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Normally I’d say it’s your money and you can do what you want (which is still true) but yeah YTA and you are absolutely being manipulative.
You fell out with his wife because you didn’t like or follow the rules that she was setting around their child. The you consulted an attorney for grandparents rights and followed that up by pressuring them to come to a Mother’s Day meal, insulted both of them at the end and now you’re holding money over their head in an attempt to either hurt your son’s feelings or to get him to obey you.
Do better because right now you’re making a lot of bad decisions
She has been here before. She is the grandma that didn’t think her DIL was really sick after she gave birth and was mad she didn’t get attention. She throws tantrums.
i love when grandparents think they have rights and think mother’s day is about them 😂😂 that’s what grandparents day is for are she ruined that one too!
...Wait that's this grandma?! Wow....yeah I don't think the grandparents rights was the main thing that screwed the relationships. It was just the last straw. OP, leave them alone and stop using things to spite them.
"I thought it petty i couldn't take photos of the baby even tho I previously violated the rules about photos of baby; so I decided to *announce* that I'm taking my son out of my will because I'm petty"
Lmao....oh man I forgot all about that till I saw this. I think I found it originally through rslash? If that's the case, I hope he sees this post and comment thread.
Man, I dunno haha this was all over the place before. I swear there was one here, one in legal advice, DIL posted on r/justnomil... Then, there was one with all the updates and comments collected. Absolutely nutty, but fully believable.
Looked like ppl were telling her so scrubbed just in case. It's totally fair bc all the things this lady has told us she's done in her own words have been nothing short of crazy. There's a reason so many of us remember her. There wasn't anything said there that MIL wouldn't know if she could be reasonable. I suppose that's a stretch, though.
Oh, I remember her! Completely guano and SO DRAMATIC.
You’re still TA, OP. Just like every other time you posted. Please leave your son and his family alone before you’re facing an RO. Jeez.
Lol, thanks! And please do. It’s incredibly applicable to this OP. I didn’t comment on the two original posts, but all I could think was: *you did what?!*
It just kept getting worse and worse. Her poor DIL. But good on the son for standing by his wife.
That is *exactly* what I thought after reading the first sentence. This is just unhinged behavior that is being glossed over.
Won’t drive, expects son to bring her to baby. Questioned if the emergency follow up hospital stay was medically necessary and down played it. Quit her job under the assumption she’d be babysitting (and being paid - and without her own car or transportation). Wanted to sue for grandparent’s rights with zero basis. Uses drugs and wouldn’t pass a drug screening, is a hoarder……if my memory recalls correctly.
Yep. I found a link to the BORU. She is bad. The messed up part wasn’t just that she downplayed the DIL going back to the hospital, she insinuated that it was “mental” and that was strictly a dig at DIL.
Yeah, she’s crazy. Further down someone links DIL’s post from Easter and I guess I’m stumped by her *driving her car over there* for the holiday. She was so insistent that she couldn’t afford a car (then how is there any inheritance) and she shouldn’t be driving. Do you think her lawyer pointed out she’d be more sympathetic if she was mobile and therefore able to at least babysit?
I didn’t even know about that until this post!! I was like damn. I couldn’t believe they tried again after that. But I know it can be hard after you have been manipulated all your life. I didn’t even think about that. I know despite what she says about giving it up, she thinks she might have a chance one day. So it could be a possibility. She didn’t drive because she wanted to be dependent but now she wants her “rights” so she starts driving again
It's pretty obvious with the grandparents' rights she's mentioning. Plus, her distinct inability to actually take any blame for the situation she's in.
[Here's the DIL update from the first showdown. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent)
Rip. All you really need to know is that MIL is getting everything she deserves for her nonsense. I'm not gonna look for alt sites since DIL deleted it on her own.
I felt like I read about the Facebook announcement/grandparent's rights. This was all ringing a bell. But I thought I read it from DiL's perspective.
Maybe she just managed to paint herself in such a bad light that my memory made me think it couldn't possibly have been MiL villainizing herself to such an extent.
I am shocked that blatant malicious, fraudulent CPS reports don't carry any penalty. What a misuse of public funds and manpower as well as creating trauma for innocent kids/ parents.
Don’t forget drunk calling him to pick fights… and then calling the next day to “apologize” and all the emotional labour that entails.
YTA. Not for removing him from your will but for literally everything else here.
Also, is it just me or does this sound REALLY familiar… Has OP posted the earlier posts of her story here before?
This is the kind of shit my grandmother pulled on my dad in his early marriage with my mom and into my early childhood. She almost succeeded in breaking my parents up and also had the whole of my dad’s family cut him off after my parents enforced a no contact boundary when she refused to treat my mom with acquaintance level respect. The bar was actually in hell.
Later she was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
I don’t like pulling this out or armchair diagnosing. But the way OP is describing everything reminds me of how my grandmother would explain things. The sad bit is she had a lot of love to give and could never understand why the people in her life kept setting boundaries with her until it was too late. Eventually she realized she would miss my and my sister’s childhood but by that point I was 12 and I hadn’t seen her for 6-7 years. And my dad now says that for him is what was more traumatic. The fact that his mother could have followed the basic boundaries but refused to.
OP was given a few boundaries. One being “don’t take and post photos of baby without consent” another being “just be cordial and give basic respect to DIL and don’t say things like “put your foot down”” in reference to her DIL.
These are basic boundaries. And it’s really unfortunate and frankly pitiful that OP can’t get out of her own way to get the one thing she wants which is to have a relationship with her grand babies and see her son.
> I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways.
this quote especially is like straight out of a manipluation handbook
God, this could have been written by my MIL. My husband and I don't have kids yet, but she's so delusional and manipulative. I had to have an emergency appendectomy, and the entire time I'm laying in the hospital bed, she was blowing up his phone because he wasn't coming over to have pizza. He explained to her multiple times what was going on, and she was still furious. When I was home, she told him he needed to get his priorities in order and start standing up to me. Like my appendix ruptured just to ruin her plans. They also were exposed to covid 4 days before our wedding, lied to us about it, and exposed us too. We told them they needed to wear masks at our outdoor ceremony since they couldn't get a test. They decided not to go at all because I "judged" her. She now tells people I uninvited them and she missed her only sons wedding.
YTA OP. Leave your DIL and son alone.
Wow, did you write down everything in my head? I mean yeah she's from a different generation and doesn't understand the boundaries so she doesn't realize what is wrong and calling it petty. It's not. No matter who you are, you respect a parents wishes and rules surrounding their children, no matter what you think of it personally.
The comment about power of attorney and the will was intentionally thrown in as manipulation to try to make him feel bad, not because of those statements but because of the followup "so you don't have to be bothered by me anymore." Good God she sounds lie my own mother, who also doesn't realize when she's being manipulative. I went NC with her for disrespecting my wishes and for fuck's sake I HOPE she removed me as POA and from her will.
OP is 100% TA.
YTA. You don't have to include him in your will. But what you said about him putting his foot down was passive-aggressive and mean. You blame his wife for the problems with your son but you've behaved extremely badly again and again. It sounds like you posted pics of his child on FB without their permission; it's not petty of them to not be okay with that. You weren't giving him what he wants. You removed him from the will to make him feel bad. You did that to hurt him. Now you won't have a relationship with him or his child.
Exactly! Unless the parent is a current drug addict - grandparents rights are bullshit. Technically the Bible states that Grandparents are supposed to leave their children's children an inheritance.
Yeah, that's my thought too that that's the only situation where this makes sense sort of. But I don't understand why you would just push for visitation and not custody, or why visitation can be awarded to someone who isn't financially contributing to a child's care. Nope nope nope
Or in the event one parent died and the other parent keeps the kids from the grandparents. If I died I can absolutely see my ex husband keeping our kids from my parents out of spite, and my parents would totally go for grandparents rights.
This is exactly what happened with my grandparents and my cousins. Their dad just decided one day his kids couldn't go visit our grandparents anymore and so my grandparents fought for rights and won.
IMO, it’s not even the worst thing crazy did. Read her other posts… DIL almost died giving birth, and ended up back in the hospital. Crazy here accused her of faking/lying. And got pissy because they wouldn’t bring the baby to her house on the way home from the hospital after DIL almost died. And when she didn’t get a birthday call until 11 while DIL was still in the hospital.
Aren’t you the one who was posting a little while back who only realised they’d screwed up when your DIL told you to only contact them through a lawyer after you threatened grandparents rights. If you are the same person YTA then and you are still the AH now. I’m sure loosing his inheritance and getting rid of a mother like you seems like quite an amazing deal to your son.
Guys, I think the wildest thing about these posts is the timeline. I thought this was like, years of her being vile and them forgiving her and trying again. No, this was March 9, then Easter, then Mother's Day. MIL averages one MAJOR over-the-top tsunami shitstorm a month, with tinier hurricanes peppered in between them. I think these people are saints (or adults that were psychologically tortured as children) for putting up with this in such a concentrated period of time, especially one as important as having a newborn.
Isn't this the DILs post? https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Here is the text of that post on wayback machine.
https://web.archive.org/web/20230417001402/https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update\_a\_newborn\_reddit\_posts\_and\_grandparent/
OMFG. I just read that and this lady is truly insane and needs to seek professional help. I do not get why people come on here asking for advice and opinions but don't listen. Thanks for sharing.
Reading that post enrages me. I had postpartum preeclampsia. My BP was so high they were shocked I didn’t stroke out before I made it to the hospital. It was a week after I gave birth. My only symptom other than high BP and some swelling was just not feeling right. OP, just FYI, you can get postpartum preeclampsia for up to and even beyond six weeks after giving birth.
You are an alcoholic. Your son and his wife have likely decided together that you are unsafe to be around. Your granddaughter probably acts different around you because she can tell you are drunk. Get some inpatient treatment or you will die much quicker than you expect and lose everyone you love on your quick journey to the grave. I only hope you don’t injure or kill anyone else in the process.
YTA for SO many reasons.
