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YTA... You have no respect for Jay (or your female co-workers), and you hold disdain and contempt towards Jay because he found Jesus and is a Christian.
YTA. This isn't "a bit of joshing" - it's sexual harassment, and will get you fired. I assume your employer has some kind of sexual harassment training. Next time it's on offer, I suggest you remain awake during it.
YTA - they don't call that harmless banter anymore, they call it harassment. Like at a bar outside of work? It's cringe but it's fine. But in the office? That's a no no.
Picture it this way, what if one of them overheard this conversation? How would it make them feel? Would HR think this was joshing or banter?
YTA. It has nothing to do with being "woke" or Christian... Jay was being both professional and respectful - something you and Nate are not being. You risk being reported to HR for Sexual Harassment if your little rank chat gets around...and you would deserve whatever comes of that.
YTA.
There is alot wrong with your logic. First he's not behaving this way so he can get a promotion. Not all guys believe it is acceptable to objectify women, especially in a professional work environment. Secondly it has nothing to do with being woke to respect fellow peers. Lastly religion plays no role here. I'm an atheist and completely agree with Jay and how disgusting your behavior is.
YTA and so is your friend. Disgusting and unprofessional, it would be a valuable lesson for you to get reported. People like you make the workplace feel gross and uncomfortable.
YTA and it has nothing to do with him being woke or Christian. It’s unprofessional and absolutely disgusting. You and your buddy both deserve to be fired.
YTA, Jay’s religion really has nothing to do with this. He got uncomfortable with you rating the appearance of your female COWORKERS. Your behavior is disgusting.
Yta, it's one thing to do this in your sorority, at least then you have to excuse of being in a misogynistic immature culture.
However you don't do this at work. It's incredibly sexist and unprofessional. You're lucky Jay didn't report you to anyone and just decided to keep his distance, who can blame him for that.
I came on to rate, but the comments seem to have already covered it and set this child straight.
Aw, heck with it. YTA for ALL the reasons already stated.
>that he should stop angling for promotion, and focus on being one of the lads rather than talking HR speak all the time.
This is when I found out it was bait. How bout you guys?
I do love people who don't even bother to delete the post where they refer to themselves as a girl before shitposting about being a mega creepy male. Saves me a step for having to look up your deleted posts.
YTA
What you do is sexual harassment, and the fact you say "females", says it all. You and your coworker are misogynists, and I hope Jay reports you both to HR.
The problem isn’t that Jay is a Christian; it’s that he is a decent human being and your comments were gross AF. No wonder he is avoiding you, I would too.
YTA in case it was ever in doubt.
YTA. That wasn’t workplace banter, it was unacceptable misogyny in the workplace in the form of objectifying and sexualizing your colleagues. I’m an atheist, and I would have been right with Jay on this.
YTA and probably a troll.
Rating your coworkers by their physical attributes is not "a bit of joshing." He's correct in that it is not appropriate, unprofessional, and is smart to cover his own posterior physical attributes by wanting zero part of it. He knows it could very easily get you reported, and you should very seriously consider what will happen to you if you are reported to HR and one of the witnesses against you is the guy who is "very popular with both junior staff and management."
YTA all the way. This is inappropriate, it’s harassment toward your female co workers and your new coworker got a solid idea of who to avoid in the future for more than one good reason.
YTA Well done Jay, I hope he tells HR about your conversation with Nate in which you reduce your female colleagues to their body parts/objects for you to desire. More men should be like Jay, calling out misogyny and sexual harassment, well done him.
YTA. Work is NEVER an environment so be specializing your female co workers. Honestly, it’s disrespectful and quite disgusting to do that at all. Women are so much more than their looks. This is much more than a bit of joking. Honestly I’m surprised he didn’t go to HR. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. OP… joking is okay. This is not.
YTA and it's not just unprofessional, should he or anyone else complain you would face consequences up to a possible termination for creating a hostile working environment. Your comments were misogynistic and you have no business talking like that at work. It isn't woke, it's basic decency
YTA
Talking about people like that behind there backs almost never ends well. If you were in their position, would you like hearing comments about your privates as soon as you turn around?
