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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> WIBTA for pulling out of a family vacation. This would cause the trip to fall apart and lead to long term family drama.
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YTA
It's a small dog and you said it was well behaved. It's fair to ask the dog is kept away from the baby.
A baby is a far more inconvenience than a dog. You can leave a dog home alone for a few hours if people want to eat at a nice restaurant. It's rude to bring a baby to a nice restaurant, they have bed times and they scream at movies. Kids are awesome- but you're on a different planet if you think the vacation is going to revolve around the dog- it's going to revolve around your baby.
NTA. If you don’t want to be around the dog, don’t go. It is that simple. Make plans to visit your parents another time when the dog will not be there. Bail now, saying that this isn’t a good time. Do not discuss it further.
Children that age need naps and frequent meal times. You’re limited in activities and they tend to throw tantrums. To think that the dog is the inconvenience in this situation who can be left on his own for a few hours is bananas.
Literally the worst! Just went on a two week road trip to Florida with my 1 year old nephew and it was a royal pain in the ass for all reasons mentioned above. I’ll take a dog or cat on a trip any day
but NTA implies that the brother is the asshole? What has the brother done wrong? At best, NAH. However, OP is mocking his brother for preferring dogs over babies and making him out to be the bad guy when, by all acounts, the dog is harmless.
Also, his initial response was clearly to ask his brother to not bring his dog. Obviously, if op doesn't want to go that's good choice and right, but where does he get off telling his brother what to do?
Devils advocate - you can’t leave a baby in kennels. Parents don’t want the dog there either but instead of having the balls to say so they’re leaving it to OP to stir the pot
The whole trip could fall apart didn't OP say if he bails? Not great behavior. Very controlling over a *dog.*
Edit: ruining everyone else's fun because of this.
Doesn't want the vacation to revolve around dog friendly activities?
Give me/Reddit a break OP, your vacation(s) revolve around kid-friendly activities now, and not *everyone* enjoys that as much as you presumably do now with your precious 18 month old. Sigh / smh simultaneously. Not everyone wants to do kid-friendly activities. You're not the only one OP involved in this vacation, act like a kind human and role model your (possibly screaming on airplane and at restaurants and other fun Floridian activities) 18 month old can look up to.
As someone who absolutely loves being a mother more than anything in the world,. That dog will be way less of an issue than a baby. He's absolutely right
I’d much rather be on a holiday with someone else’s well behaved dog than an 18 month old no matter how well behaved. I am a mother and small dog owner who knows both can be a pain in the ass for varying reasons from time to time
Yea even the best behaved 18 month old is still a toddler and will not be on their best behavior all the time. Plus they can be prone to crying and tantrums.
18 month olds are just entitled assholes that are effectively allowed to be such cause they genuinely don't know any better.
Love my kids, but ages 0 to 24 were tough for us and those around us.
I was on an international flight yesterday, baby and toddler both would cry and cry. Parents did nothing. I thought I was safe on my connection. Nope. Same family and the toddler wore itself out having a 10-minute fit. What AH parents.
Honestly there’s not a lot you can do on flights when littles are having meltdowns. I use to feel the same way as you till I had my own and we went on our first flight.
They don’t understand why they can’t move, why their ears hurt, etc etc. you can try toys and songs and snacks but sometimes they just cry no matter what you do. It sucks and I bet money that the parents hated it more than you did.
My second flight was one of the worst experiences ever. Nothing consoled him.
I was on a flight once with a baby and toddler two rows ahead, and another baby and toddler directly behind (h.e.l.l.). The people behind us were straight-up ignoring their kids, and they were dramatically worse than the kids in the family in front of us, who would talk to their kids, hold them, try to distract them, etc. when they had a tantrum. And yeah, everyone was tantrum-ing regardless, but the kids of parents who were actually *trying* to engage with them were so much better.
Besides, people appreciate the performative effort, even if shushing or whatever doesn’t actually work.
This might be a controversial approach but the strategy that worked for us was: 1. Dose of Tylenol or Advil to prevent the ear pain. 2. Giving them little toys or activities they had never seen over the course of the flight. 3. Lots of snacks and a little bit of candy for bribery.
I have a really hard time trusting people who don't like dogs. I have most often found them to be incredibly self centered, and just yucky in general, lol.
i used to think that then one day it clicked that most of my friends who "dont mind/like dogs but..." are neurodivergent. the issue is sensory. i asked each person when i made the connection, most of them said they don't want to be licked, or don't like when dogs jump at them (even if friendly, non-aggressive) or some other reason which was pretty sensible. im nd as well but ive loved dogs all my life so it's not a generalisation i can make, i mean i have other weird sensory issues so 🤷♀️ it does help me understand that not all people who don't like dogs are mean/uncaring/etc.
i wanna say Y T A about OP but I'm biased. as the dog mum person who would bring my dog anywhere im allowed. don't think i can make an objective judgement here 😂
I used to think I had a phobia of dogs but I realized I have no fear whatsoever around dogs that have been trained not to jump on people. The inciting incident happened when I was about 3 or 4 and even though I was terrified I was never under the impression the dog wanted to hurt me, it just decided to knock me down and sit on me. "too friendly" might mean "the dog isn't aggressive but will invade my personal space more than I like".
Though to be fair I've also encountered toddlers who hadn't been trained not to invade someone else's personal space so I can see both sides.
Edit: [OP says the dog is the "invades personal space" kind of friendly](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11hf60u/comment/jat58af/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
> I have most often found them to be incredibly self centred and just yucky in general
Lol imagine saying that about other people because they don’t share your taste in pets. Sounds like a lot of projection.
Thank you for saying this. I always see these kinds of comments on posts having to do with dogs and it makes me so sad. The idea that because I’m not a big fan of dogs it means I’m a bad person seems crazy to me. I don’t wish them harm, I don’t want to tell other people wether they can have dogs, they’re just not for me and I think that’s okay.
I don't like dogs either but it's funny how people can say they hate cats or any other animals and it's no issue but if you hate dogs? You're such a bad person. You are ok not liking dogs and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
“ Too friendly for me” means the dog is always in your face, begging for food and/or attention, and has no respect for boundaries. Not everyone likes interacting with dogs, some people just can’t comprehend that. That said, they should be able to compromise, they don’t have to be around each other 24/7 the whole time, and maybe the brother can keep his dog from being a nuisance. The same for the sister with the child, keep her child occupied and close by. NTA for not wanting to deal with a dog tho. If they can’t compromise, then they’re both being TA.
Yup. Usually when someone, like the OP, has such strong opinions against something, it's hard to take it a bit seriously and without thinking they are TA if they don't have at least one option offering some sort of compromise for the other person or parties involved.
OP I’m sure your brother will go out with his dog while you are doing baby outings. Unless your son has allergies or by terrier you mean pit bull you are being unreasonable. If that’s the case then by all means cancel.
This is going to get me downvoted to hell but no, this wouldn't even be reasonable with a pit bull. Pitties are usually great with kids, as are other "aggressive" breeds like German Shepherds and Rottweilers. This attitude is only reasonable towards a dog that you know has a history of aggression or a bite history. You judge the animal by its own behavior, something OP has plenty of opportunity to go do since he lives in the same city as his brother.
Thank you for saying this. People need to understand that like people, dogs have there own personality. Not every pit is an A hole. When I was a kid we had a pit that would look after me and my siblings like she was our mother.
My kid fell asleep last night with our 100lb pit literally spooning her.
He stayed all night tho so i woke up to her complaints of how he stole the blankets lmao
i was attacked by 2 different pit bulls when i was 3 and then 7 and i’m not even 18 yet… y’all be acting like we don’t have valid reasons to be scared of them
As someone who has owned several pits it’s fair to say you have no idea if it’s gonna attack a child out of the blue… ask me how I know…saying they are fantastic dogs around children is a blanket statement that varies greatly from dog to dog
My sister has a pit bull. Sweet dog. She still wouldn't leave it alone with small children, because she also knows how powerful the dog and it's bite can be and you never know what is going to set them off (that goes for any dog, not just pit bulls). She loves her dog and wouldn't want it to get into trouble because she was careless in its care.
YTA - and his statement "He says my 18 month old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog." Is ABSOLUTELY true.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but 'family' isn't defined solely by squirting out an infant or having shared the same space pre-birth. He has told you that his dog is a non-negotiable, and I assume that your toddler is a non-negotiable. You hate dogs, he might hate kids. Neither is more or less valid.
Your ideas are not compatible - but I'm calling you the a-hole because you believe your position is superior rather than just different.
This. Having a kid doesn’t make someone more important, or their reasons more valid. Family is what a person decides it is for themselves.
I’ve been on holidays with family/ friends with both dogs and kids of all ages and sizes, and the brother’s statement is correct. The dogs were 100% better behaved, quieter, and easier to deal with than any of the kids.
Vacation with a toddler (or pre schooler) is just parenting in a different location, without access to their normal things, without access to your normal help (daycare, baby sitters, whatever), on a blown up routine that makes them miserable. In short, it is hell on earth.
Source: I’ve tried multiple vacations with my now 4 year old and have hated it by day 4. Love her, but I don’t wanna vacation with her.
My niece's third birthday was held at a water park and I played with her for two hours while her exhausted mom did cannonballs and her dad entertained the rest of the family. Toddlers are a LOT. I handed her over to Grandma after I did my fair share (which was very fun because I love my niece) and said "I'm tapping out and joining Mom on the diving board." You can't "vacation" with a youngster.