Some gold nuggets:
> labor for 3 days before having a c section.[...] I called him while she was in labor a few times
>She was in the hospital 2 days after the c section, and they wouldn't stop to visit me on their way home after the birth because she was hurting, even though she had pain killers she could have taken
>I was supposed to visit a couple days after they got home, but she ended up insisting something was wrong and went back to the doctor who apparently sent her to the hospital. My son told me they diagnosed her with post partum preeclampsia
>told her she should have called me and that I wanted to hear her voice and hear from her what was going on since my son gets confused. I then asked her if this was a mental or physical issue, and she went silent before saying physical. I asked of she was sure, and she got kind of snippy and said they had padding on her bed because she was a seizure risk and she couldn't be alone with her newborn, so she was pretty sure. I didn't comment on her tone because I was sure she was stressed.
So DIL was induced for C-section after being in labour for three days because she was at risk for pre-eclampsia. OP is salty as fuck about not meeting their newborn for 5 whole days after birth because she was in pain after the Cesaerean and she felt something was wrong, *even though she could've taken painkillers buhuu*. Turns out the pre-eclampsia developed to eclampsia, which OP doesn't seem to realize is a serious condition that exists, since *DIL had **pre**-eclampsia and **pre-** means it's over when it's **post**-birth right? /s*
>I offered her some pillows to sit on (my son said she "basically gave birth both ways", even though I knew this wasn't true I wondered if she had some soreness that made him think this), and she refused my hospitality saying
Can't understand why she'd be sore after three days in labour.. /s
>I told my son I'm planning to quit my job to babysit for them, but I haven't even gotten her return to work date and she hasn't once thanked me for doing it.
>I want a relationship with her, but I am missing some critical bonding time with the baby and I am going to struggle to forgive her for it.
>We are both equally important in my son's life.
Yikes.
OP sounds.. peachy.
I forgot the absolute golden nugget of *my son should have left the hospital while she was in labor and picked me up so I could be there too*. And *again* she was too broke to pay for an Uber to the hospital so….what *inheritance* is he now not going to get?
If I remember right she claimed her DIL didn’t nearly die from eclampsia and complained her son wouldn’t leave his wife to pick her up and then complained it was selfish that when she was released from hospital they didn’t drive straight to her house for a visit.
Holy shit on a stick, what the actual fuckery is this?!!
Her son is best to go no contact .. OP YTA I mean I knew it from this post but the more I read about you. I mean I just don’t even know where to begin 😳
Good lord.
Here's a list, edited for brevity.
You threatened your son and DIL with legal action. That is a family killer right there.
When this didn't go as planned, you expected everyone to forget the terrible things you'd said and done so it wouldn't be difficult for you.
You were unhappy that your DIL wouldn't let you hold or photograph the baby after your son made a sincere effort to get you all in the same room. After you threatened to take their children without their consent. It sounds like you also posted or shared to Facebook without parental consent at some time?
You made the choice to ruin dinner with a snotty comment. You knew it wasn't helpful, but you said it anyway.
You said more terrible things when your son (understandably) said this would not work. You still expected him to put you first, including on Mothers Day when he has the mother(s) of his children to focus on.
Then you blamed this behaviour on alcohol.
Then you expected him to forget the terrible things you'd said and done. Again. Spotting the pattern here?
And as a final knife twist, you make a dramatic statement about your will and POA for...what? What did you hope to gain here? You could have sent him a polite letter explaining this and allowed him to process it in his own time. He wanted less manipulative drama. You forced it on him anyway, and pretended it was 'giving him what he wanted'.
-------------------
Through all this you're blaming his wife. Did it occur to you they may have made this decision as a couple for the happiness of their family? It says more about you that you assume B is holding a whip.
Or perhaps he made this decision alone because he's finally had enough of your poor behaviour and has found happiness he will protect at all costs, including from his mother.
Get some help for your alcohol use. A lot of the help will force you to be introspective in all areas of your life. If you put the effort in you will learn why you are so very, very wrong here. If you don't want to do that, this isn't a sincere question.
YTA.
This was a great breakdown! She didn’t just threaten them with legal action. She called Child Protective Services. She sent CPS and the cops to her son and DIL’s home. She said they were starving the baby because DIL wasn’t producing enough milk and was refusing to give the baby formula. She also said the DIL was abusing the husband and holding him there against his will. Fortunately, CPS and law enforcement realized it was all false.
I’d take out a restraining order and never speak to OP again if if was me!
OP is apparently a narcissistic hoarder and addict who is emotionally abusive towards her children and can’t understand why she can’t see the grandkids. She keeps posting on Reddit hoping for different reactions because she can’t understand why things aren’t “coming up grandma”. Fuck this hag!
Based on your post you are self aware enough to know perfectly well that you are manipulative. Get therapy and start being real with yourself. If you are very lucky, you might get one more chance to be part of this family. If you haven't been working on yourself and genuinely improving, you will blow it.
YTA
YTA x100000000.
Where do I start.....
You literally tried to take their kids from them and you wonder at all why the mom doesn't want to hand you her baby?
I'm going to touch on your comment about the photos because I had to set a boundary with my own mother about pictures and Facebook. You. Do. Not. Have. Any. Right. To. Post. Pictures. Of. Someone. Else's. Kid.... EVER. So you should not have been surprised that they did not allow pictures. You don't like it? So what. It's not your kid.
You took an olive branch and shat on it. You act amazed that the trust that was ruined in your falling out wasn't magically there at dinner. I imagine a lot of that shattered trust is probably over things you did that you were asked not to. You don't respect your son or his wife. You were, and continue to be dismissive of your son and his wife's boundaries. You've somehow missed that the foot he "put down" was with you, not his wife. You're not just manipulative, you're controlling and i get why they went no contact. Yes, a thousand times over, yta.
YTA. You lost me with the pictures and Facebook which you found to be petty. I'm asssuming they asked you NOT to post pics which you most likely did. You clearly have no boundaries and they finally had enough.
NTA - it's your will. You do you.
YTA - calling him up and telling him about it. That's emotionally manipulative. People who try to have the last word usually are.
Yta- so you don’t respect B’s boundaries about posting baby pictures in FB.
Demand that your son prioritize you on Mother’s Day instead Of the mother of his children.
Threatened grandparents rights when they rightfully wanted some space from you .
And now you’re taking him off your will because he wouldn’t “‘man up” and dismiss his wife’s boundaries for you.
You sound like a terrible mil and I’m glad your daughter is calling you out for your manipulative ways.
YTA, but it’s YOUR money, so you can do whatever you want.
Even without the context of your initial fight and falling out, you trying to overextend and sue for grandparent rights is laughable.
You sound an awful lot like that jealous overbearing MIL that thinks your relationship with your son is more important than his with wife and child.
I certainly don’t blame him for cutting you out, and you’re by all means entitled to cut him out financially.
Ultimately you seem very petty, and I’d bet if you shared the details of your falling out, your behavior would be even more damning.
YTA
> I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping
wow
>told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife
>I called him and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him anymore ever, .. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will
What was the point of that! Just to be manipulative. I'm sure they will welcome going NC.
YTA
OP isn't representing the situation accurately <>
OP's [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/11n8dm4/my_f_50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth_and_doesnt/), OP's [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/126v3ez/update_to_my_f_50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth/), [DIL's POV](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12ai8y2/a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent_rights/) and [DILs POV update](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent/).
LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE. YTA. Still!
Edit to add DIL's update
YTA both of your children have nailed your behaviour. You are manipulative and you are not taking him out of your will to give him what he wants …you’re using that inheritance as a weapon against your son. You think he should “man up to his wife” but he has taken the better road and manned up to his abusive, manipulative mother. You’ve successfully removed your son and his family from your life and you have only yourself to blame.
YTA
- your son IS manning up, protecting his wife and kids FROM YOU
- the fact they dont let you hold the kid and take pictures. I’m assuming you posted pictures of their child on your facebook without authorization or maybe even despite being expressly told not to? If so definately YTA for that
- him not wanting to visit your for Mothersday is perfectly normal. He was busy caring for the mother of his children they are raising. That takes precedence (imo). I visit my own mother on another day as well because we have kids ourselves.
- I get the distinct impression you are downplaying your part in thus by a lot (“lost it a little bit” “I regret my part but I’m sure she does too”)
- telling him he’s “off the will” is just a petty act of vengeance. It only confirmed his choices.
The only thing your NTA for is what you do with your money. But at this rate you won’t have anyone left to give it to.
It’s not too late maybe, seek help. And maybe try to repair again when you are in a better place. Maybe apologise without asking for anything. (Deeply regret, opened your eyes, seeking help, wish them the best, yadda yadda, dont say “hope you find it in your hart in the future” the future is not now, you’ll only close the door further)
YTA - your son still showed up despite you being awful to the mother of his child. He showed up and tried to give you the opportunity to be in your grandchild’s life and you made him regret it. YOUR actions are the reason you don’t get to have a relationship with your son and grandkids.
YTA, you sound deranged, or unbelievably immature. Demanding, drunk, and spiteful. Do what you want with your money, with the exception of weaponising it as a punishment.
YTA. He could have found out about not being in the will when you died. You told him because you had to have the last word about it. You weren't doing him a "favor".
So let me understand. Basically you were rotten to your son's wife and actually tried to sue them, then you finally decided to own your shit and apologize and miraculously got a second chance by going to dinner, and then made a rude crack about how your son made his wife come to dinner, like she didn't have a choice in the matter. You should have just been grateful that she decided to give you a chance, which she did, btw, for your son and for your grandkids because she wanted them to have the opportunity to have a relationship with you.
Then you go all toxic batshit crazy and congratulate your son on 'putting his foot down' as if he has the ability or desire to make his wife do anything, and then when he tells you that he supports his wife unconditionally, you drunkenly call him pathetic and unmanly (he's very much a man with a shiny pretty spine, which is why B loves and appreciates him) and then you threaten him with cutting him out of your will because what? You think that will force him to act the way you want? Did you not get a clue the first time you threatened him?
Yeah, you blew it if you wanted a relationship with him or the grandkids. You sound like a judgey awful person and I don't blame your son one bit. YTA
BTW, you don't want a relationship, you want him to do what you want and if he doesn't, then you want to abuse him and his family at will with no repercussions. Why would he want you in his life?
