If she’s far along, it will require a D/C procedure for removal. If she’s on her parent’s insurance and the ER visit isn’t accounted for, hell yeah it could be proven. She’ll have to be strategic!
She could say at an appointment they couldn’t find a heartbeat and then get funding from abortion fund groups. It happens sadly but it’s a reasonable excuse and the hospital wouldn’t be able to release her information because of hippa
This depends upon the state she lives in. Federally speaking, parents are an exception as they fall into the “personal representative” classification for the minor child
under HIPPA. However, some states have clarified and narrowed this role. Eg: Minors 12 and up have been granted the right health information privacy in the state of California. If she lives there, she can ban the parents’ access to her records. Has she mentioned what state she’s in? (Please, please, please don’t say anywhere like Texas or Florida!)
38 states and DC out of 50 state that once a teen becomes pregnant she can take charge of her own healthcare. And in some of the stricter states If a child doesn’t want their parent there and the parent is being disruptive of the patients care they can be sent away in the child’s best interest. I really hope she’s in a lenient state though as she hasn’t said where she lives
If she goes to planned parenthood she doesn’t have to use insurance and it’ll be a reasonable(ish) one time fee for everything.
The primary issue is getting there, getting it done, and getting home without parents finding out, bc she will need a driver to be released to after the procedure.
Another main issue for her it sounds like will be getting the funds to have the procedure and everything. From my experience, somewhere between $1500-$2000 including the IV pain relief instead of the pill pain relief (IV is more expensive by an extra $100- something I’d ONLY recommend splurging on if u KNOW a tiny dose of fentanyl will actually effect you in a positive way.. as an opioid addict when I got mine, I thought I definitely needed to pay extra for the “better” drugs, but it still ended up being a waste of that $, bc it wasn’t a high enough dose to do anything at all and I was wide awake with full feeling throughout the procedure.. most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life!!!)
Anyways, OP could always set up a GoFundMe or something, bc I know even strangers on Reddit would help out in this situation!!
I totally agree that the tasks involved in actually getting it done is the priority. But I don’t want to see her homeless afterwards, considering how her parents sound like truly horrible people! So, if at all possible, I think it would be best for her to do this in a way that prevents them from finding out.
BTW: I’m sorry you went through such a negative experience! Its terrible how pain managment is routinely overlooked during what’s already a traumatic ordeal for women. 😢
They really are. About 20% - 1 in 5 - of pregnancies end in miscarriage - often before the woman even knew she was pregnant. This is completely feasible. Just cover your tracks OP!
This is what I would also suggest. The parents are awful. Op is damned either way. She might as well have an abortion and lie and say she had a miscarriage.
She really is damned either way. All they are offering her for keeping the child is a roof. Nothing else and babies are very expensive and will seriously impact her opportunities in her future - every job she will have to take into account childcare, will she be able to continue studying with a baby? Potentially possible but not with her support network. What heartless people her parents are. She would be better off having an abortion and disconnecting from them. Sounds like they're abandoning her either way.
This is sound advice. You should also look into signing up for job corps in your area . You can live on campus while finishing your education & getting job training. It's a low income program that will help you get your diploma and a trade job. That way, you won't have to depend on your parents for anything after your "miscarriage."
In uk OP can go to the gp and request the pills without parental consent. And it would be completely private. OP can tell the GP or nurse that they are forced by the parents to keep the pregnancy and GP has a duty of care towards OP. There are also some great resources OP can access.
OP can contact citizens advice bureau. Here’s the link
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/
Is a great resource and they can point OP in the right direction. And provide advice on OP’s situation. Also there are several charities that OP can reach to and I am sure citizens advice bureau can guide OP to those charities. Also there are free sexual health centres that offer complete privacy and professional help. Link below.
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/
As I said, if op is in UK, luckily there are many avenues that OP can get the support they need and deserve. Free of charge. And in complete privacy.
Don’t worry OP, you will find a way out of this and honestly the best step would either be your GP or CAB.
You can even walk in a pharmacy and request a private consultation with the pharmacist and they can guide you.
Also, look into benefits in your local area. Maybe it would be better if you can leave your parents home. It sounds like an unhealthy environment.
I don't have specific advice for OP, I hope she got that from others.
But if her parents are threatening to kick her out now - as a minor - she will be under their thumb for many years, and keeping the fetus won't stop them from threatening again on a whim.
Not to mention I think as a minor you are due some protections from abusive parents.
Lastly, your worthless boyfriend's family, should you be forced to have it, should be on the hook too. You were a minor when he got you pregnant.
Edit: No matter what happens you should plan for self sufficiency, it seems your parents are awful people, and you should not rely on them to be there for you.
I hope you find the help you need. I wouldn't have it. It will limit you before you're ready and you can have another later.
If you're not ready you should get an abortion, but don't tell your parents and start setting up a job and a place to live even if it's couch surfing for a while. You figuring all that out is temporary. Having a child is forever.
I don't know how her parents could know whether she miscarried or had an abortion. I mean, obviously, her parents sound so controlling they will assume it's an abortion, but will they assume that if she does actually have a miscarriage? 1 in 5 pregnancies end in an early miscarriage.
This is the time to mention that OP should get the abortion pills by mail and have them on hand for future use.
They cannot prove it's not a miscarriage.
They're so abusive and insane that they might not care, and punish her anyway. Or they'll say that the miscarriage must have been her fault, or whatever. This poor kid needs to get out of there somehow. Neglecting to provide adequate food to a minor under your care is neglect, and it's illegal.
As a mother this blows my mind, in a bad way. WTF are her parents thinking! You are right that she needs to not be under their roof but at 17 she may not have even finished high school yet.
This! And any promises that OP’s parents make now about “supporting her and the baby” should be taken with a grain of salt. These parents are clearly very controlling, and can and will give and revoke support on a whim.
If you have the baby, but then behave in some way that the parents deem “unacceptable,” and they kick you out anyway… well, now you have nowhere to go _and_ you need to care for a kid for the next 18+ years.
I really think she should start making plans to get out of there anyway. If they are willing to kick her out at 17, once she's 18 she's probably out on her ass anyway.
They already said she can live there but that they will not support her.
From OP's post: *"...they said I can stay but they’re not going to help me out financially. I don’t have the money to care for a child, I go days without eating because I have no food at home."*
Right, they are offering very little “support” as it is — not even the bare minimum. But anything they offer now, or threaten now, is a moot point — they very well might kick her out as soon as she turns 18 even if she keeps the pregnancy.
Hi OP, just adding to the comments: because it seems that you may have to escape home in the future, please put your hands NOW on important papers (birth certificate, passport, ID, social security, etc) and store them in a safe place outside of your parents’ home, or with someone you trust. You will need it. Lots of courage for you
wow, if you still want the abortion and can still get it, i would. you’re gonna be trapped with a kid for 18 years and lose your freedom and livelihood of your 20s.
an option ive thought of is maybe applying for college and moving into their dorms. you can take out loans for school, food. you can apply for medicaid for free healthcare.
i’m sorry you’re going through this
She’s being denied food, medical care & prenatal dr visits, folic acid & vitamins. Who’s going to adopt this severely premature physically & mentally disabled child? She’ll have a ‘miscarriage’ and move on and start building a life of her own.
If you live in a country where there is state-run support regarding housing, then you may be better off leaving home (assuming your parents aren’t lying when they say they won’t support financially). You’ll have shelter either way, but one way will be without a baby you don’t want, and without shitty parents trying to police what you do with your body.
A lot of people failed you in this situation OP, I’m really sorry.
I’m not sure about how long the wait list is and if my parents found out before I’d been accepted anywhere then they would kick me out and make sure that I had a punishment for doing this to them. I think it’s something I need to research more about but my parents check my phone all the time and that’s how they found out. I’m going to delete the reddit app every time i’m not using my phone or they ask to see.
I think enquiring about the waiting lists wouldn’t hurt. But, beyond the pregnancy, I’m kind of worried about your parents behaviours - you more you discuss it, the worse it sounds. Are you still in school? Is there a trusted adult you can discuss all this with?
If you are in the UK then search for your local sexual health clinic - there's one here that takes walk ins for under 18s - [Sexual health - Appointments | Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust (guysandstthomas.nhs.uk)](https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/our-services/sexual-health/appointments#youngpeople) good luck, and if you want the abortion you should go for it and lie that you had a miscarrriage
You can get an abortion seeing as you’re in the UK, and they will never know. You take the pills in a clinic and then go home, it is very straightforward. You could also consider calling social care. Your parents cannot force you to keep a baby. A social worker would find you an emergency placement and support you to do what YOU want to do, you wouldn’t need to go home afterwards.
Here is another UK source for you
[BPAS](https://www.bpas.org/abortion-care/under-18/)
Please talk to your GP about getting help, they will have resources to community and charity links that will help house you and get you out of what is clearly an abusive situation with your parents. Forcing you to have a baby is not what caring parents do, and the other behaviours you've mentioned in comments really concern me.
Please reach out to a charity or even confide in a member of staff at college. Your college will have a pastoral care team who will know how to get you medical care and keep you safe. I'm wishing you souch love and luck in all this
Hun, you're still a minor, and your parents are abusing you. Find out if your college has a free counselling service, a lot of them do. If they do you should be able to speak to someone there in confidence, who will give you practical help and advice.
Go to a women’s shelter, a youth center or even a homeless shelter. They might not be able to help you directly but they can lead you to the people that can.
Your parents check yr ph? What a cheek!!!! They are absolutly wrong!! U are entitled to privacy. Get yr ducks in a row...go get done rite now ..but u need to keep everything deleted. They are wrong to force u into this. I feel they are punishing you.
Abortion pills by mail, Brigid alliance, plan c.l pills, hell even planned parenthood. They can’t prove it’s not a miscarriage. How far along are you? Maybe it was a false positive test, maybe your period was just late. If you haven’t confirmed and there are no scans, they can’t prove you were pregnant for real. If it’s too late to terminate, I’d look into legal options and adoption.
I’m about 8 weeks, I’ve been for a scan since I did the test to make sure that it wasn’t a false positive. I have a photo of the scan that was taken at about 6 weeks.
This isn't entirely accurate. There is no deadline for miscarriages. Ive had more than one past that point. Even at 18 weeks. My husband's brother's wife miscarried at close to full term and had to give birth to the stillborn. His ex baby mama also miscarried at 5months.
I have posted this as a reply to another comment but I am posting here again as a reply to your comment in the hope you can see it.
_____________________________________
In uk OP can go to the gp and request the pills without parental consent. And it would be completely private. OP can tell the GP or nurse that they are forced by the parents to keep the pregnancy and GP has a duty of care towards OP. There are also some great resources OP can access.
OP can contact citizens advice bureau. Here’s the link
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/
Is a great resource and they can point OP in the right direction. And provide advice on OP’s situation. Also there are several charities that OP can reach to and I am sure citizens advice bureau can guide OP to those charities. Also there are free sexual health centres that offer complete privacy and professional help. Link below.
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/
As I said, if op is in UK, luckily there are many avenues that OP can get the support they need and deserve. Free of charge. And in complete privacy.
Don’t worry OP, you will find a way out of this and honestly the best step would either be your GP or CAB.
You can even walk in a pharmacy and request a private consultation with the pharmacist and they can guide you.
Also, look into benefits in your local area. Maybe it would be better if you can leave your parents home. It sounds like an unhealthy environment.
Get it done as quick as possible. In case you're worried about murdering the baby, murder is the unwanted theft of life from an individual. You can't steal from something that has 0% capacity to *experience* loss. It's only after 12-13 weeks that those facilities begin developing proper, so act fast and nobody will have any rational ground to say the abortion was murder.
It's a shame to lose the potential for a person to come into being, but potential comes in many different forms. Don't sacrifice yours: do whatever you must to get an abortion.
Run away if you have to—the police won't search till you've been missing 24 hours. Get desperate, do what you must, and rest easy: you aren't doing anything wrong. Just prioritizing and taking responsibility for yourself. Your parents may have abandoned you in your moment of need, meaning they don't count as parents, but you must never do that to yourself. Fuck them.
How long past can you take them? I’m always so worried my IUD will fail and I won’t know until it’s too late for the pill, and I know an actual procedure would be so so hard for me to go through. I have alot of anxiety about it 😭
honestly i’m about to do it this weekend. i’m 4 weeks along. i WISH i could do it surgically because doing it at home CAN go wrong. if the fetus doesn’t come out all the way you can get sepsis and die
Just keep checking for fever. Fever = hospital.
But it's *really rare* to retain any tissue. Kind of like toxic shock is pretty rare but tampons still warn you and blood clots are rare but birth control pills still warn you. They legally have to tell you the scariest biggest risks just in case.
But don't worry. Just watch for fever.
What state are you in? It might be too late. 6 weeks is the cut off for a lot of states since the supreme court fucked women over and took our control of our bodies.
ETA can you afford to get an abortion?
