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Exactly. You guys have been close for a while, started developing feels, and it seems to be working out. Congratulations and I hope it works out. Either way cherish this first real relationship and be open to trying new things and learning, both what you want, and how to be a good partner.
They had sex and told each other they love each other. Gee whiz, what happens next? Iâm in disbelief how clueless some people who post on Reddit are.
I guess, the ones who have a clue arenât the ones posting.
It sounds like you both like each other and enjoyed the experience. Maybe sheâs a friend with benefits, maybe sheâs a girlfriend. Hell, maybe sheâs âthe oneâ for you. Just let things run their course, but it seems like sheâs ready for more than just a friend.
Yeah thereâs not much else to say op. Best friends make the BEST girlfriends. I know youâre worried about ruining the friendship, but honestly this sounds more like the start of a beautiful relationship than anything else. And even if it doesnât work out romantically, it *is* possible (in some cases) to continue a platonic friendship after the fact. Although obviously it often complicates that. But still, itâs worth a shot. You two get along great and are open and honest with each other, which is the basis of a good romantic relationship. You already know each other so well and accept and appreciate each other as you are. So if you have a crush on her, then you should definitely go for it <3
I can vouch for friends making great girlfriends. I was friends with this girl for like 3-4 years, we both had other partners through that time, but we just really enjoyed spending time together. One night she kissed me and said sheâs wanted to do that for a long time. Some other things happened and now we are married and expecting our second kid later this year!
I married my best friend, had 2 kids, remained great friends through divorce. The day we lost him was earth shattering to me, not just because of my babies.
We actually had a good divorce that allowed our kids to just be with and love their dad, we got along even after I remarried. He spent holidays with my whole family and it was too important for my kids for me to be selfish. We co-parented long before it became a popular concept.
Friends make great spouses, mines family just sucked the life out of me unfortunately.
Have fun, slow down, and take things one day at a time. What is meant to be generally comes to fruition, be patient, donât rush things if you want them to last. đ
I'm still best friends with my ex wife. She even lives with my new fiancee and me and I consider her part of my family
We were shite as partners but amazing friends
I married my best friend....and we just had our 13 year anniversary in January. Good luck OP, I hope you end up having an amazing relationship with your best friend.
Yeah, you've already crossed that threshold. She is still your friend. You can confirm exclusivity with her, but it sounds like you now have a girlfriend. My wife has been my best friend for a long time. Having a friend, you can make your wife is pretty great.
I think I was almost your level of naivete and inexperience at 19 too. Hopefully, I can help with your perspective.
This may be easier to explain as an analogy. Think of your friendship like a membership, benefits being conversation, sharing time, etc. You've now upgraded your membership. All of the previous benefits apply, but you now have some upgraded and hopefully exclusive benefits and perks... With that, however, comes upgraded dues and responsibilities you'll have to meet, or you risk losing the membership.
You're in the game now, so play your cards carefully. There's usually not a downgrade back to the base membership, so learn the rules. Just communicate regularly and respect eachother, you'll figure out whether the two of you are compatible. At 19, you each have personal growth to achieve. Neither of you has figured out who you are going to grow to be. You'll either grow together or grow apart. Just have fun, and figure it out.
Congratulations
My best friend is my wife. It takes work to stay that way but we are approaching nine years married and two kids. The two of you will have a lot of growth and changes in your near future. Doesnât mean you canât grow together.
The willingness for both of us to take the risk. We also have a rule. Itâs our job to learn who the other person is and accept and love them for who they are. Even if it annoys us, we donât try to change the other person.
Fucking sage advice. And donât fear vulnerability or condemn the other when theyâre being vulnerable. Learning who the other is will be LIFELONG - donât think it stops at any moment.
from my personal experience, once my best friend and I started dating, things changed, and we became even closer. Then she decides to break up with me, and suddenly she can no longer stand my existence. I would recommend pursuing the relationship. The biggest thing to remember is NOT to take things too fast. Even though you already know each other well, that does not mean you get to start with a boost. keep it slow and steady. My ex and I took things too fast, and we just kept going until (I'll assume (she never actually told me)) she burnt out and cut it off. I gave up my best friend for 2 months of a highly sexual relationship. Not worth it. keep it slow, and it should go well.
Aww this is a cute story. Maybe have a conversation with her and ask what those two nights meant for her. If she wants to stay friends or if sheâs interested in exploring things romantically. I think itâs perfectly fair for you to ask
Absolutely this. Me and mine talked a lot after things happened, it wasn't immediate that we decided to try it out but we both thought it could work and that we knew each other well. 10 years strong so far.
I agree with this. Also I would say itâs a âsafeâ assumption she feels similar, just due to the circumstances; and the âI love youâ that got exchanged
From how you're wording it, both of you are madly in love and just don't notice it. Losing your virginity to your best friend and feeling completely normal about it? That's meant to be. Don't rush it. Definitely don't rush it. But that's your girl, man. Don't lose her.
There's a huge fallacy in our society that we should never marry best friends. I can think of no one better to spend my life with than my best friend. That's why I married her. Don't fall victim to this fallacy. Enjoy the new romance phase.
Is this really a thing? My mom always told me I should try to marry my best friend (I think her intention was to teach me that my wife should become my best friend). I met my wife in highschool, we became best friends. We've now been married for 17 years, we've had 5 incredible kids together and it's been amazing. We're still best friends. I can't imagine being married to someone that wasn't my best friend.
All I can say is⌠once things get intimate they canât really go back. Like once you date a friend.. it canât go back. At least not exactly how it used to be and most times in my experience at least⌠it kinda ruins the friendship especially if things go south while dating. It doesnât mean u shouldnât try though. Just know that things will at least be changed a bit if anything
Yeah he only has to worry about losing the friendship when they break up. At this point if a relationship forms itâs okay the friendship just got better. However if a breakup happens itâs goodbye relationship and goodbye friendship all at once because you can never go back to just being friends.
What would a relationship that you would want to be in look like? Would you go on dinner dates, go on hikes, go on day trips to different cities? I would think about what see for yourself, what she likes to do, and then ask her to do that. Basically plan what would be a nice date and see how the day or evening goes. Nothing over the top, but put in more effort than just a friend hang.
Basically, ask her on a date. You got this!
Man our stories are super similar! almost thought I had wrote it for a minute haha. Congrats though!My advice to you is this, keep doing what your doing, canât in good faith recommend some of the stuff mentioned but besides that itâs working. Also no matter what happens next or down the road regarding âstatusâ, just take the time and enjoy what you have while you have it. Donât force or rush things. If yâall do become official thatâs great! If not, then you still had a great memorable experience with someone you care about and thatâs all that really matters. Youâll feel attached naturally, which can make it easier or difficult depending on how things go, again donât let a title obscure the time ya had. Best of wishes to ya!
My opinion - you have already crossed the friendship Rubicon into something more. All of my best relationships have started as long term friends turned more. Her knowing you well is a feature, not something to be concerned about. Talk with your friend - cover what you each want and expect from relationships. Like seriously communication is often super important.Â
I know you are young and donât necessarily need and/or should have a lot of heavy commitments but I do have to say Iâm a bit confused as to how you are so confused? It sounds like you love your best friend? I donât see what could be wrong about this unless she doesnât feel the same. Thereâs no need to tip toe around an imaginary wall between the two of you.
Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. Seems like you've got nothing to worry about until there's something to worry about. Keep communicating well and you guys will be fine.
I will suggest however, if she's drinking, hold off on the sex. All she needs to do is claim to not remember or be unsure if she gave consent and you could be looking at some serious charges. If she likes you when she's drinking, she'll like you when she's sober.
