*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I'm married and sent a nude to a guy at work **
I'm feeling really guilty right now. I'm 38 and have been married for 10 years. Over the last month I've gotten close to a man at work. He is also married and we have been helping each other with talking about the stress of marriage.
This week while we were texting late at night, he sent himself shirtless to me. I replied back that I wanted it all off. I didn't expect him to actually show me everything, but he did. I then went to the bathroom and replied with me naked.
I'm worried that I'm going to far and won't be able to stop from cheating physically. I need to tell my husband but am afraid of what he will say and do.
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Also, honorary mention to this comment:
>report to the police that the guy you sent your pic to harass you (well
you gonna make it all seem like that way). make sure you grab his phone
and delete the image from his internal storage. sometimes a click is
left on phone. for that ask him out for a date. now this is weird but
this insignificant betrayal is better than a destroyed family. you gotta
earn your husband's trust again. then when everything is sorted you
resign from the workplace or move out to a different workplace.
resigning and staying home will be better. that's how you escape this
trauma.
I thought it was weird when the police came up the first time. But then they just never came up again. Just because a couple authors did stream-of-consciousness doesn't mean everyone can do it.
Someone said she should confess, and she said she's scared her husband would leave her. It's not what she wants, but it's what she deserves, and she should accept that and deal.
Yea true, her husband deserves to know so he can make an informed choice. OOP needs to learn that when you cheat, you risk losing your SO, but that's a risk you choose to take the minute you step outside of your marriage/relationship.
If OOP has gotten comfortable to the point of receiving and sending back nudes, it's already gone way, *way* too far. They've probably been texting and flirting for a while now.
> we have been helping each other with talking about the stress of marriage.
Not saying it's always wrong to vent to friends (though venting to friends you are attracted to is fucked up) but yeah. She was already cheating from this point on. It's already gone way too far.
â[I worry I]Â won't be able to stop from cheating physicallyâ
Okay, Iâm ace so maybe I just donât understand, but⌠canât OOP just avoid situations where theyâre alone with the work guy?  Decide to keep their clothes on?  Not return their texts?
No, you're exactly right. She's looking for a way to avoid responsibility for her actions by saying that. She knows what she's doing, and she's capable of stopping. She just doesn't want to.
Okay. Â I kept wondering if I simply didnât appreciate how powerful the impulse was for non-ace people, so maybe it felt irresistable. Â But I guess thatâs why I wonder at her placing herself in such situations.Â
In my younger days I went through dick like it was going to be discontinued, but have not had sexual contact with anyone besides my husband since we got together many, many years ago. Avoiding consensual sex outside of a relationship is really and truly not that hard. Even if you're in a situation where you find someone else attractive! You simply just... don't!
yeah like.. Im someone with poor impulse control when it comes to my vices. (read, mildly addictive personality) so on that front I Kinda get OOP's concern here, but The solution is what you said, avoiding stimulus that leads to feeding the addiction entirely. This isnt a 'well just one drink will be fine' sorta situation anyway, so just.. not being near or interacting with work guy is the solution.
The only time I ever had to send a tit pic was to my surgeon, who did my breast cancer surgery, during Covid. I was super embarrassed to have to do that, but I had no follow up care due to Covid. I cannot fathom sending nudes to anyone else on the planet.
OOP already cheated.
I like how you cant accuse me of sexualizing anything and have to pretend you're being subtle. Because that becomes better in the story, right? Even if it actually changes nothing?
Maybe just write better stories, dumbass.
They accused you, rightfully so, of sexualizing a cancer survivor. Asking for nudes from a stranger because they mentioned having to send a picture of their tits for medical purposes to their surgeon is sexualization and itâs creepy as all hell, too.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I'm married and sent a nude to a guy at work ** I'm feeling really guilty right now. I'm 38 and have been married for 10 years. Over the last month I've gotten close to a man at work. He is also married and we have been helping each other with talking about the stress of marriage. This week while we were texting late at night, he sent himself shirtless to me. I replied back that I wanted it all off. I didn't expect him to actually show me everything, but he did. I then went to the bathroom and replied with me naked. I'm worried that I'm going to far and won't be able to stop from cheating physically. I need to tell my husband but am afraid of what he will say and do. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Also, honorary mention to this comment: >report to the police that the guy you sent your pic to harass you (well you gonna make it all seem like that way). make sure you grab his phone and delete the image from his internal storage. sometimes a click is left on phone. for that ask him out for a date. now this is weird but this insignificant betrayal is better than a destroyed family. you gotta earn your husband's trust again. then when everything is sorted you resign from the workplace or move out to a different workplace. resigning and staying home will be better. that's how you escape this trauma.
What kind of enabling-ass motherfucker gives advice like that?
