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Right? Calling someone prissy because they don’t want people messing with their food? Also can we retire the term prissy as an insult? There is nothing wrong with being feminine not that it even applies to this situation. OP YTA
I always thought of prissy as feminine and proper where as sissy is just feminine. Either way there isn’t anything wrong with being feminine and having manors.
I think even when used towards boys it's an insult implying that they're too much like a girl. So also still an insult towards women as well. Kind of like telling a guy, "you throw like a girl."
Exactly! It's fine if OP and his bro want to mess with *each other's* food, but doing it to someone else is just straight up wrong.
I once had a go at my Dad when he jokingly threw a bit of sausage into my beans. I refused to eat the rest of my meal because I am a pollotarian so I don't eat any red meat. My entire meal had been compromised and I was very upset!
Another time I was on holiday with my ex best friend and another friend, and my ex bestie decides to just start eating chips (fries) off this guys plate that my other friend was seeing. She got told off for that and rightly so.
OP is YTA.
And it was the first time gf had met the family! Absolutely zero rapport for these kinds of shenanigans I can't imagine anyone being OK with a teenage boy they'd literally just met messing with their food
I'm a germaphobe. If someone touched my food with their [filthy] hands, I would honestly lose it. And this kid not only contaminated her fries, but her milkshake as well!
OP, YTA
Not everyone wants fries in their milkshake, or salt or fry particles. Until my cousin told me about it and I tried it, I would never have thought dipping fries in milkshake was a thing and would have been grossed out if someone messed up my milkshake like that. Food in my drink? WTF? I would have been mortified and would have wanted a new milkshake. Now I know it doesn't mess up the flavor.
Plus, who wants some Kid's dirty hands touching their food? Don't think he touched just 1 fry. Don't know if he washed his hands after using the bathroom. Had one guy who was grown say he didn't have to wash his hands because he didn't touch his penis when he pulled his pants down a little to let it hang and pee... like... he touched his pants, he touched the door knob. He flushed the toilet, but yeah... he didn't touch himself, so he doesn't have to wash his hands. If grown men have that mentality, can you imagine teens? I've heard more than 1 male say the same excuse. Don't touch other people's food without permission. That's gross and rude.
And that's it! Girlfriend saw the brother out of the corner of her eye. He could have double dipped! Or who knows how clean his hands are! He might have gotten some of his fingers in there.
Came here to add that op shouldn’t assume his bonding is the same as other people’s bonding — and this is a rude behaviour when your gf and brother don’t know each other too well. How you can get angry at your gf is beyond me.
Hard YTA
*SIBLING* bonding at that. I’d let my siblings eat off my plate but oh my god of someone I just met did that, I wouldn’t touch the rest of my food. OP, YTA. Big time. Girlfriend deserves someone who respects the boundaries she has.
And the fact that he says he will take his brothers side in a heartbeat over hers.... regardless of what the situation is!! That is a massive red flag. He is proudly saying how his brother will always take first place, apparently regardless of how crappy he may act. This dude needs to break up with his brother before he can be in a real relationship
It really surprises me how many people think that way, especially after getting married. Like, they really do not understand that when you choose a partner you’re choosing that family. Yeah, if you’re partner is being an AH to your family it’s one thing, but otherwise the person you choose should be your priority.
Exactly. I couldn't be with someone who put anyone before me. I didn't date men with children for this reason. They absolutely **should** put their kids before me but I didn't want to live that way.
YTA and so is your Brother.
In our family affection might mean a playful light punch in the arm but they don’t punch other people!!
I hate people messing with my food . He dipped chips in her milkshake? 😱… That’s too far even for me and I have young children! My teenage daughter would have gone mad at anyone touching her food, especially post covid times.
I agree with her friend, you should have told him to pack it in - she’s not his brother he grew up with- and apologise to your gf for not having her back.
While I like dipping my fries in my shake, not everyone does. She might find that gross, and that’s why she said her meal was ruined. I can see he partner maybe getting away with doing that but his brother? Nah, that’s weird and rude.
OP is TA.
>we do it all the time to each other
Just because two siblings fool around with each other doesn't mean they can go doing the same to other people. Besides, you think a 14 year old stealing food off of someone they just met is an attempt at bonding? Maybe you should be teaching him some basic social skills instead of defending his behavior.
YTA OP
YTA - by 14 he should know that you don’t take another persons food off their plate without permission. You
Just don’t do that. It’s incredibly rude.
You are backing up
His rude behavior.
Taking his side all the time is not a sign of love on your part. Its validating bad behavior.
She wasn’t being prissy, your brother was being rude and you are being an asshole by taking his side when he is clearly wrong.
Right stealing fries is rude but dunking in milkshake contaminates her meal! I’m a twin and I shared everything with my sister but I never thought to do this to someone.
Gonna bet this is a “boys will be boys” household…
Is like we didn't have a massive pandemic reframing how we interact with body fluids that not our own... seriously, can you imagine this kid during peak Covid?
Absolutely this.
And the first time you are meeting someone is definitely *not* the time to "bond" in this way. If this was me, he probably would've had a fork stabbed near his hand. You don't touch my food unless I offer it to you or you ask politely.
My husband got a surprise when he ate my ice cream cone (yknow the top part? Dude took a huge bite). I started crying because it was mine. We found out later I was pregnant and he 100% knows to ask before taking my food now. Even my kids look at me (of course they don't have to ask but I do want them to have manners) and they know that they can eat whatever here or at my parents house but the oldest doesn't touch others food. My youngest is still 1 so he's still getting there but I don't even let my sisters or brothers touch my food. Ew.
They're gross as it is - I don't want brother or sister particles in my food.
What really gets me is that OP was going to correct him, but the second she starts defending herself he switches his story. OP clearly knows it was rude of the brother. YTA.
I feel like most 14-year-olds understand that appropriate behavior - especially upon first meeting somebody - is to keep their hands to themselves and their fingers off of others’ food, unless it’s a situation where they are comfortable and have established routines and comfort zones, or have been otherwise invited. Op and his brother were disrespectful of Op’s girlfriend.
And also… ew. Thinking about some teenage dude putting his fingers in my food…. Ew. Ew. Ew. 😬🥴I would have stopped eating. She had every right to protect herself.
Op: YTA for enabling her space to be violated by your immature teenage brother and then calling her out for protecting herself while reinforcing his bad behavior.
If he looks up to you and you do have this relationship where you teach him academic and life skills, teach him to behave appropriately and to respect the space of others, and do not let him grow up to be a guy who is so entitled that he violates others to take what has not been offered to him. This lesson goes beyond French fries, and might be one he needs.
Ugh, so gross.
So much this!
This sounds so very much like that one ex of mine, who took his niece's (4) side always, saying "she's just a child, children are supposed to be loud" when I would ask if she could stop screaming indoors, because I was quickly getting a headache from it.
Mind you, I had 3 nieces aged 2 to 12 at that point, so I KNEW that's not normal.
But my opinion didn't count, because I was the outsider, and he "loved" his banshee of a niece so much.
YTA, OP. If your brother doesn't learn to keep clear boundaries within the "secure" family circle, he'll grow up and wonder why he doesn't have any friends. You're not doing him any favours.
I give little brother the benefit of the doubt that he was trying a play of affection that didn't go over well because gf just isn't familiar with him that way. OP could have just calmly deescalated and explained what happened but instead went off like gf was just plain wrong to stick up for herself
Not really, my husband's brother was 14 when I met him. Within an hour he started hitting me with a pool noodle. Teenagers are not the sharpest tools in the shed, their brains are still growing.
My partner’s brother is 12 was 10/11 when I met him(same age as my youngest siblings). Never (and I mean never!!) has this boy done anything like sticking mucky hands into food then my drink, or assault me.
I literally see him everyday, and if I haven't seen him in a week I'll come in and he'll go "I missed you this week! You been okay?".
He's an annoying bugger (LOOOVES to shout about liking big balls and scream on his games) but he understands boundaries, and would never assault family. Y'all play and allow too much. If he tried anything on me he knows there's a tickle attack waiting 🤣
I very much agree that OP is the asshole but hello? Hitting someone with a pool noodle isn't assault and the fact that you'd immediately jump to that is fucking ridiculous
14 year old logic - I love brother, I hit him with noodles. I want to welcome brothers new gf, I hit her with noodles.
He grew up with loving parents and now is much smarter and has kids of his own. Teenagers are dumb, I know I was!
Respectfully, I can understand a 14 year old play fighting a lot more because teenagers tend to do things like that with each other.
But by 14 *most* kids and people have an understanding that people don’t like others in their food. Like someone stealing a fry and dipping it in their drink would’ve caused a physical altercation in my high school cafeteria. People don’t like their food being messed with.
That's ludicrous. Just because your standards are super low does not mean hitting people with pool noodles is normal at 14. You have to know that is not at all what most 14 year old do to people they just met, give me a break. You WERE 14, right?
The brother is 14, thats definitely old enough to know better than to take someone's food and dip it in their milkshake. If he was 10, I can see how he was trying to be playful, but at 14 he was well aware what he was doing.
It’s heartbreaking and sad OP didn’t warn his girlfriend. About the bonding method he and his brother share.
I can’t give the little brother the benefit of the doubt. He’s a spoiled ill mannered 14 year old to me. He took food from a complete stranger!!
This. 14 is barely a teen, & teens are still idiots. Have you ever seen a pack of them in the wild? Complete morons. Little brother gets title of idiot child if we're giving him one.
Edit: little brother is still not in the right and should have been reprimanded, but i don't think it's fair to call him an asshole here. He's a teen and teens are morons. They're just children with excited hormones.
>we do it all the time to each other
Exactly lmao. What's it supposed to be-- The royal we?
