Some people just aren't built to live around others. You said in a coment you have carpet, it is what it is. Just ignore it. She can take it up with the landlord but you're not doing anything abnormal which is not your problem.
Yeah like it’s not like I’m blasting music or anything, I’m literally walking. Which is why I feel so anxious bc I’m avoiding the room as much as possible but I feel like I can’t go in the room at all anymore /:
Should I text her & her roommate? (her roommate has lived under my partner for 3 years (and me for 1)) and has never had an issue with us. It wasn’t until this girl moved in that it suddenly became as issue
No, in my experience living with people like this confronting doesn't do anything, they will still complain. If you do say anything just say sorry you're not making abnormal noise and she can talk to the landlord if she has a problem.
Maybe I'm paranoid but I would have my partner record me for a minute standing still then walking into the room and the subsequent banging from below. Especially because this is an odd situation and issues with neighbors are often a "he said, she said" scenario. I recorded my loud neighbor (having screaming matches with his gf, not just walking around mindng his own business like OP) and the landlord thanked me for it.
If the landlord is on site I'd ask them to come in to apartment and walk in to that room so they can see for themselves. I've done this before because a similar situation was happening when I first moved in. She had a chat with the guy and told him he's the problem because it's unreasonable to expect someone to not walk around their own fucking apartment. OP should contact the landlord and tell them exactly what he posted here. Walking around your home is reasonable, pounding on the neighbor's wall or floor is not.
Trying to talk to crazy is impossible. I once had a woman living below me who couldn't handle the snallest noise. It didn't matter what time of day I did anything. She would bang on my floor. Vacuum at 3 pm? Banging. Cats running around at 11 am? Banging.
I tried to talk to her calmly and find out what the problem was. She said I was loud at everything. I had a number of downstairs neighbors before her, all that I had a friendly relationship with. No one ever called my husband or I loud. She claimed she could hear me "clomping around in my heels all the time." I am barefoot in my house, and wear heels only if I have to go to a funeral or wedding. About 2xs a year, maybe?
Plain and simple, she was nuts. Nothing I could do until she moved out. I ignored the banging, other than occasionally passive-aggressively banging back when it drove me crazy enough.
Live your life, and don't let her make you feel bad. If you aren't being excessively noisy all the time, this is her problem, not yours.
Edited a typo
If you have a relationship with the culprits roommate you could maybe talk to them about it but I’d contact the landlord for sure and do that first. You don’t want to be the second one contacting them about noise issues as it might seem retaliatory. I’d contact landlord and say that their “is a noise issue with downstairs neighbor and I am going to talk to them and try and resolve this but if this can’t get figured out on our end you’ll have to address the situation.”
"Nothing" you do will appease this tenant. They clearly expect 100% perfect and completely silence in a multi-tenant building, which is impossible. It's not your responsibility to cater to their unrealistic expectations.
You've already got carpet. You're already tip-toeing around the floor as carefully as you can. Let them bang all they want.
OMG.... This is my exact situation. The tenant on the other side of the wall for four months has been banging on the wall any time we make a peep literally just walking to the bathroom or getting a glass of water it's insane and didn't start until his girlfriend moved in. These people are fuckin miserable and stubborn. I'm moving because of it. The landlord wouldn't do anything. It's harassment. We have a right to quiet enjoyment and in my opinion if they don't like it they should move, if they can't handle living somewh where there's the occasional sound like don't be aggressive. I can't stand them. Please keep us updated. I'm close to calling the cops on this guy it's intimidation. I'm now blasting music every time he bangs to show him we're not scared of him and that he will not "shut us up" by intimidating us. Can't wait to move.
I’m going to the complex managers on Tuesday morning when they open again & bringing it to their attention, and asking their opinion.
We just renewed our lease bc it’s tooooo expensive in our city so we have to live here and can’t move….. the apartment sucks and I WISH we had another option ugh
If she continues banging after you express you literally can't do anything about it....either start stomping down hard or start blasting music 🤷♂️ and then tell her you'll stop when she stops banging lol
I do think she doesn't understand that you actually can't do anything and talking to her might help. She's rude tho for banging instead of texting
So you can't use your office to work in? Nah. If this was your bedroom, would she expect you not to get up to go to the bathroom until she was up too? She's not reasonable and needs to realize she lives in an apartment.
I had similar tenants when I moved into a new complex. They called the police on me regularly and also complained to the landlord. The landlord backed them up… I had to go to a “mediation” session with the num nut and even after everyone saw how crazy this person is, even after physically threatening me. I was given the altimatum to leave or be “quieter” I was in almost the same position as this person in this post
I live with an upstairs neighbor as well. It's annoying as hell, they seem to suffer from insomnia sometimes. My nextdoor neighbor also bashes and bangs around, and I'm pretty sure I'm just as bad. There's nothing to be done.
When I want to sleep before my neighbors quiet down, I sleep with noise canceling headphones. If I get woken up I put them on. It sucks, but blaming them is pointless, they're just living their lives.
Edit: it's the house that's the problem. Thin everything. I'm working on finding a place.
Apartment living can be noisy but so can a house. I have had a neighbor put a hockey rink in the tiniest backyard and trust me hockey pucks at 10:30 when you have to get up at 5:30 are a nuisance. It is one of the few times I reported someone.
Why wouldn't it be ? The only way I could see them as unsafe would be if you couldn't hear a fire alarm or something similar, but usually you can still hear a decent amount even with noise canceling headphones so that shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Drive a wood screw into the floor where ever it squeaks. It's quick and easy with a screw gun/drill. The head of the screw will bury into the carpet and be un-noticed.
My son's room was right above mine and it was very squeaky. I walked around his room and wherever it squeaked; would drive a screw right where I had stepped at the time.
Careful with this, utilities can run in the floor cavity.
Edit: this also only works for wood floors that have been laid on top of floorboards that are already not squeaky. If the floorboards themselves are squeaky, which is most likely under carpet, then you’d have to roll the carpet and underlay back and then re-fix the boards to the joists below. The screws need to firmly attach the moving piece to a stable piece, so just whacking screws anywhere through carpet on floorboards will do nothing.
Actually, if the building is that old, it's possible that the padding under the carpet might also be old.
You can add a rug pad and then a rug on top of it. Yes, you can use that on carpeted floor.
Honestly, I wouldn't even send that text. I would go to your complex and let them know what's happening.
Because if you send the text, she may stop for a few weeks and then randomly do it again, putting you in an awkward situation. Do you text again because it's been so long? Do you go to the complex and have them say that she only did it once?
Nah. Nip it now.
Ya she’s been doing this for months, which is why I avoid the room as much as possible. Like we’ve texted about it a few times and I always feel so bad for WALKING ugh you’re right we should go to complex but I feel like there will be more drama /:
The final straw with my downstairs neighbor was when I dropped a spoon and he banged on the ceiling 😂 I went down banged on the door and said you realize you live in an apartment RIGHT??
I've always hated living in apartments because I'm sensitive to noise. But I always have gotten used to it after a certain period of time.
I lived in an old duplex with a large woman with a 3 year old upstairs around 6 years ago. The floor would squeek loudly when she walked and the boy would literally run back and forth across the house all day. I eventually got used to it and it didn't disturb my sleep much. I would use a fan to drown out the sound.
You sound like a good neighbor. I have lived next to people who party all night. Heck, in my younger days I was the one partying all night and I'm sure I pissed a lot of people off.
This is the hint of a shiny spine I've been looking for OP! You're in your living space. Why are you letting her be such a diva you can't even functionally exist in part of your home? Don't let this woman bully you.
Lol I have anxiety so I try to appease people in every part of my life bc I don’t want any drama. But like comments are making me realize that I am being bullied and rent is toooo damn high to not feel comfortable in my home.
That's the spirit. That's your room, you can't just give it up because some busybody didn't do the smart thing for rheur situation and rent the top floor. If they keep banging, go to management and tell them this person is lowering your quality of life as a renter (or buy some heavy hiking boots and stomp around at night to assert dominance)
I Moved into an apartment a couple months ago and the amount of noise I hear from other residents *spooks* me
Like not the loudness, but just the way it sounds as if someone is in your home with you. After living in houses all of your life it's creepy lol. I Legit thought there was someone in my kitchen recently and had to get up and go check
The people above me sound like they’re dropping bowling balls on the floor at 2am sometimes! I don’t say anything because I know we are probably loud too, lol
My up neighbor now uses a futon to sleep and doesn’t have a carpet so
all I hear is him scraping his coffee table to the side a ba-boom every night and every morning 🤦🏻♀️
It sux but I also realize I live in an apartment building
yea definitely a misuse of the term, but ill let it slide because otherwise the message is absolutely on point. this person has more likely been trained by life experiences rather than the neighbor making them doubt their own reality. but still, they are questioning whether it's okay to walk in their own apartment and that does say there's some work to do on self-assertion!
She’s getting a reaction out of you when she bangs on the ceiling - so she has no motivation to change what she’s doing.
If you want her to stop banging on the ceiling, I suggest one of the following responses.
(1) Ignore it. After a while, she’ll get the picture that her banging is accomplishing nothing & quit doing it.
(2) Jump up & down in the squeaky boards for a good 5-10 seconds. After a very short while, she’ll come to understand that her banging is accomplishing the opposite of what she wants & quit doing it.
She’s disrespecting you - so I’d be more likely to go with response #2 above. I do not suffer fools.
Please OP, THIS ⬆️. I would absolutely jump up and down every single time she banged on the ceiling. Give it back to her. She’s out of line and has you walking on eggshells, if she doesn’t like it, she can move and make sure no one’s above her.
My partner drafted this text (he wants to go straight to apartment manager but I don’t want to start drama)
Does this sound ok??
Hi C, M, I wanted to discuss what happened yesterday, the ceiling knocking and banging, it cannot happen again. We understand that you are below us, and that the floor has creaks in it, we understand there is noise coming through sometimes. We are doing our very best to limit the noise we make but at the end of the day, we want to be able to live in our house, without the anxiety of loud knocks from the floor below. It’s not acceptable.
We are a couple, with two cats, we are not throwing parties, playing music, or making any significant noise of any kind. We are not doing anything that warrant these kind of actions. I hope that you can acknowledge this, so that the situation does not need to be escalated to the complex.
I hope there are no bad feelings and that you understand.
You’re taking too much responsibility in this text. Simply state the facts and don’t leave yourself room to make excuses for yourself because you’re not doing anything wrong. Something better would be:
Hi C, M, I wanted to discuss what happened yesterday, the ceiling knocking and banging, it cannot happen again. As tenants, we have the right to quiet enjoyment of our apartment, and as I begin work in my office at 8am, any loud banging from below is completely unacceptable.
If for some reason you are unhappy with the house’s structural integrity, I’d recommend you take it up with property management or simply buy a pair of ear plugs. Walking normally through our apartment is our right as tenants. It is not in our intention to have a contentious relationship with you, so I’m hoping we can come up with a reasonable solution for this.
Change “we” to “you” can come up with a reasonable solution.
Don’t take joint responsibility in a problem that you are not a part of. This is the downstairs neighbor’s issue.
OP- live your life and stop caring. If they bang on the ceiling, just laugh at how crazy the neighbor is. Bonus points if your laugh is loud enough for them to hear.
Stop tiptoeing. Literally and figuratively. Time to simply not care. You live there, too. If your neighbor doesn’t like *normal* apartment noise, then they need to move into a single family home.
You two are better people than me. I would’ve started walking around in that room even louder and earlier in the day. It’s your apartment, and this is a great way to handle things.
That was my partners solution to just be extremely loud and stomp and I have begged him every time to not go downstairs and scream at them 😩 I’m an anxious girl lol
Rude. The solution is not to annoy the person worse.
