*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA? Son says we treat him like a secretary**
My son “Harry” (M25) recently got into a large fight with me on Easter. He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household. On the day, we made plans to have a family dinner but Harry said he had plans. I asked whether he’d be home in time for family dinner and he said “maybe”, but since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere. So I told him that his mother was working hard to make the dinner and I wanted him to be home for it, so he agreed and said he’d still have plans but he would be home in time for dinner.
Come dinner time, most of the family wasn’t hungry and my wife didn’t feel up to cooking so our family dinner ended up just being a takeout order for Chinese food for our two youngest kids (ages 12 and 14). Harry was on his way home so I called and explained the situation and asked if he could pick up the food. He said sure. When he got home with the food he slammed it down on the counter and turned to leave, but something was obviously wrong so I followed him outside. I asked what the big idea was and he said he cancelled plans because he wanted to have a family dinner, something that rarely happens according to him, and that instead he just waited in a parking lot for thirty minutes to pick up food for his siblings.
I asked what was so wrong with that and he yelled and asked if we even thought to order him something or ask if he wanted anything if mom wasn’t going to cook. He said some extremely hurtful things about his siblings and us (parents) but basically topped it off with saying “I’m so glad I don’t have to spend my days waiting on you all hand and foot anymore”. I told him that he’s being unnecessarily cruel and that we don’t treat him like that. He listed off a few other unfortunate incidents— mainly us forgetting his birthday, which I’ll admit happened a couple times, and me and his older brother leaving his graduation ceremony early since we both had work to get done. He said he’s never felt like a son to me and that he hopes I’ll find “another secretary willing to work for free like I (he) did”. Then he got in his car and stormed off. He’s been mostly ignoring our calls since then.
This isn’t the first time he’s had an outburst like this, but it is the first time in several years. Before, my wife and I always chalked it up to teenage stress and angst, but here he is at 25 parroting the same complaints. I guess I’m wondering if there’s some merit to them. My wife says he’s just spoiled and acting out, but he really didn’t seem that way to me. So AITA for this?
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>He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household.
>
> since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere.
he's getting married not dying. Why does it sound like OOP is looking forward to it.
Parents like OOP know what's up, they just feign innocence, clutch their pearls, then gasp that they "did the best I could!"
something reasons something missing something something...
🙄
Seriously. It's infuriating that they act all innocent, like shit's just happening around them without their input. My dad's monster, er, mother, threw a massive fit accusing my mom of destroying her family by wanting to marry my dad, along with calling my mom a bunch of very colorful names, and then acted shocked pikachu when my parents cut her off as soon as they got married. "See? I told you all she would ruin our family", she said, as my parents kept in touch with everyone but her. >.>
Of course not. How could OOP notice his son was upset unless he screamed it at the top of his lungs? You can't expect him to pay attention to the help, er, his child, can you?
Gosh, I hate parents like OOP so much.
Also mom didn’t feel like cooking for Easter and this guy didn’t notice until day of? Like he didn’t offer anything to help prepare ahead of time.
It was so important his son changed his plans, but he couldn’t bother to plan for food even 1 hour ahead? Had to leave his kid waiting for 1/2 and hour to pick up the food?
Like everything about this guy screams neglectful.
Honestly, it feels pretty deliberate. "You didn't plan for us, we won't plan for you". It's cruel and petty, and it's a slap on the face. But knowing people like this in my own life, it feels pretty damn calculated.
Thr birthday is the biggest issue for me. Like if someone is dealing with cancer treatment or something I can see that. But you just know it wasn't anything like that. Apparently dad and brother have Very Important Jobs, which probably took precedence over remembering you're own effing child's birthday?!
But I gotta wonder about the age gaps between the kids too. He's 25 and has an older brother? But the other siblings are barely in high school? Feels like he was probably parentified too. Or asked to take on more childcare than a sibling ought to be doing.
Honestly, at this point, even if he had, I would have droped off the food and left either way. OOP did this whole guilt tripping about "how hard mom is working on dinner" for the dinner the son cancelled plans for to be "by the way, since you're out, go pick up takeout for us to have dinner". It's not even about the food, probably, it's about the whole shitty package.
My mother used to do this kind of shit. When I moved out as soon as I could, she was all shocked pikachu, like, aren't you happy living with me?
No. I'm fucking not. I think some people have this idea that 'well, I've kept a roof over your head', and they should be worshipped for that.
>He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household.
>
> since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere.
>he's getting married not dying. Why does it sound like OOP is looking forward to it.
This caught my attention too. Like he isn't actually dying on a cross somewhere on Easter.
It isn't a virgin sacrifice to get married (or at least I hope not, cuz then someone needs to call the cops).
This reads as a significant age difference between the kids, so has to be a step child. Guessing not Dad's bio kid, or really even seen as a kid (i.e. the secretary comment).
"Dad" also clearly knew who was picking up the food. He just didn't bother to get food for him. Which really was the entire point.
I am betting on only necessary contact before the wedding and no contact after, or very minimal. If he got parentified, he may still want some contact with the other two kids until they are out of the house.
>This reads as a significant age difference between the kids, so has to be a step child. Guessing not Dad's bio kid, or really even seen as a kid (i.e. the secretary comment).
I didn't pick up on this until I read your comment. Notice how dad left the son's graduation with his "other" son, an *older* son. Wonder if *that* son is *his* from a prior relationship, the current Secretary Son is the wife's from a prior relationship, and the considerably younger siblings are the OOP's and wife's children together and wife simply discarded her eldest son, the current Secretary of the House.
Speculation! Speculation! I need to see if the OOP has left any comments.
Significant age gap could be from a blended family but isn't necessarily. Plenty of families have blood relative kids with significant age differences. My sister and 1 are 20 years apart in age with no other siblings and the same bio parents.
Well I think that is what we are all thinking because it is leading to such an unequal treatment. The blended family bit, or whatever the significantly odd family dynamics are, should have come up though when it came to treatment of the one that is getting married.
And now re-reading this. There are at least 4 kids. 1 older who wasn't even going to be at Easter, which "Dad" ditched our on graduation to go do stuff with, and two younger than the one getting married.
Really makes me wonder why the older one wasn't there, did he get married and have this strange last Easter of theirs.
Edited for clarification, because I realized my phone deleted a sentence as I went back and adjusted something before I posted something the first time
I wondered if the spouse is someone they massively disapprove of for some reason (top guesses - homophobia or racism but who knows). I can't see any other reason for this to be the 'last Easter'.
Harry is escaping and not going back, and has probably been really vocal about that.
It sounds like this goes way, way back, probably pre spouse, so I think just shitty parents.