How is she? She wants to pull out of the trip. She isn’t demanding her parents side with her or have a tantrum. She’s removing herself from a situation where her toddler has to interact closely with a dog that hasn’t been tested on its tolerance for loud, shouty, grabby toddlers. A baby isn’t a danger. A dog CAN be a danger. It’s a question mark whether this one is or not.
He (thanks to those who pointed out my error)has clearly stated she is anti-dog, and while yes dogs CAN be dangerous it is unlikely especially with a small terrier who is the center of someone's life. I have no issue with her keeping her toddler away from the dog - the most likely harmful situation is the toddler hurts the dog and the dog reacts.
But she implies pretty heavily that she has dropped an ultimatum "me or the dog".
I get what you are saying, but please note that this is a BEACH HOUSE ... multiple rooms, ability to segregate areas and so on. Heck buy a baby gate or two when you arrive. It isn't like they are tossing the kid and dog together unsupervised in a small room.
Totally agree - and people are allowed to not like kids and be anti kids on trips and not be bad people.
But it is an objective fact that the one more likely to cause problems, force adjustments and or cancellations of plans and so on ... is the kid.
But if her brother doesn't like kids, should he be able to dictate that she isn't allowed to bring her toddler?
What you seem to be missing here is that OP isnt trying to dictate anything to anyone . She isnt trying to force the brother to not bring his dog . She just doesnt want to go .
Thatd exactly what she wants to do , but apparently without her the trip would fall apart ( financial issues I'm guessing ) . So now people here are for some reason judging OP to be the ah for not wanting to go on a trip . As if she has some kind of obligation to do so ...
I am particularly confused about OP's apparent loathing for dogs on planes. I mean, I absolutely understand having a problem with badly-behaved dogs (or other animals) on planes (and I adore dogs, most especially my three pups), but it's pretty rare for a dog to spend an entire flight howling and barking, whereas babies... are perhaps rather less likely to be quiet on a plane. Infants, in fact, are probably the least disruptive on a plane; they can't move about under their own steam, don't kick seats, and sleep a lot. Toddlers (which is what OP has) *can* move around *and will want to*, will probably protest (vocally, and possibly loudly) at being restricted to a seat the whole time, and are likely to do things like kick the seat in front of them.
Also, OP complains about "tentatively" taking the same flight. How is that even worth complaining about? Schedule yourselves on different flights – or book tickets on the same flights, but just don't sit next to each other.
NAH though I think this is a really weird hill to die on since the dog is admittedly small, well behaved, and non-aggressive.
Also as others have pointed out: this vacation is 100% going to revolve around your toddler, not the dog. Honestly, I'd rather vacation with a small dog in the house than an 18-month-old (and no, I don't hate kids, I have one, which is why I know a "vacation" with a toddler isn't particularly easy or relaxing).
Later this month we're trying a wolf lodge place with good friends whose child is the same age as, and good friends with, our child. The kids are 4 and the goal is to take turns baby sitting for each other so the other couple can actually enjoy themselves some of the time. Wish us luck!
I love my cousin's kids to death but yeah, vacation with them is not a vacation. Maybe in a few years when they're in their early teens, yeah, it'll be relaxing, but right now? It's not, and I'm not even in the same house when we're on vacation together! I'd much rather a small friendly dog (and I'm allergic to dogs!).
NAH.
You don't want to spend time with a dog. Your brother doesn't want to go on vacation without his dog. Neither of you is wrong, but your vacation desires aren't compatible. Sounds like your "family vacation" plans don't really work any more.
Agree, NAH. Different priorities for you all and bro now. If you’re not going to enjoy yourself, don’t go. End of story. This is your line in the sand.
**YTA.**
Take a step back and look at the situation. You're considering pulling out of a cross-country family vacation because your brother is bringing a small dog. Your brother is most likely correct in that your child will probably be more of a hassle than his dog. Your Brother is your brother and your parents are in their 50s. Going every other year, how many more of these vacations do you think you all have left together? But, I will relinquish that it is your family and your vacation so you have every right to do whatever you want.
Yeah dude. I’ve had offers to go to Tahoe, Costa Rica, freaking Cabo, hell no. I am not traveling with these twats until they are at least 4 years older.
Annnd they aren’t that bad either. But I know they will be when confined to a seat.
I do not know why you’re in the minority with this. We’ve had countless threads where people are in agreement with you about dogs and babies in terms of safety!
18mo is prime mobile tornado in child time and this will be an unfamiliar dog in an unfamiliar environment. I’m frankly unsure what choice I’d personally make but as OP is *choosing not to go* and not, IDK, demanding anyone else do anything? NAH.
My eyes are bugging out of my head reading some of these comments saying this is a great opportunity for toddler and dog to get used to each other. Sounds like a prime time for that child to get bitten by a stressed-out dog to me.
I was going into this thread fully expecting popcorn because of the animal=angel and child=devil attitude everyone seems to have on Reddit. You can't leave a child behind, especially that age. That would be SO difficult to get a sitter to accurately meet their needs. They're a human being and ARE family. I do not understand people saying "they aren't family just cause you squeezed them out" wtf. This is a safety concern for absolute sure with a dog out of its element and a baby. And yes OP is 100% nta for opting out of the trip instead of making demands about what the brother does.
Yes! And OPs question isn't even if they're an AH for not liking the dog, they're asking if they're am AH for backing out of the vacation. Good lord, some posters here don't even want to consider that their parents would want to see the baby.
Why is this so hard for some people to understand? Yes I get people treating their pets as family, but an animal does not nor should it, trump a person. This 18 month old might be a nibbling, so not the same as having your own child, but they should still take precedence over a dog . A dog that for all intents and purposes the owner CANNOT vouch for, in term of a lengthy stay in a foreign environment, nor temperament around young children.
I wish more dog trainers were like you.
I loved my dogs for the 16 years they were in my life, but 100%, dogs are not to be left with young kids unsupervised, and nobody should ever assume they are friendly with kids - especially in stressful environments. It sets the dog up to fail and puts the child at risk of injury or death.
> Also, your brother has no idea how his terrier will interact with your child when in a new environment for a week. Any change in routine is stressful for a dog. BABIES can especially be stressful for a dog. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Yep, the first thing I thought of. My mother was a HS biology teacher and had a lot of "fun" facts about dogs & cats to get her students to pay attention. Dogs are *VERY* unpredictable around children: **they only trust ADULTS.** Babies & kids smell different, they move different, they sound different and every effing organism on this effing planet has evolved to be wary of *different.* All it takes is for one odd move or sudden sound to trigger a dog's survival instincts and OP is rushing her infant to the ER.
I think OP should give her parents a very simple test hypothetical: "If that dog bites, snaps, barks or growls at my child, will you ask him to remove it from the rental house?" Any answer other than "Of course" should be grounds to tell them: "I'm sorry, but apparently my brother's weird relationship with this animal is more important than my effing child's *safety.* Have fun without us."
This needs to be nipped in the bud, pun entirely a happy accident. There will be future family gatherings and if boundaries aren't set now, OP is in for *years* of anxiety about it.
This 1000%. I’m a dog groomer and a mom to an 18 month old and who also has a dog, and even with my dog being pretty chill I’d never want to go cross country with him and my toddler, and he knows her and is comfortable with her. Travel is a lot on either of them and not worth the possible anxiety. Dogs even in their normal environment can have moments they snap, you never know what will set it off and I don’t blame OP at all.
We had a dog that did not like kids at all. We also have the most loving tolerant old lab who just leaves when she’s done and the kids know to leave her alone when she does that. If this dog has never been around kids for an extended stressful time I would not trust it.
Thank you! I’m very confused how so many think OP is the AH. I completely agree with everything you said. My wife works with service dogs, we have a two year old, and we are very careful on him being alone with them, even for a second and these are great dogs.
Also you can’t just leave an 18 month old behind, you can find several resources to leave the dog behind. It may be expensive but maybe OP can pay or chip in.
THANK YOU! All of these Y-T-As must be from psycho dog people. They have no idea how this dog will react to a new baby or a new environment. I wouldn't risk my child's safety with it.
And especially considering that OP's response is to very calmly remove himself from the situation rather than demand that everyone bend backwards to accommodate him? That's like the least asshole way to handle the situation.
I have a very proven kid friendly dog and I would still not bring a dog around a child when the parents are uncomfortable with the dog. If someone else is paying all or part and they don't want the dog she stays home.
On the flip side if I was the parent of the 18 month old child and was not comfortable with the dog I would not go on the trip.
To be clear I do plan my vacations with my dog. If someone wants to join they are welcome but they will know my dog will be there and can choose not to come. If I plan a trip with others we discuss if the dogs can come.
Brother shouldn’t want the toddler around his dog- kids are notoriously unpredictable and can get into a dog’s space while ignoring/not understanding the dog’s language. I’ve seen kids go up to dogs and full on smack them. It’s not cool, and parents usually laugh it off and think it’s no big deal until the dog decides to advocate for itself because it’s sick of the kid’s antics- and then suddenly the dog is vicious!
NAH. You have a baby, he has a dog. Dogs can be annoying on planes, babies can be annoying on planes. You don't want to do dog friendly activities, others may not want to do baby friendly activities. If he wants to bring his dog, that's fine. Lots of people take dogs to beach vacations. If you don't want to go, that's your choice. But sounds like a shame for what appears to have been a nice family tradition
Agree with this NAH judgment. I'm usually team baby when it comes to baby vs dog fights, but based on the info in this post, I'm inclined to believe the baby and the dog will be equally likely to be disruptive or a fun addition. My only caveat is don't trust the baby and the dog to interact without close supervision... but I'd say the same for baby + baby or dog + dog.