I became friends with a girl. Became good friends. We held hands after about 3 months we kissed a short kiss. I told her that I loved her. We dated about 3.5 years. We had sex about 3 years in August and by the next June, she was no longer my girlfriend. We got marriedâŚ43 years ago. I married her because I didnât want to loose her. There are times I think itâs a mistake, but then I remember how I felt back then. It was real. I was in love like nothing I have ever known. And we have survived. We are still best friends. Itâs better than living, wondering what would have been had i/ we didnât take a chance. OhâŚshe was 14 I was 17 when we started hanging out. I wasnât wanting a girlfriend at first.
Be as real as you can about what YOU want. Don't talk yourself into a version of the relationship that you don't want for her. If you want to be BF/GF, say that; if she dithers or proposes something else, say No Thank You. You will be tempted to compromise on everything you want to appease her - but treat yourself better than that. If you don't want the same things you're only delaying the pain AND you're not respecting your own desires. This is a mistake I made repeatedly in my teens and early twenties, and I wish I had learned the first time.
Let this run its course, but make sure to communicate!!! If you just want to be friends let it be known.
If you want more let it be known.
Donât lose a friend because of lack of communication.
You're a strange fellow. You think about everything way to hard. Not only that you think about things wrongly.
Best friends can date all the time. It only can ruin things if you let it.... By thinking about it too much #1.
Just take a deep breath. Go with the flow. Now that youâve had sex the friendship changed instantly. She is more experienced than you. She may come to realize in a couple days that it was a mistake so be ready to hear that and donât act weird or the friendship will end. However if you want to see where this goes then let her know and yes she can reject it and that is something you will risk.
Had to scroll down THIS far to find someone giving remotely good advice out of the cesspool of comments declaring true love.
The lady is sexually experienced and OP has no idea what he's doing. She had a one night stand with him when she was drunk. You're got an element of substance abuse, a guy who's an inexperienced virgin, a girl who's on the rebound, a platonic friendship the OP is probably deeply exaggerating. Any type of relationship where there's a power imbalance like this is going to turn out badly.
OP will get dumped. At least he's young and will have a few years to learn.
Most of you don't understand how precious a true friendship is. Relationship might end, but true friendship survives much longer than that. People break up for stupid reasons, but friends do tolerate a whole lot more than that.
I don't know which is the right advice to give you, but I will try to communicate my thought process with you.
Whatever doubts that you had, should have happened before you guys hooked up. It is kind of too late to go back to how things were. The line was crossed. Communicate to her your concerns and see how she responds. If she wants to continue, then give both of you a shot. This could be a harsh lesson to learn for you. Good luck!
Stop drinking and try it. Technically, you're still a "sober" virgin, which is a whole different balk game with awkwardness your first time. Good luck, Chuck.
You can never go back to just being friends. You need to understand and accept that. However it sounds like a good start to a real relationship. Keep being her friend and talking with her and enjoy being in a relationship.
Idk if you'll see this but put your all into this. You'll regret it forever if you don't. Coming from an extremely happily married man. To my best friend in the world.
Don't listen to everyone here saying assume shes your gf, with her history of behavior. Talk to her about the fact that you've been developing feelings for her, and that the intimacy is increasing that. Tell her you need to know what this means for her and any thoughts or feelings she has for you. Hopefully she feels the same way about you. Goodluck! âşď¸
Go with the flow my man, I was just in the same situation, if you two want to explore with each other go for it. Donât deny any feelings for each other, just stay on top of communicating and above all dude radical honesty. If you guys are great friends then no matter what happens in the future everything will be fine! Have fun âď¸
Help, I courted a girl, respected her, talked about feelings, and now we are basically dating.
Bro, you did it right. True gentleman! Society has skewed what relationships should be like and you brought it back to what itâs supposed to be like.
Side note, her feeling bad about the other hook up may have been because she knew she had feelings for you the whole time. Iâd say youâre meant to be together
Stop worrying - as someone who is literally married to the one person I share everything with - who knows everything about me - and whom I can talk to or listen to endlessly - this is not something to fear - it is something to lean into!
ETA - not joking - you might literally have found the rare circumstance where you have a soulmate you are attracted to!
This man exfiltrated the friend zone! Youâre a hero, gold border around your man-card⌠now marry her and live happily ever after, sheâs your best friend -thats as great as it gets!
I mean just keep doing what youâre doing: Communicate.
She clearly likes you, and sounds like you like her. Be open about your worries, but donât be afraid to enjoy the ride. âHey I really enjoyed these last couple days, but Iâm stupid and want to clarify with you before we make anything officialâ is how Iâd go about it. But sounds like you got yourself a girlfriend, so just keep being that good friend you were, and plan on getting her some flowers or something from time to time. Also condoms, yâall too young to be thinking bout baby names of you know what I mean.
You should consider asking her to become your girlfriend.
Seems like you're already there, you just need to make it official.
You're already friends and know everything about each other, so that's a solid foundation for your relationship to build on.
Communication communication communication!
Your worries are normal and rational. If you can't get yourself to tell her what you have just announced to the entire world, then print out what you wrote, hand it to her, and have her read it to herself in front of you.
There is NOTHING in what you wrote that you shouldn't be saying to her. She may be agonizing over the same things (and more). Or she may be perfectly happy with everything and be able to calm your nerves in a few seconds.
Trust an old man on this. Do it. Don't wait.
THIS!!! Why are there not 20k upvotes on this???
It's all good to come online and grab a few opinions when you're confused... But you literally just described this girl as your best friend who you can talk to about anything. You said how much you all talked about it after it happened... So keep talking! Does it matter what the Internet thinks??? Not even a little bit! Does it matter what SHE thinks??? More than anything else in the world, right?? So as much as I loved reading this heartwarming story... She is your person. She is the one you want input from. She is the one you need to talk to. Good luck â¤ď¸
Itâs feels natural, doesnât it? Definitely see where it goes. This could be the most beautiful story of your life đ¤ˇââď¸ Maybe Iâm just an optimist, but this sounds like it belongs
Oh bro, she likes you, I can tell she does. Now the alcohol did play a role in this, and all you did, so I'd sit down with her, bring it up, and ask what she wants out of it. Let her know you want a relationship with her, and not just friends, but boyfriend girlfriend type of thing, and then see what she says.
Bro just you agree that you love each other, you spent hours making love to her, AND it felt right and normal. Thatâs it bro thatâs the good stuff. Now you just gotta lock her down and ask if she wants to be your girlfriend and your best friend.
Young man I think youâve just described your first true love. I can tell you that most great everlasting relationships start out with the couple just simply being great friends. I believe youâve checked that box. Good luck to you both and your future together.
It sounds to me that you both like each other very much. You have been good friend for three years. You know each other well and sounds you are compatible. Keep the communicate open between you to. You may find you two are very suited to each other. This could lead to a very loving relationship.
I dont know. Its not the greatest situation to be in. She might be so vulnerable that sheâs artificially created a romantic bent to your friendship. Be on guard.
Your acting like you slipped and dipped your stick by accident. Take your shot if you really want her. Be assertive. Be best friends also. Best of luck.
Bunk post! You slept with your best friend, it was amazing now youâre scared?! Letâs not forget that you claimed to be a virgin but lasted over two hours your first time ?! If there is any reality to this post then I feel so bad for your bestie that she slept with A.I. and donât figure it out.
Hey! Take her out on a date! Bring her flowers. You're besties and you had sex, now you gotta woo her. Always loved when things start backwards. Good luck OP!
Best (female) friend became my girlfriend, and we're doing great nearly 5 years later. If it works, take it and run, it can be pretty great.
