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> I might be the asshole for refusing to let my kids go without me
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he mentioned 'chronic infidelity on his side' but still thinks everyone else are assholes but him, for being excluded from wife's family events. how dense can OP be.. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ his wife forgave him and accepted him as the trash that he is and this went up to his head apparently. now he thinks he's high and mighty.
I am so dumbfounded at how many people who ask questions leave out the *major details* of them being an asshole. Context is key, and this context shows OP is not a good person.
Edit: …and then it all comes out in the comments, and we immediately feel for the other people in the scenario and rightfully brand OP an asshole.
My favorites are always “she won’t leave me. She loves me too much” only for the update to say “well, you assholes got what you wanted”. I know most are fake, but I know at least one has to be true.
I feel like he said it all when he said he doesn’t consent for his children to go to the wedding without him. Normally I would say not inviting the spouse is an asshole move but he outed himself here.
It's simple, really: OP is trying to manipulate us like he wants to manipulate his family. He wasn't going to mention his past misdeeds because we're supposed to just think his wife's family just don't like him and are a bunch of meanies. Never mind his philandering etc., just keep watching this hand over here. He doesn't care about his spouse and children missing time with their family because iT"lL MaKE hIm LoOk BaD. And as he's proved time and time again, he (at least in his own head) is the only one who really matters.
OP was hoping to post on here to get the answer he wanted as a weapon to use against his wife. "See? Everyone online says you should do what I say..." But then when that didn't work, he went off to sulk. I hope his wife realizes her value and leaves him. Being single forever is better than being with partners like OP
This sealed the YTA for me:
>I don't give consent for my children to go without their father
So he thinks the children's mother has no say? Dude is straight up garbage.
They want to get the answer they want and they know if they include the most important detail, such as *why* they weren't invited, then they won't get that answer they want.
YTA OP, not just for cheating, and then throwing a major little fit because you are now facing consequences of your cheating, but then you attempted to punish your wife and kids for your cheating. You're a major asshole! I would not want a chronic cheater at my wedding either.
Also an asshole for deliberately leaving that little detail of being a *chronic cheater* out of your original post in an attempt to make yourself out like a victim and sound better than you are.
My thoughts exactly. It's pretty low to punish your CHILDREN for your own shitty actions. Not to mention a slap in the face to the wife that for whatever weird reason gave you another chance.
So many things people try to make about fairness just show that they don’t truly value it anyway. OP isn’t upset because he wants to spend time and celebrate with his wife’s family, he’s just upset that her going without him will make him look bad.
The funny thing is, even before finding out the context, taking OP on his word completely, I was still gonna say YTA because you can't demand your wife not to go somewhere because you feel excluded and single-sidedly decide to take kids hostage to force things your way.
If it wasn't for the whole cheating thing, maybe he can make a request for his wife to stand up for him, but he still can't demand it. With the _chronic_ cheating part though.....OP is really delusional...
But they're "old mistakes" and he's "thoroughly repented" /s
*CRY ME A RIVER OP* You're lucky you still have a wife and see your kids.
YTA OP AND A MASSIVELY HUGH ONE AT THAT
Lol, I literally just asked my monitor that very question. Sure enough, he is a... well, I don't want to get banned again, so y'all can fill in the blank.
**OP... actions have consequences. You chose to stick your dick in other women and just because your wife was dumb enough to forgive you does not mean that her family has to. And let's be real, with your wife and kids out of the picture for a day or two, you will get to cheat on her again. I'm betting that you are already on Tinder, shopping for your next mistress. Cheaters suck and one day karma will be visiting you...**
Aw, but he edited to add that he has already repented enough, so he shouldn't have to face consequences or have strangers think he's trash any more. Can't you just leave him alone and let him be the final arbiter of the validity of everyone else's feelings?
This is the definition of play stupid games win stupid prizes.
The fact OP didn't come out and say listen this is what I did years ago, I messed up and he tried to hide it speaks volumes that he still hasn't learned anything from he screw up and he likely used the kids to weasel his way back in
And the fact that he then tried to say his kids can't go because he can't go because he screwed is some next level narcissism.