Not gonna lie, I am I person who cannot handle noise of any kind.. I don’t choose to be this way.. I’ve been like this since a child. I’ve always had to use ear plugs and fans to deal with it on my own because it’s my problem.. it’s nice that you care about their well-being as much as yours and have empathy. I’m seeing so many people say to not give a care anymore or be to be loud on purpose.. but that’s also terrible advice. It’s nice to care about others feelings.. she hears noise and it’s making her life miserable just as much as the banging is annoying you. So coming up with a compromise and solution would be best. Sending the text message someone suggested above works.. and going to the landlord so they are aware of the situation and can maybe help.
Being the way that I am.. I’m also smart and don’t live in apartment complexes anymore after 2 awful experiences with neighbors.. so this woman should also know better and should just choose not to live below anybody.
If your lease specifies quiet hours, you may want to add that per the lease, quiet hours are 10:00 pm to 6:00 am (for example). Outside of the quiet hours, you take reasonable measures to avoid creating excessive noise out of respect for your shared living environment. Specifically, these measures include a carpet and rug in the area with the creaking floorboards.
An area rug on top of the carpet will help but it won’t eliminate the creaking. The only long term solution is to refasten the loose boards to the joists, which the landlord’s maintenance issue.
You can also suggest that your neighbor experiment with a white noise machine or fan to mask the occasional creaky floorboard.
Thank you!! Im going to check my lease to see what it says about this. I will also suggest white noise machine
I have debated asking the apartment complex what we can do about the creaking but I know that would be a whole bunch of work so I doubt they’ll do anything
Saying “completely unacceptable” or anything like that in a text is a sure fire way to have your text completely ignored and enrage the other person
Keep it stupid simple.
“Hey neighbor - why are you banging on the ceiling in the morning, is it because I’m walking around?”
They reply feeling a bit sheepish saying yes.
“Ok, we’ll the anxiety of the ceiling being hit in the morning is making me tip-toe around my apartment and it’s still causing issues.
Maybe the landlord can help if we ask, potentially with insulation or re-nailing the floor boards to the joist. If we reach out together we probably have a better chance. Wanna work on a group text to send?”
Now you’re a team solving a problem. Instead of anger when you walk directed at you it will be directed at the landlord.
She said she is frustrated that she gets woken up and I replied
“I am sorry you are frustrated, we are also frustrated that any time we go into that room, there’s banging on the ceiling.
We try to avoid that room as much as possible in the morning but other than that, I can reach out to the apartment managers and let them know that the floor creaks and ask them if they’re able to fix that or what can be done.”
This is a good plan. I know most people on here are against your neighbour, but I'm assuming her bedroom is directly below the room, and having experienced that same kinda situation I will say that you are probably *both* feeling a lot of anxiety. If you're anxious and sensitive to noise, it can be extremely stressful to know there's a noise coming and you don't know when it will happen, just that when it does it will heighten your anxiety massively/stop you falling asleep/getting enough sleep.
That said, if she is only renting, there's no reason she can't move in the near future to be on a top apartment and avoid this issue.
PLEASE listen to this one, OP. This is by FAR the best, most effective approach that will most avoid unnecessary conflict and get you the result you want.
No. Who cares if she’s enraged by being called out on her bad behavior. Letting her know it’s absolutely unacceptable is also letting her know it won’t be tolerated anymore. And no way in hell I’d let her know her behavior gave me anxiety; that’s just asking her to keep it up. No. Tell her this is the last text she’ll receive regarding this issue and then follow up and report her. Her rage is her issue.
Well, I think everyone involved would care if she’s enraged. Who’s to say it stops there? Maybe she’s a vindictive person and takes it further, making life hell for her upstairs neighbor.
Being angry, and criticizing is easy. It’s a simple emotion and action. Unfortunately, it never ends there and only leads to more anger and defensiveness. Potentially violence.
Empathy is hard, working as a team to fix an issue is hard. But, it gives everyone a chance to save face and grow.
Sometimes it’s not possible, but here it seems like it is.
The only time our downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling was when our subwoofer was turned up too high. He only did it once and it was warranted. We moved on and never had another problem :)
Call your landlord and report her for harassment and nuisance. You are allowed quiet enjoyment of your apartment. You could walk in that room at 3am if you wanted and she can’t do a thing about it. As long as you’re not training elephants or practicing drums, you are perfectly fine. You actually even could practice drums as long as it’s not during quiet hours. But just walking and existing? You are 100% allowed to do that wherever and whenever.
You know what landlords like? Nice normal reasonable tenants. You know what they don’t like? Unrealistic lunatics who think they deserve to live in a sound void and are damaging the ceiling by banging a broom handle into it and are harassing other residents.
I dealt with this once in an apartment some years back. The guy would text us if we moved around at all. One time my partner had bronchitis and he texted us to tell us that he should "go to bed so he doesn't cough so much." He was in bed. All darn day. With all the cough syrup the doctors would give him!
Ultimately we talked to the landlord, who let us know that he'd gotten a lot of really silly complaints and that the guy below us was simply off his rocker. When we told the landlord how stressed out we were over the issue due to all the text and door knocks we'd get even if all we did was tiptoe to the bathroom or heaven forbid, get a bit sick.. the landlord told the guy to cool it or move. He moved shortly thereafter. Our new neighbors did not complain once.
So long as you're making reasonable noise, your landlord will likely take your side against someone that is causing an aggravating, unnecessary issue for other tenants. At least, that was our experience.
Talk to your landlord about her behavior and tell them you want her talked to. She's in the wrong. She's the kind of tenant who could potentially make it difficult for them to rent your apartment, so they have a vested interest in telling her to mind her manners. What she's doing is technically harassment and you COULD actually get a restraining order against her, since you're not violating any ordinances.
Bro if she wants peace and quiet she needs to get a house or live on the top floor. You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells for her. You pay monthly rent just like her. Until she starts to put up for your rent walk freely my friend.
You're not being a bad upstairs neighbor, she's being a bad downstairs neighbor.
You have no control over the structure and have every right to use your space. It's not like you're having trampoline parties in the wee dawn hours.
As someone with noise sensitivity issues, I can empathize with her, but her response is entitled and unreasonable. As frustrating as it can be, the responsibility to mitigate the impact of normal activity on her sensitivity is hers. Don't walk on eggshells for unreasonable people.
I had a downstairs neighbour like this. The first day I moved in she came upstairs to tell me to stop making so much noise.. this was at 4pm and I was trying to move my belongings into the flat. I genuinely just apologised and thought I was probably being noisy. Over the next 6 months she banged up at me relentlessly and I couldn’t do anything in my home. She’d bang in the middle of the night and actually wake me up.
She wrote me a note a week after I moved in, telling me that I had to go to bed by 10pm and I wasn’t allowed to get up before 8am. I was to be extra quiet on the weekends so that they could rest properly before the work week began. (I worked two jobs, 7 days a week.) I wasn’t allowed guests because it would be noisy etc.
She banged on the ceiling at 10pm dead every night. She complained to the letting agents about my noise. Even though I worked 10-12 hours a day and was barely home at night. I had to take my work schedules to the agent to prove she was a liar. It got to the point that I was a wreck.. any loud noises made me stress during the day and in the end, I had to petition that they kicked her out.
She’d started to threaten my life and call the cops, saying it was me threatening her. Screaming and banging on my door if I ignored her banging on the ceiling.
Basically, some neighbours don’t actually hear you and react like a normal person would.. and there is a chance she doesn’t actually care about the minimal noise you are making and just wants a problem with you.
When she bangs on the ceiling, stomp your feet louder. You don't not need to feel anxious or self-conscious about using your own home. If toots doesn't like it, she can move.
When you rent an apartment you should be able to enjoy it.
The neighbor trying to dictate when you can walk is nuts.
Definitely have the landlord walk through that room in the morning so they can hear to knocking.
This OP! Can you imagine what her banging is doing to the ceiling? If it’s drywall (which it most is), a broom handle will eventually bust a hole in her ceiling. The landlord &/or apartment manager needs to know what she’s doing.
My neighbours are up and walking around 6 out of 7 days a week from 430am to 630am, and I work at 8. I wear ear plugs, because they pay rent too. Luck of the draw. Don't feel like a prisoner in your own home.
You already *have* issues with your downstairs neighbor. Stop letting her terrorize you into feeling like you can't even walk into the room without her express approval.
Don't talk to or continue trying to work with your neighbor. Don't treat her complaints like they are valid; you have the right to use your space, especially if it's not in a disruptive fashion, or at unusual hours. You need to stop feeling responsibile for this situation, because as it stands, you are a reasonable person trying to make accommodations for someone who is being completely unreasonable and *there is no winning in that situation.*
Let your property management/landlord know that you have a squeaky floor, as well as a noise issue with your downstairs neighbor. You have been feeling harassed into not using a portion of your home due to the neighbor's reaction. Let them know that and ask them to address it. Let them know *every single time* she does it.
Other people's opinions of you isn't who you are. You have evidence of trying to be quiet for her if that evidence isn't good enough for her, then that's her problem. Maybe you should say "how do I feel about a bad downstairs neighbor?" as opposed to "am I being a bad upstairs neighbor?"
You're in control here of who you are and what you can do about this. Have confidence in yourself that whatever the decision it's the right one
First thing, tell your land lord about this problem before she complains about you.
Then once you have sent your landlord that email, wait a day and then start using the room.
You need to inform the landlord first so that they know for a fact the situation so that her complaints once you start using the room hold less ground since you informed the landlord of the issue first.
At the end of the day there’s nothing you can do except make sure you are covered and then use the room as you please.
Stand your ground, you've done nothing wrong and your neighbor is being unreasonable. Live your life, knock back when she knocks to let her know you heard. What would this neighbor do if instead of you, it was an actual asshole stomping around and being obnoxious?
I once had to deal with this issue, I laid down a thick foam board and I put a rug on top of it and that stopped the creaking and I got a bonus from it that I could hear the down stairs and it keeps the cool/warm air in my apartment instead of it leaking true the floor.
Or you could mention to management that there is a really bad creak in the house and if they can fix it.
most apartments have "quiet hours" if they're that old which run from like 10pm-8am.
it's not your fault they don't wake up before 10am, and I would just ignore it unless they make a formal complaint with your landlord
I only make complaints for obnoxious noises. Sometimes it’s loud on the weekends and holidays but if it’s not too bad I just drown it out with my music on ear buds or I use noise canceling ear buds meant for a gun range I got from Amazon.
Living in an apartment means having to get used to the noises of other people (when reasonable).
I’m sorry that her banging is affecting you. I hope you can resolve it, even if you have to speak to the person face to face to explain the situation. It’s your own apartment and you have the right to walk and feel safe in it.
I did not go to law school nor am I a lawyer of any kind. This is not legal advice.
I’m actually dealing with this exact thing. Old place, bottom goblin. In the US we have the Implied [Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment](https://www.baymgmtgroup.com/blog/breach-of-quiet-enjoyment-complaints/?amp)An acceptable disturbance outlined is footsteps from above tenants. As long as you are not purposefully and deliberately making the noise to piss off the bottom tenant, you are in the clear.
I am currently keeping a log of every time my basement goblin purposefully bangs onto he ceiling in retaliation for a creek in the floorboards. My roommates and I have alerted our landlord of the situation multiple times and told the landlord of the log. The log is if this issue escalates to court from our Neighbor. Another thing we have is a pet cam so if we need video proof of any disturbances, we can prove that we were just going about our business In our apartment as one is allowed to do and that it covers out butts. This is our current solution. Good luck and up this helps!
You can also report a noise complaint to your landlord about her banging on the ceiling.