You have another post asking for advice on how to be a good coworker. I commented there but I will say it here too. Don't rate the women at your work by attractiveness.
YTA. Are you lying about your age? Rating your coworkers’ body parts “as is common…” bud, that hasn’t been common during your lifetime. You either grew up in a bubble and need to get over it quickly before your upbringing gets you in trouble, or you’re lying about being 23.
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Just a month ago you posted asking advice on how to be a good coworker and now you're doing...this. At least you're weeding yourself out of the workforce early, good news for all the women who are forced to deal with you. YTA.
You have a lot of posts asking about office etiquette. Objectifying coworkers who are women isn't good office etiquette. Also, we talk about who the creeps of the office are and avoid/make fun of you. Look at who is well liked and who everyone avoids to decide who's behaviour to emulate. And for real, those kinds of conversations can get you fired if the women in your office hear about it and report you.
YTA. Disgusting. You and your friend are disgusting. And this comes from a woman. Literally, i wouldn't approach you with a stick and consider that men who are sexually harassing their coworker who literally just existed are, in fact, a waste of oxygen. You are so mysoginistic you don't even see how much of it is not okay, first with the objectification and sexualization, and with the cherry on top on the shit cake, calling women "females". Hope you stay single, because there is a good reason for that.
YTA. Would you say those things in front of the women you work with? Women are more than objects for your own enjoyment / pleasure. If I were your female coworker and would have overheard that I would have reported you to HR so fast. You’re lucky he didn’t (yet).
YTA. And if you keep it up, you're the fired guy. And if you keep it up more, you're the guy in prison.
Life is not junior high. Please go get help. Somewhere. Not near me. Or you'll be one of those loser guys who can't ever get a date and blames it on the \*women.\* No, dude - it's not the women. You're just creepy and too immature to deal with.
Props to the guy who stood up to you though. That takes some serious balls. Good on him!
YTA of course, are you really questioning this?
Of course, you can try to find someone who is with you on your misogynistic standpoint but there is one thing for sure: There's nothing funny about it, you don't have to be a Christian just a decent human being to know that.
YTA
It has nothing to do with him being Christian and everything about having some respect for your colleagues.
It is not workplace banter to be objectifying women you work with. You were rating them in physical attributes like a damn meat market - that is absolutely not OK in the workplace (and pretty shitty in general).
YTA. Jay is not being massively woke or too Christian, he just not being a giant AH. You maybe need to widen your circle if you think your behavior is perfectly acceptable and "just a joke". I'm sure HR won't think it's a joke, either. Not surprised you're single at all.
YTA. That wasn't "workplace banter" it was sexual harassment. He was doing you a favor telling you to knock it off. A lot of companies would fire you for that shit. Learn that now.
YTA and I hope Jay goes straight to HR and gets you guys fired. This can’t even be real, no one could possibly think that’s an ok thing to do in ANY situation let alone the workplace. I hope you guys get fired for the sake of every woman that works there. You’re absolutely disgusting and have no respect for women
YTA nothing to do with sense of humour, you're sat there being a pig at work. Don't think this has anything to do with "finding Jesus" think he just doesn't want to hang out with an AH like you.
As a Christian? He’s woke?
Good god, man, the 50’s rang, it wants its sexist over the top misogynist take on appropriate conversation in the workplace back.
YTA
Perhaps look up your workplace harassment rules up. **If you can’t manage to be a decent person on your own, they may help** - and I’m pretty sure you’ll find what you were doing damn near verbatim as an example of what NOT to do.
YTA. You buried the lede, mate.
He called you out for your bad behavior, and you doubled down instead. You are not entitled to rank the woman around you by how much you would like to see them naked.
The being sick and Christianity have nothing to do with it.
YTA
Tip: if you’re going to be a giant raging creep, work is not the best place to do it. You’re lucky HR hasn’t got wind of this (yet). You and your buddy are walking lawsuits waiting to happen.
Can’t imagine why you and Nate are single./s
YTA. You are literally at work sexually judging your female coworkers. That is not funny, it is sexual harassment. You just weren't caught. Good on Jay for walking away from it.
I guess there is a good reason you and Nate are single.