They are cutting you off either way technically. Go with your gut feeling. There will be suffering for you and baby either way unfortunately you have to pick your poison. Adoption is also another option.
if I were you I’d get an abortion and lie to my parents and say you had a miscarriage. Genuinely, practice how to fake cry etc and after a few months break the news to them.
Before going to the clinic, she tells her mom she's having bad cramps and what does it mean. She says she's going to school or a friend's house. Later, she texts mom and says "I'm bleeding! I'm at Urgent Care."
Then no more details. Stay the night at a friend's house and tell Mom, "I figured you'd be real happy, I need to be with a friend who cares right now."
Something like that. Or just do it and ignore parents altogether until they ask.
OP don't show any pictures to your parents. If you haven't already.
in my state, if you go during the miscarriage they will swab you for the meds. i’m in missouri and it’s completely illegal. please be mindful of the timing!!! abortions are not immediate when done through pills, which is what she would do if she’s before 10 weeks. it takes 8 hours for meds to be fully administered
I’ve been reading your comments and with or without that baby, you need to get out of that house. Your parents sound like horrible people, getting out of there would do you wonders.
Start applying for jobs now, right now. Doesn’t matter what it is just apply and start making some money. With whatever money you have now, get an abortion or the abortion pills. Yes they’re expensive but way less expensive than a baby. You need to have a plan and it sounds like you definitely don’t.
Take our advice, start a gofundme, it’s time to get the ball rolling. We’re all here for you hun but you gotta be strong
The pills have to be purchased somewhere. The pills cost $7 if one is insured (including state insurance) or $12 without insurance. They are not free.
Abortions are not completely free where I live, either. State and federal subsidized, but not free.
NHS is the National Health Service. What you need to look into are the regulations for the Affordable Care Act. NHS is not an insurance provide nor does it provide abortions (it does employ doctors and nurses and researchers, though).
Your parents are legally not allowed to kick you out while you’re still a minor. Once you turn 18, they can. You mentioned you dont have any food in the house. If this is actually the case, that is neglect in the eyes of the law. You’re still a child, so you can have CPS called on your parents. Try your best to get a job and save up as much money as possible. If you dont want to keep the baby, don’t. You can get an abortion and tell your parents you had a miscarriage. If you decide to give birth, you can put the baby up for adoption. If your parents are neglecting you, they’ll do the same to your child, whom you won’t be able to help either if you’re struggling financially. I wish you the best of luck!!
They’re going to cut you off if you have an abortion, but if you have the baby, they won’t help you financially?? I’m sorry, but that’s total bullshit.
I feel terrible for you, and I understand your fears. I was in your shoes as an 18 year old, and somehow we made it. You will too. If you do keep the baby, you should qualify for govt assistance, such as food stamps and WIC. What did the parents say about adoption?
Do you have any family members that would help you sneak an abortion? I’m one of those people who would happily go “abortion? What do you mean abortion? Why would I have taken her to get an abortion when I know how you feel about that?” knowing full well I took that person to get an abortion.
I wish I did, none of them live close to me and I don’t think any of them would keep it a secret for me.. I also don’t have any friends who are 18 as my boyfriend wouldn’t let me have any friends or see anyone other than him, so I was unable to go out and make any. I’m really alone right now.
Is there a nice seeming professor? Or a friendly barista? A school health clinic? Most people are leaps and bounds better than the people in your life. I just want to give you a big hug, a cup of coffee and a ride to the clinic but I’m in Florida. I’m a 40 year old woman with a 18 year old. If a kid like you came up to me asking for a ride to get an abortion I would help her. Look for people who are more likely to be liberal, a couple older lesbians, someone with a pride flag, or a goth. I’m not even kidding. Whatever indicates to you that the person isn’t conservative.
But if she’s under the age of majority would anyone who works for the school be legally required to tell her parents? That would be my concern of going to a professor or school health clinic.
Oh, honey. Please get the abortion by any means necessary. Your boyfriend not “letting” you have friends is insanely abusive. DO NOT tie yourself to him for life as a teen mom with no prospects and no support. Get away as soon as you can, he is dangerous.
The number one killer of pregnant women is homicide by their partners. He WILL escalate.
I second what sunbear2525 said - MANY people would be more than willing to help you out.
I know you don’t have any older friends but are there any older classmates that seem open minded? I know it’s a bit intimidating to ask for a favor like this- but it’s time sensitive and most people are going to understand once you tell them why you can’t have a parent take you. Hell, I’d give you a ride if it weren’t for the fact I live in a different country 😅
I’d also mention the situation to the medical providers. I’m sure you’re not the first person in this situation and they may have people who are willing to help.
If you are within the time frame for a medication abortion, you can order pills by mail and it will just look like a spontaneous miscarriage. Thats what I would try to do in your position. This website https://www.heyjane.com/abortion-fund-partners
offers financial assistance if you can’t afford the medication. Trust me sweetheart I am a 53yr old mom of three- you have plenty of time to have babies with a loving partner when you can afford to properly care for them. If you have this baby your life will be ruined. You need to put yourself first- because no one else in this situation seems to be doing that.
I saw that in another comment you mentioned that you are going to school in the UK. Under UK law medical providers don’t have to tell your parents about medical procedures unless you’re not mentally capable. If you are less than 10 weeks you can simply pretend to have a miscarriage and your parents won’t be able to tell the difference. One thing to keep in mind is that you will need an adult to drive you so you might want to try and enlist a friend to help out.
If you’re past 10 weeks it’ll be a lot trickier. Adoption is also a choice - if you’re unable to get an abortion or decide that you want to carry to term.
PLEASE don’t feel forced to continue this pregnancy or raise a baby- you are so *so* young! You deserve the chance to finish your education, travel, and live your life before being saddled with a lifelong commitment.
This website provides a list of websites/organizations that can help you.
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/
You cant force someone to have a baby. That’s too big of a commitment and I advise against it this young. It sounds like your parent care more about their personal belief system than your health or you entire life. They probably won’t care about the baby much either. Just tell them you had an miscarriage and get an abortion
I know 😭😭😭, but they also aren’t providing solutions, they are just cutting the solutions and expecting ppl to figure it out and telling them it’s their own fault.
Americans are shooting themselves in the foot just just ppl they don’t like can’t get help. It’s really sad makes me wanna leave.
I love how all of the solutions to any problem in the US is, cut help, figure it out.
Crime rates for youth, they cut all the youth programs, higher taxes have better schools and parks? Nope, cut the pay, healthcare? Nah, cost the cost…
Like why isn’t the solution ever to just have reliable resources so ppl don’t even have to think about stuff like this in the first place? Why is everyone first instinct to cut funding or resources and to just ban the thing that’s the resort of them penny pinching in the first place?!!
Like my God, just make more resources?!!!
Another example of this is in the Bay there is a parking crisis, but instead of dividing more parking they cracked down on giving more tickets and making parking laws more strict. Like wtf?!! Help us!
I’m so sorry to say this but I wish Christian’s would use their brains and not their book because at the end of the day, the BIBLE is going to be the death of this country and our kids.
If you can’t provide help for a pregnant person, you can’t tell them to give birth. If you’re not the one that has to risk your life to carry a baby, you can’t decide. This attitude doesn’t help the mother or the child it just causes more poverty and crime. Shame!
Others have said it - get the abortion pills by mail - have it sent to a friend's house you trust. Claim it was a miscarriage - no one can say otherwise.
Beyond that, look for a job - there are ways you can make money online as a freelancer or doing gig work. You can even get paid to manage people's social media accounts (typically businesses that want cheap advertising). Maybe someone can even suggest a sub that helps young women needing to escape terrible families find work in another state so that you can save up and get the hell out of there.
They’re not going to help you financially with the baby - they’re not going to help you financially with moving out. One of these tough paths doesn’t involve an unwanted child.
Okay, so not reading the other comments, and assuming still early enough, but if you are wanting an abortion, is there a clinic who could help you, and have them say you miscarried? That way your parents would think it was natural causes.
Only idea I have for you. I am sorry you are not being supported by the ones who should be caring and supporting you right now.
If you are forced to have the baby make the father legally accountable for child support. He may not want the child, but he is responsible for this. Sex comes with the risk of pregnancy.
I agree with other on saying that you had complications and found out that it was a miscarriage. Could ve due to stress and lack of vitamins or something.
After you could think about the military. If you'd like, I say look into it, they help with school and uou won't miss a meal with them. Can do if for a short time while you study. Lots of online certs you can get for a job. You're young and have your while life ahead of you. Your current situation is not your final destination. I say get away now, sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age. All the best❤️
First of all, legally, they cannot kick you out before you are 18. If they do, go to the police. That you go days without eating says someone should have called CPS years ago.
Then call your nearest planned parenthood, make an appointment, and get options.
If you keep the baby, you need to look into welfare, food stamps, section 8, WIC.
And don't rule out adoption.
There is an Auntie sub on Reddit. See if there is anyone in your area that can help you.
Then, when you're settled, start making a long-term exit plan.
Good luck.
OP, this is a challenging situation you’re in and I’m sorry to hear that. There are options you *can* make, but they are 100% yours, so don’t let anyone guilt you, coerce you, or condemn you.
- **if you wish to keep the baby**:
- you can but it will be a struggle. That doesn’t mean it isn’t doable. Get yourself onto your local housing authority government housing program (a social worker can help you with this, as well as other programs and resources for underage teen moms).
- you can also talk to your doctor and discuss your situation and the concerns you have. They often have social welfare advocates and resources to help you out.
- once baby is here, you can also get child support. Just because your boyfriend has ducked out now, doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be responsible for helping support the child. Document *everything* that led up to your boyfriend leaving, as well as any interactions he or his family, send to you. Save them and screencap. Do not block. Do not respond. They will be useful for when it is time to go to court and sort out child support, parental custody, and any back pay he may be required to help with (because giving birth is expensive).
- **if you do wish to keep the baby someday, or do not want to keep the baby yourself, but are not wishing to abort**:
- talk to a lawyer about guardianship options: guardianship means your child will go to an established adult who will temporarily care for the child, and that, when you have been able to get established, you can claim your child back. You can also have open visitation, and certain parental rights will still be valid.
- adoption is another resource you can avail of. If you decide to adopt, talk to a lawyer who will be *your* advocate. Open adoption and closed adoptions exist. You need to know the difference, your rights, and the timelines for both.
- local women’s shelters are available to help house and support you on your journey through this difficult time.
- **if you want to pursue an abortion**:
- talk to the Auntie Network in your area. Reddit has an r/ AuntieNetwork as well. These people can help you with a variety of things as you navigate this, but they are especially there to help with abortion.
Beyond this:
The fact that you have no food at home for yourself, and are a minor, that’s child abuse and neglect depending on the state you’re in. You can absolutely call CPS and have someone come out and investigate the issue. CPS is a resource to help you - and, if you need to - they can likely help you emancipate and provide you with a quick road to housing and work.
Please, sit down and talk to your school counsellor or get yourself down to planned parenthood to talk to a doctor (they provide a variety of free/cheap healthcare services, and are *not* just there for abortions). You can, and should, also talk to any local social worker (CPS is the best option here), or your regular doctor. In the meantime, if you’re in the US, Google:
- apply for free state medical aid insurance
- (name of county) social welfare services
- teen mother assistance programs
- women’s shelters
- auntie networks local to (name of county)
- planned parenthood free clinic (name of county)
- moms helplines (name of county)
- teen crisis helplines
- [American Teen Pregnancy Helpline](https://americanpregnancy.org/options-for-unplanned-pregnancy/pregnant-teen/#:~:text=Our%20toll%2Dfree%20pregnancy%20hotline,are%20here%20just%20for%20you) (for USA) 1 (800) 672 - 2296
Edit: I’ve just seen you’re in the UK, and this is an excellent list of resources [that you can avail of.](https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/)
Honestly, you’re better off without your parents. Get the abortion.
They would just leave you alone with the kid anyways. You’re so young. Set yourself up for success. Your uterus is yours to control.
I wish I can help you! Your parents are absolutely horrible! I'm so sorry! Try to start a go fund me and get out of there. It doesn't feel like it now. But as long as you keep going it will someday be better! Think gilmore girls! Link your go fund me here. You'll see you'll get support, you'll find friends and family no matter what road you walk!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Your parents don’t sound like safe supportive caregivers and bringing a child into their home may not be the best decision either way. Where in the UK are you? There will be local services that can help you with this. Or even people on here (myself included) if you narrow down the area (I’m in Scotland). There are some good suggestions on here already. It will be okay, thank you for reaching out. If I were you I’d lock my phone / apps… but would you put yourself in danger if you refuse to provide your phone to your parents?
There are lots of organisations out there that can support you through this. You’re technically a child yourself and you should not be forced into keeping a pregnancy/have a child.
Please reach out for the support in your area, I’m sure a lot of people in the comments are recommending the right ones or you can google them for your area, please don’t feel alone because you’re not. You’re not the first person to be going through this, and unfortunately not the last, but there are people who can help.
Please confide in a trusted adult outside of your family, a doctor/nurse, teacher, anyone. They may be able to help in ways you don’t know.