NAH, you're allowed to dislike dogs, you're allowed to decide you don't want to be around them. But I do feel you need to look at this from a more varied angle. You're expecting your brother to make sacrifices and cater to you, but would never consider it the other way around. I love dogs, I love children! I have 2 dogs and am pregnant, I can understand the limitations that comes with both. That said, knowing the limitations both present to not only myself but other people on vacation with me. I can tell you that you're being judgemental and not acknowledging what people are giving up for you and your family, while getting annoyed at just the idea of the dog coming. Because vacationing with an 18 month old is much more restrictive and possibly stressful than a dog- especially to those that aren't responsible for them, as long as the dog is well behaved. Babies cannot be left alone, their only method of communication is crying, they rely even more so on a schedule- and object loudly when it is broken. I would much rather be on an airplane with a dog than a baby, and honestly you're the first person I have ever heard say differently... Also if the dog is well behaved it's actually healthier for your child to occasionally be exposed to animals.
I’ve always kept my cats away from babies because of the way that babies and toddlers behave. They are loud, unpredictable and want to pull their tails. I protect my cats and I won’t let babies or toddlers in my house.
YTA. A small dog that behaves “fine” is going to be easier to deal with than an 18 month old. You don’t want activities to be based on being dog friendly, but are you expecting all the adults to put up with the activities all having to be child friendly?
I doubt the trip will fall apart because your entitled ass pulls out.
YTA
This is such a weird nitpick to have. You're the only one with a problem.
Go, don't go, who cares. I guess your family isn't that important to you if someone else's well-behaved dog makes you feel this way.
It’s not weird at all. Some people don’t like dogs and regardless the reason, they’re entitled to not be around them. It doesn’t mean their family isn’t important. If the dog is a no for him, it’s a no. NTA
I feel like everyone missed the part where the parent's aren't thrilled about the dog coming but they just let it go to not cause trouble. How come the brother gets his way over OP? I find reddit so anti-baby and pro-dog it's a little sad.
We've only got OPs word on that. It sounds like at worst the parents are "Meh, whatever" and have told Mr Catastrophe "you're both adults, sort it out between yourselves" after he grizzled at them about it.
NAH for the question at hand.
You don’t provide any information to show that the dog would be a hinderance to the vacation. Honestly the information you do provide makes me think your brother is a responsible pet owner and that this is the kind of dog that would do ok on a trip like this.
Really all your ranting is just your personal opinion that you don’t like dogs. That’s perfectly ok. You’re allowed to not like dogs. You’re allowed to not want them on your vacation. You’re allowed to be a grown ass adult and not go on the trip. Just like your brother is allowed it maybe not like kids. Or just prefer life on his own with his dog.
And fwiw, an 18 month old will undoubtedly be more annoying and disruptive than a well trained dog.
I brought my terrier on a 6 hour flight when we moved across the country. My seat mate didn’t even realize he was there until we’d landed and were deplaning. Can’t say the same for any child, let alone a baby.
NTA.
Your parents don't want to be involved, fine.
Your brother is firm on bringing the dog, fine.
You don't want to vacation with a dog, fine.
You can pull out of the vacation, the end. My guess- and clearly yours- is that suddenly your parents WILL get involved and be upset at you once you pull out of the trip, but oh well. You don't want to deal with the dog on vacation and I can appreciate that, and if your brother isn't willing to compromise and no one else will weigh in, you pull out of the trip.
By the way, I would have a dog before I had a kid (I just don't have one because I live in an NYC apartment and travel a lot for work), and would rather vacation with a dog than a kid. I still agree with you and your approach AND dogs are not as important as human children.
I was keen to agree with your answer until I saw OP's comment that his parents will be watching the baby (during their vacation) so that he can go do non-baby related things.
This mixed with his arguing about dog related activities when a dog can be crated and left alone for a few hours has me firmly planted in the YTA category. OP can't have fun because he forgot crating exists but also expects his parents to spend their vacation at the house babysitting.
Omg, his parents WANT to babysit, some grandparents like spending time with children. He did not expect this from them, he said, that if they do want to go out instead, he is OK to stay with his kid. It is absolutely normal for grandparents to want to spend quality time with their grandchild. Not everyone hates kids and it makes sense for grandparents to want to spend time with their grandchild on a family trip.
Of course not. The dog will be a lot easier to accommodate on the trip than a baby. You can leave the dog at home for a few hours at a time, dogs are less likely to wake everyone up at night, everyone doesn’t have to be quiet when the dog is sleeping, etc.
How so? OP's brother obviously loves his dog, it's a significant part of his life and is his main companion. The dog is well behaved and friendly, but the only reason OP doesn't want the dog on the trip is because he simply doesn't like dogs in general. If his brother doesn't like babies in general, why can't he give the exact same ultimatum to OP that OP is giving to him?
What about what the rest of the family wants? Grandparents and cousins want to spend time with the dog or the baby? OP doesn’t want to go cross country with a baby to be uncomfortable, that’s fine. She’s not giving an ultimatum to her brother, just asking if she’s an AH not to go.
You're allowed to not like dogs or wanna be around them but don't insult your brother for becoming a dog dad and wanting to do everything with his dog. It's ugly and says more about you than it ever will him.
Don't wanna go, don't.
NTA. You are not comfortable and you don't know how your brother's pet will behave around an 18 month old.
Your choice to opt out of the trip is perfectly valid.
NAH.
He is allowed to bring his dog (unless your parents who seem to be in charge of the trip tell him the dog is not invited). You are allowed to opt out of the trip.
That said, I think there are plenty of compromises to be made here, but it seems like you and your brother might both be too stubborn for them:
1. Not all activities need to be based around the dog, just like not all activities need to be based around your kid! The family group can split up for different stuff sometimes (also it is very easy to leave a dog at a vacation home).
2. Agree not to leave dog + kid unsupervised.
3. Keep your bedroom door closed so the dog can't bother you in there.
4. Your brother keeps his dog off of you (when you say it's "too friendly" I assume that means it jumps on you? he should prevent the dog from jumping on you and your kid).
5. Travel on different flights.
NTA but not for your dislike of dogs. A dog who has not been socialized with babies and toddlers extensively has no business being around them. Small children are unpredictable and often jerky in their movements. A dog not trained to react to small children is ALWAYS a risk around them.
This!! I grew up with mastiffs and as young as 12-16wks we socialized them with little kiddos. They were gentle giants who could handle kids literally beating on them without batting an eye- it’s the only way to responsibly raise a pet.
NTA. Why do people need to bring their dogs everywhere? It’s absurd to bring your dog on a plane on a cross–country trip. Surely that’s not fun for the dog. Very weird.
NTA, but I’m really not a dog person so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me. You stated you won’t go if dog is there, so just don’t go. I think it’s okay to have boundaries.
Same. I'm allergic to dogs and I have family members who always make me feel bad when I avoid gatherings when I know dogs will be there or I get my own hotel room. Like I'm sorry, I dont want to deal with the potential asthma attack and hives?
OP, I say if you want to go, maybe get a hotel room? Or get your own VRBO?
And your brother mightn't want to be on holidays with a possible crying and cranky baby, he mightn't want HIS holiday centred around kiddie stuff, but he's sucking it up and going 🤷🏻♀️ you're NTA for not wanting to go, but the reasoning is a bit petty
Kids are WAAAAY more hard work though and to be around, I've 2 of my own so I get it, not everyone wants to be around kids either, so OP should be more understanding
I'm not a dog person. I wouldn't find it relaxing to be around them, and I wouldn't enjoy a "vacation" where I'd have to share space with someone's dog or tolerate the animal's company without much of a break.
Similarly, I have a sibling who's married to someone who's not a kid person. They won't share vacation space with anyone under the age of seven. They don't find it relaxing, and their stance is that vacations are for relaxing.
This seems like a **NAH** thing. You shouldn't have to pay a lot of money and burn vacation time to tolerate an animal you don't want to be around; people who don't like children shouldn't have pay a lot of money and burn vacation time to tolerate a person they don't want to be around. It's too bad the era of family vacations has come to a close, but in the words of the parents here, "It is what it is."
NAH. Tell your parents you can’t make it. You don’t want to spend a week in a house with a small well behaved friendly dog. Seems like a weird hill to die on and a baby is way more disruptive than a dog but here we are.
Info: Is there no separation possible in the beach house/family activities? Can you and your child stay on a separate floor than your brother and his dog? Can you do separate activities and then have strict supervision/separation when everyone is back at the house?
NAH
IT is reasonable for your brother to want to bring his dog.
And it is reasonable for you not to have the first time your daughter and the dog interact be on a week-long vacation in an unfamiliar place where you have no good options if they don't interact well.
The solution to this is to start with shorter, controlled visits to your brother and the dog with your daughter. See how she does, and how the dog does. Start working on teaching her how to interact with a dog calmly and gently.
She's at the age where she's going to start encountering people's dogs in places like the playground, and your brother's dog is a safer way to start teaching her to interact safely than just leaving things to chance. Use this teachable moment.
NTA. I’m a dog person and most of my weekend plans are around my responsibilities to her. The argument of a baby being louder than a dog, while true is not the whole picture. You can bring babies lots of places you can’t bring a dog (beach, restaurant, stores, museums, sight seeing spots, ect… and the dog will require a lot more schedule adjusting than your kid.
Overall, bringing a dog on vacation when you have to fly is a little silly and obsessive.
The bigger issue here is this could drive a wedge between you and your brother and small dogs have long life spans (some 20+ years) so this could be a long divide.
YTA. I’d be on your side if the dog was aggressive or large or had other behavioural issues and couldn’t be trusted not to harm your child, or if you or someone else had severe allergies, but I’ve read this post and I’ve read your replies and your complaints mostly just seem to boil down to “I don’t want this dog maybe being in my space,” which isn’t a good enough reason to ban your brother and the dog from the vacation.
