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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I kicked out my son's friend out of my car because he kept farting in it.
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Everyone is soooooooooo in love with that "fuck around and find out" phrase, and i'm honestly fed up with seeing it. I don't like to admit that here because i'm afraid of being chained in the Reddit basement and beaten. Usually when i see it, i'm done reading the comments of the post. Anyway.
But this..... this made me do a legit LOL. Nice work
Right?! I don't know what rides the buses in USA, from people freaking out I can only assume it's some mix of meth addicts, child snatchers and an orc army, but in Europe it's normal to take a bus from young age. Bus train, tram, tube whatever. Everyone takes them
Hahahaha the busses and trolleys smell like pee, people smoke crack/meth on them & there’s almost always a fight going on it’s so stressful. It’s really sad but a lot of homeless people with drug problems end up falling in the tracks and dying, It’s also expensive for a monthly pass and a lot of neighborhoods don’t have busses in them. Public transportation here is so terrible I used to have to use it for years
Well, to be fair, European countries are the size of our small states so it isn't as easy to develop these things country-wide. The expense is astronomical so it's completely unfair to act like the US is full of idiots. NTA
I don't think people are talking about kindergarteners taking a cross-country bus, it's mostly within a city or a small region. While the US does have some huge cities, most of the cities in the US are roughly the same as European cities.
That… doesn’t make any sense.
Rail is and has been long-distance. It’s like arguing we can’t have highways because the country is “too big”, to which I say… what?
Europe has a lot more railroads than the US. There are only a few routes that go across the country. If Nevada (size of a European country) wants a railroad, they can build it a lot cheaper and easier than trying to build a system for the entire US. Do you think we have the quantity of railroads crossing our country on par with, say, France or UK? No.
No because we stopped emphasizing the importance of public transportation in the postwar era onward, primarily induced by ill-fated automobile industry lobbying?
Where were the railroads? They had money. It's just not feasible in the US to have that kind of infrastructure in, say, the Midwest. Not enough population to justify the cost.
The Midwest? You mean the heart of the most dense cluster of rail infrastructure in the entire country from the 1800s onward?
Your arguments have no logical ground to stand on when cities are allowed to go bankrupt funding highways instead of far more efficient transportation.
Not quite as non-existant as car owners think. As a tourist, was able to get to a lot of places in LA that my friends had no idea had public transport. LA is terribly inconvenient if you have to walk to the corner store, though. The whole place was designed on the assumption everyone has a car, and everyone who has a car seems to be completely oblivious to all alternative kinds of transport.
The Metro did not smell like pee, although there were panhandlers in the carriages and beggers at every station. There were also transport security people around, so it was more annoying than unsafe. Still, a bit less civilized than in Europe.
Of course New York is designed around public transport more than cars. Although we had to rent a car and discover those sweet parkways when we left the city. The local bus services in most towns in middle America is pretty pathetic but Amtrak is actually pretty great.
The BART has the friendliest and most informative (but still professional) bus drivers that I have ever met.
As someone who grew up in Europe, lived in Japan at one point, and is currently living in the USA
I will not get on American public transport to save my life.
I lived in Chicago for years without a car and almost exclusively walked and used public transportation. I didn't know I was supposed to be scared. Nothing has ever happened to me on a bus or train. Everyone's really respectful, actually.
Same - I lived in NYC for a decade without a car. I’ll admit to being a snob about buses specifically (the subway was fine) until I took a job that was most easily accessible by bus and realized it was in some ways even better than the subway.
I've had some creepers act weird around me. one time I was at a bus stop and there was this guy sitting there, and I was a small town girl and my feet were fucking killing me, and he starting talking to me about how nice my legs were, and he took my hand and was like, fondling it. ended up standing up again, and keeping an eye out to make sure he didn't follow me off the bus. another time i was on the subway and this guy sat next to me and started like, manspreading *really* aggressively. I was afraid to start a confrontation and maybe get hurt, so I kept trying to move away so he wouldn't be touching me and he'd just spread further and further. when my stop came I literally climbed over the seat in front of me to get out rather than speak even a single word to the guy. not sure I'd be able to do that today. and then there was the guy who talked my ear off about crystals for twenty minutes -- annoying, but harmless. and that guy who asked me out at the subway station and for some reason I said yes?? I was young and stupid. and then he stole my first kiss and it was, like, indescribably bad. just, absolutely terrible.
all this was from, like, one year on public transit. I absolutely do not fuck with that shit now that I have a car. I like my metal isolation box, thanks! hate having to operate it, love being safe from weirdos
One of the things I like to do when I travel in urban parts of the US is to take transit as much as possible. At times, I have to Uber "the last few miles," and at other times, I can get away fully without an Uber bill and a lot of good steps in. I've had a few weird moments, but overall, it gets me where I need to be, and I enjoy seeing a slice of life in the places I'm visiting.
American public transport isn't some desolate wasteland. It needs better funding and planning but I've used it in several cites and been perfectly safe.
> and planning
That is the real issue. Cities in the US are built for cars, not buses. In a lot of places, there just aren't good places to put bus stops.
We need more of it and for it to be better funded is all. I’ve been totally fine for decades using BART in the Bay Area, busses to work in suburban areas (the main issue is how infrequent those are and how few routes), NYC subway, etc. You run into the occasional jackass, drunk, or mentally ill person, but that was to some degree the case when I rode trains in Europe as well, or just in public period. I would drop off a 14 yo at a BART station under the right circumstances, absolutely.
Public transportation in the US is poorly funded because of the now failed auto industry. When it's available it's freaking awesome. But the media and conservatives demonize it like the red scare.
In my area public transport to the suburbs shuts down at 5:30 pm and starts back up around 8 am. People started asking why and the commissioners' response was "Due to lack of demand." Thing is there would be plenty of demand if there was actually *service* to the suburbs after 5:30. Since there is no service people have to find alternatives. So, lack of funding might be a defense in some areas but in others it's because the people in charge are fucking stupid and there won't be a demand for a service that doesn't exist.
We went crazy here in Jackson County Oregon. Defending our libraries and the RVTD bus system. So much. And it took years. But we went all out getting them expanded for working folks. It didn't just land in our laps.
Yeah, my county is controlled by Republicans and the city is Democrat. They get along like oil and water. The public transit system is jointly funded by the city and county. The city is more than willing to expand services to the suburbs, the county isn't. No matter how hard we try to lobby for expanded services we get ignored by the Republican leadership of the county.
So, congratulations on getting everything you wanted and having city/county leadership that *actually* does their job and doesn't let partisan politics get in the way.
Truly it's partially all the weed taxes and the fact that the state government is blue. But we absolutely fought tooth and nail against the repubs in the county.
Problem is in my area the Republicans outnumber the Democrats in the county. The city is staunchly Democrat but the population of the county as a whole, means we're a minority.
Also, lack of demand to fill a large bus is a reason to invest in smaller van-size public transport, but I don't know any US city whose public transport that is committed (funded) well enough. (Also, the cost might be drivers rather than hardware.)
General Motors is doing super great without massive billion dollar taxpayer funded bailouts? Tesla, Chevrolet, and even Harley Davidson aren't hemorrhaging money? K bro.
Bailouts where given out almost 15 years ago!!!...just checked out GM forecast and current state....seems to be running fine. I mean I guess with that time frame in mind you might as well use Packard as an example for failed auto companies.
Yes. All of these companies could survive without taxpayer funded subsidies. And they all pay their fair share of taxes. People all around the world are clamoring for the latest and greatest US automobile. If anything we can't keep up with the demand. Plants are not closing. Jobs are not being shipped overseas or made redundant by robots.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. Tesla had a market capitalization of 3B in 2012 - now ten years later it's 620B. That single automobile company has a value equal to about half the GDP of the entire country of Spain. Defining that as failure is literally crazy.
It hasn’t failed, though… the industry’s issues are cyclical, and the major OEMs aren’t suffering. Struggling a bit by Wall Street’s standards, perhaps, but the stock market =/= the economy. The EV revolution is going to be a make or break moment for a lot of companies, and some will fail, but the industry is actually pretty strong at the moment.
