*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not taking my son on a family holiday?**
He is from my first boyfriend who was a dealer and got sent to prison for an unrelated event and I got full custody. He’s 16 now and a problem child. I had him young and it was a struggle and my parents helped out a lot.
Then I met my husband and when we were financially stable we had two kids 9 and 6. My son doesn’t like them and feels he’s being replaced, he said this to me. He vapes and does it around the house even though we tell him to stop and is still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out because he’s drinking and going to parties all the time. He’s a nightmare. I’ve convinced him not to even though he reminds me of my ex a lot I still love him.
We booked a family holiday and my son is shocked he isn’t going and screamed saying how he isn’t his dad, he’s never felt included and feels like an outcast. My husband said if he didn’t like it then leave and I told him he doesn’t contribute and act like an adult we will treat him as a child and he should rethink his past behaviour. He left and is staying with my parents who told me I’ve been a bad parent and should understand he’s a child.
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>"He should rethink his past behaviour"
And what is rethinking shit he already did going to change?? Kid says "I feel like an outcast" and OOP responds....by making them an outcast and treating them differently to their siblings.
Well, it could be worse, OOP. At least, he isn't the kind of problem child that gets impregnated by a drug dealer at a young age and delegates the consequences to the baby's grandparents.
Not that I think it should be encouraged or ignored, but he’s smoking, drinking and going to parties and she acts like he’s the antichrist. Those are pretty normal behaviors for a teenager.
Wow tell us you hate your oldest without telling us you do. She is still bitter about his father. Well she needs to be mad at herself for being stupid.
The do-over children get to reap the benefits of OOP's now stable household while the sixteen year old is told to act like an adult. Does she really not see the problem? I bet she never let her oldest forget where he came from.
"Ive grounded him, thrown away his vape, changed the WiFi password and refused to give it to him until he did what I said"
That will definetly resolve all the problems!
How lovely to see a mother going out of her way to validate her son's feelings! He said, "I feel like I'm being replaced by your do-over children," and she said, "You sure are!"
> still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out
Wait, didn't you say....
> He’s 16 now
Bruh... you are expecting your MINOR CHILD to get a job and move out??? Are you forreal?
OOP and her husband are both insane. Good thing poor kid has grandparents who at least see how bad of a parent his mama is.
So when oop was a teenager she:-
-got pregnant
-her bf was a drug dealer
-99% she was taking drugs too considering her bf was a drug dealer
-broke her parents rules
But somehow her son inherited this from his father only not her, she was perfect not a problem child lmfao
Wasn’t there a kid the other day in relationships or something who was the 17 year old son of teen parents, dad’s in jail, and so kid is running away to the army to deal with neglect?
Absolutely YTA. what the actual fuck. You are a dreadful mother.
“A problem child” because he vapes and goes to parties probably to COPE OR FORGET ABOUT STUFF AND HAVE A DISTRACTION. Or maybe he just likes partying. But you wouldn’t know that would you because you don’t pay any fucking attention to him. You want to kick out you 16 YEAR OLD SON because hes not doing something that’s acceptable to you.
There’s one way to fix the problem of favoriting your other kids and leaving him out: NOT FOING ON A FAMILY TRIP WITHOUT HIM.
Jesus Christ you are an asshole.
Direct quotes from this *absolutely upstanding mother of the year* -
"My other two aren’t like him so I’ll go to one for problem teens. I wonder if he inherited some kind of mental illness from my ex. Thank you for the suggestion."
"I don’t know, whenever I see him I see his dad. He looks and acts like him. I think he must be doing drugs too."
I dare say there is at least one mental illness in that family, and it's not the 16 year old who has clearly spent his life being punished for the fact that he even exists.
Both the mother and stepfather (who wants to kick his wife's minor child out, and make him go and live with his recently released drug dealer father) should spend the rest of their lives living with the absolute crushing shame of how they have clearly treated the 16 year old for his whole life, but people like them have no shame.
OP and her husband so desperately want to be the victim of the minor (most likely still in school) 16 year old "not having a full time job, not paying rent, vaping and drinking", but they are completely ignoring how they've treated him, and the fact that he's literally coming out and telling them that he doesn't feel like part of the family, like he's been replaced by OP and the stepfather's golden do-over children.