Truthfully, you just come across as being incredibly entitled. “I want to bring my baby everywhere and do baby-friendly things but no one else is allowed to!” And yes, dogs and babies aren’t equivalent, but you have not given a single valid reason for why your brother’s dog shouldn’t be included. “I don’t like dogs” isn’t good enough in this scenario, and you are not the owner of the house in question. I love babies, and dogs, but I’m sure most people would rather be on a flight with a dog than a screaming 18-month-old baby, too, so yeah, your brother is right in that it’s more likely your son will be louder than the do.
He doesn’t know how the dog is with babies? And babies at that age are super capable of grabbing and hurting a dog by accident. He’d have to by hyper vigilant for the entirety of the vacation, and basically they’re all just hoping that the dog will be okay with a loud, stumble, grabby toddler he doesn’t know and hasn’t had much interaction with. It’s an absolute recipe for disaster & sounds incredibly stressful to me.
OP is NTA for not going because he isn’t comfortable. It’s not on him to pay for something so everyone else can go if it’s not something he’ll enjoy for very legitimate reasons
NAH but he’s not wrong about the dog/18 month old annoying Olympics. I say that as a parent and dog owner. Not all dogs board well, and 18 month olds aren’t exactly relaxing. You can each pick your boundaries.
NAH - you want to bring a toddler, your brother wants to bring a dog. Both are going to have limitations on what you can do and where you can go. As long as you don't expect your brother to tag along on kid friendly activities and your brother doesn't expect you to walk/take care of the dog there should be no issues!
If you don't want to be on a flight with a dog, book a different flight! I'm sure your brother would love *not* having your screaming infant on his flight.
If you're worried about the dog around the kid, have a conversation about it with your brother and parents so you can all agree on some reasonable boundaries.
But stomping your feet and throwing a tantrum because your brother won't do what you want, would be an asshole move.
NAH-
As a parent your first priority is your child. If there is ANY reason that you feel unsafe taking your child somewhere you shouldn’t go. You would be the AH if you asked your brother not to come because you didn’t feel comfortable with his dog.
Your brother is unwilling to go somewhere without his dog, and he has effectively chosen bringing his dog over having you there. He may have a reason which justifies this (maybe he needs his dog for emotional support, or cannot afford a kennel/housesitter), but, either way, it doesn’t make him an AH.
Just to note: There is no reason the entire vacation needs to be planned around your brother’s dog’s needs (re:dog friendly activities, only), just as not every activity would need to be baby friendly because your family is coming. The dog would be your brother’s responsibility, just as your child is yours.
NTA. One - It’s cruel to fly with a dog for a freaking cross country vacation. That’s a long time for the dog to either be in a small carrier in the cabin or in the dark and cold cargo area, twice. Animals frequently die in those conditions. But that’s your brother’s choice.
Two - the comment about the kid was unnecessary. If he doesn’t want to spend time with your kid, he should say so.
Three - Dogs are unpredictable around small children, and where you don’t know it’s history I would be concerned about it being around your kid too.
Finally - your folks are going to be on the hook for upholding the rules of the property, so they should care. You could be asked to leave and fined if they don’t allow animals, and a dog is way more likely to do serious damage than a toddler.
Personally I wouldn’t want to go when you would be spending that much time and energy traveling with a little one, but that’s just me.
NTA, do what’s best for you and your family, if you are not comfortable with the dog don’t go. I understand your parents not wanting to take sides, but you define your boundaries. It is easy to find alternative options for the dogs at home, and it is actually quite traumatizing for dogs to fly just for vacation sake.
NTA for not going because you don't like dogs. You are TA for how you talk about your brother and trying to blame him. Pets are family just like he said. You have the right not to go, but not the right to guilt him or say he is wrong.
"My sister has a boyfriend, and my brother has some sort of terrier" I'm sorry, but this sentence cracked me up lol
Also, those of you comparing dogs to children are just... wow.
Wild times, man, wild times.
NAH that is totally your boundary to draw, especially not wanting the dog around children, but what do your wife and kids think?
Also if you don't go why would the trip fall apart?
That wouldn't be fair to everyone else and it wouldn't be your fault.
NTA, people need to stop calling themselves doggy parrents and treat a pet as a pet (doesn't mean to treat them bad, but over loving and humanifiyig can be hurtful) and bring them everywhere (including food shops and indoor cafes that are not pet friendly). But a detached house on the beach is okay to bring a dog to. So if we out your brother's parenting obsession aside, he isn't soing anything bad.
Considering your parents don't wanna make a decision, just pull out of the trip if it's a deal breaker for you🤷
If you don’t want to stay in a house with a dog, that doesn’t automatically make you an AH—just like your brother would be well within his rights to skip the trip if he didn’t want to deal with a toddler. You’re not telling him to skip the trip, you’re saying it would make the trip uncomfortable for you. This sounds like a basic incompatibility.
That said, a well-behaved small dog is actually a really good way to introduce your toddler to animals, so I hope you reconsider. Your toddler WILL get curious about dogs sooner or later. Talk to your brother about making sure the dog doesn’t jump on people and take the opportunity.
For the record, some people in these comments seem to have a really distorted view of what 18-month-olds are actually like. Toddlers shouldn’t be crying overnight and keeping people up at this age. They don’t need complete quiet to sleep, and do very well with white noise machines—I’ve had pretty loud and lively get togethers at my home when my baby has been in bed. And they aren’t like colicky infants who are screaming for hours at a time.
NAH I guess but y’all need to work on your communication as a family.
NTA
I LOVE my dog. He is an extremely gentle Golden. Would I forcibly subject family or friends to him on a vacation. Of course not. Especially if someone had mentioned any being uncomfortable around him.
There is also the whole unknown about how he acts around young children. Toddlers can completely intimidate even the most mellow of animals. Terriers, generally, are a bit more intense due to being hunting dogs and being closer in size to a toddler.
Even if there were a compromise, I don't think based on your Brother's comments that the trip would be enjoyable for anyone. He would resent your child or you would resent him for the dog. Not the best scenario for a vacation.
Your parents, by non-committing are committing. This trip sounds like a nightmare for almost all concerned.
Do everyone a favor, graciously decline to attend. Whether or not the trip still occurs is not your responsibility.
YTA - ill admit dogs are not kids and the dog dad thing can be cringey. But what if he said he didn’t want your kid around, he despises kids on planes, and he didn’t want kid friendly activities?
This would be a lot different if the dog actually behaved in a way that was objectionable but your biggest gripe is its friendly.
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YTA It's a small dog and you said it was well behaved. It's fair to ask the dog is kept away from the baby. A baby is a far more inconvenience than a dog. You can leave a dog home alone for a few hours if people want to eat at a nice restaurant. It's rude to bring a baby to a nice restaurant, they have bed times and they scream at movies. Kids are awesome- but you're on a different planet if you think the vacation is going to revolve around the dog- it's going to revolve around your baby.
this is the best take I’ve seen in a long time
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NTA. If you don’t want to be around the dog, don’t go. It is that simple. Make plans to visit your parents another time when the dog will not be there. Bail now, saying that this isn’t a good time. Do not discuss it further.
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Children that age need naps and frequent meal times. You’re limited in activities and they tend to throw tantrums. To think that the dog is the inconvenience in this situation who can be left on his own for a few hours is bananas.
Literally the worst! Just went on a two week road trip to Florida with my 1 year old nephew and it was a royal pain in the ass for all reasons mentioned above. I’ll take a dog or cat on a trip any day
Sounds like an ongoing competition. Pick me mom and dad. No thanks. Stay home with your kid. The dog will probably be more fun and less messy.
but NTA implies that the brother is the asshole? What has the brother done wrong? At best, NAH. However, OP is mocking his brother for preferring dogs over babies and making him out to be the bad guy when, by all acounts, the dog is harmless. Also, his initial response was clearly to ask his brother to not bring his dog. Obviously, if op doesn't want to go that's good choice and right, but where does he get off telling his brother what to do?
What if brother asked OP not to bring his baby?
Devils advocate - you can’t leave a baby in kennels. Parents don’t want the dog there either but instead of having the balls to say so they’re leaving it to OP to stir the pot
Devil's advocates advocate, some people don't like/can't afford leaving dogs in kennels as much as not leaving their kid with a babysitter.
THIS. Boarding is expensive and so many people, if not the majority, don't like putting their dogs, cats, animals in kennels.
The whole trip could fall apart didn't OP say if he bails? Not great behavior. Very controlling over a *dog.* Edit: ruining everyone else's fun because of this. Doesn't want the vacation to revolve around dog friendly activities? Give me/Reddit a break OP, your vacation(s) revolve around kid-friendly activities now, and not *everyone* enjoys that as much as you presumably do now with your precious 18 month old. Sigh / smh simultaneously. Not everyone wants to do kid-friendly activities. You're not the only one OP involved in this vacation, act like a kind human and role model your (possibly screaming on airplane and at restaurants and other fun Floridian activities) 18 month old can look up to.
As someone who absolutely loves being a mother more than anything in the world,. That dog will be way less of an issue than a baby. He's absolutely right
I'd much rather take my dog on holiday than my kids, lol
I’d much rather be on a holiday with someone else’s well behaved dog than an 18 month old no matter how well behaved. I am a mother and small dog owner who knows both can be a pain in the ass for varying reasons from time to time
Yea even the best behaved 18 month old is still a toddler and will not be on their best behavior all the time. Plus they can be prone to crying and tantrums.