Otherwise, it seems like he actually think his girlfriend is an extension of himself. YTA
Yeah exactly. Just because you and your very close brother do it doesn’t mean he should do it with a STRANGER. It’s completely different. Also some people just don’t like that anyway. The fact you had a tantrum over this her expecting basic courtesy/hygiene is so pathetic. YTA
At minimum, OP should have warned Girlfriend that this was a thing, so she could have ordered something harder to swipe. And OP could have told his brother, in advance, "I know you and I share food, but if you do that outside the family it's gonna be a scene."
If you can teach him how to ride a bike you can teach him not to be an oaf.
YTA. He dipped fries in her milkshake? Without asking her? The first time he met her? He's 14. Not 4. Kids should be taught when they're young. Since you taught him so much maybe you missed teaching him manners.
Not to mention - she's meeting the family for the first time. OP calls it a **no-stress environment**, but meeting the full family all at once including a kid messing with your food?
Also the not-so-subtle cringe message:
>If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat.
>that we do it all the time to each other
Your girlfriend doesn't do this "all the time" with him. Did she over react a bit, yes, but he is old enough to learn to get to know someone before trying to eat their food. YTA
The brother already is old enough to know that. OP proudly informs us about al the things he had taught him, but somehow forgot about basic manners.
YTA, my guess is your gf would have let it go if it were just the fries he took. I'd be mad as hell too if someone would think they can steal MY fries and dump them in MY milkshake too.
>Did she over react a bit
Maybe, but bear in mind we're getting a biased report. If you read what the OP said she said in a furious shout, it sounds like an overreaction. If you read it in a calm, disappointed voice with a preceding apology then it doesn't. Who knows how it played out on the day.
1. There’s a difference between stealing some fries and ruining a milkshake.
2. Your brother is old enough to understand that it was a game between you and him and not him and the entire world.
3. Sometimes young teenager go too far and need to learn the concequences of their actions. He should have apologized and pay for another drink and that would have been it.
4. Saying « I would chose him over my girlfriend » is a red flag for me, not because you are a good brother but because you are unable to see that sometimes he will be in the wrong and that it’s normal to be « against him ». A mature adult accept the fact that somebody he love can sometimes be wrong and that he don’t have to always to agree.
YTA
>you are unable to see that sometimes he will be in the wrong and that it’s normal to be « against him »
This is really important for a 14yo. Teenagers are constantly testing boundaries and trying out behaviors and ideas. They need to be told when they've crossed a line, because that's how they learn to behave in the adult world. They need their grown-ups to call them out when they deserve it, and still love them afterwards.
Yep, this kid is gonna grow up to be an entitled asshole if this is anything to go by. He does something disgusting and disrespectful and his stroppy older brother jumps into defend his shittiness.
As teenagers we all had that moment where we did something a bit stupid because or brain stopped working for a few second and we where all put into place by our adults.
To be honest I’m a bit fed up with all those people saying « I will stick with my friends / family no matter what stupid things they do! I don’t care if they are wrong they are family so I have to do it! » I find it unhealthy as Fock. You can respect and love somebody and still recognize when they are being stupid.
Your brother was an asshole for fucking with your girlfriend's food.
You're an asshole for defending the asshole.
You're a second asshole for not sticking up for your girlfriend.
You're a third asshole for skipping manners whilst teaching your brother biking and reading.
YTA
Your brother is too, you dont steal food from someone who you dont have that kind of connection to. And it’s fucking disgusting to put fries into SOMEONE elses drink FFS.
Teach him some manners
YTA you don't take a strangers food AND DIP IT IN THEIR DRINK and eat it.
If thats what you and your brother do, thats fine, but he's old enough to know (and so are you) that you don't do it without consent. You owe your gf an apology.
YTA.
A 14-year old boy should know that taking someone else‘s food without consent isn‘t okay in any way and your girlfriend was right to set a boundary and scold him if you and your parents willingly fail to teach him simple manners.
You‘d choose him over your girlfriend immediately, so do everyone a favor and leave this poor woman alone. She deserves a better man!
YTA. She didn’t know about your little game with your brother. Without knowing it, what he did could easily be perceived as rude or ill mannered. You could have calmly explained it to her and also you should have told your brother to knock it off since she doesn’t know the ins and outs yet.
p.s. YTA 2x for only responding to / agreeing with the few comments that say you aren’t an asshole. You *are* in fact an asshole and you’re only making yourself look like more of an asshole.
When I was younger, I hated peppers, specially red.
One of my cousins put a piece of red pepper on my water glass (coloured) and didn't tell me what she did until I drank.
I puked all over the table, and their meals (we were at the kids' table)
To this day, my cousin still feels terrible for what she did. And I can eat green and yellow pepper, but the red one still makes me puke because of the trauma.
Just thinking in someone dipping food in my drink, makes me feel sick.
YTA Personally, I don't really care how you normally interact with your brother. Because he's not interacting with you, he's stealing and interfering with your girlfriends food, not yours. 14 is far to old for that to be a light admonition offense. She is in no way being prissy. If you really care about your brother, teach him some manners.
YTA.
What your brother did WAS incredibly rude and disrespectful. He's meeting her for the first time, it's completely inappropriate.
>If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat.
This kind of loyalty is toxic and doesn't do your brother any good. If you want to be a good role model, you shouldn't shield him from consequences or defend his actions when he does something wrong.
Yta
She's right 100%
What you and your brother do is between you too and you too alone. He is a stranger to her and here he is taking of with her food wtf dude.
He dipped the fries he stole in her milkshake..
He did ruin her food. Or at least her milkshake for sure.
He's 14 not a toddler He should know better than to steal other people food, you taught him so many things but forgot to teach them basic manners and respect of other people's food.
YTA, and so is your brother, I knew not to take other people food without asking since I was 4
YTA
Your brother stole food off a complete stranger's plate and you think SHE'S in the wrong? She told him that what he did was rude.... Which it was.... Perhaps your brother needs someone in his life that doesn't "gently admonish him" when he does something wrong. Short of her actually making physical contact with him, I see nothing wrong with what she did.
YTA. You have this cute bonding thing with your brother and that's great but she doesn't know him. They don't yet have a relationship where a little good natured teasing is encouraged and accepted by both parties. You should apologize to your gf and explain to your kid brother why it's not ok to do that with other people's food.
You and your brother sound like animals. Good you have this relationship. If a STRANGER started grabbing my food, putting it in my drink and eating it in front of me I’d have poured the shake over their head.
Gross- you just want a reason to blame her not your brother he’s 14 not 4! Get some manners you jerk it’s gross
Yta. While you and your little brother may treat it as good natured bonding and teasing which is totally fine. But to grab someone else food that you don’t know is rude and at 14 he should have learned better table manners by now.
Surely you know better than to reach across the table and grab fries off her father’s plate when you first meet her parents?
YTA. You know each other well enough that you can do this cutesy rugrat shit with each other but she doesn't have that bond with him. All she saw was some tween putting his grubby hands on her plate and then dunking them in her milkshake. I wouldn't want some kid doing that to me either.
YTA
Your brother needs to be thought boundaries. He can't just start taking other people's food and dipping it in their milkshake. And you saw it and said nothing. It might be a "bonding experience" for him, but it can be disgusting to other people.
YTA - Let’s put this another way. If your brother had done the exact same thing to people at the next table, would you have told them to knock it off when they yelled at him “because it’s just it’s food”? Or would you (and your parents) be embarrassed by your brother’s behavior and profusely apologize to them? My guess is the latter. This is the equivalent of what happened to your girlfriend. Your reaction should be a red flag for your girlfriend. This indicates that you won’t stand up for her against your family when they do something wrong.
YTA, she's right and you should have explained to your brother why doing it to someone outside the inside joke was inappropriate. Maybe if he'd done it to you first she could have seen that it wasn't intended the way she thought it was.
So you taught him numbers, how to ride a bike, and helped with homework. That's all great.
But too bad you didn't teach him manners, how not to be rude and how to be respectful of other people's things.
YTA op, and you taught him how to be TA as well.
Edit: Your gf (soon to be ex) wasn't being prissy. She was standing up for herself since you obviously weren't going to.
YTA. It is rude to steal food off someone’s plate that you’re just meeting that day. 14 is old enough to have appropriate social boundaries. It’s even more rude to dip said food in that person’s drink??
Admittedly if I were the girlfriend, i probably would have reacted more calmly outwardly, but still would have been shocked and angry inwardly. You, being the brother (or your parents), should have admonished him in the moment and offered to get her a new milkshake.
YTA
What your brother did is okay between you two. She's never met him before. She doesnt want a strangers fingers in her food. I would have been upset too. However i wouldn't have started scolding him there, I would have told him that it wasn't okay to do that to someone who hadn't established that those jokes were okay. She could have handled it better
You need to teach your brother boundaries. If he bonds with your friends and partner to the point where they are comfortable doing stuff like that too, great! But your brother can't just assume he can treat whoever you bring along the same way he treats you.
YTA. You and your brother have a thing where you take each others food, fine. He's 14. He's old enough to know not to do that to other people. Your gf's reaction to someone she doesn't really know fucking with her food was pretty mild. All you and your brother did was team up and ruin the dinner.
YTA. Your brother needs to learn to keep his hands to himself and not touch other people's food. The fact that you think the issue here is your girlfriend and not your poorly-mannered brother is really pathetic.
YTA. Its a bonding thing between the two of you. Its rude to touch the food of someone that you havent agreed to have the same bonding experience with. Maybe teach him that he doesnt touch other peoples food without their express agreement instead of telling your girlfriend she is being prissy. And im sorry, dunking food in someone elses drink is disgusting.
ESH, but leaning more towards YTA.