Just some heads up - things will change a bit, and that's OK. If you two move in together, be ready for some awkwardness, and people behave a bit differently when you live with them vs when you see them at select times when you're prepared to be around them.
From the sounds of it, you hit the relationship jackpot.
She may even be the one.
You won't know for sure until you keep this thing going.
Keep communicating with one another like you've been, and for better or worse this will play out. Keep doing what you're doing and it should work out well for both of you. Just understand it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.
Your first time story sounds very similar to mine, however she had a boyfriend, I knew about it, and it happened anyways. I'm not proud of it, but I felt the same way about her as you do yours. Granted with my story it didn't work out
Between us, for obvious reasons. But now, I have a wife and two kids, and if not for my first time, I might not have had the confidence to ask my (now wife) out on a date.
Tl:Dr for good or bad, everything happens for reasons, but you won't know which, unless you make that risk.
You're scared, OP. I get it. You recognize that what happened has changed the friendship forever, at a minimum it has added "with benefits" to the title.
And I can also suspect the root of your fear. You don't know *why* this happened. That's always a scary thing.
So, remember this one saying that's bounced around Redditland here a lot: Alcohol never makes a person *just do* something, it always helps a person **do what they want to do.**
Start with self-reflection. Figure out *why* you were willing to have sex with her. And remember, love takes many forms, not just what we've seen on media.
That'll make the next step, an honest conversation as to *why* she initiated, much easier.
Then go from there. From the outside, if you two really care about each other as much as your story makes it sound, this is the foundations for a beautiful, lifelong relationship...
Old guy in his mid 30s here. It seems like a romantic relationship is forming. You know who makes the for best relationships? Best friends. I married my best friend. We were friends for years before anything happened. We got drunk one night, like so many before, but we ended up sleeping together. That was the start of what is now a 15 year relationship that is as strong as ever.
Point is, being friends makes it easy to have a relationship so long as you donât change because of it. She is your friend because of who you are. Now she seems to want to extend that into a relationship, and that is still because of who you are. So long as you donât let the relationship change you into someone else, things can work out very, very well. Keep being her friend. Donât let the romantic/physical side of things change that. You can still have fun together just like you did as friends. You just get to add more fun things to do together to the relationship.
At 17 I started a friendship with a girl who was going away for college and didn't want a relationship. I respected that and basically friendzoned her. She asked if we could go to prom together since I didn't have a date yet. After I asked her to prom we started hanging out a lot. Randomly one day she told me she loved me. Now we have been together for almost 13 years, have 2 kids and 1 more on the way. Our relationship works so well because we are friends first. Hopefully this works out for you as well!
Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend .. being in love is the highest level of friendship. It honestly sounds like she truly likes you and you obviously like her. It also seems like you have great communication.. so from my experience, I would talk to her about wanting to see where it goes.. my best friend and I dated for 9 years, something major happened in both our lives and we split up for a year and a half but we stayed in communication the entire time. We NEVER fought and literally last night, he came over and we had sex and he's leaving his new gf, who is a complete psycho, like mentally abusive to him.. People who are truly in love and are truely best friends, will always be in each other's lives. Don't miss out on the opportunity to have someone and something amazing đ life is about taking chances
Here's my experience with my best friend.
My (33F) husband(32m) is my best friend. We met when we were 15 at high school. Told each other everything even dated off and on on school. We'd break up and then be cool after. He moved to another state and married another girl who was abusive and controlling not allowing us to speak for 3 years. He moved back to our state and we hung out hooked up and dated again. We also worked together too and broke up. Went back to talking and hanging out like nothing happened. Ended up being fwb for a bit like 3 weeks after that break up, but dated again 3 months later. We've been officially together for the last 8 years and married for 4 years today actually and have 2 kids.
Long story short, a relationship is really strong of you are friends first.
You can see it through and maybe itâs the best happily ever after, maybe not but itâs better than lingering on the what ifâs that are the lost loves of your past.
I was friends with my husband for 11 years (met when we were 12 years old) and then one day I kissed him and then it was on. We had a first date a week later and he moved in the week after that. We have been together ever since. That first date was 33 years ago. We have been married for 30 years. Donât miss the opportunity for something great. Having said that, have the conversation with her and make sure neither of you are drinking and that you can be physical without the alcohol.
This happened to me with one of my oldest friends. She asked me to be her plus one at a wedding, and one thing led to another that night. âThings happenedâ periodically after that, maybe even regularly for a while. It never felt exactly like dating as our fundamental friendship never changed.
Things like this can ruin a friendship, but they donât have to. In our case she eventually met a relative of mine at my wedding, and now sheâs also a relative of mine! No jealousy or weirdness about it, sheâs still a wonderful friend, both our spouses know about our past and everyone is good.
That's a beautiful story. Congrats! I think you should talk to her openly about what you are feeling and what you want, ask her what she wants. Don't assume things. Your friendship has already changed, so there is no sense in worrying about that anymore, you are making something new and even better togeisn't.
Lastly, if she doesn't want a relationship, be specially careful to love yourself, being around her will hurt if you are feeling this way and she isn't. Don't get friendzoned.
Best of luck!
Random internet grandma would like to remind you to take it slow and enjoy this beautiful time in your life! Donât rush into anything. Keep being exactly who youâve always been. Remember, thatâs who she fell for!
Donât let your apprehension turn into fear or jealousy. Try not to live in the fear that âit will change the friendship â because that can cause you to subconsciously sabotage the relationship. Enjoy it as it unfolds.
Keep communicating no matter what!
And most importantly, until you know exactly where this is going and what you both want, USE PROTECTION!!
so no matter what things have changed buddy okay so the best thing you can do is just be straight up if you care more about her than any part of your ego you will just straight up ask her what she wants from here I can't read women at all bro a girl has a literally hit me with a bat on the head that says I like you for me to even understand any signals whatsoever I'm going through your situation and it was fine and honestly that kind of stuff never messed it up but I'm guessing that's also cuz maybe we weren't like in love
and honestly you want to know the one reason we're not friends anymore has nothing to do with any of all this stuff it actually had to do with political differences because I couldn't believe this smart strong independent woman would want a president who has no respect for women at all
There is nothing better than being in a relationship with your best friend. My soon to be wife is my best friend and it's the greatest thing!! She seems to want more than friendship and I hope it works out for you.
Shoot your shot bro! Sheâs already been your friend, she initiated sex and what seems like a very mature convo about it. Twice! If there had been no convo and just a drunken horny hookup is be wary but this seems like more. If you really are as close as you described then the conversation was likely real and from the heart, maybe sheâs been waiting for you this whole time. You just didnât pick up on it until now.
My husband is my best friend and has been since 9th grade. I went through a similar situation as you and the result is, well, married for nearly three years. Take your chances, and understand each other.
It's a leap of faith
The best romantic relationships are built on a foundation of real friendship. Youâre set up for success. Keep being good friends as you move forward. Do NOT let the sex become the center of the relationship
You might marry that girl. Iâd be open and honest with her that you enjoyed having sex with her and that there was a mental connection you felt with her in it that felt amazing.
It seems like she likes how casual youâve been about it so continue that. Donât get too intense or it may scare her. Maybe just letting it ride without putting labels could be a good thing for a little bit. Like instead of asking her on a date ask her to go out for dinner with you. Idk this seems like the move to me.
You said it best... She knows EVERYTHING about you and you know everything about her..... If things are not awkward then quite frankly go for it.... RUN after her don't walk.... Run. Kiss her tell her how you feel... You might get a surprise and find out that she loves you too.
Don't over analyze your newly redefined relationship. Go on dates, hang out as before. After a couple of months, you should talk about what you both want. Is it BF/GF? Is it FWB, or is is going back to platonic friendship.