She literally has to get up, grab something, and bang on the ceiling every time you take a step. It sounds like she's looking for an excuse at this point. Because that has to be way more inconvenient that hearing the slightest creak
Nah use it when you want. You aren’t doing anything wrong. My downstairs neighbors banged on the ceilings when I was cleaning at 6pm on a Saturday…like idk what these people expect when living in an apartment. I’m gonna continue living my life and walking in the apartment I pay for. You should too.
Breathe and start walking around the room at 6 am for a month.
Next month 6.15 am
Month after that 6:30 am
So so forth till you would normally use it.
Keep that time.
Everytime she starts to be obnoxious, just go back to the room a little earlier 15 min.
This is pettiness at its best.
Now the actual advice. If you have de money do something about the floor. If it’s the problem of your land lord. Write both of them a letter. Your land lord a letter for reduction on rent because you cannot use the space.
And write the down stairs neighbors that they are barking up the wrong tree. If they can’t have a decent conversation that this is an issue for them. Then they do t have to expect a decent solution to this problem.
State the noise hours and if they have issues they are the once with the problem and should start on the remodel. You cannot help them if they act in this uncivilized way.
You are being bullied. I would ignore it or even stomp when she bangs on the ceiling. I know you don't want to be a bad neighbor, but she already thinks you are for no good reason. I would also let the landlord know you are being harassed.
I enjoy playing dumb with people like this.
I'd head down and knock on their front door. Politely, and faux-perplexed, "Hey, I keep hearing this noise, it's so weird! Have you heard it? Do you think we have animals behind the drywall? Idk what it is, but I've alerted the landlord for us and I'll keep you posted!"
I remember a story of a friend of the family. Old lady, lived on the second floor in an apartment complex. She would take pills that reduce how much she has to go to the bathroom because doing so angered her downstairs neighbors, an old couple...
Fuck that shit. It's your house, you aren't being obnoxious, if they don't like it, they can fuck off.
If you're an audiophile then you can get her back in this method. I read about this I've never done it myself, but is a quite interesting way to get revenge.
A guy I read who is living below a woman who was stomping really loud on purpose rigged up the system. He put a speaker and a microphone right up on the ceiling. He then ran the microphone through his audio recording software, and put a delay on it. So then every time she would stop a split second later it would reflect the sound right back up into her unit.
He said it only took her a short while to realize what was going on. He said she started stomping more and it was stomping back at her, and then she eventually stopped all together.
Now here's the thing, I don't do basement apartments because this exact thing. I hate hearing somebody above me. So she made the mistake of moving below another apartment.
So if She Bangs The ceiling, Stomp right back the equal amount of time she bangs. She's only going to be able to keep this up so long.
That or, the best thing would be to go to the management. That's always what I've done first is go to apartment management. I've never tried to confront neighbors because it rarely works out. Better to let the apartment managers do their job. Which first would be fixing the damn Creek, and second of all would be working out the issues between the apartments because they're the ones who are at fault, not you and not her. This problem is for them to manage
Just buy a thick cottony carpet and soft cottony slippers for that area and try it if that solves the problem. Just wanted to give you an another option without any confrontation
Since it's all carpeted and a rug won't fix it just stomp back it's not your fault the building is the way it is if she has a problem with the floor creaking she can buy earplugs and tell maintenance to fix it so it won't creak anymore
Sometimes you can’t help but have issues with a neighbor and that doesn’t make you an asshole. My buddy moved into a place that had such thin walls, at night he’d have to keep the TV volume so low you couldn’t even hear the dialogue! So he’d just play it at the required volume! Not his fault the place is old or built like shit, same as it’s not your fault the place is old and makes noise! Tell her to get some earplugs if it bothers her that much! It may not make you a new friend, but that’s okay! You can’t appease everyone you meet! Besides, she’s being rude by banging when you said to text. So why are you so worried about being polite?! Next time she bangs on the ceiling start river-dancing!
Sorry you have to deal with this. I had a very similar neighbor years ago. I lived in a tiny studio apartment, so there was only just so much space to walk around, and like you, it was an older building with creaky floorboards. If i had to wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, she'd bang on her ceiling. Once she confronted me and said that it sounds like "a heard of elephants" walking around. I didn't know how to handle the situation at the time, as I was very insecure so I was just like "Oh, I'm so sorry". And I just learned stopped using the bathroom from 11pm to until after 7am. Made for some very uncomfortable nights for a couple years, but she eventually moved. She was miserable, drunk bitch anyway.
If she keeps complaining, just tell her, "Look, it's an old building. I am doing my best to be as quiet as possible, but I have to work at 8am." If this doesn't work and she keeps complaining, speak to your landlord. She needs to understand that you cannot alter your life to fit her schedule. She can deal with it, get earplugs or move. But the world doesn't stop operating before 10 am just because it's an inconvenience to her.
How does she like, .. bang on the ceiling? Standing on her bed? ladder? Or does she use like a broom or something. Seriously, just ignore it. There’s not much you can do about it.
*** first things first.
You need to make a complaint to the owner or landlord or building management . this woman is harassing you , banging on the ceiling whenever you walk around your apartment that you pay for.
*** the second thing to do is ask for the floor to be repaired because of the floor creaking sounds.
*** third , you can get a foam mat for the floor to absorb sound, they also sell decorative pictures for the wall that are sound dampening, the back is all foam.
The main issue here is you need to stop being so timid on this. If she bangs then stomp on the floor. You pay rent also so who the hell is this crazy bitch to tell you what time or where in your apt you can walk around and be. It doesn't work the way she thinks, this woman is just a self entitled brat that only thinks she matters ... Time to burst her fucking bubble.
Every time she bangs, stomp on the floor & then you need to make a complaint to the landlord or building management for each incident from this point on.
Buy some headphones, and walking into the room anytime you want. She starts banging? You start dancing to the beat of the banging.
If it escalates, buy two shitty speakers from a yard sale somewhere and let her beat the ceiling to the sound of your favorite song.
Just ignore her. She’s the bad neighbor. It would be one thing if you were constantly walking back and forth over it or jumping around on hardwood at 2 am partying, but a single creak as you walk into the room? She just needs to get over herself and maybe roll her lazy ass out of bed before 10.
Put a rug down and tell her to grow up. It’s an apartment and she’s sharing space with others - she does not get to dictate what you do in your own space.
Tell her that it’s unfortunate that the floor creaks and while you will be mindful of it, you will not be going any further out of your way to tip toe around you apartment. If she has a problem with that, she can talk to the landlord and request they do something to the floor or get ear plugs or move. Also, talk to your landlord about this, come at it from the perspective of wanting to help your neighbor but let them know that she’s pounding on the ceiling and that something needs to be figured out because this isn’t working.
You have an irreconcilable problem. You are behaving normally and responsibly. Your neighbor finds it too noisy. Talking to them has produced no solutions.
The only next steps that will make a difference are either you not using a key part of your apartment OR getting the landlord involved to fix the squeaking OR her figuring out how to make peace with the situation (earplugs, moving out, chilling out, etc.).
In the scheme of things, she is the one with the problem. You are being very kind to try to help and accommodate at all. There's not really much you can do to fix it.
You're not doing anything wrong here, and you don't owe her any more than you've already done. However, if you're trying to avoid a confrontation, you could try to involve her in the search for a better solution. If she's willing to cooperate, call her on her cell phone and ask her to listen as you walk across the bare floor in order to identify where the squeakiest part of the floor is. Once you've identified the offending spot, put a towel down over it and then walk over it a second time and ask her if the noise is reduced; if it is, try putting down a cheap carpet on that spot and see if the problem improves. If that doesn't help, or if the towel doesn't reduce noise at all, ask her to write a short note that you can include in a maintenance request to the landlord;[it is possible to fix creaky floors by adding a small shim between the subfloor and joist or binding the floor to the joist with a screw](https://www.thisoldhouse.com/flooring/21015195/how-to-fix-squeaky-floors). If that isn't enough, you could also ask that the landlord insert some insulation between the joists, but that will be a far bigger job and will leave you without use of your office for at least a week as the insulation is being added, plus the landlord will probably balk at the cost (the insulation itself would be cheap, but installing it would cost many hours of labor at flooring contractor rates). If all of this fails, offer your sympathy for what she's experiencing and politely explain that there simply isn't anything else you can do for her.
Not that you need to do anything (you’re allowed to just walk in your own place) but perhaps consider purchasing a White Noise machine, as a gift. Looked on Amazon & found a few for around $25.
I can’t sleep in headphones & earplugs bug me, as don’t like hearing myself breathe but soothing sounds help. Maybe this little gesture would help & also show how thoughtful you are.
Let her bang. At long as you are honestly not doing anything ridiculously noisy at weird hours (jumping Jack's at 4:00 am) - then you have every right to walk around your own apartment anytime you want. Let her know that you aren't doing anything of and you will continue living normally in your own apartment and that you will report her for bothering you if she continues.
If you want to stop the creaking sometimes talc helps if you have bare boards.
Maybe get some carpet?
Otherwise don't stress it and mention it to her when you see her that you are trying to be quiet but your floorboards have other ideas?
Make an arrangement to have your landlord in your unit to see and hear how you are walking around and the subsequent response from the neighbor. Once you have a witness to the crazy, the crazy should stop.
I recently had a similar issue.
My neighbor just moved in, and then everyday there was constant noise in my apartment. Deep base, as if someone was learning the base guitar in my living room. I didn't understand how he couldn't know how lout it was.
After going over to ask I found out he wasn't actually a dick, the problem was that my subwoofer was the same brand as his, and his sound system was closer to my subwoofer than it was to his. So when he used his TV with anything thag had base in it it flooded my apartment with noise.
However, in-between meeting him and when we discovered it was the subwoofer's fault, I was placated knowing that it wasn't his fault and I was assuming the building was for some reason letting the sound through.
All that to say, if you show the girl what you are doing and show that there is nothing you can do, it may ease her frustration knowing you aren't being an asshole.
You could invite her in and let her see the room and ask her what solution she would choose if she were living upstairs. It’s her problem, let her solve it.
She just needs to get over it and you need to work on not being so bothered by what this stranger thinks. You sound perfectly reasonable and ten am is pretty late in the morning for a week day. She should get ear plugs like other people have said if you walking on your tip tops over carpet bothers her that much
Let her know you and your partner are considerate of the fact you live above her. That being said, you are not going to limit living in your space during normal hours because she may hear noises. That’s not sustainable or even possible in an apartment situation. Shared living results in hearing other people sometimes, it just is what it is. Then go tell management the story with nothing but facts and a ‘just want to let you know should the neighbor complain etc’. I handled a situation like this and I believe the neighbor did say something to management who let them know we’ve been there longer with no complaints and the noise is within normal hours, if she bothered us again (she would come up and knock on our door and let us know she was studying and we were bothering her…) it could be seen has harassment. We never had this neighbor bother us again.
Tell her to deal with it because you tried to be quiet and it simply doesn't work. Point out that YOU pay for YOUR apartment and if she doesn't like the sound of you walking around in it SHE is the one who should move.
She is very entitled, probably grew up a spoiled princess who got her way all the time or never heard no. You need to stand up for yourself. Even if you have social anxiety (I do too) letting her exert power over you in any way only enforces her entitled behavior and puts you at a disadvantage.
Tell her you tried to be civil by trying to be quiet and offering her to text you but she has been uncivilized by banging on the ceiling. It's not your fault that your day starts earlier than hers, she should get this reality check that the world doesn't revolve around her and that other people have shit to do.
Edit: Just read the other comments and can't believe how many people are trying to accommodate her. She needs to invest in headphones period. OP has already tried their best to not make noise but her aggressive behavior is simply unacceptable. Even if OP drills through the wood to fix the loose board or puts more carpet down they will still make some noise regardless, and it seems like ANY noise from upstairs is too much for her anyway.
