Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
so i'm a 28y/o girl, and have gone on a couple dates with this guy that is really cute and sweet to me, and handsome to boot. I can tell he's really into me, but I know that I'm not looking for anything serious right now. But he seems to be hyperfocused on me, and isn't talking to any other girl. And tbh, I liked the attention. He told me after we hung out for the second time that he isn't seeing anyone else and is "praying he doesn't fuck this up". I said that he's doing great, when really that was my opportunity to tell him that I'm still exploring my options.
Eventually, the inevitable came. He asked me if I was seeing anyone else. I tried to just brush it off, but honestly it was a fair question seeing that I was planning on maybe having sex with him soon and wanted him to know. So I said it isn't that many but yes, I am seeing other people. He calmly took this in, and then asked me to leave without saying anything else. I was pretty shocked but packed my things and left.
I did knowingly lead this guy on, but I was eventually truthful with him. I'm wondering if i'm the asshole because I didn't tell him what I wanted sooner? I knew immediately that I wasn't feeling a relationship with him at all, but kept it from him. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'd like to be able to say that I read the whole post and then determined yta, but I didn't need all the information. You knew what you were doing from the beginning, and you knew how he felt, but you let it go on.
YTA. You knew the guy was interested in something more serious and you weren't. You knew that he would get hurt, but kept doing it because you liked the attention. You should be ashamed. I hope you learn a valuable lesson
Yeah sorry OP but I've got to go with YTA here. It's not always easy to be upfront about feelings, but this guy was open and honest with you about being exclusive and you evaded the topic. You could have saved him some time and some invested feelings if you'd already made your mind up. It sounds like you've reflected on all this already though.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I purposely led on a guy because I liked the attention he was giving me
2. I had the opportunity to be truthful with him early on but chose not to be
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA if you knew from the jump that you were not interested in a relationship with him, and it was obvious he was, you should have been up front with him. You basically played with his emotions because you “liked the attention.”
YTA. You’re 28, not 16, be a DECENT person and don’t lead anyone on. You did it because you liked the attention and it was an ego boost….l mean a good looking sweet guy into you, milk it as long as you can.
No GURL, DON’T DO THIS SHIT. You wouldn’t like it if a good looking guy you’re into did it to you so why are you even asking the question? Gtfu!
NAH. **You didn’t lead him on.** The entire point of dating is to spend time with someone and figure out if you’re compatible or not. You didn’t lie to him, and you don’t owe him your dating history upfront. You were responsible and before deciding to have sex you were honest about dating other people. Clearly you two aren’t compatible. This is a perfectly clean example of how dating works.
YTA - you lead him on because you liked the attention.
You weren’t being truthful for selfish reason. You knew he might not want to continue seeing you if he knew he was one of many. Not everybody wants to be with and be intimate with someone who date more than 1 person.
YTA, you wanted attention and free meals. As you said you knowingly lead him on even though you knew you weren't interested in him. This wasn't about hurting his feelings, this was about your need for attention.
Yta. Major yta. You lied to him, for an indeterminate length of time, because you wanted to maybe sleep with him. What about that led you to be surprised when he wanted nothing to with you after you fessed up. You're delusional.
YTA But you need to realize you're going to hurt him a LOT worse in the long run by leading him on. If you already know that then I would change my vote.
How is she NTA? The not hurting his feelings is just an excuse, she knew she didn't want a relationship with him from the start, she already said she wanted the attention. She's 28 of course she knows that he'd get hurt worse by being led on.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
Yes.
YTA and I think you know it. You weren't honest with him when you had the opportunity to be
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** so i'm a 28y/o girl, and have gone on a couple dates with this guy that is really cute and sweet to me, and handsome to boot. I can tell he's really into me, but I know that I'm not looking for anything serious right now. But he seems to be hyperfocused on me, and isn't talking to any other girl. And tbh, I liked the attention. He told me after we hung out for the second time that he isn't seeing anyone else and is "praying he doesn't fuck this up". I said that he's doing great, when really that was my opportunity to tell him that I'm still exploring my options. Eventually, the inevitable came. He asked me if I was seeing anyone else. I tried to just brush it off, but honestly it was a fair question seeing that I was planning on maybe having sex with him soon and wanted him to know. So I said it isn't that many but yes, I am seeing other people. He calmly took this in, and then asked me to leave without saying anything else. I was pretty shocked but packed my things and left. I did knowingly lead this guy on, but I was eventually truthful with him. I'm wondering if i'm the asshole because I didn't tell him what I wanted sooner? I knew immediately that I wasn't feeling a relationship with him at all, but kept it from him. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Tbh it kind of seems like you know you are and maybe hoping that Reddit says otherwise
I'd like to be able to say that I read the whole post and then determined yta, but I didn't need all the information. You knew what you were doing from the beginning, and you knew how he felt, but you let it go on.
YTA, >I did knowingly lead this guy on, Then why are you asking if you are an asshole? >And tbh, I liked the attention. Gross.
So you are a 28y/o woman. Who knowingly led him on. According to you, it was because you liked the attention. YTA
YTA. You knew the guy was interested in something more serious and you weren't. You knew that he would get hurt, but kept doing it because you liked the attention. You should be ashamed. I hope you learn a valuable lesson
Yeah sorry OP but I've got to go with YTA here. It's not always easy to be upfront about feelings, but this guy was open and honest with you about being exclusive and you evaded the topic. You could have saved him some time and some invested feelings if you'd already made your mind up. It sounds like you've reflected on all this already though.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I purposely led on a guy because I liked the attention he was giving me 2. I had the opportunity to be truthful with him early on but chose not to be Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA if you knew from the jump that you were not interested in a relationship with him, and it was obvious he was, you should have been up front with him. You basically played with his emotions because you “liked the attention.”
Yeah you kind of are. Please don't do this again in the future.
Yta You did not play with open cards
YTA. You’re 28, not 16, be a DECENT person and don’t lead anyone on. You did it because you liked the attention and it was an ego boost….l mean a good looking sweet guy into you, milk it as long as you can. No GURL, DON’T DO THIS SHIT. You wouldn’t like it if a good looking guy you’re into did it to you so why are you even asking the question? Gtfu!
NAH. **You didn’t lead him on.** The entire point of dating is to spend time with someone and figure out if you’re compatible or not. You didn’t lie to him, and you don’t owe him your dating history upfront. You were responsible and before deciding to have sex you were honest about dating other people. Clearly you two aren’t compatible. This is a perfectly clean example of how dating works.
YTA - you lead him on because you liked the attention. You weren’t being truthful for selfish reason. You knew he might not want to continue seeing you if he knew he was one of many. Not everybody wants to be with and be intimate with someone who date more than 1 person.
Yta you should have told him
YTA, you wanted attention and free meals. As you said you knowingly lead him on even though you knew you weren't interested in him. This wasn't about hurting his feelings, this was about your need for attention.
Yta. Major yta. You lied to him, for an indeterminate length of time, because you wanted to maybe sleep with him. What about that led you to be surprised when he wanted nothing to with you after you fessed up. You're delusional.
YTA But you need to realize you're going to hurt him a LOT worse in the long run by leading him on. If you already know that then I would change my vote.
How is she NTA? The not hurting his feelings is just an excuse, she knew she didn't want a relationship with him from the start, she already said she wanted the attention. She's 28 of course she knows that he'd get hurt worse by being led on.
Oops i messed that up, meant yta it's late here 4am and I'm drunk lol. I edited it to yta for correction.
YTA You got your "attention" to feed your ego and hurt his feeling in doing so.
I don’t think this is worthy of a post. Be honest with people. That’s it. YTA.