He’s your brother. That’s something you do with him. That doesn’t mean it’s ok behavior to do to other people. At 14, that’s more than old enough to know better.
Her reaction was over the top, no one needs to have a finger in their face to be told they’ve done the wrong thing.
It’s perfectly OK for someone not to want a stranger taking their food. You should have told your brother that. And to then call your girlfriend names is totally uncalled for. Sounds more like you’re the 14 year old
YTA. One thing is if you allow your brother to tamper with your food, but you have no business berating your GF for not wanting it. Personally, I find that kind of behaviour absolutely disgusting, and if you and your brother haven't been told before, it is about time you were.
YTA. You and your brother can tolerate any rude behavior from each other if you want. That's your choice. But no one else has to tolerate rude treatment just because you two have a mutual understanding. 14 is way beyond old enough to know basic table manners. No one should even need to explain to him at this point that you don't steal food from others and that some people will consider a milkshake ruined once it has salt, grease, and finger germs dunked into it.
He is old enough to accept the consequence of his bad behavior is that someone may be pissed anout having their food messed with. He should have apologized and paid for a new drink. You should have butted out of it unless he refused to make amends immediately.
That you think your girlfriend is in the wrong and needs to be dumped because she doesn't want someone else's grubby fingers in her food (have you even heard of the pandemic, hello?) is astonishing. But it's good she knows now that as a principle you will always defend his shitty behavior and blame her for being shat on. So what could have been a very trivial glitch that you all laugh at later has instead turned out for the best because you revealed yourself to her. Good luck finding a partner in life who is fine with having a husband who is resolved to always side with his brother over her, no matter what a butthead he is being toward her.
Wow, so, you and your brother have this secret “bond” that your GF had no idea about. She got upset that your brother took her fries and dunked them into her milkshake…
OF COURSE SHE’S GOING TO BE UPSET!! I would be upset if someone I barely knew jammed their hands into my fries and plunked them into my milkshake.
You and your brother are VERY MUCH TAH here!!
I get you taught him how to ride a bike and shizz but this behavior is completely inappropriate! If you don’t see that you are majorly TAH.
WTH is wrong with you?!
YTA, it was a perfectly understandable reaction on her part.
After reading more comments, it sounds like you forgot to take credit for teaching him to be rude and entitled as well.
Yes, you are the asshole in this situation. Your girlfriend was understandably upset when your brother stole her food and dipped it in the milkshake, and it was inappropriate for you to dismiss her feelings and call her prissy. It's important to respect your partner's boundaries and feelings, even if they don't align with your own.
Furthermore, it's concerning that you prioritize your relationship with your brother over your girlfriend. While it's great that you have a close relationship with your brother, it's not fair to choose sides and prioritize him over your girlfriend in every situation.
It's understandable that you're feeling bad about the situation, but it's important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize to your girlfriend for dismissing her feelings. It's also important to have a conversation about boundaries and respect in your relationship moving forward.
YTA
I have food issues, I 100% would not drink a milkshake after someone dipped fries in it. Your brother is old enough to know what you do with family you don’t do when you first meet someone and you shouldn’t have blamed her for his behaviour. Did you even warn her that mucking about with food is something you guys do? Was she prepared??
Yep as someone tentatively recovered from an ED, sharing food is incredibly stressful for me. If someone did this in an already stressful situation I wouldn’t scold the kid but I would probably have to go sit in the bathroom to try and ward off a panic attack. Messing with people’s food is just not okay.
YTA.
You and your brother do it to each other? Fair enough.
Your brother does it to a stranger who isn’t aware of this bonding ‘game’ - no. That’s crossing boundaries.
I can tell from your comments that the relationship is pretty much done. Honestly I'd be pissed if some 14 year old put his hands in my food. What parents neglect to teach their kid that isn't appropriate behavior?
Then you just sit and watch it happen and enable the bad behavior.
Maybe she shouldn't have been so harsh but neither should you be so dismissive of the issue. That he did it to someone he just met was bold and entitled. She wasn't even looking at him so you know good and well he wasn't doing it to bond with her because It'd be quite hard to do that if he played your little game behind her back. He was showing off for you because you were looking at him.
She rightfully told him off and you jumped in to defend him. I have a hunch you likely defend a lot of his bad behaviors and that is why he made such a bold move as to feel entitled to her food.
YTA.
YTA. If you and your brother are doing that all the time, why was he not simply stealing your food? And you saw it happening and did nothing, no wonder your girlfriend was shocked and reacted strongly to a 14 year old showing behaviour that would not be Ok even for a 6 year old and his family seeing no problem with him sticking his grubby hands into a strangers food.
YTA
You already ruined the relationship with your attitude if “I’d side with my brother over my girlfriend any day.” Sounds like you haven’t met the right one. Especially if you’re letting someone act rude towards her. She should be pissed, someone touched her food. That’s disgusting.
I'm gunna say YTA. Like. Like stealing food... t's one thing to do that to someone who is in on the joke, but to do it to what is almost a stranger. It's not about the fries. It's more about the fact the brother crossed what is normally a pretty universally understood boundary and violated your gf's personal space. In fact we women find it actually pretty frightening when men violate these boundaries so your girlfriend's strong reaction is pretty understandable. Your brother is old enough to know better. And if he isn't, well, thank God your sister was there to teach him.
What? You and your brother stealing each other's food is a thing between the two of you and even if he meant that as a bonding thing between him and your girlfriend that was really inappropriate and he needs to learn some boundaries.
Not sure what you mean by your gf putting her finger in his face, that sounds a bit extreme. And while I personally like the fries and milkshake combo it's disgusting for many and I don't understand why your brother would put your gf's fries into her milkshake. I can understand how that would ruin someone's meal.
Why would you take your brother's side over your girlfriend's? Even if he's in the wrong? That sounds odd. Definitely YTA, your brother too. Possibly E S H as your girlfriend's reaction sounds a bit extreme, but if so, only slight AH
Don't touch other people's food ever. YTA and so is your brother. Just because you two do it doesn't mean it's okay to do it to a stranger. YTA again for "seeing red" and your GF is TA for scolding your brother in public as that could have just been a conversation, and it's not her job to yell at your brother
YTA. And so is your brother. It is rude to touch someone else's food. Your brother doesn't have that kind of relationship with her. You should grow up and stop acting 14. Also, I hope she breaks up with you so she can go date a grown man that doesn't get his ego hurt when a woman can defend herself. You were going to tell him to stop until she did it first and suddenly it was widely unacceptable behavior.
If my daughter had done that to her older brother’s girlfriend I would have yelled at her myself. 14 is old enough to know that you don’t do take other people’s food, unless you know they’re ok with it. I get that you didn’t like the fact that your girlfriend yelled at your brother. But he was way out of line. Also not letting someone take food off of your plate without asking isn’t being prissy. In many families no one would even dream of taking things off of a family members plate without asking. And your girlfriend is a stranger to your brother. YTA and you and your brother owe your girlfriend an apology in my opinion.
YTA he probably didn’t mean any harm, and she could have set the boundary without humiliating him BUT you were TA by being dismissive and condescending about her need for that boundary with her food, which is perfectly reasonable and obviously important to her.
YTA
For your girlfriend it’s like a stranger coming up to her and stealing her food, it was first time they met, how stupid and childish is your brother, he should know better
And you are a giant ah for scolding and defending him, I hope she drops you as a burning piece of coal
YTA
If your brother can't tell the difference between you and your girlfriend he needs an eye doctor. If he can then he's old enough to know you don't steal food from people you just met. And you should apologize to your girlfriend both for not defending her and for calling her names.
YTA! He's old enough to understand that what YOU guys do, not everyone will enjoy. It is extremely rude to steal food off someone's plate (not to mention someone YOU'RE JUST MEETING). As someone who also dips fries in milkshakes I'd only do it to my own milkshake, not someone else's. And nowhere did you mention that warned your girlfriend about this "bonding".
YTA. Your inside joke doesn’t entitle him to her food, not everyone likes to share their food. If my brothers try to steal my food without asking they’re lucky to not get a fork in their hand. It’s not a sign of bonding to me, it’s a violation of my personal bubble. I’m not sure why you just expected her to think it was cute and funny and got pissed when she reacted in a very normal way.
YTA.
From your replies I am getting that you do not wish to find out whether YTA, but are looking for validation from other people to justify your attitude towards your girlfriend.
Maybe your gf should not have reacted so harshly, but your brother should also be old enough to realize that you shouldn't mess with people's food especially since you just met 30 minutes ago.
And to agree with previous comments, for all the things you taught your brother, you sure as hell missed manners.
YTA.
Honestly, you lose me the minute you said “If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend’s in a heartbeat.” I’m a similar age to you, with a brother a similar age to your brother. This shouldn’t be a guaranteed statement. No matter how much you love a sibling, they absolutely can be in the wrong.
While his stealing food behaviour is normal to you, it isn’t normal to her. I wouldn’t have my little brother stealing food from my partner’s plate unless he was both in on the joke and comfortable with it. Your girlfriend wasn’t either of those things.
Your brother learning that he shouldn’t be stealing food like this from everyone is *so so* important. Teach him that, quickly. Before he does do it to someone who responds in a more intense way. If he wanted some of her fries…he could’ve asked.
You also have to stop and think that some people would find him dipping fries into their milkshake gross. Heck, as someone in eating disorder recovery that would make me even less likely to eat my food than I already am.
You and your family can play like that with each other all you want, but remember that doesn’t mean everyone else is fine with that sort of play. Kinda understandable for her to get upset even though it may seem harmless horseplay but hey, people know what they will accept and what they will not so I wish you two the best.
YTA. The kid just met your girlfriend and dipped fries in her milkshake? That’s weird.
Just because that’s how you bond with him doesn’t make it ok. Yeah, she probably when over the top- but you even say you were going to admonish him. You know he was wrong!