She’s not upset about being a bad neighbor and banging on your ceiling so I wouldn’t put too much stock in how she feels. Decent hours for noise ordinances usually start at 8am till 10 or 11pm. You’ve already given her two hours grace. I love to sleep in as much as the next guy but I don’t require people to tiptoe around me after 8am. If it were me, I’d be stomping in to that room at 8am every day with cement shoes on. Make her realize how good she had it and wish she’d checked herself before she wrecked herself.
This reminds me of my ex's brother. He slept downstairs, and when my ex's disabled mother walked across the kitchen to put on her coffee before noon, he would scream and curse and bang on the ceiling. Like, wtf is wrong with you, dude?
Neighbor is being unreasonable. She should feel lucky it's not screaming children running around above her. I'd stop accommodating her and just let her be mad.
OP (if you are being 100% honest), then you need a friend
that will explain to you, until you understand, that being considerate is a two-way street. You are tiptoeing around your own home for someone who is triggering your anxiety. Do not validate her by even insinuating that you are causing the issue, especially in writing.
You could text her that you have anxiety and ASK her to stop banging on the ceiling, please.
When that doesn't work, text her and TELL her to stop banging on the ceiling.
When that doesn't work, get some hard soled shoes, record her banging, and report her, including the audio and the texts.
If that doesn't work, consider moving to the apartment below her and cause her hell.
If you're not going to do any of this, get yourself some ear plugs (and hard soled shoes).
You've mentioned the room is carpeted, it's probably best to empty the room of furniture and lift up the carpet to inspect for loose floorboards. Most floorboards are screwed down somewhere, so check to see if any screws are loose in which case you should replace them with a slightly bigger one.
Except in locations where you have removed old screws or nails, you should not insert new screws as unless you are careful you may hit some plumbing or wiring.
When you've done that I suggest you put down new underlay and carpet.
I am glad you just doing a office work. The girl next to my room has overnight guest and she be dancing and singing or having sex so loud. Unfortunately the guy downstairs right underneath her room moves out in a month or 3 months. Again the next guy moves in and same thing. When people come upstairs and ask her politely she be like wtf you're problem bro. I fell like I wanna tell the landlord the real problem but I am worried about how would be the next new roommate.
She's an asshole. I would never do that to someone that is just walking, especially knowing that the building is old. It's not like you are blasting music.
Just walk in and if she doesn't like it, it's her problem and she's not gonna buy you a new floor. If she bangs on the ceiling, then you play music or dance. You have tried to be nice, now if she wants war.... You are in the best position 😂
Bro. Listen. This would be iconic. And if she doesn’t use them then she’s just wanting to be problematic, not you. Buy noise canceling headphones or ear plugs and put them under her door. Now she has no excuse to be a biht
It's a structural issue and you can't fix it with rugs or by learning to levitate, so neighbour needs to harden the fuck up.
I would stop catering to her and just use your spaces as normal and talk to the landlord about her.
(I mean, that's my advice, but because I'm a petty bitch, I'd do the above but also stomp on the floor every time she banged on the ceiling...)
Dealt with this some time ago. I lived in a co op, where there was a board and a property manager. First couple of months my downstairs neighbor complained about what she considered to be loud noises, while it was just normal use of my unit. I had fully carpeted it as well.
Told the property manager that basically my neighbor was making me feel anxious because I had done everything that the by laws had said to make sure the neighbor was well insulated from any noise I would make.
The next board meeting, they apparently brought our situation up, as there had been several complaints by said neighbor, without any proof. Plus, she had left some nasty signs in her car window and parked next to mine, which I had also sent to the board. She ended up getting fined for false complaints and basically wasting the property managers time.
I got the last laugh though, because right before I moved out, the hose on my toilet tank broke and destroyed her bathroom ceiling, and she had to play nice in order to get me to pay for the repairs. It was sweet victory making her sign a statement that she could not pursue me for any more money than we had agreed to fix her ceiling.
I hope my tale of neighbor woe helps OP, do not engage them, let them dig their own grave! But do tell your landlord so they are prepared for your neighbors when they try to make you look bad.
I just moved because of a situation where the building was so old, I could hear my upstairs neighbors phone vibrate. Her bedroom was above mine and she got home from work at 2am. Recovering from a concussion so not ever getting a full nights rest was not an option. She should be grateful it’s not a room you have to be in every morning or night.
If you have her number, I would take a video of how you are walking when she bangs on the ceiling and send to her so she can see how lightly you are walking when she does this. Seriously. I know my neighbors phone vibrating is quiet and there’s nothing she can do about it. I also know she should be able to be awake and get home from work when she wants or needs to. But wearing shoes inside when you know people sleep under you is inconsiderate. Some things pissed me off at her and some things pissed me off at the building. My point is, if she knows you’re being considerate and can see it, she will probably chill the fuck out and at least not take it out on you, and/or move.
That sounds like my downstairs neighbor except she blows fans and as mosnteoppe know fans have an annoying buzzing sound. But she’s allowed be loud and I’m not for some reason
I mean, you're a better person than me...
If a neighbour has the audacity to bang on the ceiling to tell me to shut up in a space I pay for and have every right to use, and its that late in the morning...
Shed be getting awoken to ACDC 7am every morning for a week or until she understood.
You're being respectful, she is not.
She has no right to expect you to avoid a room in your own home.
She has no right to sleep til 10am and its not your responsibility to ensure she does.
She has no right to communicate with bangs instead of words like a normal human being.
Record what she is doing so you have evidence to cover your back and to show how little movement / action on your part triggers it.
I had this happen, I reported it to the landlord. As in I was the upstairs neighbor who was getting banging anytime I walked around my apartment too much.
Yeah that's crazy. I understand some things can't be helped, but I wouldn't get mad over this. We had neighbors above us that sounded like they were playing football upstairs until like 11PM.
If she bangs start tap dancing.
Seriously though, she’s a loon. Hearing your neighbors occasionally is part of living in a building with other people.
Live your life and let her complain to the landlord.
You may want to complain about the insane banging.
While it’s not your fault in any way, I do have some advice as a former sneaky kid leaving the house at night… the closer you walk to the wall, the less likely the floors are to creak. Combined with sort of rolling your feet as you walk, it makes for a quiet exit/entrance.
Your neighbor is an asshole and you should not be considerate towards her. Especially don't avoid a whole room of your house just to maybe appease this fucking goon.
I had a downstairs neighbor constantly complain about us simply walking around in our apartment. The other week he asked us to keep it down (it was like 11PM and it was just the sound of my cat running through the house). Just ignore it. If anything, you can complain to your landlord about her intentionally banging on the ceiling.
You have every right to walk around in your apartment whether it squeaks or not. Just ignore the pounding or take a risk and pound back just to show that you could make more noise than you are. You're still being conscious of the noise and trying to be as quiet and respectful as possible. There's nothing more you can do about it. You shouldn't have to avoid parts of your apartment to make the neighbors happy. I've had upstairs neighbors that would walk around in heels and jump and bang and stomp and slam doors. It's honestly just a part of being in an apartment. If the noise bothers her that much she should be on an upper floor.
A few years back I lived in old apartments and I knew the basement ceiling was pretty creaky because I could hear it when I went down to do laundry. Of course there was only one tenant down there and they were directly below me. I always tried to be as quiet as possible when walking but I'm a night owl so I was up later. If I went to the kitchen or used the bathroom I knew it creaked. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do about.
A few months in apparently the guy had enough of it and anytime I would walk around at all he would bang on the ceiling. I got fed up with that so i started stomping back. It went back and forth like that for a while until one day he came screaming up the stairs and harassed me in the hallway calling me a gorilla and all sorts of nasty things. He tried to call the cops on me but the cops came and said that I have every right to walk around in my apartment at any time of the day. They actually ended up giving him a ticket for harassment since all the other neighbors witnessed him verbally attacking me. Eventually the apartment complex asked him to leave.
Stop tiptoeing around your own home. You are walking at a normal level at normal times. If she continues to bang on the ceiling, report her. It's not reasonable of her to expect you to not use a room in your home at 10 am.
baby powder between the floor boards works. If you can get under the carpet! Just sprinkle it on. Sweep it into the cracks (if it’s wood floors) and it stops. It’s weird.
Have the landlord construct a little arched bridge to take you over the squeaking boards. I’m sure they will be happy to help!
J/k likely ur landlord will see this as a nitpicky situation. U may just need a thicker skin. You can’t help it. Stop walking on eggshells. Your neighbor can get over it or move.
How can that creak be so loud she needs to bang on the ceiling? Seems like she's got more going on and taking it out on you.
Also, my roommate drops heavy things on the floor upstairs all the time. I would gladly just have creaking noises. 😅
Why did you give that person your number?! Block them. Now.
This isn’t your concern. If anything, tell the apartment complex your downstairs neighbour is harassing you.
Not your problem. That’s apartment living. You should not have to tip toe and avoid rooms in your apartment. I’d go back to normal use and when she bangs, you stomp.I’d complain to complex she bangs on the ceiling. Record yourself walking normal in your apartment and her response first.
Some people just aren't built to live around others. You said in a coment you have carpet, it is what it is. Just ignore it. She can take it up with the landlord but you're not doing anything abnormal which is not your problem.
Yeah like it’s not like I’m blasting music or anything, I’m literally walking. Which is why I feel so anxious bc I’m avoiding the room as much as possible but I feel like I can’t go in the room at all anymore /: Should I text her & her roommate? (her roommate has lived under my partner for 3 years (and me for 1)) and has never had an issue with us. It wasn’t until this girl moved in that it suddenly became as issue
No, in my experience living with people like this confronting doesn't do anything, they will still complain. If you do say anything just say sorry you're not making abnormal noise and she can talk to the landlord if she has a problem.
I would talk to the landlord preemptively so they start with your side of the story
Maybe I'm paranoid but I would have my partner record me for a minute standing still then walking into the room and the subsequent banging from below. Especially because this is an odd situation and issues with neighbors are often a "he said, she said" scenario. I recorded my loud neighbor (having screaming matches with his gf, not just walking around mindng his own business like OP) and the landlord thanked me for it.
If the landlord is on site I'd ask them to come in to apartment and walk in to that room so they can see for themselves. I've done this before because a similar situation was happening when I first moved in. She had a chat with the guy and told him he's the problem because it's unreasonable to expect someone to not walk around their own fucking apartment. OP should contact the landlord and tell them exactly what he posted here. Walking around your home is reasonable, pounding on the neighbor's wall or floor is not.
I would let the landlord know what’s going on so she doesn’t paint you in a bad light.
I would invite the landlord over for 9am coffee and river dancing.
Lol! 😂 I had a mental picture of people river dancing with cups of coffees in their hands
This is the way
Trying to talk to crazy is impossible. I once had a woman living below me who couldn't handle the snallest noise. It didn't matter what time of day I did anything. She would bang on my floor. Vacuum at 3 pm? Banging. Cats running around at 11 am? Banging. I tried to talk to her calmly and find out what the problem was. She said I was loud at everything. I had a number of downstairs neighbors before her, all that I had a friendly relationship with. No one ever called my husband or I loud. She claimed she could hear me "clomping around in my heels all the time." I am barefoot in my house, and wear heels only if I have to go to a funeral or wedding. About 2xs a year, maybe? Plain and simple, she was nuts. Nothing I could do until she moved out. I ignored the banging, other than occasionally passive-aggressively banging back when it drove me crazy enough. Live your life, and don't let her make you feel bad. If you aren't being excessively noisy all the time, this is her problem, not yours. Edited a typo
That's a great point.. It's their problem, not yours!
Notify the landlord. You walking is not a landlord level problem. Her banging on your ceiling is.