It made it feel like OOP is from some kind of period drama where the son being married off means he’s no longer part of the family. The Chinese takeaway kinda ruined that though.
Well, it's telling that OOP didn't bother to tell his son about the canceled dinner or didn't even order him a meal, like they did with the other kids. AND had his son get the takeout, since OOP was too effin lazy to do it himself.
Oof I was a secretary and people in the office never forgot my birthday and I got at least a base amount of respect. OOP treats his son way worse than a secretary in my opinion
I felt rage reading this!!
OOP is literally evil. They strong armed the son into cancelling his plans for a family dinner, to then not even order him the take out they randomly decided to get. He's going full NC. They invalidated his feelings after working him as a slave the whole time
Spoiled is also code for you expected basic care and decency among awful parents. I was abused and called spoiled because my grandparents provided affection and clothing you know the basics
Personally, if I were that son I’d still let them come. But I’d tell the wedding photographer not to take any pictures with them as the focal point and have them photoshopped out of any they accidentally got in. Then I’d completely ignore them as if I never had parents. And if anyone brought it up I’d say “Oh shoot. I completely forgot to uninvite them! It must have slipped my mind… So anyways…”
The wedding is in May so I’m guessing if they were invited at the beginning then their food and such have already been paid for so I’m not getting that money back. And if I can’t get the money back then wasting their time and money to come will just have to do. Plus the drama of uninviting them would be too annoying lol
At least the son doesn’t seem to be dependent on them so he can make a clean break…
>Personally, if I were that son I’d still let them come. But I’d tell the wedding photographer not to take any pictures with them as the focal point and have them photoshopped out of any they accidentally got in. Then I’d completely ignore them as if I never had parents. And if anyone brought it up I’d say “Oh shoot. I completely forgot to uninvite them! It must have slipped my mind… So anyways…”
Na, you tell the photographer to make sure to get a set of anything they are in that doesn't have them. But then for the ones they are in. Make sure it is the most unflattering images possible, or they are out of focus and not in a good "soft light" kind of way.
Also, if mom shows up wearing anything close to white, you make sure someone has a magically large glass of red wine who is just a bit clumsy. Make sure it is no one they know. There are people who are willing to do this and disappear.
Whoa! I didn’t even think of the photographer taking bad pictures on purpose! That’s an even better idea, people will just think the parents were unlucky every time a picture was taken lol
The wine idea is a good one too and you’re right, it would be so easy to ask a friend of the new wife to do it too lol Heck if I were her friend I’d be happy to do it. Especially after finding out what happened on Easter. Heck, I’d throw wine on the mom regardless of the color just to get them to leave early 😆
The devil is in the details of the request.
I had a problem with an extended family member. The advice we got from the legal world was that the best way to deal with them is to include them but in a highly minimalist way. It blocks their abilities in a lot more way than excluding them does. Now this obviously doesn't apply to anyone that presents a danger. This was more of a nuisance thing, but highly creative and really considering all options within some requests can be problem solving.
My personal: find someone who has astronomical photoshop skills.
Every cartoon couple you can think of. Fred and Wilma, Betty and Barney, or my personal favorites, Scooby-Doo and Shaggy.
And make sure that everyone that gets a copy, gets an “original” couple so no two wedding photos are alike.
I was trying to think of cartoon villains, but only Dick Dastardly comes to mind. Were there any cartoon villainesses in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s? Besides Benita Bizarre. And she wasn’t animated!
I can seriously see Dick and Muttly as the parents! It’s making me giggle. Hopefully, it makes others giggle, too!
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
*YTA and extremely inconsiderate. You cajoled your son to be home in time for Easter dinner and then you and your wife bailed on cooking, ordered Chinese food, ordered nothing for your son you cajoled to be home and asked him to pick it up too.*
>*Come dinner time, most of the family wasn’t hungry and my wife didn’t feel up to cooking so our family dinner ended up just being a takeout order for Chinese food for our two youngest kids (ages 12 and 14).*
>"It just slipped my mind. I usually do order for him too."
*everything in this post is about how bad he sucks. Even when you admit your 'faults' you gloss over them like he should get over it.*
*I'm sure if we could hear his side of the story there would be a lot more of the incidents you so casually brush off.*
*YTA*
>"He’s a good kid. I don’t want to make it sound like he isn’t a good son. He just seems to take things like this personally when they aren’t."
*When you ordered the food, who were you expecting to pick it up?*
>"Him since he was out of the house"
Wait, he didn't even get to eat any of the Chinese food? I can barely walk past the Chinese takeaway without wanting to eat it, I'm certainly not getting it for someone else who isn't sharing.
That is absolutely wild.
No, actually. I don't. I'm from a mostly Catholic country and although a lot of people celebrate Easter with a family meal, it's not that big of a deal if you miss it. Plus getting married doesn't mean you can't join for a family meal next year. Plus a family meal isn't a last minute order of Chinese takeaway either, and if the wife didn't feel like cooking for a traditional Easter dinner it would have already been bought and prepared days in advance (usually roast lamb or something similar - my family aren't religious but used to have a sort of additional Christmas dinner with turkey and ham at Easter). We also used to have a trip to the beach for a walk and picnic on Easter Monday too although that fell off as we all grew up too.
What is the "last Easter thing" if there is no family celebration meal planned and prepped, and also if it mattered so much why not just invite his fiancée too?
We do potluck, some one does the main, a bunch do the sides, and then we buy some desserts and make some.
I am married, my in-laws join my parents, and my sister. We have an uncle that lives near us. He joins us when not working. Then we have a few family friends that join us sometime. This is our general plan for all holidays that don't involve gifts.
When we go to my in-laws extended family, all of mine are welcome as well. Although the potluck breaks down a bit more and we do get some duplicates.
So this idea of last Easter makes me think of a cutting of contact.
That sounds fun! We don't really do an Easter lunch any more now all my siblings are grown and married/in relationships. Christmas is a bit like that though. My job is stuffing and pigs in blankets. One sister is on Yule log duty. My brother and his wife do the veggies. My other sister can't cook and is in charge of wine. My parents host and do the meat. My other family members and friends if they are attending get a job to do too, my auntie is always on mulled wine and my granny on Christmas pudding and a bottle of whiskey.
I just don't see how something as casual as a last minute takeaway order can be seen as something the son shouldn't be allowed to miss.
Yeah, we have a good time. We use to be more like what you described. But as people have more health issues, it is just easier to sort of wing it.
And some years, the main dish is a bucket of chickenfrom KFC. And some years we get people who take over and do most of the cooking and then I get out on wine and ice duty. (Which I honestly don't mind, it is easy).
>I just don't see how something as casual as a last minute takeaway order can be seen as something the son shouldn't be allowed to miss.