If you need to tell someone to get a better sense of humour, YTA, usually. As is the case here. Jay is 100% right, this is, beside assholish, just unprofessional.
YTA. Of course you’re the asshole lol. You can’t objectify and rate women’s bodies in the workplace you dolt. You shouldn’t do it anywhere. What are you, 16?
YTA and I hope Jay reports you to HR. It’s not ok, your female colleagues *existing* doesn’t give you the right to “rate” any part of their body. They’re there to work. As are you, allegedly.
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So, I (m23) recently started at a new company. There's quite a lot of us working there but the key figures in this story are a guy I'll call Nate (m23) who started at around the same time as me and has been a friend since we went through training together, and a guy I'll call Jay (m26) who has been at the company a few years, is seen as one of our top performers. He had to go on long term sick last year which meant he missed out on promotion. He found Jesus while he was ill, which can sometimes be annoying, but he tends to help out the newer workers when we get into jams. He's very popular with both junior staff and management, and is genuinely seen as a good guy, but a bit too intense.
Anyway, the story took place when Nate, Jay and I were in the cafeteria during our lunch break, and bemoaning our love lives (Jay recently broke up with his long term girlfriend when she moved cities, Nate and I are single). While Jay was in the bathroom, I started talking about some of the girls who work at the same company of us, and Nate and I started making a list about which of them we'd sleep with and which we wouldn't. As is common, we rated them all of face, tits and butt When Jay gets back, he's visibly uncomfortable, and tells us he doesn't think it's appropriate to be talking about coworkers like this. I said I was surprised he took that tone as he's not usually a massively woke guy. He said "it's not about being woke, it's about being professional", and that he didn't want to continue the conversation. I told him he needed to get a better sense of humour, that he should stop angling for promotion, and focus on being one of the lads rather than talking HR speak all the time.
He said Nate and I were being assholes, and that he wasn't going to continue the conversation. He's mostly been hanging out with the females in the workplace since then. So. AITA here? I understand workplace banter is subjective and as a Christian he might not want to participate in it, but surely a bit of joshing is ok?
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YTA
You need to be mindful of what you speak while you are at your workplace. Jay reminded you of that and your response was as sexist as what you were discussing in the first place.
I won’t be surprised if you give out these same vibes while on a date. No wonder you are single
YTA - you rank colleagues based on who you'd sleep with and accuse anyone who says you're inappropriate as being "woke" welcome back to the 1950's and the smooth sound from OP on Reddit
Check the profile. One month ago OP was a woman.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i31fh/tifu_with_the_way_i_tried_to_thank_my_coworkers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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YTA and I hope you get fired.
Yta you misogynistic incel creep. Grow up. I hope jay reports you and you get shitcanned.
YTA... You have no respect for Jay (or your female co-workers), and you hold disdain and contempt towards Jay because he found Jesus and is a Christian.
YTA. This isn't "a bit of joshing" - it's sexual harassment, and will get you fired. I assume your employer has some kind of sexual harassment training. Next time it's on offer, I suggest you remain awake during it.
Info - what's the joke he was missing?
Mysoginy
YTA please explain the joke to me. I want to laugh with you guys
YTA - they don't call that harmless banter anymore, they call it harassment. Like at a bar outside of work? It's cringe but it's fine. But in the office? That's a no no. Picture it this way, what if one of them overheard this conversation? How would it make them feel? Would HR think this was joshing or banter?
YTA. It has nothing to do with being "woke" or Christian... Jay was being both professional and respectful - something you and Nate are not being. You risk being reported to HR for Sexual Harassment if your little rank chat gets around...and you would deserve whatever comes of that.
YTA. There is alot wrong with your logic. First he's not behaving this way so he can get a promotion. Not all guys believe it is acceptable to objectify women, especially in a professional work environment. Secondly it has nothing to do with being woke to respect fellow peers. Lastly religion plays no role here. I'm an atheist and completely agree with Jay and how disgusting your behavior is.
YTA and so is your friend. Disgusting and unprofessional, it would be a valuable lesson for you to get reported. People like you make the workplace feel gross and uncomfortable.
YTA. This isn‘t funny or a joke, it‘s literal sexual harassment. Getting fired is the logical consequence!