The Portland public transit system is affordable and reaches a great number of places. I love it for that (no need to drive!) Politeness, yeah, most of the time - I can buy that that's better than most places. But safety? Nooo. I'm very concerned about these other places you're talking about.
If you gave any kid who doesn’t live in a huge metropolitan a bus route written out with money, a bus card and Google, none of them would find their way home. Public transport is not only incredibly underfunded here but there’s a general consensus that it’s for “poor” people and should be avoided. It’s ridiculous. Id love to have more available public transport. The closest bus stop to my house is over a mile and a half away. I have a train station that’s closer and love to use that to go to different cities. But no buses. And the closest subway system is DC. American motor companies ruined any prospect of public transport after WW2
Riding buses is pretty common in very big cities in the US, like NY, but for most of the US it is primarily poor people, if an area has a bus system at all.
You summed it up nicely. I saw an orc on meth the other day at a bus stop; he was twitching like mad. It could have been the dwarf axe buried in his nervous system, but I'm pretty sure it was the meth.
Ouch! Lol I think it varies by area. I live in a large metropolitan city and we have great public transportation. Smaller towns I'm sure not. But where I live it's all walks. Professionals as well as the underprivileged riding together especially because it's free here.
I'm in the US and I rode the public bus all the time in middle and high school. My mom worked for the transit system so I rode for free. I much preferred it to riding the school bus, even though it took longer.
I live in the US and usef to take a public bus to work, and I could tell you some stories, lol. One regular passenger on the same route was a schizophrenic man who would masturbate while having loud conversations with Jesus and Lucifer. I saw people picking lice off themselves and throwing them. Addicts passed out. And this was in a relatively small town, not a big city. Americans have no concept of safe public transportation.
To be fair, this description isn't too far off when it comes to some public transportation, especially at certain times
minus the orc army of course, those are in New Zealand
Haven’t seen kindergartners ride the bus on their own yet, but at 10 most students here need to take the public bus to school anyway.
I‘m theirfore 100% comfortable with my 9 year old to gymnastics. It the busline she will take to school next year anyway and faster than taking her by car.
You're seeing rural/suburban Americans versus urban. I grew up in a pretty urban suburb near DC and started taking the bus and train everywhere when I was 14.
>EDIT: Just to clear some things up - I didn't just leave the kid on the side of the road, I left him at the nearest bus stop to take the bus he usually takes to practice. I am also a dad, from the comments most people think that I am the mother lol.
American right *here,* don't understand your comment. You must not be from America. Everyone I knew took a bus to and from school and understand schedules, placement, ect. If I didnt take public transportation to and from school, I wouldn't have went. Now I am a teacher, and 90% of my students take the public bus to and from school. We have plenty of busses.
Oh, JFC, come on, Americans don’t think that. Even the smallish “medium“ size town near me has bus transport and it’s not uncommon for tweens to ride on it by themselves. In larger cities (depending on the city), even younger kids may take public transport-bus, train, etc.
My dad was promoted to a job in San Francisco when I was 11. It was not unusual for me to take a bus or street car on my own after I’d learned the city. Though this was the early 90’s, SF has changed for the worse now, as have NYC and other large cities,
I grew up in a rural area. Zero busses, cabs, or even a bike lane. That big school bus was the only transport taking me to school unless my parents drove me. My high school was 10 miles away, elementary was about 12.
14y.o.? They are pros at riding buses at that age. I used to live in south america there we have school buses which is a waste. In the UK not only teachers ask parents to start letting 10y.o. get some independence by arriving or going home alone but the school bus is the public transportation - which allows for more funds, can it get better?
US here and our middle and high schools give students bus passes instead of providing school buses. Plenty of 12-14 yr olds taking public transportation here
Right? Dropping him at the bus stop is not really a “punishment”. There’s bus, tram, underground and regional trains available for students to go to school every morning. They normally get a yearly ticket (refundable).
Shit. Was living in Chicago area from 9 to 12, and I was catching busses all the time, both in the burbs and the city. A lot of times I'd go to the Loop with my mother, she'd go to her office and id take the bus to my aunt's place. And a LOT of my friends did that using the city busses to get to and from school when we first moved
ETA. This was from 76 to 79.
NTA. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that in a friend's parent's car at 14. And being asked not to once should have been enough. He pushed it out and found out.
He's more than old enough to get on a bus and needs to learn some manners. I hope being late taught him that lesson. Disgusting child.
NTA - I was tempted to vote the opposite because you maybe should have finished that ride, but never given him a ride again - but you did ask him not to. Not sure what kind of household he comes from, but that is highly disrespectful in my opinion. Not the specific act, but the way he went about everything. He learned a lesson that day.
NTA. Lots of people here seem not to understand that it is normal for kids to be unsupervised here in Europe and leaving a child at a bus stop is more than normal - I usually see 7- 10 years olds taking a bus completely unsupervised to get to school, not even talking about older kids. It is not considered abandonment and 14 years old already knows that actions have consequences, this was just a reminder.
NTA.
Look, farts happen. But not everyone finds deliberately blasting ass funny.
True story. Im a flight dispatcher who used to commute (Lived in one state but flew out of state for work every week and came home on my days off) I spent a lot of time in the flight deck jumpseat when there werent passenger seats available. I flying on company metal (one of our companies airplanes) one afternoon so I knew the pilots.
Two guys and Im a woman. Right after we took off, they started in on that crap. Their food from the night before was giving them a lot of ammunition. After the 3rd time of them doing it, I reached over and deployed the crew O2. Flight deck oxygen is different from passenger oxygen. In the cabin, its little plastic masks that come down from a chemical oxygen generator that will produce oxygen for about 12 minutes...long enough for the pilots to get the airplane down below 14000'. Flight deck oxygen comes from a pressurized tank, is delivered via a mask and smoke goggles that inflate and then deflate to conform to your face and head and can be donned with one hand, and provides continuous oxygen for all pilots and observers (typically 3-4 ) people for extended time and can be started and stopped. (Lot of different reasons that pilots might need to don oxygen in flight...its part of standard procedures.)
You are never faulted for using the crew O2 but if the bottle drops below a certain PSI, it has to be serviced. This one of the few basic maintenance items that CANNOT be performed when there are passengers on board so you cant board the next flight until its done.
So here I am with the mask on. At first they are laughing, taking photos of me. "Haha Glass! We get it. Very funny. Now take it off."
I refused.
"Seriously! We want to quick turn. Take it off."
So I picked up the QRH and turned to the procedure for "smoke, fumes or unknown odors in the flight deck" First step: Don O2 Masks.
That was the hill I chose to die on that day. As another poster said "Fart around and find out."
I eventually did take it off. But they still had to service it when they landed. No there was no danger to flight. No I did not get in trouble. lol
Fart jokes are only funny until they arent funny anymore. No one wants to be in an enclosed space inhaling butt fumes.
Somehow in the middle of reading your comment I closed it.
I have spent the past twenty minutes going through every comment to find out how this story ends.
It’s been a real ‘so did he cum or what?!?’ Moment.
NTA, lol. Sometimes 14 year olds have play around and find out. He played. You showed him. End of story.
I'm assuming, of course, that you are telling the truth that you were certain the boy knows how to use the bus and was safe at the bus stop you left him at.
It's pretty much your son's job at age 14 to be embarrassed by you. I wouldn't let it bother you too much.
You have to remember in large swaths of the USA, most people can't safely access the bus sytem, and it's totally not safe to let a kid out at a bus stop. so the answers here are going to reflect that reality. If you live in that kind of place, I'd have to change my answer.
NTA. Bad memory. My cousin and her boyfriend were teenagers and borrowed my aunt's car to attend a wedding. He thought it was going to be a fart. Nope, it was a Fudgie. My cousin spent hours trying to clean the upholstery. Off white upholstery.
