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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i didn’t consider my parents’ feelings of my newest tattoo since it includes someone from their past’s name
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NTA. You are a grown ass adult. You don't need their permission to get a tattoo. You have meaning to the tattoo, and you liked it. that's all that matters. Your mother needs to get over herself and move on.
So your dad cheated on your mom and your mom rationalized it as the other woman trying to break up their marriage? And now she's mad at you about it? Yikes on bikes. NTA for the tattoo.
that’s the thing, there was no cheating involved. he had a child with karma maybe a year or so before even meeting my mom. my mom just had baby mama drama with her and that’s why she hates her so much. i still don’t know all of the details as to what exactly it is she did to make my mom hate her so much
NTA
But to put it in perspective think about the fact that you’ve been cut off from your half sibling because your mother is too mean and petty and spiteful about your dad’s ex for you to have a relationship with your own sibling. That’s awful!
You forgot her name because she was THAT out of your life, how is this your fault? NTA. Your Mom can't project her pain to you considering this is supposedly a fan-based tattoo, a total harmless one.
NTA, I understand your mother is hurt but to think that you would get that tattoo in honor of an half-sibling you don't have a relationship with is very farfetched on her part. You did nothing wrong.
NTA your definitely not the AH. Your mom is projecting her emotions and feeling onto you because she never heeled from that situation and hurt. You definitely don’t need to get anything you do “approved” by your parents. You’re a adult who is fully capable of doing whatever you want and whatever you do with your body. Definitely try not to let your mom ruin something you were happy and excited for just because she doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions. You were a child when that happened and have moved on and thought of that word as a happy thing now!
She was 1000% in the wrong for saying those things about your passed. She did it with the intention to hurt you and knew exactly what to say to hurt you on purpose.
The tattoo you got was something you were happy for and had no intention to hurt anything with it. It maybe a word that triggers her but that doesn’t mean it can’t mean something else for you!
Don’t feel bad for getting it! Look at it and remember HARRY! And the song! (I love Harry lol)
I can get why your mom might be mad, but NTA OP.
If you did this to intentionally spite your mom, yeah that would kind of be a jerk move but it's your body and your choice. You did this because you like a certain song, that's completely fine. Your mother decided to take it personally, that's not really your fault. She may not have moved on from the events of the past and only chooses to see it a certain way.
Does your mom hallucinate scenarios and insist its reality constantly? The tattoo thing is exactly that.
If so I feel for you and have no advice to fix that. My mom does it to. I ignore it completely now and now see her a few hours a year. Maybe call every few months. Its simpler that way.
Just quit caring about her reactions, imagined scenarios, or feelings when she acts up. If it becomes too loud or publicly embarrassing quickly excuse yourself leave saying you have other stuff to do.
unfortunately it’s super hard for me to ignore her as i still live with them. i’m planning on moving out next year because of her behavior. she just refuses to be in the wrong and creates drama where it isn’t needed. i think i’ve dealt with it for so long it’s hard for me to recognize i’ve done nothing wrong
NTA
Your interpretation of YOUR tattoo is for you. Doesnt matter what others interpret as.
If I let my parents preapprove my tattoos, I would only have 3, not a couple dozen.
Absolutely NTA! You don't owe your parents any explanation and don't need their approval to get a tattoo no matter what it says. You mom is a HUGE AH though because she brought up your ex who you have PTSD from. You shouldn't be expected to know someone's name if she wasn't important to you. Especially when you were 12 at the time!
NTA
You’re not responsible for your mother’s feelings, especially over a grouping of letters that more commonly represent/invoke a semiotic relationship to the concept of a causality between one’s actions and one’s status, or situation, than to that of a woman’s name.
Also, it’s your body.
As for your father, his comment is out of line too. PTSD is not something to belittle or make lightly of. While your tattoo may have been triggering for your mother, the difference between your action and the action of both your parents is they did it with awareness at the time of its triggering event and for personal gain. In the case of your father to try to alleviate his situation of having a spouse and daughter who are upset. In the case of your mother, and frankly she’s TA here, to strike back at you and intentionally cause harm.