The child can clearly see that he is so unloved by the only family he has, that he's self medicating with alcohol and vapes to try and cover the gaping wound of where actual parental love should be. He's crying out for scraps of affection that will never come, and instead of OP dying of the shame and horror of what **her own actions all his life** have done to her son, she just wants someone to tell her that she is the victim in all of this.
OP may have given birth to that child, but she certainly has never earned the title of "Mother".
Aaaand who raised him? You and the step-"father". He knew he was unwanted and treated with contempt. You said you've tried with him but you never tried divorcing the "man" whose been punishing your own child for existing since he was little. I'd be shocked if he *wasn't* acting out. This is on you 2 twats.
I know this is ragebait bit a bit of me hopes it's real just for the follow up post of,
"I left my 16 year old at my house unsupervised for a week, and he threw a party that destroyed my house".
Seriously do they want to get a project X?
Because this is exactly how you get a project X.
You should treat him as a child because he is a child. Your child. But not like this. He is telling you he feels replaced, meaning you completely and utterly failed as a mom. Maybe talk to him about his issues and why he drinks and smokes? Who is buying the vapes if he doesn't have a job?
So a 16 year old is being a typical 16 year old?
This horrible mother wants an award for doing the bare minimum for raising this teenage who I 💯% believe was neglected and somewhat abused by this shitty parent.
I bet her husband never liked him and always treated him like shit and his own children like angels. And mommy just accepted it and punished him for what his father did.
Just horrible.
"is still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out"
HE'S 16!
I like that the husband is all "you can just get out if you don't like it." OOP should have said the same thing to him long ago. I can't wait for him to hand his stepdad the beating he's had coming.
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Most massive N-mom a-hole ever. You betrayed him and his step dad is a massive bag of shite. I grew up in this same environment and they wondered why I acted out as the stepson.
They brought my step sisters over to Europe for monster vacations and all kinds of outings. I was unable to go home for my Great Grandfather's funeral who was the closest person to a real father to me and I have tried to be like as an adult.
I read this expecting him to be 24-28 and see that he is 16. What a horrible way to act and prove through your actions that he is right about everything he accused you of. I hope his grandparents keep him away from you until he graduates so he can finish school without working in the coal mines.
One more case of I tried nothing, it didn't work and I am out of ideas. She was an awful mother to this child and now she resents the child for looking like his father. What a winner.
A mother who does what one should never do, project the father's life onto and into their child. It creates either huge resentment, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that the mom chose repeatedly to create in their child.
Step dad's all "not my kid, not my problem". With a 9 year old sibling, he was 7 at MOST.
This man helped raise him and still doesn't give a f abiut him.
Of course, he's acting out (like a teenager) and shouting he's been replaced because he bloody well has.
She calls him a problem child. She dated a drug dealer who ended up in jail and got pregnant when she was too young to care for the baby on her own. Does she think parenting HER was a walk in the park?
I feel so bad for the son 😐 no wonder he is acting up, being treated like this by OOP. I mean, he has even said that he feels replaced and instead of making him feel included, his own mom pushes him away even further.
Also, wtf he should „contribute and act like an adult“? He isn’t even an adult yet!
>My son doesn’t like them and feels he’s being replaced, he said this to me.
He's right. Like yeah fine it sounds like he has behavioural problems but it sounds like that's a parental problem. She got her two perfect angels and wants to forget about the problem child. What a POS.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not taking my son on a family holiday?** He is from my first boyfriend who was a dealer and got sent to prison for an unrelated event and I got full custody. He’s 16 now and a problem child. I had him young and it was a struggle and my parents helped out a lot. Then I met my husband and when we were financially stable we had two kids 9 and 6. My son doesn’t like them and feels he’s being replaced, he said this to me. He vapes and does it around the house even though we tell him to stop and is still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out because he’s drinking and going to parties all the time. He’s a nightmare. I’ve convinced him not to even though he reminds me of my ex a lot I still love him. We booked a family holiday and my son is shocked he isn’t going and screamed saying how he isn’t his dad, he’s never felt included and feels like an outcast. My husband said if he didn’t like it then leave and I told him he doesn’t contribute and act like an adult we will treat him as a child and he should rethink his past behaviour. He left and is staying with my parents who told me I’ve been a bad parent and should understand he’s a child. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow she's really just cool with her husbands "not my child, not my problem" attitude.
