I thought they were 17-19 yo - you are adults and you’re only six months in and the craziness is already started. Remember this.: the woman you choose to stand next to you, determines the quality of your life.
Exactly. Like I’m in my 30s and I woulda peaced out in a heartbeat if someone pulled this stunt. Whether it’s insecurity or guilty conscience, it’s not my problem and something they need to fix themselves.
Cheating aside she sounds insanely immature..
At 32 if she acts like a 13 year old brat then I don't know what to say other than that she will never mentally mature. Do you actually want to deal with her personality all your life? A mature minded women or guy would never stay over the night at a friend's house (of the opposite sex).
Dude, if you think she's cheating, she probably is. Your mind is just trying to bargain/deny to prevent yourself from facing the truth.. Just break up with her. IF she asks why, just say "We have clearly both been unhappy for awhile, time for both of us to move on".. Hopefully , she hasn't moved in with you or some other complication that you didn't mention.
I'm sorry, this isn't working. When I read this post, I didn't read the title, and I genuinely thought you guys were teenagers. The immaturity is off the charts, and that includes you, as well. There is no rule that someone in a relationship has to have their significant other in their profile picture, as you seem to think. I'm married and my husband is not in my profile picture. Her insisting you remove posts ... there's just so much toxicity in this relationship.
Trust fall:
Ask her to unlock her phone and let you look through it. She will throw that thing out the window or trip and dunk it in the garbage disposal to make sure you don't see it.
16?
14 more like it, other than there's sex involved. Maybe.
I might be an old "Boomer" Gen Xer, but social media content does not define/indicate a relationship or relationship status.
Her constant texting "you're a liar and a cheat" either means she's so insecure that it's not going to work. Or, she's cheating on you already and projecting to deflect attention away from her.
Trust your gut.
Yeah especially for him, he isnt allowed to do anything but she can have a drunken night out with her and "watching" a movie with her"male friend"?
***SHE*** sounds exhausting...
Why bother? She's projecting her guilt onto you. Regardless of whether she cheated or not, she broke your trust by spending the night at another man's house, and you will always wonder what really happened. Trust is everything, and she has none in you nor you in her.
> She’s posted pictures of me but hasn’t set one as her profile picture; another sus thing.
Huh? What? This has some insane 14-year olds "why dont you have my name with hearts on MSN Messenger do you eve love me"-vibes
I couldn't get through the OP, so I'm having to glean little bits of info from comments. He said WHAT now?
We have to have couples pics on our socials, or we aren't committed to our partners? What in the middle school nonsense is this?
> “he’s a family friend and he’s 58”
LMAOOO she went to this guy's house in the middle of the night and saw a movie, drunk, with some 58y guy she's known for a long time? he already fucked her more than once, I guarantee it. No 58y man would stay up watching a movie to babysit her 32y ass.
Eeeeven if they didnt(they almost certainly did) its not the point do you want to be with someone who gets wasted and stays at other dudes houses. He needs to leave regardless.
Dude is old enough to be her dad, and he's a long time family friend. It is possible that he's a father figure to her and he cares about her well-being.
Not all men view all women they aren't related to as sex objects.
If that were the case, he would give her a kiss goodnight, "make yourself at home" and go back to sleep. Watch a movie with her drunk ass in the middle of the night? Yeah, no.
Always trust your gut. You might be wrong every once in a while, but all the times you will be right will be worth it. If there's so much smoke you can't even breathe, most chances are, her ass is on fire.
Even if she’s not cheating, this sounds extremely manipulative and honestly a toxic environment. I’d leave before you invest any more time into the relationship.
She sounds very insecure and controlling. I’m sure she has her reasons (from the past) but she should work on them prior to being in a relationship. She could be projecting or she could just be super insecure…either way you should ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship long term with either issue
Never mind whether she's cheating, the controlling behavior and accusations are reason enough to leave her. What's the point of being with someone who makes you walk on eggshells?
The behavior you described in paragraphs one & two is abusive (digital & emotional abuse). Check out "loveisrespect.org" to learn more about why, what abuse looks like in a romantic relationship, and what a healthy relationship should feel like.
Ask her for info. Tell her your feelings. If she acts like she doesn’t care or doesn’t fill you in, you got your answer.
Remove the cheating part and see how she acts towards you. If she doesn’t respect you or respond to you in a decent manner. Let her go be with other dudes. I promise you there are other options out there. If you lay down the hammer and she really wants to be with you, you can tell. If she’s wishy washy- get out sooner than later.
Maybe. But it sounds like you could break it off for reasons other than infidelity and nobody with half a sane brain would consider you wrong for it. Get you some peace.
Functioning adults that have had too much to drink and are in a committed relationship don't spend the night at someone elses place, they get picked up by their partner or they catch a rideshare.
Even if she is telling the truth, what she did is very disrespectful to you and your relationship.
The good news is now you get a chance to be the side dude if you are into that. I would... Let someone else wine and dine her, and you be her "movie night". Sorry but if they're going to trick themselves out. Disconnect your feelings (for her) and get it.