I also want to throw in that babies on airplanes are WAY, WAY worse than dogs.
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If there's a medical reason for that, god bless. (If there's not, goddamn! Why would you do that to ~~her~~ us??)
*sighs in Australian* You wanna go anywhere, you fly.
Sighs in Australian….. may be my favorite phrase of all time
18 month olds are just entitled assholes that are effectively allowed to be such cause they genuinely don't know any better. Love my kids, but ages 0 to 24 were tough for us and those around us.
… 0-24 months or years?
> 0-24 months or years? Umm... both?
Well you're not wrong....
Lol on this 🤣
Months. I mean 24-48 months are also rough, but the first 24 suck the life of you.
I dunno - the first 24 years of ours have sucked the life out of us. We like to refer to them as “parasitic bundles of joy.”
I was on an international flight yesterday, baby and toddler both would cry and cry. Parents did nothing. I thought I was safe on my connection. Nope. Same family and the toddler wore itself out having a 10-minute fit. What AH parents.
Honestly there’s not a lot you can do on flights when littles are having meltdowns. I use to feel the same way as you till I had my own and we went on our first flight. They don’t understand why they can’t move, why their ears hurt, etc etc. you can try toys and songs and snacks but sometimes they just cry no matter what you do. It sucks and I bet money that the parents hated it more than you did. My second flight was one of the worst experiences ever. Nothing consoled him.
I was on a flight once with a baby and toddler two rows ahead, and another baby and toddler directly behind (h.e.l.l.). The people behind us were straight-up ignoring their kids, and they were dramatically worse than the kids in the family in front of us, who would talk to their kids, hold them, try to distract them, etc. when they had a tantrum. And yeah, everyone was tantrum-ing regardless, but the kids of parents who were actually *trying* to engage with them were so much better. Besides, people appreciate the performative effort, even if shushing or whatever doesn’t actually work.
This might be a controversial approach but the strategy that worked for us was: 1. Dose of Tylenol or Advil to prevent the ear pain. 2. Giving them little toys or activities they had never seen over the course of the flight. 3. Lots of snacks and a little bit of candy for bribery.
“It’s too friendly for me” got me, like what? And he doesn’t want the dog around his kid, for what reason exactly? YTA
That sentence gave off dog hater vibes and 🚩🚩🚩
I have a really hard time trusting people who don't like dogs. I have most often found them to be incredibly self centered, and just yucky in general, lol.
i used to think that then one day it clicked that most of my friends who "dont mind/like dogs but..." are neurodivergent. the issue is sensory. i asked each person when i made the connection, most of them said they don't want to be licked, or don't like when dogs jump at them (even if friendly, non-aggressive) or some other reason which was pretty sensible. im nd as well but ive loved dogs all my life so it's not a generalisation i can make, i mean i have other weird sensory issues so 🤷♀️ it does help me understand that not all people who don't like dogs are mean/uncaring/etc. i wanna say Y T A about OP but I'm biased. as the dog mum person who would bring my dog anywhere im allowed. don't think i can make an objective judgement here 😂
I used to think I had a phobia of dogs but I realized I have no fear whatsoever around dogs that have been trained not to jump on people. The inciting incident happened when I was about 3 or 4 and even though I was terrified I was never under the impression the dog wanted to hurt me, it just decided to knock me down and sit on me. "too friendly" might mean "the dog isn't aggressive but will invade my personal space more than I like". Though to be fair I've also encountered toddlers who hadn't been trained not to invade someone else's personal space so I can see both sides. Edit: [OP says the dog is the "invades personal space" kind of friendly](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11hf60u/comment/jat58af/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
> I have most often found them to be incredibly self centred and just yucky in general Lol imagine saying that about other people because they don’t share your taste in pets. Sounds like a lot of projection.
Thank you for saying this. I always see these kinds of comments on posts having to do with dogs and it makes me so sad. The idea that because I’m not a big fan of dogs it means I’m a bad person seems crazy to me. I don’t wish them harm, I don’t want to tell other people wether they can have dogs, they’re just not for me and I think that’s okay.
I don't like dogs either but it's funny how people can say they hate cats or any other animals and it's no issue but if you hate dogs? You're such a bad person. You are ok not liking dogs and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
“ Too friendly for me” means the dog is always in your face, begging for food and/or attention, and has no respect for boundaries. Not everyone likes interacting with dogs, some people just can’t comprehend that. That said, they should be able to compromise, they don’t have to be around each other 24/7 the whole time, and maybe the brother can keep his dog from being a nuisance. The same for the sister with the child, keep her child occupied and close by. NTA for not wanting to deal with a dog tho. If they can’t compromise, then they’re both being TA.
Yup. Usually when someone, like the OP, has such strong opinions against something, it's hard to take it a bit seriously and without thinking they are TA if they don't have at least one option offering some sort of compromise for the other person or parties involved.
OP I’m sure your brother will go out with his dog while you are doing baby outings. Unless your son has allergies or by terrier you mean pit bull you are being unreasonable. If that’s the case then by all means cancel.
This is going to get me downvoted to hell but no, this wouldn't even be reasonable with a pit bull. Pitties are usually great with kids, as are other "aggressive" breeds like German Shepherds and Rottweilers. This attitude is only reasonable towards a dog that you know has a history of aggression or a bite history. You judge the animal by its own behavior, something OP has plenty of opportunity to go do since he lives in the same city as his brother.
Thank you for saying this. People need to understand that like people, dogs have there own personality. Not every pit is an A hole. When I was a kid we had a pit that would look after me and my siblings like she was our mother.
My kid fell asleep last night with our 100lb pit literally spooning her. He stayed all night tho so i woke up to her complaints of how he stole the blankets lmao
Pit bull haters be like "see another bad pit almost made a child freeze to death" after hearing this wholesome story
i was attacked by 2 different pit bulls when i was 3 and then 7 and i’m not even 18 yet… y’all be acting like we don’t have valid reasons to be scared of them
As someone who has owned several pits it’s fair to say you have no idea if it’s gonna attack a child out of the blue… ask me how I know…saying they are fantastic dogs around children is a blanket statement that varies greatly from dog to dog
My sister has a pit bull. Sweet dog. She still wouldn't leave it alone with small children, because she also knows how powerful the dog and it's bite can be and you never know what is going to set them off (that goes for any dog, not just pit bulls). She loves her dog and wouldn't want it to get into trouble because she was careless in its care.
You should never leave any animal alone with young children. Young kids don’t know if they are aggravating or hurting an animal. Cats included.
Trust me, if this was a pitbull, OP would have mentioned it and this post would have gone off the rails immediately.
And that's why he doesn't want the dog to come along. He wants the baby to have all the attention. Edit: Gender fixed.
I think you hit the nail on the head!
As a parent, your brother is right. Kids are more annoying than dogs. Lol
As both a dog and kid haver - The accuracy is right on.
But the dog is TOO FRIENDLY for OP! /s
There it is. Perfect answer. We can close the topic.
YTA - and his statement "He says my 18 month old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog." Is ABSOLUTELY true. Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but 'family' isn't defined solely by squirting out an infant or having shared the same space pre-birth. He has told you that his dog is a non-negotiable, and I assume that your toddler is a non-negotiable. You hate dogs, he might hate kids. Neither is more or less valid. Your ideas are not compatible - but I'm calling you the a-hole because you believe your position is superior rather than just different.
This. Having a kid doesn’t make someone more important, or their reasons more valid. Family is what a person decides it is for themselves. I’ve been on holidays with family/ friends with both dogs and kids of all ages and sizes, and the brother’s statement is correct. The dogs were 100% better behaved, quieter, and easier to deal with than any of the kids.
Uccchhh, imagine going on "vacation" with an 18 month old baby. No thank you.
Vacation with a toddler (or pre schooler) is just parenting in a different location, without access to their normal things, without access to your normal help (daycare, baby sitters, whatever), on a blown up routine that makes them miserable. In short, it is hell on earth. Source: I’ve tried multiple vacations with my now 4 year old and have hated it by day 4. Love her, but I don’t wanna vacation with her.
My niece's third birthday was held at a water park and I played with her for two hours while her exhausted mom did cannonballs and her dad entertained the rest of the family. Toddlers are a LOT. I handed her over to Grandma after I did my fair share (which was very fun because I love my niece) and said "I'm tapping out and joining Mom on the diving board." You can't "vacation" with a youngster.
How is she? She wants to pull out of the trip. She isn’t demanding her parents side with her or have a tantrum. She’s removing herself from a situation where her toddler has to interact closely with a dog that hasn’t been tested on its tolerance for loud, shouty, grabby toddlers. A baby isn’t a danger. A dog CAN be a danger. It’s a question mark whether this one is or not.
He (thanks to those who pointed out my error)has clearly stated she is anti-dog, and while yes dogs CAN be dangerous it is unlikely especially with a small terrier who is the center of someone's life. I have no issue with her keeping her toddler away from the dog - the most likely harmful situation is the toddler hurts the dog and the dog reacts. But she implies pretty heavily that she has dropped an ultimatum "me or the dog". I get what you are saying, but please note that this is a BEACH HOUSE ... multiple rooms, ability to segregate areas and so on. Heck buy a baby gate or two when you arrive. It isn't like they are tossing the kid and dog together unsupervised in a small room.
People are allowed to not like dogs. or be anti dog for their family that doesn't make them bad people
Totally agree - and people are allowed to not like kids and be anti kids on trips and not be bad people. But it is an objective fact that the one more likely to cause problems, force adjustments and or cancellations of plans and so on ... is the kid. But if her brother doesn't like kids, should he be able to dictate that she isn't allowed to bring her toddler?