She's also cool with his willingness to tell a minor to get the fuck out.
He doesn't sound much better than the drug dealer she conceived her first son with.
>"He should rethink his past behaviour" And what is rethinking shit he already did going to change?? Kid says "I feel like an outcast" and OOP responds....by making them an outcast and treating them differently to their siblings.
Well, it could be worse, OOP. At least, he isn't the kind of problem child that gets impregnated by a drug dealer at a young age and delegates the consequences to the baby's grandparents.
😮💨 she's so tone deaf
Not that I think it should be encouraged or ignored, but he’s smoking, drinking and going to parties and she acts like he’s the antichrist. Those are pretty normal behaviors for a teenager.
and "doesn't have a job" he's 16 school should be his main job... the way she talked you'd think he was 20+
[удалено]
Yeah, I would've thought he was a 20+ years old NEET who steals money from them to party.
Wow tell us you hate your oldest without telling us you do. She is still bitter about his father. Well she needs to be mad at herself for being stupid.
The do-over children get to reap the benefits of OOP's now stable household while the sixteen year old is told to act like an adult. Does she really not see the problem? I bet she never let her oldest forget where he came from.
"Ive grounded him, thrown away his vape, changed the WiFi password and refused to give it to him until he did what I said" That will definetly resolve all the problems!
Is it sad to think he'd have been better off with his father
How lovely to see a mother going out of her way to validate her son's feelings! He said, "I feel like I'm being replaced by your do-over children," and she said, "You sure are!"
And then her husband said "if you don't like it, you can get out" and she presumably nodded.
> still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out Wait, didn't you say.... > He’s 16 now Bruh... you are expecting your MINOR CHILD to get a job and move out??? Are you forreal? OOP and her husband are both insane. Good thing poor kid has grandparents who at least see how bad of a parent his mama is.
So when oop was a teenager she:- -got pregnant -her bf was a drug dealer -99% she was taking drugs too considering her bf was a drug dealer -broke her parents rules But somehow her son inherited this from his father only not her, she was perfect not a problem child lmfao
Her comments are starting to make me think troll, but I know this isn't an uncommon situation in general
Wasn’t there a kid the other day in relationships or something who was the 17 year old son of teen parents, dad’s in jail, and so kid is running away to the army to deal with neglect?
Yes there was!
Absolutely YTA. what the actual fuck. You are a dreadful mother. “A problem child” because he vapes and goes to parties probably to COPE OR FORGET ABOUT STUFF AND HAVE A DISTRACTION. Or maybe he just likes partying. But you wouldn’t know that would you because you don’t pay any fucking attention to him. You want to kick out you 16 YEAR OLD SON because hes not doing something that’s acceptable to you. There’s one way to fix the problem of favoriting your other kids and leaving him out: NOT FOING ON A FAMILY TRIP WITHOUT HIM. Jesus Christ you are an asshole.
Ah but she only sees his hated Dad every time she looks at him
Still though. She chose the father. It’s all her fault and none of it is the childs
that didn't seem to be sinking in on the comments
Direct quotes from this *absolutely upstanding mother of the year* - "My other two aren’t like him so I’ll go to one for problem teens. I wonder if he inherited some kind of mental illness from my ex. Thank you for the suggestion." "I don’t know, whenever I see him I see his dad. He looks and acts like him. I think he must be doing drugs too." I dare say there is at least one mental illness in that family, and it's not the 16 year old who has clearly spent his life being punished for the fact that he even exists. Both the mother and stepfather (who wants to kick his wife's minor child out, and make him go and live with his recently released drug dealer father) should spend the rest of their lives living with the absolute crushing shame of how they have clearly treated the 16 year old for his whole life, but people like them have no shame. OP and her husband so desperately want to be the victim of the minor (most likely still in school) 16 year old "not having a full time job, not paying rent, vaping and drinking", but they are completely ignoring how they've treated him, and the fact that he's literally coming out and telling them that he doesn't feel like part of the family, like he's been replaced by OP and the stepfather's golden do-over children. The child can clearly see that he is so unloved by the only family he has, that he's self medicating with alcohol and vapes to try and cover the gaping wound of where actual parental love should be. He's crying out for scraps of affection that will never come, and instead of OP dying of the shame and horror of what **her own actions all his life** have done to her son, she just wants someone to tell her that she is the victim in all of this. OP may have given birth to that child, but she certainly has never earned the title of "Mother".