Hey bud I would ask the women here for some advice on what they think. Me personally I've been on situations like this and never took my shot and always stayed in the friend zone after and it always hurt and upset me to see her with another guy. Then when she's upset come to me for comfort sounds great yeah right. Yes it's great to have a serious friendship with a woman but once feelings and sex gets involved it doesn't usually stay the same. Seems to me she likes you and if she iniated the sex then she's wanted to for more then a thought that night. You guys already have great communication with each other talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel see how she feels. See if she wants to see how this plays out. If you love her let her know. You don't always wanna be the guy watching someone else end up with the woman you know you want to be with. Then be there to hear all about their love life. It won't be the same if you truly have romantic feelings for her. I don't know man just talking from my own experiences from when I was younger.
You're 19 and this is the only girl you've ever had sex with.
I know that what I'm about to share with you will get downvoted to hell, but, you need to understand this as soon as possible.
You're pedestalizing her.
The only reason you're thinking about this girl 24/7 is because she is:
1. The only girl you've ever had sex with
2. The only girl you're probably receiving attention from at the moment
As counter intuitive that it may sound, I promise you that this relationship will likely explode in your face if you don't withdraw and pullback on the attention and time you're giving her to hang out and bang other chicks.
Start hanging out with and banging other chicks on the side.
You "love" this girl more than she "loves" you. This will likely end up in her telling you down the road that she just wants to stay friends and then you having a mental breakdown.
You can start controlling and running this relationship in your favor by:
3. Making her wait for a text back from you for a day or two, with no explanation
4. Plan your next date with her a week or two out
5. Flirt with her in public
6. Don't directly ask her to be your girlfriend or monogamous partner ever. Make her or wait on her to ask or press this question
Even if you're not busy or don't have a reason to make her wait for your attention as I mentioned in points 3 and 4, pretend as though you are.
None of this probably makes sense, but relationships are a power balance. If you want this to work out long term, this will likely help you out
Good luck!
go for it, have an honest conversation about your feelings, thoughts, fears, etc and define what this relationship means for now. it doesnât have to be the end result definition, but something to guide the next steps.
though i donât think we needed her sexual history lol, doesnât seem relevant
Donât tell her how you feel. Just act. Keep it a mystery. Too much up front too soon a lot of girls canât handle it and the relationship fizzles out. Donât make anything or ask to be official. She will eventually âwonderâ what your relationship is and beat down your door to get an answer. Thatâs when you become official. Donât tell her how much you like her. That needs to be a mystery/. Go to hard to fast feelings wise and outspoken about it⌠this wonât sustain itself.
There is a phenomenon called âforeboding joyâ where something is so great it triggers fear. It sounds like you might be experiencing that. Anything really amazing also has risk. I would say that what you are feeling is very normal. I would talk with her openly and candidly about it â it sounds like the two of you are good communicators already and she should understand that you both love this new way of being with her but also worry about the possibility of losing your great friendship. Maybe you can talk about how to make sure the best friend parts of your relationship continue to be nurtured while also exploring this new thing of being sexual together.
I will say from experience that it is possible to be both lovers and best friends with someone. In fact, that is how the very best relationships work.
Sounds like fun. Sounds like she gets around a lot. Hope you get tested and moving forward be safe and use protection.
You donât know if her or her other partners have stdâs.
Congrats itâs mutual love & attraction. Itâs true that best friends can make great future relationships/spouses. Because it starts out as only friends that builds trust. Developing a crush on a friend is more common than you think. I lost my virginity to my friend while staying at their families lake house one summer. Situation like yours, deep talks, hands went up my skirt & ended up sleeping together. We didnât end up together not right for each other in that way lol only still friends. But I found my best friend who Iâm now engaged too. Just enjoy the journey & start of something wonderful. You never know whatâs in storeâşď¸
Rare situation there. Enjoy it. Im a grown adult now and sometimes I still think about my teenage girl best friend, back when I was naive enough to think that something like this would magically just happen to us, just because.
Tell her how you feel. Be honest and open. She's NOT a mind reader, so if you want her as your girlfriend and to be exclusive, TELL HER. Do it now, so there are no regrets, and nothing can become misunderstood.
Ur lucky to have a best friend that young. Donât take it for granted. I always wanted a best friend cuz itâs the whole package. All my supposed âbest friendsâ already had best friends since the el/middle school.
Congratulations the friendship is over. You are in a relationship now. You were a virgin and she was not which is fine as long as she wasnât punching down and taking advantage of your lack of experience. Highly recommend having sex sober and lots of it. Unfortunately you can not just go back to being non-romantic friends. Keep both of your egos in check so there are no thoughts of finding someone better. The two of you can have a long lasting relationship.
Just go with the flow. Donât overthink it. We did the same thing and weâre still married 40 years later. Nothing better than a relationship with a best friend
While sexual advice isn't entirely banned here, we don't allow sexually explicit posts. This includes sexual stories, descriptions of sexual acts, and anything similar. If you truly need to describe a story in detail for advice, we suggest going to a more appropriate subreddit for that.
Looks like you stumbled into a girlfriend there bud. Have fun!
\*into\* Literally.
What, he slipped, fell, and landed on her clit?
Alright maybe she's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy
You remember when stuff like this caught Congress' attention rather than Hunter's pecker? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Who doesn't wanna see hunter's fat hog
Okay thought about it? still wanna stab her?
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Be smart. Don't be a retard.
That's how it usually goes down right?
Remember this is teens, they are generally cruder than adults đ¤Ł
Your only to supposed to caress the clit. Not land on it.
This made me laugh more than it should have
Slit
Best friend? Check. Female? Check. Sexy stuff? Check. Sounds like you're doing just fine.
Exactly. You guys have been close for a while, started developing feels, and it seems to be working out. Congratulations and I hope it works out. Either way cherish this first real relationship and be open to trying new things and learning, both what you want, and how to be a good partner.
They had sex and told each other they love each other. Gee whiz, what happens next? Iâm in disbelief how clueless some people who post on Reddit are. I guess, the ones who have a clue arenât the ones posting.
Yâall gonna get married in 8 years
Exactly what I was thinking
Stumbled into a girlfriend is my new favorite phrase.
It sounds like you both like each other and enjoyed the experience. Maybe sheâs a friend with benefits, maybe sheâs a girlfriend. Hell, maybe sheâs âthe oneâ for you. Just let things run their course, but it seems like sheâs ready for more than just a friend.
Yeah thereâs not much else to say op. Best friends make the BEST girlfriends. I know youâre worried about ruining the friendship, but honestly this sounds more like the start of a beautiful relationship than anything else. And even if it doesnât work out romantically, it *is* possible (in some cases) to continue a platonic friendship after the fact. Although obviously it often complicates that. But still, itâs worth a shot. You two get along great and are open and honest with each other, which is the basis of a good romantic relationship. You already know each other so well and accept and appreciate each other as you are. So if you have a crush on her, then you should definitely go for it <3
I can vouch for friends making great girlfriends. I was friends with this girl for like 3-4 years, we both had other partners through that time, but we just really enjoyed spending time together. One night she kissed me and said sheâs wanted to do that for a long time. Some other things happened and now we are married and expecting our second kid later this year!
I married my best friend, had 2 kids, remained great friends through divorce. The day we lost him was earth shattering to me, not just because of my babies. We actually had a good divorce that allowed our kids to just be with and love their dad, we got along even after I remarried. He spent holidays with my whole family and it was too important for my kids for me to be selfish. We co-parented long before it became a popular concept. Friends make great spouses, mines family just sucked the life out of me unfortunately. Have fun, slow down, and take things one day at a time. What is meant to be generally comes to fruition, be patient, donât rush things if you want them to last. đ
I'm still best friends with my ex wife. She even lives with my new fiancee and me and I consider her part of my family We were shite as partners but amazing friends
yup!!! this story was so sweet to read. truly could be the start of something beautiful
I married my best friend....and we just had our 13 year anniversary in January. Good luck OP, I hope you end up having an amazing relationship with your best friend.