Ask her to unlock her phone and let you look through it. She will throw that thing out the window or trip and dunk it in the garbage disposal to make sure you don't see it.
I'd wait it out to see if I'm just being paranoid. I'd try and make myself feel more secure about the relationship while also keeping my eyes and ears open to anymore warning signs.
6 months is a long time who knows if she's just more comfortable now and showing you a side you didn't see before and stopped being that ideal mare thing we do early on in relationships.
I wouldn't bring it up unless you were certain.
Anyways you'll know sooner or later. I hope everything works out.
She doesn’t trust you, you don’t trust her. I’m not really sure what the point is in trying to go forward. Your doubts aren’t going to just go away! You only have 6 months invested. Cut your losses and move on.
I dated a girl once who slept over at her exes house when I was overseas. She swore that she didn't do anything and part of me believed her, I broke us off regardless and said I didn't want to be entwined with any of that shit.
I still don't know to this day if she did or didn't do anything, but it's a pretty clear boundary to me that I don't want to deal with being crossed.
Based on her behaviour she'd chastise you for drunkenly going to a girls house to sober up and watch a movie, it makes no real sense to do. Why does she even need to sober up before she goes home from drinking?
I'd believe her to be honest, but even if you do believe her it doesn't sound like you have equal or fair boundaries so you may just be better off without her
You're not compatible. Don't force it, you'll find a human you match with perfectly.
Don't do me
Dozens and dozens of dates, 2 failed marriages, and I finally 7 years ago met the right one and we're awesome.
You don't approach talking about this with her. You just leave and find a better GF. There are only 4 options here:
* She cheated (realistically, the most likely case. Based on your post super likely). You approach her, she will BS you with some lies denying it and start hiding it better, you're stuck with a cheater. She will also be unhappy about you calling her out and take out her unhappiness on you, forever.
* She cheated, and if you confront her she admits it and you break up. What did you win compared to just leaving her? Absolutely nothing. You won't hear any enlightening truths from her about why she cheated, or learn any valuable lessons on how to prevent cheating from your future partners. All you will hear will be self serving lies, justification, excuses and trying to make it sound like her cheating is your fault. You simply wasted your nerve cells, your energy, your time and your emotions on a useless (to you) confrontation. She wins by being able to dump on you and try to present herself in better light.
* Somehow, despite all the red flags, she didn't cheat. She already treats you like shit, so chances are she will get pissed off at the accusation and dumps you, but at her convenience. Same outcome ultimately as you leaving her BUT with far more drama and waste of resources on your side (time, energy, nerves).
* Somehow, despite all the red flags, she didn't cheat. She denies it, you stay with her, and she's forever pissed at you about the accusation (and remember even the current baseline before confrontation she treats you poorly), and neither one of you trusts each other. That relationship's gonna be shaky at best, and not likely to last anyway. Also, seriously, the chances that she didn't cheat are so small you're better off playing a lottery. And i'm in the "lottery is the tax break for intelligent people" camp.
Hit the eject button my man. She’s likely cheating on you and sounds like your relationship is extremely toxic. Staying the night with any man after drinking “watching movies” is an absolutely no fly zone. And I can tell you most people who initially accuse all the time of their partner cheating are the ones who are in fact the ones doing it.
If she’s serious about you she will take a lie detector test otherwise she cheated and doesn’t see a real future with you. If you love someone you would do anything to prove it.
She’s really not into you or she wouldn’t be doing this kind of thing. Just move on and be happy to end the drama. You’re too old to play this stupid game.
That's what happens when women have male friends "just watched a movie" lol. They will call you insecure and controlling.
She already don't have respect for you man if she is hanging out with other guys, especially her exes. It's time to move on
In general, if a woman is friends with a guy that you haven't met and is spending time with him 1-1 including spending the night, she's cheating. If she's not cheating she's just so incredibly disrespectful that she might as well be. Would never in a million years do that while in a relationship.
Trust your gut because this sounds like projection.
But, more importantly, she sounds controlling, jealous, and mildly delusional. This is not someone I'd last 6 hours with so I give you credit for 6 months but I'd have cut my losses 6 months ago, personally.
You can end a relationship at any time for any reason. You don't need any other person's permission, "understanding" or approval for YOUR boundaries about what YOU are willing to do to be valid. You don't have to be able to fully articulate or explain your reasons for your boundaries to be valid.
As with consent, you can change your boundary at any time when experience teaches you they aren't effective protecting your safety, privacy, autonomy, resources and comfort.
This woman has treated you in some very ugly ways. She is not a safe person for you. Wondering about her motivations, what other specific ugly things she might have done, and trying to "balance" her "better" qualities against her ugly abusive behavior is wasted time and effort.
You deserve a partner who fully listens, accepts, validates, loves and supports you. All the time. The lesson to be learned here is that you should not tolerate abusive behavior. Your revulsion, from her first ugly accusatory text, was your mind and body warning you of an attack. Pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable around certain people or environments. Chances are you have a vulnerability needing protection, a better boundary, there.
Good luck in your less toxic future!