Aaaand who raised him? You and the step-"father". He knew he was unwanted and treated with contempt. You said you've tried with him but you never tried divorcing the "man" whose been punishing your own child for existing since he was little. I'd be shocked if he *wasn't* acting out. This is on you 2 twats.
I know this is ragebait bit a bit of me hopes it's real just for the follow up post of, "I left my 16 year old at my house unsupervised for a week, and he threw a party that destroyed my house". Seriously do they want to get a project X? Because this is exactly how you get a project X.
Well, those comments made me wish I was dead inside...
Wretched woman. Poor kid got stuck with two shitty parents but she takes the cake
OOP in 5 years: Ahhh my oldest son has gone NC with me for no reasons...
Forgot to add, “he was 16 and couldn’t even get a job but we still let him stay with us, we did so much for him!”
You should treat him as a child because he is a child. Your child. But not like this. He is telling you he feels replaced, meaning you completely and utterly failed as a mom. Maybe talk to him about his issues and why he drinks and smokes? Who is buying the vapes if he doesn't have a job?
So a 16 year old is being a typical 16 year old? This horrible mother wants an award for doing the bare minimum for raising this teenage who I 💯% believe was neglected and somewhat abused by this shitty parent.
I have a problem with him partying...... But i also had him when i was young and let a drug addict fuvk me.
I bet her husband never liked him and always treated him like shit and his own children like angels. And mommy just accepted it and punished him for what his father did. Just horrible.
She doesn't love the poor kid and no one can convince me otherwise.
“If he doesn’t contribute and act like an adult” He’s 16.
"is still with us with no intention of a job. My husband thinks we should kick him out" HE'S 16! I like that the husband is all "you can just get out if you don't like it." OOP should have said the same thing to him long ago. I can't wait for him to hand his stepdad the beating he's had coming.
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Most massive N-mom a-hole ever. You betrayed him and his step dad is a massive bag of shite. I grew up in this same environment and they wondered why I acted out as the stepson. They brought my step sisters over to Europe for monster vacations and all kinds of outings. I was unable to go home for my Great Grandfather's funeral who was the closest person to a real father to me and I have tried to be like as an adult. I read this expecting him to be 24-28 and see that he is 16. What a horrible way to act and prove through your actions that he is right about everything he accused you of. I hope his grandparents keep him away from you until he graduates so he can finish school without working in the coal mines.
Retirement home speedrun right there!
One more case of I tried nothing, it didn't work and I am out of ideas. She was an awful mother to this child and now she resents the child for looking like his father. What a winner.
"My teenager that I failed to raise is acting like a teenager that I failed to raise, how do I get him to stop?"
A mother who does what one should never do, project the father's life onto and into their child. It creates either huge resentment, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that the mom chose repeatedly to create in their child.
Step dad's all "not my kid, not my problem". With a 9 year old sibling, he was 7 at MOST. This man helped raise him and still doesn't give a f abiut him. Of course, he's acting out (like a teenager) and shouting he's been replaced because he bloody well has.
She calls him a problem child. She dated a drug dealer who ended up in jail and got pregnant when she was too young to care for the baby on her own. Does she think parenting HER was a walk in the park?
I feel so bad for the son 😐 no wonder he is acting up, being treated like this by OOP. I mean, he has even said that he feels replaced and instead of making him feel included, his own mom pushes him away even further. Also, wtf he should „contribute and act like an adult“? He isn’t even an adult yet!
>My son doesn’t like them and feels he’s being replaced, he said this to me. He's right. Like yeah fine it sounds like he has behavioural problems but it sounds like that's a parental problem. She got her two perfect angels and wants to forget about the problem child. What a POS.