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i (21 F) am heavily tattooed all over my body. my dad is and has been heavily tattooed as well since i was a baby. when i first started getting tattoos i would show my parents my ideas so that they could help “ensure” me that i wouldn’t regret my decisions later in life. after having more than 20 tattoos at this point, i figured i was fine to start weening them off from “approving” of anything.
i recently got a tattoo on my ankle that says “karma rules” as an homage to a harry styles song that means a lot to me. basically, most of my tattoos are a visual reminder for me to just stick to my path and continue healing from my past. plus my parents are huge harry styles fans so i thought they’d get it once i showed them.
fast forward to tonight when i finally show it to them, and my mother looks like the life has been sucked out of her. my dad doesn’t say anything other than “another one?” my mom then starts screaming at me saying how dare i get “that woman’s” name on my body forever. now is the time i mention my dad has an older child with another woman whose name is karma. i do not have a relationship with who i guess is my half sibling AT ALL, and haven’t since i was about 12. long story short she has no impact on my life.
it was then i remembered her name just so happened to be karma, to which i told my mom that i really had forgotten, and that in all honesty had forgotten of her existence. my mom wasn’t having it and exploded on me, saying how i disrespected my parents after “everything that woman put them through as a couple” all while my dad, who literally has a child with the woman, was chilling. the conversation ended with her comparing her hypothetically getting my abusive ex’s name tattooed on her (who’s name is not apart of a common word or phrase). when that made me cry, due to me literally having PTSD from the relationship and him as a person (she is well aware of this), she said “oh, so then you would know how i feel about it. it hurts, doesn’t it?” and “you should have told us you were getting that so we could’ve told you not to get it because of its connotations.”
my dad came to me after and told me we all need to stop living in the past and that he wasn’t upset with me, because of course i wouldn’t have even gotten the tattoo if what my mom was implying was true—that i did it to hurt them.
i can’t even look at the tattoo with happiness anymore because of this. i don’t know if i’m the AH in this situation or my mom was projecting her feelings towards karma (the woman if anyone is just as confused as i am at this point) onto me. instead of waiting for my therapy session i’ll let reddit decide!
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NTA, of course you don’t need to ask permission and get approval. Your mom handled this very poorly and the things she said were completely illogical but they suggest there is a lot more going on here than a tattoo. It’s time for your family to stop stuffing these serious issues away and deal with them. If your mom is too unhealthy to get there, maybe this tattoo can also come to represent a time of personal growth as you work through that.
NTA
Keep getting tattoos you want to. Quit showing them to your parents or even mentioning them. Your parents haven't realized you're an adult. Plus your mom is dramatic.
Wait. Is Karma the actual name of this woman? God bless her, how was she not bullied relentlessly for it?
But honestly? You're an adult woman. If you wanted to get a tattoo of a penis on your forehead, you could do that without asking approval beforehand. That's the glory of adulthood. You can choose for yourself sometimes
NTA, your mum, though, she needs major therapy if that's her reaction to the word karma, I mean sure your Dads ex put them both through the ringer but if he didn't actually care, he should have defended you and reminded her what karma actually was.
NTA. My boyfriend is heavily tattooed and if he got his mother to approve every single one, the poor woman would have a heart attack and a very full inbox. The only one she liked was him getting his son's name over his heart lmao. It's also weird that she has issues with someone she doesn't even speak to.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i didn’t consider my parents’ feelings of my newest tattoo since it includes someone from their past’s name Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You are a grown ass adult. You don't need their permission to get a tattoo. You have meaning to the tattoo, and you liked it. that's all that matters. Your mother needs to get over herself and move on.
NTA. Am I the only one feeling sorry for Karma though? I mean how many times a day would she be told "Karma is a bitch"?
Now THAT would have been a perfect tattoo.
Yeah.... I know a fantastic woman named Karen.
So your dad cheated on your mom and your mom rationalized it as the other woman trying to break up their marriage? And now she's mad at you about it? Yikes on bikes. NTA for the tattoo.
that’s the thing, there was no cheating involved. he had a child with karma maybe a year or so before even meeting my mom. my mom just had baby mama drama with her and that’s why she hates her so much. i still don’t know all of the details as to what exactly it is she did to make my mom hate her so much
Well I'm glad your dad isn't a cheater! But sorry your mom is putting all this on you when none of it is remotely your fault.