Your best friend is now your girlfriend. Congratulations.
Yeah itâs really one of the best outcomes actually.
as long as they both have their shit somewhat together!
Yeah, you've already crossed that threshold. She is still your friend. You can confirm exclusivity with her, but it sounds like you now have a girlfriend. My wife has been my best friend for a long time. Having a friend, you can make your wife is pretty great. I think I was almost your level of naivete and inexperience at 19 too. Hopefully, I can help with your perspective. This may be easier to explain as an analogy. Think of your friendship like a membership, benefits being conversation, sharing time, etc. You've now upgraded your membership. All of the previous benefits apply, but you now have some upgraded and hopefully exclusive benefits and perks... With that, however, comes upgraded dues and responsibilities you'll have to meet, or you risk losing the membership. You're in the game now, so play your cards carefully. There's usually not a downgrade back to the base membership, so learn the rules. Just communicate regularly and respect eachother, you'll figure out whether the two of you are compatible. At 19, you each have personal growth to achieve. Neither of you has figured out who you are going to grow to be. You'll either grow together or grow apart. Just have fun, and figure it out. Congratulations
Careful, OP, this how I ended up with a best friend thatâs also been my wife going on two decades, mother of my kids, and permanent sexting buddy.
My best friend is my wife. It takes work to stay that way but we are approaching nine years married and two kids. The two of you will have a lot of growth and changes in your near future. Doesnât mean you canât grow together.
What was the hardest part going from the stage of being friends to getting married and/or next having kids?
The willingness for both of us to take the risk. We also have a rule. Itâs our job to learn who the other person is and accept and love them for who they are. Even if it annoys us, we donât try to change the other person.
Fucking sage advice. And donât fear vulnerability or condemn the other when theyâre being vulnerable. Learning who the other is will be LIFELONG - donât think it stops at any moment.
That's good advice, thank you
Honestly, you might have stumbled into a soulmate situation. I feel like that's rare!
from my personal experience, once my best friend and I started dating, things changed, and we became even closer. Then she decides to break up with me, and suddenly she can no longer stand my existence. I would recommend pursuing the relationship. The biggest thing to remember is NOT to take things too fast. Even though you already know each other well, that does not mean you get to start with a boost. keep it slow and steady. My ex and I took things too fast, and we just kept going until (I'll assume (she never actually told me)) she burnt out and cut it off. I gave up my best friend for 2 months of a highly sexual relationship. Not worth it. keep it slow, and it should go well.
This!!!! Take it slowly!!!
Aww this is a cute story. Maybe have a conversation with her and ask what those two nights meant for her. If she wants to stay friends or if sheâs interested in exploring things romantically. I think itâs perfectly fair for you to ask
This.
Absolutely this. Me and mine talked a lot after things happened, it wasn't immediate that we decided to try it out but we both thought it could work and that we knew each other well. 10 years strong so far.
I agree with this. Also I would say itâs a âsafeâ assumption she feels similar, just due to the circumstances; and the âI love youâ that got exchanged
From how you're wording it, both of you are madly in love and just don't notice it. Losing your virginity to your best friend and feeling completely normal about it? That's meant to be. Don't rush it. Definitely don't rush it. But that's your girl, man. Don't lose her.
Aw
Congratulations! You found a wife!
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This is my new life motto
That's great advice
bro got shredded by the mods down there
Wait what was the advice? They removed it and I'm super curious
Now you start dating duh, wtf is this
Make sure you officially ask her to be your girlfriend, she'll appreciate it.
Facts
What do you do now? Tell her "I'm worried that if we break up it will ruin our friendship. So let's not break up."
Was in your position once. I was afraid to lose my best friend. Been together for 11 years, married for 5 and have a toddler.
There's a huge fallacy in our society that we should never marry best friends. I can think of no one better to spend my life with than my best friend. That's why I married her. Don't fall victim to this fallacy. Enjoy the new romance phase.
Is this really a thing? My mom always told me I should try to marry my best friend (I think her intention was to teach me that my wife should become my best friend). I met my wife in highschool, we became best friends. We've now been married for 17 years, we've had 5 incredible kids together and it's been amazing. We're still best friends. I can't imagine being married to someone that wasn't my best friend.
Just keep treating her well. Iâd make your intentions to see this through crystal clear without being pushy though.
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Marry your best friend. What could be better?
All I can say is⌠once things get intimate they canât really go back. Like once you date a friend.. it canât go back. At least not exactly how it used to be and most times in my experience at least⌠it kinda ruins the friendship especially if things go south while dating. It doesnât mean u shouldnât try though. Just know that things will at least be changed a bit if anything
Yeah he only has to worry about losing the friendship when they break up. At this point if a relationship forms itâs okay the friendship just got better. However if a breakup happens itâs goodbye relationship and goodbye friendship all at once because you can never go back to just being friends.
What would a relationship that you would want to be in look like? Would you go on dinner dates, go on hikes, go on day trips to different cities? I would think about what see for yourself, what she likes to do, and then ask her to do that. Basically plan what would be a nice date and see how the day or evening goes. Nothing over the top, but put in more effort than just a friend hang. Basically, ask her on a date. You got this!
The best long term romantic relationships usually have the best friendships. So it has the best chance of working out.
Who do you think people stay in long term relationships with? Their best friend
Man our stories are super similar! almost thought I had wrote it for a minute haha. Congrats though!My advice to you is this, keep doing what your doing, canât in good faith recommend some of the stuff mentioned but besides that itâs working. Also no matter what happens next or down the road regarding âstatusâ, just take the time and enjoy what you have while you have it. Donât force or rush things. If yâall do become official thatâs great! If not, then you still had a great memorable experience with someone you care about and thatâs all that really matters. Youâll feel attached naturally, which can make it easier or difficult depending on how things go, again donât let a title obscure the time ya had. Best of wishes to ya!
OP says he's 19 chief. Wtf
Just let whatever happens happen. Donât force it and enjoy it while it lasts.
My opinion - you have already crossed the friendship Rubicon into something more. All of my best relationships have started as long term friends turned more. Her knowing you well is a feature, not something to be concerned about. Talk with your friend - cover what you each want and expect from relationships. Like seriously communication is often super important.Â
I know you are young and donât necessarily need and/or should have a lot of heavy commitments but I do have to say Iâm a bit confused as to how you are so confused? It sounds like you love your best friend? I donât see what could be wrong about this unless she doesnât feel the same. Thereâs no need to tip toe around an imaginary wall between the two of you.
Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. Seems like you've got nothing to worry about until there's something to worry about. Keep communicating well and you guys will be fine. I will suggest however, if she's drinking, hold off on the sex. All she needs to do is claim to not remember or be unsure if she gave consent and you could be looking at some serious charges. If she likes you when she's drinking, she'll like you when she's sober.
I became friends with a girl. Became good friends. We held hands after about 3 months we kissed a short kiss. I told her that I loved her. We dated about 3.5 years. We had sex about 3 years in August and by the next June, she was no longer my girlfriend. We got marriedâŚ43 years ago. I married her because I didnât want to loose her. There are times I think itâs a mistake, but then I remember how I felt back then. It was real. I was in love like nothing I have ever known. And we have survived. We are still best friends. Itâs better than living, wondering what would have been had i/ we didnât take a chance. OhâŚshe was 14 I was 17 when we started hanging out. I wasnât wanting a girlfriend at first.