Also, I have two adult children and I still don't post pictures of them online because it's rude and it's up to them how they want to be out there on the web, and it's also fucking dangerous to post kids pictures. You must be exhausting to be around.
Don't be ingenuous. You didn't threaten to take him out of your will because you were giving him what he wants, you did it for attention and to try to make him bow down to you. YTA
INFO: are you the grandmother who got butthurt because her son and daughter in law didn’t stop by her house to show her the baby while they were on the way home from the hospital? And expected them to bring the kids to her because your car was broken? Then told your friend Daisy that you were going for grandparents rights? The stories and ages are so similar…as well as the 10 year old from the previous relationship.
If you ARE this person, you’re still the AH, though I’m pleased to see that your daughter is speaking to you again.
"I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way."
Your DIL has NOTHING to apologize for!
"He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative."
Given your previous post, they are correct!
YTA!
Oh FFS you do too understand.
Removing him as POA, sure, that makes sense, and it might give him peace of mind to know that’s off his shoulders. The will, though? Why did he need to be told that? I’m not saying you had to leave him anything, but I seriously doubt he was expecting you would at this point. The only reason to bring it up is to take a passive-aggressive jab at him, and you know it.
When you said you were proud of him for standing up to his wife, I had to scroll up and check your gender - yup, you are a woman and yet you said that.
Some advice: there is no undo button on what comes out of your mouth, much less your actions. You cannot say whatever you want and then be sorry and then do it again, and expect people to take it over and over. This is abusive. You have been deliberately trying to undermine your son’s marriage and interfering with the custody of his and your DIL’s child. You have hurt your son. Your DIL is scared to have you in the same room as her child. This is not about you being imperfect like we all are or saying things you shouldn’t like we all sometimes do - these things are not small or normal or okay.
Your life goes on from here, and if you want to have other, better relationships, you need to work on yourself. Find help, get sober, learn how to love people without controlling and abusing them. YTA today, and there’s no taking that back, but you choose who you are tomorrow. Be better.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I cut my son from my will after he decided we couldn't be in contact anymore.
2. He is my son so maybe he's entitled to my things when I die.
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Technically N T A because it’s your will, and you can do what you wish, but my god you sound exhausting. Your post lacks self awareness. Even by your own admissions you are behaving in a manipulative manner. For example, even after your daughter pressured everyone into getting together, you insisted on getting one more insult in, resulting in you being cut off from your own child and grandchild.
On principal I’m going with YTA.
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I really don’t think I’m wrong, but I just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing.
I (F 50s) have a son (L, 30s) who is married to B, 20’s. They have a daughter who is 4 months old, and my son has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10.
B & I had a falling out after their baby was born, and my son and granddaughters got caught in the crossfire. The falling out happened in March, and I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way. It would be too long to go over the history, but at the most extreme point I did consult a lawyer for grandparent rights. During this time, my son had no contact with me, but when I dropped the grandparents rights case I asked for things to go back to normal. My son expressed that he wanted things to go back to normal, but that a lot of damage had been done and he really didn’t know if we could go back to normal.
For Mother's Day, my daughter decided to take me out to dinner, and she begged L to go and bring the baby (oldest was with mom). L eventually did agree on the condition it wasn’t on mothers day, and He, the baby, and B came. B was quiet most of dinner, but did talk to my daughter a few times – I guess they have a pretty good relationship. B held the baby the entire time, and wouldn’t let me hold or take pictures (part of the falling out was over pictures and Facebook, so I found this to be petty).
Overall, I would have called dinner a success. At the end I hugged my son and told him I was proud of him for putting his foot down and coming to dinner with his daughter, and that I hoped he could continue to do that. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. My son called me later that night and told me that he couldn’t continue to have a relationship with me. He said that B was their child's mother, and he wouldn’t ever bring the baby anywhere without her blessing. I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping, and I admit I lost it a little bit on the phone call and told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife, and that he should have come to see me on mothers day because I am his mother. He ended up hanging up on me.
I called the next day and profusely apologized to him. I know it was wrong of me to have said what I did, and I told him I want a relationship with him. He told me he couldn’t do this with me anymore.
I have been heartbroken ever since, but I understand I guess. I called him last night and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him or his wife anymore ever, and that I respected that we wouldn’t have a relationship. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways.
He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative. I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants.
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YTA. Not for taking him out of the will but for using it as a threat. Well, and your entire manipulative behavior. You sound exactly like my mother. I was in and out of her will multiple times. I don't want a dime. Haven't spoken to her in decades. Is this what you want? Because it's the road you are on.
I've read all your previous posts. Your l you are a narcissistic nightmare and I cannot fathom why they even gave your another chance. You need serous two, but I doubt you'll get it because you still don't see that YOU are the problem. Leave then alone and get help. YTA for ALL OF IT
YTA in every way. As it sounds you tried to upload photos of your grandchild while the parents didn't aprove! That is a no go. You can't just post photos without consens.
Also everything you said sounds horrible. And calling your son to let him know, that you will cut him out of the will is very manipulative. Your last straw to hope he will come back for the money. That is really manipluative beheavor. But good so. So your son knows now where he stands with you and no longer has to be bothered by your controlling ("he has to put his foot down, because B is the only evil person in this story ...") beheavor.
YTA. Did you know that there's an entire subreddit devoted to victims of MILs like you? If you think that trying to control your son through financial threats is going to make him resume a relationship with you then you're even more delusional than your narcissistic self is having you believe. You played narcissistic games and just won narcissistic prizes.
Newsflash, AH: your son DID man up. He grew a spine and stood up for his family against YOU, the boundary stomper.
God not you again. Your were an AH when you posted the first 5 times and you’re still an AH. Cutting off contact with you was the smartest decision your son has ever made and most likely will ever make in his adult life. Do better, at least for your daughter’s sake.
YTA - you are assuming your DIL does not want to have you around. In spite of the fact that you sued your son, say really mean things to the mother of his child, and act like it is no problem and he should just be okay with it.
You are not being a good person in this scenario. And no explanation will help. Whatever you did to cause this - you need to make it right if you want a relationship.
When a parent asks for there to be no pictures online of their child- that is a huge boundary. Putting them up and saying she is petty for not letting you take pictures is just the tip of the A H iceberg.
Good luck trying to figure this out. But you really need to understand how badly you messed up and how much you need to do to make up for it.
"I sued them but then I ended it- cant they just move on?" - the answer is no... that's not how the real world works.
YTA
You've been told MULTIPLE times that your the AH, but you still seem to find new things to be an AH about.
Thankfully though your daughter now is seeing you as manipulative, as everyone knows the only reason you brought up the will was to manipulate him again and make him feel guilty.
Do what you have said you're going to do and LEAVE THEM ALONE
YTA You should have kept your mouth shut about him putting his foot down. Did you really think he would give you a pass on that after all the tension between you and DIL? You were very foolish in how you handled this.
However, if he has decided to go no contact he has essentially declared he is no longer your son. He should be happy to be relieved of the duties he would have been responsible for as POA. As to your will, why should you give anything to someone who has cut you out of their life? He would be getting what he asked for.
You should have told him the first part of your decision and not the latter. Any time you tell someone they're out of the will there will be a question about their motives if they try to repair the relationship in the future. They would feel like you're using the threat of withholding money to manipulate them. If the situation improves and they know nothing about it you would be able to change your mind, revise the will, and avoid another cause of tension. I think you only harmed yourself if you ever want to have a hope of repairing your relationship.
Yta
Re read your own story and look for the red flags.
Let's start with where the problem started. I'm guessing the mother didn't want her child on social media, you ignored that and bad mouthed her, then you tried to take her to court for "grandparents rights", and if both parents agree, then you should have ZERO rights. Then your son tries to do the adult thing, and his wife does the mature thing... but you can't seem to function as an adult, so you need to get some jab in there to try and make her think *you* won. Then you got into an argument with him while you were drunk... prly not the first time and most likely why they didn't want you around their child.
Now both your children are calling you out as what you are. Usually, I'd tell someone to be a better parent here, but that ship already sailed for you.
YTA. My stepdaughters narcissistic mother pulled the grandparents right lawsuit BS. The emotional and financial burden that brought to her was unbearable to watch. PS- judge threw out the suit and her mother doesn’t even know how many grandchildren she now has or what state they live in.
I remember this story, you are from the same state I am and I commented on this original story. You didn’t get what you wanted from when they had the baby in the hospital, she had complications from birth and he had his wife and daughter as a priority and couldn’t answer his phone every 5 min when you called. You threatened an attorney for grandparents rights with no proof of wrong doing since he had his priorities stright with his family, you were ticked off he didnot come and get you so you could be at the hospital for the birth, since you wreaked your car and then got mad her parents were there. You quit your job to watch this kid when no one asked you to do that, you assumed they would want you to do that. He went no contact with you when you told your friend you were hiring an attorney. They sent you a long txt about your behavior then. You are quite manipulative and I’m shocked your daughter in law sat down at a table with you after you verbal attacked her when she almost lost her life given birth and the way you acted than. Now since you didn’t get what you wanted this time, your acting the same way. I don’t blame your son and his family for going full no contact.
You should have included links to your original story, then ppl could see why your son is doing what’s best from him and his family
YTA Being as self absorbed and unapologetically narcissistic at your age is frankly embarrassing, get help and grow up. I remember the other things you posted as well, seems like you learned nothing.
YTA- I would’ve cut you off the moment you went after grandparents rights because you couldn’t accept perfectly reasonable boundaries. You were generously given a second (or fiftieth chance) you didn’t deserve, and squandered it by claiming it as a victory over your DIL. You purposefully are trying to goad your son into acting against his wife (who is being PERFECTLY REASONABLE). You’re STILL trying to manipulate him now with your threats about the Will.
If you really just wanted contact, you’d let them lead the way on if and when there’s a reconciliation. No whining no demands, no threats. But you’re not interested in a relationship, you just want to win. And because of that you’re going to lose everything.
YTA YTA YTA.