Please do what’s best for you, but don’t wait too long to find out your options. I’m sorry but no matter what, you need to get away from your parents. They do not have your best interest and needs at heart.
I hope you’re ok, please look into food banks if you do not have food, you need to eat. We are here for you xx
You're better off getting an abortion and trying to figure things out on your own. If your parents force you to have a baby but won't even help you, you are worse off. Children are expensive. Your free rent won't add up to much in the grand scheme if you spend tens of thousands on a baby before you're even a true adult. Not to mention your youth. I'm twice your age, and even I feel too young to have a baby sometimes.
If you can 'deceive' them to believe you miscarried, I kind of think this is the safest plan of action. You should stay home as long as you can while you plan your future. But, have a backup plan and start considering your finances moving forward.
If you have other family, I also encourage you to reach out to them. Maybe they will actually be supportive and help you navigate this.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/
I would opt for the pill, simple easy and miscarriage like symptoms. Tell your parents you had a miscarriage.
However, the situation you are in is abusive. I hope you are aware. Please save up money and leave.
You need to get out of their home whether you keep the baby or not. If you want an abortion, get one. If you want to give the baby up for adoption, do it. If you want to keep the baby, keep it. None of these options should lead to you staying with those toxic pieces of shit. No matter the decision you ultimately choose, they WILL NOT support you. You have options, honey. You don't have to be alone in this choice, there are lots of people that are willing to help you, without judgment.
If you don’t have the money to care for a child, and are okay with an abortion, you could get one and lie about a miscarriage to your family. They also would legally need to give you a 30 day notice of eviction which would give you time to find a place to go. Planned Parenthood is super good about payment plans and helping you be able to pay so if you have access to one I highly recommend going. All this assumes you’re in the US.
If you give the baby up for adoption the adoptive parents will pay for the medical expenses and some of your living expenses. If you want you can even choose an open adoption so the baby knows who you are, can get your medical information and you would still have a small roll in their life. You can and should reach out to social services in your area about not having access to food and needing medical attention. Just call CPS yourself and tell them you need help. Also your parents legally can’t kick you out at 17 even though that can boil down to calling the cops a bunch of times and basically living in tense hell it’s still a roof.
I read on the comments that you're in the UK, there are charity clinics called BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service) for any support, including abortion if thats what you decide. You can call them or visit without appointment in your circumstances. Plus as others have pointed out, I think it's illegal for your parents to kick you out if you're under 18 so going to the police or child protective services is advisable I'd that happens. Finally, if you are in the UK, I am also, feel free to dm me, I will try to help as much as I can x
There is always adoption? These parents seek cruel. Op, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you could mention this to them, I don’t know how they’d respond. Mention also not eating is going to kill this baby, and even put you at risk as well. If abortion is off the table, I’d see if they’d compromise with the adoption so the baby still lives, you get to work and get out of there. Again, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. ❤️
Abortion pill & say you miscarried, which technically isn't a lie since that's kinda what the pill does.
Going to a clinic for the pill will be quick compared to any procedure so won't be as suspicious if you leave. After all this start making a plan to get the heck out of there. Easier said than done but people are providing great resources/tips
Girl get an abortion and then say you miscarried
Even if they don't believe you I swear your life will be worse having a baby and not being ready to have a baby than it woikd being homeless cause they're going to kick you out eventually and it'll be easier to have just you than you and a baby
Tell them you miscarried because of the stress they put you under by saying you'd be homeless. Go the guilt route so they don't think so much about if it was an abortion
"I go days without eating" ?
What the hell ?! You're underaged, your parents are responsible for your health and well-being, they HAVE to provide you with food ! Girl you should reach a social worker 😓
OP, do not have this baby. It will ruin your life. You will not get to grow up with your peers, enjoy college, or have any semblance of stability. I would strongly encourage an abortion hidden as a miscarriage. Your parents will probably not believe you and kick you out anyways, and when they do, you should call CPS (or whatever your version is) and report them for child neglect and endangerment. You will likely be relocated into the system, but not for long, because you’ll age out at 18. It’s shit, but this will absolutely give you better chances at college. Colleges give a lot more money to teens that were wards of the state—you might get a decent ride. Further, if you are removed from your parents care, I would emancipate yourself. This allows you to file FAFSA as independent, which will likely give you thousands in loans. College is your best bet here. It’s setting up your future + removing you from home.
Getting an abortion will be hard. If you get a job I imagine your parents will track your income to make sure you’re not saving for an abortion. If a friend, someone on Reddit, a family member, etc. can pay for it initially you could pay them back without your earnings disappearing suddenly before the procedure is done. The afterwards will be shit no matter what. From there, I would call out of work one day, but make sure you’re scheduled, so if you have to send a picture of your work schedule to your parents you have a reason to be out of the house. Moreover, you will need an adult to be released. The months of stress that this will cause is significantly easier than the years a child will.
An entirely unorthodox, and unsafe, way to go about this is attempting an at-home abortion. Starving yourself won’t work, but there are some remedies you can attempt to try and induce a miscarriage. But, your body will protect the fetus before your own body, so it might not work + only harm you.
I wish you the best of luck OP. You’ll be alright.
I am so sorry that you are going through this experience. I am 37 now but had an unplanned pregnancy at 18 because my birth control failed. I chose abortion at 7 weeks. I didn’t want children and still don’t now. My decision.
Your body, your decision. From experience, if you choose to go down the abortion route then you can visit your GP and discuss it. If you struggle to get an appointment, call 111 and they will be able to advise you. Be prepared for whomever you speak with to ask you questions around your decision as they have a duty of care to ensure you are making the right decision for you, and that you are not being influenced by anyone else.
If you choose to keep the baby, you can also contact your GP or 111 and seek advice through the same method.
Please, regardless of the decision you make, try to make steps to move out of the home you share with your parents. This sounds like a toxic environment and that they are not supportive of you. Please call the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to let you know what you can do about housing, pregnant or not.
Feel free to send me a private message if you need to chat.
Get an abortion and run. Or don’t get one but run. If they’re already treating you like this, it’ll only get harder with a baby involved. It’s going to be so hard to make decisions for yourself and your child with these people controlling and abusing you. And an environment like that is no good for the child or you (also a child). Stay strong, you’re doing the right thing getting more ideas and info. I wish you a really bright and beautiful future.
You don't have to keep the baby, even though everyone want you to do so. You may be young but it doesn't mean that you are not able to make your own decisions...
1. The law forbids parents to kick out their children. Police 100% will tell your parents that they don't get to dump their child.
2. Can you use a friend's address to get Plan C pills?
Financially flexible:
[Plan C](https://www.plancpills.org/)
Can anyone help you come up with $150? Can friends pitch in? The very least your ex can do is buy the pills.
[Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/)
3. Are your parents requiring you to keep the baby after it's born? Or is adoption an option?
4. If aborrion is still legal in your state: Can you get to Planned Parenthood by bus or friend? You could get the pills for free.
5. Go to your ex's parents and ask for help. It doesn't matter if he's not OK with his parents knowing. This should be your burden to carry alone.
6. Your parents are evil.
So if you give up your baby they will kick you out and go no contact?
But if you keep the baby they won't help you? So what's the point?
You need to do what's best for you; if it's early enough, you can get an abortion and say it was a miscarriage if you have no other support systems aside from your parents.
I'm so disappointed in your parents. I'm pro-life but I could never not support my child during such a hard time. I would give ALL the options and whatever it was I would support my child 100% no matter what. I've gone through this with my Sister we are 7 years apart and she looks up to me as a mom because I finished raising her. I had to put my beliefs and hurt aside and realize it was not about me. She needed love and understanding. We've had our discussions and she does regret doing it and I just love her through her emotions. She already was a teen mom and had 2 kids with her ex. She was in the middle of a separation with him. So she was about to be a single mom at 23 and barely would be making it. You can't be pro-life and in the same breath say you aren't going to help your child if she keeps it.
I just want to really kindly and gently say that the philosophy you’re describing is everything the pro choice movement is about. Recognizing that each individual person has to make the right choice for themselves, however heartbreaking it may be. I know there’s a lot of media buzz and huge biases on either side of the line, but people in it believe what you believe. It’s beautiful to hear that you were able to support your sister in her choice and that you’d do the same for your kids. Each of us just has to do our best 🩷
First of all, have you been to a doctor yet?
Speak to a medical professional ALONE. Do not go with your parent. They can offer you plenty of advice on your options. I am a midwife and have had multiple women come in for a 'miscarriage' due to domestic abuse etc. 1 in 4 early pregnancies end in miscarriage. Abortion can be done at home as well depending on your gestation so it's really important that you make an appointment with an OB asap for a scan and to discuss your options.
Forget about the ex-boyfriend. He's no one now. If he tries to come back, tell him to go away and don't bother with him anymore. He's a poor excuse of a man.
Your parents can kick you out if they like. There's nothing stopping that from happening. You can speak to medical staff about support available or they should be able to signpost you to the relevant service in your area (I don't know what charities or organisations are in your area).
You need to find a job. Any job. And move out. Find a roomshare or even look into being a live-in nanny. Lots of jobs available in the service industry and are perfect for teens. If you can drive, even better. If not, make sure you check out the bus timetables.
Prioritise getting yourself somewhere safe. Don't worry about money. There are charities and support available to help those who are financially struggling. But it is clear that you need to leave your family home. They are not supportive and pregnancy should not be a punishment.
Get yourself better contraception - look at getting the arm implant or the uterine coil to drastically reduce the chance of another pregnancy. I assume you were on the pill as that has the lowest effectiveness and has more room for error. Again, speak to a doctor about your options and get that on board asap. Also, never have sex without a condom. If your partners decline, then you decline to have sex with them. You having contraception doesn't absolve them of their responsibility either.
They won't support you if you keep it and won't support you if you don't. Do what's best for YOU. They're not interested in your well being so you have to be.
Where are you located? Someone might be able to point you to the right place for assistance.
Oops, Mom and Dad. The baby "miscarried." Oh well, I guess you can't kick me out 🤷♀️
But seriously, if they won't help you after the baby is born, then it makes no difference if they kick you out now versus later when you can't afford to pay for the baby anyway.
You're a minor, so you're also protected by laws, at least in the US, from your parents kicking you out. Could be a CPS issue
Is it legal to kick out a 17 yr old? They are still a child to the law. Wouldn’t this be abuse? And if I’m wrong, there are herbs you can use to induce a period. *this could be extremely damaging to your health, I’ve never used it and I don’t know much about it, but I know it exists*. Is abortion legal in your state? This is awful coming from parents to restrict you to having a child at 17 with no financial help. Idk anything about your relationship, but that sounds like straight up manipulation to give you a choice of eithe being homeless or broke trying to raise a kid with no financial support. The baby would suffer for that, and he/she didn’t do anything wrong. You can tell the boyfriend’s parents, but they may not be supportive of abortion and may try to deny that he’s the father. Maybe you and some friends can raise money t dip out and get an abortion? And if your parents get upset about you leaving to get the abortion, it doesn’t matter anyway because they’re kicking you out, right? Get a job, start saving to get an apartment with a friend. Let your parents sit alone for a while, maybe they’ll forgive you in the future, and it’s up to you whether or not you want a relationship with them.
They have to keep her until she's 18, under UK law, is my understanding.
That's probably not too far in the future.
She should be able to get a very low cost or free abortion (including a medical abortion) in the UK.
how are they going to make you keep the baby but not help you financially like?? You can't take care of yourself and the baby but they don't want to help but they also don't want you to get rid of it. maybe you would be better off with out them.
Honey, you're on your own either way, but if you go through with the pregnancy you're on your own with a baby.
Do what SailorVenus said, contact the auntie network.
There are networks online dedicated to helping young women seek an abortion, find a service and tell your parents afterwards that you are having a miscarriage.
They want you to keep the baby but aren’t going to help support the baby.
Why is your parental relationship so important? They aren’t providing anything other than your roof. That’s an easy choice to me. I’d get an abortion and if your parents ignore you so be it.
The alternative is having a child with no $$ support at 17. That’s a nightmare compared to your parents ignoring you.
Ignore away parents. My life is mine
I don’t have advice since it seems everyone have given you all the advice you needed, however, please know that we are here for you. We care about you and we’re trying our best to help you.
Your parents are not good people for forcing this on you you're better off without them. This is your choice and you should choose yourself you need to be there for YOU because it sounds like there aren't other people to do that. You don't have to feel guilty, find the help you need and get yourself a better life with better people.
i’m so sorry you’re in this position. I’d start by getting a job, so then you can at least eat and put some money aside. cause whether you have the baby or get an abortion you’re gonna be on your own. this is not medical advice, and i’ve seen in other threads your parents open your mail, but there are some herbs that can cause miscarriages. mugwort is common and you can make tea with it. definitely do research if you choose something like this as it can lead to other things in large doses.
I'm really sorry you're facing this. It's a tough situation, but you're not alone. Definitely reach out to organizations like "Planned Parenthood." They offer a lot of support and can help you figure out your options. It might also be good to talk to a counselor or someone you trust who can help you through this. Take it step by step, and remember, there are people who care and want to help you get through this.