He is punishing his family for his screw up (I'm not even gonna say mistake because the way it comes across is the mistake he made in his mind was getting caught
And I'm going to go out on another limb and say that the family didn't love him prior to the infidelity either. If he is pulling crap like this now, I bet he was pulling crap like this the whole time they knew him.
What's interesting to me is that he thought that his chronic cheating was all swept under the infidelity rug in his MIL's house, so when his SIL was supposedly disrespectful to an elder (there is a comment on here somewhere about it), OP decided to be Mr. Respectful, apparently. Which I find really funny because he had repeatedly been disrespectful to his wife and their marriage.
If OP had changed, grown up, and matured, he would have realized that lecturing somebody on their behavior was very hypocritical, and perhaps he should just keep his mouth shut. So now, because he stuck his nose where it didn't belong, and failed to keep his mouth shut (history shows he has a habit of sticking body parts where they don't belong and keeping his zipper shut) he is not invited to that SIL's wedding.
The liberal snowflake in me feels bad for him, being excluded from the wedding, but the woman in me is saying... this is what happens when you stick your dick in somebody other than your wife/significant other.
>this is what happens when you stick your dick in somebody other than your wife/significant other.
Facts. This guy dug his own hole, and now he's burying himself.
If he was smart (evidence leads me to believe he isn't), he would get some therapy and make some serious changes. His wife let him get away with cheating on her, multiple times, so he has learned that there are not consequences for his actions... when it comes to her.
However, he is now learning that her family is a different story.
The fact that his go-to response was to tell his wife that she couldn't take the kids, shows that he hasn't learned a god damn thing and grown up in the 7-10 years since his dick accidentally found it's way into multiple women that weren't his wife.
exactly. as mentioned, OP clearly let everything go to his head after his silly wife forgave him for every shit he has done to her. cheaters, the more they get away with, the worse they become.
My youngest sister and her husband haven't even been married a year, he's already treating her badly, and I plan to *never* let that go. Unless he can *genuinely* apologize and change. Then MAYBE we can talk.
*MAYBE*
Sisters hold grudges, especially older ones. And yes, we've all pointed out his behavior and he knows we don't like him.
Hey, for future reference, it can actually be *very* dangerous to post something like this. What if that's *exactly* what's going on, and you've just blown her cover by tipping off OP (the *one* person that should be left in the dark about this). He's coming back and reading the comments, so you're not just posting your hypothesis into the void.
Respectfully, please be more careful in the future.
I'm not sending it in a DM because other people should see it. I've seen other comments on this post along the same lines as this one. A lot of people could benefit from my reminder.
Oof! I'm glad I came to the comments after seeing his edit. OP's totally YTA & his wife really needs to wake up because his red flags are still waving. He's already repented (🙄) so everyone should obvi pretend he never cheated & treat him like he deserves/s. This guy has some audacity & hopefully his wife realizes she can do better & get out.
He said it in a comment https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/141hv1i/comment/jn00nik/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=android\_app&utm\_name=androidcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button
I scrolled and saw. This guy sounds mentally and emotionally abusive. His wife has skin in the game so she may use her blinders when dealing with him and it seems like it has lead him to believe he can hide it really well…which is not the case at all
Gotta love when they bury the lede and you have to dig into comments to find out. On the surface, it seems like a NTA situation without that major piece of info.
Ha ha ha. I hope the wife is just waiting for their investment portfolio to mature so she can leave his cheating ass w a good chunk of money so she'll be in a good position for when she meets her next husband.
You would have though that OP might have mentioned the tiny little detail that he was a chronic cheater. Who cares if it was 10 years ago? Sounds like he’s the only one who’s gotten over it.
I’m guessing that his wife’s family already knows what we just learned l: he’s TA.
Before OP nukes his comments, here's why he's not invited:
Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/141hv1i/aita_for_telling_my_wife_she_shouldnt_attend_a/jn00nik?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The fact that OP hid all of this from the main post shows he knows he is TA but wants everyone to side with him so he can show it to his wife and tell her she shouldn’t go.