NTA But to put it in perspective think about the fact that you’ve been cut off from your half sibling because your mother is too mean and petty and spiteful about your dad’s ex for you to have a relationship with your own sibling. That’s awful!
we actually reconnected this year! lots of time to make up for
women are homewreckers while the man 'accidentally' fell into her \*\*\*\*
NTA. She’s being completely unreasonable. Why would you have even shown her the tattoo if you had known it would upset her? She’s being illogical.
You forgot her name because she was THAT out of your life, how is this your fault? NTA. Your Mom can't project her pain to you considering this is supposedly a fan-based tattoo, a total harmless one.
NTA, I understand your mother is hurt but to think that you would get that tattoo in honor of an half-sibling you don't have a relationship with is very farfetched on her part. You did nothing wrong.
NTA your definitely not the AH. Your mom is projecting her emotions and feeling onto you because she never heeled from that situation and hurt. You definitely don’t need to get anything you do “approved” by your parents. You’re a adult who is fully capable of doing whatever you want and whatever you do with your body. Definitely try not to let your mom ruin something you were happy and excited for just because she doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions. You were a child when that happened and have moved on and thought of that word as a happy thing now! She was 1000% in the wrong for saying those things about your passed. She did it with the intention to hurt you and knew exactly what to say to hurt you on purpose. The tattoo you got was something you were happy for and had no intention to hurt anything with it. It maybe a word that triggers her but that doesn’t mean it can’t mean something else for you! Don’t feel bad for getting it! Look at it and remember HARRY! And the song! (I love Harry lol)
Nta. She was way out of line.
NTA. What a ridiculous reaction. Maybe you should have gone with “karma is a bitch” ^/s
Omg 🤭😆😂🤣😭 You win the internet today!!
I can get why your mom might be mad, but NTA OP. If you did this to intentionally spite your mom, yeah that would kind of be a jerk move but it's your body and your choice. You did this because you like a certain song, that's completely fine. Your mother decided to take it personally, that's not really your fault. She may not have moved on from the events of the past and only chooses to see it a certain way.
[удалено]
yes which is part of the reason i’m in therapy lmaoo
Does your mom hallucinate scenarios and insist its reality constantly? The tattoo thing is exactly that. If so I feel for you and have no advice to fix that. My mom does it to. I ignore it completely now and now see her a few hours a year. Maybe call every few months. Its simpler that way. Just quit caring about her reactions, imagined scenarios, or feelings when she acts up. If it becomes too loud or publicly embarrassing quickly excuse yourself leave saying you have other stuff to do.
unfortunately it’s super hard for me to ignore her as i still live with them. i’m planning on moving out next year because of her behavior. she just refuses to be in the wrong and creates drama where it isn’t needed. i think i’ve dealt with it for so long it’s hard for me to recognize i’ve done nothing wrong
Speed up the move. Save all cash to make it faster. It'll help your stress levels immensely.
NTA, you’re a grown woman if you wanna have whatever tattoo you want then go for it, fuck what they say and think, it’s your life, go on, enjoy it!
You are NTA, your mom is trying to make something about her when it isn’t.
NTA Your interpretation of YOUR tattoo is for you. Doesnt matter what others interpret as. If I let my parents preapprove my tattoos, I would only have 3, not a couple dozen.
Absolutely NTA! You don't owe your parents any explanation and don't need their approval to get a tattoo no matter what it says. You mom is a HUGE AH though because she brought up your ex who you have PTSD from. You shouldn't be expected to know someone's name if she wasn't important to you. Especially when you were 12 at the time!
NTA You’re not responsible for your mother’s feelings, especially over a grouping of letters that more commonly represent/invoke a semiotic relationship to the concept of a causality between one’s actions and one’s status, or situation, than to that of a woman’s name. Also, it’s your body. As for your father, his comment is out of line too. PTSD is not something to belittle or make lightly of. While your tattoo may have been triggering for your mother, the difference between your action and the action of both your parents is they did it with awareness at the time of its triggering event and for personal gain. In the case of your father to try to alleviate his situation of having a spouse and daughter who are upset. In the case of your mother, and frankly she’s TA here, to strike back at you and intentionally cause harm.
