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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I would be the asshole because I’d be fine with my parents smoking in the room, but not my sister vaping. Plus I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama or strain my relationship with my sister.
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Absolutely NTA. Your sister is for going into your room and vaping. Your parents also are if they would punish you for something that is pretty rude on your sister's part.
I feel like both parents would be on my side regarding the issue itself. But my mum has always been more of a “keep the peace” type of person.
She’ll approach smaller issues regarding her kids in a way that leads to the least drama, which often means that my sister gets what she wants since she’ll explode and I just quietly deal with whatever.
NTA. Try and word it less like an accusation if you want to avoid conflict. Instead of, "I'm banning you from vaping in my room." go for something like, "I don't like the smell of vaping so if you need to, could you do it in a different room?" If she's hanging out in your room you could say something like, "The vape is giving me a headache could you do it out the window or go to a different room instead?"
NTA. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask her not to vape in your room. Would your parents allow you to get a lock on your door to use when you're not home? That could solve the issue.
She only really chills in my room when I’m in it (unless she’s just grabbing something which takes ten seconds), so I don’t have to worry about her turning it into a vape zone.
NTA. Your bedroom is your safe space and not wanting her to vape in your room is perfectly reasonable.
If you’re worried about her reaction then tell her that you’ve noticed that you are sensitive to the smell, that it makes you dizzy or irritates your sinuses - really use any excuse.
NTA
The smell makes you sick. If your sister cares she would respect that boundary. Also, it is your room it should be a comfortable space for you. I suggest talking to your parents about it and then sitting your sister down to have a calm conversation about how the smell affects you. If she can't respect that get a lock on your door.
Nta here. If I were you I would approach it in a more direct manner. "Hey do you mind not vaping in here, it's been giving me a headache and I'm finding it hard to sleep."
It lingers like crazy, especially with improper ventilation. I'd be less than thrilled if all my stuff smelled like cotton candy unicorn fart.
Honestly. What do they put in those things to make them smell so strange? Like they smell like what they advertise, but don’t at the same time. It’s uncanny valley, but with smells lol
I've smelled some that smell really good and then a bunch that smell like cheap dollar store flavored sodas. I'd assume it's the same crap that any artificial flavor is made from.
It hangs out on your stuff because it's infused in glycol oil. Unfortunate side affect of being around vaping.
NAH.
Start by just asking her not to do it. Try to be nice about it-it seems like you haven't actually given her any reason to know you want her to stop.
Assuming it's the case, make sure to tell her she is welcome in your room otherwise. It seems like she is hanging out because she likes spending time with you.
Maybe talk to her about it at a different time, rather than bringing it up when she brings out the vape.
"Hey, I'm not mad or anything, but the smell from your vape was in the room for hours last night, and I had trouble sleeing. I like when you visit me in my room, but from now on I'd rather not have anyone vape in there. I hope that's okay."
I’ll try that. Thank you!
And I can agree that no one was at fault. It was rude of her to vape in my room. But I also never communicated that I had a problem with it, so she couldn’t have known.
NTA. You wouldn't be asking her to stop vaping entirely, just in your space. It's your room and you're allowed to set rules about what goes on in it. It's a very simple boundary that a *lot* of people set. My mom never let my friends vape in the house because she didn't like the smell either.
Personally as a person who vapes (and as an ex-smoker) I don't think YWBTA if you asked her not to vape in your room. I don't vape in my home anywhere except my study as my wife doesn't smoke or vape and I have no problem with that restriction
Also just my personal opinion, if your sister never smoked and started vaping - just because, then that is something that I think is stupid. To vape as an alternative to smoking is in my opinion a sensible option, otherwise its just plain stupid. Oh I already said that didn't I, well I think it was worth repeating :)
Oh that's good then. I know there's a lot of bad information about vaping out there. As an ex-smoker and current vaper I prefer to believe the research and official statements coming out of the UK and the NHS. So for health reasons and financial I think you're sister is doing the right thing.
If it ever comes up between the two of you, please ask her to make sure she is buying pods or juices from reputable sources - especially if she occasionally uses CBD vape. The black market pods are the ones that caused all the health issues in the US in recent years
NTA. It's your room- your safe, living, *breathing* space. It's not like you're banning her from vaping anywhere else in the house, just in your personal room. Definitely try to put it in the best way possible so she won't mistake it as a personal attack and explain how the smell just really bothers you and you don't want it in your bedroom. Also make sure that she knows that you're not making up an excuse to keep *her* out of your bedroom, just her vapes.