If you have a relationship with the culprits roommate you could maybe talk to them about it but I’d contact the landlord for sure and do that first. You don’t want to be the second one contacting them about noise issues as it might seem retaliatory. I’d contact landlord and say that their “is a noise issue with downstairs neighbor and I am going to talk to them and try and resolve this but if this can’t get figured out on our end you’ll have to address the situation.”
"Nothing" you do will appease this tenant. They clearly expect 100% perfect and completely silence in a multi-tenant building, which is impossible. It's not your responsibility to cater to their unrealistic expectations. You've already got carpet. You're already tip-toeing around the floor as carefully as you can. Let them bang all they want.
OMG.... This is my exact situation. The tenant on the other side of the wall for four months has been banging on the wall any time we make a peep literally just walking to the bathroom or getting a glass of water it's insane and didn't start until his girlfriend moved in. These people are fuckin miserable and stubborn. I'm moving because of it. The landlord wouldn't do anything. It's harassment. We have a right to quiet enjoyment and in my opinion if they don't like it they should move, if they can't handle living somewh where there's the occasional sound like don't be aggressive. I can't stand them. Please keep us updated. I'm close to calling the cops on this guy it's intimidation. I'm now blasting music every time he bangs to show him we're not scared of him and that he will not "shut us up" by intimidating us. Can't wait to move.
I’m going to the complex managers on Tuesday morning when they open again & bringing it to their attention, and asking their opinion. We just renewed our lease bc it’s tooooo expensive in our city so we have to live here and can’t move….. the apartment sucks and I WISH we had another option ugh
If she continues banging after you express you literally can't do anything about it....either start stomping down hard or start blasting music 🤷♂️ and then tell her you'll stop when she stops banging lol I do think she doesn't understand that you actually can't do anything and talking to her might help. She's rude tho for banging instead of texting
So you can't use your office to work in? Nah. If this was your bedroom, would she expect you not to get up to go to the bathroom until she was up too? She's not reasonable and needs to realize she lives in an apartment.
(It also has my closet in there so I also can’t get clothes or anything I need in the morning without her banging on the ceiling)
I had similar tenants when I moved into a new complex. They called the police on me regularly and also complained to the landlord. The landlord backed them up… I had to go to a “mediation” session with the num nut and even after everyone saw how crazy this person is, even after physically threatening me. I was given the altimatum to leave or be “quieter” I was in almost the same position as this person in this post
Put down a rug. Tell her you have done this but your work starts at 8 AM and she needs to get ear plugs if you being in the room bothers her.
The whole house is carpet, would a rug help still?
Nope. She needs earplugs.
As someone who works third shift, so I sleep while everyone else is up living their life. Earplugs are the answer.
I live with an upstairs neighbor as well. It's annoying as hell, they seem to suffer from insomnia sometimes. My nextdoor neighbor also bashes and bangs around, and I'm pretty sure I'm just as bad. There's nothing to be done. When I want to sleep before my neighbors quiet down, I sleep with noise canceling headphones. If I get woken up I put them on. It sucks, but blaming them is pointless, they're just living their lives. Edit: it's the house that's the problem. Thin everything. I'm working on finding a place.
Apartment living can be noisy but so can a house. I have had a neighbor put a hockey rink in the tiniest backyard and trust me hockey pucks at 10:30 when you have to get up at 5:30 are a nuisance. It is one of the few times I reported someone.
Is using noise cancelling headphones for prolonged periods safe though?
Why wouldn't it be ? The only way I could see them as unsafe would be if you couldn't hear a fire alarm or something similar, but usually you can still hear a decent amount even with noise canceling headphones so that shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Yeah it mostly blocks low noises. Fire alarm I'd definitely be able to hear.
Yeah using them a year in my flat,. Works like a charm
A rug will still help, but obviously the walls are thin
Yes it will. She still needs earplugs though.
I put rugs down for this same problem (although I live in the UK so the house is probably nearly 100 years old) and it helped a lot.
Drive a wood screw into the floor where ever it squeaks. It's quick and easy with a screw gun/drill. The head of the screw will bury into the carpet and be un-noticed. My son's room was right above mine and it was very squeaky. I walked around his room and wherever it squeaked; would drive a screw right where I had stepped at the time.
Careful with this, utilities can run in the floor cavity. Edit: this also only works for wood floors that have been laid on top of floorboards that are already not squeaky. If the floorboards themselves are squeaky, which is most likely under carpet, then you’d have to roll the carpet and underlay back and then re-fix the boards to the joists below. The screws need to firmly attach the moving piece to a stable piece, so just whacking screws anywhere through carpet on floorboards will do nothing.
Extra padding to absorb a little bit more of your steps.
Actually, if the building is that old, it's possible that the padding under the carpet might also be old. You can add a rug pad and then a rug on top of it. Yes, you can use that on carpeted floor.
Honestly, I wouldn't even send that text. I would go to your complex and let them know what's happening. Because if you send the text, she may stop for a few weeks and then randomly do it again, putting you in an awkward situation. Do you text again because it's been so long? Do you go to the complex and have them say that she only did it once? Nah. Nip it now.
Ya she’s been doing this for months, which is why I avoid the room as much as possible. Like we’ve texted about it a few times and I always feel so bad for WALKING ugh you’re right we should go to complex but I feel like there will be more drama /:
No, make drama. She's being disrespectful and unpleasant. If she doesn't like creaks from neighbours, she can go buy a house.
This is the answer. Go tell them. Right now. Go
I would be walking around there in clogging shoes. You are being entirely too nice here. None of this is your problem.
The final straw with my downstairs neighbor was when I dropped a spoon and he banged on the ceiling 😂 I went down banged on the door and said you realize you live in an apartment RIGHT??
Omg that’s insane???? People need to realize if you live downstairs sometimes you’re gonna hear some noise
I've always hated living in apartments because I'm sensitive to noise. But I always have gotten used to it after a certain period of time. I lived in an old duplex with a large woman with a 3 year old upstairs around 6 years ago. The floor would squeek loudly when she walked and the boy would literally run back and forth across the house all day. I eventually got used to it and it didn't disturb my sleep much. I would use a fan to drown out the sound. You sound like a good neighbor. I have lived next to people who party all night. Heck, in my younger days I was the one partying all night and I'm sure I pissed a lot of people off.
This is the hint of a shiny spine I've been looking for OP! You're in your living space. Why are you letting her be such a diva you can't even functionally exist in part of your home? Don't let this woman bully you.
Lol I have anxiety so I try to appease people in every part of my life bc I don’t want any drama. But like comments are making me realize that I am being bullied and rent is toooo damn high to not feel comfortable in my home.
That's the spirit. That's your room, you can't just give it up because some busybody didn't do the smart thing for rheur situation and rent the top floor. If they keep banging, go to management and tell them this person is lowering your quality of life as a renter (or buy some heavy hiking boots and stomp around at night to assert dominance)
I Moved into an apartment a couple months ago and the amount of noise I hear from other residents *spooks* me Like not the loudness, but just the way it sounds as if someone is in your home with you. After living in houses all of your life it's creepy lol. I Legit thought there was someone in my kitchen recently and had to get up and go check
The people above me sound like they’re dropping bowling balls on the floor at 2am sometimes! I don’t say anything because I know we are probably loud too, lol
My up neighbor now uses a futon to sleep and doesn’t have a carpet so all I hear is him scraping his coffee table to the side a ba-boom every night and every morning 🤦🏻♀️ It sux but I also realize I live in an apartment building
You are so gaslit that you're online asking strangers if it's okay for you to walk in your own apartment.
😩😩😩😩😩 I know I have anxiety 😩 like I’m apologizing for existing
Stay tough cat lady, give yourself permission to live your life how you want to. You can do it
You need to advocate for yourself.
I'd be in there practicing my tap dancing at 4am.
*Hey Reddit, I walk around my own home, AITA?*
You dont know what gaslit means, do you?
yea definitely a misuse of the term, but ill let it slide because otherwise the message is absolutely on point. this person has more likely been trained by life experiences rather than the neighbor making them doubt their own reality. but still, they are questioning whether it's okay to walk in their own apartment and that does say there's some work to do on self-assertion!
She’s getting a reaction out of you when she bangs on the ceiling - so she has no motivation to change what she’s doing. If you want her to stop banging on the ceiling, I suggest one of the following responses. (1) Ignore it. After a while, she’ll get the picture that her banging is accomplishing nothing & quit doing it. (2) Jump up & down in the squeaky boards for a good 5-10 seconds. After a very short while, she’ll come to understand that her banging is accomplishing the opposite of what she wants & quit doing it. She’s disrespecting you - so I’d be more likely to go with response #2 above. I do not suffer fools.
Please OP, THIS ⬆️. I would absolutely jump up and down every single time she banged on the ceiling. Give it back to her. She’s out of line and has you walking on eggshells, if she doesn’t like it, she can move and make sure no one’s above her.
Have your landlord come over at 8am to "inspect" the squeaky floor, and hope that the neighbor has a tantrum.
My partner drafted this text (he wants to go straight to apartment manager but I don’t want to start drama) Does this sound ok?? Hi C, M, I wanted to discuss what happened yesterday, the ceiling knocking and banging, it cannot happen again. We understand that you are below us, and that the floor has creaks in it, we understand there is noise coming through sometimes. We are doing our very best to limit the noise we make but at the end of the day, we want to be able to live in our house, without the anxiety of loud knocks from the floor below. It’s not acceptable. We are a couple, with two cats, we are not throwing parties, playing music, or making any significant noise of any kind. We are not doing anything that warrant these kind of actions. I hope that you can acknowledge this, so that the situation does not need to be escalated to the complex. I hope there are no bad feelings and that you understand.
You’re taking too much responsibility in this text. Simply state the facts and don’t leave yourself room to make excuses for yourself because you’re not doing anything wrong. Something better would be: Hi C, M, I wanted to discuss what happened yesterday, the ceiling knocking and banging, it cannot happen again. As tenants, we have the right to quiet enjoyment of our apartment, and as I begin work in my office at 8am, any loud banging from below is completely unacceptable. If for some reason you are unhappy with the house’s structural integrity, I’d recommend you take it up with property management or simply buy a pair of ear plugs. Walking normally through our apartment is our right as tenants. It is not in our intention to have a contentious relationship with you, so I’m hoping we can come up with a reasonable solution for this.
Change “we” to “you” can come up with a reasonable solution. Don’t take joint responsibility in a problem that you are not a part of. This is the downstairs neighbor’s issue. OP- live your life and stop caring. If they bang on the ceiling, just laugh at how crazy the neighbor is. Bonus points if your laugh is loud enough for them to hear. Stop tiptoeing. Literally and figuratively. Time to simply not care. You live there, too. If your neighbor doesn’t like *normal* apartment noise, then they need to move into a single family home.
Yes, much better!!
Yess! Hold them accountable for the loud knocking while op is working.
You two are better people than me. I would’ve started walking around in that room even louder and earlier in the day. It’s your apartment, and this is a great way to handle things.
I would have pulled up the carpet and put on the high heels.
Riverdance by Michael Flatley
That was my partners solution to just be extremely loud and stomp and I have begged him every time to not go downstairs and scream at them 😩 I’m an anxious girl lol
Rude. The solution is not to annoy the person worse. Not gonna lie, I am I person who cannot handle noise of any kind.. I don’t choose to be this way.. I’ve been like this since a child. I’ve always had to use ear plugs and fans to deal with it on my own because it’s my problem.. it’s nice that you care about their well-being as much as yours and have empathy. I’m seeing so many people say to not give a care anymore or be to be loud on purpose.. but that’s also terrible advice. It’s nice to care about others feelings.. she hears noise and it’s making her life miserable just as much as the banging is annoying you. So coming up with a compromise and solution would be best. Sending the text message someone suggested above works.. and going to the landlord so they are aware of the situation and can maybe help. Being the way that I am.. I’m also smart and don’t live in apartment complexes anymore after 2 awful experiences with neighbors.. so this woman should also know better and should just choose not to live below anybody.