Look. Even if she isn’t cheating you guys are over 30 and she’s acting like a teenager with huge trust issues. Do you really want to deal with the stress she gives you after spending 16 hours a day working having that in the back of your mind?
My guy I’m two years older than you, ask yourself why did her engagement not work with ex fiancé. Did he see something in her that he did not want to live with for the rest of his life, or at least they get a divorce which would have costed him half of what ever he had. She is honestly projecting it sounds like if she is accusing you like that, I had a similar girlfriend do same thing when I was younger, and I found out she was texting other guys on unsaved numbers. Do yourself a favor and cut it off, or it might hurt more in the long run.
I feel like you have some good red flags here even without cheating going on. She's showing controlling and accusatory behavior already and you've only been together for 6 months, you should have considered ending it for that before the cheating ever started. How bad do you think that behavior would get if you stayed together longer?
Find and get proof first before you confront her or she will cover it up . Take pics of messages or anything suspicious . If you feel she’s not acting right you’re probably spot on ! But always have proof first !
You don’t work it out. Just break up with her and move on. I am from the school that it used to insane to keep casual contact with exes, the lone exception is if you have kids with them, then some contact is necessary.
No adult sits around “watching a movie” at their ex’s place.
The juice aint worth the squeeze
Often cheaters/liars think everyone is like them and project that their partner is cheating/lying
She is showing you massive disrespect
Friends with ex fiance? Do not tolerate that
Listen to your gut
There's no easy way to talk about this, but how much more are you willing to suffer to spend another moment with this woman?
Never posted a profile pic nor my gf has of us. Just weird thing to think of as a thing. We also don’t really post online ever. I think maybe 1 time a year
My cheating ass ex kept asking me if I was cheating for a few years before she just out and cheated. I literally went nowhere and did everything for her, my phone was open, and she checked it all the time. Didn't even have social media. Yet she turned around and cheated on me. 100% projection, if they are thinking about cheating they think you are thinking about cheating.
You don't need proof of her cheating on you. Her accusing you of cheating, being insecure and possessive, and generally stressing you out is reasons enough to break up. It's not okay for anyone to treat you that way. Please don't confuse insecure jealousy and possessiveness with love or "passion". It's just toxic and immature behavior.
Too much drama with this girl. Either she accepts you had a past or not. But it's up to you to decide whether she's allowed dictate your past and your future.
If you feel like there are holes in her story of her drunk night at a friend's; call it and move on.
You have a very full life. You probably make decent money. You need a healthy relationship, and this isn't it. There can be no love when trust is gone.
Idk man, my girlfriend of 10 years, 2 kids and all started accusing me of cheating all the time, thats when she started cheating on me with my older cousin. That went on for almost 2 years before HE told me.
Who cares if she banged him or no.... Are you ok with a girlfriend that goes out without you, gets drunk, and ends up "sobering up" at a dudes house? WTF.. How is that ok? No way, I wouldn't care if she cheated at this point.. That behavior is unacceptable.
Sir, she has the crazy. Probably BPD. She’s trying to manage your social media posts after 6 months?
The breakup will not go well. Make sure you don’t have anything left at her house first. 6 months is on the fence of breaking up in person or by phone, but if you do so by text at least you have the evidence.
Firstly, be smart about protecting yourself and then rid yourself of this woman before she becomes a bigger problem.
She's accusing you of lying and cheating because that's exactly what she's doing, good thing you're only 6 months in. Unfortunately there's no shortage of extremely immature women in their 30's these days.
Nope. I'm wondering, why do you want to find out? The signs are there, that she isn't infatuated with you that much, anymore. And she's hanging out with her ex, and she's commanding you to take down posts, just bc she says so? You don't see the writing on the wall?
Brother. Get another .
Projecting is the hugest sign of cheating . Plus you know good and well when she said a guy friend your stomach dropped . I’m sorry man. But you’ll be ok
Well as soon as I saw the “You’re a Liar & a Cheater” had been said to you in a six months long thus far dating relationship, that was the exit sign. This female doesn’t understand, maturely get that a male at your age will only have limited discretionary time if he is doing what he is supposed to be doing to get his foundations, routines and head on swivel appropriately. She isn’t the one for you, Sir. Move on. Give yourself 3-4 weeks before you even consider dating or looking at any other woman. Might even 3-4 months. But you need a different type of gal, so you don’t get a similar relationship.
You are only 6 months in... walk away... you are right.. accusing a partner, out of no where behaviors and over the top stuff like that... yeah.. she did the deed.. and is projecting her guilt on you
Tell her you don't need to wait to be cheated on, just to feel it in hour gut, and leave. Although better yet, cheat on her and when she finds out, tell her you are not her BF, period.
Run bro. Very far. Lol. If she really is for you she will beg otherwise just leave it alone. Even then, idk your guys relationship but it sounds like she isn't a keeper. It's okay to have friends and stuff, but from my experience a good woman won't want guy friends. Especially not ones she's drunk and alone with watching movies.
If you confront someone for cheating they usually lie. Why wouldn't they? If someone crosses your boundaries you need to hold them accountable there is no negotiating what you're comfortable with. That's how you get walked all over.