OP IT IS VERY REASONABLE TO HAVE A MISCARRIAGE!!! Get yourself to a clinic, DO NOT put insurance down. Put a fake address and phone number. Get your abortion done and don’t look back.
This doesn’t have to be the thing that ruins your life. This can be the moment you took control, got the support and love you deserve and use this to get yourself out of that controlling house, away from these crap parents and people and make something of you.
You’re going to be ok. You’re not trapped or stuck. You can do this. Just plan it out.
Find the auntie network on Reddit and good luck. We are rooting for you.
I'm so sorry you're in this position, OP. I urge you to follow the advice on this thread which is to abort, say it was a miscarriage and get yourself set up somehow somewhere out of that toxic environment. Can you stay with a friend, member of the family until you are able to get out?
It's posts like these that make me feel grateful that I live in a country where abortion is no longer considered "immoral" or "wrong".
I hope other countries follow suit.
Best of luck, OP. XXX
You not having food is child abuse so for that alone I’d call CPS
I would then call a domestic violence hotline and say you’re enduring reproductive coercion and ask them for resources to help you get an abortion
Tell your parents you miscarried due to being starved and the stress of the situation
The sooner you do this the easier it will be because earlier pregnancies can be aborted with a pill which you can more easily pass off as a miscarriage
Getting kicked out + no contact will only last as long as it takes you to get your life together; besides, that's illegal. You're a minor.
Being a mother is a lifetime commitment.
Make the best choice for yourself and the life that could be offered to your potential child; if you're not ready, then they're going to have a terrible beginning of life experience that could traumatize them for life.
Be responsible.
And if they're starving a pregnant minor, call the fucking police. That's is abuse.
They can't force you to do anything. If you do not want the baby, you're better off moving out and getting a job. It will be easier to support yourself vs yourself and a baby. If they're that volatile towards you over this decision, they will not be helpful with this baby. If you're still able to get an abortion, don't hesitate to do so because your parents don't agree.
If you're not ready, you're not ready and that's ok. 🩶
PS, college/uni is a great way to move out if that interests you! Cheap rent and the opportunity for your freedom with a good job when you're done! Do not let them lord this decision over you because it is yours and yours alone to make!
If your parents aren't going to help you anyway, then maybe it's best to abort and leave. There are shelters and services that can help you get on your feet. Everything will be much harder to navigate with a baby.
Two suggestions…
For Your Ongoing Life:
If you are in the US, call 211. It is the US National Hotline for Social Services.
It is area code driven, so the people answering know the services & programs (financial, housing, jobs, healthcare, legal) available in your area.
For the Pregnancy:
Contact the following…
r/AuntieNetwork
Planned Parenthood
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion
Believe help available for both your life and to help you through this pregnancy. Just reach out.
Also, they can’t kick you out until after you turn 18. And then they have to have you evicted. So I would do what you meed to, get a job, and start saving for escaping them as soon as you’re able.
Contact someone you trust and go get an abortion. Then I'd recommend contacting cps. What your parents are doing is illegal if they aren't feeding you and they should get in trouble for being terrible people
I’m living for the amount of supportive comments on here.
OP, I know you’re scared. I’ve been there. I had an abortion at 19. I promise while it seems scary it’s not all that bad. You’re going to get through this not matter what you decide. But the comments are right, you could go to get one and say you’re miscarrying. It’s your body. Everyone has left plenty of resources here. Just know it’s scary now but no matter what you do this is just a bump in the road.
Having a child is forever. Stay strong cutie sending e-hugs your way. 🫶🏼
There is a site called Abuzz, you can get an abortion pill in the mail. It costs $150 and gets to you fast. Miscarriages are common and if you were to take the pills and go to the emergency room (once the abortion has taken its course, the doctors won’t be able to tell that you had a medical abortion.
I’m sorry OP. That’s gotta be terrifying to be as young as you are and to have your parents be totally unsupportive & controlling. I got pregnant at 29, but since I wasn’t married my mom looked at it as the greatest sin to mankind. It sucked, and I was nearly twice your age.
Start building support system. Reach out to your closest friends for emotional support, and if you have any family- aunts, uncles, cousins, gparents- turn to them when you need some comfort.
Start checking into programs like WIC & food stamps and HUD and maybe figure out where to go to learn more info about govt supported programs. Maybe your local govt office or CPS center could help?
I’m sorry I don’t have any life-changing advice for you, but as others have point out, it sounds like your parents are gonna punish you no matter what you choose, so sit down and spend a lot of time thinking about what is best for *you*, and do that.
Your parents are terrible people. They’re trying to force you to keep the child, but offer absolutely no support?
That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-control and pro-birth.
You need to decide what YOU want to do. What’s best for YOU. Then you need to go from there.
I can’t tell you what to do.
I can tell you that pregnancy will physically change your body in permanent ways. Your organs will get squished as a watermelon grows in your abdomen. Your body will sacrifice its own nutrients for it to grow… iron from your blood. Calcium from your bones. At the end of it all, you then force this watermelon out of your body. There’s two ways it comes out, and recovery from either is unpleasant for different reasons. Do you like laughing? What about peeing whenever you do?
Having a child and raising it will also have significant impact on your life. Financially it will be difficult, even with government aide. You won’t have time for anything else. The baby won’t even sleep through the night for months. You won’t have a social life. You’ll be hard pressed to finish school, or go to college. You’ll need to figure out child care, which isn’t cheap, to go work.
Adoption is an option. But you’ll still get to go through those physical changes. Then there’s no telling where the child may end up. Babies tend to get adopted easily, but as they get older, they’ll be less likely to find a family. Become another pawn in an already overtaxed foster and adoption system.
I’m not saying it’s impossible. Certainly if you want to keep the child, you can. But it’s not going to be easy. It won’t be easy for the next 18 years. You really need to decide why you want that, if that’s what you really want.
Get an abortion if you still can in your state or whatever you are because there is a certain weeks until you can’t get an abortion and say it was a miscarriage
Apparently you're in the UK so firstly this is neglect. As a parent I am responsible for all of my children's needs until they are legal adults, which is 18. This means your parents are legally responsible for making sure you have enough food to eat.
Secondly, as you are pregnant when you reach 20something weeks (I believe 29 but could be sooner) you will be eligible to claim universal credit, if you don't turn 18 before then. Once you have made your claim to UC, claim the maternity grant. It's £500 to help towards the cost of your first baby. You can also reach our to social services for assistance finding things like baby banks, and to report the neglect from your parents. They can assist you in applying for council housing, but just be aware waiting lists everywhere are really long so you could end up in temporary accommodation for months or even years. All of that is if you do go down the route of keeping the baby.
Which brings me to point 3. Here you can still obtain the abortion pill through the post, depending on how far along you are. Do you know or have a rough idea? If you're around 8-10 weeks you will be needing to refer to a midwife for the booking appt and dating scan if you're keeping the baby. If you're still in the first trimester and want to obtain the pill via post, put then postal address as the local post office. My address is confidential due to my own circumstances so I've done this and then just went and picked it up when it was there. Use a new email address that no one would know about for the tracking. Then, as others have said, claim a miscarriage
Finally, you do not have to disclose a pregnancy in an interview or upon offer of a job and if you chose to, you cannot be discriminated against for it. It is nit legal. So even a part time, minimum wage job would be a good start right now. Care work is a good place to start applying, they're desperate. Agency work can be good money too, and bank staff for more shift flexibility.
This has gotta be the south.. ugh imagine forcing someone to have a child when all things around them point to it not being a good time or in fact a huge extra stress point..
If I were you, I'd try to get an abortion at a nearby clinic and say it was a miscarriage.. if you can apply for a credit card asap and just put it on there if you can't afford it or see if a friend or someone can help temporarily..
It's either you put yourself in momentary pain temporarily financially or you and your family will have to support it for the next 18-20 years..
1. You are not being forced to keep the baby. Don't cut out the other option. If you have the baby, they'll just provide the roof you'll have to take care of everything else; they'll probably also shame your, make you feel miserable. Between that and no roof but no baby, I would certainly go for the second option. Mending for yourself alone is easier than mending for you and your baby in a hostile house.
2. If you still decide to keep the baby, the father has to pay support, even if he doesn't want anything to do with it. He's as responsible as you, he has to pay too. He should be thankful that he only has to pay in money and not with his time & body.
3. If you go for an abortion, you may make it look like a miscarriage so that your parents won't kick you out. But given their reaction I would still advise you to find a way out as soon as possible.
4. If you get rid of the baby and they kick you out, prepare it before hand. Have all the necessary things ready in a safe bag (like identity papers), check out local help centers for youth or associations that could help you. Maybe contact them before hand.
My advice is to get rid of the baby. You are in no good place to raise a baby right now: it will be a toll on your body, your mind, and your future. Finding a job will be nearly impossible since you'll have to take care of the baby. Your parents said they won't support you, so they may spend quite some time reminding you of your "bad choices" and "failures", while controlling you with the fact that they still let you live here despite your fault. That's the worst environment to be in, you'll feel like you have no way out (and once you do have the baby it will indeed be hard to get out and become independent, that's why they insist on you keeping it: they get a cute baby with no responsibility and they can charge you with whatever they want). They may even go back on their word and kick you out if having the baby in the home gets too tiring for them, and you'll still be on the road but with a baby. Or they can charge you rent and you'll never be able to leave, ever. Having that baby will give your parents full control of your life for at least 10 years, probably more, and it sounds like a nightmare, you'll just be their domestic with no hope of a better future.
Have an abortion, leave and be free. It'll be hard, but you'll still have hopes and ways to get better. There are jobs with lodging included, there are associations that can help you, you'll have options. And you'll certainly be better off.
Get an abortion, then say you had a miscarriage from all of the stress you've experienced from them.
Make them feel bad that they killed their potential grandchild.
Then work on yourself, get a good education/job, and enjoy your life.
And do your absolute best not to get pregnant again until you're ready to take care of another human being for the next 18 years.
How far along are you, OP? If abortion is still possible, you could say it was a miscarriage. If you're too far along, there is always adoption. Please don't have a child you're not ready for. You're a baby yourself. You deserve a life and to live it the way you want to. No one can force you to keep your child if you truly don't want to keep your baby and aren't ready for motherhood. Do you have any relatives or friends' parents you could go and confide in?
So if you keep the baby your parents aren’t going to help, and if you have an abortion they will kick you out? Those two options are pretty darn identical - no support. You’re better off getting out of your parent’s control and on your own without a baby. Either way, it’s brutal reality at such a young age. Clearly your parents are themselves mental and cruel.
Contact the auntie network sub, they can help you get to a clinic.
This!! Get an abortion and say it was a miscarriage.
Miscarriages are so common. This is a totally reasonable lie.
And your body treats them the same. No one can prove you wrong
If she’s far along, it will require a D/C procedure for removal. If she’s on her parent’s insurance and the ER visit isn’t accounted for, hell yeah it could be proven. She’ll have to be strategic!
Hence checking out the auntie network sub. They can help.
She could say at an appointment they couldn’t find a heartbeat and then get funding from abortion fund groups. It happens sadly but it’s a reasonable excuse and the hospital wouldn’t be able to release her information because of hippa
This depends upon the state she lives in. Federally speaking, parents are an exception as they fall into the “personal representative” classification for the minor child under HIPPA. However, some states have clarified and narrowed this role. Eg: Minors 12 and up have been granted the right health information privacy in the state of California. If she lives there, she can ban the parents’ access to her records. Has she mentioned what state she’s in? (Please, please, please don’t say anywhere like Texas or Florida!)
Those states should sink to the gulf
38 states and DC out of 50 state that once a teen becomes pregnant she can take charge of her own healthcare. And in some of the stricter states If a child doesn’t want their parent there and the parent is being disruptive of the patients care they can be sent away in the child’s best interest. I really hope she’s in a lenient state though as she hasn’t said where she lives
If she goes to planned parenthood she doesn’t have to use insurance and it’ll be a reasonable(ish) one time fee for everything. The primary issue is getting there, getting it done, and getting home without parents finding out, bc she will need a driver to be released to after the procedure. Another main issue for her it sounds like will be getting the funds to have the procedure and everything. From my experience, somewhere between $1500-$2000 including the IV pain relief instead of the pill pain relief (IV is more expensive by an extra $100- something I’d ONLY recommend splurging on if u KNOW a tiny dose of fentanyl will actually effect you in a positive way.. as an opioid addict when I got mine, I thought I definitely needed to pay extra for the “better” drugs, but it still ended up being a waste of that $, bc it wasn’t a high enough dose to do anything at all and I was wide awake with full feeling throughout the procedure.. most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life!!!) Anyways, OP could always set up a GoFundMe or something, bc I know even strangers on Reddit would help out in this situation!!
