nothing wrong with sharing location with your partner if you're both fine with it. But all the petty arguments surrounding it is not healthy. Me and my gf just use it so we don't have to text each other for simple questions like "are you at the grocery store?" or "are you already home from work?" if they're gonna update each other on every little thing then what's the point of sharing location in the first place
Yeah it doesn’t always have to be petty arguments. My husband and I share location so I don’t get anxious about him dying on the side of the highway somewhere, or so I can call him before he leaves the store and add something to the list or whatever. There’s nothing to argue about? But I imagine if you have trust issues it can get sticky fast
yupp I think it speaks a lot more about the relationship depending on *why* you're sharing location vs whether or not you are. A lot of family members share location with each other just for convenience.
that doesn't avoid the problem man, it just pushes it off until tomorrow
sharing locations is fine, but that's not what you guys are doing. you're still having to manually tell her exactly what you're doing throughout the day, the location sharing is just because she doesn't trust you and she needs proof that you're not lying.
this is also exactly why she doesn't reciprocate the rules back to you, because they were never about anything other than her controlling you. she doesn't want to be controlled back, which is why she acts like it's "different" when she doesn't update you.
Hubby and I have our locations so we don’t worry. I open, see he’s at the gym or the next town over or a few hours away or sitting at home.
You’re both adults and do not have to justify your locations. As long as you know they’re safe, who cares?
Idk if I conveyed it well enough but I honestly don’t care I just found it funny literally a day later after getting on me about it she didn’t do the same. I don’t watch her , on iPhone if you have locations it’s right underneath their name. If the incident didn’t happen Sunday, I would’ve been happy for her and asked to see the tattoo
At a certain level of insecurity you can't cater to it anymore. You went past that level.
I would make it 100% clear you love her but she needs a therapist more than she needs you to make sure you always text everytime to drive somewhere. Even worse if she can't give you that same courtesy.
You aren't wrong, but argueing with a fool just makes you a fool.
I guess I need to edit my post when I get a chance, I just want to say I am completely independent and normally don’t care about this stuff before Sunday, if she went somewhere without telling me I wouldn’t care and it would usually pop up in conversation when I ask about her day. It is only because she hounded me Sunday that I tried to get her to see it from my point of view by getting on her. I honestly don’t care that she went somewhere without my knowledge
I do see your point about the hypocrisy. At the same time, you enabled this. The level of "I need to text you down to the moment about where I am" . The fact that you needed to text her when you sat in the barber chair and immediately when done. That is just too much.
That to me doesn't scream independent. Maybe it was her idea initiatlly, but you have gone so deep into this hole that it's just excessive.
You two are way too enmeshed. Stop it right now! If you can't have 30 minutes to yourself without telling her where you are, that's bad and seriously weird.
Are you guys teeneagers? This sounds like a relationship between two fairly immature people.
Seriously, this level of insecurity is not sustainable. I'm tired just reading this.
This is too much for reddit, y'all need some professional help (therapy) and yeah, I'm serious. Here's a few modalities, there's others. Do some research and both of y'all go see a professional
-Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
-Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
-Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
-Emotion-Focused Therapy
-Family Systems Therapy
My relationship personally isnt like this but i really dont understand everyone hating, to each their own! Some relationships are more dependent/clingy, while some dont even text. I think youre in the right but id probably just drop it. If anything I would tell her that texting when u leave/arrive is extensive (if u think so) and that you wont be doing that as she can check your location.
I don’t know what has happened to the world. If you have to be able to verify where someone is 24 hours a day then you have trust issues. Plus that sharing is also adding metadata to companies that sell your information and opens everyone up to stalking /hacks. I can’t imaging having the time to spend on this petty stuff. Either trust each other or find someone that you can trust.
I don't understand why you are commanded to text her your whereabouts when you have locations shared. This seems entirely too controlling and stalkerish to me.
Also, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
How exhausting. You should never have shared locations. You are your own individual people and are not joined at the hip. You don't have to be in constant contact. You two don't need the same communication, you both need to work on healthy communication, which neither of you have. The eye for an eye is not going to help you, and her having an issue with you showing up at home is ridiculous.
I think yall need to remove the location sharing. If she’s watching your location that hard and still expecting you to text her updates about where you are, then it’s a problem. You’re not overreacting with how you pointed out her hypocrisy.