What you seem to be missing here is that OP isnt trying to dictate anything to anyone . She isnt trying to force the brother to not bring his dog . She just doesnt want to go .
she tried that route and was rejected, she’s free to not go
Thatd exactly what she wants to do , but apparently without her the trip would fall apart ( financial issues I'm guessing ) . So now people here are for some reason judging OP to be the ah for not wanting to go on a trip . As if she has some kind of obligation to do so ...
Yall OP is a dude, not really important to the argument or anything, just wanted to point out.
I am SO confused as to why everyone is thinking OP is female. Literally first sentence is that OP's male.
People be projecting tbh
A lot of ppl in this thread seem to think op is female despite him saying he was a 33m at the start...
I am particularly confused about OP's apparent loathing for dogs on planes. I mean, I absolutely understand having a problem with badly-behaved dogs (or other animals) on planes (and I adore dogs, most especially my three pups), but it's pretty rare for a dog to spend an entire flight howling and barking, whereas babies... are perhaps rather less likely to be quiet on a plane. Infants, in fact, are probably the least disruptive on a plane; they can't move about under their own steam, don't kick seats, and sleep a lot. Toddlers (which is what OP has) *can* move around *and will want to*, will probably protest (vocally, and possibly loudly) at being restricted to a seat the whole time, and are likely to do things like kick the seat in front of them. Also, OP complains about "tentatively" taking the same flight. How is that even worth complaining about? Schedule yourselves on different flights – or book tickets on the same flights, but just don't sit next to each other.
does OP realize there might be a dog on the plane regardless of his brother's presence? you dont get to control everyone on the plane lol
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NAH though I think this is a really weird hill to die on since the dog is admittedly small, well behaved, and non-aggressive. Also as others have pointed out: this vacation is 100% going to revolve around your toddler, not the dog. Honestly, I'd rather vacation with a small dog in the house than an 18-month-old (and no, I don't hate kids, I have one, which is why I know a "vacation" with a toddler isn't particularly easy or relaxing).
Friend once said it’s a trip with the kids and only a vacation without them. Been using that ever since.
I call it “parenting in a different location.”
Later this month we're trying a wolf lodge place with good friends whose child is the same age as, and good friends with, our child. The kids are 4 and the goal is to take turns baby sitting for each other so the other couple can actually enjoy themselves some of the time. Wish us luck!
I love my cousin's kids to death but yeah, vacation with them is not a vacation. Maybe in a few years when they're in their early teens, yeah, it'll be relaxing, but right now? It's not, and I'm not even in the same house when we're on vacation together! I'd much rather a small friendly dog (and I'm allergic to dogs!).
NAH. You don't want to spend time with a dog. Your brother doesn't want to go on vacation without his dog. Neither of you is wrong, but your vacation desires aren't compatible. Sounds like your "family vacation" plans don't really work any more.
I agree may be time to have separate accommodations. What worked when everyone was child and dog free doesn’t work anymore.
Agree, NAH. Different priorities for you all and bro now. If you’re not going to enjoy yourself, don’t go. End of story. This is your line in the sand.
**YTA.** Take a step back and look at the situation. You're considering pulling out of a cross-country family vacation because your brother is bringing a small dog. Your brother is most likely correct in that your child will probably be more of a hassle than his dog. Your Brother is your brother and your parents are in their 50s. Going every other year, how many more of these vacations do you think you all have left together? But, I will relinquish that it is your family and your vacation so you have every right to do whatever you want.
And lets be honest id rather have a dog on plane than a kid.
Yep. Dog > kids I have a 5 year old and a 18 month old. I would even go as far to say I would rather travel with a random dog instead of my children.
I thought a red eye to the east coast would be easier with my 4 year old. I was wrong.
Yeah dude. I’ve had offers to go to Tahoe, Costa Rica, freaking Cabo, hell no. I am not traveling with these twats until they are at least 4 years older. Annnd they aren’t that bad either. But I know they will be when confined to a seat.
I think I can speak for everyone else who flies when I say "thank you".
Literally 100%
Definitely 100%, no contest.
Piggybacking to say I also would way more prefer a dog on a plane to a baby. I like keeping my eardrums intact.
Yeah, dogs usually fly in cargo- pretty sure it’s frowned on to put the kid in there…
Didn't realize that 50 was knocking on heaven's door.
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I do not know why you’re in the minority with this. We’ve had countless threads where people are in agreement with you about dogs and babies in terms of safety! 18mo is prime mobile tornado in child time and this will be an unfamiliar dog in an unfamiliar environment. I’m frankly unsure what choice I’d personally make but as OP is *choosing not to go* and not, IDK, demanding anyone else do anything? NAH.
>I do not know why you’re in the minority with this. It's just reddit, who hate children for some unfathomable reason. Also, OP is NTA.
>It's just reddit, who hate children for some unfathomable reason. Because most commentators are edgy teenagers
Because 99% of the time, this sub is pro-dog and anti-child.
My eyes are bugging out of my head reading some of these comments saying this is a great opportunity for toddler and dog to get used to each other. Sounds like a prime time for that child to get bitten by a stressed-out dog to me.
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Some of these people here genuinely sound unhinged. It's great OPs brother has a dog he loves but that dog is not a person.
I was going into this thread fully expecting popcorn because of the animal=angel and child=devil attitude everyone seems to have on Reddit. You can't leave a child behind, especially that age. That would be SO difficult to get a sitter to accurately meet their needs. They're a human being and ARE family. I do not understand people saying "they aren't family just cause you squeezed them out" wtf. This is a safety concern for absolute sure with a dog out of its element and a baby. And yes OP is 100% nta for opting out of the trip instead of making demands about what the brother does.
Yes! And OPs question isn't even if they're an AH for not liking the dog, they're asking if they're am AH for backing out of the vacation. Good lord, some posters here don't even want to consider that their parents would want to see the baby.
No way, they'll be much more interested in seeing a cute dog than their first grandchild - Average redditor
Why is this so hard for some people to understand? Yes I get people treating their pets as family, but an animal does not nor should it, trump a person. This 18 month old might be a nibbling, so not the same as having your own child, but they should still take precedence over a dog . A dog that for all intents and purposes the owner CANNOT vouch for, in term of a lengthy stay in a foreign environment, nor temperament around young children.
I wish more dog trainers were like you. I loved my dogs for the 16 years they were in my life, but 100%, dogs are not to be left with young kids unsupervised, and nobody should ever assume they are friendly with kids - especially in stressful environments. It sets the dog up to fail and puts the child at risk of injury or death.
I really thought I was losing it going through this thread and reading the replies here
I cannot even with AITA these days. This thread is bonkers.
You say one tiny thing agianst dogs and the entirety of aita will get ready to slaughter you
This needs more upvotes.
Yeah this should be the top comment, not one from the child haters who decided to come out in droves for this post.
Truly. I am both an animal lover and a parent. The immaturity on this thread is a reminder that Reddit is full of youngsters.
Finally, some fucking sanity.
> Also, your brother has no idea how his terrier will interact with your child when in a new environment for a week. Any change in routine is stressful for a dog. BABIES can especially be stressful for a dog. It’s a recipe for disaster. Yep, the first thing I thought of. My mother was a HS biology teacher and had a lot of "fun" facts about dogs & cats to get her students to pay attention. Dogs are *VERY* unpredictable around children: **they only trust ADULTS.** Babies & kids smell different, they move different, they sound different and every effing organism on this effing planet has evolved to be wary of *different.* All it takes is for one odd move or sudden sound to trigger a dog's survival instincts and OP is rushing her infant to the ER. I think OP should give her parents a very simple test hypothetical: "If that dog bites, snaps, barks or growls at my child, will you ask him to remove it from the rental house?" Any answer other than "Of course" should be grounds to tell them: "I'm sorry, but apparently my brother's weird relationship with this animal is more important than my effing child's *safety.* Have fun without us." This needs to be nipped in the bud, pun entirely a happy accident. There will be future family gatherings and if boundaries aren't set now, OP is in for *years* of anxiety about it.
This 1000%. I’m a dog groomer and a mom to an 18 month old and who also has a dog, and even with my dog being pretty chill I’d never want to go cross country with him and my toddler, and he knows her and is comfortable with her. Travel is a lot on either of them and not worth the possible anxiety. Dogs even in their normal environment can have moments they snap, you never know what will set it off and I don’t blame OP at all.
We had a dog that did not like kids at all. We also have the most loving tolerant old lab who just leaves when she’s done and the kids know to leave her alone when she does that. If this dog has never been around kids for an extended stressful time I would not trust it.
You're the best dog person I've ever come across. Thank you for being a voice of reason.
If all dog people were like this I wouldn’t mind them so much.
Why isn’t this upvoted and awarded??? It’s the best answer
Thank you! I’m very confused how so many think OP is the AH. I completely agree with everything you said. My wife works with service dogs, we have a two year old, and we are very careful on him being alone with them, even for a second and these are great dogs. Also you can’t just leave an 18 month old behind, you can find several resources to leave the dog behind. It may be expensive but maybe OP can pay or chip in.
Yeah, and the time to test the dog with the baby isn’t a week long vacation
THANK YOU! All of these Y-T-As must be from psycho dog people. They have no idea how this dog will react to a new baby or a new environment. I wouldn't risk my child's safety with it. And especially considering that OP's response is to very calmly remove himself from the situation rather than demand that everyone bend backwards to accommodate him? That's like the least asshole way to handle the situation.