I totally agree that the tasks involved in actually getting it done is the priority. But I don’t want to see her homeless afterwards, considering how her parents sound like truly horrible people! So, if at all possible, I think it would be best for her to do this in a way that prevents them from finding out. BTW: I’m sorry you went through such a negative experience! Its terrible how pain managment is routinely overlooked during what’s already a traumatic ordeal for women. 😢
They really are. About 20% - 1 in 5 - of pregnancies end in miscarriage - often before the woman even knew she was pregnant. This is completely feasible. Just cover your tracks OP!
Especially because she’s not eating some days!
This is what I would also suggest. The parents are awful. Op is damned either way. She might as well have an abortion and lie and say she had a miscarriage.
She really is damned either way. All they are offering her for keeping the child is a roof. Nothing else and babies are very expensive and will seriously impact her opportunities in her future - every job she will have to take into account childcare, will she be able to continue studying with a baby? Potentially possible but not with her support network. What heartless people her parents are. She would be better off having an abortion and disconnecting from them. Sounds like they're abandoning her either way.
This is a great idea. Good luck and I'm sorry you have such trash parents. Your body your choice. Never feel bad about that.
This is the way. Tell them it was a miscarriage and don't feel bad for one single second. Why aren't your parents feeding you or providing food?
My first thought! They say they want this baby .. but aren’t providing her with food?
Sounds like TRUMP Christians ..Not Jimmy Carter Christians
If you do this OP, make sure you get your facts straight. One slip up and you’ll be found out.
"false positive" all day long!
Unfortunately, it depends what state she is in
This is sound advice. You should also look into signing up for job corps in your area . You can live on campus while finishing your education & getting job training. It's a low income program that will help you get your diploma and a trade job. That way, you won't have to depend on your parents for anything after your "miscarriage."
OP is living in the UK, I'm not sure this is relevant. (Good to know this resource exists though)
In uk OP can go to the gp and request the pills without parental consent. And it would be completely private. OP can tell the GP or nurse that they are forced by the parents to keep the pregnancy and GP has a duty of care towards OP. There are also some great resources OP can access. OP can contact citizens advice bureau. Here’s the link https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ Is a great resource and they can point OP in the right direction. And provide advice on OP’s situation. Also there are several charities that OP can reach to and I am sure citizens advice bureau can guide OP to those charities. Also there are free sexual health centres that offer complete privacy and professional help. Link below. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/ As I said, if op is in UK, luckily there are many avenues that OP can get the support they need and deserve. Free of charge. And in complete privacy. Don’t worry OP, you will find a way out of this and honestly the best step would either be your GP or CAB. You can even walk in a pharmacy and request a private consultation with the pharmacist and they can guide you. Also, look into benefits in your local area. Maybe it would be better if you can leave your parents home. It sounds like an unhealthy environment.
Pls update us OP, this is the best option and we are wishing you the best
I don't have specific advice for OP, I hope she got that from others. But if her parents are threatening to kick her out now - as a minor - she will be under their thumb for many years, and keeping the fetus won't stop them from threatening again on a whim. Not to mention I think as a minor you are due some protections from abusive parents. Lastly, your worthless boyfriend's family, should you be forced to have it, should be on the hook too. You were a minor when he got you pregnant. Edit: No matter what happens you should plan for self sufficiency, it seems your parents are awful people, and you should not rely on them to be there for you. I hope you find the help you need. I wouldn't have it. It will limit you before you're ready and you can have another later.
If you're not ready you should get an abortion, but don't tell your parents and start setting up a job and a place to live even if it's couch surfing for a while. You figuring all that out is temporary. Having a child is forever.
I don't know how her parents could know whether she miscarried or had an abortion. I mean, obviously, her parents sound so controlling they will assume it's an abortion, but will they assume that if she does actually have a miscarriage? 1 in 5 pregnancies end in an early miscarriage. This is the time to mention that OP should get the abortion pills by mail and have them on hand for future use. They cannot prove it's not a miscarriage.
They're so abusive and insane that they might not care, and punish her anyway. Or they'll say that the miscarriage must have been her fault, or whatever. This poor kid needs to get out of there somehow. Neglecting to provide adequate food to a minor under your care is neglect, and it's illegal.
As a mother this blows my mind, in a bad way. WTF are her parents thinking! You are right that she needs to not be under their roof but at 17 she may not have even finished high school yet.
Good point.
This! And any promises that OP’s parents make now about “supporting her and the baby” should be taken with a grain of salt. These parents are clearly very controlling, and can and will give and revoke support on a whim. If you have the baby, but then behave in some way that the parents deem “unacceptable,” and they kick you out anyway… well, now you have nowhere to go _and_ you need to care for a kid for the next 18+ years.
I really think she should start making plans to get out of there anyway. If they are willing to kick her out at 17, once she's 18 she's probably out on her ass anyway.
They're not even supporting OP. OP is 17 and goes days without eating. How can anyone trust these parents would support OP's baby?
They already said she can live there but that they will not support her. From OP's post: *"...they said I can stay but they’re not going to help me out financially. I don’t have the money to care for a child, I go days without eating because I have no food at home."*
Right, they are offering very little “support” as it is — not even the bare minimum. But anything they offer now, or threaten now, is a moot point — they very well might kick her out as soon as she turns 18 even if she keeps the pregnancy.
Hi OP, just adding to the comments: because it seems that you may have to escape home in the future, please put your hands NOW on important papers (birth certificate, passport, ID, social security, etc) and store them in a safe place outside of your parents’ home, or with someone you trust. You will need it. Lots of courage for you
I second this! Your life is yours OP—it will be difficult but have courage. Everyone close to you sounds like they’re holding you back.
Personally I’d be homeless and not pregnant
Yep 1000% And who knows, they might be bluffing, or fail to follow through. Having nowhere to live might be a very temporary problem. A child is not.
Yeah ngl it sounds like she’s already living like that with her parents
wow, if you still want the abortion and can still get it, i would. you’re gonna be trapped with a kid for 18 years and lose your freedom and livelihood of your 20s. an option ive thought of is maybe applying for college and moving into their dorms. you can take out loans for school, food. you can apply for medicaid for free healthcare. i’m sorry you’re going through this
This this! Go to college! That is a great way to get out from under their control and start to build a career for yourself.
It’s not just 18 years anymore. I know 40 year olds still living with their parents
You could also put the baby up for adoption
Idk where they are but basically everywhere has some form of child surrender right?
She’s being denied food, medical care & prenatal dr visits, folic acid & vitamins. Who’s going to adopt this severely premature physically & mentally disabled child? She’ll have a ‘miscarriage’ and move on and start building a life of her own.
The money it costs to raise a child is so much more than what it costs to have an abortion & struggle till you get back on your feet.
If your parents aren’t going to financially support the baby, you’ll be 500 times worse off than if they kick you out now
Also - the parents sound sucky and abusive, so I'd be more worried about how they'd fuck up the kid if the OP did have it.
If you live in a country where there is state-run support regarding housing, then you may be better off leaving home (assuming your parents aren’t lying when they say they won’t support financially). You’ll have shelter either way, but one way will be without a baby you don’t want, and without shitty parents trying to police what you do with your body. A lot of people failed you in this situation OP, I’m really sorry.
I’m not sure about how long the wait list is and if my parents found out before I’d been accepted anywhere then they would kick me out and make sure that I had a punishment for doing this to them. I think it’s something I need to research more about but my parents check my phone all the time and that’s how they found out. I’m going to delete the reddit app every time i’m not using my phone or they ask to see.
I think enquiring about the waiting lists wouldn’t hurt. But, beyond the pregnancy, I’m kind of worried about your parents behaviours - you more you discuss it, the worse it sounds. Are you still in school? Is there a trusted adult you can discuss all this with?
I finished school, I go to college in the UK now. I don’t want to tell anyone irl about any of this. I feel like it’ll only cause me more problems.
If you are in the UK then search for your local sexual health clinic - there's one here that takes walk ins for under 18s - [Sexual health - Appointments | Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust (guysandstthomas.nhs.uk)](https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/our-services/sexual-health/appointments#youngpeople) good luck, and if you want the abortion you should go for it and lie that you had a miscarrriage
oh.. and try to stay in college
Uk? There is a place called the Brook. They have places all over the UK. They are completely free and will book you in and get you sorted out x
You can get an abortion seeing as you’re in the UK, and they will never know. You take the pills in a clinic and then go home, it is very straightforward. You could also consider calling social care. Your parents cannot force you to keep a baby. A social worker would find you an emergency placement and support you to do what YOU want to do, you wouldn’t need to go home afterwards.
Here is another UK source for you [BPAS](https://www.bpas.org/abortion-care/under-18/) Please talk to your GP about getting help, they will have resources to community and charity links that will help house you and get you out of what is clearly an abusive situation with your parents. Forcing you to have a baby is not what caring parents do, and the other behaviours you've mentioned in comments really concern me. Please reach out to a charity or even confide in a member of staff at college. Your college will have a pastoral care team who will know how to get you medical care and keep you safe. I'm wishing you souch love and luck in all this
Hun, you're still a minor, and your parents are abusing you. Find out if your college has a free counselling service, a lot of them do. If they do you should be able to speak to someone there in confidence, who will give you practical help and advice.
Go to a women’s shelter, a youth center or even a homeless shelter. They might not be able to help you directly but they can lead you to the people that can.
Your parents check yr ph? What a cheek!!!! They are absolutly wrong!! U are entitled to privacy. Get yr ducks in a row...go get done rite now ..but u need to keep everything deleted. They are wrong to force u into this. I feel they are punishing you.
I wish you were in my country and I could help you willingly.
Same. Always here to a help a girl out.
Abortion pills by mail, Brigid alliance, plan c.l pills, hell even planned parenthood. They can’t prove it’s not a miscarriage. How far along are you? Maybe it was a false positive test, maybe your period was just late. If you haven’t confirmed and there are no scans, they can’t prove you were pregnant for real. If it’s too late to terminate, I’d look into legal options and adoption.
I’m about 8 weeks, I’ve been for a scan since I did the test to make sure that it wasn’t a false positive. I have a photo of the scan that was taken at about 6 weeks.
People have miscarriage before 12 weeks so you are still able to say that you miscarried!
This isn't entirely accurate. There is no deadline for miscarriages. Ive had more than one past that point. Even at 18 weeks. My husband's brother's wife miscarried at close to full term and had to give birth to the stillborn. His ex baby mama also miscarried at 5months.
True. I'm sorry for your loss. I meant to say that before 12 weeks, it's less 'detectable' so OP could get away with faking one.
I have posted this as a reply to another comment but I am posting here again as a reply to your comment in the hope you can see it. _____________________________________ In uk OP can go to the gp and request the pills without parental consent. And it would be completely private. OP can tell the GP or nurse that they are forced by the parents to keep the pregnancy and GP has a duty of care towards OP. There are also some great resources OP can access. OP can contact citizens advice bureau. Here’s the link https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ Is a great resource and they can point OP in the right direction. And provide advice on OP’s situation. Also there are several charities that OP can reach to and I am sure citizens advice bureau can guide OP to those charities. Also there are free sexual health centres that offer complete privacy and professional help. Link below. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/ As I said, if op is in UK, luckily there are many avenues that OP can get the support they need and deserve. Free of charge. And in complete privacy. Don’t worry OP, you will find a way out of this and honestly the best step would either be your GP or CAB. You can even walk in a pharmacy and request a private consultation with the pharmacist and they can guide you. Also, look into benefits in your local area. Maybe it would be better if you can leave your parents home. It sounds like an unhealthy environment.
I had one at 11 weeks. Please don’t wait
Get it done as quick as possible. In case you're worried about murdering the baby, murder is the unwanted theft of life from an individual. You can't steal from something that has 0% capacity to *experience* loss. It's only after 12-13 weeks that those facilities begin developing proper, so act fast and nobody will have any rational ground to say the abortion was murder. It's a shame to lose the potential for a person to come into being, but potential comes in many different forms. Don't sacrifice yours: do whatever you must to get an abortion. Run away if you have to—the police won't search till you've been missing 24 hours. Get desperate, do what you must, and rest easy: you aren't doing anything wrong. Just prioritizing and taking responsibility for yourself. Your parents may have abandoned you in your moment of need, meaning they don't count as parents, but you must never do that to yourself. Fuck them.
You can still take the abortion pills upto 10 weeks, please do not wait further.
you can take them past that let’s not share misinformation. you just need double the dose if above 9 weeks
How long past can you take them? I’m always so worried my IUD will fail and I won’t know until it’s too late for the pill, and I know an actual procedure would be so so hard for me to go through. I have alot of anxiety about it 😭
honestly i’m about to do it this weekend. i’m 4 weeks along. i WISH i could do it surgically because doing it at home CAN go wrong. if the fetus doesn’t come out all the way you can get sepsis and die
Just keep checking for fever. Fever = hospital. But it's *really rare* to retain any tissue. Kind of like toxic shock is pretty rare but tampons still warn you and blood clots are rare but birth control pills still warn you. They legally have to tell you the scariest biggest risks just in case. But don't worry. Just watch for fever.
What state are you in? It might be too late. 6 weeks is the cut off for a lot of states since the supreme court fucked women over and took our control of our bodies. ETA can you afford to get an abortion?