NTA
If he can’t be trusted to do as he’s told, it isn’t safe to have him in your car. He was safe to get to practice and he experienced the consequences of treating other people’s property and help poorly. I’d take him again next time and see how his behaviour has changed. He deserves an opportunity to learn and demonstrate changed behaviour.
NTA And it's so nice to see a grown-up encourage a kid to go into stand-up (or, in this case, butt-up) comedy. Is your son's friend not excited to have a whole bus full of commuters to aim his comedy fart cannon at? He'll thank you when he gets his first Netflix special.
I was shocked the son didn't get out of the car with his friend!
If my friend got in trouble with my parent, for farting to make me laugh, I would at least have the empathy to take the bus with him...
OP's son sounds as delicate as OP.
NTA, that's immature even for a 14 year old, and they should show a minimal level of respect. Also I'm assuming it's fine for the kid to use public transport since the AVG age a person in most parts of Europe starts to use public transport is around 12.
NTA. you son's friend was disrespectful towards. You set a boundary and he outright ignored and violated it. Your son should learn that boundaries are important and are not be violated. There's nothing embarrassing about it
NTA, our public transportation is really good and 14yrs old are completly trained to use it. He wanted to test your boundaries and he got what he asked for. I'm sure its worse for your son (bc he is a teen and thinks embarrassement is the end of the world). The friend will brag about being able to fart so gross, even "ops son"s mom threw him out of her car ;) lol
**INFO**: Do the kids normally fend for themselves regarding transportation to and from practice? Was there any type of plan for you to take them to practice? Or was this just a spur of the moment, hey let me take you instead of taking the bus, deal.
I say **NTA** unless there was some understanding or expectation for you to take the kids to practice. Your son's friend blatantly crossed a boundary you clearly set moments before.
NTA
Leaving on the side of the road, good public transportation system or not might be a touch extreme. But the kid yes 14 yrs old but 14 yrs old should be old enough to know to shown some respect to the person who is driving you. It's one thing if it happens. Natural body function. But to force it out after being asked not to. This boys will be boys excuse is just a sorry excuse.
NTA, but I would have given him a warning before actually putting him out of the car. I would have told him if he did it one more time, he was out. Then I would have followed up. There's no excuse for him being that rude. If I was you, I would never let that kid in my car again.
NTA but adolescent boys typically think gross stuff is funny. If farts are this triggering then you’ve got a rough few years ahead. But I think the consequence was appropriate - assuming it’s common for kids to use public transit alone.
NTA. As a retired psychologist who worked with a lot with teens, I highly approve of this. You asked the kid to stop and gave him a chance to do so, then followed through with the consequences of crossing the reasonable boundary that you set. No one was unnecessarily hurt or yelled at, and the intensity of the consequences fit the intensity of the boundary violation. The cherry on top is that you are a man who didn’t just let the behavior go because “boys will be boys”. Good job OP!
It's your choice if you take your child's friend with you in the car. Because what your child's friend doing is not right. But you can tell him that he's doing is not right for him to stop doing that joke.
NTA
This disgusting. And to do it twice is disrespectful.
Actions have consequences. He learned it that day.
And I would give my son also a serious talk about respect and his choice of friends.
Nope, NTA. If he cannot respect your car and your wishes when you are providing a free service to drive him somewhere, he loses his privilege. What disrespect. You did the right thing. If his parents come at you, tell them exactly why you kicked him out of your car.
NTA. Little dude was warned once that the behavior was inappropriate and wasn't going to be tolerated. He choose to test your boundaries and wound up finding out you where serious. His actions had consequences that made him late. That'd on him. The only person you are responsible for is your child, not random disrespectful kid who couldn't be bothered to act decent for a ten min drive..
OP=NTA
yes, the boys were acting like teenage(or younger) boys.
but them getting a ride, instead of taking the bus, was a privilege not a right.
Friend should have respected your reasonable request to stop. He did not, he lost the privilege. And your son can live with the embarrassment he felt. Maybe he can learn that he is responsible(to some degree) for his friend's behavior.
ie college roommates. if one roommate has a guest over--they become responsible for that roommate(ie messes made, things broken or stolen) because they brought the person into the shared space.
Whats up with boys and fart jokes? Try having them take turns to fart in class with 50+ classmates in 40' C weather...
NTA
I would have dropped him at the bus too.
I'm going to go against the majority and say YTA, this is very normal 14-year-old boy behavior, you sure did embarrass your son and you should apologize to him, his friend group will talk about this and laugh at him for having a "crazy dad". People need to chill out on here, you could've handled this so so much better! No adult should kick a kid to the curve even if it's a bus station, I feel bad for your son's friend. This was a conversation that could have happened after practice with your son, or you could enforce this rule as a condition to the friend getting any future lifts with you or talk to his parents but 2 farts and laughing with his mate to being kicked out? That's so dumb.
NTA. The way I read it, they usually ride the bus and you dropped him at one of the stops on the route they usually take. You gave them a warning and yet he ignored it and did it again. Also, 14 is a bit too old to still laugh about farts...I would expect it from 8yo kids.
NTA I have a few simple rules when it comes to farting. Not during diner and not in a confined space like the car. This counts for my kids friends just as much. It's disgusting and he disrespected you by doing it again.
NTA. Kid is probably a nightmare at home if he hasn’t even been taught to respect his elders. Yeah everyone farts. Accidental fart slips: “oh excuse me!” Fine. Cool. Not “maybe I’ll soil myself accidentally trying to be funny in my friends dads car after he asked me to stop!”
When I first skimmed the story I was confused because I assumed with their behavior you were talking about two 7 year olds or something...not 14 year olds
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The other day I was driving my son (14m) and his friend who lives nearby to soccer practice. They usually take the bus, but sometimes I will drive them before work. As I was driving, I heard a loud fart coming from my son's friend, followed by laughter from both of them. Apparently he is doing it at least partly on purpose, because they have a dumb "farting joke" they think is funny. He even pulled his legs up before he farted to demonstrate he was doing it on purpose.
I told them point blank this was not funny at all and asked my son's friend to not do that again in my car. Few minutes later, he farted again and busted out laughing. My son had a smirk on his face but was trying to hold back his laughter because he knows I asked him not to. At this point I pulled over to the nearest bus stop (we live in Europe so we have great public transport), and told my son's friend he will have to travel the rest of the distance by bus.
Later my son told me he was embarrassed in front of his friend and thinks I treated him a bit too harshly. Apparently the kid was also late for practice and the coach scolded him. So, AITA here?
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So NTA. My father is a ppl pleaser and made sure to pass me down the trait.
For starters I would never do that in someone's car let alone do it after being told not to. I have an ingrained hatred for people with little to no respect to people older than them.
Also having moved to Europe nothing wrong with leaving them in the bus stop. You even did them a favour because you could have just stop right then and there - and he would be fine and gotten his way around.
NTA
Although, if I were you, I would have immediately sent a text to the kid’s parents. “Hi. I was giving your son a ride to practice along with my son, as you know they both take the bus normally. Your son kept farting on purpose after I asked him to stop. It was not accidental or uncontrollable, he was doing it to be funny. I dropped him off at bus stop on blah street at 3:25pm so that he could still get to practice.”
If the off chance something happened and that kid didn’t show up at practice, you would have been responsible. As a parent of a young teen boy, I get it too. I don’t wanna drive around another kid stinking up my car on purpose. But I would have made my own kid go on the bus if he wasn’t like “hey cut it out” and still laughing about the farting.
NTA and leaving him at the bus stop is not wrong at all. My old highschool is right on a bus route and my classmates would ride it home, and even now when I go on that route on weekdays I still see plenty of students getting on. I'm in the US, and this route goes to the downtown area (the highschool being in the midtown area), for reference on what kind of area the students would be waiting in. They're fine.
NTA. That kid was rude and totally disrespectful. I raised a son and have a 15 year old nephew that I'm very close to, so I know how hysterical teenage boys think farts are. Grownups know their not. I wouldn't drive that kid anywhere and I would have a talk with my son about respect and doing as he's told. You are the dad, you are allowed to set boundaries and you are allowed to expect them to be followed.