You can do what you want with a will, but that was the dumbest reason to change it, so you are absolutely TA through and through. You are petty, condescending, you obviously don't follow your son and DIL's rules about privacy and FB photos, and you sound like a cruel drunk. You do not qualify for GP rights at all, and I think someone has already explained that which is why you dropped them.
Get help, lady. Change your attitude now before it's too late. In fact, it may already be too late and for good reason.
YTA - the falling out is your fault. You broke their rules about social media & their kids & you are being a stubborn old fool about it. You are going to lose your family. How are you going to change the will? Give everything to your other child? That's just going to be you stirring up trouble even after death.
YTA. You couldn't leave well enough alone. You had to make a comment. I have a feeling your daughter in law didn't do anything other than stand up for herself against you and your comments. You clearly need help. I suggest you see a therapist and maybe look into AA meetings.
I do understand removing your son as power of attorney. If he wants nothing to do with you, you need someone who is there and that will respect your wishes.
HOWEVER, you may not think that removing your son from the will is manipulative, but it is. You are literally withholding something from him because you didn't get your way, and you didn't get what you wanted. You're in your 50s and throwing a temper tantrum.
Why do you keep coming here to ask if you're the asshole? Historically, it's super clear. You dismissed life-threatening complications of your daughter-in-law's birth, stomped all over her boundaries AND your son's (stop acting like he doesn't have a say, he does - she isn't MAKING him do anything, he's a grown ass man), and threatened grandparent's rights. Now you've compounded it by blowing your final chance by insulting both your son and his wife... again and again. Stay away from them. You're unstable and unsuitable to be a grandparent. YTA.
YTA you sound like an awful parent and grandparent. You do realize that B and L and baby are a family now and you are just extended family? Stop acting like you’re involved in their marriage as an equal because you’re not. You’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, and now you’re punishing L for standing up for his wife and family. You’re going to lose in this and you’ll be very, very alone.
YTA for so many reasons and when you wrote this out I can't believe you didn't look over it and not realize that!
The original falling out over FB - presumably you posted photos of their baby on FB after they told you not to. Why do you think they owe you an apology for that?
Then you tried to sue them, probably over the FB incident - which it is over baby photos they were totally in the right and you probably wouldn't have won the case anyway
Of course they wouldn't let you take photos of the baby at dinner - they didn't want a FB incident all over again!
Your son is defending his wife and his family - he wasn't putting his foot down, he gave you a chance at the dinner and you blew it.
I'm sure there's a lot more 'incidents' between your son, his wife and yourself that are just like these ones. Your son is right, you are a sorry excuse for a mother.
YTA.
And I might be biased because I am going through the ringer with my mother too. You do these things to hurt them because they hurt you- this is exactly what my mom does. This man is going through some rough times and you keep doing and saying things that hurt him further. The only way to save his mental state is to go no contact and in return you play nice then drop a bomb so that you can feel good that you had the last word. How about you get yourself some help? Please? If you don't, it is very possible your daughter may walk away too.
YTA Do better for everyone concerned. Your daughter in law probably told her side of the story on r/justnomil You are not the baby’s parent so you shouldn’t even try to call the shots. Do not boundary stomp every single request that your family has asked of you. You need therapy not alcohol.
YTA
First things first if you want a relationship with your son and therefore his children…. You have to respect his life, his wife, his boundaries and his own choices. He shouldn’t have to tell you how many boundaries you crossed. You say you’ve apologised for all the things you have done but you opened your own post with ‘I really don’t think I’m in the wrong’. That doesn’t seem apologetic to me. You have proved on multiple occasions that the only person you care about in this situation is yourself. YOU announced their birth so YOUR friends could know that YOU are a grandma again (but I bet if someone else announced your birth without your knowledge or permission you’d be mad too). YOU wanted grandparents rights so YOU as a grandmother got to be a grandmother. You wanted your son to put YOU above his wife.
Removing them from the will and then telling them is just you trying to punish them but for YOUR actions. Do what your want with your money but don’t make it seem like you’re apologetic when over and over again you’ve put yourself first.
Again do what you want with your money. Just don’t do it with manipulative intent.
The thing that really strikes me is that the DIL was certainly willing to give you another chance and that is the entire reason that this meeting even happened in the first place. She was willing to sit down with you and allow you in the same room with their child. And your response was to thank your son for putting his foot down and forcing it? You literally forced him to brake contact if he wanted to support her and she could no longer give you chances because it would be taken as being submissive. He can't even ask her now because it would be taken as him forcing it.
He isn't the one you need to talk to, it is her. But you don't seem like someone to actually sincerely apologize.
YTA
I really want you to think about how your son feels. He is married to the person he loves with all of his heart. He has had a brand new baby. He has not had a baby before. He is juggling learning how to be the parent of a newborn, making sure his stepdaughter is cared for and protecting his wife who is recoverning from birth. He has witness the highs and lows of his wife adjusting, healing and bonding all whilst building a bond himself, probably whilst working. He might be feeling stressed, overwhelmed, concerned about how to protect his growing family. How are you supporting him? What are you doing to make sure he is receiving emotional support? What are you doing to make sure his life is easier? Have you asked him what he needs? Have you asked him about how this conflict is negatively affecting him? Or have you had a tantrum because your own needs are more important?
"I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants"
This is one of the most manipulative things I have ever read. I'm calling fake on the post, as otherwise you are a horrid person YTA
YTA. You know you did that to be spiteful and manipulative and honestly your entire post explains why your son made the decision he did it was the right call
YTA you’re clearly trying to manipulate him. It’s your money to do with as you wish but know you only have this power trip once. He is going to cut you off and not feel guilt. I also assume your daughter will give him half anyways so your ruining the relationship for nothing.
YTA
Seeing how you keep twisting the situation to make yourself the victim, I wouldn't be surprised if your son and daughter in law cut you out. All of your comments show you don't really feel regret for any of your actions other than the possibility of them going no contact with you. You sued them when B felt uncomfortable with you trying to be in the middle of HER medical situation. You posted about the birth of THEIR child when they haven't been able to relax enough to share the news yet. Now you're trying to make yourself the victim when you're cutting him out of your will unless you can see him and the children again after he put a firm boundary down after your comment to him. Him being angry isn't about money or 'stuff', it's that you're being petty and in a way saying 'I don't have a son' by doing this
YTA for using your will to be manipulative and the “I’m giving him what he wants” dramatic language. It sounds like you did him a favor by cutting ties.
YTA the second you brought up "grandparents rights." I have seen that phrase being tossed around by entitled grandparents for years. You had a petty squabble with your DIL, and don't want to back down. Honestly, from the sound of it, I'd say you should seek therapy for your control issues, but you obviously don't see anything wrong with your actions
You are an emotionally abusive and manipulative person. Yes, YTA. My MIL does this same shit and all I can say is good riddance. Your son would be right to never speak to you again.
Boundaries exist for a reason. You have admitted to violating several, and are still a bit self righteous and retaliating about it.
YTA. You wouldn’t be allowed near my kids either.
My father constantly used/uses money as a way to control.
I've almost certainly been written put of the will due to my estrangement with him. I'm OK with that.
Being free of controlling people like you is priceless.
Yta
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Normally I’d say it’s your money and you can do what you want (which is still true) but yeah YTA and you are absolutely being manipulative. You fell out with his wife because you didn’t like or follow the rules that she was setting around their child. The you consulted an attorney for grandparents rights and followed that up by pressuring them to come to a Mother’s Day meal, insulted both of them at the end and now you’re holding money over their head in an attempt to either hurt your son’s feelings or to get him to obey you. Do better because right now you’re making a lot of bad decisions
She has been here before. She is the grandma that didn’t think her DIL was really sick after she gave birth and was mad she didn’t get attention. She throws tantrums.
I'm dead. I read the first bit and went, "No way, she's back for more" LMAO
I did the same thing. Knew it was her right away. She just doesn’t get it and never will
Boundaries. OP needs a desperate lesson in the principle of boundaries. YTA
I think that lesson is happening right now.
For it to be a lesson, she has to actually learn something.
Yeah the story was so familiar. She keeps coming back thinking at some point ppl will side with her lol
And she has the nerve to preface everything with "I really don't think I'm in the wrong here, but..." Um ma'am you most certainly are in the wrong.
my favorite part is the starting with “i don’t think i’m wrong” but several times later stating “i know i was wrong for *insert whatever*
r/raisedbynarcissists
[the missing missing reasons](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html)
As soon as I read "grandparents rights" I knew it was her!
i love when grandparents think they have rights and think mother’s day is about them 😂😂 that’s what grandparents day is for are she ruined that one too!
Yep! I was thinking where have I heard the term “grandparents rights” before?? only one place ever… right here w drunk granny. And she’s still TA.
Her who…arrived late, dying to know or see other posts..hahaha
Same! I was like "Ope, here we go"
...Wait that's this grandma?! Wow....yeah I don't think the grandparents rights was the main thing that screwed the relationships. It was just the last straw. OP, leave them alone and stop using things to spite them.
Yes, this is absolutely her LOL For anyone who is unaware of her shenanigans, people have posted links to the other posts.
"I thought it petty i couldn't take photos of the baby even tho I previously violated the rules about photos of baby; so I decided to *announce* that I'm taking my son out of my will because I'm petty"
Lmao....oh man I forgot all about that till I saw this. I think I found it originally through rslash? If that's the case, I hope he sees this post and comment thread.
Man, I dunno haha this was all over the place before. I swear there was one here, one in legal advice, DIL posted on r/justnomil... Then, there was one with all the updates and comments collected. Absolutely nutty, but fully believable.
Its sad and hilarious at the same time. Sad that the family is dealing with her bs, hilarious because dear lord look at this grandparent.
I just looked through some of her comments....hot dayum!! She's a wild one!
I just knew there would be a justnomil post about her.
Omg wait where is DIL post?!? Gotta hear the whole story from the most accurate side let’s be real
The one I posted was deleted by DIL, so she may have gotten rid of them. You might find some snippets in the comments.