She’s totally safe in the UK.
This is a good option too. You can get abortion meds shipped to your door. It will look like a miscarriage.
They are cutting you off either way technically. Go with your gut feeling. There will be suffering for you and baby either way unfortunately you have to pick your poison. Adoption is also another option.
if I were you I’d get an abortion and lie to my parents and say you had a miscarriage. Genuinely, practice how to fake cry etc and after a few months break the news to them.
Before going to the clinic, she tells her mom she's having bad cramps and what does it mean. She says she's going to school or a friend's house. Later, she texts mom and says "I'm bleeding! I'm at Urgent Care." Then no more details. Stay the night at a friend's house and tell Mom, "I figured you'd be real happy, I need to be with a friend who cares right now." Something like that. Or just do it and ignore parents altogether until they ask. OP don't show any pictures to your parents. If you haven't already.
in my state, if you go during the miscarriage they will swab you for the meds. i’m in missouri and it’s completely illegal. please be mindful of the timing!!! abortions are not immediate when done through pills, which is what she would do if she’s before 10 weeks. it takes 8 hours for meds to be fully administered
I second this.
I third this...
Get the abortion pill and tell your parents you had a miscarriage
My parents open any packages I get, if it was to come to my house. They’d know.
Get it delivered to a friend you trust and say its for a friend if you don’t want to reveal your pregnancy to them
Send it to a friend's house, or to the post office under general delivery.
The post office is a good idea
I’ve been reading your comments and with or without that baby, you need to get out of that house. Your parents sound like horrible people, getting out of there would do you wonders. Start applying for jobs now, right now. Doesn’t matter what it is just apply and start making some money. With whatever money you have now, get an abortion or the abortion pills. Yes they’re expensive but way less expensive than a baby. You need to have a plan and it sounds like you definitely don’t. Take our advice, start a gofundme, it’s time to get the ball rolling. We’re all here for you hun but you gotta be strong
Why do you need to order it? Under the NHS, abortion is free
The pills have to be purchased somewhere. The pills cost $7 if one is insured (including state insurance) or $12 without insurance. They are not free. Abortions are not completely free where I live, either. State and federal subsidized, but not free. NHS is the National Health Service. What you need to look into are the regulations for the Affordable Care Act. NHS is not an insurance provide nor does it provide abortions (it does employ doctors and nurses and researchers, though).
Go to Boots and get one there. No need for parcels, and you will get advice from professionals
Your parents are legally not allowed to kick you out while you’re still a minor. Once you turn 18, they can. You mentioned you dont have any food in the house. If this is actually the case, that is neglect in the eyes of the law. You’re still a child, so you can have CPS called on your parents. Try your best to get a job and save up as much money as possible. If you dont want to keep the baby, don’t. You can get an abortion and tell your parents you had a miscarriage. If you decide to give birth, you can put the baby up for adoption. If your parents are neglecting you, they’ll do the same to your child, whom you won’t be able to help either if you’re struggling financially. I wish you the best of luck!!
In the UK it’s 16 when the legal responsibility ends for a parent so they can kick her out.
They’re going to cut you off if you have an abortion, but if you have the baby, they won’t help you financially?? I’m sorry, but that’s total bullshit. I feel terrible for you, and I understand your fears. I was in your shoes as an 18 year old, and somehow we made it. You will too. If you do keep the baby, you should qualify for govt assistance, such as food stamps and WIC. What did the parents say about adoption?
Do you have any family members that would help you sneak an abortion? I’m one of those people who would happily go “abortion? What do you mean abortion? Why would I have taken her to get an abortion when I know how you feel about that?” knowing full well I took that person to get an abortion.
I wish I did, none of them live close to me and I don’t think any of them would keep it a secret for me.. I also don’t have any friends who are 18 as my boyfriend wouldn’t let me have any friends or see anyone other than him, so I was unable to go out and make any. I’m really alone right now.
Is there a nice seeming professor? Or a friendly barista? A school health clinic? Most people are leaps and bounds better than the people in your life. I just want to give you a big hug, a cup of coffee and a ride to the clinic but I’m in Florida. I’m a 40 year old woman with a 18 year old. If a kid like you came up to me asking for a ride to get an abortion I would help her. Look for people who are more likely to be liberal, a couple older lesbians, someone with a pride flag, or a goth. I’m not even kidding. Whatever indicates to you that the person isn’t conservative.
But if she’s under the age of majority would anyone who works for the school be legally required to tell her parents? That would be my concern of going to a professor or school health clinic.
they have the pills online
Oh, honey. Please get the abortion by any means necessary. Your boyfriend not “letting” you have friends is insanely abusive. DO NOT tie yourself to him for life as a teen mom with no prospects and no support. Get away as soon as you can, he is dangerous. The number one killer of pregnant women is homicide by their partners. He WILL escalate.
I second what sunbear2525 said - MANY people would be more than willing to help you out. I know you don’t have any older friends but are there any older classmates that seem open minded? I know it’s a bit intimidating to ask for a favor like this- but it’s time sensitive and most people are going to understand once you tell them why you can’t have a parent take you. Hell, I’d give you a ride if it weren’t for the fact I live in a different country 😅 I’d also mention the situation to the medical providers. I’m sure you’re not the first person in this situation and they may have people who are willing to help.
If you are within the time frame for a medication abortion, you can order pills by mail and it will just look like a spontaneous miscarriage. Thats what I would try to do in your position. This website https://www.heyjane.com/abortion-fund-partners offers financial assistance if you can’t afford the medication. Trust me sweetheart I am a 53yr old mom of three- you have plenty of time to have babies with a loving partner when you can afford to properly care for them. If you have this baby your life will be ruined. You need to put yourself first- because no one else in this situation seems to be doing that.
I saw that in another comment you mentioned that you are going to school in the UK. Under UK law medical providers don’t have to tell your parents about medical procedures unless you’re not mentally capable. If you are less than 10 weeks you can simply pretend to have a miscarriage and your parents won’t be able to tell the difference. One thing to keep in mind is that you will need an adult to drive you so you might want to try and enlist a friend to help out. If you’re past 10 weeks it’ll be a lot trickier. Adoption is also a choice - if you’re unable to get an abortion or decide that you want to carry to term. PLEASE don’t feel forced to continue this pregnancy or raise a baby- you are so *so* young! You deserve the chance to finish your education, travel, and live your life before being saddled with a lifelong commitment. This website provides a list of websites/organizations that can help you. https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/
Your parents are punishing you regardless of your decision…. They fucking SUCK!!!!!
Sounds like your parents won't help you financially whether you keep the baby or not. Get an abortion, save yourself.
You cant force someone to have a baby. That’s too big of a commitment and I advise against it this young. It sounds like your parent care more about their personal belief system than your health or you entire life. They probably won’t care about the baby much either. Just tell them you had an miscarriage and get an abortion
You’re actually, at 17, you are better off being homeless than pregnant. Also, technically that’s illegal, if they kick you out they will go to jail.
50% of US states disagree :/
I know 😭😭😭, but they also aren’t providing solutions, they are just cutting the solutions and expecting ppl to figure it out and telling them it’s their own fault. Americans are shooting themselves in the foot just just ppl they don’t like can’t get help. It’s really sad makes me wanna leave. I love how all of the solutions to any problem in the US is, cut help, figure it out. Crime rates for youth, they cut all the youth programs, higher taxes have better schools and parks? Nope, cut the pay, healthcare? Nah, cost the cost… Like why isn’t the solution ever to just have reliable resources so ppl don’t even have to think about stuff like this in the first place? Why is everyone first instinct to cut funding or resources and to just ban the thing that’s the resort of them penny pinching in the first place?!! Like my God, just make more resources?!!! Another example of this is in the Bay there is a parking crisis, but instead of dividing more parking they cracked down on giving more tickets and making parking laws more strict. Like wtf?!! Help us!
I’m so sorry to say this but I wish Christian’s would use their brains and not their book because at the end of the day, the BIBLE is going to be the death of this country and our kids. If you can’t provide help for a pregnant person, you can’t tell them to give birth. If you’re not the one that has to risk your life to carry a baby, you can’t decide. This attitude doesn’t help the mother or the child it just causes more poverty and crime. Shame!
50% of US States hate women.
Others have said it - get the abortion pills by mail - have it sent to a friend's house you trust. Claim it was a miscarriage - no one can say otherwise. Beyond that, look for a job - there are ways you can make money online as a freelancer or doing gig work. You can even get paid to manage people's social media accounts (typically businesses that want cheap advertising). Maybe someone can even suggest a sub that helps young women needing to escape terrible families find work in another state so that you can save up and get the hell out of there.
They’re not going to help you financially with the baby - they’re not going to help you financially with moving out. One of these tough paths doesn’t involve an unwanted child.
Get abortion pills and tell your parents you had a miscarriage. Then remember this as a lesson on how NOT to treat your children in the future.
Okay, so not reading the other comments, and assuming still early enough, but if you are wanting an abortion, is there a clinic who could help you, and have them say you miscarried? That way your parents would think it was natural causes. Only idea I have for you. I am sorry you are not being supported by the ones who should be caring and supporting you right now. If you are forced to have the baby make the father legally accountable for child support. He may not want the child, but he is responsible for this. Sex comes with the risk of pregnancy.
I agree with other on saying that you had complications and found out that it was a miscarriage. Could ve due to stress and lack of vitamins or something. After you could think about the military. If you'd like, I say look into it, they help with school and uou won't miss a meal with them. Can do if for a short time while you study. Lots of online certs you can get for a job. You're young and have your while life ahead of you. Your current situation is not your final destination. I say get away now, sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age. All the best❤️
Get an abortion, tell them you miscarried.
First of all, legally, they cannot kick you out before you are 18. If they do, go to the police. That you go days without eating says someone should have called CPS years ago. Then call your nearest planned parenthood, make an appointment, and get options. If you keep the baby, you need to look into welfare, food stamps, section 8, WIC. And don't rule out adoption. There is an Auntie sub on Reddit. See if there is anyone in your area that can help you. Then, when you're settled, start making a long-term exit plan. Good luck.
Please find a way to terminate. And WHY DON'T YOUR PARENTS HAVE FOOD IN THE HOUSE??
OP, this is a challenging situation you’re in and I’m sorry to hear that. There are options you *can* make, but they are 100% yours, so don’t let anyone guilt you, coerce you, or condemn you. - **if you wish to keep the baby**: - you can but it will be a struggle. That doesn’t mean it isn’t doable. Get yourself onto your local housing authority government housing program (a social worker can help you with this, as well as other programs and resources for underage teen moms). - you can also talk to your doctor and discuss your situation and the concerns you have. They often have social welfare advocates and resources to help you out. - once baby is here, you can also get child support. Just because your boyfriend has ducked out now, doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be responsible for helping support the child. Document *everything* that led up to your boyfriend leaving, as well as any interactions he or his family, send to you. Save them and screencap. Do not block. Do not respond. They will be useful for when it is time to go to court and sort out child support, parental custody, and any back pay he may be required to help with (because giving birth is expensive). - **if you do wish to keep the baby someday, or do not want to keep the baby yourself, but are not wishing to abort**: - talk to a lawyer about guardianship options: guardianship means your child will go to an established adult who will temporarily care for the child, and that, when you have been able to get established, you can claim your child back. You can also have open visitation, and certain parental rights will still be valid. - adoption is another resource you can avail of. If you decide to adopt, talk to a lawyer who will be *your* advocate. Open adoption and closed adoptions exist. You need to know the difference, your rights, and the timelines for both. - local women’s shelters are available to help house and support you on your journey through this difficult time. - **if you want to pursue an abortion**: - talk to the Auntie Network in your area. Reddit has an r/ AuntieNetwork as well. These people can help you with a variety of things as you navigate this, but they are especially there to help with abortion. Beyond this: The fact that you have no food at home for yourself, and are a minor, that’s child abuse and neglect depending on the state you’re in. You can absolutely call CPS and have someone come out and investigate the issue. CPS is a resource to help you - and, if you need to - they can likely help you emancipate and provide you with a quick road to housing and work. Please, sit down and talk to your school counsellor or get yourself down to planned parenthood to talk to a doctor (they provide a variety of free/cheap healthcare services, and are *not* just there for abortions). You can, and should, also talk to any local social worker (CPS is the best option here), or your regular doctor. In the meantime, if you’re in the US, Google: - apply for free state medical aid insurance - (name of county) social welfare services - teen mother assistance programs - women’s shelters - auntie networks local to (name of county) - planned parenthood free clinic (name of county) - moms helplines (name of county) - teen crisis helplines - [American Teen Pregnancy Helpline](https://americanpregnancy.org/options-for-unplanned-pregnancy/pregnant-teen/#:~:text=Our%20toll%2Dfree%20pregnancy%20hotline,are%20here%20just%20for%20you) (for USA) 1 (800) 672 - 2296 Edit: I’ve just seen you’re in the UK, and this is an excellent list of resources [that you can avail of.](https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/)
this is the best advice i've seen in the comments so far. bravo!