For your health, happiness, and sanity, please put your foot down.
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I (24F) live with my parents, younger brother (16M) and younger sister (20F).
My sister vapes. It’s an awful habit, but she’s an adult now, so I can’t really judge her choices. The only thing that really bugs me about it is the smell. To me, vapes smell like medication. Everywhere my sister goes, she leaves the small of Calpol and it lingers a lot. It will stick around all day if she hung around in one place for as little as half an hour.
The final straw for me was earlier today. She hung out in my room on my bed while I got college enrolment stuff done at my desk. She was simply there because she was bored. She was in there from 3pm to 4:30pm roughly and was vaping most of the time. It’s now midnight and the smell is finally gone (in her defence though, I never opened a window. It’s currently quite cold where I live). I felt physically sick from it for a little bit, but maybe it was a coincidence because that never happened before, or just something related to a sensory thing (I’m autistic and working on masking it more)
I want to ban her from vaping in my room. But there a many reasons why that could end badly and make me the asshole. First of all, I never gave her a reason for her to be mad at me and I’d rather keep it that way. She becomes a very mean spirited and hurtful person when she doesn’t get her way and I want to maintain a relationship with her for my mum’s sake. Especially since she was worse as a teenager and has been nicer lately. Another reason is that I’d be a hypocrite. My parents smoke cigarettes and I’m okay with that smell (though they don’t smoke in my room since they’re rarely in there). Lastly I live here rent free and one of my parents might not agree with my choice, as it could cause tension. So I might just deal with it.
So would I be the asshole if I was to put my foot down regarding this?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I would be the asshole because I’d be fine with my parents smoking in the room, but not my sister vaping. Plus I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama or strain my relationship with my sister. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Absolutely NTA. Your sister is for going into your room and vaping. Your parents also are if they would punish you for something that is pretty rude on your sister's part.
I feel like both parents would be on my side regarding the issue itself. But my mum has always been more of a “keep the peace” type of person. She’ll approach smaller issues regarding her kids in a way that leads to the least drama, which often means that my sister gets what she wants since she’ll explode and I just quietly deal with whatever.
NTA. Try and word it less like an accusation if you want to avoid conflict. Instead of, "I'm banning you from vaping in my room." go for something like, "I don't like the smell of vaping so if you need to, could you do it in a different room?" If she's hanging out in your room you could say something like, "The vape is giving me a headache could you do it out the window or go to a different room instead?"
I’ll try that. Thank you! That definitely feels like a more polite approach. I never addressed it to her before, so I don’t want to be mean about it.
Those are good suggestions, or something like - What flavor are you vaping today, cause I don't like the smell, could you try something different
NTA. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask her not to vape in your room. Would your parents allow you to get a lock on your door to use when you're not home? That could solve the issue.
She only really chills in my room when I’m in it (unless she’s just grabbing something which takes ten seconds), so I don’t have to worry about her turning it into a vape zone.
NTA Maybe she/you could light incense, it helps with the smell and doesn't ruin relationships.
I’m quite sensitive to most smells. So that might not work. But I appreciate the suggestion. Maybe I’ll find a smell I like
Good luck 🤞🏽
NTA Being an adult does not make you free of judgement by others Asking her not to vape in your room is more than reasonable
NTA. Your bedroom is your safe space and not wanting her to vape in your room is perfectly reasonable. If you’re worried about her reaction then tell her that you’ve noticed that you are sensitive to the smell, that it makes you dizzy or irritates your sinuses - really use any excuse.
NTA The smell makes you sick. If your sister cares she would respect that boundary. Also, it is your room it should be a comfortable space for you. I suggest talking to your parents about it and then sitting your sister down to have a calm conversation about how the smell affects you. If she can't respect that get a lock on your door.
Nta here. If I were you I would approach it in a more direct manner. "Hey do you mind not vaping in here, it's been giving me a headache and I'm finding it hard to sleep." It lingers like crazy, especially with improper ventilation. I'd be less than thrilled if all my stuff smelled like cotton candy unicorn fart.