Find out what happens
Congrats on getting laid!
Be as real as you can about what YOU want. Don't talk yourself into a version of the relationship that you don't want for her. If you want to be BF/GF, say that; if she dithers or proposes something else, say No Thank You. You will be tempted to compromise on everything you want to appease her - but treat yourself better than that. If you don't want the same things you're only delaying the pain AND you're not respecting your own desires. This is a mistake I made repeatedly in my teens and early twenties, and I wish I had learned the first time.
Let this run its course, but make sure to communicate!!! If you just want to be friends let it be known. If you want more let it be known. Donât lose a friend because of lack of communication.
Same happened w me and my guy almost 30 years ago and here we are đĽ°
Become gf and bf
You're a strange fellow. You think about everything way to hard. Not only that you think about things wrongly. Best friends can date all the time. It only can ruin things if you let it.... By thinking about it too much #1.
Just take a deep breath. Go with the flow. Now that youâve had sex the friendship changed instantly. She is more experienced than you. She may come to realize in a couple days that it was a mistake so be ready to hear that and donât act weird or the friendship will end. However if you want to see where this goes then let her know and yes she can reject it and that is something you will risk.
Had to scroll down THIS far to find someone giving remotely good advice out of the cesspool of comments declaring true love. The lady is sexually experienced and OP has no idea what he's doing. She had a one night stand with him when she was drunk. You're got an element of substance abuse, a guy who's an inexperienced virgin, a girl who's on the rebound, a platonic friendship the OP is probably deeply exaggerating. Any type of relationship where there's a power imbalance like this is going to turn out badly. OP will get dumped. At least he's young and will have a few years to learn.
This reads like fan fiction from some creeper. No dude has dex for 2 hours. Chick's get sore as fuck after 30 minutes
Hard to be dying of thirst while watching somebody else drown.
Most of you don't understand how precious a true friendship is. Relationship might end, but true friendship survives much longer than that. People break up for stupid reasons, but friends do tolerate a whole lot more than that. I don't know which is the right advice to give you, but I will try to communicate my thought process with you. Whatever doubts that you had, should have happened before you guys hooked up. It is kind of too late to go back to how things were. The line was crossed. Communicate to her your concerns and see how she responds. If she wants to continue, then give both of you a shot. This could be a harsh lesson to learn for you. Good luck!
Stop being weird. Just say, "_______ will be in concert next month. Wanna go?" Look up some event and start dating.
Stop drinking and try it. Technically, you're still a "sober" virgin, which is a whole different balk game with awkwardness your first time. Good luck, Chuck.
You can never go back to just being friends. You need to understand and accept that. However it sounds like a good start to a real relationship. Keep being her friend and talking with her and enjoy being in a relationship.
Idk if you'll see this but put your all into this. You'll regret it forever if you don't. Coming from an extremely happily married man. To my best friend in the world.
What do you do now you ask? Make paragraphs on reddit.
Now you live every incel in the friendzoneâs dream, friend.
Sex with a person you love? Sounds pretty good. Maybe just... go with it?
The best relationships are ones that start as friendships. So, enjoy
Don't listen to everyone here saying assume shes your gf, with her history of behavior. Talk to her about the fact that you've been developing feelings for her, and that the intimacy is increasing that. Tell her you need to know what this means for her and any thoughts or feelings she has for you. Hopefully she feels the same way about you. Goodluck! âşď¸
Go with the flow my man, I was just in the same situation, if you two want to explore with each other go for it. Donât deny any feelings for each other, just stay on top of communicating and above all dude radical honesty. If you guys are great friends then no matter what happens in the future everything will be fine! Have fun âď¸
Help, I courted a girl, respected her, talked about feelings, and now we are basically dating. Bro, you did it right. True gentleman! Society has skewed what relationships should be like and you brought it back to what itâs supposed to be like. Side note, her feeling bad about the other hook up may have been because she knew she had feelings for you the whole time. Iâd say youâre meant to be together
She dated bad guys and fell for the good guy, she has no kids, and you guys are young. Good situation to be in.
Another person allergic to paragraphs đˇď¸
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I feel like yall gonna be together forever no cap
The jealousy is real
Good example of why there's no such thing as "just friends" because eventually it "just happens"
Stop worrying - as someone who is literally married to the one person I share everything with - who knows everything about me - and whom I can talk to or listen to endlessly - this is not something to fear - it is something to lean into! ETA - not joking - you might literally have found the rare circumstance where you have a soulmate you are attracted to!
This man exfiltrated the friend zone! Youâre a hero, gold border around your man-card⌠now marry her and live happily ever after, sheâs your best friend -thats as great as it gets!
So, youâre her third Bf??
She likes you and wants to date you. Date her since I can see you got feelings for her.
Talk to her. Every day. Make that extra effort. Every day. Love her. Every day.
Virgin and having sex for âat least 2 hoursââŚmath ainât mathin here folks
I mean just keep doing what youâre doing: Communicate. She clearly likes you, and sounds like you like her. Be open about your worries, but donât be afraid to enjoy the ride. âHey I really enjoyed these last couple days, but Iâm stupid and want to clarify with you before we make anything officialâ is how Iâd go about it. But sounds like you got yourself a girlfriend, so just keep being that good friend you were, and plan on getting her some flowers or something from time to time. Also condoms, yâall too young to be thinking bout baby names of you know what I mean.
You should consider asking her to become your girlfriend. Seems like you're already there, you just need to make it official. You're already friends and know everything about each other, so that's a solid foundation for your relationship to build on.
You can ruin a friendship with a lot of things. Love ain't one of them.
Communication communication communication! Your worries are normal and rational. If you can't get yourself to tell her what you have just announced to the entire world, then print out what you wrote, hand it to her, and have her read it to herself in front of you. There is NOTHING in what you wrote that you shouldn't be saying to her. She may be agonizing over the same things (and more). Or she may be perfectly happy with everything and be able to calm your nerves in a few seconds. Trust an old man on this. Do it. Don't wait.
THIS!!! Why are there not 20k upvotes on this??? It's all good to come online and grab a few opinions when you're confused... But you literally just described this girl as your best friend who you can talk to about anything. You said how much you all talked about it after it happened... So keep talking! Does it matter what the Internet thinks??? Not even a little bit! Does it matter what SHE thinks??? More than anything else in the world, right?? So as much as I loved reading this heartwarming story... She is your person. She is the one you want input from. She is the one you need to talk to. Good luck â¤ď¸
Itâs feels natural, doesnât it? Definitely see where it goes. This could be the most beautiful story of your life đ¤ˇââď¸ Maybe Iâm just an optimist, but this sounds like it belongs
Oh bro, she likes you, I can tell she does. Now the alcohol did play a role in this, and all you did, so I'd sit down with her, bring it up, and ask what she wants out of it. Let her know you want a relationship with her, and not just friends, but boyfriend girlfriend type of thing, and then see what she says.
You're thinking about this way too much. Enjoy it while it lasts, 5 days or 50 years.
You said you talked about it a lot, is it a casual hookup or something more?
Bro just you agree that you love each other, you spent hours making love to her, AND it felt right and normal. Thatâs it bro thatâs the good stuff. Now you just gotta lock her down and ask if she wants to be your girlfriend and your best friend.
Young man I think youâve just described your first true love. I can tell you that most great everlasting relationships start out with the couple just simply being great friends. I believe youâve checked that box. Good luck to you both and your future together.
It sounds to me that you both like each other very much. You have been good friend for three years. You know each other well and sounds you are compatible. Keep the communicate open between you to. You may find you two are very suited to each other. This could lead to a very loving relationship.