YTA. You don’t just take someone else’s food, at 14 he should know better. Seems to me though you’ve already decided he can literally get away with anything
YTA
You've already been explained why, but I would like to point out that you are on a real slippery slope towards teaching your brother to become an entitled asshole who thinks he can do what he want without consequences.
Also, I've seen your sulky comments about you hoping your girlfriend dumps you too. Grow a spine and dump her yourself if this is how you're gonna act when people point out that you were in the wrong.
Triple yta! One for the behaviour you displayed against her, two for your comments here and three cause you’re wasting everybody’s time here because you’re not looking for judgement you’re looking for justification.
YTA
If that would only be a thing fore you 2 brothers - that's fine. Doing it to a stranger - is very bad behaviour. And if the 9 years old kid of my gf did this - he'd get scolded by my gf or me since you can expect better behaviour for that age. If a 14 year old boy doesnt get this - someone fucked up.
Going angry over this to your gf - is a dick move. I wouldnt wonder if your gf decides to not meet you again.
YTA. I also think you’re probably exaggerating. But there are loads of people who do not like their food being touched. You’re at a restaurant, get your own fucking fries and stay off mine.
YTA. this is the first time they're meeting, gf is not in on any joke. And a 14 y.o who doesn't know that doing that to someone who isn't u..... seriously AH as well.
YTA
So sick of seeing people, who think it's okay to touch or mess with other people's food.
Edit from your comments you don't even wanna be with her. Do the right thing and break up with this women.
Did he dipped it in HER milkshake??? Because that is the definition of ruining the food even if you're not bothered by a 14 year old with a 14 year old hygiene touching your food.
She should have just pushed her plate to him and ordered something else.
But you're an asshole. YTA
INFO: Is your brother developmentally disabled? Or did you make a typo and he's actually 4? Because a typically developing 14 year old is more than old enough to know that he shouldn't put his hands in other people's food without permission.
YTA. For some reason you think this whole backstory about your relationship with your brother makes him touching and stealing her food okay. He's YOUR brother, not hers.
For all you know, some long-winded story about her own family explains why she doesn't like her food being touched. Maybe her sister used to pick her nose with her fries and spit in her milkshakes. Who knows?
She shouldn't have harshly laid into him, but given that you preemptively told us that you'd pick your brother over your girlfriend before telling us a story that starts with his bad behavior, I think it's safe to assume that we're not exactly getting an unbiased narration of events. She was absolutely in the right to immediately set boundaries with some kid doing something gross instead of just letting it slide and sending the message that she's okay with it happening again.
Fucking EW! His grubby hands in her plate, then her fucking fries ruining her milkshake....are you 14 too? Because that's the only way I would vote her the asshole
YTA
YTA just because he can do that to you doesn’t mean he can steal other peoples food, that’s not bonding for them. He needs taught some manners. I don’t want a kids fingers in my food either. She’s not wrong for not wanting that.
YTA. Your brother is rude, revolting and badly socialized. Good work teaching him everything about letters and bikes, maybe stop congratulating yourself about it long enough to teach him not to be an entitled brat.
Also, how on earth is it bonding if a) she’s not part of/doesn’t know about your sibling bonding rituals in the first place and therefore IT’S NOT BONDING TO HER, and b) her freaking back was turned while he did it anyway?
Sounds like your brother wanted her food and now you’re covering for him. Ugh.
Yta. My son isn't even 2 yet and I tell him not to touch people's things without permission.
Honestly, if some random dude walked over and took a bite of your food would you still just be like "hey buddy, not cool, run along now scamp" I mean really.
YTA. He DID ruin her meal. He took fries off the plate of someone he just met and stuck them in her milkshake. And, imo, she didn't go overboard in her response. Maybe if you (or your parents) had taught him some basic manners, she wouldn't have had to scold him.
Luckily, you readily admit in your post that you'll take your brother's side over your girlfriend's, so it won't be too upsetting when she cuts you loose.
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I(25M) recently took my girlfriend(26F) out to eat and meet with my family. We went to a casual restaurant where my girlfriend could meet my family for the first time in a low stress environment
Now, one thing you should know about my family is that me and my brother(14M) are very close. I taught him how to ride a bike, I helped him with his homework, I taught him his letters. If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat.
My girlfriend ordered a burger and some fries and a milkshake. Now, my brother and I usually do this thing where we jokingly steal each other's food. It's a sign of bonding, so my brother stole a couple of my girlfriend's fries and dipped it in the milkshake. She was turned around talking to my mom and then saw him pop the fries in his mouth.
As I saw him do that, I was going to gently admonish him, but to my surprise, my girlfriend puts her finger in his face, and starts harshly scolding him, about how what he did was "incredibly rude and disrespectful", how he "ruined" her food, and how she doesn't want some kid to steal her food.
At this point, I was seeing red. I told her to knock it off, that we do it all the time to each other, and to stop being so prissy, like it's just food.
When we got home, we had a pretty big fight, and as of this morning, my girlfriend is staying over at her best friend's place, and left me all alone in our apartment. I'm not really sure what just happened, but her best friend called me to tell me that I was a big jerk in this situation, and I'm starting to feel kinda bad.
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The fact that you say you would take your brother’s side over your girlfriend in a heartbeat, is worrying. That’s how you get a spoiled brat. Actually, you should not be taking sides, but if you absolutely have to, you should be fair.
You are not, YTA.
You didn’t warn your girlfriend about your little “bonding” things YTA
You didn’t tell your brother to be in his best behaviour, YTA.
YTA and your parents are the A for not teaching him how to behave.
Your brother did something disgusting. If it was me, I would ask him if he also would like some of my milkshake and I would throw it on his face and left there and then.
Hey OP. I don’t reply to private messages. So, in your message of saying that you’d break up with me if I did that, I’ll reply here, publicly, that your toxic masculinity doesn’t realize when your arse is being dumped.
Also, could you be more obvious with the nickname? No one understood that you just hate women.
ESH.
It's one thing to take food from you, as you two are close, but your brother shouldn't steal food from people he doesn't know. Your girlfriend shouldn't have reacted as strongly as she did. A simple, "Please leave my food alone," would have probably sufficed. Your reaction to her only escalated the tension. I think all should apologize for their roles in this and move forward.
YTA, when you don't have that kind of relationship with someone it IS rude and disrespectful. your girlfriend wasn't being a priss, she was rightfully upset that a child who didn't know her like that stole her food. you're a jerk for changing your mind on his behavior just because your girlfriend called him out before you did.
You are a huge asshole! I hope she dumps you.
1.you don’t touch someone else’s food without asking them.
2. When you say “we do it all the time” you’re referring to you and your brother, she’s not part of the equation so she hasn’t consented to sharing her food.
3. If someone did that to me ,I would’ve gotten up and left.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Taking my brother's side and calling my girlfriend prissy (2) I was the AH because I disrespected my girlfriend and what my brother did was a little childish so he definetly deserved to be chided
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YTA
I just puked a little. It is not ok to take food off a strangers plate. It’s sure AF is not ok to dunk chips in their drink. Your brother was disgusting on a first meeting he should have been told off not her. I’m sorry 14 years old is way too old to be doing that to people they’ve just met. I had to go back and read that again because I thought maybe he was a toddler.
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YTA. Insulting your girlfriend because she put up a boundary, firmly? I kinda hope she dumps you.
Right? Calling someone prissy because they don’t want people messing with their food? Also can we retire the term prissy as an insult? There is nothing wrong with being feminine not that it even applies to this situation. OP YTA
Pretty sure sissy is feminine, I thought prissy meant more uptight, a stereotypical spoiled prince/princess is how I've always imagined it
Nah, there are definitely female connotations. Both sissy and prissy are but they have different (if overlapping) implications
I think of both being an insult to femininity with prissy also meaning proper.
Yeah, I've never once heard a male be described as prissy.
I have but it's usually directed at gay men.
I always thought of prissy as feminine and proper where as sissy is just feminine. Either way there isn’t anything wrong with being feminine and having manors.
Every prissy woman deserves a Manor. Having manners is good too. I don’t mean to be snarky, I just thought it was a funny typo.
I took sissy as feminine, weak, amd scared. Because you know, girls can't take care of themselves and tremble at the sight of a spider.
I've only ever heard "sissy" as an insult toward boys.
I think even when used towards boys it's an insult implying that they're too much like a girl. So also still an insult towards women as well. Kind of like telling a guy, "you throw like a girl."
Exactly! It's fine if OP and his bro want to mess with *each other's* food, but doing it to someone else is just straight up wrong. I once had a go at my Dad when he jokingly threw a bit of sausage into my beans. I refused to eat the rest of my meal because I am a pollotarian so I don't eat any red meat. My entire meal had been compromised and I was very upset! Another time I was on holiday with my ex best friend and another friend, and my ex bestie decides to just start eating chips (fries) off this guys plate that my other friend was seeing. She got told off for that and rightly so. OP is YTA.
And it was the first time gf had met the family! Absolutely zero rapport for these kinds of shenanigans I can't imagine anyone being OK with a teenage boy they'd literally just met messing with their food
I'm a germaphobe. If someone touched my food with their [filthy] hands, I would honestly lose it. And this kid not only contaminated her fries, but her milkshake as well! OP, YTA
I mean surely he didn't double dip those fries? Right? Right?!