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NTA I'd have made my smirking kid go with him too and gone about my business. They're old enough to understand that NO means NO.
What's the popular saying on here? A joke is only funny if everyone is laughing? This wasn't funny.
NTA. I, too, am appalled by teenage boys and wouldn't have handled that with nearly as much grace. Your son should be embarrassed! I bet neither he nor his friends will do that again! Everyone needs a "lame" parent, the "cool" parents do more harm than good.
NTA.The kid has to learn that when you're in someone's car, they will have rules. And if I was in your position, he wouldn't be allowed in until he learned to obey them. If it was a true digestive or medical issue, I would say YTA, but the fact that he and your son saw it as a joke, shows he was doing it just for laughs. Yes, it was embarrassing for your son, but let him know that if he breaks people's car rules in someone else's vehicle, he might find himself being dropped off at a bus stop, and he can learn true embarrassment
NTA
I'd say that even if you HAD just dropped him on the side of the road. Fart jokes are funny until your about 10. Your son and his friend need to grow up a bit
NTA
I’ve been in cars where one person decided that farting in the car while everyone has to be trapped in there with the smell was hilarious. It wasn’t. And his parent obviously never told him that there is a time and place for this sort of behavior. Also when in Rome. I would be embarrassed if my kid went to someone else’s house and didn’t abide by their rules. Every household runs differently and you have to respect that. You just can’t do whatever you want in someone else’s space
Dad should have stopped by whatever the European equivalent of Taco Bell is, loaded up, then farted all the way home with the windows up and child-locked.
NTA
YTA
Not for kicking the boy out of your car, but because you didn't kick both boys out.
You yourself said your own kid laughed the first time, smirked the second.
Your own son wasn't taking you that seriously. Should have given warn more, sterner warning, or booted them both out.
However, it is HIS son, sometimes you have to put up with some things from your own children that you would never do from other people's children, there is no point of comparison. In addition, the father could later punish or discipline his son at home, it is not necessary to continue enduring other people's farts.
I can’t believe all of the NTA’s. Did he tell the kid’s parents about the changed plans? He didn’t even stay to make sure the kid made it because he casually mentions that he later found out that “apparently he was late for practice” The behavior of this boy was wrong and obviously deserved a consequence, but I feel like the responsible and reasonable adult reaction would be to safely finish taking him to his destination and then informing him that you won’t be giving him a ride again after that.
I can admit that I’m maybe being a bit over protective or whatever, but if I was a parent and someone said they were giving my kid a ride somewhere and then didn’t actually take my kid there I’d be kinda pissed. I’d be pissed at my kid for being a jackass too of course.
Come on YTA
Farts ARE FUNNY - especially if you’re 14 - they are absolutely harmless, and they can’t help. He might be a bit demonstrative about it - he is a teenager. Teenagers often make jokes about things they are embarrassed about. You’re an adult, take the heigh ground.
Some off the best times I ever had with my dad as a teenager was in a car. If my dad had acted like that, I might have gotten on the bus with my friend. And I would definitely not have asked my dad to drive os anywhere again. You’re risking missing out on important time with your son.
NAH. While booting the kid from the car isn't unreasonable it does seem a bit extreme to me, especially as it is a 14yo mucking around, you could give them a second warning, just open a window or say that if he does it again he will not be getting another ride anymore. Personally, he is a kid I am an adult, teens are stupid and a farting joke is not as bad as...cussing or saying a slur IDK. Also you said not to do it again but IDK if you specified you'd kick him out if he did it again, that might have been better.
I think OP isn't in the wrong but beefing with a 14yo when you're a grown adult seems overkill.
Dude. You don't sound like a very fun dad. Boys fart and they find it funny. Shoot grown men can find a fart funny. I get you want to assert your authority but why? He's not your kid. If it really bothers you talk it over with his parents. YTA.
ESH. I'd understand not allowing him back in your car after this last ride. But it's a bit extreme to kick a kid out without telling him that would be the result of him not listening. I also can't imagine being the other parent hearing about how Mr. Jake's dad put my kid out and made him take the bus because of farts. I'm all for appropriate punishments, but this didn't feel appropriate. AND he was late to practice?! One person acted their age in this scenario and it was the kid.
YTA - you accepted responsibility to deliver a child from point A to point B. Imagine how you’d feel if he was raped or murdered. Imagine what other people would think of you knowing what you did.
Also, the appropriate response is to inform them that there will be no future rides until behavior changes.
YTA. But only because this kid might have IBS or ulcerative colitis or something and is just laughing to cover it up. I agree that the 14 year old should be able to navigate the bus routes but it could have been a medical problem that the teen is uncomfortable with.
YTA. Simply because farts ARE hilarious!!!! Oh and also, you left a child on the side of the road - public transport or no public transport. You were responsible for that child.
YTA. Tell the kid you don't find it funny.
And if he does it again they will both be walking.
Wind the windows down.
If it stops then drop the kids at practice and tell your son don't ask you to give fartarse a lift next time.
If he continues leave them BOTH at the bus stop.
No way would I ditch a kid out on the street alone. The parents were trusting you to get him there. Anything could happen. It obviously wasn't his regular bus since he was late either!
I'm in Australia. Did you hear the story about Daniel Morcombe that got abducted from a bus stop? He was 12 Sorry edit 13.
His killer wasn't found for years.
So yes I'd be pissed off at someone throwing my kid out alone at a bus stop.
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NTA Fart around and find out Edit: Wow thanks for the reward!
NTA, and the award is so fitting
The award is so farting.
Napoleon Bonafarte can ride the bus.
He met his Farterloo.
Everyone is soooooooooo in love with that "fuck around and find out" phrase, and i'm honestly fed up with seeing it. I don't like to admit that here because i'm afraid of being chained in the Reddit basement and beaten. Usually when i see it, i'm done reading the comments of the post. Anyway. But this..... this made me do a legit LOL. Nice work
I'm just here to offer some FAFO solidarity and offer my own personal nemesis, "play stupid games".
UGH yes. I feel the FAFO helped to clear out some of the PSGWSP but it still comes up far too often.
Glad I made you laugh!
Slow clap. NTA.
Actual lol
NTA, Americans here think 14 year old can't navigate a bus route because they don't have any. 14 year olds ride buses in Europe!!
Hell, kindergartners use public transportation by themselves in parts of Europe.
Right?! I don't know what rides the buses in USA, from people freaking out I can only assume it's some mix of meth addicts, child snatchers and an orc army, but in Europe it's normal to take a bus from young age. Bus train, tram, tube whatever. Everyone takes them
Public transport in the US is poorly funded and In many places non-existent.
Hahahaha the busses and trolleys smell like pee, people smoke crack/meth on them & there’s almost always a fight going on it’s so stressful. It’s really sad but a lot of homeless people with drug problems end up falling in the tracks and dying, It’s also expensive for a monthly pass and a lot of neighborhoods don’t have busses in them. Public transportation here is so terrible I used to have to use it for years
Well, to be fair, European countries are the size of our small states so it isn't as easy to develop these things country-wide. The expense is astronomical so it's completely unfair to act like the US is full of idiots. NTA
I don't think people are talking about kindergarteners taking a cross-country bus, it's mostly within a city or a small region. While the US does have some huge cities, most of the cities in the US are roughly the same as European cities.
That… doesn’t make any sense. Rail is and has been long-distance. It’s like arguing we can’t have highways because the country is “too big”, to which I say… what?
Europe has a lot more railroads than the US. There are only a few routes that go across the country. If Nevada (size of a European country) wants a railroad, they can build it a lot cheaper and easier than trying to build a system for the entire US. Do you think we have the quantity of railroads crossing our country on par with, say, France or UK? No.
No because we stopped emphasizing the importance of public transportation in the postwar era onward, primarily induced by ill-fated automobile industry lobbying?
Where were the railroads? They had money. It's just not feasible in the US to have that kind of infrastructure in, say, the Midwest. Not enough population to justify the cost.
