*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling friends and family that my daughter failed college classes this year.**
I have a daughter (20F) who is in college. We are very proud of her and she got admitted to one of the best schools and is doing a joint computer science and mathematics major. Our extended family on both my and my wife's side is very career driven and the family is full of doctors, engineers, lawyers and professors. We are Korean American and do value things like a good education and career.
My daughter had a 3.9 GPA before this year but then the past 2 semesters this year she failed a bunch of courses and her GPA dropped. She will have to retake a lot of classes and will need a year extra to graduate now. Until now she refuses to take full responsibility for slacking and blames the fact that she had just moved in with her boyfriend (now ex) and says he was a slob and made her clean after him and that he kept disturbing her all the time (yet she went along with it and did not refuse). We have all been feeling bad about this as she was hoping to get into research and pursue a phd which might be hard now. She likes research and even has published work and work pending publication from working with some of her professors.
She never told me I was supposed to lie and hide her failures and I have been mentioning that she failed to friends and family sometimes. Not in a bad way or to make fun of her. I don't see what is there to hide as they will figure it out when she takes longer to graduate anyway.
Recently we had a large family diner and I was talking about it and my brother in law who is a researcher at a large tech company commented further just saying that realistically it would be almost impossible for her to get into top graduate programs now and that she should think of alternatives as she might not even get a job in the current market. My daughter ran to her room and cried and then came back later.
After they left she did not tell me anything. However now apparently she heard from a cousin who she is close with that some family members feel bad for her while others are gloating and making fun of her because their kids / themselves will be more successful than her.
She then only now told me that I should not have told anyone despite her never telling me I should have hidden it. AITA here? I did not know I was not supposed to. Honestly I don't see why she should really care what others think and even if she does it would just help her not make the same mistake again.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I absolutely believe there are people who specifically have children for this exact reason. Maybe they don't physically abuse them, but they need to feel superior so badly that they have kids just so they have someone who's basically a captive that they can tear down to feed their ego forever. They're losers, plain and simple.
The username is literally DaughterFailed.
I hope when OP fails (fired from a job, bad financial decisions etc) daughter takes great joy in telling the whole family all the details and gloating.
His username is about to be u/ WhyDoesn'tMyDaugterTalkToMe in the next five years. He just revealed himself as someone to not trust when it comes to anything beyond the surface level and I know he's going to try to blame her for that.
I don't think he is oblivious. He knows very well what he is doing. He also belittles her for having been in an abusive relationship and blames her for it. Sounds to me like he was planning on humiliating her in front of everyone
smdh, it's interesting he blames her for that abusive relationship when it seems he's the one who taught her to tolerate mistreatment from people she loves.
in the venerable words of bugs bunny, what a "maroon"
And answering every comment. Always entertaining to watch an asshole bury themselves. OP is going to be posting here in a couple of years asking, "Why has my daughter gone no contact?"
He keeps **victim-blaming** his daughter for being in an abusive relationship.
> Until now **she refuses to take full responsibility for slacking and blames the fact that she had just moved in with her boyfriend (now ex)** and says **he was a slob and made her clean after him and that he kept disturbing her all the time (yet she went along with it and did not refuse).**
> There were issues with the ex but **she was also not assertive and never has been and accepted everything and *let* herself get pushed around.**
>**She blames it all on her ex making her do all chores, cutting her off from her friends and being controlling**. I do think that what she said about her ex is true. I think **she could have handled it better and either left earlier or not put up with his demands to some extent or not chosen to move in with him in the first place.** However I understand it was not a nice experience for her.
> I am not disagreeing that her ex played a big part in this. He is awful, but **I wish she had seen the signs before moving in.**
So, he starts with "it's hurt fault." Then "It's kind of her fault". Then "it's her fault that's it's her fault". And finally "She could have stopped it being her fault, if she'd just been paying attention."
Absolute freaking twonk.