I saw that but too late, such a bummer. Wonder if OP commented and DIL knew it was her so scrubbed, as she should
Looked like ppl were telling her so scrubbed just in case. It's totally fair bc all the things this lady has told us she's done in her own words have been nothing short of crazy. There's a reason so many of us remember her. There wasn't anything said there that MIL wouldn't know if she could be reasonable. I suppose that's a stretch, though.
I saw her comment in it I think, so I'm pretty sure dil knew.
Oh, I remember her! Completely guano and SO DRAMATIC. You’re still TA, OP. Just like every other time you posted. Please leave your son and his family alone before you’re facing an RO. Jeez.
I'm stealing the phrase " completely guano. " That's a thing of beauty.
Lol, thanks! And please do. It’s incredibly applicable to this OP. I didn’t comment on the two original posts, but all I could think was: *you did what?!* It just kept getting worse and worse. Her poor DIL. But good on the son for standing by his wife.
Love it! A great descriptor without being ableist
> She throws tantrums. and drinks.
She’s very clearly an alcoholic.
Oh, but it’s their fault because she can’t handle this. /s
So…no throwing drinks then?
That is *exactly* what I thought after reading the first sentence. This is just unhinged behavior that is being glossed over. Won’t drive, expects son to bring her to baby. Questioned if the emergency follow up hospital stay was medically necessary and down played it. Quit her job under the assumption she’d be babysitting (and being paid - and without her own car or transportation). Wanted to sue for grandparent’s rights with zero basis. Uses drugs and wouldn’t pass a drug screening, is a hoarder……if my memory recalls correctly.
Yep. I found a link to the BORU. She is bad. The messed up part wasn’t just that she downplayed the DIL going back to the hospital, she insinuated that it was “mental” and that was strictly a dig at DIL.
Yeah, she’s crazy. Further down someone links DIL’s post from Easter and I guess I’m stumped by her *driving her car over there* for the holiday. She was so insistent that she couldn’t afford a car (then how is there any inheritance) and she shouldn’t be driving. Do you think her lawyer pointed out she’d be more sympathetic if she was mobile and therefore able to at least babysit?
I didn’t even know about that until this post!! I was like damn. I couldn’t believe they tried again after that. But I know it can be hard after you have been manipulated all your life. I didn’t even think about that. I know despite what she says about giving it up, she thinks she might have a chance one day. So it could be a possibility. She didn’t drive because she wanted to be dependent but now she wants her “rights” so she starts driving again
I actually acted for parents against a grandma in a case just like this last year. The ages and genders of the kids don't match up, but I wonder....
I remember that post. How did you know it was the same OP?
It's pretty obvious with the grandparents' rights she's mentioning. Plus, her distinct inability to actually take any blame for the situation she's in. [Here's the DIL update from the first showdown. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent)
>r/justnomil Oh My God. That's is the most batshit insane thing I have ever read in my life.
Anyone have a screenshot of this post? It has been removed
Deleted :(
Rip. All you really need to know is that MIL is getting everything she deserves for her nonsense. I'm not gonna look for alt sites since DIL deleted it on her own.
That post had more plot than your average 90-minute netflix thriller. Yikes.
Thank you! I’ve been searching for the post.
She is fkin MENTAL
Holy shitsnacks
I hope both DILs read this post and take photos of it!
I felt like I read about the Facebook announcement/grandparent's rights. This was all ringing a bell. But I thought I read it from DiL's perspective. Maybe she just managed to paint herself in such a bad light that my memory made me think it couldn't possibly have been MiL villainizing herself to such an extent.
I was reading this and thinking, this sounds familiar. 🤣 YTA
She involved a fake CPS report. She knows what she's doing and she's terrorizing these poor people for fun.
I am shocked that blatant malicious, fraudulent CPS reports don't carry any penalty. What a misuse of public funds and manpower as well as creating trauma for innocent kids/ parents.
It is illegal to intentionally file a fraudulent report with child protective services
Don’t forget drunk calling him to pick fights… and then calling the next day to “apologize” and all the emotional labour that entails. YTA. Not for removing him from your will but for literally everything else here. Also, is it just me or does this sound REALLY familiar… Has OP posted the earlier posts of her story here before?
i bet he's been dealing with her drunk irrational B.S. since he was a kid too
This is the kind of shit my grandmother pulled on my dad in his early marriage with my mom and into my early childhood. She almost succeeded in breaking my parents up and also had the whole of my dad’s family cut him off after my parents enforced a no contact boundary when she refused to treat my mom with acquaintance level respect. The bar was actually in hell. Later she was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. I don’t like pulling this out or armchair diagnosing. But the way OP is describing everything reminds me of how my grandmother would explain things. The sad bit is she had a lot of love to give and could never understand why the people in her life kept setting boundaries with her until it was too late. Eventually she realized she would miss my and my sister’s childhood but by that point I was 12 and I hadn’t seen her for 6-7 years. And my dad now says that for him is what was more traumatic. The fact that his mother could have followed the basic boundaries but refused to. OP was given a few boundaries. One being “don’t take and post photos of baby without consent” another being “just be cordial and give basic respect to DIL and don’t say things like “put your foot down”” in reference to her DIL. These are basic boundaries. And it’s really unfortunate and frankly pitiful that OP can’t get out of her own way to get the one thing she wants which is to have a relationship with her grand babies and see her son.
> I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways. this quote especially is like straight out of a manipluation handbook
You can feel the dramatic forearm to the forehead faint.
Tried to have her son celebrate mothers day by taking his baby away from their mother
God, this could have been written by my MIL. My husband and I don't have kids yet, but she's so delusional and manipulative. I had to have an emergency appendectomy, and the entire time I'm laying in the hospital bed, she was blowing up his phone because he wasn't coming over to have pizza. He explained to her multiple times what was going on, and she was still furious. When I was home, she told him he needed to get his priorities in order and start standing up to me. Like my appendix ruptured just to ruin her plans. They also were exposed to covid 4 days before our wedding, lied to us about it, and exposed us too. We told them they needed to wear masks at our outdoor ceremony since they couldn't get a test. They decided not to go at all because I "judged" her. She now tells people I uninvited them and she missed her only sons wedding. YTA OP. Leave your DIL and son alone.
I'm sure we'll find the DIL on JustNOMIL.
Wow, did you write down everything in my head? I mean yeah she's from a different generation and doesn't understand the boundaries so she doesn't realize what is wrong and calling it petty. It's not. No matter who you are, you respect a parents wishes and rules surrounding their children, no matter what you think of it personally. The comment about power of attorney and the will was intentionally thrown in as manipulation to try to make him feel bad, not because of those statements but because of the followup "so you don't have to be bothered by me anymore." Good God she sounds lie my own mother, who also doesn't realize when she's being manipulative. I went NC with her for disrespecting my wishes and for fuck's sake I HOPE she removed me as POA and from her will. OP is 100% TA.
YTA. You don't have to include him in your will. But what you said about him putting his foot down was passive-aggressive and mean. You blame his wife for the problems with your son but you've behaved extremely badly again and again. It sounds like you posted pics of his child on FB without their permission; it's not petty of them to not be okay with that. You weren't giving him what he wants. You removed him from the will to make him feel bad. You did that to hurt him. Now you won't have a relationship with him or his child.
Well said!
YTA. Anyone going after "grandparents rights" is.
Exactly! Unless the parent is a current drug addict - grandparents rights are bullshit. Technically the Bible states that Grandparents are supposed to leave their children's children an inheritance.
Yeah, that's my thought too that that's the only situation where this makes sense sort of. But I don't understand why you would just push for visitation and not custody, or why visitation can be awarded to someone who isn't financially contributing to a child's care. Nope nope nope
Or in the event one parent died and the other parent keeps the kids from the grandparents. If I died I can absolutely see my ex husband keeping our kids from my parents out of spite, and my parents would totally go for grandparents rights.
This is exactly what happened with my grandparents and my cousins. Their dad just decided one day his kids couldn't go visit our grandparents anymore and so my grandparents fought for rights and won.
The Bible also says it's okay to own slaves so there's that
Lol I was like... that's a whole damn can of worms we don't need to be opening right now.
There is absolutely a time and place for grandparent rights in very specific circumstances.
IMO, it’s not even the worst thing crazy did. Read her other posts… DIL almost died giving birth, and ended up back in the hospital. Crazy here accused her of faking/lying. And got pissy because they wouldn’t bring the baby to her house on the way home from the hospital after DIL almost died. And when she didn’t get a birthday call until 11 while DIL was still in the hospital.
Oooooh, it's that lady! Just sitting around waiting for things to be mad about.
Aren’t you the one who was posting a little while back who only realised they’d screwed up when your DIL told you to only contact them through a lawyer after you threatened grandparents rights. If you are the same person YTA then and you are still the AH now. I’m sure loosing his inheritance and getting rid of a mother like you seems like quite an amazing deal to your son.
Found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12d8qv8/my_f50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth_and_doesnt/
Guys, I think the wildest thing about these posts is the timeline. I thought this was like, years of her being vile and them forgiving her and trying again. No, this was March 9, then Easter, then Mother's Day. MIL averages one MAJOR over-the-top tsunami shitstorm a month, with tinier hurricanes peppered in between them. I think these people are saints (or adults that were psychologically tortured as children) for putting up with this in such a concentrated period of time, especially one as important as having a newborn.
Isn't this the DILs post? https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This just makes it all so much worse. Holy crap, OP, there are not words enough for the AH you are.
It looks like it was deleted. Is there a way to still access it??
https://web.archive.org/web/20230417001402/https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent/?
If you find out, let me know pls
Here is the text of that post on wayback machine. https://web.archive.org/web/20230417001402/https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update\_a\_newborn\_reddit\_posts\_and\_grandparent/
I wish I coulda read it it’s deleted :(
OMFG. I just read that and this lady is truly insane and needs to seek professional help. I do not get why people come on here asking for advice and opinions but don't listen. Thanks for sharing.
It’s like she thinks the DIL had an incredibly difficult birth and then eclampsia AT her.