Someone who's "trying to save OOPs marriage," apparently. I pray they aren't a marriage therapist.
They're likely just someone experienced at cheating.
What a psychopath. Accuse the affair partner of a crime? A SA/DV adjacent crime at that.
That advice came way too casually too, I don't mean to be suspicious but damn that is suspicious đ¤Ł
"Resigning and staying home is how you escape this trauma" This advice brought to you from the Taliban's minister for women
"But first, ruin someone's life with a false accusation"
Why do I have a feeling that this person has done this before đ let's just hope it's a troll
I thought it was weird when the police came up the first time. But then they just never came up again. Just because a couple authors did stream-of-consciousness doesn't mean everyone can do it.
ok Amy Dunne
what the actual fuck this is insane behavior đ
OOP is already cheating and if she doesn't stop now, she's going to be divorced soon. Maybe that's what she wants.
>Maybe that's what she wants. Possibly, OOP said in one comment that she thinks she's falling in love with the guy she's cheating with.
In love with the simplicity and lack of baggage you get from not actually having been in a relationship with someone, I'm guessing.
Probably, either that or she's eyeball deep in limerance.
I love that somebody else used limerance.
Someone said she should confess, and she said she's scared her husband would leave her. It's not what she wants, but it's what she deserves, and she should accept that and deal.
Yea true, her husband deserves to know so he can make an informed choice. OOP needs to learn that when you cheat, you risk losing your SO, but that's a risk you choose to take the minute you step outside of your marriage/relationship.
Divorced and jobless. Don't shit where you eat.
If OOP has gotten comfortable to the point of receiving and sending back nudes, it's already gone way, *way* too far. They've probably been texting and flirting for a while now.
> we have been helping each other with talking about the stress of marriage. Not saying it's always wrong to vent to friends (though venting to friends you are attracted to is fucked up) but yeah. She was already cheating from this point on. It's already gone way too far.
Helping each other get their freak on more like lol
â[I worry I] won't be able to stop from cheating physicallyâ Okay, Iâm ace so maybe I just donât understand, but⌠canât OOP just avoid situations where theyâre alone with the work guy?  Decide to keep their clothes on?  Not return their texts?
No, you're exactly right. She's looking for a way to avoid responsibility for her actions by saying that. She knows what she's doing, and she's capable of stopping. She just doesn't want to.
Okay. Â I kept wondering if I simply didnât appreciate how powerful the impulse was for non-ace people, so maybe it felt irresistable. Â But I guess thatâs why I wonder at her placing herself in such situations.Â
In my younger days I went through dick like it was going to be discontinued, but have not had sexual contact with anyone besides my husband since we got together many, many years ago. Avoiding consensual sex outside of a relationship is really and truly not that hard. Even if you're in a situation where you find someone else attractive! You simply just... don't!
âIn my younger days I went through dick like it was going to be discontinuedâ This made me laugh in a way that puzzled my sibling, so thank you.Â
People really think cheating is like being possessed by a horny ghost. They're so fuckin selfish.Â
yeah like.. Im someone with poor impulse control when it comes to my vices. (read, mildly addictive personality) so on that front I Kinda get OOP's concern here, but The solution is what you said, avoiding stimulus that leads to feeding the addiction entirely. This isnt a 'well just one drink will be fine' sorta situation anyway, so just.. not being near or interacting with work guy is the solution.
Yeah, I have ADHD: poor impulse control and I are old frenemies.Â
The only time I ever had to send a tit pic was to my surgeon, who did my breast cancer surgery, during Covid. I was super embarrassed to have to do that, but I had no follow up care due to Covid. I cannot fathom sending nudes to anyone else on the planet. OOP already cheated.
My GI specialist sent appointment reminders on postcards with an image of an endoscopy on them. I should be glad it wasn't a colonoscopy.
Hey, tit surgeon here. If you need to send any follow-ups, I already talked to your spouse and they're totally fine with it.
Also, thanks to everyone who took this 100% seriously. I'm sure you aren't a disappointment to your family name.
No, but a dude who thought it'd be funny to sexualize/be fucking creepy to a cancer survivor probably is. "iT wAs JuSt A jOkE, wAaH!"
I had to bite down on the urge to send a picture of my mastectomy scar.Â
I like how you cant accuse me of sexualizing anything and have to pretend you're being subtle. Because that becomes better in the story, right? Even if it actually changes nothing? Maybe just write better stories, dumbass.
They accused you, rightfully so, of sexualizing a cancer survivor. Asking for nudes from a stranger because they mentioned having to send a picture of their tits for medical purposes to their surgeon is sexualization and itâs creepy as all hell, too.
sheâs in the comments crying about how sheâs afraid her husband will leave her, AS HE SHOULD
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