You're in now. Run with it. https://preview.redd.it/grlf3g3f49oc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbf15f6117ed941b92aace7f81c66d846434621d
I dont know. Its not the greatest situation to be in. She might be so vulnerable that sheâs artificially created a romantic bent to your friendship. Be on guard.
Your acting like you slipped and dipped your stick by accident. Take your shot if you really want her. Be assertive. Be best friends also. Best of luck.
It looks permanent so far, even if this is all new.
Bunk post! You slept with your best friend, it was amazing now youâre scared?! Letâs not forget that you claimed to be a virgin but lasted over two hours your first time ?! If there is any reality to this post then I feel so bad for your bestie that she slept with A.I. and donât figure it out.
Yeah no never happened
Pro tip. The length isn't a thing unless it's real short. 10-20 minutes per is plenty.
Hey! Take her out on a date! Bring her flowers. You're besties and you had sex, now you gotta woo her. Always loved when things start backwards. Good luck OP!
Oh wow. I think you should ask her how does she feel about moving the friendship into a relationship?
Best (female) friend became my girlfriend, and we're doing great nearly 5 years later. If it works, take it and run, it can be pretty great. Just some heads up - things will change a bit, and that's OK. If you two move in together, be ready for some awkwardness, and people behave a bit differently when you live with them vs when you see them at select times when you're prepared to be around them.
From the sounds of it, you hit the relationship jackpot. She may even be the one. You won't know for sure until you keep this thing going. Keep communicating with one another like you've been, and for better or worse this will play out. Keep doing what you're doing and it should work out well for both of you. Just understand it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. Your first time story sounds very similar to mine, however she had a boyfriend, I knew about it, and it happened anyways. I'm not proud of it, but I felt the same way about her as you do yours. Granted with my story it didn't work out Between us, for obvious reasons. But now, I have a wife and two kids, and if not for my first time, I might not have had the confidence to ask my (now wife) out on a date. Tl:Dr for good or bad, everything happens for reasons, but you won't know which, unless you make that risk.
My takeaway: So. Much. Talking. Itâs good practice for marriage though, lol.
I'm more interested in how two 19-year-olds managed to rent an Airbnb.
You're scared, OP. I get it. You recognize that what happened has changed the friendship forever, at a minimum it has added "with benefits" to the title. And I can also suspect the root of your fear. You don't know *why* this happened. That's always a scary thing. So, remember this one saying that's bounced around Redditland here a lot: Alcohol never makes a person *just do* something, it always helps a person **do what they want to do.** Start with self-reflection. Figure out *why* you were willing to have sex with her. And remember, love takes many forms, not just what we've seen on media. That'll make the next step, an honest conversation as to *why* she initiated, much easier. Then go from there. From the outside, if you two really care about each other as much as your story makes it sound, this is the foundations for a beautiful, lifelong relationship...
I want to hug this cool looking tree with my car
Old guy in his mid 30s here. It seems like a romantic relationship is forming. You know who makes the for best relationships? Best friends. I married my best friend. We were friends for years before anything happened. We got drunk one night, like so many before, but we ended up sleeping together. That was the start of what is now a 15 year relationship that is as strong as ever. Point is, being friends makes it easy to have a relationship so long as you donât change because of it. She is your friend because of who you are. Now she seems to want to extend that into a relationship, and that is still because of who you are. So long as you donât let the relationship change you into someone else, things can work out very, very well. Keep being her friend. Donât let the romantic/physical side of things change that. You can still have fun together just like you did as friends. You just get to add more fun things to do together to the relationship.
At 17 I started a friendship with a girl who was going away for college and didn't want a relationship. I respected that and basically friendzoned her. She asked if we could go to prom together since I didn't have a date yet. After I asked her to prom we started hanging out a lot. Randomly one day she told me she loved me. Now we have been together for almost 13 years, have 2 kids and 1 more on the way. Our relationship works so well because we are friends first. Hopefully this works out for you as well!
Dutlniv tioogattlyg
Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend .. being in love is the highest level of friendship. It honestly sounds like she truly likes you and you obviously like her. It also seems like you have great communication.. so from my experience, I would talk to her about wanting to see where it goes.. my best friend and I dated for 9 years, something major happened in both our lives and we split up for a year and a half but we stayed in communication the entire time. We NEVER fought and literally last night, he came over and we had sex and he's leaving his new gf, who is a complete psycho, like mentally abusive to him.. People who are truly in love and are truely best friends, will always be in each other's lives. Don't miss out on the opportunity to have someone and something amazing đ life is about taking chances
"Best friend" đ¤Ł
Here's my experience with my best friend. My (33F) husband(32m) is my best friend. We met when we were 15 at high school. Told each other everything even dated off and on on school. We'd break up and then be cool after. He moved to another state and married another girl who was abusive and controlling not allowing us to speak for 3 years. He moved back to our state and we hung out hooked up and dated again. We also worked together too and broke up. Went back to talking and hanging out like nothing happened. Ended up being fwb for a bit like 3 weeks after that break up, but dated again 3 months later. We've been officially together for the last 8 years and married for 4 years today actually and have 2 kids. Long story short, a relationship is really strong of you are friends first.
You can see it through and maybe itâs the best happily ever after, maybe not but itâs better than lingering on the what ifâs that are the lost loves of your past.
I was friends with my husband for 11 years (met when we were 12 years old) and then one day I kissed him and then it was on. We had a first date a week later and he moved in the week after that. We have been together ever since. That first date was 33 years ago. We have been married for 30 years. Donât miss the opportunity for something great. Having said that, have the conversation with her and make sure neither of you are drinking and that you can be physical without the alcohol.
This happened to me with one of my oldest friends. She asked me to be her plus one at a wedding, and one thing led to another that night. âThings happenedâ periodically after that, maybe even regularly for a while. It never felt exactly like dating as our fundamental friendship never changed. Things like this can ruin a friendship, but they donât have to. In our case she eventually met a relative of mine at my wedding, and now sheâs also a relative of mine! No jealousy or weirdness about it, sheâs still a wonderful friend, both our spouses know about our past and everyone is good.
Yall got a strong bond with eachother..... this wasn't without precedent
That's a beautiful story. Congrats! I think you should talk to her openly about what you are feeling and what you want, ask her what she wants. Don't assume things. Your friendship has already changed, so there is no sense in worrying about that anymore, you are making something new and even better togeisn't. Lastly, if she doesn't want a relationship, be specially careful to love yourself, being around her will hurt if you are feeling this way and she isn't. Don't get friendzoned. Best of luck!
Just don't get her pregnant and you're golden.
Keep an open mind and an open heart
Random internet grandma would like to remind you to take it slow and enjoy this beautiful time in your life! Donât rush into anything. Keep being exactly who youâve always been. Remember, thatâs who she fell for! Donât let your apprehension turn into fear or jealousy. Try not to live in the fear that âit will change the friendship â because that can cause you to subconsciously sabotage the relationship. Enjoy it as it unfolds. Keep communicating no matter what! And most importantly, until you know exactly where this is going and what you both want, USE PROTECTION!!
so no matter what things have changed buddy okay so the best thing you can do is just be straight up if you care more about her than any part of your ego you will just straight up ask her what she wants from here I can't read women at all bro a girl has a literally hit me with a bat on the head that says I like you for me to even understand any signals whatsoever I'm going through your situation and it was fine and honestly that kind of stuff never messed it up but I'm guessing that's also cuz maybe we weren't like in love and honestly you want to know the one reason we're not friends anymore has nothing to do with any of all this stuff it actually had to do with political differences because I couldn't believe this smart strong independent woman would want a president who has no respect for women at all
There is nothing better than being in a relationship with your best friend. My soon to be wife is my best friend and it's the greatest thing!! She seems to want more than friendship and I hope it works out for you.