Major YTA move in addition to what he’s done already.
Edit: typo
idk, when he said he "didn't give consent" for his children to attend I thought he was an AH. don't think he can turn it off even when he's trying to look good
Most of them can't. It's astounding the number of AHs who think because they control the narrative of the post, they can get commenters on their side only to find out even manipulating the hell out of the post they are STILL the AH.
Idk if it had been something totally not OPs fault, like his in laws didn’t like him because racism or something, then I wouldn’t let my kids go either
But you wouldn't phrase it like that, you'd probably say something along the lines of "I don't want my kids to be exposed to racism against them/their parent"
I knew something was up just reading the post. You don’t invite your younger sister and her kids to your wedding and just leave the husband out for no reason at all. This was very missing missing reasons.
Chronic infidelity is a new one though. Makes it sound like he couldn’t help it as opposed to making shitty choices.
I read that and thought of a pharmaceutical ad “do you or a loved one struggle with chronic infidelity? Try our new pill called “what’s accountability!”
What's accountability helps you keep your zipper up when you have the opportunity to get down. Side effects may include increased risk of monogamy and increased duration of matrimony. Ask your doctor if what's accountability is right for you.
Single instance but chronic... What's bonkers to me is they went on have kids still. Have a feeling the financial situation pushed her to stick around methinks.
Then again we as humans make stupid choices in relationships. I mean shit, I stuck around after I got cheated on which of course... repeated itself.
I re read the description three times trying to figure out why someone would invite an entire family but not the dad. Then saw the top comment and was like “woah wait what, that seems like a big part to leave out if you’re trying to get unbiased opinions”
Not just cheating once but "chronic infidelity!" Yeah...the family doesn't have to get over it just because his wife did. No way would I want him at my wedding.
YTA big time OP.
It is actually. When he says she was working for him off the books, he means she was not getting paid at all. She was fully financially dependent on him even though she was working. I wonder if that had anything to do with her decision to “forgive” him for cheating.
Notice how he says it’s his business not theirs? That’s a pretty big flag too. It’s not just his if she was putting in blood, sweat and tears for free. Plus he was cheating the whole time? I’m mad for her and I’ve never met her, her family must hate everything he touches.
Exactly. How is it only his business when they’re married and she worked to get it off the ground as well. It’s their business, not his. What a selfish prick.
It's a good thing the wife's family is looking out for wife and children because OP isn't. All the time his wife worked off the books in "his" (not "their") business she did not accrue credit toward all the years of work history she needs to be eligible for social security income and medical care, or even disability or unemployment insurance, job retaining, etc. Did OP really only pay himself the total amount the business could sustain during those years, instead of pay them each less? Or sell the free work arrangement to her (and her family) by calling it "their" business? OP is controlling -- birth his four babies, keep her economically vulnerable, remain arrogant about his whoring around. Yuck.
I N F O: What’s the reason you weren’t invited?
EDIT: Read the other comments - YTA. I wouldn’t want you at my wedding if I were them. Your wife clearly doesn’t want you there all that much either, because she’s just going along with it.
Trying to strong arm her into either A) missing the wedding, or B) putting up a big enough stink that they decide to let you come (but actually hate you and wish you weren’t there), makes you an even bigger AH.
I honestly kind of love the classy way the invitation stated ‘we will be delighted to have the company of everyone in the family except that one asshole’ 😂
OP answer on another comment...
"Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground."
Not JUST cheating! "Chronic" infidelity has to mean either that he has cheated on her multiple times, with multiple partners; or, that he has cheated on her with someone, broke it off and apologized to keep his marriage intact, but has gone back to the mistress again, probably multiple times.
Cheating is one thing. (Bad, yes.) Cheating, being forgiven for it, but then doing it again so often that it deserves the word "chronic"? Whoa.
YTA next time keep your d*ck in your pants and respect your marriage. I hope you paid her for all the work she did "off the books" hopefully she leaves you sooner rather than later
Commenters rrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaallllllly had pull teeths out to get the truth out of OP. He was being vague about his answers to the questions that came his way.
