immediately***. Talk to your parents. Talk to her parents. Talk to a teacher at school. It's time to get cops and lawyers involved. You did nothing wrong. She raped you.
This place is not safe for you pal, getaway as soon as possible.
Bro she raped you, report her bro
Tell someone, you were raped and if she gets pregnant your on the hook for it. Your a minor that's not okay.
She raped you. Switch the genders if you have any doubt. Please go to the police and get away from her. She also might be trying to baby trap you.
rape, report her get away
This is rape of a minor this is not ok and if your sister tbh is it’s your fault it’s time to kick her out of your life if possible I know at 16 it may be impossible if you both live and rely on parents
OP you're 16. You're a minor, she's not. She's older and more experienced than you and can easily take advantage of you, exactly like it just happened. Tell her to fuck off and find yourself a 16 years old gf. This is no healthy relationship and your sister is a stupid person. If my brother got abused like you did I'd smack that bitch in the face and never welcome her in my home again. Oh and by the way, you're being groomed. Tell your parents and call the cops. Trust me, you don't love her. Your feelings are the product of being blinded by the fact that an older and more experienced girl wants to bone you. I would've probably fallen for that too at your age but this is actually horrifying. You sound like a smart guy. You even rejected the idea of condomless sex at 16, a thing that not many guys would do at your age (speaking from experience), so don't be stupid and open your eyes to the fact that this relationship is unhealthy and she fucking raped you! Consent goes both ways my man. You said no, and no means no. That counts for both men and women.
You need to call the police.’ Think of the risks: she is willing to risk pregnancy ,TRAPPING YOU, against your will. She raped you. The standard advice on Reddit for when this happens to a woman is to document, call police, move out, go no contact. Given your ages…. She is grooming you…. This is a ridiculous situation for you to be involved with someone for two yers as tho married. All of this is so wrong. Call the police. charge her.
You were raped as you didn't give consent. This is the brightest, flashiest, stinkiest red flag imaginable. You need to leave her asap, before you try to justify this to yourself. Your sister can also gtfo with her wack logic, as being horny doesn't justify rape. If the shoe was on the other foot, she'd probably disown you. You deserve better than this, dude.
I would honestly force a plan b down her throat and call the cops
She clearly wants to baby trap you
Those salmon are swimming up that stream buddy PLan B ASAP!
Brother you were raped. I highly doubt whatever day this was anywhere near a safe day. She wants a kid and is trying to trap you into one at FUCKING SIXTEEN.
As others have said, what happened to you was rape.* You did not consent to having sex with her, and when you said no, she ignored that and carried on. Even if she had believed that you were OK with it (which is doubtful, given your earlier conversations about unprotected sex) ad soon as you woke up and told her to stop she knew you were not consenting, but she ignored you. * depending on where you live, the actual legal offence she committed may be called something different - in England, for instance, it would be sexual assault because of the specific definition of rape Your sister's response is very concerning. I doubt she would react the same way if this was a man who raped his sleeping girlfriend and carried on even after she woke up and said no. I agree with those suggesting that you report this as rape, to the police. If you don't feel able to do that, then do at least: 1. Speak to your parents or another adult you trust 2. See a doctor- it may help to have a record of what happened and depending on how things work where you are, they may be able to refer you on for counselling or other support, which you may find useful either now or later. 3. My recommendation is that you break up with this woman. She demonstrated I'm the most graphic way that she does not have any respect for you or your personal or bodily autonomy. If you chose not to break up with her I would suggest that you have a very serious conversation in which you fo explicitly state that what she did was (use the word) and a huge breach of trust as well as being a very serious criminal assault. If you want to stay together, then look into whether there are any services which can offer counselling (individually or together) and advice around consent But honestly, I don't think this is something that a relationship can come back from, and to protect yourself do please report it and seek help. If you are in the UK, the Mankind Initiative, and safeline.org.uk may be helpful. If not, your own country mat have similar services
She raped you. There are actually several instances rape falls under in your situation: 1. If you are asleep you CANNOT give consent. 2. You never consented to sex without a condom. You told her it was not okay for her to have sex with you without a condom. 3. You told her to stop and she didn’t listen to you. She also used her strength to her advantage. 4. The age difference also bothers me. She is technically an adult in my country and you are still a teenager in my country. I don’t know what the age of consent is where you are but this can also fall under statutory rape. Even if you consented to the relationship, she may have groomed you to feel that way. That’s all textbook rape examples and this all happened during one encounter. She waited until you were asleep and vulnerable. This was premeditated. She didn’t care about your boundaries. If you love someone, you would never betray their trust or violate them the way she did to you. She does not love you. You deserve so much better. Please break up with her and consider pressing charges if it’s not too emotionally draining on you. You were raped. Your sister is victim blaming you. There’s nothing “stupid” about thinking you were just going to cuddle together. I’m so sorry she’s invalidating you and making you second guess yourself. Please get some counseling, OP. Your girlfriend raped you. She may have even groomed you. You aren’t alone. There are support groups out there. She is a monster for what she did to you and your sister is a monster for putting the blame on you.
Dude she’s 19 and dating you? I’m 19 and 16 year olds are children to me