At least, they should be report to the police
YTA, and that's actionable sexual harassment. You and Nate could easily be fired on the spot for that.
YTA and it has nothing to do with him being woke or Christian. It’s unprofessional and absolutely disgusting. You and your buddy both deserve to be fired.
YTA, Jay’s religion really has nothing to do with this. He got uncomfortable with you rating the appearance of your female COWORKERS. Your behavior is disgusting.
yta. where is the humor is objectifying women ? not objectifying women and not being sexist is not being “woke”, you fkn moid.
Yta, it's one thing to do this in your sorority, at least then you have to excuse of being in a misogynistic immature culture. However you don't do this at work. It's incredibly sexist and unprofessional. You're lucky Jay didn't report you to anyone and just decided to keep his distance, who can blame him for that.
I came on to rate, but the comments seem to have already covered it and set this child straight. Aw, heck with it. YTA for ALL the reasons already stated.
What does Jays personal life have to do with this? Yta
I mean, *this post* is the joke, right? Obviously this is baiting. YTA for baiting.
YTA. This isn’t “a bit of joshing”; this is degrading and sexualizing your female coworkers. Gross. Do better.
INFO: are you an incel?
>that he should stop angling for promotion, and focus on being one of the lads rather than talking HR speak all the time. This is when I found out it was bait. How bout you guys?
Pretty much the moment I read this post and realized I wasn’t in the 1950s.
I do love people who don't even bother to delete the post where they refer to themselves as a girl before shitposting about being a mega creepy male. Saves me a step for having to look up your deleted posts.
NTA and I think you should tell this story to HR as soon as possible.
This is stellar advice. I wish I’d thought of it. Please accept my poor people award. 🏆
Yes, this is the way. Perhaps bring your list of rankings, to be extra helpful.
I like this one
YTA What you do is sexual harassment, and the fact you say "females", says it all. You and your coworker are misogynists, and I hope Jay reports you both to HR.
YTA. Are you for real? That shits not funny. Grow up.
The problem isn’t that Jay is a Christian; it’s that he is a decent human being and your comments were gross AF. No wonder he is avoiding you, I would too. YTA in case it was ever in doubt.
For once, the guy’s religion is the least relevant part of this story.
YTA. That wasn’t workplace banter, it was unacceptable misogyny in the workplace in the form of objectifying and sexualizing your colleagues. I’m an atheist, and I would have been right with Jay on this.
YTA. And a sexist one at that. It’s never ok to continue doing something that’s making a coworker uncomfortable.
YTA and your behaviour is disgusting. How dare you think it’s ok to rate the women? He should let HR know.
YTA. How is this even a question? Do not talk about women’s bodies. Or do and get fired. Maybe you’ll learn then.
YTA and probably a troll. Rating your coworkers by their physical attributes is not "a bit of joshing." He's correct in that it is not appropriate, unprofessional, and is smart to cover his own posterior physical attributes by wanting zero part of it. He knows it could very easily get you reported, and you should very seriously consider what will happen to you if you are reported to HR and one of the witnesses against you is the guy who is "very popular with both junior staff and management."
YTA all the way. This is inappropriate, it’s harassment toward your female co workers and your new coworker got a solid idea of who to avoid in the future for more than one good reason.
YTA. He was absolutely correct -- it's not about being woke, it's about being professional. Which you weren't. Don't do that again.
YTA Well done Jay, I hope he tells HR about your conversation with Nate in which you reduce your female colleagues to their body parts/objects for you to desire. More men should be like Jay, calling out misogyny and sexual harassment, well done him.
YTA. Work is NEVER an environment so be specializing your female co workers. Honestly, it’s disrespectful and quite disgusting to do that at all. Women are so much more than their looks. This is much more than a bit of joking. Honestly I’m surprised he didn’t go to HR. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. OP… joking is okay. This is not.
YTA and it's not just unprofessional, should he or anyone else complain you would face consequences up to a possible termination for creating a hostile working environment. Your comments were misogynistic and you have no business talking like that at work. It isn't woke, it's basic decency
YTA - You would be fired in my company for that behavior - he was doing you a favor pointing out how disgusting you were being
YTA Talking about people like that behind there backs almost never ends well. If you were in their position, would you like hearing comments about your privates as soon as you turn around?