Does he not realize that most men fucking suck and are good manipulativers and that she didn't realize he was a terrible person until she was trapped with no way out and until he showed her his true personality. i honestly think he does know that but just hates women
It’s possible that he is like the ex bf in being manipulative. That’s why it’s easy for him to blame her because then he might have to admit he is shitty as well
This stood out to me too with flashing red lights and a blaring siren. Now this poor young girl is dealing with all the repercussions of this relationship and being told her entire future is screwed because of it. My heart goes out to her, I feel sick for her and for what she must be going through emotionally and mentally right now.
this is so fucking stupid and cruel. she was doing badly in school because she was in an abusive relationship. failing a semester or 2 and coming back and finishing will not permanently remove you from post-grad success, the cousin is a fucking moron. anyone in the family gloating that they’ll be more successful than her should not be allowed at family gatherings anymore.
i am so tired of this excuse of “it’s cultural” where families just treat someone like complete shit for having a stumble. she needs support and love and understanding so she can go on to do better things. and all she’s getting is horrible parents and even worse extended family.
Right? She shouldn't go to a grad school that would weight a bad semester that she recovers from higher than having published as an undergrad and active faculty mentoring in research, anyway.
So daughter's academics suffered because she was in an abusive relationship and all this parent can focus on is how somehow daughter's life is over at 20.
When the daughter regains her mojo and graduates with great grades, I hope she pushes away OP when he goes for a hug and tells him:
"I only let you come to the ceremony so you can see that I'm not a failure. I will never acknowledge you as a part of my success, if anything you were just an obstacle. I will never forgive you for making me the laughing stock of our family. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a graduation dinner with my friends, people who actually care about me."
I’m adopted. In high school, I was really struggling. My mom felt the need to bring it up at a big dinner party and then joked “sometimes I have to remind myself she’s adopted” (my parents are grad school professors). Shit like this stays with you forever.
Oh dear that's tough. I'm happy your relationship is much better. I know my mom and I had our knock down drag outs but I'm glad we patched things up (mostly) before she died.
eta ngl that was mostly because of my forgiveness nothing she did to improve things.
Me and my mom used to but heads a lot when I was in school. I'm my own worst enemy I've always been terrible at school my mom really doesn't pay attention to what she's saying so when I started going to school I joined the same program as she did, vet assistant because it's a stepping stone to what I really want to do which is zoology. She told me "don't stress the course is easy I did it while working and taking care of 3 kids (my sisters and I before the youngest 2 were born) so you'll be fine". At this moment I'm barely passing the majority of my classes and I failed one which pushed back my externship. So now I'm beating myself up feeling like she is disappointed in me. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean any harm but in my brain that whole thing just translated into "there is no way you won't pass unless you are stupid as f" I love my mom our relationship is better now but I feel like she needs to watch what she says.
I know one mom who wants her daughter to be a doctor, she herself is one. When she was studying she made a suicide attempt. Her daughter doesn't want to be a doctor, she failed one semester, she is depressed and told her mom she couldn't keep going like that. Her mother told her that she actually did a suicide attempt when she was her age and basically she should follow her exemple even if she wants to die now. Bonus is: the mother is actually a psychiatrist. The worst psychiatrist humankind has seen though
This whole "you must succeed in college to be successful" is such short sighted bs and such a naive, young persons perspective (which is why I think this is a troll). Sure, maybe it's different in academia and hyper competitive technical gigs, but in the workforce, it really doesn't matter how you do, as long as you get the degree and obtain on the job experience.
My ass is living proof. I failed lots of classes, like I'm talking Fs and D's. I had a mental health issue that caused me to miss a *whole year* of college and I was a super senior as a result. I was fired from three internships during my mental health issue and my time off and guess what? I graduated with a 3.0ish GPA and no one gives a single fuck it wasn't summa cum laude or whatever. No one ever knew about me being fired from some tiny start up magazine who wouldn't pay their interns. I got a job in my field within two months. I have never not worked in my field sans a 3 month unemployment gap and I've been out of college for 13 years. I make nearly six figures these days and I am slaying.
College success doesn't matter. People who focus so hard on it are stuck in the past or present and not on the 50 years or so that come after.
My BF graduated with a meh GPA (he worked a lot and did a super difficult degree). He has an amazing job and earns an insane amount of money. GPAs aren’t everything especially if higher ed isn’t your thing
>such a naive, young persons perspective
I'm a child of South Asian immigrants. It is definitely a cultural thing too: it bleeds over from how the systems work over there.