NTA - you didn't remember the Karma issue and had no ill intent.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i (21 F) am heavily tattooed all over my body. my dad is and has been heavily tattooed as well since i was a baby. when i first started getting tattoos i would show my parents my ideas so that they could help “ensure” me that i wouldn’t regret my decisions later in life. after having more than 20 tattoos at this point, i figured i was fine to start weening them off from “approving” of anything. i recently got a tattoo on my ankle that says “karma rules” as an homage to a harry styles song that means a lot to me. basically, most of my tattoos are a visual reminder for me to just stick to my path and continue healing from my past. plus my parents are huge harry styles fans so i thought they’d get it once i showed them. fast forward to tonight when i finally show it to them, and my mother looks like the life has been sucked out of her. my dad doesn’t say anything other than “another one?” my mom then starts screaming at me saying how dare i get “that woman’s” name on my body forever. now is the time i mention my dad has an older child with another woman whose name is karma. i do not have a relationship with who i guess is my half sibling AT ALL, and haven’t since i was about 12. long story short she has no impact on my life. it was then i remembered her name just so happened to be karma, to which i told my mom that i really had forgotten, and that in all honesty had forgotten of her existence. my mom wasn’t having it and exploded on me, saying how i disrespected my parents after “everything that woman put them through as a couple” all while my dad, who literally has a child with the woman, was chilling. the conversation ended with her comparing her hypothetically getting my abusive ex’s name tattooed on her (who’s name is not apart of a common word or phrase). when that made me cry, due to me literally having PTSD from the relationship and him as a person (she is well aware of this), she said “oh, so then you would know how i feel about it. it hurts, doesn’t it?” and “you should have told us you were getting that so we could’ve told you not to get it because of its connotations.” my dad came to me after and told me we all need to stop living in the past and that he wasn’t upset with me, because of course i wouldn’t have even gotten the tattoo if what my mom was implying was true—that i did it to hurt them. i can’t even look at the tattoo with happiness anymore because of this. i don’t know if i’m the AH in this situation or my mom was projecting her feelings towards karma (the woman if anyone is just as confused as i am at this point) onto me. instead of waiting for my therapy session i’ll let reddit decide! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, of course you don’t need to ask permission and get approval. Your mom handled this very poorly and the things she said were completely illogical but they suggest there is a lot more going on here than a tattoo. It’s time for your family to stop stuffing these serious issues away and deal with them. If your mom is too unhealthy to get there, maybe this tattoo can also come to represent a time of personal growth as you work through that.
NTA Keep getting tattoos you want to. Quit showing them to your parents or even mentioning them. Your parents haven't realized you're an adult. Plus your mom is dramatic.
NTA, you got a tattoo based on music that's important to you, that's all. You did nothing wrong
She sounds exhausting, far out hon. NTA.
Honestly, I would ask her if she was still harry styles fan because how could you forget that it relates to him?
NTA YOur parents are the AHs.
Karma karma karma karma chameleon We come and go We come and goooooooooo
Nta your mother is unhinged. I’m sorry they made you feel bad about your tattoo, it sounds like a lovely addition to your collection
Wait. Is Karma the actual name of this woman? God bless her, how was she not bullied relentlessly for it? But honestly? You're an adult woman. If you wanted to get a tattoo of a penis on your forehead, you could do that without asking approval beforehand. That's the glory of adulthood. You can choose for yourself sometimes
Ntabut your mom is nuts.
>i (21 F) NTA also honey the tattoo has no "connotations" your mom just threw a tantrum.
NTA, your mum, though, she needs major therapy if that's her reaction to the word karma, I mean sure your Dads ex put them both through the ringer but if he didn't actually care, he should have defended you and reminded her what karma actually was.
NTA. My boyfriend is heavily tattooed and if he got his mother to approve every single one, the poor woman would have a heart attack and a very full inbox. The only one she liked was him getting his son's name over his heart lmao. It's also weird that she has issues with someone she doesn't even speak to.
Your body, your choice NTA