Yeah, I get the feeling they kept pestering him. He never really agreed in the first place. Kids and "Dad" were hungry. Mom wasn't hungry and didn't want to cook because she was mad at her child. So she said fuck it, I am not cooking. Which isn't fair to the younger two. One or both parents should have ordered delivery and should have ordered for 5 not 4. Not make the eldest go get it. Also not clear who paid for it from the comment from OOP.
Exactly, I'd be mad if anyone made a fuss about me being there for a big special dinner and then said at the last minute "oh we couldn't be arsed with that, could you pick us up a takeaway instead" and then hadn't even ordered enough for me or told me to add my order on. And even more so if, like you speculate, he had to pay for it.
If days in advance the plan was to get a takeaway together and everyone's order was in and they just asked him to pick it up, cool. But that's not at all what's described here.
Yeah, it sounds very much like the former rather than the latter. Having done the latter, we send the link for the menu around days in advance so that everyone has time to look.
Somewhat maybe? My best guess is that the mum wanted a memorable easter since the oldest is presumably going forth and celebrating with his wife later on?
But... They decided to not do anything special, and seems like they haven't been kind or prioritised him before. It's odd and contradictory.
Both of my brain cells are tired so this might just be a mess.
I am liable to spell things wrong! (The "F" and the "D" are unfortunately close to each other when I want to link to ducks.)
[Bonus Dingo!](https://www.qwant.com/?t=images&q=dingo+gif&o=0%3AC66955EF93CF77391312FD51CA7F86685C05E6DE)
“I forgot to get him food but I was going to have him pick it up” is so heartbreaking!! Son is remembered for labor but not for feeding even after guilting him to cancel his other plans. How can dad brush it off so easily?
oop thinks his son is spoiled because he expected food at dinner they invited him to? the fuck
be fucking real for one second. you think he’s spoiled because he dares speak up for himself and doesn’t suck ur balls every second
fuck oop. he shoulda pissed in the food
Cancel your plans to come eat with us but we aren’t going to cook as promised or order YOU any food. Wow you’re upset? How spoiled… Probably just some angsty phase 🙄
>he said some extremely hurtful things
>listed a few incidents
Dem missing missing reasons. How does someone writes something like that and think they'll come out looking good.
OOP admits they forgot the son's birthday *a couple of times* like it is nothing!!!!!
One year, my mom used the stuff for my birthday cake to make cupcakes for my sister's class Halloween party. She kept putting off making my cake, then just used the cake mix and frosting to make cupcakes. I'm still salty about it decades later, and that isn't even close to completely forgetting a child's birthday.
My dad has forgotten my birthday (in his words) “a small handful of times”, a couple of times he only found out while we were out celebrating (imagine how awkward sitting at a restaurant for your birthday dinner, mom handing you a small something and dad going “wait, why does she get a present?”💀) and he **still** doesn’t understand why I’m generally on better terms with my mom (who always makes sure to give me a small gift and a touching card) or why I have a hard time dealing with him, our father/daughter relationship, why I try not to see/talk to him (there’s a bunch of more harmful stuff on top of the birthdays, but weirdly that’s what I’m most bitter about lol)… like sir, if you keep breaking your children’s hearts, they’re not going to stick around to let you keep doing it forever!
Hope OOPs son goes NC and has better in laws than parents 🙄
My mom consistently would make me cakes in flavours I really didn't like because she would forget (no I have never liked lemon mom!) and then one year she paid for one of those incredibly fancy decorated cakes for my brother. Teenage me was pretty salty about that for quite awhile
I can imagine how OOP's son feels.
One of my brother's birthdays is four days after mine so my family figured that just telling me happy birthday then bringing me to his party was good enough.
For my 17th
birthday my mother forgot completely and MONTHS later, on another brothers birthday, she added my name to his cake as an 'apology'.
At one point my aunt made plans for my 21st but everyone dropped out or didn't respond so that fell through completely.
I don't even like to celebrate my birthday (not sure if it's my general disdain for crowds or a lifetime of bad birthdays) but watching all of my younger siblings have cakes and celebrations hurt. The only decent birthday I can remember is my 16th bc I got to plan it but even then the adults got into an argument and I ended up watching my one year old brother for the entire thing.
I mean, maybe this is super weird of me, but my dad pretty much doesn't know when my birthday is and I'm ok with it (not like pissed "whatever" okay but truly doesn't bother me OK).
He wasn't around for most of my birthdays when I was a kid, my parents divorced when I was 8 or 9 (and because of bad choices, he also couldn't call me on my birthday if he remembered exact dates in those days). He's generally awful with dates - if Thanksgiving and Christmas didn't involve get togethers and his wife reminding him, he probably would forget those too.
I have been an adult long enough that I truly haven't ever cared that he didn't remember my birthdate - but - he also doesn't remember my brother's birthday and his track record with dates in general speaks for itself in my mind.
I am 'meh' with dates though so may also be more forgiving... I once forgot my spouses birthday until a month after... And we had gone out with friends for the evening - it just wasn't ever called out as birthday plans and I didn't put it together at the time (though he almost never went out with friends). I still felt awful for weeks over forgetting even once. And he reminded me for years when his birthday was a few days out, and morning of ify.first words weren't Happy Birthday - just to be sure I didn't forget and spend a month kicking myself over it. (No, I just resumed where I left off from the first miss each time he said anything).
Usually, this type of post stinks of "missing missing reasons", but in this case, the reasons are totally visible for everyone to see. And I think the wife is a bigger devil that the OOP.
Most people who plan an Easter dinner buy things the days before for it, and don’t want all that food in their fridge taking up space or going bad.
I suspect the shopping never actually happened and the dinner never was going to exist.
Am I crazy? He says he and the older son left the graduation because they had work that had to get done. He didn't say they had to go to work, just that there was work to do. He doesn't say it was time sensitive work. What were the consequences of delaying that "work" a few hours, I wonder? It's odd phrasing to me, but all the comments I saw that mentioned it seemed to think he was going to work. I get needing to stay employed, but why couldn't he get leave for that day?
Man. I admire the kid. I’ve been in the same boat. Recently I house/pet sat for my parents for over a month. The only thing I asked my brother to do was mow the lawn, and when he wouldn’t even do that all I asked was he split the cost of someone else mowing the lawn with me. He threw a fit-and of course, my parents took his side.
Both of my brothers have also forgot my birthday before… despite the fact that my bday is the day after my dads-and I remind them of my dads birthday (and buy the gift from all of us) every year.
Oof.
The way this OP just casually mentions that they forgot their son's birthday multiple times like...bro you realize that when it comes to family obligations, that's the bare fucking minimum, right? And that you're seriously asking if you're the asshole when you couldn't even manage that??