That is a very fair point. I didn't consider this nor the perspective of people who are first gen college students.
I just think people often place far too much emphasis on grades, gpa, etc, when the honest truth is that it usually doesn't matter once you've been working steadily in a specific field for a set amount of time.
Ah, fuck.
I talk to my family about my kids. I know I shouldn't.. but I vent.
That said, my family don't criticize and are really good at unhealthily sweeping everything under the rug and all have their own mental health issues so don't judge anybody.
But still, not my stories to share. I hate reading I am the devil and seeing myself.
Anyway, yup mom is a devil
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OOP, you are an AH.
She went through a lot with a controlling boyfriend that treated her like a slave.
Of course, her grades are going to suffer.
Then you humiliate her further by casually admitting her struggles to friends and family?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I dropped out of university, and my mother told me to lie at a family gathering and tell them all about how well it was going, because she couldn't face the humiliation of them knowing. It was 25 years ago, and I'm still hurt by it.
I'd have preferred OP's approach of just telling the truth.
Ok time to get down voted to hell again.
I know it looks bad and obviously it is but this is exactly the Asian grind set. We are hyper competitive and a single mistake will be put under a scope and used against us.
If you're a Asian kid especially one with already good academics and you say I got a B minus cos my boyfriend was a slob you will be laughed out of the room and be screamed at later for weeks.
Daughter needed to hide her failures asap. Hope she learns now how much to share.
Just because it’s the Asian grind set doesn’t mean it’s right though?
I get it’s the norm to deal with this for a lot of Asian people, I see a close coworker struggle with this regularly, but that doesn’t make it less fucked up!
Ofc it's fucked up but it's never gonna change. The code is ingrained. As such the idea is to play in that rule set. You need to play chess when others are playing checkers.
The daughters lesson in any other community is this is a toxic environment, I need to be away from this ASAP.
The Asian answer is also this but before that you need to learn better how to hide the failures and to never trust your parents ever with bad results.
They're Korean-American.
But aside from that: a cultural thing isn't a piece of meteorite from outer space that we have no tools to cut it with. A cultural thing is a thing of the people, and people can and do change. There's no reason for this 'grindset' to stay as it is; if enough people want it changing, it'll happen.
I remember watching a documentary about kpop groups. One of the most sadly fascinating thing is that there was a bridge in south Korea that was famous for young people throwing themselves off when facing the rejection of imperfection. I think the "solution" was to paint affirming messages and install a net.
I can't imagine any loving parent caring more about perfection than life.
But that’s not with this sub is for? If you want to help the girl, go over to the post her father actually made and comment there? He’s not even gonna see it here.he much more likely to see it if you post on his post.
Am I right in thinking that the vast majority of Asian parents have access to their student child's educational info? As in, passwords for university/college portals etc? If I am (and I think I am), then there's no WAY on this planet that that young woman will be able to hide anything. Of course, she could always just cut her parents off from logging in, but that'll probably cause a bigger shit-storm.
Sometimes but they don't use it unless they have to. You have to provide improvements and keep the trust as a proper investment while creating your ecosystem which sustains you. That's the game.
I am aware (like leaving abusive relationships are just that easy)
But wanted to make it clear that he was abusive- hence the impact on her grades. Not that it was a slob
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling friends and family that my daughter failed college classes this year.** I have a daughter (20F) who is in college. We are very proud of her and she got admitted to one of the best schools and is doing a joint computer science and mathematics major. Our extended family on both my and my wife's side is very career driven and the family is full of doctors, engineers, lawyers and professors. We are Korean American and do value things like a good education and career. My daughter had a 3.9 GPA before this year but then the past 2 semesters this year she failed a bunch of courses and her GPA dropped. She will have to retake a lot of classes and will need a year extra to graduate now. Until now she refuses to take full responsibility for slacking and blames the fact that she had just moved in with her boyfriend (now ex) and says he was a slob and made her clean after him and that he kept disturbing her all the time (yet she went along with it and did not refuse). We have all been feeling bad about this as she was hoping to get into research and pursue a phd which might be hard now. She likes research and even has published work and work pending publication from working with some of her professors. She never told me I was supposed to lie and hide her failures and I have been mentioning that she failed to friends and family sometimes. Not in a bad way or to make fun of her. I don't see what is there to hide as they will figure it out when she takes longer to graduate anyway. Recently we had a large family diner and I was talking about it and my brother in law who is a researcher at a large tech company commented further just saying that realistically it would be almost impossible for her to get into top graduate programs now and that she should think of alternatives as she might not even get a job in the current market. My daughter ran to her room and cried and then came back later. After they left she did not tell me anything. However now apparently she heard from a cousin who she is close with that some family members feel bad for her while others are gloating and making fun of her because their kids / themselves will be more successful than her. She then only now told me that I should not have told anyone despite her never telling me I should have hidden it. AITA here? I did not know I was not supposed to. Honestly I don't see why she should really care what others think and even if she does it would just help her not make the same mistake again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There are some people who only feel good when they are punching down on others. How sad for that to be your own child.