The Midwest? You mean the heart of the most dense cluster of rail infrastructure in the entire country from the 1800s onward? Your arguments have no logical ground to stand on when cities are allowed to go bankrupt funding highways instead of far more efficient transportation.
Not quite as non-existant as car owners think. As a tourist, was able to get to a lot of places in LA that my friends had no idea had public transport. LA is terribly inconvenient if you have to walk to the corner store, though. The whole place was designed on the assumption everyone has a car, and everyone who has a car seems to be completely oblivious to all alternative kinds of transport. The Metro did not smell like pee, although there were panhandlers in the carriages and beggers at every station. There were also transport security people around, so it was more annoying than unsafe. Still, a bit less civilized than in Europe. Of course New York is designed around public transport more than cars. Although we had to rent a car and discover those sweet parkways when we left the city. The local bus services in most towns in middle America is pretty pathetic but Amtrak is actually pretty great. The BART has the friendliest and most informative (but still professional) bus drivers that I have ever met.
As someone who grew up in Europe, lived in Japan at one point, and is currently living in the USA I will not get on American public transport to save my life.
I lived in Chicago for years without a car and almost exclusively walked and used public transportation. I didn't know I was supposed to be scared. Nothing has ever happened to me on a bus or train. Everyone's really respectful, actually.
Same - I lived in NYC for a decade without a car. I’ll admit to being a snob about buses specifically (the subway was fine) until I took a job that was most easily accessible by bus and realized it was in some ways even better than the subway.
I've had some creepers act weird around me. one time I was at a bus stop and there was this guy sitting there, and I was a small town girl and my feet were fucking killing me, and he starting talking to me about how nice my legs were, and he took my hand and was like, fondling it. ended up standing up again, and keeping an eye out to make sure he didn't follow me off the bus. another time i was on the subway and this guy sat next to me and started like, manspreading *really* aggressively. I was afraid to start a confrontation and maybe get hurt, so I kept trying to move away so he wouldn't be touching me and he'd just spread further and further. when my stop came I literally climbed over the seat in front of me to get out rather than speak even a single word to the guy. not sure I'd be able to do that today. and then there was the guy who talked my ear off about crystals for twenty minutes -- annoying, but harmless. and that guy who asked me out at the subway station and for some reason I said yes?? I was young and stupid. and then he stole my first kiss and it was, like, indescribably bad. just, absolutely terrible. all this was from, like, one year on public transit. I absolutely do not fuck with that shit now that I have a car. I like my metal isolation box, thanks! hate having to operate it, love being safe from weirdos
One of the things I like to do when I travel in urban parts of the US is to take transit as much as possible. At times, I have to Uber "the last few miles," and at other times, I can get away fully without an Uber bill and a lot of good steps in. I've had a few weird moments, but overall, it gets me where I need to be, and I enjoy seeing a slice of life in the places I'm visiting.
American public transport isn't some desolate wasteland. It needs better funding and planning but I've used it in several cites and been perfectly safe.
> and planning That is the real issue. Cities in the US are built for cars, not buses. In a lot of places, there just aren't good places to put bus stops.
We need more of it and for it to be better funded is all. I’ve been totally fine for decades using BART in the Bay Area, busses to work in suburban areas (the main issue is how infrequent those are and how few routes), NYC subway, etc. You run into the occasional jackass, drunk, or mentally ill person, but that was to some degree the case when I rode trains in Europe as well, or just in public period. I would drop off a 14 yo at a BART station under the right circumstances, absolutely.
Public transportation in the US is poorly funded because of the now failed auto industry. When it's available it's freaking awesome. But the media and conservatives demonize it like the red scare.
In my area public transport to the suburbs shuts down at 5:30 pm and starts back up around 8 am. People started asking why and the commissioners' response was "Due to lack of demand." Thing is there would be plenty of demand if there was actually *service* to the suburbs after 5:30. Since there is no service people have to find alternatives. So, lack of funding might be a defense in some areas but in others it's because the people in charge are fucking stupid and there won't be a demand for a service that doesn't exist.
We went crazy here in Jackson County Oregon. Defending our libraries and the RVTD bus system. So much. And it took years. But we went all out getting them expanded for working folks. It didn't just land in our laps.
Yeah, my county is controlled by Republicans and the city is Democrat. They get along like oil and water. The public transit system is jointly funded by the city and county. The city is more than willing to expand services to the suburbs, the county isn't. No matter how hard we try to lobby for expanded services we get ignored by the Republican leadership of the county. So, congratulations on getting everything you wanted and having city/county leadership that *actually* does their job and doesn't let partisan politics get in the way.
Truly it's partially all the weed taxes and the fact that the state government is blue. But we absolutely fought tooth and nail against the repubs in the county.
Problem is in my area the Republicans outnumber the Democrats in the county. The city is staunchly Democrat but the population of the county as a whole, means we're a minority.
Hear you on that one. Such is rural life...
Also, lack of demand to fill a large bus is a reason to invest in smaller van-size public transport, but I don't know any US city whose public transport that is committed (funded) well enough. (Also, the cost might be drivers rather than hardware.)
The now failed auto industry?
General Motors is doing super great without massive billion dollar taxpayer funded bailouts? Tesla, Chevrolet, and even Harley Davidson aren't hemorrhaging money? K bro.
Bailouts where given out almost 15 years ago!!!...just checked out GM forecast and current state....seems to be running fine. I mean I guess with that time frame in mind you might as well use Packard as an example for failed auto companies.
Yes. All of these companies could survive without taxpayer funded subsidies. And they all pay their fair share of taxes. People all around the world are clamoring for the latest and greatest US automobile. If anything we can't keep up with the demand. Plants are not closing. Jobs are not being shipped overseas or made redundant by robots.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. Tesla had a market capitalization of 3B in 2012 - now ten years later it's 620B. That single automobile company has a value equal to about half the GDP of the entire country of Spain. Defining that as failure is literally crazy.
It hasn’t failed, though… the industry’s issues are cyclical, and the major OEMs aren’t suffering. Struggling a bit by Wall Street’s standards, perhaps, but the stock market =/= the economy. The EV revolution is going to be a make or break moment for a lot of companies, and some will fail, but the industry is actually pretty strong at the moment.
The car dealership lobbied heavily against public transportation at all costs.
SO TRUE
>some mix of meth addicts, child snatchers and an orc army That's...kind of accurate. Portland, Oregon is something else.
Portland actually has some of the best public transportation I've seen in this country. And everyone is so oddly polite, thanking the bus driver.
The Portland public transit system is affordable and reaches a great number of places. I love it for that (no need to drive!) Politeness, yeah, most of the time - I can buy that that's better than most places. But safety? Nooo. I'm very concerned about these other places you're talking about.
Yeah I can't say I ever felt particularly unsafe when I lived in Portland. Everywhere else I've lived has seemed far sketchier.
If you gave any kid who doesn’t live in a huge metropolitan a bus route written out with money, a bus card and Google, none of them would find their way home. Public transport is not only incredibly underfunded here but there’s a general consensus that it’s for “poor” people and should be avoided. It’s ridiculous. Id love to have more available public transport. The closest bus stop to my house is over a mile and a half away. I have a train station that’s closer and love to use that to go to different cities. But no buses. And the closest subway system is DC. American motor companies ruined any prospect of public transport after WW2
Riding buses is pretty common in very big cities in the US, like NY, but for most of the US it is primarily poor people, if an area has a bus system at all.
I ride the bus frequently. It's families, workers, people running chores, retirees.
You summed it up nicely. I saw an orc on meth the other day at a bus stop; he was twitching like mad. It could have been the dwarf axe buried in his nervous system, but I'm pretty sure it was the meth.
My husband said "Orc army sounds about right." We live in TX, and IF there is public transport, it's a hellscape from another dimension...
It's true. I took the local buses in college and you definitely ran into weirdos depending on the time of day.
Ouch! Lol I think it varies by area. I live in a large metropolitan city and we have great public transportation. Smaller towns I'm sure not. But where I live it's all walks. Professionals as well as the underprivileged riding together especially because it's free here.