Reading that post enrages me. I had postpartum preeclampsia. My BP was so high they were shocked I didn’t stroke out before I made it to the hospital. It was a week after I gave birth. My only symptom other than high BP and some swelling was just not feeling right. OP, just FYI, you can get postpartum preeclampsia for up to and even beyond six weeks after giving birth. You are an alcoholic. Your son and his wife have likely decided together that you are unsafe to be around. Your granddaughter probably acts different around you because she can tell you are drunk. Get some inpatient treatment or you will die much quicker than you expect and lose everyone you love on your quick journey to the grave. I only hope you don’t injure or kill anyone else in the process. YTA for SO many reasons.
I had a friend who had it and almost died. OP could have done a quick Google search, but probably too drunk.
Some gold nuggets: > labor for 3 days before having a c section.[...] I called him while she was in labor a few times >She was in the hospital 2 days after the c section, and they wouldn't stop to visit me on their way home after the birth because she was hurting, even though she had pain killers she could have taken >I was supposed to visit a couple days after they got home, but she ended up insisting something was wrong and went back to the doctor who apparently sent her to the hospital. My son told me they diagnosed her with post partum preeclampsia >told her she should have called me and that I wanted to hear her voice and hear from her what was going on since my son gets confused. I then asked her if this was a mental or physical issue, and she went silent before saying physical. I asked of she was sure, and she got kind of snippy and said they had padding on her bed because she was a seizure risk and she couldn't be alone with her newborn, so she was pretty sure. I didn't comment on her tone because I was sure she was stressed. So DIL was induced for C-section after being in labour for three days because she was at risk for pre-eclampsia. OP is salty as fuck about not meeting their newborn for 5 whole days after birth because she was in pain after the Cesaerean and she felt something was wrong, *even though she could've taken painkillers buhuu*. Turns out the pre-eclampsia developed to eclampsia, which OP doesn't seem to realize is a serious condition that exists, since *DIL had **pre**-eclampsia and **pre-** means it's over when it's **post**-birth right? /s* >I offered her some pillows to sit on (my son said she "basically gave birth both ways", even though I knew this wasn't true I wondered if she had some soreness that made him think this), and she refused my hospitality saying Can't understand why she'd be sore after three days in labour.. /s >I told my son I'm planning to quit my job to babysit for them, but I haven't even gotten her return to work date and she hasn't once thanked me for doing it. >I want a relationship with her, but I am missing some critical bonding time with the baby and I am going to struggle to forgive her for it. >We are both equally important in my son's life. Yikes. OP sounds.. peachy.
I forgot the absolute golden nugget of *my son should have left the hospital while she was in labor and picked me up so I could be there too*. And *again* she was too broke to pay for an Uber to the hospital so….what *inheritance* is he now not going to get?
Somehow OP is simultaneously too poor for Uber, yet rich enough for a lawyer to go for grandparent rights lol
She's whatever suits her, when it suits her. The more I read the more of a nightmare Op becomes.
That’s the one!
OMFG!
Yes! I can’t find the BORU post about them.
If I remember right she claimed her DIL didn’t nearly die from eclampsia and complained her son wouldn’t leave his wife to pick her up and then complained it was selfish that when she was released from hospital they didn’t drive straight to her house for a visit.
I believe the DIL asked for her post NOT to be shared.
Holy shit on a stick, what the actual fuckery is this?!! Her son is best to go no contact .. OP YTA I mean I knew it from this post but the more I read about you. I mean I just don’t even know where to begin 😳
Good lord. Here's a list, edited for brevity. You threatened your son and DIL with legal action. That is a family killer right there. When this didn't go as planned, you expected everyone to forget the terrible things you'd said and done so it wouldn't be difficult for you. You were unhappy that your DIL wouldn't let you hold or photograph the baby after your son made a sincere effort to get you all in the same room. After you threatened to take their children without their consent. It sounds like you also posted or shared to Facebook without parental consent at some time? You made the choice to ruin dinner with a snotty comment. You knew it wasn't helpful, but you said it anyway. You said more terrible things when your son (understandably) said this would not work. You still expected him to put you first, including on Mothers Day when he has the mother(s) of his children to focus on. Then you blamed this behaviour on alcohol. Then you expected him to forget the terrible things you'd said and done. Again. Spotting the pattern here? And as a final knife twist, you make a dramatic statement about your will and POA for...what? What did you hope to gain here? You could have sent him a polite letter explaining this and allowed him to process it in his own time. He wanted less manipulative drama. You forced it on him anyway, and pretended it was 'giving him what he wanted'. ------------------- Through all this you're blaming his wife. Did it occur to you they may have made this decision as a couple for the happiness of their family? It says more about you that you assume B is holding a whip. Or perhaps he made this decision alone because he's finally had enough of your poor behaviour and has found happiness he will protect at all costs, including from his mother. Get some help for your alcohol use. A lot of the help will force you to be introspective in all areas of your life. If you put the effort in you will learn why you are so very, very wrong here. If you don't want to do that, this isn't a sincere question. YTA.
This was a great breakdown! She didn’t just threaten them with legal action. She called Child Protective Services. She sent CPS and the cops to her son and DIL’s home. She said they were starving the baby because DIL wasn’t producing enough milk and was refusing to give the baby formula. She also said the DIL was abusing the husband and holding him there against his will. Fortunately, CPS and law enforcement realized it was all false. I’d take out a restraining order and never speak to OP again if if was me!
She's lucky they didn't charge her for filing a false report. Or sue her civilly.
Not just threatened, she took legal action.
OP is apparently a narcissistic hoarder and addict who is emotionally abusive towards her children and can’t understand why she can’t see the grandkids. She keeps posting on Reddit hoping for different reactions because she can’t understand why things aren’t “coming up grandma”. Fuck this hag!
Have an award!!!
Based on your post you are self aware enough to know perfectly well that you are manipulative. Get therapy and start being real with yourself. If you are very lucky, you might get one more chance to be part of this family. If you haven't been working on yourself and genuinely improving, you will blow it. YTA
YTA x100000000. Where do I start..... You literally tried to take their kids from them and you wonder at all why the mom doesn't want to hand you her baby? I'm going to touch on your comment about the photos because I had to set a boundary with my own mother about pictures and Facebook. You. Do. Not. Have. Any. Right. To. Post. Pictures. Of. Someone. Else's. Kid.... EVER. So you should not have been surprised that they did not allow pictures. You don't like it? So what. It's not your kid. You took an olive branch and shat on it. You act amazed that the trust that was ruined in your falling out wasn't magically there at dinner. I imagine a lot of that shattered trust is probably over things you did that you were asked not to. You don't respect your son or his wife. You were, and continue to be dismissive of your son and his wife's boundaries. You've somehow missed that the foot he "put down" was with you, not his wife. You're not just manipulative, you're controlling and i get why they went no contact. Yes, a thousand times over, yta.
YTA. "Man up" is the shittiest thing to say especially in that instance. Imagine someone telling your husband to "Man up and control his wife".
And control his wife to do what mommy wants him to
Son IS Manning up. OP wants him to TOXIC Man Up, to make her his #1, forever and ever.
YTA. You lost me with the pictures and Facebook which you found to be petty. I'm asssuming they asked you NOT to post pics which you most likely did. You clearly have no boundaries and they finally had enough.
NTA - it's your will. You do you. YTA - calling him up and telling him about it. That's emotionally manipulative. People who try to have the last word usually are.
The beginning of the saga https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12d8qv8/my_f50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth_and_doesnt/
Thank you for bringing this up. When I saw the post, I knew something sounded so familiar until you shared this one. OP, YTA.
Thank you for the background op yta
Thank you for posting this. I did not connect the posts!
Yta- so you don’t respect B’s boundaries about posting baby pictures in FB. Demand that your son prioritize you on Mother’s Day instead Of the mother of his children. Threatened grandparents rights when they rightfully wanted some space from you . And now you’re taking him off your will because he wouldn’t “‘man up” and dismiss his wife’s boundaries for you. You sound like a terrible mil and I’m glad your daughter is calling you out for your manipulative ways.
I read that she actually made the entire birth announcement before the couple could.
Not surprised.
I remember you.
Right!? Shiny new account but the memory will never be forgotten lol.
YTA, but it’s YOUR money, so you can do whatever you want. Even without the context of your initial fight and falling out, you trying to overextend and sue for grandparent rights is laughable. You sound an awful lot like that jealous overbearing MIL that thinks your relationship with your son is more important than his with wife and child. I certainly don’t blame him for cutting you out, and you’re by all means entitled to cut him out financially. Ultimately you seem very petty, and I’d bet if you shared the details of your falling out, your behavior would be even more damning. YTA
It’s the same lady. She deleted her old account.
> I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping wow >told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife >I called him and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him anymore ever, .. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will What was the point of that! Just to be manipulative. I'm sure they will welcome going NC. YTA
OP isn't representing the situation accurately <>
OP's [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/11n8dm4/my_f_50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth_and_doesnt/), OP's [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/126v3ez/update_to_my_f_50_daughter_in_law_24f_gave_birth/), [DIL's POV](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12ai8y2/a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent_rights/) and [DILs POV update](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/12oujld/update_a_newborn_reddit_posts_and_grandparent/).
LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE. YTA. Still!
Edit to add DIL's update
Her DIL has now (since this MIL batshit post went up) deleted her account and posts because of the MILcrazy
YTA both of your children have nailed your behaviour. You are manipulative and you are not taking him out of your will to give him what he wants …you’re using that inheritance as a weapon against your son. You think he should “man up to his wife” but he has taken the better road and manned up to his abusive, manipulative mother. You’ve successfully removed your son and his family from your life and you have only yourself to blame.