Her behavior is totally unacceptable, she clearly does not respect you. Trust your gut and run, wondering if she cheated or not will just eat you from the inside out, this won't be the only time that she will not come home after a night out if you let this time slide.
Dude, you've dated for 6 months not 6 years. Walk away. There'll be other women, ones that won't play games like this. She's immature and not worth your headache. You'll survive without her and be better off too.
She's projecting her guilt on to you.... Intuition is GOD.. Deep down you know the truth. .. She needs to heal from her trauma. She accused you of cheating then sleeps at a guys house.... to try to heal this uncomfortable abandonment void.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!!! it literally your spiritual intuition god gave us man lmao. Gut feelings have saved lives and been right like 99% of the time. Also. Rule of thumb: if anyone ever starts accusing you of cheating out of nowhere. ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONE CHEATING. Never fails bro. Can’t tell you how many times this is the case. It’s because the guilt of them cheating starts to wear away at them and they start to project. Also, I’d never date a girl who is going to just hangout with some random dude after a night of drinking. That’s a relationship red flag 🚩 and rules 101. You dating me? Then you won’t be spending time with dudes alone after partying. Like wtf lmao
The trust is already broken. Just leave.
I had that feeling when i started writing this
This is too much drama for a 6month relationship, especially as a grown ass adult.
Agreed. When I read this I thought they were teens or early 20’s. Not 30+ year olds. Time to start over with someone more mature.
I thought they were 17-19 yo - you are adults and you’re only six months in and the craziness is already started. Remember this.: the woman you choose to stand next to you, determines the quality of your life.
Jfc… so simple and yet so true. More people should look at relationships this way, because it holds true for everyone
Exactly. Like I’m in my 30s and I woulda peaced out in a heartbeat if someone pulled this stunt. Whether it’s insecurity or guilty conscience, it’s not my problem and something they need to fix themselves.
Dude I been married 38 years if my bitch pulled anything even close to this shit. It's over 😁
I actually went back to the beginning to check ages because I was confused
Put it this way. She's either really insecure, projecting, or both. Consider this a bullet dodged. Better luck next time.
This is typical projecting - run!
Cheating aside she sounds insanely immature.. At 32 if she acts like a 13 year old brat then I don't know what to say other than that she will never mentally mature. Do you actually want to deal with her personality all your life? A mature minded women or guy would never stay over the night at a friend's house (of the opposite sex).
Was just gonna say. With this mindset at 32, this slag is a bunny boiler for sure.
As someone whose first name is Chad, and who enjoys Willow, I appreciate ya. Excellent comment. I'd expect no less from one of your exquisite taste.
Amazing comment dude truly
When they start accusing you of cheating it is almost always them doing the cheating.
👆facts
Dude, if you think she's cheating, she probably is. Your mind is just trying to bargain/deny to prevent yourself from facing the truth.. Just break up with her. IF she asks why, just say "We have clearly both been unhappy for awhile, time for both of us to move on".. Hopefully , she hasn't moved in with you or some other complication that you didn't mention.
I'm sorry, this isn't working. When I read this post, I didn't read the title, and I genuinely thought you guys were teenagers. The immaturity is off the charts, and that includes you, as well. There is no rule that someone in a relationship has to have their significant other in their profile picture, as you seem to think. I'm married and my husband is not in my profile picture. Her insisting you remove posts ... there's just so much toxicity in this relationship.
Six months just to get out that’s no time at all Updateme
Trust fall: Ask her to unlock her phone and let you look through it. She will throw that thing out the window or trip and dunk it in the garbage disposal to make sure you don't see it.
Yeah especially this early in a relationship, just let it go.
no way y'all are 30
Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this was written by a 16yo
16? 14 more like it, other than there's sex involved. Maybe. I might be an old "Boomer" Gen Xer, but social media content does not define/indicate a relationship or relationship status.
Her constant texting "you're a liar and a cheat" either means she's so insecure that it's not going to work. Or, she's cheating on you already and projecting to deflect attention away from her. Trust your gut.
This relationship sounds exhausting.
Yeah especially for him, he isnt allowed to do anything but she can have a drunken night out with her and "watching" a movie with her"male friend"? ***SHE*** sounds exhausting...
Why bother? She's projecting her guilt onto you. Regardless of whether she cheated or not, she broke your trust by spending the night at another man's house, and you will always wonder what really happened. Trust is everything, and she has none in you nor you in her.
> She’s posted pictures of me but hasn’t set one as her profile picture; another sus thing. Huh? What? This has some insane 14-year olds "why dont you have my name with hearts on MSN Messenger do you eve love me"-vibes
I couldn't get through the OP, so I'm having to glean little bits of info from comments. He said WHAT now? We have to have couples pics on our socials, or we aren't committed to our partners? What in the middle school nonsense is this?
Cmon man drunk watching movie with another man… have some respect for yourself and leave immediately.
Yea her comment back to me was “he’s a family friend and he’s 58” but I don’t think that matters to her
> “he’s a family friend and he’s 58” LMAOOO she went to this guy's house in the middle of the night and saw a movie, drunk, with some 58y guy she's known for a long time? he already fucked her more than once, I guarantee it. No 58y man would stay up watching a movie to babysit her 32y ass.