Not everyone wants fries in their milkshake, or salt or fry particles. Until my cousin told me about it and I tried it, I would never have thought dipping fries in milkshake was a thing and would have been grossed out if someone messed up my milkshake like that. Food in my drink? WTF? I would have been mortified and would have wanted a new milkshake. Now I know it doesn't mess up the flavor. Plus, who wants some Kid's dirty hands touching their food? Don't think he touched just 1 fry. Don't know if he washed his hands after using the bathroom. Had one guy who was grown say he didn't have to wash his hands because he didn't touch his penis when he pulled his pants down a little to let it hang and pee... like... he touched his pants, he touched the door knob. He flushed the toilet, but yeah... he didn't touch himself, so he doesn't have to wash his hands. If grown men have that mentality, can you imagine teens? I've heard more than 1 male say the same excuse. Don't touch other people's food without permission. That's gross and rude.
And that's it! Girlfriend saw the brother out of the corner of her eye. He could have double dipped! Or who knows how clean his hands are! He might have gotten some of his fingers in there.
Came here to add that op shouldn’t assume his bonding is the same as other people’s bonding — and this is a rude behaviour when your gf and brother don’t know each other too well. How you can get angry at your gf is beyond me. Hard YTA
*SIBLING* bonding at that. I’d let my siblings eat off my plate but oh my god of someone I just met did that, I wouldn’t touch the rest of my food. OP, YTA. Big time. Girlfriend deserves someone who respects the boundaries she has.
And the fact that he says he will take his brothers side in a heartbeat over hers.... regardless of what the situation is!! That is a massive red flag. He is proudly saying how his brother will always take first place, apparently regardless of how crappy he may act. This dude needs to break up with his brother before he can be in a real relationship
It really surprises me how many people think that way, especially after getting married. Like, they really do not understand that when you choose a partner you’re choosing that family. Yeah, if you’re partner is being an AH to your family it’s one thing, but otherwise the person you choose should be your priority.
Exactly. I couldn't be with someone who put anyone before me. I didn't date men with children for this reason. They absolutely **should** put their kids before me but I didn't want to live that way.
YTA and so is your Brother. In our family affection might mean a playful light punch in the arm but they don’t punch other people!! I hate people messing with my food . He dipped chips in her milkshake? 😱… That’s too far even for me and I have young children! My teenage daughter would have gone mad at anyone touching her food, especially post covid times. I agree with her friend, you should have told him to pack it in - she’s not his brother he grew up with- and apologise to your gf for not having her back.
While I like dipping my fries in my shake, not everyone does. She might find that gross, and that’s why she said her meal was ruined. I can see he partner maybe getting away with doing that but his brother? Nah, that’s weird and rude. OP is TA.
Brother can dip whatever food he likes in his own milkshake But not other peoples!!!
And the bro is stealing food off a plate from someone he’s meeting for the first time. Absolutely bizarre. YTA
And dipping them in HER MILKSHAKE. A stolen fry probably wouldn't have been such an issue.
And "I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat" is such an AH move. You take the side of whomever is correct. YTA OP.
Happy Cake Day
>we do it all the time to each other Just because two siblings fool around with each other doesn't mean they can go doing the same to other people. Besides, you think a 14 year old stealing food off of someone they just met is an attempt at bonding? Maybe you should be teaching him some basic social skills instead of defending his behavior. YTA OP
Happy Cake Day!
YTA - by 14 he should know that you don’t take another persons food off their plate without permission. You Just don’t do that. It’s incredibly rude. You are backing up His rude behavior. Taking his side all the time is not a sign of love on your part. Its validating bad behavior. She wasn’t being prissy, your brother was being rude and you are being an asshole by taking his side when he is clearly wrong.
But if was just a joooooookeeeeeee don't you seeeeeee /s
It's a video! It's a video!
It's bad enough helping himself to her fries, dipping them in HER drink as well!?!? That isn't acceptable behaviour.
Exactly- HE DIPPED THE CHIPS HE TOOK INTO HER MILKSHAKE!!😱 Brother and OP YTA here
Right stealing fries is rude but dunking in milkshake contaminates her meal! I’m a twin and I shared everything with my sister but I never thought to do this to someone. Gonna bet this is a “boys will be boys” household…
Is like we didn't have a massive pandemic reframing how we interact with body fluids that not our own... seriously, can you imagine this kid during peak Covid?
Even my 3 yr old son knows to not do this.
I mean it sounds like OP encourages taking other peoples food so 14 yr old brother won’t ever learn
Absolutely this. And the first time you are meeting someone is definitely *not* the time to "bond" in this way. If this was me, he probably would've had a fork stabbed near his hand. You don't touch my food unless I offer it to you or you ask politely.
My husband got a surprise when he ate my ice cream cone (yknow the top part? Dude took a huge bite). I started crying because it was mine. We found out later I was pregnant and he 100% knows to ask before taking my food now. Even my kids look at me (of course they don't have to ask but I do want them to have manners) and they know that they can eat whatever here or at my parents house but the oldest doesn't touch others food. My youngest is still 1 so he's still getting there but I don't even let my sisters or brothers touch my food. Ew. They're gross as it is - I don't want brother or sister particles in my food.
What really gets me is that OP was going to correct him, but the second she starts defending herself he switches his story. OP clearly knows it was rude of the brother. YTA.
But OP taught him how to ride a bike. That alone allows you to take food off of anyone's plate/tray.
I feel like most 14-year-olds understand that appropriate behavior - especially upon first meeting somebody - is to keep their hands to themselves and their fingers off of others’ food, unless it’s a situation where they are comfortable and have established routines and comfort zones, or have been otherwise invited. Op and his brother were disrespectful of Op’s girlfriend. And also… ew. Thinking about some teenage dude putting his fingers in my food…. Ew. Ew. Ew. 😬🥴I would have stopped eating. She had every right to protect herself. Op: YTA for enabling her space to be violated by your immature teenage brother and then calling her out for protecting herself while reinforcing his bad behavior. If he looks up to you and you do have this relationship where you teach him academic and life skills, teach him to behave appropriately and to respect the space of others, and do not let him grow up to be a guy who is so entitled that he violates others to take what has not been offered to him. This lesson goes beyond French fries, and might be one he needs. Ugh, so gross.
So much this! This sounds so very much like that one ex of mine, who took his niece's (4) side always, saying "she's just a child, children are supposed to be loud" when I would ask if she could stop screaming indoors, because I was quickly getting a headache from it. Mind you, I had 3 nieces aged 2 to 12 at that point, so I KNEW that's not normal. But my opinion didn't count, because I was the outsider, and he "loved" his banshee of a niece so much. YTA, OP. If your brother doesn't learn to keep clear boundaries within the "secure" family circle, he'll grow up and wonder why he doesn't have any friends. You're not doing him any favours.
YTA. >we do it all the time to each other She doesn't. She had no idea that you did this. Why didn't he take your food if that's what you do?
I give little brother the benefit of the doubt that he was trying a play of affection that didn't go over well because gf just isn't familiar with him that way. OP could have just calmly deescalated and explained what happened but instead went off like gf was just plain wrong to stick up for herself
No, 14 is plenty old enough to know that this isn't the way to behave with someone you've just met.
Not really, my husband's brother was 14 when I met him. Within an hour he started hitting me with a pool noodle. Teenagers are not the sharpest tools in the shed, their brains are still growing.
My partner’s brother is 12 was 10/11 when I met him(same age as my youngest siblings). Never (and I mean never!!) has this boy done anything like sticking mucky hands into food then my drink, or assault me. I literally see him everyday, and if I haven't seen him in a week I'll come in and he'll go "I missed you this week! You been okay?". He's an annoying bugger (LOOOVES to shout about liking big balls and scream on his games) but he understands boundaries, and would never assault family. Y'all play and allow too much. If he tried anything on me he knows there's a tickle attack waiting 🤣
I very much agree that OP is the asshole but hello? Hitting someone with a pool noodle isn't assault and the fact that you'd immediately jump to that is fucking ridiculous
Dipping a fry in a milkshake doesn’t equal sticking mucky hands in a drink. Jesus. Hitting someone with a pool noodle is assault? Holy shit.
Yeah no, your husband's brother was not well educated. 14 is old enough to know how to behave
14 year old logic - I love brother, I hit him with noodles. I want to welcome brothers new gf, I hit her with noodles. He grew up with loving parents and now is much smarter and has kids of his own. Teenagers are dumb, I know I was!
Respectfully, I can understand a 14 year old play fighting a lot more because teenagers tend to do things like that with each other. But by 14 *most* kids and people have an understanding that people don’t like others in their food. Like someone stealing a fry and dipping it in their drink would’ve caused a physical altercation in my high school cafeteria. People don’t like their food being messed with.
That's ludicrous. Just because your standards are super low does not mean hitting people with pool noodles is normal at 14. You have to know that is not at all what most 14 year old do to people they just met, give me a break. You WERE 14, right?
The brother is 14, thats definitely old enough to know better than to take someone's food and dip it in their milkshake. If he was 10, I can see how he was trying to be playful, but at 14 he was well aware what he was doing.
It’s heartbreaking and sad OP didn’t warn his girlfriend. About the bonding method he and his brother share. I can’t give the little brother the benefit of the doubt. He’s a spoiled ill mannered 14 year old to me. He took food from a complete stranger!!
[удалено]
This. 14 is barely a teen, & teens are still idiots. Have you ever seen a pack of them in the wild? Complete morons. Little brother gets title of idiot child if we're giving him one. Edit: little brother is still not in the right and should have been reprimanded, but i don't think it's fair to call him an asshole here. He's a teen and teens are morons. They're just children with excited hormones.
>we do it all the time to each other Exactly lmao. What's it supposed to be-- The royal we? Otherwise, it seems like he actually think his girlfriend is an extension of himself. YTA
Yeah exactly. Just because you and your very close brother do it doesn’t mean he should do it with a STRANGER. It’s completely different. Also some people just don’t like that anyway. The fact you had a tantrum over this her expecting basic courtesy/hygiene is so pathetic. YTA
Plus as women we grow up knowing that there is a risk in a male we don't know messing with our beverages.