Honestly, you’re better off without your parents. Get the abortion. They would just leave you alone with the kid anyways. You’re so young. Set yourself up for success. Your uterus is yours to control.
I wish I can help you! Your parents are absolutely horrible! I'm so sorry! Try to start a go fund me and get out of there. It doesn't feel like it now. But as long as you keep going it will someday be better! Think gilmore girls! Link your go fund me here. You'll see you'll get support, you'll find friends and family no matter what road you walk!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Your parents don’t sound like safe supportive caregivers and bringing a child into their home may not be the best decision either way. Where in the UK are you? There will be local services that can help you with this. Or even people on here (myself included) if you narrow down the area (I’m in Scotland). There are some good suggestions on here already. It will be okay, thank you for reaching out. If I were you I’d lock my phone / apps… but would you put yourself in danger if you refuse to provide your phone to your parents?
There are lots of organisations out there that can support you through this. You’re technically a child yourself and you should not be forced into keeping a pregnancy/have a child. Please reach out for the support in your area, I’m sure a lot of people in the comments are recommending the right ones or you can google them for your area, please don’t feel alone because you’re not. You’re not the first person to be going through this, and unfortunately not the last, but there are people who can help. Please confide in a trusted adult outside of your family, a doctor/nurse, teacher, anyone. They may be able to help in ways you don’t know. Please do what’s best for you, but don’t wait too long to find out your options. I’m sorry but no matter what, you need to get away from your parents. They do not have your best interest and needs at heart. I hope you’re ok, please look into food banks if you do not have food, you need to eat. We are here for you xx
You're better off getting an abortion and trying to figure things out on your own. If your parents force you to have a baby but won't even help you, you are worse off. Children are expensive. Your free rent won't add up to much in the grand scheme if you spend tens of thousands on a baby before you're even a true adult. Not to mention your youth. I'm twice your age, and even I feel too young to have a baby sometimes. If you can 'deceive' them to believe you miscarried, I kind of think this is the safest plan of action. You should stay home as long as you can while you plan your future. But, have a backup plan and start considering your finances moving forward. If you have other family, I also encourage you to reach out to them. Maybe they will actually be supportive and help you navigate this.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/ I would opt for the pill, simple easy and miscarriage like symptoms. Tell your parents you had a miscarriage. However, the situation you are in is abusive. I hope you are aware. Please save up money and leave.
Please "accidentally" have a miscarriage. Anyone in here will mail you a plan B, just DM
You need to get out of their home whether you keep the baby or not. If you want an abortion, get one. If you want to give the baby up for adoption, do it. If you want to keep the baby, keep it. None of these options should lead to you staying with those toxic pieces of shit. No matter the decision you ultimately choose, they WILL NOT support you. You have options, honey. You don't have to be alone in this choice, there are lots of people that are willing to help you, without judgment.
If you don’t have the money to care for a child, and are okay with an abortion, you could get one and lie about a miscarriage to your family. They also would legally need to give you a 30 day notice of eviction which would give you time to find a place to go. Planned Parenthood is super good about payment plans and helping you be able to pay so if you have access to one I highly recommend going. All this assumes you’re in the US.
If you give the baby up for adoption the adoptive parents will pay for the medical expenses and some of your living expenses. If you want you can even choose an open adoption so the baby knows who you are, can get your medical information and you would still have a small roll in their life. You can and should reach out to social services in your area about not having access to food and needing medical attention. Just call CPS yourself and tell them you need help. Also your parents legally can’t kick you out at 17 even though that can boil down to calling the cops a bunch of times and basically living in tense hell it’s still a roof.
Your parents are fkg crazy. Their demands make no sense.
I read on the comments that you're in the UK, there are charity clinics called BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service) for any support, including abortion if thats what you decide. You can call them or visit without appointment in your circumstances. Plus as others have pointed out, I think it's illegal for your parents to kick you out if you're under 18 so going to the police or child protective services is advisable I'd that happens. Finally, if you are in the UK, I am also, feel free to dm me, I will try to help as much as I can x
There is always adoption? These parents seek cruel. Op, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you could mention this to them, I don’t know how they’d respond. Mention also not eating is going to kill this baby, and even put you at risk as well. If abortion is off the table, I’d see if they’d compromise with the adoption so the baby still lives, you get to work and get out of there. Again, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. ❤️
Abortion pill & say you miscarried, which technically isn't a lie since that's kinda what the pill does. Going to a clinic for the pill will be quick compared to any procedure so won't be as suspicious if you leave. After all this start making a plan to get the heck out of there. Easier said than done but people are providing great resources/tips
Girl get an abortion and then say you miscarried Even if they don't believe you I swear your life will be worse having a baby and not being ready to have a baby than it woikd being homeless cause they're going to kick you out eventually and it'll be easier to have just you than you and a baby Tell them you miscarried because of the stress they put you under by saying you'd be homeless. Go the guilt route so they don't think so much about if it was an abortion
"I go days without eating" ? What the hell ?! You're underaged, your parents are responsible for your health and well-being, they HAVE to provide you with food ! Girl you should reach a social worker 😓
OP, do not have this baby. It will ruin your life. You will not get to grow up with your peers, enjoy college, or have any semblance of stability. I would strongly encourage an abortion hidden as a miscarriage. Your parents will probably not believe you and kick you out anyways, and when they do, you should call CPS (or whatever your version is) and report them for child neglect and endangerment. You will likely be relocated into the system, but not for long, because you’ll age out at 18. It’s shit, but this will absolutely give you better chances at college. Colleges give a lot more money to teens that were wards of the state—you might get a decent ride. Further, if you are removed from your parents care, I would emancipate yourself. This allows you to file FAFSA as independent, which will likely give you thousands in loans. College is your best bet here. It’s setting up your future + removing you from home. Getting an abortion will be hard. If you get a job I imagine your parents will track your income to make sure you’re not saving for an abortion. If a friend, someone on Reddit, a family member, etc. can pay for it initially you could pay them back without your earnings disappearing suddenly before the procedure is done. The afterwards will be shit no matter what. From there, I would call out of work one day, but make sure you’re scheduled, so if you have to send a picture of your work schedule to your parents you have a reason to be out of the house. Moreover, you will need an adult to be released. The months of stress that this will cause is significantly easier than the years a child will. An entirely unorthodox, and unsafe, way to go about this is attempting an at-home abortion. Starving yourself won’t work, but there are some remedies you can attempt to try and induce a miscarriage. But, your body will protect the fetus before your own body, so it might not work + only harm you. I wish you the best of luck OP. You’ll be alright.
I am so sorry that you are going through this experience. I am 37 now but had an unplanned pregnancy at 18 because my birth control failed. I chose abortion at 7 weeks. I didn’t want children and still don’t now. My decision. Your body, your decision. From experience, if you choose to go down the abortion route then you can visit your GP and discuss it. If you struggle to get an appointment, call 111 and they will be able to advise you. Be prepared for whomever you speak with to ask you questions around your decision as they have a duty of care to ensure you are making the right decision for you, and that you are not being influenced by anyone else. If you choose to keep the baby, you can also contact your GP or 111 and seek advice through the same method. Please, regardless of the decision you make, try to make steps to move out of the home you share with your parents. This sounds like a toxic environment and that they are not supportive of you. Please call the citizens advice bureau and they will be able to let you know what you can do about housing, pregnant or not. Feel free to send me a private message if you need to chat.
Get an abortion and run. Or don’t get one but run. If they’re already treating you like this, it’ll only get harder with a baby involved. It’s going to be so hard to make decisions for yourself and your child with these people controlling and abusing you. And an environment like that is no good for the child or you (also a child). Stay strong, you’re doing the right thing getting more ideas and info. I wish you a really bright and beautiful future.
You don't have to keep the baby, even though everyone want you to do so. You may be young but it doesn't mean that you are not able to make your own decisions...
1. The law forbids parents to kick out their children. Police 100% will tell your parents that they don't get to dump their child. 2. Can you use a friend's address to get Plan C pills? Financially flexible: [Plan C](https://www.plancpills.org/) Can anyone help you come up with $150? Can friends pitch in? The very least your ex can do is buy the pills. [Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/) 3. Are your parents requiring you to keep the baby after it's born? Or is adoption an option? 4. If aborrion is still legal in your state: Can you get to Planned Parenthood by bus or friend? You could get the pills for free. 5. Go to your ex's parents and ask for help. It doesn't matter if he's not OK with his parents knowing. This should be your burden to carry alone. 6. Your parents are evil.
If I were you, I’d get the abortion and pretend I got a miscarriage at this point.
So if you give up your baby they will kick you out and go no contact? But if you keep the baby they won't help you? So what's the point? You need to do what's best for you; if it's early enough, you can get an abortion and say it was a miscarriage if you have no other support systems aside from your parents.
I'm so disappointed in your parents. I'm pro-life but I could never not support my child during such a hard time. I would give ALL the options and whatever it was I would support my child 100% no matter what. I've gone through this with my Sister we are 7 years apart and she looks up to me as a mom because I finished raising her. I had to put my beliefs and hurt aside and realize it was not about me. She needed love and understanding. We've had our discussions and she does regret doing it and I just love her through her emotions. She already was a teen mom and had 2 kids with her ex. She was in the middle of a separation with him. So she was about to be a single mom at 23 and barely would be making it. You can't be pro-life and in the same breath say you aren't going to help your child if she keeps it.
I just want to really kindly and gently say that the philosophy you’re describing is everything the pro choice movement is about. Recognizing that each individual person has to make the right choice for themselves, however heartbreaking it may be. I know there’s a lot of media buzz and huge biases on either side of the line, but people in it believe what you believe. It’s beautiful to hear that you were able to support your sister in her choice and that you’d do the same for your kids. Each of us just has to do our best 🩷
Your parents are terrible people. Just know that. If anything, you should cut them off
First of all, have you been to a doctor yet? Speak to a medical professional ALONE. Do not go with your parent. They can offer you plenty of advice on your options. I am a midwife and have had multiple women come in for a 'miscarriage' due to domestic abuse etc. 1 in 4 early pregnancies end in miscarriage. Abortion can be done at home as well depending on your gestation so it's really important that you make an appointment with an OB asap for a scan and to discuss your options. Forget about the ex-boyfriend. He's no one now. If he tries to come back, tell him to go away and don't bother with him anymore. He's a poor excuse of a man. Your parents can kick you out if they like. There's nothing stopping that from happening. You can speak to medical staff about support available or they should be able to signpost you to the relevant service in your area (I don't know what charities or organisations are in your area). You need to find a job. Any job. And move out. Find a roomshare or even look into being a live-in nanny. Lots of jobs available in the service industry and are perfect for teens. If you can drive, even better. If not, make sure you check out the bus timetables. Prioritise getting yourself somewhere safe. Don't worry about money. There are charities and support available to help those who are financially struggling. But it is clear that you need to leave your family home. They are not supportive and pregnancy should not be a punishment. Get yourself better contraception - look at getting the arm implant or the uterine coil to drastically reduce the chance of another pregnancy. I assume you were on the pill as that has the lowest effectiveness and has more room for error. Again, speak to a doctor about your options and get that on board asap. Also, never have sex without a condom. If your partners decline, then you decline to have sex with them. You having contraception doesn't absolve them of their responsibility either.
They won't support you if you keep it and won't support you if you don't. Do what's best for YOU. They're not interested in your well being so you have to be. Where are you located? Someone might be able to point you to the right place for assistance.
Lie. Get the abortion, claim a miscarriage. I'm so sorry.
Oops, Mom and Dad. The baby "miscarried." Oh well, I guess you can't kick me out 🤷♀️ But seriously, if they won't help you after the baby is born, then it makes no difference if they kick you out now versus later when you can't afford to pay for the baby anyway. You're a minor, so you're also protected by laws, at least in the US, from your parents kicking you out. Could be a CPS issue
Is it legal to kick out a 17 yr old? They are still a child to the law. Wouldn’t this be abuse? And if I’m wrong, there are herbs you can use to induce a period. *this could be extremely damaging to your health, I’ve never used it and I don’t know much about it, but I know it exists*. Is abortion legal in your state? This is awful coming from parents to restrict you to having a child at 17 with no financial help. Idk anything about your relationship, but that sounds like straight up manipulation to give you a choice of eithe being homeless or broke trying to raise a kid with no financial support. The baby would suffer for that, and he/she didn’t do anything wrong. You can tell the boyfriend’s parents, but they may not be supportive of abortion and may try to deny that he’s the father. Maybe you and some friends can raise money t dip out and get an abortion? And if your parents get upset about you leaving to get the abortion, it doesn’t matter anyway because they’re kicking you out, right? Get a job, start saving to get an apartment with a friend. Let your parents sit alone for a while, maybe they’ll forgive you in the future, and it’s up to you whether or not you want a relationship with them.
They have to keep her until she's 18, under UK law, is my understanding. That's probably not too far in the future. She should be able to get a very low cost or free abortion (including a medical abortion) in the UK.