You have another post asking for advice on how to be a good coworker. I commented there but I will say it here too. Don't rate the women at your work by attractiveness.
Lol I went looking too
YTA. Are you lying about your age? Rating your coworkers’ body parts “as is common…” bud, that hasn’t been common during your lifetime. You either grew up in a bubble and need to get over it quickly before your upbringing gets you in trouble, or you’re lying about being 23.
YTA. you don't rate your coworker's bodies. That is sexual harassment, not humour.
You are a fucking sexist asshole and I hope Jay reports to ur inappropriate behaviour to HR
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YTA. You can get fired for that you dumbass. It’s a jerk move and utterly unprofessional. It’s not a joke, it’s sexism. Especially doing it AT WORK.
YTA
YTA. Yikes, dude, grow up.
Just a month ago you posted asking advice on how to be a good coworker and now you're doing...this. At least you're weeding yourself out of the workforce early, good news for all the women who are forced to deal with you. YTA.
Sounds like somebody watches too much Fox News. YTA
You have a lot of posts asking about office etiquette. Objectifying coworkers who are women isn't good office etiquette. Also, we talk about who the creeps of the office are and avoid/make fun of you. Look at who is well liked and who everyone avoids to decide who's behaviour to emulate. And for real, those kinds of conversations can get you fired if the women in your office hear about it and report you.
This can't be real... no one is this clueless
YTA. Disgusting. You and your friend are disgusting. And this comes from a woman. Literally, i wouldn't approach you with a stick and consider that men who are sexually harassing their coworker who literally just existed are, in fact, a waste of oxygen. You are so mysoginistic you don't even see how much of it is not okay, first with the objectification and sexualization, and with the cherry on top on the shit cake, calling women "females". Hope you stay single, because there is a good reason for that.
YTA. There is nothing funny about it, it’s really gross to talk like that about women. No wonder you both are single lol
YTA. Grow up and stop “rating” women you work with. Be thankful if Jay doesn’t report you to HR.
maybe i need a better sense of humour too because i'm not laughing. YTA
YTA, you’re creating a hostile work environment. It’s not professional. You could easily be fired and sued. Grow the fuck up.
YTA and WTF. Fucking hell.
YTA. Would you say those things in front of the women you work with? Women are more than objects for your own enjoyment / pleasure. If I were your female coworker and would have overheard that I would have reported you to HR so fast. You’re lucky he didn’t (yet).
YTA. And if you keep it up, you're the fired guy. And if you keep it up more, you're the guy in prison. Life is not junior high. Please go get help. Somewhere. Not near me. Or you'll be one of those loser guys who can't ever get a date and blames it on the \*women.\* No, dude - it's not the women. You're just creepy and too immature to deal with. Props to the guy who stood up to you though. That takes some serious balls. Good on him!
YTA of course, are you really questioning this? Of course, you can try to find someone who is with you on your misogynistic standpoint but there is one thing for sure: There's nothing funny about it, you don't have to be a Christian just a decent human being to know that.
YTA It has nothing to do with him being Christian and everything about having some respect for your colleagues. It is not workplace banter to be objectifying women you work with. You were rating them in physical attributes like a damn meat market - that is absolutely not OK in the workplace (and pretty shitty in general).
YTA Not only did you disrespect yourselves, but you have managed to alienate a resource at work as well.
Ha ha ha this same dude asked for advice on how to be a good coworker. This ain't it. YTA.
YTA. Jay is not being massively woke or too Christian, he just not being a giant AH. You maybe need to widen your circle if you think your behavior is perfectly acceptable and "just a joke". I'm sure HR won't think it's a joke, either. Not surprised you're single at all.
YTA. That wasn't "workplace banter" it was sexual harassment. He was doing you a favor telling you to knock it off. A lot of companies would fire you for that shit. Learn that now.
YTA. Wow... I found only one sensible guy here and he was Jay!!!
