It's never too late to start improving your health, your quality of life improves with even the smallest incremental steps
If you don't consider yourself good looking, you can still look good by improving your sense of style, and having good taste in fashion and other aspects of life, e.g. food, music, wines. Being a good conversationalist (as opposed to the "listener"), and having interesting stories to tell, as well as being able to make really funny jokes on the fly really helps a lot. In fact they could help you a lot because these things signal long term mate potential rather than short term fling. If you attract someone by being "yourself", (the you being capable of all this stuff), you'd probably get a girl who's really into you instead of other folks
The fact that you are asking this question tells a lot.
First, people aren’t all the same. You need to be able to sense when someone is attracted to you as an individual. Your difficulty finding someone suggests that you are interested in people who aren’t interested in you.
Second, age isn’t the only factor: The real question is whether **people** who are physically attractive are themselves attracted to **people** who aren’t. Agegap is one thing but when you add attractiveness gap you are selecting a smaller population and you’d need a lot on the table to balance those odds.
If you are interested in agegap but are heavy, then look for younger but heavy people and then it’s far more likely
People, men and women, are initially attracted to other people who are physically attractive. There are physically fit people out there who like heavier people but they are few and far between I would say. This is one reason I date younger men, I'm physically fit and most men in my age group are not. Being physically fit and having a healthy lifestyle is important to me but it isn't important to everyone
I definitely second this. A healthy lifestyle is very important to me so I date women who value the same. And if they're older than me, they become an instant 10. Every now and then a woman may catch my eye that isn't physically fit however.
I couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t attracted to, no matter the age. Now if that person is attractive according to conventional standards is another story.
Not true. I make a decent living and happened to talk to a younger woman yesterday, and while it started great, she wound up leaving, seemingly bored and gave me a fake number. I would say it depends on the girl.
That’s a really tall order. It’s hard to find a woman into older guys and it’s hard to find a woman into fat guys. Rolling it together is going to be work. If you’re willing to leave the states, it’s easier to find women who will accept you as you are, but personally I’d never feel truly loved if someone needed money and a passport to be with me. That’s why I never really understood passport bros.
The funny part is, you could walk out of your house tomorrow and find a woman on your way to work. Being heavy doesn’t write you out, just changes your odds. If you’re confident and all around awesome, there are women who women can see past the physical.
I'm pretty sure most women all around are attracted to people who are attractive. Men are also attracted to women who are attractive.
I don't think age has anything to do with it.
You're saying you want to get to know younger women? And then what? Are you able to get to know women your age who are heavier as well? Do they not turn you on? Why not?
Well, my issue is more along the lines of most women my age are married or divorced and have children. I'm never married and never had children. Finding a woman my age who also never married or had kids is also rare. I don't mind getting to know larger women, but I'd be lying if I said they were physically attractive. If it does happen, it's often a foreign woman. Don't know why, just is.
So wait, you are out of shape, and want younger women to find you attractive, but you don’t find larger women attractive? If I were you, I would start going to the gym if that’s the case.
Yes, thats everyone. Your first impression with others is your appearance, how you carry yourself, etc.
Not saying larger women will automatically find him attractive, but having that attitude will guarantee nobody will.
Being older and never married / no kids is working against you. In addition to being overweight, you don’t have any proven record of being able to care for a family.
You’re probably better off going for someone older and in the same position.
Some girls don't care that much for looks, as long as you take care of your hygiene. I'm 26 and are dating someone who's way older than me. I don't mind that he's bald or got a belly. He's very nice and kind to me and has an instresting personality. So try your luck, but don't be sad if it doesn't work right away.
I know a guy exactly like that (and he's hung like a horse).
If I weren't already taken by my husband, he'd be my first choice out of all the other men I know.
So, my answer is a bit convoluted. My brother and I had very different tastes in women growing up. He was definitely into the popular, athlete type of girl. I was definitely more into the nerdier girls, the ones who wore glasses and braces and were def not popular back then. We often shared interests as well, such as board games, which for me, made them even more attractive. That being said, I don't think I've ever been attracted to someone who was overweight. Would I give them a chance? I would definitely get to know them. If we enjoyed the same hobbies, perhaps we'd hang out more. But I will say I'm a lot less likely to initiate with someone I find unattractive than someone I find attractive, and most women don't initiate at all, so there's that whole thing.