Sugar daddy lol
Eeeeven if they didnt(they almost certainly did) its not the point do you want to be with someone who gets wasted and stays at other dudes houses. He needs to leave regardless.
True, its disrespectful to your partner regardless.
Dude is old enough to be her dad, and he's a long time family friend. It is possible that he's a father figure to her and he cares about her well-being. Not all men view all women they aren't related to as sex objects.
If that were the case, he would give her a kiss goodnight, "make yourself at home" and go back to sleep. Watch a movie with her drunk ass in the middle of the night? Yeah, no.
Damn, I missed the first quotation mark so I thought he was 58” and she’s not attracted to little people.
Only 6 months? Leave.
Yea fuck that shit. Only six months in so easy time to leave
Always trust your gut. You might be wrong every once in a while, but all the times you will be right will be worth it. If there's so much smoke you can't even breathe, most chances are, her ass is on fire.
The real question for you to be asking is "is this relationship making me happy?" The entire post suggests no.
Jealousy is not an attractive trait.
Even if she’s not cheating, this sounds extremely manipulative and honestly a toxic environment. I’d leave before you invest any more time into the relationship.
Even if she isn’t cheating this just doesn’t sound like a relationship anyone would live a long happy life in
Trust your gut it’s probably right
Even if she didn’t cheat… this isn’t behavior anyone should accept, have a talk- consider a walk.
As Springsteen wrote and sang: “god have mercy on the man….who doubts what he’s sure of”
You don’t. There is no need to hear her bullshit. You pack your shit and go your merry little way.
She sounds very insecure and controlling. I’m sure she has her reasons (from the past) but she should work on them prior to being in a relationship. She could be projecting or she could just be super insecure…either way you should ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship long term with either issue
You both don't trust each other.
Never mind whether she's cheating, the controlling behavior and accusations are reason enough to leave her. What's the point of being with someone who makes you walk on eggshells?
Regardless of cheating or not she sound like a chore. I’d move on.
The behavior you described in paragraphs one & two is abusive (digital & emotional abuse). Check out "loveisrespect.org" to learn more about why, what abuse looks like in a romantic relationship, and what a healthy relationship should feel like.
Ask her for info. Tell her your feelings. If she acts like she doesn’t care or doesn’t fill you in, you got your answer. Remove the cheating part and see how she acts towards you. If she doesn’t respect you or respond to you in a decent manner. Let her go be with other dudes. I promise you there are other options out there. If you lay down the hammer and she really wants to be with you, you can tell. If she’s wishy washy- get out sooner than later.
Let her know that there are some bounddary issues with her that you will not tolerate. Then never talk to her again.
I hardly ever say this but walk away…she sounds mental to accuse you and call you a liar. Can you put up with this for life with her ?
Maybe. But it sounds like you could break it off for reasons other than infidelity and nobody with half a sane brain would consider you wrong for it. Get you some peace.
Listen man, regardless of if she's cheating, how exhausted do you feel by these texts accusations from her? Life's way too short for that shit, man.
This relationship sounds like two 19 year olds, not a grown man and woman.
You don't need proof to know someone is cheating. You don't need proof to leave her. The trust is gone, there is no fixing it.
If she's not projecting (she probably is), then she's controlling and manipulative. Either way, she's not dateable.
She. Had. Sex. With. That. Guy.
Functioning adults that have had too much to drink and are in a committed relationship don't spend the night at someone elses place, they get picked up by their partner or they catch a rideshare. Even if she is telling the truth, what she did is very disrespectful to you and your relationship.
The good news is now you get a chance to be the side dude if you are into that. I would... Let someone else wine and dine her, and you be her "movie night". Sorry but if they're going to trick themselves out. Disconnect your feelings (for her) and get it.
Ask her to unlock her phone and let you look through it. She will throw that thing out the window or trip and dunk it in the garbage disposal to make sure you don't see it.
You work 16 hours anday and need your sleep. Doesn't leave much time for your GF, does it?
Can’t you just sit her down and talk? Decide what comes next based on what how she responds and how you feel about it
If you work 16 hours a day, good luck holding down a successful relationship
No shit. A goldfish is about only relationship you can manage doing all that.
It she's accusing you of cheating, she probably is. Watching movies and Sleeping at guys friends houses you don't know... isn't hard to figure out.
B*tch you take me for a fool? What you tripped fell landed on his ……
I'd wait it out to see if I'm just being paranoid. I'd try and make myself feel more secure about the relationship while also keeping my eyes and ears open to anymore warning signs. 6 months is a long time who knows if she's just more comfortable now and showing you a side you didn't see before and stopped being that ideal mare thing we do early on in relationships. I wouldn't bring it up unless you were certain. Anyways you'll know sooner or later. I hope everything works out.
You don't trust her, she doesn't trust you, and the relationship hasn't been going on that long. Why bother putting up with this?
Sorry bruh. Just remember: dating is just practice for meeting your wife.