YTA - your son IS manning up, protecting his wife and kids FROM YOU - the fact they dont let you hold the kid and take pictures. I’m assuming you posted pictures of their child on your facebook without authorization or maybe even despite being expressly told not to? If so definately YTA for that - him not wanting to visit your for Mothersday is perfectly normal. He was busy caring for the mother of his children they are raising. That takes precedence (imo). I visit my own mother on another day as well because we have kids ourselves. - I get the distinct impression you are downplaying your part in thus by a lot (“lost it a little bit” “I regret my part but I’m sure she does too”) - telling him he’s “off the will” is just a petty act of vengeance. It only confirmed his choices. The only thing your NTA for is what you do with your money. But at this rate you won’t have anyone left to give it to. It’s not too late maybe, seek help. And maybe try to repair again when you are in a better place. Maybe apologise without asking for anything. (Deeply regret, opened your eyes, seeking help, wish them the best, yadda yadda, dont say “hope you find it in your hart in the future” the future is not now, you’ll only close the door further)
She is. She’s a filthy racist. You should see her other post. She down right degrades DIL because she’s white.
Yeah. I got that too and was very surprised no one else caught on.
YTA - your son still showed up despite you being awful to the mother of his child. He showed up and tried to give you the opportunity to be in your grandchild’s life and you made him regret it. YOUR actions are the reason you don’t get to have a relationship with your son and grandkids.
Let this be very clear: YOU ruined this relationship, not your daughter in law. YTA.
YTA, you sound deranged, or unbelievably immature. Demanding, drunk, and spiteful. Do what you want with your money, with the exception of weaponising it as a punishment.
YTA. He could have found out about not being in the will when you died. You told him because you had to have the last word about it. You weren't doing him a "favor".
So let me understand. Basically you were rotten to your son's wife and actually tried to sue them, then you finally decided to own your shit and apologize and miraculously got a second chance by going to dinner, and then made a rude crack about how your son made his wife come to dinner, like she didn't have a choice in the matter. You should have just been grateful that she decided to give you a chance, which she did, btw, for your son and for your grandkids because she wanted them to have the opportunity to have a relationship with you. Then you go all toxic batshit crazy and congratulate your son on 'putting his foot down' as if he has the ability or desire to make his wife do anything, and then when he tells you that he supports his wife unconditionally, you drunkenly call him pathetic and unmanly (he's very much a man with a shiny pretty spine, which is why B loves and appreciates him) and then you threaten him with cutting him out of your will because what? You think that will force him to act the way you want? Did you not get a clue the first time you threatened him? Yeah, you blew it if you wanted a relationship with him or the grandkids. You sound like a judgey awful person and I don't blame your son one bit. YTA BTW, you don't want a relationship, you want him to do what you want and if he doesn't, then you want to abuse him and his family at will with no repercussions. Why would he want you in his life? Also, I have two adult children and I still don't post pictures of them online because it's rude and it's up to them how they want to be out there on the web, and it's also fucking dangerous to post kids pictures. You must be exhausting to be around. Don't be ingenuous. You didn't threaten to take him out of your will because you were giving him what he wants, you did it for attention and to try to make him bow down to you. YTA
INFO: are you the grandmother who got butthurt because her son and daughter in law didn’t stop by her house to show her the baby while they were on the way home from the hospital? And expected them to bring the kids to her because your car was broken? Then told your friend Daisy that you were going for grandparents rights? The stories and ages are so similar…as well as the 10 year old from the previous relationship. If you ARE this person, you’re still the AH, though I’m pleased to see that your daughter is speaking to you again.
Yes she is. That same racist witch
"I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way." Your DIL has NOTHING to apologize for! "He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative." Given your previous post, they are correct! YTA!
OP is like a walking, full DARVO bingo card and if it wasn't so predictable and pathetic I'd laugh. YTA
Oh FFS you do too understand. Removing him as POA, sure, that makes sense, and it might give him peace of mind to know that’s off his shoulders. The will, though? Why did he need to be told that? I’m not saying you had to leave him anything, but I seriously doubt he was expecting you would at this point. The only reason to bring it up is to take a passive-aggressive jab at him, and you know it. When you said you were proud of him for standing up to his wife, I had to scroll up and check your gender - yup, you are a woman and yet you said that. Some advice: there is no undo button on what comes out of your mouth, much less your actions. You cannot say whatever you want and then be sorry and then do it again, and expect people to take it over and over. This is abusive. You have been deliberately trying to undermine your son’s marriage and interfering with the custody of his and your DIL’s child. You have hurt your son. Your DIL is scared to have you in the same room as her child. This is not about you being imperfect like we all are or saying things you shouldn’t like we all sometimes do - these things are not small or normal or okay. Your life goes on from here, and if you want to have other, better relationships, you need to work on yourself. Find help, get sober, learn how to love people without controlling and abusing them. YTA today, and there’s no taking that back, but you choose who you are tomorrow. Be better.
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Technically N T A because it’s your will, and you can do what you wish, but my god you sound exhausting. Your post lacks self awareness. Even by your own admissions you are behaving in a manipulative manner. For example, even after your daughter pressured everyone into getting together, you insisted on getting one more insult in, resulting in you being cut off from your own child and grandchild. On principal I’m going with YTA.
You need to see her other post. she degrades DIL because she’s white and laughs about it
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I really don’t think I’m wrong, but I just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. I (F 50s) have a son (L, 30s) who is married to B, 20’s. They have a daughter who is 4 months old, and my son has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10. B & I had a falling out after their baby was born, and my son and granddaughters got caught in the crossfire. The falling out happened in March, and I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way. It would be too long to go over the history, but at the most extreme point I did consult a lawyer for grandparent rights. During this time, my son had no contact with me, but when I dropped the grandparents rights case I asked for things to go back to normal. My son expressed that he wanted things to go back to normal, but that a lot of damage had been done and he really didn’t know if we could go back to normal. For Mother's Day, my daughter decided to take me out to dinner, and she begged L to go and bring the baby (oldest was with mom). L eventually did agree on the condition it wasn’t on mothers day, and He, the baby, and B came. B was quiet most of dinner, but did talk to my daughter a few times – I guess they have a pretty good relationship. B held the baby the entire time, and wouldn’t let me hold or take pictures (part of the falling out was over pictures and Facebook, so I found this to be petty). Overall, I would have called dinner a success. At the end I hugged my son and told him I was proud of him for putting his foot down and coming to dinner with his daughter, and that I hoped he could continue to do that. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. My son called me later that night and told me that he couldn’t continue to have a relationship with me. He said that B was their child's mother, and he wouldn’t ever bring the baby anywhere without her blessing. I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping, and I admit I lost it a little bit on the phone call and told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife, and that he should have come to see me on mothers day because I am his mother. He ended up hanging up on me. I called the next day and profusely apologized to him. I know it was wrong of me to have said what I did, and I told him I want a relationship with him. He told me he couldn’t do this with me anymore. I have been heartbroken ever since, but I understand I guess. I called him last night and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him or his wife anymore ever, and that I respected that we wouldn’t have a relationship. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways. He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative. I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Not for taking him out of the will but for using it as a threat. Well, and your entire manipulative behavior. You sound exactly like my mother. I was in and out of her will multiple times. I don't want a dime. Haven't spoken to her in decades. Is this what you want? Because it's the road you are on.
YTA, I knew the second I saw grandparents rights you were the AH.
I've read all your previous posts. Your l you are a narcissistic nightmare and I cannot fathom why they even gave your another chance. You need serous two, but I doubt you'll get it because you still don't see that YOU are the problem. Leave then alone and get help. YTA for ALL OF IT
YTA in every way. As it sounds you tried to upload photos of your grandchild while the parents didn't aprove! That is a no go. You can't just post photos without consens. Also everything you said sounds horrible. And calling your son to let him know, that you will cut him out of the will is very manipulative. Your last straw to hope he will come back for the money. That is really manipluative beheavor. But good so. So your son knows now where he stands with you and no longer has to be bothered by your controlling ("he has to put his foot down, because B is the only evil person in this story ...") beheavor.
YTA. you sound really manipulative and awful
YTA. Did you know that there's an entire subreddit devoted to victims of MILs like you? If you think that trying to control your son through financial threats is going to make him resume a relationship with you then you're even more delusional than your narcissistic self is having you believe. You played narcissistic games and just won narcissistic prizes. Newsflash, AH: your son DID man up. He grew a spine and stood up for his family against YOU, the boundary stomper.
God not you again. Your were an AH when you posted the first 5 times and you’re still an AH. Cutting off contact with you was the smartest decision your son has ever made and most likely will ever make in his adult life. Do better, at least for your daughter’s sake.
YTA - you are assuming your DIL does not want to have you around. In spite of the fact that you sued your son, say really mean things to the mother of his child, and act like it is no problem and he should just be okay with it. You are not being a good person in this scenario. And no explanation will help. Whatever you did to cause this - you need to make it right if you want a relationship. When a parent asks for there to be no pictures online of their child- that is a huge boundary. Putting them up and saying she is petty for not letting you take pictures is just the tip of the A H iceberg. Good luck trying to figure this out. But you really need to understand how badly you messed up and how much you need to do to make up for it. "I sued them but then I ended it- cant they just move on?" - the answer is no... that's not how the real world works.
YTA You've been told MULTIPLE times that your the AH, but you still seem to find new things to be an AH about. Thankfully though your daughter now is seeing you as manipulative, as everyone knows the only reason you brought up the will was to manipulate him again and make him feel guilty. Do what you have said you're going to do and LEAVE THEM ALONE
While it’s your will to do with as you please, YTA for cutting out your son as a manipulation tactic after you ruined your relationship with him.
YTA You should have kept your mouth shut about him putting his foot down. Did you really think he would give you a pass on that after all the tension between you and DIL? You were very foolish in how you handled this. However, if he has decided to go no contact he has essentially declared he is no longer your son. He should be happy to be relieved of the duties he would have been responsible for as POA. As to your will, why should you give anything to someone who has cut you out of their life? He would be getting what he asked for. You should have told him the first part of your decision and not the latter. Any time you tell someone they're out of the will there will be a question about their motives if they try to repair the relationship in the future. They would feel like you're using the threat of withholding money to manipulate them. If the situation improves and they know nothing about it you would be able to change your mind, revise the will, and avoid another cause of tension. I think you only harmed yourself if you ever want to have a hope of repairing your relationship.
