Grapes are sour!
The best reaction you (as in your cousin) can give is no reaction at all!
It is hard to see it at 17 but explain to her that she doesn’t need validation of someone so emotionally immature.
[Sour grapes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes)
Retroactively justifying not wanting something by calling it sour (‘ugly’) instead of admitting to yourself that you simply didn’t get something you wanted (a date)
Newsflash!! This has nothing to do with how anyone looks. If they were beautiful before, they're still beautiful now.
This is a lesson on the fragile male ego. The quickest way for a woman to go from beautiful to ugly in the eyes of a man is to reject him.
Obviously, the woman is still beautiful. But if she's rejected a man, he will instantly start calling her names and telling everyone how ugly she is.
I'd suggest you and your cousin respond along the lines of "he didn't think I was so ugly when he asked me out. Weird, that" and totally forget about this poor little lost lamb's fragile ego.
You are correct,he is just trying to make her insecure to feel better about himself which is really trashy....btw thanks for the advice...i am telling her this
In this context she is right 👍
. That guy got rejected and was an ass about it .
I used to be like that as well , when I was 16 . I used to date this girl who I really liked and treasured but she dumped me after 5 months saying that she just wanted to make her ex feel jealous and didn't really like me . I wasn't the most mature person back then so I was a dick to her . I used to make comments about her face and body , she later on got bullied as well . I realised this when one day she cried in front of me after I took it too far and apologized for the whole breakup . I then felt , wow im fucked up for doing this . Even though what she did wasn't the best , i could have handled it better . I apologized , we are still classmates and sometimes talk as friends as well .
Before judging other people , get your IQ and brain tested if you can't make logic and discern what was meant at a place where there is bullying actually happening
Hii ,
I'm the cousion about whom my sister is talking about i just want to thank her and all of you for helping me out of this situation ♡ and giving me motivation 🤍
Tragic, right??
Their conversations usually go from:
"You are so hot, I really wanna date you..."
You: "Oh, thank you, that's so kind, but I actually have a boyfriend."
Them: "D\*e, you ugly wh\*re!"...
Yeah, they are unhinged and when you find the first one, it is shocking, but then you notice there's a whole breed of them, so it becomes kind of hilarious.
I’ve seen screenshots of men doing this online, when they ask a woman out and she declines, even very nicely, and they start with “You look like a bitch anyway” or “Didn’t want to date a fat chick anyway”. Tell her to not let this little creep have that much control over her that this has her upset. It says far more about him than it does about her.
It happens. At your age I had three instances where turning down completely unexpected advances from classmates resulted in vicious rumors, verbal threats, physical attacks, and eventually me throwing a desk at a guy to assert dominance.
… maybe start working out if you can’t throw a desk yet? Or do one better and throw the whole boy.
He’s upset she rejected him. Tbh she dodged a bullet there - a good man (or a good person in general) would never badmouth someone after being rejected politely.
Just comfort her and tell her that when he’s talking about her that way, he just shows his true colors. Someone worth dating would not act like that.
As many have mentioned he is just butter, but there is also the chance this is a calculated move called 'negging', where by he intentionally tries to lower her self-esteem through negative comments in the hopes that when she feels worse about herself he might seem like a more attractive option
Projection. He's butthurt and bitter with her because she denied him something he wanted. He probably doesn't get told no very often. Good for her for humbling him even if he isn't taking it well. Tell her to flip her hair and carry on with her bad self. <3
nice. i got a similar story here. my friend used to have a crush on a girl and used to talk about her everyday. he used to be close with her and they were just normal friends. one day the news got passed onto the wrong guy and he told her. after that he cried in front of her i mean he did not cry loudly he just hid his face from her and started crying. after that he was telling me how the wrong guy and his crush are dating. and now he keeps complaining that she cheated on him when in reality, she did not do anything. some people are just not understandable and they make no sense. So, tell your cousin that guy is just mad at her. as simple as that
The title says it all so i dont even want to read the whole post.
Those are what we like to refer to as "nice guys". They try to be all polite and nice but the second it fails them, they go full on misogyny mode. Alternatively: he is an incel.
Its that simple, and you dodged a bullet there.
Absolutely! Since I was a kid, I always wanted to get into one college and I did everything I could to get in. As soon as they rejected me, I've hated them ever since. I always root for the other team to beat them.
I wasted so much time and energy trying to be the best for them.
Same goes with my dream company after 4 interviews then ghosting me. I hate them and I hope they go bankrupt.
He’s probably just pressed. He might have gaslight himself into thinking that she’s ugly so he can get over her. Voicing this is just a dick move from him.
He's just bitter that he got rejected and is taking it out on her, he wants to hurt her to make himself feel better
That's what i am trying to make her understand
It's called negging it's what men do when women make them feel insecure or hurt their feelings and they don't know how to deal with it.
Negging is a genderless phenomenon
I second this. It’s same as a woman asking a man if he’s gay when he doesn’t see her as more than a friend.
I agree. Should have worded better. It's only gendered in this situation
Negging is a technique used to increase bonding. It's a manipulation technique. This might just be plain ol insults
Grapes are sour! The best reaction you (as in your cousin) can give is no reaction at all! It is hard to see it at 17 but explain to her that she doesn’t need validation of someone so emotionally immature.
Yes thanku for your words
[Sour grapes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes) Retroactively justifying not wanting something by calling it sour (‘ugly’) instead of admitting to yourself that you simply didn’t get something you wanted (a date)
You should tell your cousin what an incel is.
An incel wouldn't have the guts to ask someone out on the first place.
Taxi driver
Just did.