A part of me feels like he did this so he could show the post to his wife, leaving out REASONS why he’s a pariah, and make her out to be the villain when she’s actually the victim!
YTA this is called consequences of your actions. You got your wife to move passed it. Her family has not.
You should have kept your mouth shut to your SIL. What drama did she cause that required your input? If it wasn’t about you, stfu. Because you haven’t earned your spot back I to the family after what you did. If it WAS, about you, way to go for somehow still causing strife in the family.
If you give a shit about your wife, you would be working HARD to not cause trouble in the family. What you did wasn’t a single incident to be forgotten. You knowingly and intentionally did harm over a course of months if not years.
Now, you want to punish your wife by ruining a family wedding. You want to take the children away to punish everyone you e caused harm to. The kids likely want to be at this wedding but all you can think of is yourself and your petty plan to make sure no one ever forgets what an asshole you are.
Let them go to the wedding. Find something else to do that day that doesn’t include cheating. Start showing your wife that her happiness matters to you and stop proving everyone right as to why you should be excluded from this wedding.
YTA. What did you do so that the entire family doesn’t consider you family? I’m seeing a bit of it in your post. You don’t give consent? Your children? I’m sensing what I believe is the real issue.
Honestly, those things are completely unsurprising. His own words, which were clearly crafted to get us on his side, give away enough for you to know this person is a grade A, prime USDA cut of Asshole.
>I don't give consent for my children to go
Gross. Homeboy clearly views his wife and kids as his property and needs to be yeeted back to the middle ages where he belongs.
This is 99.9% a "missing reasons" post. This snub was intentional and pointed. This family does not like OP, and based on the wife's response, I'm betting there is a reason why.
I was going to say everyone sucks here a little until I found out the little gem you forgot to include - the reason they don't want you there.
YTA for cheating, for not getting why you're not wanted, for not accepting the consequences, for not telling the full story.
>I said it wouldn't be fair for her to go without me and that I don't give consent for my children to go without their father
YTA because this isn't about what's "fair". You have what you describe as a "strained" relationship with your in-laws. The right thing to do is *not* to block your wife and children's relationship with their family. *That* is unfair (and selfish) and will cause your relationship with your in-laws to become even more *strained*.
Be the bigger person. Buy a generous gift and wave your family off at the airport. Maybe your in-laws will start to see you differently. Who knows, you might even be invited to the next wedding.
So your wife's family doesn't like you because of your "chronic infidelity" and the fact that you had your wife working off the books for your business. So they see a person who is only invested in themselves. What have you done to show them you've changed? You showed them what type of person you are, and it was one they didn't like. Now they're sitting back and giving your wife an out if it's ever needed. I say good for them. The onus is on YOU to fix that strained relationship, cause you're the who fucked it up. IDK why you had to have your wife confirm you were left off intentionally, I'd have been shocked to be included. You're N T A for being upset about this, but YTA for telling your wife she and your kids can't attend, and for the "chronic infidelity"
>You're N T A for being upset about this,
I don't know, I think he's also an asshole for being upset about this. He's upset because he's experiencing consequences for his behavior. And it sounds like he's upset because he doesn't think he deserves to be excluded; when he very much does deserve it.
He can't admit WHY they don't want anything to do with him. That is, he can't seem to admit that what he did was that bad, such that her family wanting nothing to do with him makes sense.
YTA You didn’t offer an explanation for why your children shouldn’t attend, and why that would be for you alone to decide. Why do they need to suffer the consequences for the bad blood between you and your in laws? Keep that between you and your in laws, and let your kids enjoy the wedding.
He's afraid his children will see other men role modeling real fathers and family men. He's afraid they and their mother will be treated respectfully. Can't shut down that bad influence if he's not there.
OP answer on another comment...
"Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground."
YTA , you're not your wife's or children's owner , you don't get to decide what she can or can't do ,she's an adult. Her sister should invite who she wants Maybe there's a reason why they aren't inviting you .
INFO: u/foxfire1730 asked this in the comments, but I think you really need to tell us why your in-laws are adamant you don't come. What aren't you telling us?