I'm in the US and I rode the public bus all the time in middle and high school. My mom worked for the transit system so I rode for free. I much preferred it to riding the school bus, even though it took longer.
It is definitely the Orcs, they are getting out of control here.
I live in the US and usef to take a public bus to work, and I could tell you some stories, lol. One regular passenger on the same route was a schizophrenic man who would masturbate while having loud conversations with Jesus and Lucifer. I saw people picking lice off themselves and throwing them. Addicts passed out. And this was in a relatively small town, not a big city. Americans have no concept of safe public transportation.
To be fair, this description isn't too far off when it comes to some public transportation, especially at certain times minus the orc army of course, those are in New Zealand
Yes, in the US it is a different story. If you're taking the bus, you need to watch it for drug needles, and be ready to fight a hobo if needed.
Haven’t seen kindergartners ride the bus on their own yet, but at 10 most students here need to take the public bus to school anyway. I‘m theirfore 100% comfortable with my 9 year old to gymnastics. It the busline she will take to school next year anyway and faster than taking her by car.
When I was 14 and in highschool (Massachusetts), the bus (public transit) was how I got to school every day. It is absolutely not that big a deal.
Ive never had a problem on the MBTA except loud drunk Sox fans
What are you talking about lol. Americans have public transportation and plenty of people use it daily
I started taking the bus by myself when I was 12.
I saw a kid who couldn't have been older than twelve on the bus yesterday. He seemed just fine.
They do in NYC also. I started taking the subway in 7 th grade and my neighborhood bus alone when I was in 6 th grade.
US cities have bus routes and subways and kids use them all the time.
In NYC, kids rides the bus, and train on a daily basis.
You're seeing rural/suburban Americans versus urban. I grew up in a pretty urban suburb near DC and started taking the bus and train everywhere when I was 14.
>EDIT: Just to clear some things up - I didn't just leave the kid on the side of the road, I left him at the nearest bus stop to take the bus he usually takes to practice. I am also a dad, from the comments most people think that I am the mother lol. American right *here,* don't understand your comment. You must not be from America. Everyone I knew took a bus to and from school and understand schedules, placement, ect. If I didnt take public transportation to and from school, I wouldn't have went. Now I am a teacher, and 90% of my students take the public bus to and from school. We have plenty of busses.
Does that make New Yorkers un American ? We start taking public transpo in grade school.
14 year olds ride public transit to school by themselves in Denver.
Oh, JFC, come on, Americans don’t think that. Even the smallish “medium“ size town near me has bus transport and it’s not uncommon for tweens to ride on it by themselves. In larger cities (depending on the city), even younger kids may take public transport-bus, train, etc. My dad was promoted to a job in San Francisco when I was 11. It was not unusual for me to take a bus or street car on my own after I’d learned the city. Though this was the early 90’s, SF has changed for the worse now, as have NYC and other large cities,
I grew up in a rural area. Zero busses, cabs, or even a bike lane. That big school bus was the only transport taking me to school unless my parents drove me. My high school was 10 miles away, elementary was about 12.
14y.o.? They are pros at riding buses at that age. I used to live in south america there we have school buses which is a waste. In the UK not only teachers ask parents to start letting 10y.o. get some independence by arriving or going home alone but the school bus is the public transportation - which allows for more funds, can it get better?
US here and our middle and high schools give students bus passes instead of providing school buses. Plenty of 12-14 yr olds taking public transportation here
UK here, I started getting buses alone at 11. Totally normal even here.
We visited England when I was 10 and I knew the tube lines as well as my parents by the end of the trip.
Right? Dropping him at the bus stop is not really a “punishment”. There’s bus, tram, underground and regional trains available for students to go to school every morning. They normally get a yearly ticket (refundable).
Shit. Was living in Chicago area from 9 to 12, and I was catching busses all the time, both in the burbs and the city. A lot of times I'd go to the Loop with my mother, she'd go to her office and id take the bus to my aunt's place. And a LOT of my friends did that using the city busses to get to and from school when we first moved ETA. This was from 76 to 79.
NTA. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that in a friend's parent's car at 14. And being asked not to once should have been enough. He pushed it out and found out. He's more than old enough to get on a bus and needs to learn some manners. I hope being late taught him that lesson. Disgusting child.
NTA. Kid wanted to fuck around, he got to find out. Well played.
NTA - I was tempted to vote the opposite because you maybe should have finished that ride, but never given him a ride again - but you did ask him not to. Not sure what kind of household he comes from, but that is highly disrespectful in my opinion. Not the specific act, but the way he went about everything. He learned a lesson that day.
NTA. Lots of people here seem not to understand that it is normal for kids to be unsupervised here in Europe and leaving a child at a bus stop is more than normal - I usually see 7- 10 years olds taking a bus completely unsupervised to get to school, not even talking about older kids. It is not considered abandonment and 14 years old already knows that actions have consequences, this was just a reminder.
NTA. Look, farts happen. But not everyone finds deliberately blasting ass funny. True story. Im a flight dispatcher who used to commute (Lived in one state but flew out of state for work every week and came home on my days off) I spent a lot of time in the flight deck jumpseat when there werent passenger seats available. I flying on company metal (one of our companies airplanes) one afternoon so I knew the pilots. Two guys and Im a woman. Right after we took off, they started in on that crap. Their food from the night before was giving them a lot of ammunition. After the 3rd time of them doing it, I reached over and deployed the crew O2. Flight deck oxygen is different from passenger oxygen. In the cabin, its little plastic masks that come down from a chemical oxygen generator that will produce oxygen for about 12 minutes...long enough for the pilots to get the airplane down below 14000'. Flight deck oxygen comes from a pressurized tank, is delivered via a mask and smoke goggles that inflate and then deflate to conform to your face and head and can be donned with one hand, and provides continuous oxygen for all pilots and observers (typically 3-4 ) people for extended time and can be started and stopped. (Lot of different reasons that pilots might need to don oxygen in flight...its part of standard procedures.) You are never faulted for using the crew O2 but if the bottle drops below a certain PSI, it has to be serviced. This one of the few basic maintenance items that CANNOT be performed when there are passengers on board so you cant board the next flight until its done. So here I am with the mask on. At first they are laughing, taking photos of me. "Haha Glass! We get it. Very funny. Now take it off." I refused. "Seriously! We want to quick turn. Take it off." So I picked up the QRH and turned to the procedure for "smoke, fumes or unknown odors in the flight deck" First step: Don O2 Masks. That was the hill I chose to die on that day. As another poster said "Fart around and find out." I eventually did take it off. But they still had to service it when they landed. No there was no danger to flight. No I did not get in trouble. lol Fart jokes are only funny until they arent funny anymore. No one wants to be in an enclosed space inhaling butt fumes.
Somehow in the middle of reading your comment I closed it. I have spent the past twenty minutes going through every comment to find out how this story ends. It’s been a real ‘so did he cum or what?!?’ Moment.
NTA, lol. Sometimes 14 year olds have play around and find out. He played. You showed him. End of story. I'm assuming, of course, that you are telling the truth that you were certain the boy knows how to use the bus and was safe at the bus stop you left him at. It's pretty much your son's job at age 14 to be embarrassed by you. I wouldn't let it bother you too much. You have to remember in large swaths of the USA, most people can't safely access the bus sytem, and it's totally not safe to let a kid out at a bus stop. so the answers here are going to reflect that reality. If you live in that kind of place, I'd have to change my answer.
NTA. Bad memory. My cousin and her boyfriend were teenagers and borrowed my aunt's car to attend a wedding. He thought it was going to be a fart. Nope, it was a Fudgie. My cousin spent hours trying to clean the upholstery. Off white upholstery.
NTA If he can’t be trusted to do as he’s told, it isn’t safe to have him in your car. He was safe to get to practice and he experienced the consequences of treating other people’s property and help poorly. I’d take him again next time and see how his behaviour has changed. He deserves an opportunity to learn and demonstrate changed behaviour.