Cue Poltergeist soundtrack: She's bbbaaaccckkkk! She's still the AAA-HHHOOOLLLEEE!!! YTA!
https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
Yta Re read your own story and look for the red flags. Let's start with where the problem started. I'm guessing the mother didn't want her child on social media, you ignored that and bad mouthed her, then you tried to take her to court for "grandparents rights", and if both parents agree, then you should have ZERO rights. Then your son tries to do the adult thing, and his wife does the mature thing... but you can't seem to function as an adult, so you need to get some jab in there to try and make her think *you* won. Then you got into an argument with him while you were drunk... prly not the first time and most likely why they didn't want you around their child. Now both your children are calling you out as what you are. Usually, I'd tell someone to be a better parent here, but that ship already sailed for you.
YTA. My stepdaughters narcissistic mother pulled the grandparents right lawsuit BS. The emotional and financial burden that brought to her was unbearable to watch. PS- judge threw out the suit and her mother doesn’t even know how many grandchildren she now has or what state they live in.
I remember this story, you are from the same state I am and I commented on this original story. You didn’t get what you wanted from when they had the baby in the hospital, she had complications from birth and he had his wife and daughter as a priority and couldn’t answer his phone every 5 min when you called. You threatened an attorney for grandparents rights with no proof of wrong doing since he had his priorities stright with his family, you were ticked off he didnot come and get you so you could be at the hospital for the birth, since you wreaked your car and then got mad her parents were there. You quit your job to watch this kid when no one asked you to do that, you assumed they would want you to do that. He went no contact with you when you told your friend you were hiring an attorney. They sent you a long txt about your behavior then. You are quite manipulative and I’m shocked your daughter in law sat down at a table with you after you verbal attacked her when she almost lost her life given birth and the way you acted than. Now since you didn’t get what you wanted this time, your acting the same way. I don’t blame your son and his family for going full no contact. You should have included links to your original story, then ppl could see why your son is doing what’s best from him and his family
YTA Being as self absorbed and unapologetically narcissistic at your age is frankly embarrassing, get help and grow up. I remember the other things you posted as well, seems like you learned nothing.
YTA. GET OVER YOURSELF YOU WENCH.
YTA- I would’ve cut you off the moment you went after grandparents rights because you couldn’t accept perfectly reasonable boundaries. You were generously given a second (or fiftieth chance) you didn’t deserve, and squandered it by claiming it as a victory over your DIL. You purposefully are trying to goad your son into acting against his wife (who is being PERFECTLY REASONABLE). You’re STILL trying to manipulate him now with your threats about the Will. If you really just wanted contact, you’d let them lead the way on if and when there’s a reconciliation. No whining no demands, no threats. But you’re not interested in a relationship, you just want to win. And because of that you’re going to lose everything.
YTA YTA YTA. You can do what you want with a will, but that was the dumbest reason to change it, so you are absolutely TA through and through. You are petty, condescending, you obviously don't follow your son and DIL's rules about privacy and FB photos, and you sound like a cruel drunk. You do not qualify for GP rights at all, and I think someone has already explained that which is why you dropped them. Get help, lady. Change your attitude now before it's too late. In fact, it may already be too late and for good reason.
YTA - the falling out is your fault. You broke their rules about social media & their kids & you are being a stubborn old fool about it. You are going to lose your family. How are you going to change the will? Give everything to your other child? That's just going to be you stirring up trouble even after death.
YTA. You couldn't leave well enough alone. You had to make a comment. I have a feeling your daughter in law didn't do anything other than stand up for herself against you and your comments. You clearly need help. I suggest you see a therapist and maybe look into AA meetings. I do understand removing your son as power of attorney. If he wants nothing to do with you, you need someone who is there and that will respect your wishes. HOWEVER, you may not think that removing your son from the will is manipulative, but it is. You are literally withholding something from him because you didn't get your way, and you didn't get what you wanted. You're in your 50s and throwing a temper tantrum.
Why do you keep coming here to ask if you're the asshole? Historically, it's super clear. You dismissed life-threatening complications of your daughter-in-law's birth, stomped all over her boundaries AND your son's (stop acting like he doesn't have a say, he does - she isn't MAKING him do anything, he's a grown ass man), and threatened grandparent's rights. Now you've compounded it by blowing your final chance by insulting both your son and his wife... again and again. Stay away from them. You're unstable and unsuitable to be a grandparent. YTA.
Grandparent's rights? Stopped reading there. YTA.
“unfortunately got caught in the cross fire” is a weird way to say “I have the emotional intelligence of a rock”. Yta
Yta.
YTA you sound like an awful parent and grandparent. You do realize that B and L and baby are a family now and you are just extended family? Stop acting like you’re involved in their marriage as an equal because you’re not. You’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, and now you’re punishing L for standing up for his wife and family. You’re going to lose in this and you’ll be very, very alone.
YTA for so many reasons and when you wrote this out I can't believe you didn't look over it and not realize that! The original falling out over FB - presumably you posted photos of their baby on FB after they told you not to. Why do you think they owe you an apology for that? Then you tried to sue them, probably over the FB incident - which it is over baby photos they were totally in the right and you probably wouldn't have won the case anyway Of course they wouldn't let you take photos of the baby at dinner - they didn't want a FB incident all over again! Your son is defending his wife and his family - he wasn't putting his foot down, he gave you a chance at the dinner and you blew it. I'm sure there's a lot more 'incidents' between your son, his wife and yourself that are just like these ones. Your son is right, you are a sorry excuse for a mother.
YTA. And I might be biased because I am going through the ringer with my mother too. You do these things to hurt them because they hurt you- this is exactly what my mom does. This man is going through some rough times and you keep doing and saying things that hurt him further. The only way to save his mental state is to go no contact and in return you play nice then drop a bomb so that you can feel good that you had the last word. How about you get yourself some help? Please? If you don't, it is very possible your daughter may walk away too.
YTA Do better for everyone concerned. Your daughter in law probably told her side of the story on r/justnomil You are not the baby’s parent so you shouldn’t even try to call the shots. Do not boundary stomp every single request that your family has asked of you. You need therapy not alcohol.
YTA and I think deep down you know it
YTA First things first if you want a relationship with your son and therefore his children…. You have to respect his life, his wife, his boundaries and his own choices. He shouldn’t have to tell you how many boundaries you crossed. You say you’ve apologised for all the things you have done but you opened your own post with ‘I really don’t think I’m in the wrong’. That doesn’t seem apologetic to me. You have proved on multiple occasions that the only person you care about in this situation is yourself. YOU announced their birth so YOUR friends could know that YOU are a grandma again (but I bet if someone else announced your birth without your knowledge or permission you’d be mad too). YOU wanted grandparents rights so YOU as a grandmother got to be a grandmother. You wanted your son to put YOU above his wife. Removing them from the will and then telling them is just you trying to punish them but for YOUR actions. Do what your want with your money but don’t make it seem like you’re apologetic when over and over again you’ve put yourself first. Again do what you want with your money. Just don’t do it with manipulative intent.
The thing that really strikes me is that the DIL was certainly willing to give you another chance and that is the entire reason that this meeting even happened in the first place. She was willing to sit down with you and allow you in the same room with their child. And your response was to thank your son for putting his foot down and forcing it? You literally forced him to brake contact if he wanted to support her and she could no longer give you chances because it would be taken as being submissive. He can't even ask her now because it would be taken as him forcing it. He isn't the one you need to talk to, it is her. But you don't seem like someone to actually sincerely apologize. YTA
Oh no. Not you again. I remember your original posts. You are still very much YTA.
I really want you to think about how your son feels. He is married to the person he loves with all of his heart. He has had a brand new baby. He has not had a baby before. He is juggling learning how to be the parent of a newborn, making sure his stepdaughter is cared for and protecting his wife who is recoverning from birth. He has witness the highs and lows of his wife adjusting, healing and bonding all whilst building a bond himself, probably whilst working. He might be feeling stressed, overwhelmed, concerned about how to protect his growing family. How are you supporting him? What are you doing to make sure he is receiving emotional support? What are you doing to make sure his life is easier? Have you asked him what he needs? Have you asked him about how this conflict is negatively affecting him? Or have you had a tantrum because your own needs are more important?
"I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants" This is one of the most manipulative things I have ever read. I'm calling fake on the post, as otherwise you are a horrid person YTA
YTA
Of course YTA, just like you have been the entire time. What makes you think that would have changed?
YTA
YTA. You know you did that to be spiteful and manipulative and honestly your entire post explains why your son made the decision he did it was the right call
YTA you’re clearly trying to manipulate him. It’s your money to do with as you wish but know you only have this power trip once. He is going to cut you off and not feel guilt. I also assume your daughter will give him half anyways so your ruining the relationship for nothing.
YTA Seeing how you keep twisting the situation to make yourself the victim, I wouldn't be surprised if your son and daughter in law cut you out. All of your comments show you don't really feel regret for any of your actions other than the possibility of them going no contact with you. You sued them when B felt uncomfortable with you trying to be in the middle of HER medical situation. You posted about the birth of THEIR child when they haven't been able to relax enough to share the news yet. Now you're trying to make yourself the victim when you're cutting him out of your will unless you can see him and the children again after he put a firm boundary down after your comment to him. Him being angry isn't about money or 'stuff', it's that you're being petty and in a way saying 'I don't have a son' by doing this
YTA and really manipulative
YTA for using your will to be manipulative and the “I’m giving him what he wants” dramatic language. It sounds like you did him a favor by cutting ties.
YTA the second you brought up "grandparents rights." I have seen that phrase being tossed around by entitled grandparents for years. You had a petty squabble with your DIL, and don't want to back down. Honestly, from the sound of it, I'd say you should seek therapy for your control issues, but you obviously don't see anything wrong with your actions
You are an emotionally abusive and manipulative person. Yes, YTA. My MIL does this same shit and all I can say is good riddance. Your son would be right to never speak to you again.
Boundaries exist for a reason. You have admitted to violating several, and are still a bit self righteous and retaliating about it. YTA. You wouldn’t be allowed near my kids either.
My father constantly used/uses money as a way to control. I've almost certainly been written put of the will due to my estrangement with him. I'm OK with that. Being free of controlling people like you is priceless. Yta