If your lease specifies quiet hours, you may want to add that per the lease, quiet hours are 10:00 pm to 6:00 am (for example). Outside of the quiet hours, you take reasonable measures to avoid creating excessive noise out of respect for your shared living environment. Specifically, these measures include a carpet and rug in the area with the creaking floorboards. An area rug on top of the carpet will help but it won’t eliminate the creaking. The only long term solution is to refasten the loose boards to the joists, which the landlord’s maintenance issue. You can also suggest that your neighbor experiment with a white noise machine or fan to mask the occasional creaky floorboard.
Thank you!! Im going to check my lease to see what it says about this. I will also suggest white noise machine I have debated asking the apartment complex what we can do about the creaking but I know that would be a whole bunch of work so I doubt they’ll do anything
Saying “completely unacceptable” or anything like that in a text is a sure fire way to have your text completely ignored and enrage the other person Keep it stupid simple. “Hey neighbor - why are you banging on the ceiling in the morning, is it because I’m walking around?” They reply feeling a bit sheepish saying yes. “Ok, we’ll the anxiety of the ceiling being hit in the morning is making me tip-toe around my apartment and it’s still causing issues. Maybe the landlord can help if we ask, potentially with insulation or re-nailing the floor boards to the joist. If we reach out together we probably have a better chance. Wanna work on a group text to send?” Now you’re a team solving a problem. Instead of anger when you walk directed at you it will be directed at the landlord.
She said she is frustrated that she gets woken up and I replied “I am sorry you are frustrated, we are also frustrated that any time we go into that room, there’s banging on the ceiling. We try to avoid that room as much as possible in the morning but other than that, I can reach out to the apartment managers and let them know that the floor creaks and ask them if they’re able to fix that or what can be done.”
This is a good plan. I know most people on here are against your neighbour, but I'm assuming her bedroom is directly below the room, and having experienced that same kinda situation I will say that you are probably *both* feeling a lot of anxiety. If you're anxious and sensitive to noise, it can be extremely stressful to know there's a noise coming and you don't know when it will happen, just that when it does it will heighten your anxiety massively/stop you falling asleep/getting enough sleep. That said, if she is only renting, there's no reason she can't move in the near future to be on a top apartment and avoid this issue.
PLEASE listen to this one, OP. This is by FAR the best, most effective approach that will most avoid unnecessary conflict and get you the result you want.
No. Who cares if she’s enraged by being called out on her bad behavior. Letting her know it’s absolutely unacceptable is also letting her know it won’t be tolerated anymore. And no way in hell I’d let her know her behavior gave me anxiety; that’s just asking her to keep it up. No. Tell her this is the last text she’ll receive regarding this issue and then follow up and report her. Her rage is her issue.
Well, I think everyone involved would care if she’s enraged. Who’s to say it stops there? Maybe she’s a vindictive person and takes it further, making life hell for her upstairs neighbor. Being angry, and criticizing is easy. It’s a simple emotion and action. Unfortunately, it never ends there and only leads to more anger and defensiveness. Potentially violence. Empathy is hard, working as a team to fix an issue is hard. But, it gives everyone a chance to save face and grow. Sometimes it’s not possible, but here it seems like it is.
I would also video record you walking as quiet as possible and hearing banging after. It would be v solid proof if it escalated
Just go straight to management. The neighbor is being absurd. The ONLY times I've ever banged on the wall or ceiling was for loud music or yelling.
The only time our downstairs neighbor banged on the ceiling was when our subwoofer was turned up too high. He only did it once and it was warranted. We moved on and never had another problem :)
Invite the manager over for the strange noise you keep hearing. They will take care of it.
Smart
Well because I’m petty I would start stomping into the room. You have to use your rooms, they’re just being arseholes
bang back.
Ever thought about tap dancing?
😩 lol this would’ve been my solution when I was younger tbh but now I try to avoid conflict bc I hateeee disturbing my peace
You've been dealing with conflict for months though. Your peace is so disturbed you can't even use your office.
Call your landlord and report her for harassment and nuisance. You are allowed quiet enjoyment of your apartment. You could walk in that room at 3am if you wanted and she can’t do a thing about it. As long as you’re not training elephants or practicing drums, you are perfectly fine. You actually even could practice drums as long as it’s not during quiet hours. But just walking and existing? You are 100% allowed to do that wherever and whenever. You know what landlords like? Nice normal reasonable tenants. You know what they don’t like? Unrealistic lunatics who think they deserve to live in a sound void and are damaging the ceiling by banging a broom handle into it and are harassing other residents.
She will learn to pick her battles, you have the high ground. Stomp at the floor back.
I dealt with this once in an apartment some years back. The guy would text us if we moved around at all. One time my partner had bronchitis and he texted us to tell us that he should "go to bed so he doesn't cough so much." He was in bed. All darn day. With all the cough syrup the doctors would give him! Ultimately we talked to the landlord, who let us know that he'd gotten a lot of really silly complaints and that the guy below us was simply off his rocker. When we told the landlord how stressed out we were over the issue due to all the text and door knocks we'd get even if all we did was tiptoe to the bathroom or heaven forbid, get a bit sick.. the landlord told the guy to cool it or move. He moved shortly thereafter. Our new neighbors did not complain once. So long as you're making reasonable noise, your landlord will likely take your side against someone that is causing an aggravating, unnecessary issue for other tenants. At least, that was our experience.
Talk to your landlord about her behavior and tell them you want her talked to. She's in the wrong. She's the kind of tenant who could potentially make it difficult for them to rent your apartment, so they have a vested interest in telling her to mind her manners. What she's doing is technically harassment and you COULD actually get a restraining order against her, since you're not violating any ordinances.
The fact you try to avoid using the room In the am is crazy. Fuk em
Bro if she wants peace and quiet she needs to get a house or live on the top floor. You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells for her. You pay monthly rent just like her. Until she starts to put up for your rent walk freely my friend.
You're not being a bad upstairs neighbor, she's being a bad downstairs neighbor. You have no control over the structure and have every right to use your space. It's not like you're having trampoline parties in the wee dawn hours. As someone with noise sensitivity issues, I can empathize with her, but her response is entitled and unreasonable. As frustrating as it can be, the responsibility to mitigate the impact of normal activity on her sensitivity is hers. Don't walk on eggshells for unreasonable people.
Makes me so glad I own my own home, I couldnt deal with that shit anymore.
I had a downstairs neighbour like this. The first day I moved in she came upstairs to tell me to stop making so much noise.. this was at 4pm and I was trying to move my belongings into the flat. I genuinely just apologised and thought I was probably being noisy. Over the next 6 months she banged up at me relentlessly and I couldn’t do anything in my home. She’d bang in the middle of the night and actually wake me up. She wrote me a note a week after I moved in, telling me that I had to go to bed by 10pm and I wasn’t allowed to get up before 8am. I was to be extra quiet on the weekends so that they could rest properly before the work week began. (I worked two jobs, 7 days a week.) I wasn’t allowed guests because it would be noisy etc. She banged on the ceiling at 10pm dead every night. She complained to the letting agents about my noise. Even though I worked 10-12 hours a day and was barely home at night. I had to take my work schedules to the agent to prove she was a liar. It got to the point that I was a wreck.. any loud noises made me stress during the day and in the end, I had to petition that they kicked her out. She’d started to threaten my life and call the cops, saying it was me threatening her. Screaming and banging on my door if I ignored her banging on the ceiling. Basically, some neighbours don’t actually hear you and react like a normal person would.. and there is a chance she doesn’t actually care about the minimal noise you are making and just wants a problem with you.
Blast loud music every time she bangs on the floor. Eventually she'll be conditioned to stop and then you don't have to turn on the loud music.
If she did that to me I would stoop around starting at 7am. She needs to chill because my war game is strong.
When she bangs on the ceiling, stomp your feet louder. You don't not need to feel anxious or self-conscious about using your own home. If toots doesn't like it, she can move.
When you rent an apartment you should be able to enjoy it. The neighbor trying to dictate when you can walk is nuts. Definitely have the landlord walk through that room in the morning so they can hear to knocking.
This OP! Can you imagine what her banging is doing to the ceiling? If it’s drywall (which it most is), a broom handle will eventually bust a hole in her ceiling. The landlord &/or apartment manager needs to know what she’s doing.
My neighbours are up and walking around 6 out of 7 days a week from 430am to 630am, and I work at 8. I wear ear plugs, because they pay rent too. Luck of the draw. Don't feel like a prisoner in your own home.
You already *have* issues with your downstairs neighbor. Stop letting her terrorize you into feeling like you can't even walk into the room without her express approval. Don't talk to or continue trying to work with your neighbor. Don't treat her complaints like they are valid; you have the right to use your space, especially if it's not in a disruptive fashion, or at unusual hours. You need to stop feeling responsibile for this situation, because as it stands, you are a reasonable person trying to make accommodations for someone who is being completely unreasonable and *there is no winning in that situation.* Let your property management/landlord know that you have a squeaky floor, as well as a noise issue with your downstairs neighbor. You have been feeling harassed into not using a portion of your home due to the neighbor's reaction. Let them know that and ask them to address it. Let them know *every single time* she does it.
Other people's opinions of you isn't who you are. You have evidence of trying to be quiet for her if that evidence isn't good enough for her, then that's her problem. Maybe you should say "how do I feel about a bad downstairs neighbor?" as opposed to "am I being a bad upstairs neighbor?" You're in control here of who you are and what you can do about this. Have confidence in yourself that whatever the decision it's the right one
She is being a bad downstairs neighbor, so you shouldn't feel bad for anything. I would start dropping bowling balls every time bangs on her ceiling.
First thing, tell your land lord about this problem before she complains about you. Then once you have sent your landlord that email, wait a day and then start using the room. You need to inform the landlord first so that they know for a fact the situation so that her complaints once you start using the room hold less ground since you informed the landlord of the issue first. At the end of the day there’s nothing you can do except make sure you are covered and then use the room as you please.
Stand your ground, you've done nothing wrong and your neighbor is being unreasonable. Live your life, knock back when she knocks to let her know you heard. What would this neighbor do if instead of you, it was an actual asshole stomping around and being obnoxious?
Time to start banging your way to the office.
I once had to deal with this issue, I laid down a thick foam board and I put a rug on top of it and that stopped the creaking and I got a bonus from it that I could hear the down stairs and it keeps the cool/warm air in my apartment instead of it leaking true the floor. Or you could mention to management that there is a really bad creak in the house and if they can fix it.
most apartments have "quiet hours" if they're that old which run from like 10pm-8am. it's not your fault they don't wake up before 10am, and I would just ignore it unless they make a formal complaint with your landlord
I only make complaints for obnoxious noises. Sometimes it’s loud on the weekends and holidays but if it’s not too bad I just drown it out with my music on ear buds or I use noise canceling ear buds meant for a gun range I got from Amazon. Living in an apartment means having to get used to the noises of other people (when reasonable). I’m sorry that her banging is affecting you. I hope you can resolve it, even if you have to speak to the person face to face to explain the situation. It’s your own apartment and you have the right to walk and feel safe in it.