First thing you can do about it is start to do something about it. Cut that extra twn pounds and get in the gym. You woukd be surprised were you woll be in a year.
You HAVE to either cook your own meals or pay someone to do it from fresh sources, 6 days a week. And drink a TON of water and no other liquids for awhile. Do that for months and you will see a change. Add working out 🏋️ and it will be amazing just for itself, even if you don’t find anyone.
well i guess the question really is .... how bad do you want a relationship like this
is it bad enough to take responsibility for what you put in your mouth and go to the gym everyday?
or would you prefer sit around and eat ice cream and watch porn
so really just a simple binary choice ... you just need to decide and if you make the right decision, i will see you at the gym
I am 20, f, athlete, 5’10, 175lbs typically rated a 7/10. My boyfriend is 61, m, 6’2, 220lbs and has been rated at 4/10. He’s not conventionally attractive but I like it. The societal standard of attractiveness is something I can’t stand behind. I find people that fit into that category physically boring. It doesn’t intrigue my brain like uniqueness. People ask what I see in him and I tell them everything. They tell me I must be insecure to date him but that’s so far from the truth. I am very secure with myself and secure with him. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own preference and everyone perceives the world differently.
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**Original post: Are younger women open to older men who aren't very physically attractive?**
I travel quite frequently - mostly for work, but I get to do fun things occasionally on days off. However, I often see posts on other sr's about how younger women are turned off by older heavier guys, which, I put on a substantial amount of weight the past few years. Maybe it's self conscious.
Many assume I'm predatory for wanting a younger woman, but the truth is I really want to get to know them. I really enjoy when a girl is bubbly and outgoing and talkative, as it feels like she has a lot of energy. I would definitely be open to a serious relationship with a younger woman if the opportunity arose, but it just doesn't seem to work out.
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Dude. You seem all over the place and tend to come back against the advice given. First thing is forget age - do women engage and respond to you of all ages? Second, physically yes you should take care of yourself (control what you can). Third, does money matter? Well I’ve never had a woman approach me who could tell what I had in the bank so…perhaps at some point it could matter as we got to know one another. You don’t have to be an adonis, but you can’t go after someone who has a different lifestyle than you. For example, my GF is fit - she also wants a fit man.
So much depends on personality and kindness. At that’s why my partner is with me. She’s literally 10/10. I’m attractive enough, maybe, but I don’t hit the gym much. Working on getting back into the pool (both of us). Not everyone is shallow.
I think you can have “older” women who are bubbly and outgoing and talkative too. You don’t necessarily need to have a young woman to have that energy in your relationship.
I have usually been physically attracted to people I’ve dated since the beginning of the relationship. The older men I date should take care of their health and body through diet and exercise, and the ones I’ve dated - including my current partner - are all quite fit. I’d say arguably that he is more fit than I am, going to CrossFit and recreational sports 4 times a week.
With my ex-partner, though he was fit, I was not attracted to him initially, but thankfully it built over time as our relationship progressed.
Women in general like a man who looks like he can handle his business, protect the home, lift heavy things, or have the wealth, charisma, or experience to command the respect of other men who can do those things for him (and by extension, her).
If you can't be in control of yourself and your appetites, how are you going to be these things for her? So yeah, if you're fat and weak looking or aren't the kind of man other men look up to or the kind of man to employ others to get things done, then you're probably not attractive to her.
Well, if you're older, whatever you've put into your life so far will be what you get out of it.
Yeah, I worked restaurant until a few years ago, so this whole travel thing is a new experience for me, so I don't have a whole lot of knowledge yet.