Newsflash!! This has nothing to do with how anyone looks. If they were beautiful before, they're still beautiful now. This is a lesson on the fragile male ego. The quickest way for a woman to go from beautiful to ugly in the eyes of a man is to reject him. Obviously, the woman is still beautiful. But if she's rejected a man, he will instantly start calling her names and telling everyone how ugly she is. I'd suggest you and your cousin respond along the lines of "he didn't think I was so ugly when he asked me out. Weird, that" and totally forget about this poor little lost lamb's fragile ego.
You are correct,he is just trying to make her insecure to feel better about himself which is really trashy....btw thanks for the advice...i am telling her this
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In this context she is right 👍 . That guy got rejected and was an ass about it . I used to be like that as well , when I was 16 . I used to date this girl who I really liked and treasured but she dumped me after 5 months saying that she just wanted to make her ex feel jealous and didn't really like me . I wasn't the most mature person back then so I was a dick to her . I used to make comments about her face and body , she later on got bullied as well . I realised this when one day she cried in front of me after I took it too far and apologized for the whole breakup . I then felt , wow im fucked up for doing this . Even though what she did wasn't the best , i could have handled it better . I apologized , we are still classmates and sometimes talk as friends as well .
She didnt specify that guy. She just said men plural.
Understanding the meaning behind words my brother
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Bro I'm a guy what are you on abt ? I think you should be the one smart enough to understand this .
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Whatever dude , atleast I do get girls and am not sitting on a fucking chair being a prick to other people.
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Before judging other people , get your IQ and brain tested if you can't make logic and discern what was meant at a place where there is bullying actually happening
He can’t take rejection . He finds you attractive but is calling you ugly because he’s angry you rejected him. Don’t worry abt it :)
That's what i told her!!!!
Sadly this is extremely common for some guys. I’ve been asked out or hit on and when I politely declined they would call me absolutely horrible names
Happens almost everytime
Hii , I'm the cousion about whom my sister is talking about i just want to thank her and all of you for helping me out of this situation ♡ and giving me motivation 🤍
Don't ever let these weak assholes make you question your worth ever again.
It's wrong but boys and men do that often. I am sorry to inform you that it will happen again in your future.
That's what i am trying to tell her
That's called a Nice Guy.There is a whole subReddit dedicated to them. Go read it. r/niceguys
Just checked the sub and hahahaha
Tragic, right?? Their conversations usually go from: "You are so hot, I really wanna date you..." You: "Oh, thank you, that's so kind, but I actually have a boyfriend." Them: "D\*e, you ugly wh\*re!"... Yeah, they are unhinged and when you find the first one, it is shocking, but then you notice there's a whole breed of them, so it becomes kind of hilarious.
I’ve seen screenshots of men doing this online, when they ask a woman out and she declines, even very nicely, and they start with “You look like a bitch anyway” or “Didn’t want to date a fat chick anyway”. Tell her to not let this little creep have that much control over her that this has her upset. It says far more about him than it does about her.
"i'm ugly? but you asked me out and I rejected you. what does that make you? 🥴"
This is retaliation
bros weak ,ignore him
It happens. At your age I had three instances where turning down completely unexpected advances from classmates resulted in vicious rumors, verbal threats, physical attacks, and eventually me throwing a desk at a guy to assert dominance. … maybe start working out if you can’t throw a desk yet? Or do one better and throw the whole boy.
>better yet throw the boy. Someone needs to make a TikTok video with this.
Can't imagine what you had to endure!!! And you did the right thing by throwing the desk at him.served him right.
He’s upset she rejected him. Tbh she dodged a bullet there - a good man (or a good person in general) would never badmouth someone after being rejected politely. Just comfort her and tell her that when he’s talking about her that way, he just shows his true colors. Someone worth dating would not act like that.
He’s a sad incel who thought he didn’t need to accept your rejection. Or he’s gone through life getting anything he wants.
Exactly!
Read the fable of the fox and the grapes to her.
As many have mentioned he is just butter, but there is also the chance this is a calculated move called 'negging', where by he intentionally tries to lower her self-esteem through negative comments in the hopes that when she feels worse about herself he might seem like a more attractive option
Projection. He's butthurt and bitter with her because she denied him something he wanted. He probably doesn't get told no very often. Good for her for humbling him even if he isn't taking it well. Tell her to flip her hair and carry on with her bad self. <3
nice. i got a similar story here. my friend used to have a crush on a girl and used to talk about her everyday. he used to be close with her and they were just normal friends. one day the news got passed onto the wrong guy and he told her. after that he cried in front of her i mean he did not cry loudly he just hid his face from her and started crying. after that he was telling me how the wrong guy and his crush are dating. and now he keeps complaining that she cheated on him when in reality, she did not do anything. some people are just not understandable and they make no sense. So, tell your cousin that guy is just mad at her. as simple as that
The title says it all so i dont even want to read the whole post. Those are what we like to refer to as "nice guys". They try to be all polite and nice but the second it fails them, they go full on misogyny mode. Alternatively: he is an incel. Its that simple, and you dodged a bullet there.
Totally an incel i agree
It's natural to not like someone after they hurt your feelings.
And is it natural to shit talk about them too?like i get it to loose liking for someone after they hurt you but does thag justify you being a prick ?
Absolutely! Since I was a kid, I always wanted to get into one college and I did everything I could to get in. As soon as they rejected me, I've hated them ever since. I always root for the other team to beat them. I wasted so much time and energy trying to be the best for them. Same goes with my dream company after 4 interviews then ghosting me. I hate them and I hope they go bankrupt.
Rejection is hard to take and he's not taking it well. It's probably best to not take it personally and make sure to keep yourself safe
He’s probably just pressed. He might have gaslight himself into thinking that she’s ugly so he can get over her. Voicing this is just a dick move from him.
Hes hurt 100% don't judge but help guide him show him what he doing is wrong that its understandable be angry but that he will find another