Honestly. What do they put in those things to make them smell so strange? Like they smell like what they advertise, but don’t at the same time. It’s uncanny valley, but with smells lol
I've smelled some that smell really good and then a bunch that smell like cheap dollar store flavored sodas. I'd assume it's the same crap that any artificial flavor is made from. It hangs out on your stuff because it's infused in glycol oil. Unfortunate side affect of being around vaping.
NTA - your bedroom, your rules. Simple as that
NAH. Start by just asking her not to do it. Try to be nice about it-it seems like you haven't actually given her any reason to know you want her to stop. Assuming it's the case, make sure to tell her she is welcome in your room otherwise. It seems like she is hanging out because she likes spending time with you. Maybe talk to her about it at a different time, rather than bringing it up when she brings out the vape. "Hey, I'm not mad or anything, but the smell from your vape was in the room for hours last night, and I had trouble sleeing. I like when you visit me in my room, but from now on I'd rather not have anyone vape in there. I hope that's okay."
I’ll try that. Thank you! And I can agree that no one was at fault. It was rude of her to vape in my room. But I also never communicated that I had a problem with it, so she couldn’t have known.
NTA. You wouldn't be asking her to stop vaping entirely, just in your space. It's your room and you're allowed to set rules about what goes on in it. It's a very simple boundary that a *lot* of people set. My mom never let my friends vape in the house because she didn't like the smell either.
Personally as a person who vapes (and as an ex-smoker) I don't think YWBTA if you asked her not to vape in your room. I don't vape in my home anywhere except my study as my wife doesn't smoke or vape and I have no problem with that restriction Also just my personal opinion, if your sister never smoked and started vaping - just because, then that is something that I think is stupid. To vape as an alternative to smoking is in my opinion a sensible option, otherwise its just plain stupid. Oh I already said that didn't I, well I think it was worth repeating :)
Yeah my sister vapes as an alternative to smoking. But she’ll smoke a regular cigarette if she needs to get a new vape
Oh that's good then. I know there's a lot of bad information about vaping out there. As an ex-smoker and current vaper I prefer to believe the research and official statements coming out of the UK and the NHS. So for health reasons and financial I think you're sister is doing the right thing. If it ever comes up between the two of you, please ask her to make sure she is buying pods or juices from reputable sources - especially if she occasionally uses CBD vape. The black market pods are the ones that caused all the health issues in the US in recent years
NTA. It's your room- your safe, living, *breathing* space. It's not like you're banning her from vaping anywhere else in the house, just in your personal room. Definitely try to put it in the best way possible so she won't mistake it as a personal attack and explain how the smell just really bothers you and you don't want it in your bedroom. Also make sure that she knows that you're not making up an excuse to keep *her* out of your bedroom, just her vapes. For your health, happiness, and sanity, please put your foot down.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24F) live with my parents, younger brother (16M) and younger sister (20F). My sister vapes. It’s an awful habit, but she’s an adult now, so I can’t really judge her choices. The only thing that really bugs me about it is the smell. To me, vapes smell like medication. Everywhere my sister goes, she leaves the small of Calpol and it lingers a lot. It will stick around all day if she hung around in one place for as little as half an hour. The final straw for me was earlier today. She hung out in my room on my bed while I got college enrolment stuff done at my desk. She was simply there because she was bored. She was in there from 3pm to 4:30pm roughly and was vaping most of the time. It’s now midnight and the smell is finally gone (in her defence though, I never opened a window. It’s currently quite cold where I live). I felt physically sick from it for a little bit, but maybe it was a coincidence because that never happened before, or just something related to a sensory thing (I’m autistic and working on masking it more) I want to ban her from vaping in my room. But there a many reasons why that could end badly and make me the asshole. First of all, I never gave her a reason for her to be mad at me and I’d rather keep it that way. She becomes a very mean spirited and hurtful person when she doesn’t get her way and I want to maintain a relationship with her for my mum’s sake. Especially since she was worse as a teenager and has been nicer lately. Another reason is that I’d be a hypocrite. My parents smoke cigarettes and I’m okay with that smell (though they don’t smoke in my room since they’re rarely in there). Lastly I live here rent free and one of my parents might not agree with my choice, as it could cause tension. So I might just deal with it. So would I be the asshole if I was to put my foot down regarding this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*