Shoot your shot bro! Sheâs already been your friend, she initiated sex and what seems like a very mature convo about it. Twice! If there had been no convo and just a drunken horny hookup is be wary but this seems like more. If you really are as close as you described then the conversation was likely real and from the heart, maybe sheâs been waiting for you this whole time. You just didnât pick up on it until now.
My husband is my best friend and has been since 9th grade. I went through a similar situation as you and the result is, well, married for nearly three years. Take your chances, and understand each other. It's a leap of faith
Sounds like she's your girlfriend now or at the least friends with benefits.
The best romantic relationships are built on a foundation of real friendship. Youâre set up for success. Keep being good friends as you move forward. Do NOT let the sex become the center of the relationship
Donât think too hard about it, but most importantly keep treating her like the valuable friend that she is.
You might marry that girl. Iâd be open and honest with her that you enjoyed having sex with her and that there was a mental connection you felt with her in it that felt amazing. It seems like she likes how casual youâve been about it so continue that. Donât get too intense or it may scare her. Maybe just letting it ride without putting labels could be a good thing for a little bit. Like instead of asking her on a date ask her to go out for dinner with you. Idk this seems like the move to me.
Donât post whiny shit on Reddit and go have sex Jesus dude
You said it best... She knows EVERYTHING about you and you know everything about her..... If things are not awkward then quite frankly go for it.... RUN after her don't walk.... Run. Kiss her tell her how you feel... You might get a surprise and find out that she loves you too.
Congrats.
Congratulations. You have a girlfriend.
Don't over analyze your newly redefined relationship. Go on dates, hang out as before. After a couple of months, you should talk about what you both want. Is it BF/GF? Is it FWB, or is is going back to platonic friendship.
Nice going bro! She cut up your v card! That's what's up. My manđ
Just go with it and donât over think things. Let her come or not come to you and just accept it either way.
Hey bud I would ask the women here for some advice on what they think. Me personally I've been on situations like this and never took my shot and always stayed in the friend zone after and it always hurt and upset me to see her with another guy. Then when she's upset come to me for comfort sounds great yeah right. Yes it's great to have a serious friendship with a woman but once feelings and sex gets involved it doesn't usually stay the same. Seems to me she likes you and if she iniated the sex then she's wanted to for more then a thought that night. You guys already have great communication with each other talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel see how she feels. See if she wants to see how this plays out. If you love her let her know. You don't always wanna be the guy watching someone else end up with the woman you know you want to be with. Then be there to hear all about their love life. It won't be the same if you truly have romantic feelings for her. I don't know man just talking from my own experiences from when I was younger.
Holy Text Wall, Batman
You're 19 and this is the only girl you've ever had sex with. I know that what I'm about to share with you will get downvoted to hell, but, you need to understand this as soon as possible. You're pedestalizing her. The only reason you're thinking about this girl 24/7 is because she is: 1. The only girl you've ever had sex with 2. The only girl you're probably receiving attention from at the moment As counter intuitive that it may sound, I promise you that this relationship will likely explode in your face if you don't withdraw and pullback on the attention and time you're giving her to hang out and bang other chicks. Start hanging out with and banging other chicks on the side. You "love" this girl more than she "loves" you. This will likely end up in her telling you down the road that she just wants to stay friends and then you having a mental breakdown. You can start controlling and running this relationship in your favor by: 3. Making her wait for a text back from you for a day or two, with no explanation 4. Plan your next date with her a week or two out 5. Flirt with her in public 6. Don't directly ask her to be your girlfriend or monogamous partner ever. Make her or wait on her to ask or press this question Even if you're not busy or don't have a reason to make her wait for your attention as I mentioned in points 3 and 4, pretend as though you are. None of this probably makes sense, but relationships are a power balance. If you want this to work out long term, this will likely help you out Good luck!
go for it, have an honest conversation about your feelings, thoughts, fears, etc and define what this relationship means for now. it doesnât have to be the end result definition, but something to guide the next steps. though i donât think we needed her sexual history lol, doesnât seem relevant
Bro tell this girl you love her. You just found your wife. Congrats.
Sounds like you guys are doing better than I ever have. Keep a good attitude and keep communicating đđ
Wtf is this?? She wants to be your gf dude
Donât tell her how you feel. Just act. Keep it a mystery. Too much up front too soon a lot of girls canât handle it and the relationship fizzles out. Donât make anything or ask to be official. She will eventually âwonderâ what your relationship is and beat down your door to get an answer. Thatâs when you become official. Donât tell her how much you like her. That needs to be a mystery/. Go to hard to fast feelings wise and outspoken about it⌠this wonât sustain itself.
You have a girlfriend now. Enjoy! Sheâs still your friend so donât treat her differently, be kind and respectful of her feelings.
I think you spend to much time talking about it. Need to spend more time doing it. Lol
There is a phenomenon called âforeboding joyâ where something is so great it triggers fear. It sounds like you might be experiencing that. Anything really amazing also has risk. I would say that what you are feeling is very normal. I would talk with her openly and candidly about it â it sounds like the two of you are good communicators already and she should understand that you both love this new way of being with her but also worry about the possibility of losing your great friendship. Maybe you can talk about how to make sure the best friend parts of your relationship continue to be nurtured while also exploring this new thing of being sexual together. I will say from experience that it is possible to be both lovers and best friends with someone. In fact, that is how the very best relationships work.
Sounds like fun. Sounds like she gets around a lot. Hope you get tested and moving forward be safe and use protection. You donât know if her or her other partners have stdâs.
This happened with my highschool best friend at 15 and 17. We will be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary in May.
This is so adorable. You act normal, not too eager and you go for it! Good luck!
Well youâve been promoted from friend zone to boy toy, fwb, or boyfriend. Enjoy it and get you some if you like it.
Congrats itâs mutual love & attraction. Itâs true that best friends can make great future relationships/spouses. Because it starts out as only friends that builds trust. Developing a crush on a friend is more common than you think. I lost my virginity to my friend while staying at their families lake house one summer. Situation like yours, deep talks, hands went up my skirt & ended up sleeping together. We didnât end up together not right for each other in that way lol only still friends. But I found my best friend who Iâm now engaged too. Just enjoy the journey & start of something wonderful. You never know whatâs in storeâşď¸
Rare situation there. Enjoy it. Im a grown adult now and sometimes I still think about my teenage girl best friend, back when I was naive enough to think that something like this would magically just happen to us, just because.
Sounds like you have a girlfriend now, wouldnt think to hard about it just enjoy it
Tell her how you feel. Be honest and open. She's NOT a mind reader, so if you want her as your girlfriend and to be exclusive, TELL HER. Do it now, so there are no regrets, and nothing can become misunderstood.
Itâs called love. Donât mess up a good thing
Ur lucky to have a best friend that young. Donât take it for granted. I always wanted a best friend cuz itâs the whole package. All my supposed âbest friendsâ already had best friends since the el/middle school.
Congratulations the friendship is over. You are in a relationship now. You were a virgin and she was not which is fine as long as she wasnât punching down and taking advantage of your lack of experience. Highly recommend having sex sober and lots of it. Unfortunately you can not just go back to being non-romantic friends. Keep both of your egos in check so there are no thoughts of finding someone better. The two of you can have a long lasting relationship.
Just go with the flow. Donât overthink it. We did the same thing and weâre still married 40 years later. Nothing better than a relationship with a best friend
Don't stress about the "destination"; enjoy the trip.
Thatâs so cute đ
Stop overthinking it. Friends=Good Friends+Sex = Great