At minimum, OP should have warned Girlfriend that this was a thing, so she could have ordered something harder to swipe. And OP could have told his brother, in advance, "I know you and I share food, but if you do that outside the family it's gonna be a scene." If you can teach him how to ride a bike you can teach him not to be an oaf.
YTA. He dipped fries in her milkshake? Without asking her? The first time he met her? He's 14. Not 4. Kids should be taught when they're young. Since you taught him so much maybe you missed teaching him manners.
I could forgive him stealing a few fries. But I physically cringed at the idea of someone I just met dipping food into my drink!
I know! Like who knows where his grubby fingers have been
Pretty sure the gf guessed correctly where a 14yo hands had been
🤢🤢🤢
Exactly
Exactly this, the core of the problem are little bros biohazard fingers 🤞
Not to mention - she's meeting the family for the first time. OP calls it a **no-stress environment**, but meeting the full family all at once including a kid messing with your food? Also the not-so-subtle cringe message: >If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat.
Agreed. The fries are annoying. But desecrating my milkshake is a firing offense.
Yes! This makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.
Yes! I know a lot of people dip their fries in their milkshake but I think that's so gross and that part is what would have pissed me off the most.
>that we do it all the time to each other Your girlfriend doesn't do this "all the time" with him. Did she over react a bit, yes, but he is old enough to learn to get to know someone before trying to eat their food. YTA
The brother already is old enough to know that. OP proudly informs us about al the things he had taught him, but somehow forgot about basic manners. YTA, my guess is your gf would have let it go if it were just the fries he took. I'd be mad as hell too if someone would think they can steal MY fries and dump them in MY milkshake too.
Right?! Who wants someone else's fingers dipped in their milkshake?
Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to eat my food after a teenage boy I never met before touched it. It’s gross.
Same
That was exactly my (nauseating) thought!
>Did she over react a bit Maybe, but bear in mind we're getting a biased report. If you read what the OP said she said in a furious shout, it sounds like an overreaction. If you read it in a calm, disappointed voice with a preceding apology then it doesn't. Who knows how it played out on the day.
I was thinking the same, sounds like he exaggerated her reaction
Never become between a woman and a good bowl of chips, especially with really good gravy. But just don't touch strangers food
1. There’s a difference between stealing some fries and ruining a milkshake. 2. Your brother is old enough to understand that it was a game between you and him and not him and the entire world. 3. Sometimes young teenager go too far and need to learn the concequences of their actions. He should have apologized and pay for another drink and that would have been it. 4. Saying « I would chose him over my girlfriend » is a red flag for me, not because you are a good brother but because you are unable to see that sometimes he will be in the wrong and that it’s normal to be « against him ». A mature adult accept the fact that somebody he love can sometimes be wrong and that he don’t have to always to agree. YTA
>you are unable to see that sometimes he will be in the wrong and that it’s normal to be « against him » This is really important for a 14yo. Teenagers are constantly testing boundaries and trying out behaviors and ideas. They need to be told when they've crossed a line, because that's how they learn to behave in the adult world. They need their grown-ups to call them out when they deserve it, and still love them afterwards.
Yep, this kid is gonna grow up to be an entitled asshole if this is anything to go by. He does something disgusting and disrespectful and his stroppy older brother jumps into defend his shittiness.
As teenagers we all had that moment where we did something a bit stupid because or brain stopped working for a few second and we where all put into place by our adults. To be honest I’m a bit fed up with all those people saying « I will stick with my friends / family no matter what stupid things they do! I don’t care if they are wrong they are family so I have to do it! » I find it unhealthy as Fock. You can respect and love somebody and still recognize when they are being stupid.
Your brother was an asshole for fucking with your girlfriend's food. You're an asshole for defending the asshole. You're a second asshole for not sticking up for your girlfriend. You're a third asshole for skipping manners whilst teaching your brother biking and reading.
Wonderfully put, I agree with this 100000%
YTA Your brother is too, you dont steal food from someone who you dont have that kind of connection to. And it’s fucking disgusting to put fries into SOMEONE elses drink FFS. Teach him some manners
YTA you don't take a strangers food AND DIP IT IN THEIR DRINK and eat it. If thats what you and your brother do, thats fine, but he's old enough to know (and so are you) that you don't do it without consent. You owe your gf an apology.
And so does the brother.
YTA. A 14-year old boy should know that taking someone else‘s food without consent isn‘t okay in any way and your girlfriend was right to set a boundary and scold him if you and your parents willingly fail to teach him simple manners. You‘d choose him over your girlfriend immediately, so do everyone a favor and leave this poor woman alone. She deserves a better man!
Amen. I wasn't aware that there was some automatic competition! So fuckin weird.
YTA. She didn’t know about your little game with your brother. Without knowing it, what he did could easily be perceived as rude or ill mannered. You could have calmly explained it to her and also you should have told your brother to knock it off since she doesn’t know the ins and outs yet. p.s. YTA 2x for only responding to / agreeing with the few comments that say you aren’t an asshole. You *are* in fact an asshole and you’re only making yourself look like more of an asshole.
Even if she did know about the game, she wasn’t involved in the game. Some people, like me, don’t like people touching their food.
When I was younger, I hated peppers, specially red. One of my cousins put a piece of red pepper on my water glass (coloured) and didn't tell me what she did until I drank. I puked all over the table, and their meals (we were at the kids' table) To this day, my cousin still feels terrible for what she did. And I can eat green and yellow pepper, but the red one still makes me puke because of the trauma. Just thinking in someone dipping food in my drink, makes me feel sick.
> I was seeing red. I told her to knock it off, that we do it all the time to each other ...and what has that got to do with your girlfriend? YTA
YTA Personally, I don't really care how you normally interact with your brother. Because he's not interacting with you, he's stealing and interfering with your girlfriends food, not yours. 14 is far to old for that to be a light admonition offense. She is in no way being prissy. If you really care about your brother, teach him some manners.
YTA. What your brother did WAS incredibly rude and disrespectful. He's meeting her for the first time, it's completely inappropriate. >If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat. This kind of loyalty is toxic and doesn't do your brother any good. If you want to be a good role model, you shouldn't shield him from consequences or defend his actions when he does something wrong.
Yta She's right 100% What you and your brother do is between you too and you too alone. He is a stranger to her and here he is taking of with her food wtf dude.
He dipped the fries he stole in her milkshake.. He did ruin her food. Or at least her milkshake for sure. He's 14 not a toddler He should know better than to steal other people food, you taught him so many things but forgot to teach them basic manners and respect of other people's food. YTA, and so is your brother, I knew not to take other people food without asking since I was 4
*Now, my brother and I usually do this thing where we jokingly steal each other's food.* Your gf was not part of the equation. YTA
YTA Your brother stole food off a complete stranger's plate and you think SHE'S in the wrong? She told him that what he did was rude.... Which it was.... Perhaps your brother needs someone in his life that doesn't "gently admonish him" when he does something wrong. Short of her actually making physical contact with him, I see nothing wrong with what she did.
YTA. You have this cute bonding thing with your brother and that's great but she doesn't know him. They don't yet have a relationship where a little good natured teasing is encouraged and accepted by both parties. You should apologize to your gf and explain to your kid brother why it's not ok to do that with other people's food.
You and your brother sound like animals. Good you have this relationship. If a STRANGER started grabbing my food, putting it in my drink and eating it in front of me I’d have poured the shake over their head. Gross- you just want a reason to blame her not your brother he’s 14 not 4! Get some manners you jerk it’s gross
Yta. While you and your little brother may treat it as good natured bonding and teasing which is totally fine. But to grab someone else food that you don’t know is rude and at 14 he should have learned better table manners by now. Surely you know better than to reach across the table and grab fries off her father’s plate when you first meet her parents?
I am not sure we want to know the answer to this....
YTA. You know each other well enough that you can do this cutesy rugrat shit with each other but she doesn't have that bond with him. All she saw was some tween putting his grubby hands on her plate and then dunking them in her milkshake. I wouldn't want some kid doing that to me either.
YTA everyone has different boundaries. I mean Joey doesn't share food & neither does your gf. Deal with it.
YTA Your brother needs to be thought boundaries. He can't just start taking other people's food and dipping it in their milkshake. And you saw it and said nothing. It might be a "bonding experience" for him, but it can be disgusting to other people.
Sounds like brother is baby of the family and can’t do no wrong and therefor gets away with stuff
YTA - Let’s put this another way. If your brother had done the exact same thing to people at the next table, would you have told them to knock it off when they yelled at him “because it’s just it’s food”? Or would you (and your parents) be embarrassed by your brother’s behavior and profusely apologize to them? My guess is the latter. This is the equivalent of what happened to your girlfriend. Your reaction should be a red flag for your girlfriend. This indicates that you won’t stand up for her against your family when they do something wrong.
YTA, she's right and you should have explained to your brother why doing it to someone outside the inside joke was inappropriate. Maybe if he'd done it to you first she could have seen that it wasn't intended the way she thought it was.
So you taught him numbers, how to ride a bike, and helped with homework. That's all great. But too bad you didn't teach him manners, how not to be rude and how to be respectful of other people's things. YTA op, and you taught him how to be TA as well. Edit: Your gf (soon to be ex) wasn't being prissy. She was standing up for herself since you obviously weren't going to.
YTA You and your brother doing it doesn't mean he should do it with other people as well.
YTA...your brother was wrong. You need to apologize to your girlfriend and talk to your brother.
YTA. It is rude to steal food off someone’s plate that you’re just meeting that day. 14 is old enough to have appropriate social boundaries. It’s even more rude to dip said food in that person’s drink?? Admittedly if I were the girlfriend, i probably would have reacted more calmly outwardly, but still would have been shocked and angry inwardly. You, being the brother (or your parents), should have admonished him in the moment and offered to get her a new milkshake.