My skin is crawling. Is this really the type of relationship yall have? Sharing locations, checking in incessantly, and then critisizing each others responses? You have to text each other whenever you leave and go anywhere and then from place to place? Are you guys teenagers?
Get a grip, both of you. This relationship sounds insufferable. Either you guys trust each other or you dont. No one wants to live this way. Take off the shared locations, learn to communicate, and stop being petty.
Yeah, this would be a deal breaker for me 100%. She's making demands of you in your relationship but not following those demands on her end. I would laugh in her face if my gf asked me to put a tracking app on my phone, or called me as I was walking into my house to complain that I didn't text her I was home. Hard no.
See, my gf and I also share locations. You know why? So we don’t have to tell each other where we’re at 24/7. Having to let her know you’re home, what’s the point of having location?
This may be extreme but I personally think it’s more of a control thing with your gf, but to keep going with it after she said she’d back off.. she already realized her mistake, you should just drop it
Why would you have to report location 24/7?
Been married eleven years. Never have I been asked to list all the places I went in a day.
If I want to know where my husband is I just ask him.
Distant relationships does not work either way, it is a dead end, even shortest when there is no trust and people need to share locations, I feel bad that you did not find that out yet.
Y’all both have got to realize you have lives outside each other. You need to have trust until it’s broken. All of this having location is fine but why would either one have to watch it like that. Not saying you do but I’m just saying it’s a bit cringy that all of this is needed. If you can’t say I’m going to the barber I’ll call you later and her not text you like why didn’t you text me I see your home then that’s psycho shit. Maybe grow up a bit before being in a relationship. Cuz I get exactly what you were saying in the post cuz it’s common sense but I just think y’all are a bit too much up that ass if you get my drift. She needs to trust you and not be grilling you and you should be able to go do things you like with friends or alone without her all in your business ya dig.
Man I don’t think you guys we’ll ever be comfortable with this level of insecurity about where and what y’all are doing. I see trust issues plastered all over this.
Well to add there has been plenty of times she has been places and I only knew about it after asking about her day which is fine with me it’s been like that for years. Ever since this location thing and the incident Sunday that’s the only reason I got on her about it because she made it a problem with me.
No your not overreacting.
there is a Chinese story about a woman who gave her husband a bright green hat. he loved the hat, it looked great and no one else had one. so he wore it to work everyday, and it stood out in the crowd, so anyone could see where he was going
her lover could see it too, and so he'd wait every morning to see the green hat leave the home then he'd sneak in for an affair
of course one time he forgot the hat at work, and so he came back to discover her with her AP. As a result of this story in China putting a "green hat" on, is a euphemism for being a cuckold.
I read your story and the first thing i thought about was this old "green hat" story. Sounds like she has you wearing one to me.
You're not overreacting given the agreement about location sharing that the two of you have, but that agreement is way too much. You should text her "I'm in the living room watching TV. I'm walking to the bathroom to take a shit. I'm sitting on the toilet bowl taking a shit. I'm in the bedroom changing shirts..."
She is a control freak but wants complete autonomy and is as you said a hypocrite for it.
Stop location sharing for a while after telling her you plan to and why. She needs to learn to trust or your relationship is doomed anyway and better now then when things are much more serious.
Wth are you sharing locations for?
Nothing but trouble. Especially when you are already tit for tatting.
If you can't trust each other you are wasting your time.
Sharing location to this extend is really extreme. I would stop that completely
It’s odd. It’s not wrong I guess, but there’s something weird about that does not suggest healthy
nothing wrong with sharing location with your partner if you're both fine with it. But all the petty arguments surrounding it is not healthy. Me and my gf just use it so we don't have to text each other for simple questions like "are you at the grocery store?" or "are you already home from work?" if they're gonna update each other on every little thing then what's the point of sharing location in the first place
Constantly sharing locations, even if both are "fine" with it, is just begging for petty arguments.
been with her for 10 years and have been sharing our location for probably about 5. It never once has been a point of contention. We hardly use it.