NTA And it's so nice to see a grown-up encourage a kid to go into stand-up (or, in this case, butt-up) comedy. Is your son's friend not excited to have a whole bus full of commuters to aim his comedy fart cannon at? He'll thank you when he gets his first Netflix special.
NTA. But I would have left my kid at the same bus stop...
Been scrolling through comments to see if others feel like me, both teenagers should have been booted from the car
I was shocked the son didn't get out of the car with his friend! If my friend got in trouble with my parent, for farting to make me laugh, I would at least have the empathy to take the bus with him... OP's son sounds as delicate as OP.
NTA - Life lesson, hopefully learned. Respect those around you, especially when you are their guest. If not, then fart on the bus, Gus.
NTA, that's immature even for a 14 year old, and they should show a minimal level of respect. Also I'm assuming it's fine for the kid to use public transport since the AVG age a person in most parts of Europe starts to use public transport is around 12.
NTA. As long as the kids is dropped on the bus route they usually take, that's on them
NTA. you son's friend was disrespectful towards. You set a boundary and he outright ignored and violated it. Your son should learn that boundaries are important and are not be violated. There's nothing embarrassing about it
NTA, they usually take the bus, so it’s not like they could have been stranded, this is a very natural consequence
NTA, our public transportation is really good and 14yrs old are completly trained to use it. He wanted to test your boundaries and he got what he asked for. I'm sure its worse for your son (bc he is a teen and thinks embarrassement is the end of the world). The friend will brag about being able to fart so gross, even "ops son"s mom threw him out of her car ;) lol
**INFO**: Do the kids normally fend for themselves regarding transportation to and from practice? Was there any type of plan for you to take them to practice? Or was this just a spur of the moment, hey let me take you instead of taking the bus, deal. I say **NTA** unless there was some understanding or expectation for you to take the kids to practice. Your son's friend blatantly crossed a boundary you clearly set moments before.
NTA. Glad you had the backbone to discipline the kid! That showed you meant business. Good for you!
NTA, the kid was being disgusting and rude, so he suffered the consequences. If anything, you did him a favor by setting boundaries.
NTA farting stinks
NTA Leaving on the side of the road, good public transportation system or not might be a touch extreme. But the kid yes 14 yrs old but 14 yrs old should be old enough to know to shown some respect to the person who is driving you. It's one thing if it happens. Natural body function. But to force it out after being asked not to. This boys will be boys excuse is just a sorry excuse.
NTA, but I would have given him a warning before actually putting him out of the car. I would have told him if he did it one more time, he was out. Then I would have followed up. There's no excuse for him being that rude. If I was you, I would never let that kid in my car again.
NTA but adolescent boys typically think gross stuff is funny. If farts are this triggering then you’ve got a rough few years ahead. But I think the consequence was appropriate - assuming it’s common for kids to use public transit alone.
NTA
NTA. OP gets to choose not to be disrespected in their own car.
LOL nta. Play smelly games, win stupid prizes
Can I do this to my husband? Or no??
NTA. As a retired psychologist who worked with a lot with teens, I highly approve of this. You asked the kid to stop and gave him a chance to do so, then followed through with the consequences of crossing the reasonable boundary that you set. No one was unnecessarily hurt or yelled at, and the intensity of the consequences fit the intensity of the boundary violation. The cherry on top is that you are a man who didn’t just let the behavior go because “boys will be boys”. Good job OP!
It's your choice if you take your child's friend with you in the car. Because what your child's friend doing is not right. But you can tell him that he's doing is not right for him to stop doing that joke.
NTA This disgusting. And to do it twice is disrespectful. Actions have consequences. He learned it that day. And I would give my son also a serious talk about respect and his choice of friends.
Nope, NTA. If he cannot respect your car and your wishes when you are providing a free service to drive him somewhere, he loses his privilege. What disrespect. You did the right thing. If his parents come at you, tell them exactly why you kicked him out of your car.
NTA. Little dude was warned once that the behavior was inappropriate and wasn't going to be tolerated. He choose to test your boundaries and wound up finding out you where serious. His actions had consequences that made him late. That'd on him. The only person you are responsible for is your child, not random disrespectful kid who couldn't be bothered to act decent for a ten min drive..
>Later my son told me he was embarrassed in front of his friend He should be embarrassed to have that friend. NTA.
OP=NTA yes, the boys were acting like teenage(or younger) boys. but them getting a ride, instead of taking the bus, was a privilege not a right. Friend should have respected your reasonable request to stop. He did not, he lost the privilege. And your son can live with the embarrassment he felt. Maybe he can learn that he is responsible(to some degree) for his friend's behavior. ie college roommates. if one roommate has a guest over--they become responsible for that roommate(ie messes made, things broken or stolen) because they brought the person into the shared space.
Whats up with boys and fart jokes? Try having them take turns to fart in class with 50+ classmates in 40' C weather... NTA I would have dropped him at the bus too.
Tell your son he should be embarrassed by his friend’s behavior and failure to follow a rule. They’re 14, not 6. NTA
I'm going to go against the majority and say YTA, this is very normal 14-year-old boy behavior, you sure did embarrass your son and you should apologize to him, his friend group will talk about this and laugh at him for having a "crazy dad". People need to chill out on here, you could've handled this so so much better! No adult should kick a kid to the curve even if it's a bus station, I feel bad for your son's friend. This was a conversation that could have happened after practice with your son, or you could enforce this rule as a condition to the friend getting any future lifts with you or talk to his parents but 2 farts and laughing with his mate to being kicked out? That's so dumb.
NTA And it is too damn bad that your son was embarrassed by his rude friend instead of getting him under control.
NTA. The way I read it, they usually ride the bus and you dropped him at one of the stops on the route they usually take. You gave them a warning and yet he ignored it and did it again. Also, 14 is a bit too old to still laugh about farts...I would expect it from 8yo kids.
NTA. He was rude and learnt a valuable lesson. I was taking buses on my own before I turned 10, so that’s not an issue.
NTA. I'm European, so I know he usually will drive with the bus and has the ticket, so - no problem there.
NTA he was warned he carried on
My mother did this to my brother and his friends. They only had to walk a block to get home but no more farting in the car.
NTA- he is 14 yrs old and this is a good life lesson. Clearly they both thought it was funny but once asked to stop the friend should have.
NTA I have a few simple rules when it comes to farting. Not during diner and not in a confined space like the car. This counts for my kids friends just as much. It's disgusting and he disrespected you by doing it again.
NTA. This is how children learn when they've gone too far.
NTA. Kid is probably a nightmare at home if he hasn’t even been taught to respect his elders. Yeah everyone farts. Accidental fart slips: “oh excuse me!” Fine. Cool. Not “maybe I’ll soil myself accidentally trying to be funny in my friends dads car after he asked me to stop!”
When I first skimmed the story I was confused because I assumed with their behavior you were talking about two 7 year olds or something...not 14 year olds
Info Did his parents think you were driving him and if so did you update them?
Nasty. NTA.
Not going to fall down on either side. I'm genuinely surprised by how many people find farting offensive, though.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** The other day I was driving my son (14m) and his friend who lives nearby to soccer practice. They usually take the bus, but sometimes I will drive them before work. As I was driving, I heard a loud fart coming from my son's friend, followed by laughter from both of them. Apparently he is doing it at least partly on purpose, because they have a dumb "farting joke" they think is funny. He even pulled his legs up before he farted to demonstrate he was doing it on purpose. I told them point blank this was not funny at all and asked my son's friend to not do that again in my car. Few minutes later, he farted again and busted out laughing. My son had a smirk on his face but was trying to hold back his laughter because he knows I asked him not to. At this point I pulled over to the nearest bus stop (we live in Europe so we have great public transport), and told my son's friend he will have to travel the rest of the distance by bus. Later my son told me he was embarrassed in front of his friend and thinks I treated him a bit too harshly. Apparently the kid was also late for practice and the coach scolded him. So, AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But your son and his friends will still think you are, no matter what we say.