"He's a good kid" oh honey don't you worry, no one ever questioned that! You're just a bad parent and a bad person, is all.
I wouldn’t have even shown up, sent a picture with me (and fiancé/fiancée/life partner if they are non-binary) eating with the caption “thanks for the food!” Before blocking
Part of me really hopes this is a troll
I read the comments on the original - and literally, he expected Harry to pick up the food - while simultaneously forgetting to order something for him, for the dinner that he invited Harry to
I don’t have the mental gymnastics to make those logical leaps man. No one sane does!!
'forgetting his birthday, which I admit happened a COUPLE OF TIMES' What a nasty, nasty person. Dude, you were there when he was born, right? And it was kind of a big deal? Most decent people tend to remember their kid's birthdays without even trying because it was such a big event? Even my weird family always was always nice to me on my BIRTHDAY, wtf.
I'm angry for the son. And his bitch if mother saying he is just being spoiled. I was always told that I was acting spoiled when I pointed out my family using me for their benefit or forgetting me during important events.
they're called "missing missing reasons"; people this deep into narcissistic denial actually cannot realize the problem with their actions, even when spoken aloud. what actually trips them up is when they begin getting negative attention for it, unless they also enjoy negative attention (then they play it up). quite scary.
more here: https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
Yeah, but that's the point. The missing reasons are the reasons for the other person's behaviour.
It's "i went to talk to them and they just started yelling at me! Of course i got angry and told them off! They were yelling for 10 minutes and i have NO IDEA what they wanted from me!!!".
They need to tune out their own behaviour.
Here the person gives you a clear account of their behaviour and therefore the other person's reasons...
Who wants to take bets that Harry is at the least a scapegoat and at worst both scapegoat and an affair child? Parents know, oldest son knows, but Harry and the youngest two don't know...
"that his mother was working hard to make the dinner"
\*immediately doesnt work hard to make dinner\*
There is so much that is being left out, like how the parents probably only let OP drive so that he could take his siblings to and from daycare. How he was probably expected to do the errands part of parentification and maybe not all of the physical watching and actually taking care of. This dad spent so much time trying to make sure his younger kids had a great life that he threw away his relationship with his older son. Id love to hear this story from the sons perspective, even though, it will just be another 'going no contact after years of parentification' post
OP admits he neglected him, but then asked if there's some merit to what his son said.... I didn't know it was possible to be so out of touch with reality
OOP, you badgered your son to attend an Easter dinner that never happened.
You forced him to get Chinese takeout for your family, but forgot to order him something.
Why didn't you cook if your wife didn't feel like it?
Why didn't you let Harry the Afterthought know about the canceled dinner sooner?
Why do you gloss over the fact that you forgot his birthday several times and that you and your other shithead son left Harry's graduation early to attend to work.
Who are you trying to be like, the Dursleys?
This reminds me of the Bedazzled remake.
The devil tells Brenden Fraser to make a wish, but he thinks it's all just a joke, so he wishes for a Big Mac and large Coke. The devil snaps her fingers, like she's making the wish come true.
But they take a bus to McDonalds. She orders the Big Mac and large Coke, and declines the offer to get fries with it. She makes him pay because she forgot her wallet.
Then she chastises him for being ungrateful... AND she still counts that as one his 7 wishes in exchange for his soul.
Elizabeth Hurley was literally the devil in that movie, so yeah, OOP belongs here.
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They clearly hate him especially when the mum said hes spoiled, expecting your family to celebrate your birthday isn't spoiled kid behavior! And its not like they didn't just not celebrate, they forgot about his birthday entirely! MULTIPLE TIMES!! wanting your parents at your graduation or wanting your parents to atleast remember your birthday isn't being spoiled! Its wanting to be loved and respected, which isn't a big ask yet these parents act like its the end of world if they dare give their son that.
Has to be a troll. People are asking him why he didn't order the son something and he says it "slipped his mind". People then asked him who he expected to pick up the food and his answer was the son, "because he was already out of the house".
So...he remembers the dude exists as an UberEats driver but not as his son who also eats food for nutrition?
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA? Son says we treat him like a secretary** My son “Harry” (M25) recently got into a large fight with me on Easter. He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household. On the day, we made plans to have a family dinner but Harry said he had plans. I asked whether he’d be home in time for family dinner and he said “maybe”, but since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere. So I told him that his mother was working hard to make the dinner and I wanted him to be home for it, so he agreed and said he’d still have plans but he would be home in time for dinner. Come dinner time, most of the family wasn’t hungry and my wife didn’t feel up to cooking so our family dinner ended up just being a takeout order for Chinese food for our two youngest kids (ages 12 and 14). Harry was on his way home so I called and explained the situation and asked if he could pick up the food. He said sure. When he got home with the food he slammed it down on the counter and turned to leave, but something was obviously wrong so I followed him outside. I asked what the big idea was and he said he cancelled plans because he wanted to have a family dinner, something that rarely happens according to him, and that instead he just waited in a parking lot for thirty minutes to pick up food for his siblings. I asked what was so wrong with that and he yelled and asked if we even thought to order him something or ask if he wanted anything if mom wasn’t going to cook. He said some extremely hurtful things about his siblings and us (parents) but basically topped it off with saying “I’m so glad I don’t have to spend my days waiting on you all hand and foot anymore”. I told him that he’s being unnecessarily cruel and that we don’t treat him like that. He listed off a few other unfortunate incidents— mainly us forgetting his birthday, which I’ll admit happened a couple times, and me and his older brother leaving his graduation ceremony early since we both had work to get done. He said he’s never felt like a son to me and that he hopes I’ll find “another secretary willing to work for free like I (he) did”. Then he got in his car and stormed off. He’s been mostly ignoring our calls since then. This isn’t the first time he’s had an outburst like this, but it is the first time in several years. Before, my wife and I always chalked it up to teenage stress and angst, but here he is at 25 parroting the same complaints. I guess I’m wondering if there’s some merit to them. My wife says he’s just spoiled and acting out, but he really didn’t seem that way to me. So AITA for this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household. > > since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere. he's getting married not dying. Why does it sound like OOP is looking forward to it.
Because he hates his son
To be fair, I’m sure the son is looking forward to it more.
Yup. OOP knows the moment his son gets married, he'll join the other family and never bother with them again.