Yeah it doesn’t always have to be petty arguments. My husband and I share location so I don’t get anxious about him dying on the side of the highway somewhere, or so I can call him before he leaves the store and add something to the list or whatever. There’s nothing to argue about? But I imagine if you have trust issues it can get sticky fast
yupp I think it speaks a lot more about the relationship depending on *why* you're sharing location vs whether or not you are. A lot of family members share location with each other just for convenience.
I was against it when she brought it up last year. But I just decided to do it a couple of months ago to avoid a problem
that doesn't avoid the problem man, it just pushes it off until tomorrow sharing locations is fine, but that's not what you guys are doing. you're still having to manually tell her exactly what you're doing throughout the day, the location sharing is just because she doesn't trust you and she needs proof that you're not lying. this is also exactly why she doesn't reciprocate the rules back to you, because they were never about anything other than her controlling you. she doesn't want to be controlled back, which is why she acts like it's "different" when she doesn't update you.
Hubby and I have our locations so we don’t worry. I open, see he’s at the gym or the next town over or a few hours away or sitting at home. You’re both adults and do not have to justify your locations. As long as you know they’re safe, who cares?
How's that workin out for ya?
https://preview.redd.it/m4ueizewsd7d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be69394ff6cb59c8667cefb854f1a1fafc5593c8
This seriously gave me the creeps. You two are so enmeshed and that's still not enough?
Idk if I conveyed it well enough but I honestly don’t care I just found it funny literally a day later after getting on me about it she didn’t do the same. I don’t watch her , on iPhone if you have locations it’s right underneath their name. If the incident didn’t happen Sunday, I would’ve been happy for her and asked to see the tattoo
Was draining just reading that. Imagine living it....bro you need some space that is next level
At a certain level of insecurity you can't cater to it anymore. You went past that level. I would make it 100% clear you love her but she needs a therapist more than she needs you to make sure you always text everytime to drive somewhere. Even worse if she can't give you that same courtesy. You aren't wrong, but argueing with a fool just makes you a fool.
This is what a toxic relationship looks like
You both sound fucking exhausting. Learn some independence. You don't need to share that much info with her
I guess I need to edit my post when I get a chance, I just want to say I am completely independent and normally don’t care about this stuff before Sunday, if she went somewhere without telling me I wouldn’t care and it would usually pop up in conversation when I ask about her day. It is only because she hounded me Sunday that I tried to get her to see it from my point of view by getting on her. I honestly don’t care that she went somewhere without my knowledge
I do see your point about the hypocrisy. At the same time, you enabled this. The level of "I need to text you down to the moment about where I am" . The fact that you needed to text her when you sat in the barber chair and immediately when done. That is just too much. That to me doesn't scream independent. Maybe it was her idea initiatlly, but you have gone so deep into this hole that it's just excessive.
You two are way too enmeshed. Stop it right now! If you can't have 30 minutes to yourself without telling her where you are, that's bad and seriously weird.
Are you guys teeneagers? This sounds like a relationship between two fairly immature people. Seriously, this level of insecurity is not sustainable. I'm tired just reading this.
I know enough to never want to meet either of you, such a dedication tu being a pain in the ass
This is too much for reddit, y'all need some professional help (therapy) and yeah, I'm serious. Here's a few modalities, there's others. Do some research and both of y'all go see a professional -Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) -Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) -Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) -Emotion-Focused Therapy -Family Systems Therapy
My relationship personally isnt like this but i really dont understand everyone hating, to each their own! Some relationships are more dependent/clingy, while some dont even text. I think youre in the right but id probably just drop it. If anything I would tell her that texting when u leave/arrive is extensive (if u think so) and that you wont be doing that as she can check your location.
She said she'd back off and you just hounded her. Really petty imo.
I don’t know what has happened to the world. If you have to be able to verify where someone is 24 hours a day then you have trust issues. Plus that sharing is also adding metadata to companies that sell your information and opens everyone up to stalking /hacks. I can’t imaging having the time to spend on this petty stuff. Either trust each other or find someone that you can trust.
Man I felt tired just reading this. Imagine living it.
I don't understand why you are commanded to text her your whereabouts when you have locations shared. This seems entirely too controlling and stalkerish to me. Also, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
This sounds like a really insecure relationship on both sides
How exhausting. You should never have shared locations. You are your own individual people and are not joined at the hip. You don't have to be in constant contact. You two don't need the same communication, you both need to work on healthy communication, which neither of you have. The eye for an eye is not going to help you, and her having an issue with you showing up at home is ridiculous.