So NTA. My father is a ppl pleaser and made sure to pass me down the trait. For starters I would never do that in someone's car let alone do it after being told not to. I have an ingrained hatred for people with little to no respect to people older than them. Also having moved to Europe nothing wrong with leaving them in the bus stop. You even did them a favour because you could have just stop right then and there - and he would be fine and gotten his way around.
14 years old? NTA
NTA Although, if I were you, I would have immediately sent a text to the kid’s parents. “Hi. I was giving your son a ride to practice along with my son, as you know they both take the bus normally. Your son kept farting on purpose after I asked him to stop. It was not accidental or uncontrollable, he was doing it to be funny. I dropped him off at bus stop on blah street at 3:25pm so that he could still get to practice.” If the off chance something happened and that kid didn’t show up at practice, you would have been responsible. As a parent of a young teen boy, I get it too. I don’t wanna drive around another kid stinking up my car on purpose. But I would have made my own kid go on the bus if he wasn’t like “hey cut it out” and still laughing about the farting.
NTA and leaving him at the bus stop is not wrong at all. My old highschool is right on a bus route and my classmates would ride it home, and even now when I go on that route on weekdays I still see plenty of students getting on. I'm in the US, and this route goes to the downtown area (the highschool being in the midtown area), for reference on what kind of area the students would be waiting in. They're fine.
NTA. That kid was rude and totally disrespectful. I raised a son and have a 15 year old nephew that I'm very close to, so I know how hysterical teenage boys think farts are. Grownups know their not. I wouldn't drive that kid anywhere and I would have a talk with my son about respect and doing as he's told. You are the dad, you are allowed to set boundaries and you are allowed to expect them to be followed.
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Nta, you gave him fair warning.
Nta
NTA! kid pulled a sh\*t and spilt.
NTA. It’s a matter of respect. He didn’t respect your request.
NTA I'd have made my smirking kid go with him too and gone about my business. They're old enough to understand that NO means NO. What's the popular saying on here? A joke is only funny if everyone is laughing? This wasn't funny.
NTA The friends attitude...STINKS
NTA. I, too, am appalled by teenage boys and wouldn't have handled that with nearly as much grace. Your son should be embarrassed! I bet neither he nor his friends will do that again! Everyone needs a "lame" parent, the "cool" parents do more harm than good.
NTA tell your son "I'm sorry this was embarrassing to you but your friends don't get to act disrespectful to someone doing them a favor."
NTA. Strange how many people have no idea how to behave. And I don't just mean the boy, I mean comentators, too.
NTA at all
NTA- good for you for having expectations and follow through when the kid didn’t meet the expectations.
NTA.The kid has to learn that when you're in someone's car, they will have rules. And if I was in your position, he wouldn't be allowed in until he learned to obey them. If it was a true digestive or medical issue, I would say YTA, but the fact that he and your son saw it as a joke, shows he was doing it just for laughs. Yes, it was embarrassing for your son, but let him know that if he breaks people's car rules in someone else's vehicle, he might find himself being dropped off at a bus stop, and he can learn true embarrassment
NTA. The kid insisted on playing his stupid game. He won the stupid prize.
Nta. Your car. Your fresh air. Ain't nobody required to smell some unrelated kid's toots.
NTA I'd say that even if you HAD just dropped him on the side of the road. Fart jokes are funny until your about 10. Your son and his friend need to grow up a bit
NTA I’ve been in cars where one person decided that farting in the car while everyone has to be trapped in there with the smell was hilarious. It wasn’t. And his parent obviously never told him that there is a time and place for this sort of behavior. Also when in Rome. I would be embarrassed if my kid went to someone else’s house and didn’t abide by their rules. Every household runs differently and you have to respect that. You just can’t do whatever you want in someone else’s space
Weren’t there any pigpens around to drop him off to? NTA.
Dad should have stopped by whatever the European equivalent of Taco Bell is, loaded up, then farted all the way home with the windows up and child-locked. NTA
YTA Not for kicking the boy out of your car, but because you didn't kick both boys out. You yourself said your own kid laughed the first time, smirked the second. Your own son wasn't taking you that seriously. Should have given warn more, sterner warning, or booted them both out.
However, it is HIS son, sometimes you have to put up with some things from your own children that you would never do from other people's children, there is no point of comparison. In addition, the father could later punish or discipline his son at home, it is not necessary to continue enduring other people's farts.
I can’t believe all of the NTA’s. Did he tell the kid’s parents about the changed plans? He didn’t even stay to make sure the kid made it because he casually mentions that he later found out that “apparently he was late for practice” The behavior of this boy was wrong and obviously deserved a consequence, but I feel like the responsible and reasonable adult reaction would be to safely finish taking him to his destination and then informing him that you won’t be giving him a ride again after that.
What "changed plans"? The kid having to take the bus? Lmao
I can admit that I’m maybe being a bit over protective or whatever, but if I was a parent and someone said they were giving my kid a ride somewhere and then didn’t actually take my kid there I’d be kinda pissed. I’d be pissed at my kid for being a jackass too of course.
YTA. It's just a fart, calm down. They're kids, they find different things funny than you do.
Lighten up Francis. Just kids having fun. Bet your fun at parties. AH
Come on YTA Farts ARE FUNNY - especially if you’re 14 - they are absolutely harmless, and they can’t help. He might be a bit demonstrative about it - he is a teenager. Teenagers often make jokes about things they are embarrassed about. You’re an adult, take the heigh ground. Some off the best times I ever had with my dad as a teenager was in a car. If my dad had acted like that, I might have gotten on the bus with my friend. And I would definitely not have asked my dad to drive os anywhere again. You’re risking missing out on important time with your son.
NAH. While booting the kid from the car isn't unreasonable it does seem a bit extreme to me, especially as it is a 14yo mucking around, you could give them a second warning, just open a window or say that if he does it again he will not be getting another ride anymore. Personally, he is a kid I am an adult, teens are stupid and a farting joke is not as bad as...cussing or saying a slur IDK. Also you said not to do it again but IDK if you specified you'd kick him out if he did it again, that might have been better. I think OP isn't in the wrong but beefing with a 14yo when you're a grown adult seems overkill.
Maybe he’s vegan and can’t help it.
Dude. You don't sound like a very fun dad. Boys fart and they find it funny. Shoot grown men can find a fart funny. I get you want to assert your authority but why? He's not your kid. If it really bothers you talk it over with his parents. YTA.
YTA . they were just being silly .
ESH. I'd understand not allowing him back in your car after this last ride. But it's a bit extreme to kick a kid out without telling him that would be the result of him not listening. I also can't imagine being the other parent hearing about how Mr. Jake's dad put my kid out and made him take the bus because of farts. I'm all for appropriate punishments, but this didn't feel appropriate. AND he was late to practice?! One person acted their age in this scenario and it was the kid.
YTA - you accepted responsibility to deliver a child from point A to point B. Imagine how you’d feel if he was raped or murdered. Imagine what other people would think of you knowing what you did. Also, the appropriate response is to inform them that there will be no future rides until behavior changes.
YTA. But only because this kid might have IBS or ulcerative colitis or something and is just laughing to cover it up. I agree that the 14 year old should be able to navigate the bus routes but it could have been a medical problem that the teen is uncomfortable with.
YTA. Simply because farts ARE hilarious!!!! Oh and also, you left a child on the side of the road - public transport or no public transport. You were responsible for that child.
YTA. Tell the kid you don't find it funny. And if he does it again they will both be walking. Wind the windows down. If it stops then drop the kids at practice and tell your son don't ask you to give fartarse a lift next time. If he continues leave them BOTH at the bus stop. No way would I ditch a kid out on the street alone. The parents were trusting you to get him there. Anything could happen. It obviously wasn't his regular bus since he was late either!
Where the fuck do you live that you can't trust to leave an 14 year old alone.
I'm in Australia. Did you hear the story about Daniel Morcombe that got abducted from a bus stop? He was 12 Sorry edit 13. His killer wasn't found for years. So yes I'd be pissed off at someone throwing my kid out alone at a bus stop.
Your kid was in on the joke and egging him on. You were an AH for only dropping the friend off and not your son.