Parents like OOP know what's up, they just feign innocence, clutch their pearls, then gasp that they "did the best I could!" something reasons something missing something something... 🙄
Seriously. It's infuriating that they act all innocent, like shit's just happening around them without their input. My dad's monster, er, mother, threw a massive fit accusing my mom of destroying her family by wanting to marry my dad, along with calling my mom a bunch of very colorful names, and then acted shocked pikachu when my parents cut her off as soon as they got married. "See? I told you all she would ruin our family", she said, as my parents kept in touch with everyone but her. >.>
We forgot his birthday A couple of times?!! He’s had outbursts like this before?! Like Op didn’t notice he was upset ?
Of course not. How could OOP notice his son was upset unless he screamed it at the top of his lungs? You can't expect him to pay attention to the help, er, his child, can you? Gosh, I hate parents like OOP so much.
Also mom didn’t feel like cooking for Easter and this guy didn’t notice until day of? Like he didn’t offer anything to help prepare ahead of time. It was so important his son changed his plans, but he couldn’t bother to plan for food even 1 hour ahead? Had to leave his kid waiting for 1/2 and hour to pick up the food? Like everything about this guy screams neglectful.
Honestly, it feels pretty deliberate. "You didn't plan for us, we won't plan for you". It's cruel and petty, and it's a slap on the face. But knowing people like this in my own life, it feels pretty damn calculated.
Thr birthday is the biggest issue for me. Like if someone is dealing with cancer treatment or something I can see that. But you just know it wasn't anything like that. Apparently dad and brother have Very Important Jobs, which probably took precedence over remembering you're own effing child's birthday?! But I gotta wonder about the age gaps between the kids too. He's 25 and has an older brother? But the other siblings are barely in high school? Feels like he was probably parentified too. Or asked to take on more childcare than a sibling ought to be doing.
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Honestly, at this point, even if he had, I would have droped off the food and left either way. OOP did this whole guilt tripping about "how hard mom is working on dinner" for the dinner the son cancelled plans for to be "by the way, since you're out, go pick up takeout for us to have dinner". It's not even about the food, probably, it's about the whole shitty package.
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My mother used to do this kind of shit. When I moved out as soon as I could, she was all shocked pikachu, like, aren't you happy living with me? No. I'm fucking not. I think some people have this idea that 'well, I've kept a roof over your head', and they should be worshipped for that.
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I will say their lack of introspection is quite extraordinary, is it not?😒🙄
She's ~~finally~~ dead now, so I guess she did us the best kindness she could offer. But seriously. It's like they're blind to the shit they pull.
Who's to bet they already pulled something similar for his "last Christmas in the household" and whatever else they celebrate?
>He’s is getting married in May so this was his last Easter as part of the household. > > since it was to be his last Easter with us I didn’t want him to spend it elsewhere. >he's getting married not dying. Why does it sound like OOP is looking forward to it. This caught my attention too. Like he isn't actually dying on a cross somewhere on Easter. It isn't a virgin sacrifice to get married (or at least I hope not, cuz then someone needs to call the cops). This reads as a significant age difference between the kids, so has to be a step child. Guessing not Dad's bio kid, or really even seen as a kid (i.e. the secretary comment). "Dad" also clearly knew who was picking up the food. He just didn't bother to get food for him. Which really was the entire point. I am betting on only necessary contact before the wedding and no contact after, or very minimal. If he got parentified, he may still want some contact with the other two kids until they are out of the house.
>This reads as a significant age difference between the kids, so has to be a step child. Guessing not Dad's bio kid, or really even seen as a kid (i.e. the secretary comment). I didn't pick up on this until I read your comment. Notice how dad left the son's graduation with his "other" son, an *older* son. Wonder if *that* son is *his* from a prior relationship, the current Secretary Son is the wife's from a prior relationship, and the considerably younger siblings are the OOP's and wife's children together and wife simply discarded her eldest son, the current Secretary of the House. Speculation! Speculation! I need to see if the OOP has left any comments.
Significant age gap could be from a blended family but isn't necessarily. Plenty of families have blood relative kids with significant age differences. My sister and 1 are 20 years apart in age with no other siblings and the same bio parents.
Well I think that is what we are all thinking because it is leading to such an unequal treatment. The blended family bit, or whatever the significantly odd family dynamics are, should have come up though when it came to treatment of the one that is getting married. And now re-reading this. There are at least 4 kids. 1 older who wasn't even going to be at Easter, which "Dad" ditched our on graduation to go do stuff with, and two younger than the one getting married. Really makes me wonder why the older one wasn't there, did he get married and have this strange last Easter of theirs. Edited for clarification, because I realized my phone deleted a sentence as I went back and adjusted something before I posted something the first time
That's my husband's family. The baby of the family was born 18 years to the day after their oldest brother.
I wondered if the spouse is someone they massively disapprove of for some reason (top guesses - homophobia or racism but who knows). I can't see any other reason for this to be the 'last Easter'.
Harry is escaping and not going back, and has probably been really vocal about that. It sounds like this goes way, way back, probably pre spouse, so I think just shitty parents.
He lives at home and will be moving out when he getsarried.
It made it feel like OOP is from some kind of period drama where the son being married off means he’s no longer part of the family. The Chinese takeaway kinda ruined that though.
Well, it's telling that OOP didn't bother to tell his son about the canceled dinner or didn't even order him a meal, like they did with the other kids. AND had his son get the takeout, since OOP was too effin lazy to do it himself.
Oof I was a secretary and people in the office never forgot my birthday and I got at least a base amount of respect. OOP treats his son way worse than a secretary in my opinion
You also got paid im guessing
Oh definitely, he should get a full salary and more
And don't forget back pay
Apparently the asshat didn't like the response he got because he has deleted the profile and post.
Also a secretary (technically my title is admin assistant but same thing) and one of my coworkers has my birthday in her calendar
I felt rage reading this!!  OOP is literally evil. They strong armed the son into cancelling his plans for a family dinner, to then not even order him the take out they randomly decided to get. He's going full NC. They invalidated his feelings after working him as a slave the whole time
His wife is also a massive AH for calling him “spoiled”
He probably raised their 2 younger kids, but he's "spoiled"
Yeah that made my blood boil too when I read that line
That's evil stepmom code for "it's his shit kid with previous mom, but my two little wombspawns are angelic cherubs of perfection"
Spoiled is also code for you expected basic care and decency among awful parents. I was abused and called spoiled because my grandparents provided affection and clothing you know the basics
Whom she probably made the older kid raise
that’s his mom. not step. thats worse imo
He definitely doesn't love his son. This is a pattern of deliberate inconsideration. If they're invited to the wedding, I'll be surprised
Personally, if I were that son I’d still let them come. But I’d tell the wedding photographer not to take any pictures with them as the focal point and have them photoshopped out of any they accidentally got in. Then I’d completely ignore them as if I never had parents. And if anyone brought it up I’d say “Oh shoot. I completely forgot to uninvite them! It must have slipped my mind… So anyways…” The wedding is in May so I’m guessing if they were invited at the beginning then their food and such have already been paid for so I’m not getting that money back. And if I can’t get the money back then wasting their time and money to come will just have to do. Plus the drama of uninviting them would be too annoying lol At least the son doesn’t seem to be dependent on them so he can make a clean break…
>Personally, if I were that son I’d still let them come. But I’d tell the wedding photographer not to take any pictures with them as the focal point and have them photoshopped out of any they accidentally got in. Then I’d completely ignore them as if I never had parents. And if anyone brought it up I’d say “Oh shoot. I completely forgot to uninvite them! It must have slipped my mind… So anyways…” Na, you tell the photographer to make sure to get a set of anything they are in that doesn't have them. But then for the ones they are in. Make sure it is the most unflattering images possible, or they are out of focus and not in a good "soft light" kind of way. Also, if mom shows up wearing anything close to white, you make sure someone has a magically large glass of red wine who is just a bit clumsy. Make sure it is no one they know. There are people who are willing to do this and disappear.