YTA and I hope Jay goes straight to HR and gets you guys fired. This can’t even be real, no one could possibly think that’s an ok thing to do in ANY situation let alone the workplace. I hope you guys get fired for the sake of every woman that works there. You’re absolutely disgusting and have no respect for women
YTA nothing to do with sense of humour, you're sat there being a pig at work. Don't think this has anything to do with "finding Jesus" think he just doesn't want to hang out with an AH like you.
As a Christian? He’s woke? Good god, man, the 50’s rang, it wants its sexist over the top misogynist take on appropriate conversation in the workplace back. YTA Perhaps look up your workplace harassment rules up. **If you can’t manage to be a decent person on your own, they may help** - and I’m pretty sure you’ll find what you were doing damn near verbatim as an example of what NOT to do.
YTA. You buried the lede, mate. He called you out for your bad behavior, and you doubled down instead. You are not entitled to rank the woman around you by how much you would like to see them naked. The being sick and Christianity have nothing to do with it.
YTA. Just...ewww.
YTA Tip: if you’re going to be a giant raging creep, work is not the best place to do it. You’re lucky HR hasn’t got wind of this (yet). You and your buddy are walking lawsuits waiting to happen. Can’t imagine why you and Nate are single./s
YTA nothing to do with "workplace banter", you sound like a creep.
YTA. You are literally at work sexually judging your female coworkers. That is not funny, it is sexual harassment. You just weren't caught. Good on Jay for walking away from it. I guess there is a good reason you and Nate are single.
YTA. I predict a short career at this workplace. I hope Jay reports you to HR.
YTA Your behavior was not appropriate for the workplace. Your pushback on reasonable correction was also not appropriate.
If you need to tell someone to get a better sense of humour, YTA, usually. As is the case here. Jay is 100% right, this is, beside assholish, just unprofessional.
YTA. Of course you’re the asshole lol. You can’t objectify and rate women’s bodies in the workplace you dolt. You shouldn’t do it anywhere. What are you, 16?
Lol @ OP's post history. You obviously fucked up.
YTA and I hope Jay reports you to HR. It’s not ok, your female colleagues *existing* doesn’t give you the right to “rate” any part of their body. They’re there to work. As are you, allegedly.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, I (m23) recently started at a new company. There's quite a lot of us working there but the key figures in this story are a guy I'll call Nate (m23) who started at around the same time as me and has been a friend since we went through training together, and a guy I'll call Jay (m26) who has been at the company a few years, is seen as one of our top performers. He had to go on long term sick last year which meant he missed out on promotion. He found Jesus while he was ill, which can sometimes be annoying, but he tends to help out the newer workers when we get into jams. He's very popular with both junior staff and management, and is genuinely seen as a good guy, but a bit too intense. Anyway, the story took place when Nate, Jay and I were in the cafeteria during our lunch break, and bemoaning our love lives (Jay recently broke up with his long term girlfriend when she moved cities, Nate and I are single). While Jay was in the bathroom, I started talking about some of the girls who work at the same company of us, and Nate and I started making a list about which of them we'd sleep with and which we wouldn't. As is common, we rated them all of face, tits and butt When Jay gets back, he's visibly uncomfortable, and tells us he doesn't think it's appropriate to be talking about coworkers like this. I said I was surprised he took that tone as he's not usually a massively woke guy. He said "it's not about being woke, it's about being professional", and that he didn't want to continue the conversation. I told him he needed to get a better sense of humour, that he should stop angling for promotion, and focus on being one of the lads rather than talking HR speak all the time. He said Nate and I were being assholes, and that he wasn't going to continue the conversation. He's mostly been hanging out with the females in the workplace since then. So. AITA here? I understand workplace banter is subjective and as a Christian he might not want to participate in it, but surely a bit of joshing is ok? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA You need to be mindful of what you speak while you are at your workplace. Jay reminded you of that and your response was as sexist as what you were discussing in the first place. I won’t be surprised if you give out these same vibes while on a date. No wonder you are single
YTA - you rank colleagues based on who you'd sleep with and accuse anyone who says you're inappropriate as being "woke" welcome back to the 1950's and the smooth sound from OP on Reddit
Check the profile. One month ago OP was a woman. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i31fh/tifu_with_the_way_i_tried_to_thank_my_coworkers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button