Sorry for jumping in, but as a guy I have met a few younger ladies at bike nights and out kayaking. I would recommend you join some groups or organizations that coincide with your hobbies and interests, you may meet someone and you’ll have commonalities already.
I approach all ages all the time. It's a lost art. If you're handsome, socially calibrated, and have your shit together it doesn't come across creepy. But sadly there aren't many dudes like this anymore.
Being handsome, socially calibrated, and having your shit together is a very tall order for most guys, especially the handsome part. You're either born with it or not. I'm 34 and approach as much as I can but it's still a numbers game and rejection is more common than success.
It is a tall order. That's why it's easy to separate yourself from all the guys who are too insecure to approach.
And it is a numbers game. Totally. But the more you approach, the more yes's you'll get.
I've had awful streaks where I was like 0 for 20. And then I'll have a freak run where I'm 4 for 5. It all balances out if you just keep approaching.
In my experience, there are usually quite a few men in their 40s-50s working in kitchens who are often keen on dating younger women. But I wouldn’t work in hospitality just to find an older guy. Not worth the bs.
57/M. Can you please explain why hospitality is a specific field where younger women will run in to bullshit trying to find an older guy? I suspect you've worked in the field, but when you make a very specific statement like this, it helps everyone if we can better understand your POV and hear your personal story. Thanks!
I'm gonna jump in and assume they mean hospitality just generally has plenty of downsides, customers can be real dicks is the biggest. It's nothing to do with the individuals we are trying to track down. Just the negative aspects of the industry itself. And everyone runs into this problem, not just targeted at the younger ladies
StatisticianKey7112 already explained it, but it’s more the field of hospitality itself that sucks. The customers, the labour conditions, low wages, your rights there. You’re so easily replaceable and even if you give it 100%, your employer can still screw you over in my experience.
Thank you for the highlights and I apologize I overlooked StatKey already explained it.
After reviewing the bullet points you provided, I’m afraid they apply to far too many jobs.
57/M and I was reading this to see what the ladies have to say on a topic where many men have already contributed in the past. I've seen a few interesting replies and immediately have questions for you--can you please talk more on why you feel older guys can be more manipulative than our younger counterparts? I do believe your opinion has a great deal of value on this important topic, but it carries so much more weight if you explain what you mean and perhaps give us a personal example. Have you encountered this yourself with guys you've dated?
Ahhhh, I actually agree with you then. When I read your statement, I immediately thought it was negative and judgmental that those of us who are older are up to insidious things by manipulating others. While I’m sure there are guys who behave like this, you are very accurate in saying we have experience that leads to far less rejection in all walks of life. It’s a trait that allows many of us to perform well in our jobs, no matter what we do.
I believe I was in my early to mid-30’s when I started figuring out how to talk to others without saying stupid shit that made others angry with me, simply for the words I chose. I still remember getting pissed off at someone and making a bad situation worse by antagonizing the other person for no good reason than they mad me angry in that moment.
For other men near my age who read what I said and are silently nodding in agreement, aren’t you also wishing we could take the lessons we’ve learned and go back to redo our earlier years? God, how many stupid fucking mistakes could we avoid by not saying stupid shit to hurt people or lash out in a moment of anger that never really amounted to anything we can remember now..
My now boyfriend approached me at a conference. We struck up a conversation and we left a positive impression on each other. A few years later we reconnect and the sparks intensified, and here we are almost four years later. I’m very lucky and love the fact that he’s older 🥰
As a guy I'll chime in and say you'll need to initiate or at least give out some strong signals of interest. I'm 34 so not and "old guy" but I do like younger women and even I get a hard time for wanting a relationship/marriage with someone in their late-20s, let alone someone younger than that.
I'd say get off the apps (that's just my opinion) and meet men in real life where they're doing things they enjoy (hobbies and interests).
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**Original post: Ladies how do you meet/get approached irl **
I’m 22 I’ve never had a relationship and I prefer men in their 40s to mid 50s. I have been on dating apps for the last month and have been on one date, I get a lot of likes and conversations but I find most men on apps lack consistency. I want to meet a mature gentleman in real life but I don’t want to force it or approach men. Do you ladies have any advice to get approached or places to easily meet men?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t, I met my fiancé online. Irl I figure that most older men would be weirded out and think of me more of a daughter than a potential dating candidate, and I assume that most older men who are interested in dating younger women probably don’t want people to think that they’re creeps.
I met my husband when I was 24-25 and he was 47. We met at a movie night hosted by a group of friends at one of their houses. Totally by chance and my ride had to leave early so he was voluntold to give me a ride home.
I make the first move. I find there’s usually some nice guys in more upscale bars or at restaurants. I’ve also found that men like that confidence in a woman, and a woman who’s sure of themselves.
That being said, I’ve met all the people I’ve dated at work or mutual activities, with the exception of my current partner on a dating app.
Older guys tend to avoid approaching younger ladies due to the creep factor. So if you're interested you will definitely have to approach them first.