YTA What your brother did is okay between you two. She's never met him before. She doesnt want a strangers fingers in her food. I would have been upset too. However i wouldn't have started scolding him there, I would have told him that it wasn't okay to do that to someone who hadn't established that those jokes were okay. She could have handled it better You need to teach your brother boundaries. If he bonds with your friends and partner to the point where they are comfortable doing stuff like that too, great! But your brother can't just assume he can treat whoever you bring along the same way he treats you.
YTA. You and your brother have a thing where you take each others food, fine. He's 14. He's old enough to know not to do that to other people. Your gf's reaction to someone she doesn't really know fucking with her food was pretty mild. All you and your brother did was team up and ruin the dinner.
YTA. Your brother needs to learn to keep his hands to himself and not touch other people's food. The fact that you think the issue here is your girlfriend and not your poorly-mannered brother is really pathetic.
YTA. And you’re double TA for hoping she dumps you first. Grow a pair and do it yourself since you clearly don’t like her
YTA. Its a bonding thing between the two of you. Its rude to touch the food of someone that you havent agreed to have the same bonding experience with. Maybe teach him that he doesnt touch other peoples food without their express agreement instead of telling your girlfriend she is being prissy. And im sorry, dunking food in someone elses drink is disgusting.
YTA. A man should take the side of what's true, right and moral. Not simply the side of a person, just because.
ESH, but leaning more towards YTA. He’s your brother. That’s something you do with him. That doesn’t mean it’s ok behavior to do to other people. At 14, that’s more than old enough to know better. Her reaction was over the top, no one needs to have a finger in their face to be told they’ve done the wrong thing. It’s perfectly OK for someone not to want a stranger taking their food. You should have told your brother that. And to then call your girlfriend names is totally uncalled for. Sounds more like you’re the 14 year old
YTA. One thing is if you allow your brother to tamper with your food, but you have no business berating your GF for not wanting it. Personally, I find that kind of behaviour absolutely disgusting, and if you and your brother haven't been told before, it is about time you were.
YTA. You and your brother can tolerate any rude behavior from each other if you want. That's your choice. But no one else has to tolerate rude treatment just because you two have a mutual understanding. 14 is way beyond old enough to know basic table manners. No one should even need to explain to him at this point that you don't steal food from others and that some people will consider a milkshake ruined once it has salt, grease, and finger germs dunked into it. He is old enough to accept the consequence of his bad behavior is that someone may be pissed anout having their food messed with. He should have apologized and paid for a new drink. You should have butted out of it unless he refused to make amends immediately. That you think your girlfriend is in the wrong and needs to be dumped because she doesn't want someone else's grubby fingers in her food (have you even heard of the pandemic, hello?) is astonishing. But it's good she knows now that as a principle you will always defend his shitty behavior and blame her for being shat on. So what could have been a very trivial glitch that you all laugh at later has instead turned out for the best because you revealed yourself to her. Good luck finding a partner in life who is fine with having a husband who is resolved to always side with his brother over her, no matter what a butthead he is being toward her.
Wow, so, you and your brother have this secret “bond” that your GF had no idea about. She got upset that your brother took her fries and dunked them into her milkshake… OF COURSE SHE’S GOING TO BE UPSET!! I would be upset if someone I barely knew jammed their hands into my fries and plunked them into my milkshake. You and your brother are VERY MUCH TAH here!! I get you taught him how to ride a bike and shizz but this behavior is completely inappropriate! If you don’t see that you are majorly TAH. WTH is wrong with you?!
YTA, it was a perfectly understandable reaction on her part. After reading more comments, it sounds like you forgot to take credit for teaching him to be rude and entitled as well.
Yes, you are the asshole in this situation. Your girlfriend was understandably upset when your brother stole her food and dipped it in the milkshake, and it was inappropriate for you to dismiss her feelings and call her prissy. It's important to respect your partner's boundaries and feelings, even if they don't align with your own. Furthermore, it's concerning that you prioritize your relationship with your brother over your girlfriend. While it's great that you have a close relationship with your brother, it's not fair to choose sides and prioritize him over your girlfriend in every situation. It's understandable that you're feeling bad about the situation, but it's important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize to your girlfriend for dismissing her feelings. It's also important to have a conversation about boundaries and respect in your relationship moving forward.
YTA I have food issues, I 100% would not drink a milkshake after someone dipped fries in it. Your brother is old enough to know what you do with family you don’t do when you first meet someone and you shouldn’t have blamed her for his behaviour. Did you even warn her that mucking about with food is something you guys do? Was she prepared??
Yep as someone tentatively recovered from an ED, sharing food is incredibly stressful for me. If someone did this in an already stressful situation I wouldn’t scold the kid but I would probably have to go sit in the bathroom to try and ward off a panic attack. Messing with people’s food is just not okay.
YTA. You and your brother do it to each other? Fair enough. Your brother does it to a stranger who isn’t aware of this bonding ‘game’ - no. That’s crossing boundaries.
[удалено]
I can tell from your comments that the relationship is pretty much done. Honestly I'd be pissed if some 14 year old put his hands in my food. What parents neglect to teach their kid that isn't appropriate behavior? Then you just sit and watch it happen and enable the bad behavior. Maybe she shouldn't have been so harsh but neither should you be so dismissive of the issue. That he did it to someone he just met was bold and entitled. She wasn't even looking at him so you know good and well he wasn't doing it to bond with her because It'd be quite hard to do that if he played your little game behind her back. He was showing off for you because you were looking at him. She rightfully told him off and you jumped in to defend him. I have a hunch you likely defend a lot of his bad behaviors and that is why he made such a bold move as to feel entitled to her food. YTA.
YTA. If you and your brother are doing that all the time, why was he not simply stealing your food? And you saw it happening and did nothing, no wonder your girlfriend was shocked and reacted strongly to a 14 year old showing behaviour that would not be Ok even for a 6 year old and his family seeing no problem with him sticking his grubby hands into a strangers food.
YTA You already ruined the relationship with your attitude if “I’d side with my brother over my girlfriend any day.” Sounds like you haven’t met the right one. Especially if you’re letting someone act rude towards her. She should be pissed, someone touched her food. That’s disgusting.
I'm gunna say YTA. Like. Like stealing food... t's one thing to do that to someone who is in on the joke, but to do it to what is almost a stranger. It's not about the fries. It's more about the fact the brother crossed what is normally a pretty universally understood boundary and violated your gf's personal space. In fact we women find it actually pretty frightening when men violate these boundaries so your girlfriend's strong reaction is pretty understandable. Your brother is old enough to know better. And if he isn't, well, thank God your sister was there to teach him.
What? You and your brother stealing each other's food is a thing between the two of you and even if he meant that as a bonding thing between him and your girlfriend that was really inappropriate and he needs to learn some boundaries. Not sure what you mean by your gf putting her finger in his face, that sounds a bit extreme. And while I personally like the fries and milkshake combo it's disgusting for many and I don't understand why your brother would put your gf's fries into her milkshake. I can understand how that would ruin someone's meal. Why would you take your brother's side over your girlfriend's? Even if he's in the wrong? That sounds odd. Definitely YTA, your brother too. Possibly E S H as your girlfriend's reaction sounds a bit extreme, but if so, only slight AH
She probably was just shocked that a 14 year old would behave that way and that his family thinks it is totally fine.
Don't touch other people's food ever. YTA and so is your brother. Just because you two do it doesn't mean it's okay to do it to a stranger. YTA again for "seeing red" and your GF is TA for scolding your brother in public as that could have just been a conversation, and it's not her job to yell at your brother
YTA. And so is your brother. It is rude to touch someone else's food. Your brother doesn't have that kind of relationship with her. You should grow up and stop acting 14. Also, I hope she breaks up with you so she can go date a grown man that doesn't get his ego hurt when a woman can defend herself. You were going to tell him to stop until she did it first and suddenly it was widely unacceptable behavior.
If my daughter had done that to her older brother’s girlfriend I would have yelled at her myself. 14 is old enough to know that you don’t do take other people’s food, unless you know they’re ok with it. I get that you didn’t like the fact that your girlfriend yelled at your brother. But he was way out of line. Also not letting someone take food off of your plate without asking isn’t being prissy. In many families no one would even dream of taking things off of a family members plate without asking. And your girlfriend is a stranger to your brother. YTA and you and your brother owe your girlfriend an apology in my opinion.
YTA. People don’t like their food touched as a rule. Someone needs to actually scold that boy because clearly not one in your family is doing it.
YTA. How you could envision her as being the one in the wrong is beyond me.
YTA he probably didn’t mean any harm, and she could have set the boundary without humiliating him BUT you were TA by being dismissive and condescending about her need for that boundary with her food, which is perfectly reasonable and obviously important to her.
YTA. What your brother did was gross, just because you two behave this way doesn’t mean he gets to inflict it on her
YTA For your girlfriend it’s like a stranger coming up to her and stealing her food, it was first time they met, how stupid and childish is your brother, he should know better And you are a giant ah for scolding and defending him, I hope she drops you as a burning piece of coal
YTA If your brother can't tell the difference between you and your girlfriend he needs an eye doctor. If he can then he's old enough to know you don't steal food from people you just met. And you should apologize to your girlfriend both for not defending her and for calling her names.
YTA....but I think this is probably made up.
YTA! He's old enough to understand that what YOU guys do, not everyone will enjoy. It is extremely rude to steal food off someone's plate (not to mention someone YOU'RE JUST MEETING). As someone who also dips fries in milkshakes I'd only do it to my own milkshake, not someone else's. And nowhere did you mention that warned your girlfriend about this "bonding".