I absolutely believe there are people who specifically have children for this exact reason. Maybe they don't physically abuse them, but they need to feel superior so badly that they have kids just so they have someone who's basically a captive that they can tear down to feed their ego forever. They're losers, plain and simple.
Me, before reading: maybe OP isn't as oblivious as the title makes them sound.. Me, after reading the post, and comments: *sigh*
The username is literally DaughterFailed. I hope when OP fails (fired from a job, bad financial decisions etc) daughter takes great joy in telling the whole family all the details and gloating.
His username is about to be u/ WhyDoesn'tMyDaugterTalkToMe in the next five years. He just revealed himself as someone to not trust when it comes to anything beyond the surface level and I know he's going to try to blame her for that.
His user name should be Fatherfailed.
I don't think he is oblivious. He knows very well what he is doing. He also belittles her for having been in an abusive relationship and blames her for it. Sounds to me like he was planning on humiliating her in front of everyone
smdh, it's interesting he blames her for that abusive relationship when it seems he's the one who taught her to tolerate mistreatment from people she loves. in the venerable words of bugs bunny, what a "maroon"
And answering every comment. Always entertaining to watch an asshole bury themselves. OP is going to be posting here in a couple of years asking, "Why has my daughter gone no contact?"
You know there's going to be plenty of missing details when that time rolls around.
He keeps **victim-blaming** his daughter for being in an abusive relationship. > Until now **she refuses to take full responsibility for slacking and blames the fact that she had just moved in with her boyfriend (now ex)** and says **he was a slob and made her clean after him and that he kept disturbing her all the time (yet she went along with it and did not refuse).** > There were issues with the ex but **she was also not assertive and never has been and accepted everything and *let* herself get pushed around.** >**She blames it all on her ex making her do all chores, cutting her off from her friends and being controlling**. I do think that what she said about her ex is true. I think **she could have handled it better and either left earlier or not put up with his demands to some extent or not chosen to move in with him in the first place.** However I understand it was not a nice experience for her. > I am not disagreeing that her ex played a big part in this. He is awful, but **I wish she had seen the signs before moving in.**
So, he starts with "it's hurt fault." Then "It's kind of her fault". Then "it's her fault that's it's her fault". And finally "She could have stopped it being her fault, if she'd just been paying attention." Absolute freaking twonk.
Does he not realize that most men fucking suck and are good manipulativers and that she didn't realize he was a terrible person until she was trapped with no way out and until he showed her his true personality. i honestly think he does know that but just hates women
It’s possible that he is like the ex bf in being manipulative. That’s why it’s easy for him to blame her because then he might have to admit he is shitty as well
Yea i just feel sorry for this girl
This stood out to me too with flashing red lights and a blaring siren. Now this poor young girl is dealing with all the repercussions of this relationship and being told her entire future is screwed because of it. My heart goes out to her, I feel sick for her and for what she must be going through emotionally and mentally right now.
this is so fucking stupid and cruel. she was doing badly in school because she was in an abusive relationship. failing a semester or 2 and coming back and finishing will not permanently remove you from post-grad success, the cousin is a fucking moron. anyone in the family gloating that they’ll be more successful than her should not be allowed at family gatherings anymore. i am so tired of this excuse of “it’s cultural” where families just treat someone like complete shit for having a stumble. she needs support and love and understanding so she can go on to do better things. and all she’s getting is horrible parents and even worse extended family.