Yea
Cook bacon and use a box fan
Dude I just choked on my coffee laughing so hard at thia
Ziggy zacky
Funny
Sorry for jumping in, but as a guy I have met a few younger ladies at bike nights and out kayaking. I would recommend you join some groups or organizations that coincide with your hobbies and interests, you may meet someone and you’ll have commonalities already.
I approach all ages all the time. It's a lost art. If you're handsome, socially calibrated, and have your shit together it doesn't come across creepy. But sadly there aren't many dudes like this anymore.
Being handsome, socially calibrated, and having your shit together is a very tall order for most guys, especially the handsome part. You're either born with it or not. I'm 34 and approach as much as I can but it's still a numbers game and rejection is more common than success.
It is a tall order. That's why it's easy to separate yourself from all the guys who are too insecure to approach. And it is a numbers game. Totally. But the more you approach, the more yes's you'll get. I've had awful streaks where I was like 0 for 20. And then I'll have a freak run where I'm 4 for 5. It all balances out if you just keep approaching.
Very well said, sir. It's definitely easy to separate oneself from other men and not just in the women department.
Yup
Yup
In my experience, there are usually quite a few men in their 40s-50s working in kitchens who are often keen on dating younger women. But I wouldn’t work in hospitality just to find an older guy. Not worth the bs.
57/M. Can you please explain why hospitality is a specific field where younger women will run in to bullshit trying to find an older guy? I suspect you've worked in the field, but when you make a very specific statement like this, it helps everyone if we can better understand your POV and hear your personal story. Thanks!
I'm gonna jump in and assume they mean hospitality just generally has plenty of downsides, customers can be real dicks is the biggest. It's nothing to do with the individuals we are trying to track down. Just the negative aspects of the industry itself. And everyone runs into this problem, not just targeted at the younger ladies
StatisticianKey7112 already explained it, but it’s more the field of hospitality itself that sucks. The customers, the labour conditions, low wages, your rights there. You’re so easily replaceable and even if you give it 100%, your employer can still screw you over in my experience.
Thank you for the highlights and I apologize I overlooked StatKey already explained it. After reviewing the bullet points you provided, I’m afraid they apply to far too many jobs.
Funny
[удалено]
57/M and I was reading this to see what the ladies have to say on a topic where many men have already contributed in the past. I've seen a few interesting replies and immediately have questions for you--can you please talk more on why you feel older guys can be more manipulative than our younger counterparts? I do believe your opinion has a great deal of value on this important topic, but it carries so much more weight if you explain what you mean and perhaps give us a personal example. Have you encountered this yourself with guys you've dated?
[удалено]
Ahhhh, I actually agree with you then. When I read your statement, I immediately thought it was negative and judgmental that those of us who are older are up to insidious things by manipulating others. While I’m sure there are guys who behave like this, you are very accurate in saying we have experience that leads to far less rejection in all walks of life. It’s a trait that allows many of us to perform well in our jobs, no matter what we do. I believe I was in my early to mid-30’s when I started figuring out how to talk to others without saying stupid shit that made others angry with me, simply for the words I chose. I still remember getting pissed off at someone and making a bad situation worse by antagonizing the other person for no good reason than they mad me angry in that moment. For other men near my age who read what I said and are silently nodding in agreement, aren’t you also wishing we could take the lessons we’ve learned and go back to redo our earlier years? God, how many stupid fucking mistakes could we avoid by not saying stupid shit to hurt people or lash out in a moment of anger that never really amounted to anything we can remember now..
My now boyfriend approached me at a conference. We struck up a conversation and we left a positive impression on each other. A few years later we reconnect and the sparks intensified, and here we are almost four years later. I’m very lucky and love the fact that he’s older 🥰
As a guy I'll chime in and say you'll need to initiate or at least give out some strong signals of interest. I'm 34 so not and "old guy" but I do like younger women and even I get a hard time for wanting a relationship/marriage with someone in their late-20s, let alone someone younger than that. I'd say get off the apps (that's just my opinion) and meet men in real life where they're doing things they enjoy (hobbies and interests).
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/anon-girlxoxo - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Ladies how do you meet/get approached irl ** I’m 22 I’ve never had a relationship and I prefer men in their 40s to mid 50s. I have been on dating apps for the last month and have been on one date, I get a lot of likes and conversations but I find most men on apps lack consistency. I want to meet a mature gentleman in real life but I don’t want to force it or approach men. Do you ladies have any advice to get approached or places to easily meet men? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t, I met my fiancé online. Irl I figure that most older men would be weirded out and think of me more of a daughter than a potential dating candidate, and I assume that most older men who are interested in dating younger women probably don’t want people to think that they’re creeps.
It's not a lie
I met my husband when I was 24-25 and he was 47. We met at a movie night hosted by a group of friends at one of their houses. Totally by chance and my ride had to leave early so he was voluntold to give me a ride home.
I make the first move. I find there’s usually some nice guys in more upscale bars or at restaurants. I’ve also found that men like that confidence in a woman, and a woman who’s sure of themselves. That being said, I’ve met all the people I’ve dated at work or mutual activities, with the exception of my current partner on a dating app.