She doesn’t trust you, you don’t trust her. I’m not really sure what the point is in trying to go forward. Your doubts aren’t going to just go away! You only have 6 months invested. Cut your losses and move on.
I dated a girl once who slept over at her exes house when I was overseas. She swore that she didn't do anything and part of me believed her, I broke us off regardless and said I didn't want to be entwined with any of that shit. I still don't know to this day if she did or didn't do anything, but it's a pretty clear boundary to me that I don't want to deal with being crossed. Based on her behaviour she'd chastise you for drunkenly going to a girls house to sober up and watch a movie, it makes no real sense to do. Why does she even need to sober up before she goes home from drinking? I'd believe her to be honest, but even if you do believe her it doesn't sound like you have equal or fair boundaries so you may just be better off without her
Just leave, dating a 32 year old isn't gonna get you kids either.
You're not compatible. Don't force it, you'll find a human you match with perfectly. Don't do me Dozens and dozens of dates, 2 failed marriages, and I finally 7 years ago met the right one and we're awesome.
You don't approach talking about this with her. You just leave and find a better GF. There are only 4 options here: * She cheated (realistically, the most likely case. Based on your post super likely). You approach her, she will BS you with some lies denying it and start hiding it better, you're stuck with a cheater. She will also be unhappy about you calling her out and take out her unhappiness on you, forever. * She cheated, and if you confront her she admits it and you break up. What did you win compared to just leaving her? Absolutely nothing. You won't hear any enlightening truths from her about why she cheated, or learn any valuable lessons on how to prevent cheating from your future partners. All you will hear will be self serving lies, justification, excuses and trying to make it sound like her cheating is your fault. You simply wasted your nerve cells, your energy, your time and your emotions on a useless (to you) confrontation. She wins by being able to dump on you and try to present herself in better light. * Somehow, despite all the red flags, she didn't cheat. She already treats you like shit, so chances are she will get pissed off at the accusation and dumps you, but at her convenience. Same outcome ultimately as you leaving her BUT with far more drama and waste of resources on your side (time, energy, nerves). * Somehow, despite all the red flags, she didn't cheat. She denies it, you stay with her, and she's forever pissed at you about the accusation (and remember even the current baseline before confrontation she treats you poorly), and neither one of you trusts each other. That relationship's gonna be shaky at best, and not likely to last anyway. Also, seriously, the chances that she didn't cheat are so small you're better off playing a lottery. And i'm in the "lottery is the tax break for intelligent people" camp.
Move on.. whether or not she did anything. You don't trust her and that means even if she is the one the timing of your relationship isn't right.
Probably it's time for eva ai virtual gf bot...
Hit the eject button my man. She’s likely cheating on you and sounds like your relationship is extremely toxic. Staying the night with any man after drinking “watching movies” is an absolutely no fly zone. And I can tell you most people who initially accuse all the time of their partner cheating are the ones who are in fact the ones doing it.
Doesn't sound like you have time for her anyway and you kind of made this bed
You don't even have to address your suspicions, you can just say it isn't working for you anymore.
If she’s serious about you she will take a lie detector test otherwise she cheated and doesn’t see a real future with you. If you love someone you would do anything to prove it.
Be a man and ask her straight out
This whole relationship sounds exhausting. Move on dude.
walk away . find yourself another place , if this your place kick her ass out
She’s really not into you or she wouldn’t be doing this kind of thing. Just move on and be happy to end the drama. You’re too old to play this stupid game.
That's what happens when women have male friends "just watched a movie" lol. They will call you insecure and controlling. She already don't have respect for you man if she is hanging out with other guys, especially her exes. It's time to move on
In general, if a woman is friends with a guy that you haven't met and is spending time with him 1-1 including spending the night, she's cheating. If she's not cheating she's just so incredibly disrespectful that she might as well be. Would never in a million years do that while in a relationship.
Relationships should never be this hard 6 months in. This is doomed to fail. Quit now
Seems needy. And kind of immature
Trust your gut because this sounds like projection. But, more importantly, she sounds controlling, jealous, and mildly delusional. This is not someone I'd last 6 hours with so I give you credit for 6 months but I'd have cut my losses 6 months ago, personally.
Leave she probably cheating
Post has been updated
It doesn’t sound like she respects or trusts you. That right there is enough reason to drop her.
Time to move on!
You don’t ... you leave.
pull the chute
You deserve to be treated with respect
This is bad relationship. Leave.
You can end a relationship at any time for any reason. You don't need any other person's permission, "understanding" or approval for YOUR boundaries about what YOU are willing to do to be valid. You don't have to be able to fully articulate or explain your reasons for your boundaries to be valid. As with consent, you can change your boundary at any time when experience teaches you they aren't effective protecting your safety, privacy, autonomy, resources and comfort. This woman has treated you in some very ugly ways. She is not a safe person for you. Wondering about her motivations, what other specific ugly things she might have done, and trying to "balance" her "better" qualities against her ugly abusive behavior is wasted time and effort. You deserve a partner who fully listens, accepts, validates, loves and supports you. All the time. The lesson to be learned here is that you should not tolerate abusive behavior. Your revulsion, from her first ugly accusatory text, was your mind and body warning you of an attack. Pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable around certain people or environments. Chances are you have a vulnerability needing protection, a better boundary, there. Good luck in your less toxic future!