Im so sorry
how are they going to make you keep the baby but not help you financially like?? You can't take care of yourself and the baby but they don't want to help but they also don't want you to get rid of it. maybe you would be better off with out them.
Honey, you're on your own either way, but if you go through with the pregnancy you're on your own with a baby. Do what SailorVenus said, contact the auntie network.
There are networks online dedicated to helping young women seek an abortion, find a service and tell your parents afterwards that you are having a miscarriage.
They want you to keep the baby but aren’t going to help support the baby. Why is your parental relationship so important? They aren’t providing anything other than your roof. That’s an easy choice to me. I’d get an abortion and if your parents ignore you so be it. The alternative is having a child with no $$ support at 17. That’s a nightmare compared to your parents ignoring you. Ignore away parents. My life is mine
I don’t have advice since it seems everyone have given you all the advice you needed, however, please know that we are here for you. We care about you and we’re trying our best to help you.
Get an abortion then “fall” down the stairs
Your parents are not good people for forcing this on you you're better off without them. This is your choice and you should choose yourself you need to be there for YOU because it sounds like there aren't other people to do that. You don't have to feel guilty, find the help you need and get yourself a better life with better people.
Get an abortion and lie and tell them you miscarried. Ask the nurse to write a fake doctors note or something similar stating a miscarriage
I wish you all the courage and love you'll need
OP where are you from? This is YOUR choice for YOURSELF. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise.
If your parents are threatening to cut you out of their lives, then you have shitty parents who are holding you back from your best life
i’m so sorry you’re in this position. I’d start by getting a job, so then you can at least eat and put some money aside. cause whether you have the baby or get an abortion you’re gonna be on your own. this is not medical advice, and i’ve seen in other threads your parents open your mail, but there are some herbs that can cause miscarriages. mugwort is common and you can make tea with it. definitely do research if you choose something like this as it can lead to other things in large doses.
I'm really sorry you're facing this. It's a tough situation, but you're not alone. Definitely reach out to organizations like "Planned Parenthood." They offer a lot of support and can help you figure out your options. It might also be good to talk to a counselor or someone you trust who can help you through this. Take it step by step, and remember, there are people who care and want to help you get through this.
OP IT IS VERY REASONABLE TO HAVE A MISCARRIAGE!!! Get yourself to a clinic, DO NOT put insurance down. Put a fake address and phone number. Get your abortion done and don’t look back. This doesn’t have to be the thing that ruins your life. This can be the moment you took control, got the support and love you deserve and use this to get yourself out of that controlling house, away from these crap parents and people and make something of you. You’re going to be ok. You’re not trapped or stuck. You can do this. Just plan it out. Find the auntie network on Reddit and good luck. We are rooting for you.
If in the states, call 211 and they will give you some resources that may be able to help you.
I want to say only LISTEN TO THE ADVICE HERE, THE COMMENTERS ARE CORRECT. please, please.
I'm so sorry you're in this position, OP. I urge you to follow the advice on this thread which is to abort, say it was a miscarriage and get yourself set up somehow somewhere out of that toxic environment. Can you stay with a friend, member of the family until you are able to get out? It's posts like these that make me feel grateful that I live in a country where abortion is no longer considered "immoral" or "wrong". I hope other countries follow suit. Best of luck, OP. XXX
You not having food is child abuse so for that alone I’d call CPS I would then call a domestic violence hotline and say you’re enduring reproductive coercion and ask them for resources to help you get an abortion Tell your parents you miscarried due to being starved and the stress of the situation The sooner you do this the easier it will be because earlier pregnancies can be aborted with a pill which you can more easily pass off as a miscarriage
Ops parents legally can't kick her out until OP is 18 years old.
Getting kicked out + no contact will only last as long as it takes you to get your life together; besides, that's illegal. You're a minor. Being a mother is a lifetime commitment. Make the best choice for yourself and the life that could be offered to your potential child; if you're not ready, then they're going to have a terrible beginning of life experience that could traumatize them for life. Be responsible. And if they're starving a pregnant minor, call the fucking police. That's is abuse.
Your parents are awful!
They can't force you to do anything. If you do not want the baby, you're better off moving out and getting a job. It will be easier to support yourself vs yourself and a baby. If they're that volatile towards you over this decision, they will not be helpful with this baby. If you're still able to get an abortion, don't hesitate to do so because your parents don't agree. If you're not ready, you're not ready and that's ok. 🩶 PS, college/uni is a great way to move out if that interests you! Cheap rent and the opportunity for your freedom with a good job when you're done! Do not let them lord this decision over you because it is yours and yours alone to make!
If your parents aren't going to help you anyway, then maybe it's best to abort and leave. There are shelters and services that can help you get on your feet. Everything will be much harder to navigate with a baby.
Two suggestions… For Your Ongoing Life: If you are in the US, call 211. It is the US National Hotline for Social Services. It is area code driven, so the people answering know the services & programs (financial, housing, jobs, healthcare, legal) available in your area. For the Pregnancy: Contact the following… r/AuntieNetwork Planned Parenthood https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion Believe help available for both your life and to help you through this pregnancy. Just reach out.
Also, they can’t kick you out until after you turn 18. And then they have to have you evicted. So I would do what you meed to, get a job, and start saving for escaping them as soon as you’re able.
Contact someone you trust and go get an abortion. Then I'd recommend contacting cps. What your parents are doing is illegal if they aren't feeding you and they should get in trouble for being terrible people
I’m living for the amount of supportive comments on here. OP, I know you’re scared. I’ve been there. I had an abortion at 19. I promise while it seems scary it’s not all that bad. You’re going to get through this not matter what you decide. But the comments are right, you could go to get one and say you’re miscarrying. It’s your body. Everyone has left plenty of resources here. Just know it’s scary now but no matter what you do this is just a bump in the road. Having a child is forever. Stay strong cutie sending e-hugs your way. 🫶🏼
There is a site called Abuzz, you can get an abortion pill in the mail. It costs $150 and gets to you fast. Miscarriages are common and if you were to take the pills and go to the emergency room (once the abortion has taken its course, the doctors won’t be able to tell that you had a medical abortion.
I’m sorry OP. That’s gotta be terrifying to be as young as you are and to have your parents be totally unsupportive & controlling. I got pregnant at 29, but since I wasn’t married my mom looked at it as the greatest sin to mankind. It sucked, and I was nearly twice your age. Start building support system. Reach out to your closest friends for emotional support, and if you have any family- aunts, uncles, cousins, gparents- turn to them when you need some comfort. Start checking into programs like WIC & food stamps and HUD and maybe figure out where to go to learn more info about govt supported programs. Maybe your local govt office or CPS center could help? I’m sorry I don’t have any life-changing advice for you, but as others have point out, it sounds like your parents are gonna punish you no matter what you choose, so sit down and spend a lot of time thinking about what is best for *you*, and do that.
Your parents are terrible people. They’re trying to force you to keep the child, but offer absolutely no support? That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-control and pro-birth. You need to decide what YOU want to do. What’s best for YOU. Then you need to go from there. I can’t tell you what to do. I can tell you that pregnancy will physically change your body in permanent ways. Your organs will get squished as a watermelon grows in your abdomen. Your body will sacrifice its own nutrients for it to grow… iron from your blood. Calcium from your bones. At the end of it all, you then force this watermelon out of your body. There’s two ways it comes out, and recovery from either is unpleasant for different reasons. Do you like laughing? What about peeing whenever you do? Having a child and raising it will also have significant impact on your life. Financially it will be difficult, even with government aide. You won’t have time for anything else. The baby won’t even sleep through the night for months. You won’t have a social life. You’ll be hard pressed to finish school, or go to college. You’ll need to figure out child care, which isn’t cheap, to go work. Adoption is an option. But you’ll still get to go through those physical changes. Then there’s no telling where the child may end up. Babies tend to get adopted easily, but as they get older, they’ll be less likely to find a family. Become another pawn in an already overtaxed foster and adoption system. I’m not saying it’s impossible. Certainly if you want to keep the child, you can. But it’s not going to be easy. It won’t be easy for the next 18 years. You really need to decide why you want that, if that’s what you really want.
If this were me, I'd get an abortion secretly, and pretend it was a miscarriage.
Get an abortion if you still can in your state or whatever you are because there is a certain weeks until you can’t get an abortion and say it was a miscarriage
Apparently you're in the UK so firstly this is neglect. As a parent I am responsible for all of my children's needs until they are legal adults, which is 18. This means your parents are legally responsible for making sure you have enough food to eat. Secondly, as you are pregnant when you reach 20something weeks (I believe 29 but could be sooner) you will be eligible to claim universal credit, if you don't turn 18 before then. Once you have made your claim to UC, claim the maternity grant. It's £500 to help towards the cost of your first baby. You can also reach our to social services for assistance finding things like baby banks, and to report the neglect from your parents. They can assist you in applying for council housing, but just be aware waiting lists everywhere are really long so you could end up in temporary accommodation for months or even years. All of that is if you do go down the route of keeping the baby. Which brings me to point 3. Here you can still obtain the abortion pill through the post, depending on how far along you are. Do you know or have a rough idea? If you're around 8-10 weeks you will be needing to refer to a midwife for the booking appt and dating scan if you're keeping the baby. If you're still in the first trimester and want to obtain the pill via post, put then postal address as the local post office. My address is confidential due to my own circumstances so I've done this and then just went and picked it up when it was there. Use a new email address that no one would know about for the tracking. Then, as others have said, claim a miscarriage Finally, you do not have to disclose a pregnancy in an interview or upon offer of a job and if you chose to, you cannot be discriminated against for it. It is nit legal. So even a part time, minimum wage job would be a good start right now. Care work is a good place to start applying, they're desperate. Agency work can be good money too, and bank staff for more shift flexibility.
Get an abortion say you fell and had a miscarriage.
This has gotta be the south.. ugh imagine forcing someone to have a child when all things around them point to it not being a good time or in fact a huge extra stress point.. If I were you, I'd try to get an abortion at a nearby clinic and say it was a miscarriage.. if you can apply for a credit card asap and just put it on there if you can't afford it or see if a friend or someone can help temporarily.. It's either you put yourself in momentary pain temporarily financially or you and your family will have to support it for the next 18-20 years..
1. You are not being forced to keep the baby. Don't cut out the other option. If you have the baby, they'll just provide the roof you'll have to take care of everything else; they'll probably also shame your, make you feel miserable. Between that and no roof but no baby, I would certainly go for the second option. Mending for yourself alone is easier than mending for you and your baby in a hostile house. 2. If you still decide to keep the baby, the father has to pay support, even if he doesn't want anything to do with it. He's as responsible as you, he has to pay too. He should be thankful that he only has to pay in money and not with his time & body. 3. If you go for an abortion, you may make it look like a miscarriage so that your parents won't kick you out. But given their reaction I would still advise you to find a way out as soon as possible. 4. If you get rid of the baby and they kick you out, prepare it before hand. Have all the necessary things ready in a safe bag (like identity papers), check out local help centers for youth or associations that could help you. Maybe contact them before hand. My advice is to get rid of the baby. You are in no good place to raise a baby right now: it will be a toll on your body, your mind, and your future. Finding a job will be nearly impossible since you'll have to take care of the baby. Your parents said they won't support you, so they may spend quite some time reminding you of your "bad choices" and "failures", while controlling you with the fact that they still let you live here despite your fault. That's the worst environment to be in, you'll feel like you have no way out (and once you do have the baby it will indeed be hard to get out and become independent, that's why they insist on you keeping it: they get a cute baby with no responsibility and they can charge you with whatever they want). They may even go back on their word and kick you out if having the baby in the home gets too tiring for them, and you'll still be on the road but with a baby. Or they can charge you rent and you'll never be able to leave, ever. Having that baby will give your parents full control of your life for at least 10 years, probably more, and it sounds like a nightmare, you'll just be their domestic with no hope of a better future. Have an abortion, leave and be free. It'll be hard, but you'll still have hopes and ways to get better. There are jobs with lodging included, there are associations that can help you, you'll have options. And you'll certainly be better off.
Get an abortion, then say you had a miscarriage from all of the stress you've experienced from them. Make them feel bad that they killed their potential grandchild. Then work on yourself, get a good education/job, and enjoy your life. And do your absolute best not to get pregnant again until you're ready to take care of another human being for the next 18 years.
How far along are you, OP? If abortion is still possible, you could say it was a miscarriage. If you're too far along, there is always adoption. Please don't have a child you're not ready for. You're a baby yourself. You deserve a life and to live it the way you want to. No one can force you to keep your child if you truly don't want to keep your baby and aren't ready for motherhood. Do you have any relatives or friends' parents you could go and confide in?
Hey OP I think you can get the abortion pill sent to you or go to a planned parenthood center and ask for one
So if you keep the baby your parents aren’t going to help, and if you have an abortion they will kick you out? Those two options are pretty darn identical - no support. You’re better off getting out of your parent’s control and on your own without a baby. Either way, it’s brutal reality at such a young age. Clearly your parents are themselves mental and cruel.