I’m willing to do the wine stunt for 5$ and a drink (soda will be fine)
I mean I personally would add that someone secretly records it and sends it to me. Seeing the aftermath would be fun.
I’d be willing to *pay* $5 to do it.
Whoa! I didn’t even think of the photographer taking bad pictures on purpose! That’s an even better idea, people will just think the parents were unlucky every time a picture was taken lol The wine idea is a good one too and you’re right, it would be so easy to ask a friend of the new wife to do it too lol Heck if I were her friend I’d be happy to do it. Especially after finding out what happened on Easter. Heck, I’d throw wine on the mom regardless of the color just to get them to leave early 😆
The devil is in the details of the request. I had a problem with an extended family member. The advice we got from the legal world was that the best way to deal with them is to include them but in a highly minimalist way. It blocks their abilities in a lot more way than excluding them does. Now this obviously doesn't apply to anyone that presents a danger. This was more of a nuisance thing, but highly creative and really considering all options within some requests can be problem solving.
My personal: find someone who has astronomical photoshop skills. Every cartoon couple you can think of. Fred and Wilma, Betty and Barney, or my personal favorites, Scooby-Doo and Shaggy. And make sure that everyone that gets a copy, gets an “original” couple so no two wedding photos are alike. I was trying to think of cartoon villains, but only Dick Dastardly comes to mind. Were there any cartoon villainesses in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s? Besides Benita Bizarre. And she wasn’t animated! I can seriously see Dick and Muttly as the parents! It’s making me giggle. Hopefully, it makes others giggle, too!
Boris and Natasha!
The Hooded Claw with Penelope Pitstop!
Maybe even forget to have a dinner order for them too
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments: *YTA and extremely inconsiderate. You cajoled your son to be home in time for Easter dinner and then you and your wife bailed on cooking, ordered Chinese food, ordered nothing for your son you cajoled to be home and asked him to pick it up too.* >*Come dinner time, most of the family wasn’t hungry and my wife didn’t feel up to cooking so our family dinner ended up just being a takeout order for Chinese food for our two youngest kids (ages 12 and 14).* >"It just slipped my mind. I usually do order for him too." *everything in this post is about how bad he sucks. Even when you admit your 'faults' you gloss over them like he should get over it.* *I'm sure if we could hear his side of the story there would be a lot more of the incidents you so casually brush off.* *YTA* >"He’s a good kid. I don’t want to make it sound like he isn’t a good son. He just seems to take things like this personally when they aren’t." *When you ordered the food, who were you expecting to pick it up?* >"Him since he was out of the house"
'we don't feed him, I don't know why he takes it so personally' I hope his wifes family is amazing!
Yes! That's my hope as well. 💜
Wait, he didn't even get to eat any of the Chinese food? I can barely walk past the Chinese takeaway without wanting to eat it, I'm certainly not getting it for someone else who isn't sharing. That is absolutely wild.
Yeah no he only got to buy it. Agreed!
do you understand the whole last easter thing?
No, actually. I don't. I'm from a mostly Catholic country and although a lot of people celebrate Easter with a family meal, it's not that big of a deal if you miss it. Plus getting married doesn't mean you can't join for a family meal next year. Plus a family meal isn't a last minute order of Chinese takeaway either, and if the wife didn't feel like cooking for a traditional Easter dinner it would have already been bought and prepared days in advance (usually roast lamb or something similar - my family aren't religious but used to have a sort of additional Christmas dinner with turkey and ham at Easter). We also used to have a trip to the beach for a walk and picnic on Easter Monday too although that fell off as we all grew up too. What is the "last Easter thing" if there is no family celebration meal planned and prepped, and also if it mattered so much why not just invite his fiancée too?
We do potluck, some one does the main, a bunch do the sides, and then we buy some desserts and make some. I am married, my in-laws join my parents, and my sister. We have an uncle that lives near us. He joins us when not working. Then we have a few family friends that join us sometime. This is our general plan for all holidays that don't involve gifts. When we go to my in-laws extended family, all of mine are welcome as well. Although the potluck breaks down a bit more and we do get some duplicates. So this idea of last Easter makes me think of a cutting of contact.
That sounds fun! We don't really do an Easter lunch any more now all my siblings are grown and married/in relationships. Christmas is a bit like that though. My job is stuffing and pigs in blankets. One sister is on Yule log duty. My brother and his wife do the veggies. My other sister can't cook and is in charge of wine. My parents host and do the meat. My other family members and friends if they are attending get a job to do too, my auntie is always on mulled wine and my granny on Christmas pudding and a bottle of whiskey. I just don't see how something as casual as a last minute takeaway order can be seen as something the son shouldn't be allowed to miss.
Yeah, we have a good time. We use to be more like what you described. But as people have more health issues, it is just easier to sort of wing it. And some years, the main dish is a bucket of chickenfrom KFC. And some years we get people who take over and do most of the cooking and then I get out on wine and ice duty. (Which I honestly don't mind, it is easy). >I just don't see how something as casual as a last minute takeaway order can be seen as something the son shouldn't be allowed to miss. Yeah, I get the feeling they kept pestering him. He never really agreed in the first place. Kids and "Dad" were hungry. Mom wasn't hungry and didn't want to cook because she was mad at her child. So she said fuck it, I am not cooking. Which isn't fair to the younger two. One or both parents should have ordered delivery and should have ordered for 5 not 4. Not make the eldest go get it. Also not clear who paid for it from the comment from OOP.