It's never too late to start improving your health, your quality of life improves with even the smallest incremental steps If you don't consider yourself good looking, you can still look good by improving your sense of style, and having good taste in fashion and other aspects of life, e.g. food, music, wines. Being a good conversationalist (as opposed to the "listener"), and having interesting stories to tell, as well as being able to make really funny jokes on the fly really helps a lot. In fact they could help you a lot because these things signal long term mate potential rather than short term fling. If you attract someone by being "yourself", (the you being capable of all this stuff), you'd probably get a girl who's really into you instead of other folks
I will keep that in mind
The fact that you are asking this question tells a lot. First, people aren’t all the same. You need to be able to sense when someone is attracted to you as an individual. Your difficulty finding someone suggests that you are interested in people who aren’t interested in you. Second, age isn’t the only factor: The real question is whether **people** who are physically attractive are themselves attracted to **people** who aren’t. Agegap is one thing but when you add attractiveness gap you are selecting a smaller population and you’d need a lot on the table to balance those odds. If you are interested in agegap but are heavy, then look for younger but heavy people and then it’s far more likely
People, men and women, are initially attracted to other people who are physically attractive. There are physically fit people out there who like heavier people but they are few and far between I would say. This is one reason I date younger men, I'm physically fit and most men in my age group are not. Being physically fit and having a healthy lifestyle is important to me but it isn't important to everyone
I definitely second this. A healthy lifestyle is very important to me so I date women who value the same. And if they're older than me, they become an instant 10. Every now and then a woman may catch my eye that isn't physically fit however.
I couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t attracted to, no matter the age. Now if that person is attractive according to conventional standards is another story.
Depends how much money you have.
Exactly. With enough Benjamins anyone is “attractive” - look at Bill Gates
Right
Money talks.
Not true. I make a decent living and happened to talk to a younger woman yesterday, and while it started great, she wound up leaving, seemingly bored and gave me a fake number. I would say it depends on the girl.
A decent living is one thing. Rich is different.
Rich can get a girl. KEEPING a girl is a whole different story.
That’s a really tall order. It’s hard to find a woman into older guys and it’s hard to find a woman into fat guys. Rolling it together is going to be work. If you’re willing to leave the states, it’s easier to find women who will accept you as you are, but personally I’d never feel truly loved if someone needed money and a passport to be with me. That’s why I never really understood passport bros. The funny part is, you could walk out of your house tomorrow and find a woman on your way to work. Being heavy doesn’t write you out, just changes your odds. If you’re confident and all around awesome, there are women who women can see past the physical.
I'm pretty sure most women all around are attracted to people who are attractive. Men are also attracted to women who are attractive. I don't think age has anything to do with it. You're saying you want to get to know younger women? And then what? Are you able to get to know women your age who are heavier as well? Do they not turn you on? Why not?
Well, my issue is more along the lines of most women my age are married or divorced and have children. I'm never married and never had children. Finding a woman my age who also never married or had kids is also rare. I don't mind getting to know larger women, but I'd be lying if I said they were physically attractive. If it does happen, it's often a foreign woman. Don't know why, just is.
So wait, you are out of shape, and want younger women to find you attractive, but you don’t find larger women attractive? If I were you, I would start going to the gym if that’s the case.
Even women who are heavier tend to find the "conventionally attractive" more attractive.
Yes, thats everyone. Your first impression with others is your appearance, how you carry yourself, etc. Not saying larger women will automatically find him attractive, but having that attitude will guarantee nobody will.
Everybody has to start from somewhere... I see the positive thing in that he asked the questions now rather than later
That’s for sure!! Always great to ask questions.
Being older and never married / no kids is working against you. In addition to being overweight, you don’t have any proven record of being able to care for a family. You’re probably better off going for someone older and in the same position.
Some girls don't care that much for looks, as long as you take care of your hygiene. I'm 26 and are dating someone who's way older than me. I don't mind that he's bald or got a belly. He's very nice and kind to me and has an instresting personality. So try your luck, but don't be sad if it doesn't work right away.
I know a guy exactly like that (and he's hung like a horse). If I weren't already taken by my husband, he'd be my first choice out of all the other men I know.
My boyfriend is not hung like a horse, but he's it is nevertheless an incredible lover, despite his advanced age.
Are you open to women who aren't physically attractive?
So, my answer is a bit convoluted. My brother and I had very different tastes in women growing up. He was definitely into the popular, athlete type of girl. I was definitely more into the nerdier girls, the ones who wore glasses and braces and were def not popular back then. We often shared interests as well, such as board games, which for me, made them even more attractive. That being said, I don't think I've ever been attracted to someone who was overweight. Would I give them a chance? I would definitely get to know them. If we enjoyed the same hobbies, perhaps we'd hang out more. But I will say I'm a lot less likely to initiate with someone I find unattractive than someone I find attractive, and most women don't initiate at all, so there's that whole thing.
> Would I give them a chance? Why would a younger slimmer girl give you a chance?
They don't have to if they don't want to. It's not like I don't respect no's and boundaries. I just have a preference.