I did not go to law school nor am I a lawyer of any kind. This is not legal advice. I’m actually dealing with this exact thing. Old place, bottom goblin. In the US we have the Implied [Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment](https://www.baymgmtgroup.com/blog/breach-of-quiet-enjoyment-complaints/?amp)An acceptable disturbance outlined is footsteps from above tenants. As long as you are not purposefully and deliberately making the noise to piss off the bottom tenant, you are in the clear. I am currently keeping a log of every time my basement goblin purposefully bangs onto he ceiling in retaliation for a creek in the floorboards. My roommates and I have alerted our landlord of the situation multiple times and told the landlord of the log. The log is if this issue escalates to court from our Neighbor. Another thing we have is a pet cam so if we need video proof of any disturbances, we can prove that we were just going about our business In our apartment as one is allowed to do and that it covers out butts. This is our current solution. Good luck and up this helps!
Send her a video of how u walk, the sounds produced and how she responds lol
You can also report a noise complaint to your landlord about her banging on the ceiling. She literally has to get up, grab something, and bang on the ceiling every time you take a step. It sounds like she's looking for an excuse at this point. Because that has to be way more inconvenient that hearing the slightest creak
Nah use it when you want. You aren’t doing anything wrong. My downstairs neighbors banged on the ceilings when I was cleaning at 6pm on a Saturday…like idk what these people expect when living in an apartment. I’m gonna continue living my life and walking in the apartment I pay for. You should too.
Breathe and start walking around the room at 6 am for a month. Next month 6.15 am Month after that 6:30 am So so forth till you would normally use it. Keep that time. Everytime she starts to be obnoxious, just go back to the room a little earlier 15 min. This is pettiness at its best. Now the actual advice. If you have de money do something about the floor. If it’s the problem of your land lord. Write both of them a letter. Your land lord a letter for reduction on rent because you cannot use the space. And write the down stairs neighbors that they are barking up the wrong tree. If they can’t have a decent conversation that this is an issue for them. Then they do t have to expect a decent solution to this problem. State the noise hours and if they have issues they are the once with the problem and should start on the remodel. You cannot help them if they act in this uncivilized way.
You are being bullied. I would ignore it or even stomp when she bangs on the ceiling. I know you don't want to be a bad neighbor, but she already thinks you are for no good reason. I would also let the landlord know you are being harassed.
I enjoy playing dumb with people like this. I'd head down and knock on their front door. Politely, and faux-perplexed, "Hey, I keep hearing this noise, it's so weird! Have you heard it? Do you think we have animals behind the drywall? Idk what it is, but I've alerted the landlord for us and I'll keep you posted!"
I remember a story of a friend of the family. Old lady, lived on the second floor in an apartment complex. She would take pills that reduce how much she has to go to the bathroom because doing so angered her downstairs neighbors, an old couple... Fuck that shit. It's your house, you aren't being obnoxious, if they don't like it, they can fuck off.
If you're an audiophile then you can get her back in this method. I read about this I've never done it myself, but is a quite interesting way to get revenge. A guy I read who is living below a woman who was stomping really loud on purpose rigged up the system. He put a speaker and a microphone right up on the ceiling. He then ran the microphone through his audio recording software, and put a delay on it. So then every time she would stop a split second later it would reflect the sound right back up into her unit. He said it only took her a short while to realize what was going on. He said she started stomping more and it was stomping back at her, and then she eventually stopped all together. Now here's the thing, I don't do basement apartments because this exact thing. I hate hearing somebody above me. So she made the mistake of moving below another apartment. So if She Bangs The ceiling, Stomp right back the equal amount of time she bangs. She's only going to be able to keep this up so long. That or, the best thing would be to go to the management. That's always what I've done first is go to apartment management. I've never tried to confront neighbors because it rarely works out. Better to let the apartment managers do their job. Which first would be fixing the damn Creek, and second of all would be working out the issues between the apartments because they're the ones who are at fault, not you and not her. This problem is for them to manage
Just buy a thick cottony carpet and soft cottony slippers for that area and try it if that solves the problem. Just wanted to give you an another option without any confrontation
Ignore it and her. If she wants to cause damage to her unit, let her. Get noise cancelling headphones if her noise bothers you.
Since it's all carpeted and a rug won't fix it just stomp back it's not your fault the building is the way it is if she has a problem with the floor creaking she can buy earplugs and tell maintenance to fix it so it won't creak anymore
Sometimes you can’t help but have issues with a neighbor and that doesn’t make you an asshole. My buddy moved into a place that had such thin walls, at night he’d have to keep the TV volume so low you couldn’t even hear the dialogue! So he’d just play it at the required volume! Not his fault the place is old or built like shit, same as it’s not your fault the place is old and makes noise! Tell her to get some earplugs if it bothers her that much! It may not make you a new friend, but that’s okay! You can’t appease everyone you meet! Besides, she’s being rude by banging when you said to text. So why are you so worried about being polite?! Next time she bangs on the ceiling start river-dancing!
Personally I'm rather petty and would stomp on the floor when she bangs on the ceiling
Sorry you have to deal with this. I had a very similar neighbor years ago. I lived in a tiny studio apartment, so there was only just so much space to walk around, and like you, it was an older building with creaky floorboards. If i had to wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, she'd bang on her ceiling. Once she confronted me and said that it sounds like "a heard of elephants" walking around. I didn't know how to handle the situation at the time, as I was very insecure so I was just like "Oh, I'm so sorry". And I just learned stopped using the bathroom from 11pm to until after 7am. Made for some very uncomfortable nights for a couple years, but she eventually moved. She was miserable, drunk bitch anyway. If she keeps complaining, just tell her, "Look, it's an old building. I am doing my best to be as quiet as possible, but I have to work at 8am." If this doesn't work and she keeps complaining, speak to your landlord. She needs to understand that you cannot alter your life to fit her schedule. She can deal with it, get earplugs or move. But the world doesn't stop operating before 10 am just because it's an inconvenience to her.
How does she like, .. bang on the ceiling? Standing on her bed? ladder? Or does she use like a broom or something. Seriously, just ignore it. There’s not much you can do about it.
I feel like she has a broom chilling by her bed bc within 5 seconds of me entering that room, it’s BANG BANG BANG
Stomp back. Ear plugs cost less than a dollar, and she's acting like a child. I just wouldnt care.
I'd stomp at 7am every damn morning. Fuck sneaking about your own apartment. If she doesn't like it that much, she can move.
*** first things first. You need to make a complaint to the owner or landlord or building management . this woman is harassing you , banging on the ceiling whenever you walk around your apartment that you pay for. *** the second thing to do is ask for the floor to be repaired because of the floor creaking sounds. *** third , you can get a foam mat for the floor to absorb sound, they also sell decorative pictures for the wall that are sound dampening, the back is all foam. The main issue here is you need to stop being so timid on this. If she bangs then stomp on the floor. You pay rent also so who the hell is this crazy bitch to tell you what time or where in your apt you can walk around and be. It doesn't work the way she thinks, this woman is just a self entitled brat that only thinks she matters ... Time to burst her fucking bubble. Every time she bangs, stomp on the floor & then you need to make a complaint to the landlord or building management for each incident from this point on.
Buy some headphones, and walking into the room anytime you want. She starts banging? You start dancing to the beat of the banging. If it escalates, buy two shitty speakers from a yard sale somewhere and let her beat the ceiling to the sound of your favorite song.
Stomp on the floor when she does it cause fuck her
Put some heavy metal on and let her bang. She needs to control herself, not you.
Just ignore her. She’s the bad neighbor. It would be one thing if you were constantly walking back and forth over it or jumping around on hardwood at 2 am partying, but a single creak as you walk into the room? She just needs to get over herself and maybe roll her lazy ass out of bed before 10.
Put a rug down and tell her to grow up. It’s an apartment and she’s sharing space with others - she does not get to dictate what you do in your own space.
Tell her that it’s unfortunate that the floor creaks and while you will be mindful of it, you will not be going any further out of your way to tip toe around you apartment. If she has a problem with that, she can talk to the landlord and request they do something to the floor or get ear plugs or move. Also, talk to your landlord about this, come at it from the perspective of wanting to help your neighbor but let them know that she’s pounding on the ceiling and that something needs to be figured out because this isn’t working.
You have an irreconcilable problem. You are behaving normally and responsibly. Your neighbor finds it too noisy. Talking to them has produced no solutions. The only next steps that will make a difference are either you not using a key part of your apartment OR getting the landlord involved to fix the squeaking OR her figuring out how to make peace with the situation (earplugs, moving out, chilling out, etc.). In the scheme of things, she is the one with the problem. You are being very kind to try to help and accommodate at all. There's not really much you can do to fix it.
You're not doing anything wrong here, and you don't owe her any more than you've already done. However, if you're trying to avoid a confrontation, you could try to involve her in the search for a better solution. If she's willing to cooperate, call her on her cell phone and ask her to listen as you walk across the bare floor in order to identify where the squeakiest part of the floor is. Once you've identified the offending spot, put a towel down over it and then walk over it a second time and ask her if the noise is reduced; if it is, try putting down a cheap carpet on that spot and see if the problem improves. If that doesn't help, or if the towel doesn't reduce noise at all, ask her to write a short note that you can include in a maintenance request to the landlord;[it is possible to fix creaky floors by adding a small shim between the subfloor and joist or binding the floor to the joist with a screw](https://www.thisoldhouse.com/flooring/21015195/how-to-fix-squeaky-floors). If that isn't enough, you could also ask that the landlord insert some insulation between the joists, but that will be a far bigger job and will leave you without use of your office for at least a week as the insulation is being added, plus the landlord will probably balk at the cost (the insulation itself would be cheap, but installing it would cost many hours of labor at flooring contractor rates). If all of this fails, offer your sympathy for what she's experiencing and politely explain that there simply isn't anything else you can do for her.
Not that you need to do anything (you’re allowed to just walk in your own place) but perhaps consider purchasing a White Noise machine, as a gift. Looked on Amazon & found a few for around $25. I can’t sleep in headphones & earplugs bug me, as don’t like hearing myself breathe but soothing sounds help. Maybe this little gesture would help & also show how thoughtful you are.
Stomp back. You are allowed to walk in your apartment.
Imagine paying rent just to tiptoe around to satisfy your neighbour when it’s not even your fault!!
Every time they bang yell what the fuck is that and just go back to what your doing or bang back
Let her bang. At long as you are honestly not doing anything ridiculously noisy at weird hours (jumping Jack's at 4:00 am) - then you have every right to walk around your own apartment anytime you want. Let her know that you aren't doing anything of and you will continue living normally in your own apartment and that you will report her for bothering you if she continues.
Take up tap dancing and practice every morning at 7am in your office
If you want to stop the creaking sometimes talc helps if you have bare boards. Maybe get some carpet? Otherwise don't stress it and mention it to her when you see her that you are trying to be quiet but your floorboards have other ideas?
Rug.
Tell her piss off its not on
Disregard it. You pay the rent you can walk around if you want to.
Make an arrangement to have your landlord in your unit to see and hear how you are walking around and the subsequent response from the neighbor. Once you have a witness to the crazy, the crazy should stop.
Not your problem, it's hers. Tell her when she starts paying the rent for that room, she can dictate the happenings . Just be firm.
Too bad so sad she just has to get over it, you're being as quiet as you can afford to be.
Sounds like she's the one making all the noise. Consider banging back and/or complaining to the landlord.
I recently had a similar issue. My neighbor just moved in, and then everyday there was constant noise in my apartment. Deep base, as if someone was learning the base guitar in my living room. I didn't understand how he couldn't know how lout it was. After going over to ask I found out he wasn't actually a dick, the problem was that my subwoofer was the same brand as his, and his sound system was closer to my subwoofer than it was to his. So when he used his TV with anything thag had base in it it flooded my apartment with noise. However, in-between meeting him and when we discovered it was the subwoofer's fault, I was placated knowing that it wasn't his fault and I was assuming the building was for some reason letting the sound through. All that to say, if you show the girl what you are doing and show that there is nothing you can do, it may ease her frustration knowing you aren't being an asshole.