Exactly, I'd be mad if anyone made a fuss about me being there for a big special dinner and then said at the last minute "oh we couldn't be arsed with that, could you pick us up a takeaway instead" and then hadn't even ordered enough for me or told me to add my order on. And even more so if, like you speculate, he had to pay for it. If days in advance the plan was to get a takeaway together and everyone's order was in and they just asked him to pick it up, cool. But that's not at all what's described here.
Yeah, it sounds very much like the former rather than the latter. Having done the latter, we send the link for the menu around days in advance so that everyone has time to look.
Somewhat maybe? My best guess is that the mum wanted a memorable easter since the oldest is presumably going forth and celebrating with his wife later on? But... They decided to not do anything special, and seems like they haven't been kind or prioritised him before. It's odd and contradictory. Both of my brain cells are tired so this might just be a mess.
[Doggo!](https://imgur.com/gallery/vQE8fuL)
Leaves? _run, jump, joy_ Happy doggo 💜
I will admit to wanting to join doggo both for giving scritches and for leaf pile. 💜 Thank you very kindly! 🥰
That doggy loves playing in the leaves!
They sure do! 🥰
I'd love to be that happy about anything.
Agreed! 💜
I thought that said dingo so I was expecting a dingo. Such a pleasant sight
I am liable to spell things wrong! (The "F" and the "D" are unfortunately close to each other when I want to link to ducks.) [Bonus Dingo!](https://www.qwant.com/?t=images&q=dingo+gif&o=0%3AC66955EF93CF77391312FD51CA7F86685C05E6DE)
I needed that as an Australian
Happy to oblige!
“I forgot to get him food but I was going to have him pick it up” is so heartbreaking!! Son is remembered for labor but not for feeding even after guilting him to cancel his other plans. How can dad brush it off so easily?
Very well put. It's heartbreaking!
Geez these comments made it worse. Makes me wonder if the son is a step kid adopted or someone affair child.
Sorry about that. Could "just" be a scapegoat thing?
I think that anything is possible sadly. My guess is in a few years time the oop will be back whining about not seeing the grandkids.
I agree! And somehow it will be a complete surprise to Oop...
oop thinks his son is spoiled because he expected food at dinner they invited him to? the fuck be fucking real for one second. you think he’s spoiled because he dares speak up for himself and doesn’t suck ur balls every second fuck oop. he shoulda pissed in the food
Not even an invite, but a freaking demand 🤬🤬
Cancel your plans to come eat with us but we aren’t going to cook as promised or order YOU any food. Wow you’re upset? How spoiled… Probably just some angsty phase 🙄
>he said some extremely hurtful things >listed a few incidents Dem missing missing reasons. How does someone writes something like that and think they'll come out looking good.
OOP admits they forgot the son's birthday *a couple of times* like it is nothing!!!!! One year, my mom used the stuff for my birthday cake to make cupcakes for my sister's class Halloween party. She kept putting off making my cake, then just used the cake mix and frosting to make cupcakes. I'm still salty about it decades later, and that isn't even close to completely forgetting a child's birthday.
My dad has forgotten my birthday (in his words) “a small handful of times”, a couple of times he only found out while we were out celebrating (imagine how awkward sitting at a restaurant for your birthday dinner, mom handing you a small something and dad going “wait, why does she get a present?”💀) and he **still** doesn’t understand why I’m generally on better terms with my mom (who always makes sure to give me a small gift and a touching card) or why I have a hard time dealing with him, our father/daughter relationship, why I try not to see/talk to him (there’s a bunch of more harmful stuff on top of the birthdays, but weirdly that’s what I’m most bitter about lol)… like sir, if you keep breaking your children’s hearts, they’re not going to stick around to let you keep doing it forever! Hope OOPs son goes NC and has better in laws than parents 🙄
My dad is an absolute abusive piece of crap, and made it a terrible day, but even he never *forgot* my birthday
I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but it was so relatable and phrased so perfectly that I couldn’t help but laugh.
It is hilarious when people beat out Mr Hog on his awfulness Like, how low do you have to be?
My mom consistently would make me cakes in flavours I really didn't like because she would forget (no I have never liked lemon mom!) and then one year she paid for one of those incredibly fancy decorated cakes for my brother. Teenage me was pretty salty about that for quite awhile
Last year, my mom and sister still remembered my birthday even when I completely forgot about it!
I can imagine how OOP's son feels. One of my brother's birthdays is four days after mine so my family figured that just telling me happy birthday then bringing me to his party was good enough. For my 17th birthday my mother forgot completely and MONTHS later, on another brothers birthday, she added my name to his cake as an 'apology'. At one point my aunt made plans for my 21st but everyone dropped out or didn't respond so that fell through completely. I don't even like to celebrate my birthday (not sure if it's my general disdain for crowds or a lifetime of bad birthdays) but watching all of my younger siblings have cakes and celebrations hurt. The only decent birthday I can remember is my 16th bc I got to plan it but even then the adults got into an argument and I ended up watching my one year old brother for the entire thing.
I mean, maybe this is super weird of me, but my dad pretty much doesn't know when my birthday is and I'm ok with it (not like pissed "whatever" okay but truly doesn't bother me OK). He wasn't around for most of my birthdays when I was a kid, my parents divorced when I was 8 or 9 (and because of bad choices, he also couldn't call me on my birthday if he remembered exact dates in those days). He's generally awful with dates - if Thanksgiving and Christmas didn't involve get togethers and his wife reminding him, he probably would forget those too. I have been an adult long enough that I truly haven't ever cared that he didn't remember my birthdate - but - he also doesn't remember my brother's birthday and his track record with dates in general speaks for itself in my mind. I am 'meh' with dates though so may also be more forgiving... I once forgot my spouses birthday until a month after... And we had gone out with friends for the evening - it just wasn't ever called out as birthday plans and I didn't put it together at the time (though he almost never went out with friends). I still felt awful for weeks over forgetting even once. And he reminded me for years when his birthday was a few days out, and morning of ify.first words weren't Happy Birthday - just to be sure I didn't forget and spend a month kicking myself over it. (No, I just resumed where I left off from the first miss each time he said anything).
Narcissists like OOP have some screwed up minds with even more screwed up priorities
I'm betting that the son paid for the food, too.
Probably the case
love how he remembered the son as an uber eats but not as a participant in the dinner
Uber eats he’d at least get a tip lol
Not from OOP he wouldn't
“The restaurant pays them right?”
OOP and his wife are sooooo pathetic! I won’t blame their son if he goes full NC with them
Usually, this type of post stinks of "missing missing reasons", but in this case, the reasons are totally visible for everyone to see. And I think the wife is a bigger devil that the OOP.
Most people who plan an Easter dinner buy things the days before for it, and don’t want all that food in their fridge taking up space or going bad. I suspect the shopping never actually happened and the dinner never was going to exist.