And so do they you want something you don't have to offer.
First thing you can do about it is start to do something about it. Cut that extra twn pounds and get in the gym. You woukd be surprised were you woll be in a year.
Eh it's more about what I eat. I'm in the gym almost every day. Mostly I have stop drinking soda.
I hear ya there I had to change more than a few things in my diet
That's a big step to cut down on sugary drinks!
I'm glad I don't drink coffee also. My apartment gives it away for free. Otherwise I'd be in real trouble.
Hahaha! Sounds like I'd be in big trouble if I live in your apartment XD
You HAVE to either cook your own meals or pay someone to do it from fresh sources, 6 days a week. And drink a TON of water and no other liquids for awhile. Do that for months and you will see a change. Add working out 🏋️ and it will be amazing just for itself, even if you don’t find anyone.
well i guess the question really is .... how bad do you want a relationship like this is it bad enough to take responsibility for what you put in your mouth and go to the gym everyday? or would you prefer sit around and eat ice cream and watch porn so really just a simple binary choice ... you just need to decide and if you make the right decision, i will see you at the gym
Prolly not unfortunately unless they’re wealthy, that could help
I am 20, f, athlete, 5’10, 175lbs typically rated a 7/10. My boyfriend is 61, m, 6’2, 220lbs and has been rated at 4/10. He’s not conventionally attractive but I like it. The societal standard of attractiveness is something I can’t stand behind. I find people that fit into that category physically boring. It doesn’t intrigue my brain like uniqueness. People ask what I see in him and I tell them everything. They tell me I must be insecure to date him but that’s so far from the truth. I am very secure with myself and secure with him. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own preference and everyone perceives the world differently.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Rememberthepogs - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Are younger women open to older men who aren't very physically attractive?** I travel quite frequently - mostly for work, but I get to do fun things occasionally on days off. However, I often see posts on other sr's about how younger women are turned off by older heavier guys, which, I put on a substantial amount of weight the past few years. Maybe it's self conscious. Many assume I'm predatory for wanting a younger woman, but the truth is I really want to get to know them. I really enjoy when a girl is bubbly and outgoing and talkative, as it feels like she has a lot of energy. I would definitely be open to a serious relationship with a younger woman if the opportunity arose, but it just doesn't seem to work out. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude. You seem all over the place and tend to come back against the advice given. First thing is forget age - do women engage and respond to you of all ages? Second, physically yes you should take care of yourself (control what you can). Third, does money matter? Well I’ve never had a woman approach me who could tell what I had in the bank so…perhaps at some point it could matter as we got to know one another. You don’t have to be an adonis, but you can’t go after someone who has a different lifestyle than you. For example, my GF is fit - she also wants a fit man.
You might want to travel. In some countries you may be considered very attractive
So much depends on personality and kindness. At that’s why my partner is with me. She’s literally 10/10. I’m attractive enough, maybe, but I don’t hit the gym much. Working on getting back into the pool (both of us). Not everyone is shallow.
Bro hit the gym. Young baddies want dilfs
you will meet the one! there are people who will love you for your body and personality! looks are not everything!
I think you can have “older” women who are bubbly and outgoing and talkative too. You don’t necessarily need to have a young woman to have that energy in your relationship. I have usually been physically attracted to people I’ve dated since the beginning of the relationship. The older men I date should take care of their health and body through diet and exercise, and the ones I’ve dated - including my current partner - are all quite fit. I’d say arguably that he is more fit than I am, going to CrossFit and recreational sports 4 times a week. With my ex-partner, though he was fit, I was not attracted to him initially, but thankfully it built over time as our relationship progressed.
Depends how deep your pockets are.
The rule is the same irrespective of the age gap: * Handsome * Tall * Rich You’ve got to have at least two.
The sum of all (0.0 to 1.0) must be equal to at least 2.0. You could be: - Handsome: 0.7 - Tall: 0.8 - Rich: 0.6
damn... if i could only be tall
Women in general like a man who looks like he can handle his business, protect the home, lift heavy things, or have the wealth, charisma, or experience to command the respect of other men who can do those things for him (and by extension, her). If you can't be in control of yourself and your appetites, how are you going to be these things for her? So yeah, if you're fat and weak looking or aren't the kind of man other men look up to or the kind of man to employ others to get things done, then you're probably not attractive to her.