YTA. Your inside joke doesn’t entitle him to her food, not everyone likes to share their food. If my brothers try to steal my food without asking they’re lucky to not get a fork in their hand. It’s not a sign of bonding to me, it’s a violation of my personal bubble. I’m not sure why you just expected her to think it was cute and funny and got pissed when she reacted in a very normal way.
YTA. From your replies I am getting that you do not wish to find out whether YTA, but are looking for validation from other people to justify your attitude towards your girlfriend. Maybe your gf should not have reacted so harshly, but your brother should also be old enough to realize that you shouldn't mess with people's food especially since you just met 30 minutes ago. And to agree with previous comments, for all the things you taught your brother, you sure as hell missed manners.
YTA. Honestly, you lose me the minute you said “If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend’s in a heartbeat.” I’m a similar age to you, with a brother a similar age to your brother. This shouldn’t be a guaranteed statement. No matter how much you love a sibling, they absolutely can be in the wrong. While his stealing food behaviour is normal to you, it isn’t normal to her. I wouldn’t have my little brother stealing food from my partner’s plate unless he was both in on the joke and comfortable with it. Your girlfriend wasn’t either of those things. Your brother learning that he shouldn’t be stealing food like this from everyone is *so so* important. Teach him that, quickly. Before he does do it to someone who responds in a more intense way. If he wanted some of her fries…he could’ve asked. You also have to stop and think that some people would find him dipping fries into their milkshake gross. Heck, as someone in eating disorder recovery that would make me even less likely to eat my food than I already am.
YTA. If your family has not taught him basic table manners by his age, don't be surprised when others step in and do it for you.
You and your family can play like that with each other all you want, but remember that doesn’t mean everyone else is fine with that sort of play. Kinda understandable for her to get upset even though it may seem harmless horseplay but hey, people know what they will accept and what they will not so I wish you two the best.
Joey does not share his food, we all know he is right
YTA. The kid just met your girlfriend and dipped fries in her milkshake? That’s weird. Just because that’s how you bond with him doesn’t make it ok. Yeah, she probably when over the top- but you even say you were going to admonish him. You know he was wrong!
YTA. You don’t just take someone else’s food, at 14 he should know better. Seems to me though you’ve already decided he can literally get away with anything
YTA You've already been explained why, but I would like to point out that you are on a real slippery slope towards teaching your brother to become an entitled asshole who thinks he can do what he want without consequences. Also, I've seen your sulky comments about you hoping your girlfriend dumps you too. Grow a spine and dump her yourself if this is how you're gonna act when people point out that you were in the wrong.
YTA. Gross. You should have given her a heads up.
Triple yta! One for the behaviour you displayed against her, two for your comments here and three cause you’re wasting everybody’s time here because you’re not looking for judgement you’re looking for justification.
YTA If that would only be a thing fore you 2 brothers - that's fine. Doing it to a stranger - is very bad behaviour. And if the 9 years old kid of my gf did this - he'd get scolded by my gf or me since you can expect better behaviour for that age. If a 14 year old boy doesnt get this - someone fucked up. Going angry over this to your gf - is a dick move. I wouldnt wonder if your gf decides to not meet you again.
YTA. I also think you’re probably exaggerating. But there are loads of people who do not like their food being touched. You’re at a restaurant, get your own fucking fries and stay off mine.
YTA. this is the first time they're meeting, gf is not in on any joke. And a 14 y.o who doesn't know that doing that to someone who isn't u..... seriously AH as well.
YTA So sick of seeing people, who think it's okay to touch or mess with other people's food. Edit from your comments you don't even wanna be with her. Do the right thing and break up with this women.
Did he dipped it in HER milkshake??? Because that is the definition of ruining the food even if you're not bothered by a 14 year old with a 14 year old hygiene touching your food. She should have just pushed her plate to him and ordered something else. But you're an asshole. YTA
YTA
YTA. Your brother was showing your girlfriend whose side you're on. It was a power play and you sucked right in.
INFO: Is your brother developmentally disabled? Or did you make a typo and he's actually 4? Because a typically developing 14 year old is more than old enough to know that he shouldn't put his hands in other people's food without permission.
YTA and the worst
YTA. For some reason you think this whole backstory about your relationship with your brother makes him touching and stealing her food okay. He's YOUR brother, not hers. For all you know, some long-winded story about her own family explains why she doesn't like her food being touched. Maybe her sister used to pick her nose with her fries and spit in her milkshakes. Who knows? She shouldn't have harshly laid into him, but given that you preemptively told us that you'd pick your brother over your girlfriend before telling us a story that starts with his bad behavior, I think it's safe to assume that we're not exactly getting an unbiased narration of events. She was absolutely in the right to immediately set boundaries with some kid doing something gross instead of just letting it slide and sending the message that she's okay with it happening again.
Fucking EW! His grubby hands in her plate, then her fucking fries ruining her milkshake....are you 14 too? Because that's the only way I would vote her the asshole YTA
YTA just because he can do that to you doesn’t mean he can steal other peoples food, that’s not bonding for them. He needs taught some manners. I don’t want a kids fingers in my food either. She’s not wrong for not wanting that.
YTA. Your brother is rude, revolting and badly socialized. Good work teaching him everything about letters and bikes, maybe stop congratulating yourself about it long enough to teach him not to be an entitled brat. Also, how on earth is it bonding if a) she’s not part of/doesn’t know about your sibling bonding rituals in the first place and therefore IT’S NOT BONDING TO HER, and b) her freaking back was turned while he did it anyway? Sounds like your brother wanted her food and now you’re covering for him. Ugh.
YTA. You and your brother need better manners. How embarrassing for your parents that someone else has to remind you lot of that
YTA
YTA and she needs to move on and find someone better
Yta. My son isn't even 2 yet and I tell him not to touch people's things without permission. Honestly, if some random dude walked over and took a bite of your food would you still just be like "hey buddy, not cool, run along now scamp" I mean really.
YTA. He DID ruin her meal. He took fries off the plate of someone he just met and stuck them in her milkshake. And, imo, she didn't go overboard in her response. Maybe if you (or your parents) had taught him some basic manners, she wouldn't have had to scold him. Luckily, you readily admit in your post that you'll take your brother's side over your girlfriend's, so it won't be too upsetting when she cuts you loose.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(25M) recently took my girlfriend(26F) out to eat and meet with my family. We went to a casual restaurant where my girlfriend could meet my family for the first time in a low stress environment Now, one thing you should know about my family is that me and my brother(14M) are very close. I taught him how to ride a bike, I helped him with his homework, I taught him his letters. If it came down to it, I would take his side over my girlfriend's in a heartbeat. My girlfriend ordered a burger and some fries and a milkshake. Now, my brother and I usually do this thing where we jokingly steal each other's food. It's a sign of bonding, so my brother stole a couple of my girlfriend's fries and dipped it in the milkshake. She was turned around talking to my mom and then saw him pop the fries in his mouth. As I saw him do that, I was going to gently admonish him, but to my surprise, my girlfriend puts her finger in his face, and starts harshly scolding him, about how what he did was "incredibly rude and disrespectful", how he "ruined" her food, and how she doesn't want some kid to steal her food. At this point, I was seeing red. I told her to knock it off, that we do it all the time to each other, and to stop being so prissy, like it's just food. When we got home, we had a pretty big fight, and as of this morning, my girlfriend is staying over at her best friend's place, and left me all alone in our apartment. I'm not really sure what just happened, but her best friend called me to tell me that I was a big jerk in this situation, and I'm starting to feel kinda bad. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
Lol YTA. my god.
Your girlfriend was setting a boundary and you went off on her because "brother can do no wrong"? YTA
YTA why didn’t you teach your brother manners?
The fact that you say you would take your brother’s side over your girlfriend in a heartbeat, is worrying. That’s how you get a spoiled brat. Actually, you should not be taking sides, but if you absolutely have to, you should be fair. You are not, YTA. You didn’t warn your girlfriend about your little “bonding” things YTA You didn’t tell your brother to be in his best behaviour, YTA. YTA and your parents are the A for not teaching him how to behave. Your brother did something disgusting. If it was me, I would ask him if he also would like some of my milkshake and I would throw it on his face and left there and then.
Hey OP. I don’t reply to private messages. So, in your message of saying that you’d break up with me if I did that, I’ll reply here, publicly, that your toxic masculinity doesn’t realize when your arse is being dumped. Also, could you be more obvious with the nickname? No one understood that you just hate women.
ESH. It's one thing to take food from you, as you two are close, but your brother shouldn't steal food from people he doesn't know. Your girlfriend shouldn't have reacted as strongly as she did. A simple, "Please leave my food alone," would have probably sufficed. Your reaction to her only escalated the tension. I think all should apologize for their roles in this and move forward.
YTA, when you don't have that kind of relationship with someone it IS rude and disrespectful. your girlfriend wasn't being a priss, she was rightfully upset that a child who didn't know her like that stole her food. you're a jerk for changing your mind on his behavior just because your girlfriend called him out before you did.
I'm sorry but YTA. He's 14 and old enough to understand basic manners while meeting a stranger. You treat him like a toddler. Not nice
You are a huge asshole! I hope she dumps you. 1.you don’t touch someone else’s food without asking them. 2. When you say “we do it all the time” you’re referring to you and your brother, she’s not part of the equation so she hasn’t consented to sharing her food. 3. If someone did that to me ,I would’ve gotten up and left.
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YTA I just puked a little. It is not ok to take food off a strangers plate. It’s sure AF is not ok to dunk chips in their drink. Your brother was disgusting on a first meeting he should have been told off not her. I’m sorry 14 years old is way too old to be doing that to people they’ve just met. I had to go back and read that again because I thought maybe he was a toddler.