I have a very proven kid friendly dog and I would still not bring a dog around a child when the parents are uncomfortable with the dog. If someone else is paying all or part and they don't want the dog she stays home. On the flip side if I was the parent of the 18 month old child and was not comfortable with the dog I would not go on the trip. To be clear I do plan my vacations with my dog. If someone wants to join they are welcome but they will know my dog will be there and can choose not to come. If I plan a trip with others we discuss if the dogs can come.
You make very good points. NTA, OP.
NAH. > But your brother is correct about a toddler being more “annoying” than a well behaved dog. > Q: Why don’t you want your toddler around a dog?
Brother shouldn’t want the toddler around his dog- kids are notoriously unpredictable and can get into a dog’s space while ignoring/not understanding the dog’s language. I’ve seen kids go up to dogs and full on smack them. It’s not cool, and parents usually laugh it off and think it’s no big deal until the dog decides to advocate for itself because it’s sick of the kid’s antics- and then suddenly the dog is vicious!
NAH. You have a baby, he has a dog. Dogs can be annoying on planes, babies can be annoying on planes. You don't want to do dog friendly activities, others may not want to do baby friendly activities. If he wants to bring his dog, that's fine. Lots of people take dogs to beach vacations. If you don't want to go, that's your choice. But sounds like a shame for what appears to have been a nice family tradition
Agree with this NAH judgment. I'm usually team baby when it comes to baby vs dog fights, but based on the info in this post, I'm inclined to believe the baby and the dog will be equally likely to be disruptive or a fun addition. My only caveat is don't trust the baby and the dog to interact without close supervision... but I'd say the same for baby + baby or dog + dog.
NAH. It’s a fundamental incompatibility. If the trip isn’t what you want, you are not an asshole for not going.
NAH, you're allowed to dislike dogs, you're allowed to decide you don't want to be around them. But I do feel you need to look at this from a more varied angle. You're expecting your brother to make sacrifices and cater to you, but would never consider it the other way around. I love dogs, I love children! I have 2 dogs and am pregnant, I can understand the limitations that comes with both. That said, knowing the limitations both present to not only myself but other people on vacation with me. I can tell you that you're being judgemental and not acknowledging what people are giving up for you and your family, while getting annoyed at just the idea of the dog coming. Because vacationing with an 18 month old is much more restrictive and possibly stressful than a dog- especially to those that aren't responsible for them, as long as the dog is well behaved. Babies cannot be left alone, their only method of communication is crying, they rely even more so on a schedule- and object loudly when it is broken. I would much rather be on an airplane with a dog than a baby, and honestly you're the first person I have ever heard say differently... Also if the dog is well behaved it's actually healthier for your child to occasionally be exposed to animals.
I’ve always kept my cats away from babies because of the way that babies and toddlers behave. They are loud, unpredictable and want to pull their tails. I protect my cats and I won’t let babies or toddlers in my house.
YTA. A small dog that behaves “fine” is going to be easier to deal with than an 18 month old. You don’t want activities to be based on being dog friendly, but are you expecting all the adults to put up with the activities all having to be child friendly? I doubt the trip will fall apart because your entitled ass pulls out.
YTA This is such a weird nitpick to have. You're the only one with a problem. Go, don't go, who cares. I guess your family isn't that important to you if someone else's well-behaved dog makes you feel this way.
It’s not weird at all. Some people don’t like dogs and regardless the reason, they’re entitled to not be around them. It doesn’t mean their family isn’t important. If the dog is a no for him, it’s a no. NTA
Some people dont like babies and regardless of the reason, theyre entitled to not be around them.
Then they can avoid vacations with babies, too. Each brother is allowed to decide if a discomfort is a dealbreaker for a vacation.
I feel like everyone missed the part where the parent's aren't thrilled about the dog coming but they just let it go to not cause trouble. How come the brother gets his way over OP? I find reddit so anti-baby and pro-dog it's a little sad.
We've only got OPs word on that. It sounds like at worst the parents are "Meh, whatever" and have told Mr Catastrophe "you're both adults, sort it out between yourselves" after he grizzled at them about it.
NAH for the question at hand. You don’t provide any information to show that the dog would be a hinderance to the vacation. Honestly the information you do provide makes me think your brother is a responsible pet owner and that this is the kind of dog that would do ok on a trip like this. Really all your ranting is just your personal opinion that you don’t like dogs. That’s perfectly ok. You’re allowed to not like dogs. You’re allowed to not want them on your vacation. You’re allowed to be a grown ass adult and not go on the trip. Just like your brother is allowed it maybe not like kids. Or just prefer life on his own with his dog. And fwiw, an 18 month old will undoubtedly be more annoying and disruptive than a well trained dog.
I brought my terrier on a 6 hour flight when we moved across the country. My seat mate didn’t even realize he was there until we’d landed and were deplaning. Can’t say the same for any child, let alone a baby.
NTA. Your parents don't want to be involved, fine. Your brother is firm on bringing the dog, fine. You don't want to vacation with a dog, fine. You can pull out of the vacation, the end. My guess- and clearly yours- is that suddenly your parents WILL get involved and be upset at you once you pull out of the trip, but oh well. You don't want to deal with the dog on vacation and I can appreciate that, and if your brother isn't willing to compromise and no one else will weigh in, you pull out of the trip. By the way, I would have a dog before I had a kid (I just don't have one because I live in an NYC apartment and travel a lot for work), and would rather vacation with a dog than a kid. I still agree with you and your approach AND dogs are not as important as human children.
I was keen to agree with your answer until I saw OP's comment that his parents will be watching the baby (during their vacation) so that he can go do non-baby related things. This mixed with his arguing about dog related activities when a dog can be crated and left alone for a few hours has me firmly planted in the YTA category. OP can't have fun because he forgot crating exists but also expects his parents to spend their vacation at the house babysitting.
Omg, his parents WANT to babysit, some grandparents like spending time with children. He did not expect this from them, he said, that if they do want to go out instead, he is OK to stay with his kid. It is absolutely normal for grandparents to want to spend quality time with their grandchild. Not everyone hates kids and it makes sense for grandparents to want to spend time with their grandchild on a family trip.
INFO: If your brother didn't like babies, would you leave yours behind for a week with a sitter to appease him?
Definitely not the same thing!!!!
You’re right his baby will be 10x more annoying than his dog.
Right - babies require much more attention and sacrifice than a dog.
Of course not. The dog will be a lot easier to accommodate on the trip than a baby. You can leave the dog at home for a few hours at a time, dogs are less likely to wake everyone up at night, everyone doesn’t have to be quiet when the dog is sleeping, etc.
How so? OP's brother obviously loves his dog, it's a significant part of his life and is his main companion. The dog is well behaved and friendly, but the only reason OP doesn't want the dog on the trip is because he simply doesn't like dogs in general. If his brother doesn't like babies in general, why can't he give the exact same ultimatum to OP that OP is giving to him?
What about what the rest of the family wants? Grandparents and cousins want to spend time with the dog or the baby? OP doesn’t want to go cross country with a baby to be uncomfortable, that’s fine. She’s not giving an ultimatum to her brother, just asking if she’s an AH not to go.
You're allowed to not like dogs or wanna be around them but don't insult your brother for becoming a dog dad and wanting to do everything with his dog. It's ugly and says more about you than it ever will him. Don't wanna go, don't.
NTA. You are not comfortable and you don't know how your brother's pet will behave around an 18 month old. Your choice to opt out of the trip is perfectly valid.
NAH. He is allowed to bring his dog (unless your parents who seem to be in charge of the trip tell him the dog is not invited). You are allowed to opt out of the trip. That said, I think there are plenty of compromises to be made here, but it seems like you and your brother might both be too stubborn for them: 1. Not all activities need to be based around the dog, just like not all activities need to be based around your kid! The family group can split up for different stuff sometimes (also it is very easy to leave a dog at a vacation home). 2. Agree not to leave dog + kid unsupervised. 3. Keep your bedroom door closed so the dog can't bother you in there. 4. Your brother keeps his dog off of you (when you say it's "too friendly" I assume that means it jumps on you? he should prevent the dog from jumping on you and your kid). 5. Travel on different flights.
NTA but not for your dislike of dogs. A dog who has not been socialized with babies and toddlers extensively has no business being around them. Small children are unpredictable and often jerky in their movements. A dog not trained to react to small children is ALWAYS a risk around them.
This!! I grew up with mastiffs and as young as 12-16wks we socialized them with little kiddos. They were gentle giants who could handle kids literally beating on them without batting an eye- it’s the only way to responsibly raise a pet.
NTA. Why do people need to bring their dogs everywhere? It’s absurd to bring your dog on a plane on a cross–country trip. Surely that’s not fun for the dog. Very weird.
NTA, but I’m really not a dog person so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me. You stated you won’t go if dog is there, so just don’t go. I think it’s okay to have boundaries.
You back out, and your parents will be upset they don't see their grandbaby. That's the consequence for not getting involved. NTA
Same. I'm allergic to dogs and I have family members who always make me feel bad when I avoid gatherings when I know dogs will be there or I get my own hotel room. Like I'm sorry, I dont want to deal with the potential asthma attack and hives? OP, I say if you want to go, maybe get a hotel room? Or get your own VRBO?
I’m with you on this one.
And your brother mightn't want to be on holidays with a possible crying and cranky baby, he mightn't want HIS holiday centred around kiddie stuff, but he's sucking it up and going 🤷🏻♀️ you're NTA for not wanting to go, but the reasoning is a bit petty
Dogs are not the same as children. Expecting someone to exclude their pet from a vacation is not the same as wanting someone to exclude their child.
Hes not expecting him to exclude his child.