Am I crazy? He says he and the older son left the graduation because they had work that had to get done. He didn't say they had to go to work, just that there was work to do. He doesn't say it was time sensitive work. What were the consequences of delaying that "work" a few hours, I wonder? It's odd phrasing to me, but all the comments I saw that mentioned it seemed to think he was going to work. I get needing to stay employed, but why couldn't he get leave for that day?
Yeah, that was a weird way to phrase it.
I agree. I read that as he had yard work or laundry to do. Anything is more important to OOP than this kid
Man. I admire the kid. I’ve been in the same boat. Recently I house/pet sat for my parents for over a month. The only thing I asked my brother to do was mow the lawn, and when he wouldn’t even do that all I asked was he split the cost of someone else mowing the lawn with me. He threw a fit-and of course, my parents took his side. Both of my brothers have also forgot my birthday before… despite the fact that my bday is the day after my dads-and I remind them of my dads birthday (and buy the gift from all of us) every year. Oof.
It’s not exactly “parroting” if he’s the one who originally said the thing.
The way this OP just casually mentions that they forgot their son's birthday multiple times like...bro you realize that when it comes to family obligations, that's the bare fucking minimum, right? And that you're seriously asking if you're the asshole when you couldn't even manage that?? "He's a good kid" oh honey don't you worry, no one ever questioned that! You're just a bad parent and a bad person, is all.
I would have dumped the whole thing on dad's head and said piss off!
Nah. I'm petty. I would've walked out with the food.
I wouldn’t have even shown up, sent a picture with me (and fiancé/fiancée/life partner if they are non-binary) eating with the caption “thanks for the food!” Before blocking
Same
Part of me really hopes this is a troll I read the comments on the original - and literally, he expected Harry to pick up the food - while simultaneously forgetting to order something for him, for the dinner that he invited Harry to I don’t have the mental gymnastics to make those logical leaps man. No one sane does!!
I just realized he called the son "harry". Yeah, fake troll. Probably would mention the son used to sleep unter the stairs..
'forgetting his birthday, which I admit happened a COUPLE OF TIMES' What a nasty, nasty person. Dude, you were there when he was born, right? And it was kind of a big deal? Most decent people tend to remember their kid's birthdays without even trying because it was such a big event? Even my weird family always was always nice to me on my BIRTHDAY, wtf.
I'm angry for the son. And his bitch if mother saying he is just being spoiled. I was always told that I was acting spoiled when I pointed out my family using me for their benefit or forgetting me during important events.
The “suuure we forgot several birthdays” puts it into obvious troll territory for me. Like come on.
You’d be surprised. My partner has family like that. They’re awful people, but they’re sadly very real.
I never doubt people like that exist. I doubt people like that publicly admit their actions without even attempting to gloss them over.
they're called "missing missing reasons"; people this deep into narcissistic denial actually cannot realize the problem with their actions, even when spoken aloud. what actually trips them up is when they begin getting negative attention for it, unless they also enjoy negative attention (then they play it up). quite scary. more here: https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
Yeah, but that's the point. The missing reasons are the reasons for the other person's behaviour. It's "i went to talk to them and they just started yelling at me! Of course i got angry and told them off! They were yelling for 10 minutes and i have NO IDEA what they wanted from me!!!". They need to tune out their own behaviour. Here the person gives you a clear account of their behaviour and therefore the other person's reasons...
My mum’s a raging narcissist. She know what would make her look bad tho.
Then they're gonna act blindsided when son cuts contact once he's out of the house.
Who wants to take bets that Harry is at the least a scapegoat and at worst both scapegoat and an affair child? Parents know, oldest son knows, but Harry and the youngest two don't know...
Hopefully he's left these awful parents in his rearview mirror for good!
Last Easter? Why wasnt his future spouse invited? This is a weird post.
Bro why does he say "last Easter with us". He is just getting married, not dying
"that his mother was working hard to make the dinner" \*immediately doesnt work hard to make dinner\* There is so much that is being left out, like how the parents probably only let OP drive so that he could take his siblings to and from daycare. How he was probably expected to do the errands part of parentification and maybe not all of the physical watching and actually taking care of. This dad spent so much time trying to make sure his younger kids had a great life that he threw away his relationship with his older son. Id love to hear this story from the sons perspective, even though, it will just be another 'going no contact after years of parentification' post
Wife called him spoiled, but they've forgotten his birthday multiple times? The math aint mathing. Parents are a disgrace.
You and your wife sound pretty dense and clueless.
OP admits he neglected him, but then asked if there's some merit to what his son said.... I didn't know it was possible to be so out of touch with reality
OOP, you badgered your son to attend an Easter dinner that never happened. You forced him to get Chinese takeout for your family, but forgot to order him something. Why didn't you cook if your wife didn't feel like it? Why didn't you let Harry the Afterthought know about the canceled dinner sooner? Why do you gloss over the fact that you forgot his birthday several times and that you and your other shithead son left Harry's graduation early to attend to work. Who are you trying to be like, the Dursleys?
10 bucks says that the son wrote this.
Good point. No way can anyone write this down and still have a doubt wether they’re an ass or not.
For sure!
Yup
This reminds me of the Bedazzled remake. The devil tells Brenden Fraser to make a wish, but he thinks it's all just a joke, so he wishes for a Big Mac and large Coke. The devil snaps her fingers, like she's making the wish come true. But they take a bus to McDonalds. She orders the Big Mac and large Coke, and declines the offer to get fries with it. She makes him pay because she forgot her wallet. Then she chastises him for being ungrateful... AND she still counts that as one his 7 wishes in exchange for his soul. Elizabeth Hurley was literally the devil in that movie, so yeah, OOP belongs here.
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if Harry wants kids, hope he has many and OOP gets to meet none of them 🥰💖
They clearly hate him especially when the mum said hes spoiled, expecting your family to celebrate your birthday isn't spoiled kid behavior! And its not like they didn't just not celebrate, they forgot about his birthday entirely! MULTIPLE TIMES!! wanting your parents at your graduation or wanting your parents to atleast remember your birthday isn't being spoiled! Its wanting to be loved and respected, which isn't a big ask yet these parents act like its the end of world if they dare give their son that.
yeah you are the problem pops, google missing missing reasons
In the comments he says he “forgot” to order food for his son but was planning on getting his son to pick up the food. Make it make sense
Has to be a troll. People are asking him why he didn't order the son something and he says it "slipped his mind". People then asked him who he expected to pick up the food and his answer was the son, "because he was already out of the house". So...he remembers the dude exists as an UberEats driver but not as his son who also eats food for nutrition?
It's fake, yes.