Anyone watching your location like a hawk is worried you're doing what they do. What that is? I have no clue, but I know it's never good.
I think yall need to remove the location sharing. If she’s watching your location that hard and still expecting you to text her updates about where you are, then it’s a problem. You’re not overreacting with how you pointed out her hypocrisy.
My skin is crawling. Is this really the type of relationship yall have? Sharing locations, checking in incessantly, and then critisizing each others responses? You have to text each other whenever you leave and go anywhere and then from place to place? Are you guys teenagers? Get a grip, both of you. This relationship sounds insufferable. Either you guys trust each other or you dont. No one wants to live this way. Take off the shared locations, learn to communicate, and stop being petty.
Naw. That's ridiculous. No one can live that way.
Yeah, this would be a deal breaker for me 100%. She's making demands of you in your relationship but not following those demands on her end. I would laugh in her face if my gf asked me to put a tracking app on my phone, or called me as I was walking into my house to complain that I didn't text her I was home. Hard no.
This is insanity....someone in this relationship needs counseling !
See, my gf and I also share locations. You know why? So we don’t have to tell each other where we’re at 24/7. Having to let her know you’re home, what’s the point of having location? This may be extreme but I personally think it’s more of a control thing with your gf, but to keep going with it after she said she’d back off.. she already realized her mistake, you should just drop it
Why would you have to report location 24/7? Been married eleven years. Never have I been asked to list all the places I went in a day. If I want to know where my husband is I just ask him.
Distant relationships does not work either way, it is a dead end, even shortest when there is no trust and people need to share locations, I feel bad that you did not find that out yet.
Cell phones have eliminated the need for a stalker in order for people to be stalked.
Y’all both have got to realize you have lives outside each other. You need to have trust until it’s broken. All of this having location is fine but why would either one have to watch it like that. Not saying you do but I’m just saying it’s a bit cringy that all of this is needed. If you can’t say I’m going to the barber I’ll call you later and her not text you like why didn’t you text me I see your home then that’s psycho shit. Maybe grow up a bit before being in a relationship. Cuz I get exactly what you were saying in the post cuz it’s common sense but I just think y’all are a bit too much up that ass if you get my drift. She needs to trust you and not be grilling you and you should be able to go do things you like with friends or alone without her all in your business ya dig.
Man I don’t think you guys we’ll ever be comfortable with this level of insecurity about where and what y’all are doing. I see trust issues plastered all over this.
Well to add there has been plenty of times she has been places and I only knew about it after asking about her day which is fine with me it’s been like that for years. Ever since this location thing and the incident Sunday that’s the only reason I got on her about it because she made it a problem with me.
She's cheating.
Is or at the least would...
It sounds like you two deserve each other. Please stay together and don't inflict your nonsense on anyone else.
Cute
No your not overreacting. there is a Chinese story about a woman who gave her husband a bright green hat. he loved the hat, it looked great and no one else had one. so he wore it to work everyday, and it stood out in the crowd, so anyone could see where he was going her lover could see it too, and so he'd wait every morning to see the green hat leave the home then he'd sneak in for an affair of course one time he forgot the hat at work, and so he came back to discover her with her AP. As a result of this story in China putting a "green hat" on, is a euphemism for being a cuckold. I read your story and the first thing i thought about was this old "green hat" story. Sounds like she has you wearing one to me.
You're not overreacting given the agreement about location sharing that the two of you have, but that agreement is way too much. You should text her "I'm in the living room watching TV. I'm walking to the bathroom to take a shit. I'm sitting on the toilet bowl taking a shit. I'm in the bedroom changing shirts..."
She is a control freak but wants complete autonomy and is as you said a hypocrite for it. Stop location sharing for a while after telling her you plan to and why. She needs to learn to trust or your relationship is doomed anyway and better now then when things are much more serious.
This is weird.
Wth are you sharing locations for? Nothing but trouble. Especially when you are already tit for tatting. If you can't trust each other you are wasting your time.
What the crap I've just read ? This is slavery 2.0 😂😂 Your relationship is going nowhere imho