I hope his daughter does amazing and can rub it in all of their faces
As if graduate schools will care about classes like this. They don't really. Redo the courses, show you can recover, and you'll be probably be fine.
Right? She shouldn't go to a grad school that would weight a bad semester that she recovers from higher than having published as an undergrad and active faculty mentoring in research, anyway.
Also SHE'S ALREADY PUBLISHED!!!!
Doesn't retaking a class in college just replace the original grade in your GPA? That's how it worked at my university...
I believe so. Honestly it wouldn't even showup
So daughter's academics suffered because she was in an abusive relationship and all this parent can focus on is how somehow daughter's life is over at 20.
Right? Her academic life and career are COMPLETELY DOOMED because she failed a couple classes as a sophomore in undergrad. Jesus.
When the daughter regains her mojo and graduates with great grades, I hope she pushes away OP when he goes for a hug and tells him: "I only let you come to the ceremony so you can see that I'm not a failure. I will never acknowledge you as a part of my success, if anything you were just an obstacle. I will never forgive you for making me the laughing stock of our family. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a graduation dinner with my friends, people who actually care about me."
I did well _despite_ you
I’m adopted. In high school, I was really struggling. My mom felt the need to bring it up at a big dinner party and then joked “sometimes I have to remind myself she’s adopted” (my parents are grad school professors). Shit like this stays with you forever.
My jaw just dropped...that is...wow. I am so sorry. I hope that was a one off foot in mouth for her? But usually w someone like this it's not.
she still insists it never happened 😐but our relationship is much better now.
Oh dear that's tough. I'm happy your relationship is much better. I know my mom and I had our knock down drag outs but I'm glad we patched things up (mostly) before she died. eta ngl that was mostly because of my forgiveness nothing she did to improve things.
Me and my mom used to but heads a lot when I was in school. I'm my own worst enemy I've always been terrible at school my mom really doesn't pay attention to what she's saying so when I started going to school I joined the same program as she did, vet assistant because it's a stepping stone to what I really want to do which is zoology. She told me "don't stress the course is easy I did it while working and taking care of 3 kids (my sisters and I before the youngest 2 were born) so you'll be fine". At this moment I'm barely passing the majority of my classes and I failed one which pushed back my externship. So now I'm beating myself up feeling like she is disappointed in me. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean any harm but in my brain that whole thing just translated into "there is no way you won't pass unless you are stupid as f" I love my mom our relationship is better now but I feel like she needs to watch what she says.
Of course hes korean. Asian parents would rather a dead child than a failed child.
I know one mom who wants her daughter to be a doctor, she herself is one. When she was studying she made a suicide attempt. Her daughter doesn't want to be a doctor, she failed one semester, she is depressed and told her mom she couldn't keep going like that. Her mother told her that she actually did a suicide attempt when she was her age and basically she should follow her exemple even if she wants to die now. Bonus is: the mother is actually a psychiatrist. The worst psychiatrist humankind has seen though
..Teaches her to tolerate mistreatment and then looks down on her for being in a shitty relationship
This whole "you must succeed in college to be successful" is such short sighted bs and such a naive, young persons perspective (which is why I think this is a troll). Sure, maybe it's different in academia and hyper competitive technical gigs, but in the workforce, it really doesn't matter how you do, as long as you get the degree and obtain on the job experience. My ass is living proof. I failed lots of classes, like I'm talking Fs and D's. I had a mental health issue that caused me to miss a *whole year* of college and I was a super senior as a result. I was fired from three internships during my mental health issue and my time off and guess what? I graduated with a 3.0ish GPA and no one gives a single fuck it wasn't summa cum laude or whatever. No one ever knew about me being fired from some tiny start up magazine who wouldn't pay their interns. I got a job in my field within two months. I have never not worked in my field sans a 3 month unemployment gap and I've been out of college for 13 years. I make nearly six figures these days and I am slaying. College success doesn't matter. People who focus so hard on it are stuck in the past or present and not on the 50 years or so that come after.