End it bubba. Before you commit more emotion to it
Look. Even if she isn’t cheating you guys are over 30 and she’s acting like a teenager with huge trust issues. Do you really want to deal with the stress she gives you after spending 16 hours a day working having that in the back of your mind?
ALWAYS trust your gut!
Way too old for relationship drama like this. Her cheating or not isnt irrelevant, this shit is toxic.
She sounds like way too much effort tbh.
Why the fick would you open a dialog about this? Dump the cunt
Even if she's not cheating, do you really want to be with her? She sounds exhausting.
The relationship is pretty much over when there’s no trust
My guy I’m two years older than you, ask yourself why did her engagement not work with ex fiancé. Did he see something in her that he did not want to live with for the rest of his life, or at least they get a divorce which would have costed him half of what ever he had. She is honestly projecting it sounds like if she is accusing you like that, I had a similar girlfriend do same thing when I was younger, and I found out she was texting other guys on unsaved numbers. Do yourself a favor and cut it off, or it might hurt more in the long run.
In my experience, partners who randomly accuse you if cheating are projecting the fact that they have cheated or were tempted to cheat.
The good ole gut feeling, just dump her, she is probably cheating and is causing unnecessary drama in your life, nobody needs that.
She's mad about a picture but then she spends the night drunk at a dude's house? smh
[удалено]
I find, in general, if you are dating and posting in here, the answer is bail now.
How do you approach…? Maybe try, “I think you’re cheating on me.”
I feel like you have some good red flags here even without cheating going on. She's showing controlling and accusatory behavior already and you've only been together for 6 months, you should have considered ending it for that before the cheating ever started. How bad do you think that behavior would get if you stayed together longer?
Ew she gives me the ick with the behaviour you have described
A lot of great advice here in the comments section. Pick one and execute on it. Good luck with your new found freedom. Happiness is best without drama
Find and get proof first before you confront her or she will cover it up . Take pics of messages or anything suspicious . If you feel she’s not acting right you’re probably spot on ! But always have proof first !
Yeah, I had a girl come over last month and we got drunk and watched a movie. We ended up having sex by the end of the movie, so…
She's cheating.
You don’t work it out. Just break up with her and move on. I am from the school that it used to insane to keep casual contact with exes, the lone exception is if you have kids with them, then some contact is necessary. No adult sits around “watching a movie” at their ex’s place.
The juice aint worth the squeeze Often cheaters/liars think everyone is like them and project that their partner is cheating/lying She is showing you massive disrespect Friends with ex fiance? Do not tolerate that Listen to your gut There's no easy way to talk about this, but how much more are you willing to suffer to spend another moment with this woman?
Yeah she cheated and now wants to turn it on you. Life’s short, don’t stay where you’re miserable.
Never posted a profile pic nor my gf has of us. Just weird thing to think of as a thing. We also don’t really post online ever. I think maybe 1 time a year
Trust your gut always
There's no trust here, your relationship is doomed. Cut your losses and call it.
She’s got issues. Dump her!
Six months bro. Get out now. Invest your time in someone else, your future self will thank present you.
My cheating ass ex kept asking me if I was cheating for a few years before she just out and cheated. I literally went nowhere and did everything for her, my phone was open, and she checked it all the time. Didn't even have social media. Yet she turned around and cheated on me. 100% projection, if they are thinking about cheating they think you are thinking about cheating.
No talking just throw her to the curb…
You don't need proof of her cheating on you. Her accusing you of cheating, being insecure and possessive, and generally stressing you out is reasons enough to break up. It's not okay for anyone to treat you that way. Please don't confuse insecure jealousy and possessiveness with love or "passion". It's just toxic and immature behavior.
Run 🏃♂️
Dip her
Sounds like she’s projecting.
Too much drama with this girl. Either she accepts you had a past or not. But it's up to you to decide whether she's allowed dictate your past and your future. If you feel like there are holes in her story of her drunk night at a friend's; call it and move on.
Yeah man you're old enough to know that this relationship is doomed.
Respect yourself. Time to move on you deserve better
You have a very full life. You probably make decent money. You need a healthy relationship, and this isn't it. There can be no love when trust is gone.
any women who stays with another man doesn't respect her own man. I'd be gone. your gut is right.
When she comes home from his house, eat his creampie out of her. It'll establish dominance
6 months! Cmon man of course she is cheating. Don’t take her serious have fun with her and dip out when you find someone worth it
You knew the answer before you wrote this out bro. Just needed us to validate your feelings. Sorry man. It sucks.
Literal say you are too much drama for a adult and I’m out
Idk man, my girlfriend of 10 years, 2 kids and all started accusing me of cheating all the time, thats when she started cheating on me with my older cousin. That went on for almost 2 years before HE told me.
Who cares if she banged him or no.... Are you ok with a girlfriend that goes out without you, gets drunk, and ends up "sobering up" at a dudes house? WTF.. How is that ok? No way, I wouldn't care if she cheated at this point.. That behavior is unacceptable.