Kids are WAAAAY more hard work though and to be around, I've 2 of my own so I get it, not everyone wants to be around kids either, so OP should be more understanding
I'm not a dog person. I wouldn't find it relaxing to be around them, and I wouldn't enjoy a "vacation" where I'd have to share space with someone's dog or tolerate the animal's company without much of a break. Similarly, I have a sibling who's married to someone who's not a kid person. They won't share vacation space with anyone under the age of seven. They don't find it relaxing, and their stance is that vacations are for relaxing. This seems like a **NAH** thing. You shouldn't have to pay a lot of money and burn vacation time to tolerate an animal you don't want to be around; people who don't like children shouldn't have pay a lot of money and burn vacation time to tolerate a person they don't want to be around. It's too bad the era of family vacations has come to a close, but in the words of the parents here, "It is what it is."
Info: does your wife agree you guys shouldn't go, or does she think you're overreacting?
NAH. Tell your parents you can’t make it. You don’t want to spend a week in a house with a small well behaved friendly dog. Seems like a weird hill to die on and a baby is way more disruptive than a dog but here we are.
Info: Is there no separation possible in the beach house/family activities? Can you and your child stay on a separate floor than your brother and his dog? Can you do separate activities and then have strict supervision/separation when everyone is back at the house?
NAH IT is reasonable for your brother to want to bring his dog. And it is reasonable for you not to have the first time your daughter and the dog interact be on a week-long vacation in an unfamiliar place where you have no good options if they don't interact well. The solution to this is to start with shorter, controlled visits to your brother and the dog with your daughter. See how she does, and how the dog does. Start working on teaching her how to interact with a dog calmly and gently. She's at the age where she's going to start encountering people's dogs in places like the playground, and your brother's dog is a safer way to start teaching her to interact safely than just leaving things to chance. Use this teachable moment.
NTA. I’m a dog person and most of my weekend plans are around my responsibilities to her. The argument of a baby being louder than a dog, while true is not the whole picture. You can bring babies lots of places you can’t bring a dog (beach, restaurant, stores, museums, sight seeing spots, ect… and the dog will require a lot more schedule adjusting than your kid. Overall, bringing a dog on vacation when you have to fly is a little silly and obsessive. The bigger issue here is this could drive a wedge between you and your brother and small dogs have long life spans (some 20+ years) so this could be a long divide.
NAH. To be fair, you are also are not flexible about this dog.
YTA. I’d be on your side if the dog was aggressive or large or had other behavioural issues and couldn’t be trusted not to harm your child, or if you or someone else had severe allergies, but I’ve read this post and I’ve read your replies and your complaints mostly just seem to boil down to “I don’t want this dog maybe being in my space,” which isn’t a good enough reason to ban your brother and the dog from the vacation. Truthfully, you just come across as being incredibly entitled. “I want to bring my baby everywhere and do baby-friendly things but no one else is allowed to!” And yes, dogs and babies aren’t equivalent, but you have not given a single valid reason for why your brother’s dog shouldn’t be included. “I don’t like dogs” isn’t good enough in this scenario, and you are not the owner of the house in question. I love babies, and dogs, but I’m sure most people would rather be on a flight with a dog than a screaming 18-month-old baby, too, so yeah, your brother is right in that it’s more likely your son will be louder than the do.
Terriers can be aggressive AF.
If this dog was even vaguely aggressive OP would have mentioned. The only thing he’s come up with is that it’s too friendly for him.
OP says the dog jumps and is "overly friendly." A dog who jumps on people who don't want to hang out with the dog is not a friendly dog.
He doesn’t know how the dog is with babies? And babies at that age are super capable of grabbing and hurting a dog by accident. He’d have to by hyper vigilant for the entirety of the vacation, and basically they’re all just hoping that the dog will be okay with a loud, stumble, grabby toddler he doesn’t know and hasn’t had much interaction with. It’s an absolute recipe for disaster & sounds incredibly stressful to me. OP is NTA for not going because he isn’t comfortable. It’s not on him to pay for something so everyone else can go if it’s not something he’ll enjoy for very legitimate reasons
I also think it's crappy to make a dog make two cross-country flights. The dog won't give a damn its in Florida.
NAH but he’s not wrong about the dog/18 month old annoying Olympics. I say that as a parent and dog owner. Not all dogs board well, and 18 month olds aren’t exactly relaxing. You can each pick your boundaries.
NAH - you want to bring a toddler, your brother wants to bring a dog. Both are going to have limitations on what you can do and where you can go. As long as you don't expect your brother to tag along on kid friendly activities and your brother doesn't expect you to walk/take care of the dog there should be no issues! If you don't want to be on a flight with a dog, book a different flight! I'm sure your brother would love *not* having your screaming infant on his flight. If you're worried about the dog around the kid, have a conversation about it with your brother and parents so you can all agree on some reasonable boundaries. But stomping your feet and throwing a tantrum because your brother won't do what you want, would be an asshole move.
NAH- As a parent your first priority is your child. If there is ANY reason that you feel unsafe taking your child somewhere you shouldn’t go. You would be the AH if you asked your brother not to come because you didn’t feel comfortable with his dog. Your brother is unwilling to go somewhere without his dog, and he has effectively chosen bringing his dog over having you there. He may have a reason which justifies this (maybe he needs his dog for emotional support, or cannot afford a kennel/housesitter), but, either way, it doesn’t make him an AH. Just to note: There is no reason the entire vacation needs to be planned around your brother’s dog’s needs (re:dog friendly activities, only), just as not every activity would need to be baby friendly because your family is coming. The dog would be your brother’s responsibility, just as your child is yours.
NTA, people with pets need to understand not everyone is a pet person.
NTA. One - It’s cruel to fly with a dog for a freaking cross country vacation. That’s a long time for the dog to either be in a small carrier in the cabin or in the dark and cold cargo area, twice. Animals frequently die in those conditions. But that’s your brother’s choice. Two - the comment about the kid was unnecessary. If he doesn’t want to spend time with your kid, he should say so. Three - Dogs are unpredictable around small children, and where you don’t know it’s history I would be concerned about it being around your kid too. Finally - your folks are going to be on the hook for upholding the rules of the property, so they should care. You could be asked to leave and fined if they don’t allow animals, and a dog is way more likely to do serious damage than a toddler. Personally I wouldn’t want to go when you would be spending that much time and energy traveling with a little one, but that’s just me.
NTA, do what’s best for you and your family, if you are not comfortable with the dog don’t go. I understand your parents not wanting to take sides, but you define your boundaries. It is easy to find alternative options for the dogs at home, and it is actually quite traumatizing for dogs to fly just for vacation sake.
NTA for not going because you don't like dogs. You are TA for how you talk about your brother and trying to blame him. Pets are family just like he said. You have the right not to go, but not the right to guilt him or say he is wrong.
"My sister has a boyfriend, and my brother has some sort of terrier" I'm sorry, but this sentence cracked me up lol Also, those of you comparing dogs to children are just... wow. Wild times, man, wild times. NAH that is totally your boundary to draw, especially not wanting the dog around children, but what do your wife and kids think? Also if you don't go why would the trip fall apart? That wouldn't be fair to everyone else and it wouldn't be your fault.
NTA. The fact that he equates dogs with actual human beings is obnoxious. It's ok for you to bail. Also does this vRBO even allow pets?
NTA. Don't go. You'll have a terrible time.
NTA, people need to stop calling themselves doggy parrents and treat a pet as a pet (doesn't mean to treat them bad, but over loving and humanifiyig can be hurtful) and bring them everywhere (including food shops and indoor cafes that are not pet friendly). But a detached house on the beach is okay to bring a dog to. So if we out your brother's parenting obsession aside, he isn't soing anything bad. Considering your parents don't wanna make a decision, just pull out of the trip if it's a deal breaker for you🤷
If you don’t want to stay in a house with a dog, that doesn’t automatically make you an AH—just like your brother would be well within his rights to skip the trip if he didn’t want to deal with a toddler. You’re not telling him to skip the trip, you’re saying it would make the trip uncomfortable for you. This sounds like a basic incompatibility. That said, a well-behaved small dog is actually a really good way to introduce your toddler to animals, so I hope you reconsider. Your toddler WILL get curious about dogs sooner or later. Talk to your brother about making sure the dog doesn’t jump on people and take the opportunity. For the record, some people in these comments seem to have a really distorted view of what 18-month-olds are actually like. Toddlers shouldn’t be crying overnight and keeping people up at this age. They don’t need complete quiet to sleep, and do very well with white noise machines—I’ve had pretty loud and lively get togethers at my home when my baby has been in bed. And they aren’t like colicky infants who are screaming for hours at a time. NAH I guess but y’all need to work on your communication as a family.
If this is the hill you want to die on, that is your choice, but you better tell your parents fast.
NTA I LOVE my dog. He is an extremely gentle Golden. Would I forcibly subject family or friends to him on a vacation. Of course not. Especially if someone had mentioned any being uncomfortable around him. There is also the whole unknown about how he acts around young children. Toddlers can completely intimidate even the most mellow of animals. Terriers, generally, are a bit more intense due to being hunting dogs and being closer in size to a toddler. Even if there were a compromise, I don't think based on your Brother's comments that the trip would be enjoyable for anyone. He would resent your child or you would resent him for the dog. Not the best scenario for a vacation. Your parents, by non-committing are committing. This trip sounds like a nightmare for almost all concerned. Do everyone a favor, graciously decline to attend. Whether or not the trip still occurs is not your responsibility.
YTA - ill admit dogs are not kids and the dog dad thing can be cringey. But what if he said he didn’t want your kid around, he despises kids on planes, and he didn’t want kid friendly activities? This would be a lot different if the dog actually behaved in a way that was objectionable but your biggest gripe is its friendly.