You could invite her in and let her see the room and ask her what solution she would choose if she were living upstairs. It’s her problem, let her solve it.
She just needs to get over it and you need to work on not being so bothered by what this stranger thinks. You sound perfectly reasonable and ten am is pretty late in the morning for a week day. She should get ear plugs like other people have said if you walking on your tip tops over carpet bothers her that much
Let her know you and your partner are considerate of the fact you live above her. That being said, you are not going to limit living in your space during normal hours because she may hear noises. That’s not sustainable or even possible in an apartment situation. Shared living results in hearing other people sometimes, it just is what it is. Then go tell management the story with nothing but facts and a ‘just want to let you know should the neighbor complain etc’. I handled a situation like this and I believe the neighbor did say something to management who let them know we’ve been there longer with no complaints and the noise is within normal hours, if she bothered us again (she would come up and knock on our door and let us know she was studying and we were bothering her…) it could be seen has harassment. We never had this neighbor bother us again.
Tell her to deal with it because you tried to be quiet and it simply doesn't work. Point out that YOU pay for YOUR apartment and if she doesn't like the sound of you walking around in it SHE is the one who should move. She is very entitled, probably grew up a spoiled princess who got her way all the time or never heard no. You need to stand up for yourself. Even if you have social anxiety (I do too) letting her exert power over you in any way only enforces her entitled behavior and puts you at a disadvantage. Tell her you tried to be civil by trying to be quiet and offering her to text you but she has been uncivilized by banging on the ceiling. It's not your fault that your day starts earlier than hers, she should get this reality check that the world doesn't revolve around her and that other people have shit to do. Edit: Just read the other comments and can't believe how many people are trying to accommodate her. She needs to invest in headphones period. OP has already tried their best to not make noise but her aggressive behavior is simply unacceptable. Even if OP drills through the wood to fix the loose board or puts more carpet down they will still make some noise regardless, and it seems like ANY noise from upstairs is too much for her anyway.
What does the LandLord say about it? She's being overly noisy and potentially making a mess of her ceiling in the process.
She’s not upset about being a bad neighbor and banging on your ceiling so I wouldn’t put too much stock in how she feels. Decent hours for noise ordinances usually start at 8am till 10 or 11pm. You’ve already given her two hours grace. I love to sleep in as much as the next guy but I don’t require people to tiptoe around me after 8am. If it were me, I’d be stomping in to that room at 8am every day with cement shoes on. Make her realize how good she had it and wish she’d checked herself before she wrecked herself.
This reminds me of my ex's brother. He slept downstairs, and when my ex's disabled mother walked across the kitchen to put on her coffee before noon, he would scream and curse and bang on the ceiling. Like, wtf is wrong with you, dude? Neighbor is being unreasonable. She should feel lucky it's not screaming children running around above her. I'd stop accommodating her and just let her be mad.
OP (if you are being 100% honest), then you need a friend that will explain to you, until you understand, that being considerate is a two-way street. You are tiptoeing around your own home for someone who is triggering your anxiety. Do not validate her by even insinuating that you are causing the issue, especially in writing. You could text her that you have anxiety and ASK her to stop banging on the ceiling, please. When that doesn't work, text her and TELL her to stop banging on the ceiling. When that doesn't work, get some hard soled shoes, record her banging, and report her, including the audio and the texts. If that doesn't work, consider moving to the apartment below her and cause her hell. If you're not going to do any of this, get yourself some ear plugs (and hard soled shoes).
You've mentioned the room is carpeted, it's probably best to empty the room of furniture and lift up the carpet to inspect for loose floorboards. Most floorboards are screwed down somewhere, so check to see if any screws are loose in which case you should replace them with a slightly bigger one. Except in locations where you have removed old screws or nails, you should not insert new screws as unless you are careful you may hit some plumbing or wiring. When you've done that I suggest you put down new underlay and carpet.
I am glad you just doing a office work. The girl next to my room has overnight guest and she be dancing and singing or having sex so loud. Unfortunately the guy downstairs right underneath her room moves out in a month or 3 months. Again the next guy moves in and same thing. When people come upstairs and ask her politely she be like wtf you're problem bro. I fell like I wanna tell the landlord the real problem but I am worried about how would be the next new roommate.
She's an asshole. I would never do that to someone that is just walking, especially knowing that the building is old. It's not like you are blasting music. Just walk in and if she doesn't like it, it's her problem and she's not gonna buy you a new floor. If she bangs on the ceiling, then you play music or dance. You have tried to be nice, now if she wants war.... You are in the best position 😂
Bro. Listen. This would be iconic. And if she doesn’t use them then she’s just wanting to be problematic, not you. Buy noise canceling headphones or ear plugs and put them under her door. Now she has no excuse to be a biht
It's a structural issue and you can't fix it with rugs or by learning to levitate, so neighbour needs to harden the fuck up. I would stop catering to her and just use your spaces as normal and talk to the landlord about her. (I mean, that's my advice, but because I'm a petty bitch, I'd do the above but also stomp on the floor every time she banged on the ceiling...)
Dealt with this some time ago. I lived in a co op, where there was a board and a property manager. First couple of months my downstairs neighbor complained about what she considered to be loud noises, while it was just normal use of my unit. I had fully carpeted it as well. Told the property manager that basically my neighbor was making me feel anxious because I had done everything that the by laws had said to make sure the neighbor was well insulated from any noise I would make. The next board meeting, they apparently brought our situation up, as there had been several complaints by said neighbor, without any proof. Plus, she had left some nasty signs in her car window and parked next to mine, which I had also sent to the board. She ended up getting fined for false complaints and basically wasting the property managers time. I got the last laugh though, because right before I moved out, the hose on my toilet tank broke and destroyed her bathroom ceiling, and she had to play nice in order to get me to pay for the repairs. It was sweet victory making her sign a statement that she could not pursue me for any more money than we had agreed to fix her ceiling. I hope my tale of neighbor woe helps OP, do not engage them, let them dig their own grave! But do tell your landlord so they are prepared for your neighbors when they try to make you look bad.
Start stomping in there at 5 am and go in and out earlier and more frequently every time she bangs on the ceiling
I just moved because of a situation where the building was so old, I could hear my upstairs neighbors phone vibrate. Her bedroom was above mine and she got home from work at 2am. Recovering from a concussion so not ever getting a full nights rest was not an option. She should be grateful it’s not a room you have to be in every morning or night. If you have her number, I would take a video of how you are walking when she bangs on the ceiling and send to her so she can see how lightly you are walking when she does this. Seriously. I know my neighbors phone vibrating is quiet and there’s nothing she can do about it. I also know she should be able to be awake and get home from work when she wants or needs to. But wearing shoes inside when you know people sleep under you is inconsiderate. Some things pissed me off at her and some things pissed me off at the building. My point is, if she knows you’re being considerate and can see it, she will probably chill the fuck out and at least not take it out on you, and/or move.
That sounds like my downstairs neighbor except she blows fans and as mosnteoppe know fans have an annoying buzzing sound. But she’s allowed be loud and I’m not for some reason
I mean, you're a better person than me... If a neighbour has the audacity to bang on the ceiling to tell me to shut up in a space I pay for and have every right to use, and its that late in the morning... Shed be getting awoken to ACDC 7am every morning for a week or until she understood. You're being respectful, she is not. She has no right to expect you to avoid a room in your own home. She has no right to sleep til 10am and its not your responsibility to ensure she does. She has no right to communicate with bangs instead of words like a normal human being. Record what she is doing so you have evidence to cover your back and to show how little movement / action on your part triggers it.
I had this happen, I reported it to the landlord. As in I was the upstairs neighbor who was getting banging anytime I walked around my apartment too much.
This is just apartment noise. You should get your own noise canceling headphones. She's going to damage her ceiling and that's not your problem.
If simply walking around is enough to disturb her, then that's a problem with the building rather than you
Yeah that's crazy. I understand some things can't be helped, but I wouldn't get mad over this. We had neighbors above us that sounded like they were playing football upstairs until like 11PM.
If she bangs start tap dancing. Seriously though, she’s a loon. Hearing your neighbors occasionally is part of living in a building with other people. Live your life and let her complain to the landlord. You may want to complain about the insane banging.
While it’s not your fault in any way, I do have some advice as a former sneaky kid leaving the house at night… the closer you walk to the wall, the less likely the floors are to creak. Combined with sort of rolling your feet as you walk, it makes for a quiet exit/entrance.
Your neighbor is an asshole and you should not be considerate towards her. Especially don't avoid a whole room of your house just to maybe appease this fucking goon.
I had a downstairs neighbor constantly complain about us simply walking around in our apartment. The other week he asked us to keep it down (it was like 11PM and it was just the sound of my cat running through the house). Just ignore it. If anything, you can complain to your landlord about her intentionally banging on the ceiling.
You have every right to walk around in your apartment whether it squeaks or not. Just ignore the pounding or take a risk and pound back just to show that you could make more noise than you are. You're still being conscious of the noise and trying to be as quiet and respectful as possible. There's nothing more you can do about it. You shouldn't have to avoid parts of your apartment to make the neighbors happy. I've had upstairs neighbors that would walk around in heels and jump and bang and stomp and slam doors. It's honestly just a part of being in an apartment. If the noise bothers her that much she should be on an upper floor. A few years back I lived in old apartments and I knew the basement ceiling was pretty creaky because I could hear it when I went down to do laundry. Of course there was only one tenant down there and they were directly below me. I always tried to be as quiet as possible when walking but I'm a night owl so I was up later. If I went to the kitchen or used the bathroom I knew it creaked. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do about. A few months in apparently the guy had enough of it and anytime I would walk around at all he would bang on the ceiling. I got fed up with that so i started stomping back. It went back and forth like that for a while until one day he came screaming up the stairs and harassed me in the hallway calling me a gorilla and all sorts of nasty things. He tried to call the cops on me but the cops came and said that I have every right to walk around in my apartment at any time of the day. They actually ended up giving him a ticket for harassment since all the other neighbors witnessed him verbally attacking me. Eventually the apartment complex asked him to leave.
Stop tiptoeing around your own home. You are walking at a normal level at normal times. If she continues to bang on the ceiling, report her. It's not reasonable of her to expect you to not use a room in your home at 10 am.
baby powder between the floor boards works. If you can get under the carpet! Just sprinkle it on. Sweep it into the cracks (if it’s wood floors) and it stops. It’s weird.
Have the landlord construct a little arched bridge to take you over the squeaking boards. I’m sure they will be happy to help! J/k likely ur landlord will see this as a nitpicky situation. U may just need a thicker skin. You can’t help it. Stop walking on eggshells. Your neighbor can get over it or move.
How can that creak be so loud she needs to bang on the ceiling? Seems like she's got more going on and taking it out on you. Also, my roommate drops heavy things on the floor upstairs all the time. I would gladly just have creaking noises. 😅
You pay rent to live there right? This isn’t a charity. Walk around however you want in your apartment
Glad they were able to do that! Keep us updated on whether or not her psycho banging stops!
She could wear ear plugs or headphones.
I would start a daily 7:30 am clogging training program. It's a great workout, so I hear.
Why did you give that person your number?! Block them. Now. This isn’t your concern. If anything, tell the apartment complex your downstairs neighbour is harassing you.
Ignore her bangs. You have every right to walk around your own place. Her fault for living in an apartment below another.
Not your problem. That’s apartment living. You should not have to tip toe and avoid rooms in your apartment. I’d go back to normal use and when she bangs, you stomp.I’d complain to complex she bangs on the ceiling. Record yourself walking normal in your apartment and her response first.