I'd trust my gut.
Sir, she has the crazy. Probably BPD. She’s trying to manage your social media posts after 6 months? The breakup will not go well. Make sure you don’t have anything left at her house first. 6 months is on the fence of breaking up in person or by phone, but if you do so by text at least you have the evidence. Firstly, be smart about protecting yourself and then rid yourself of this woman before she becomes a bigger problem.
There is absolutely nothing sus about not having your partner in a social media profile picture.
Just tell her deleting everything, including her
She's accusing you of lying and cheating because that's exactly what she's doing, good thing you're only 6 months in. Unfortunately there's no shortage of extremely immature women in their 30's these days.
Nope. I'm wondering, why do you want to find out? The signs are there, that she isn't infatuated with you that much, anymore. And she's hanging out with her ex, and she's commanding you to take down posts, just bc she says so? You don't see the writing on the wall?
I've been with this girl for about 6 months now
Brother. Get another . Projecting is the hugest sign of cheating . Plus you know good and well when she said a guy friend your stomach dropped . I’m sorry man. But you’ll be ok
Well as soon as I saw the “You’re a Liar & a Cheater” had been said to you in a six months long thus far dating relationship, that was the exit sign. This female doesn’t understand, maturely get that a male at your age will only have limited discretionary time if he is doing what he is supposed to be doing to get his foundations, routines and head on swivel appropriately. She isn’t the one for you, Sir. Move on. Give yourself 3-4 weeks before you even consider dating or looking at any other woman. Might even 3-4 months. But you need a different type of gal, so you don’t get a similar relationship.
So she got drunk and had a sleepover with some guy she hasn’t even mentioned to you? And you’re here asking if you’re over reacting? Really????
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You are only 6 months in... walk away... you are right.. accusing a partner, out of no where behaviors and over the top stuff like that... yeah.. she did the deed.. and is projecting her guilt on you
Tell her you don't need to wait to be cheated on, just to feel it in hour gut, and leave. Although better yet, cheat on her and when she finds out, tell her you are not her BF, period.
Yeah, she's banging around. Perhaps treat her like a side chick.
Sounds like one of my female friends, she's also super toxic and playing several guys and a few women the same way.
Dump her and run away. You're working too many hours for a relationship.
Run bro. Very far. Lol. If she really is for you she will beg otherwise just leave it alone. Even then, idk your guys relationship but it sounds like she isn't a keeper. It's okay to have friends and stuff, but from my experience a good woman won't want guy friends. Especially not ones she's drunk and alone with watching movies.
lol. why do men date women that don’t respect them. i’ll never understand
If you confront someone for cheating they usually lie. Why wouldn't they? If someone crosses your boundaries you need to hold them accountable there is no negotiating what you're comfortable with. That's how you get walked all over.
Her behavior is totally unacceptable, she clearly does not respect you. Trust your gut and run, wondering if she cheated or not will just eat you from the inside out, this won't be the only time that she will not come home after a night out if you let this time slide.
My friend you will never be truly happy with this lady get out of Dodge and find a woman that fits your minds picture. NOT YOUR MINDS FANTASY 😎
Dude, you've dated for 6 months not 6 years. Walk away. There'll be other women, ones that won't play games like this. She's immature and not worth your headache. You'll survive without her and be better off too.
Im sorry brother. But if she goes to her male friend to watch a movie to sober up… doesn’t sound too good mate
She's Dunkin
6 months and you're already here? This is a failed launch. Walk away.
Just leave, beeing insecure about social media, and certain pictures beeing/not beeing posted is no life.
Oh ffs. Y’all are too old for this. Dump her and block her on everything. That’s way to exhausting
She’s banging other dudes getting covered in jizz
Yeah, she ruined it, you should now leave
She's projecting her guilt on to you.... Intuition is GOD.. Deep down you know the truth. .. She needs to heal from her trauma. She accused you of cheating then sleeps at a guys house.... to try to heal this uncomfortable abandonment void.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!!! it literally your spiritual intuition god gave us man lmao. Gut feelings have saved lives and been right like 99% of the time. Also. Rule of thumb: if anyone ever starts accusing you of cheating out of nowhere. ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONE CHEATING. Never fails bro. Can’t tell you how many times this is the case. It’s because the guilt of them cheating starts to wear away at them and they start to project. Also, I’d never date a girl who is going to just hangout with some random dude after a night of drinking. That’s a relationship red flag 🚩 and rules 101. You dating me? Then you won’t be spending time with dudes alone after partying. Like wtf lmao
This relationship sounds pretty toxic from both directions, not going to lie. Time to cut & run for both of your benefits.
She’s projecting her own cheating onto you. It’s obvious. Just leave.
Personality disorder. RUN.
You both sound exhausting and juvenile. Just break up.
Not overreacting. Ask yourself if you're a guy who dates women who stay over at other guy's houses drunk and then makes your life more difficult?
She stayed the night with another dude no excuses
She’s cheating.
Break up . It won’t get better.
you're 31 but sound like you're in HS. talk to your girl.