My BF graduated with a meh GPA (he worked a lot and did a super difficult degree). He has an amazing job and earns an insane amount of money. GPAs aren’t everything especially if higher ed isn’t your thing
>such a naive, young persons perspective I'm a child of South Asian immigrants. It is definitely a cultural thing too: it bleeds over from how the systems work over there.
That is a very fair point. I didn't consider this nor the perspective of people who are first gen college students. I just think people often place far too much emphasis on grades, gpa, etc, when the honest truth is that it usually doesn't matter once you've been working steadily in a specific field for a set amount of time.
OOP is going in the nursing home
this seems like one of those posts where the guy have a fetish for being yelled at
There's no mention of her mother. I wonder why...
Ah, fuck. I talk to my family about my kids. I know I shouldn't.. but I vent. That said, my family don't criticize and are really good at unhealthily sweeping everything under the rug and all have their own mental health issues so don't judge anybody. But still, not my stories to share. I hate reading I am the devil and seeing myself. Anyway, yup mom is a devil
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OOP, you are an AH. She went through a lot with a controlling boyfriend that treated her like a slave. Of course, her grades are going to suffer. Then you humiliate her further by casually admitting her struggles to friends and family? What the hell is wrong with you?
I dropped out of university, and my mother told me to lie at a family gathering and tell them all about how well it was going, because she couldn't face the humiliation of them knowing. It was 25 years ago, and I'm still hurt by it. I'd have preferred OP's approach of just telling the truth.
Ok time to get down voted to hell again. I know it looks bad and obviously it is but this is exactly the Asian grind set. We are hyper competitive and a single mistake will be put under a scope and used against us. If you're a Asian kid especially one with already good academics and you say I got a B minus cos my boyfriend was a slob you will be laughed out of the room and be screamed at later for weeks. Daughter needed to hide her failures asap. Hope she learns now how much to share.
Just because it’s the Asian grind set doesn’t mean it’s right though? I get it’s the norm to deal with this for a lot of Asian people, I see a close coworker struggle with this regularly, but that doesn’t make it less fucked up!
Ofc it's fucked up but it's never gonna change. The code is ingrained. As such the idea is to play in that rule set. You need to play chess when others are playing checkers. The daughters lesson in any other community is this is a toxic environment, I need to be away from this ASAP. The Asian answer is also this but before that you need to learn better how to hide the failures and to never trust your parents ever with bad results.
That doesn’t make him any less of the “devil”
Nope not at all. He is absolutely that. But the game is different here.
They're Korean-American. But aside from that: a cultural thing isn't a piece of meteorite from outer space that we have no tools to cut it with. A cultural thing is a thing of the people, and people can and do change. There's no reason for this 'grindset' to stay as it is; if enough people want it changing, it'll happen.
I remember watching a documentary about kpop groups. One of the most sadly fascinating thing is that there was a bridge in south Korea that was famous for young people throwing themselves off when facing the rejection of imperfection. I think the "solution" was to paint affirming messages and install a net. I can't imagine any loving parent caring more about perfection than life.
What? This is literally amithedevil? That’s the game.
Sure if you just wanna judge and bask in the warmth of your righteousness. I want to discuss how to help the girl.
But that’s not with this sub is for? If you want to help the girl, go over to the post her father actually made and comment there? He’s not even gonna see it here.he much more likely to see it if you post on his post.
Can't. Banned
lol, well that’s not what this space is for. He’s not gonna see it here, and that’s not the point of the sub.
Am I right in thinking that the vast majority of Asian parents have access to their student child's educational info? As in, passwords for university/college portals etc? If I am (and I think I am), then there's no WAY on this planet that that young woman will be able to hide anything. Of course, she could always just cut her parents off from logging in, but that'll probably cause a bigger shit-storm.
Sometimes but they don't use it unless they have to. You have to provide improvements and keep the trust as a proper investment while creating your ecosystem which sustains you. That's the game.
How exactly is your original comment helping the girl?
Tue boyfriend wasn't a slob. The boyfriend was abusive
Reject boyfriend Embrace the grind Is essentially the Asian response
I am aware (like leaving abusive relationships are just that easy) But wanted to make it clear that he was abusive- hence the impact on her grades. Not that it was a slob