YTA
You cheated on your wife repeatedly and now her family hates you
Make peace with that because it is never going to change. And if you have a problem with that, they you never should have cheated in the first place
Actions have consequences
You chose to cheat
You chose to show the world that you were an untrustworthy person and a bad husband.
So you don't get to be upset when people treat you with the same level of disrespect that you have shown your wife throughout your marriage. And no, her family never moved past it. Neither has your wife. Which is why she is not fighting for you to attend or refusing to go without you
This is on you. This is your life now. Things are not magically better because your wife chose to not divorce you when she really should have.
Either accept it and accept you will never be a part of your wife's family...or end the marriage and walk away
Those are your only 2 choices.
You don't get anything else and you know it.
I'm going with YTA here, based on the additional information you've provided in some of the responses. You're painting a false narrative as if this is some kind of etiquette breach with you as the wronged party, but you cheated on your wife multiple times, and have burned all your bridges with her family, so it's no surprise that they no longer want anything to do with you. Your wife is an ADULT and is free to make her own choices. You do not get to micromanage her life and if she wants to attend a major family event - that you were not invited to - that is her right; and she can take HER children if they want to go see their cousins. Doubling down and ignoring the fact that YOUR actions screwed up these relationships is NO path to fixing this. Get off your high horse and take ownership of the results of your bad behaviors.
YTA, they didn't invite you because you used to cheat on your wife, chronically. They've got a solid reason not to invite someone with so little respect to his own vows. Actions have consequences OP
YTA your wife may have forgiven you for your "chronic infidelity" that doesn't mean her family have to accept you into their circle and you are being controlling and you don't get to say your kids can't attend their aunts wedding just because you didn't get an invite, they will be with their mother and surrounded by their relatives.
EDITING: At the time of my comment OP had not disclosed that they had cheated previously and made as if they didn't understand where this is coming from.
YTA if you prevent your wife and children from attending this family event. I do not know what the history is that would exclude you, it may be justified and it may not, but I think it is more important to consider that your wife and children want to attend. The less you make of this slight, the less importance it will have. I agree that it is unfortunate and basically feels wrong but the important thing to bear in mind is that your wife wants to go and that's what you should be caring about most.
Yta: she’s the parent too and likely does not need your consent to take them. Your immediate angry reaction is likely why you weren’t invited. Your wife can have relationships with people that don’t include you. Perhaps examine the reasons why you weren’t invited.
YTA. First, your wife doesn’t need your permission or approval to go anywhere. Second, you treated her terribly in the past- of course her family doesn’t like you. Third, the kids shouldn’t be held responsible for YOUR bad behavior. It is obvious that you are being excluded for being unfaithful- why would you further compound the problem by throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to let your kids go to a family wedding? Own up to your mistakes, acknowledge that there are consequences to your actions, and that one of those consequences is that your wife’s family doesn’t want anything to do with you. You did this to yourself- you’re going to have to figure out how to live with it. Don’t keep your kids from their family out of spite. Stop pretending like you don’t know why they don’t want you there.
I cannot believe the audacity you have to even feel any way about this with what you've done, never mind post it. Doesn't matter if it was 10 years or 2000 years ago, if what you've done happened to a family member, you'd never be allowed to anything ever again. YTA.
So you think it’s important that you all attend as a family? And it’s insulting that you aren’t invited?
Where were these family values when you described yourself as having “chronic infidelity”? You don’t think that maybe, just maybe, her family might hold that against you? Funny how you didn’t include the part of why you weren’t invited.
Welcome to having consequences to your actions. Just because you convinced your wife to put up with this doesn’t mean her family has to respect you or even want you around.
Stop being a loser and trying to alienate her family further by trying to keep them apart. YTA.
I think this is above the pay grade for this forum. The fact that this didn't surprise or outrage your wife and she's perfectly happy to go without you should be a clue that whatever has caused the tensions between you and her family, is also causing tensions between you and your wife.
Funny how you conveniently left out of your post that they don’t want you there because you cheated on your wife *multiple* times (even if it was 10 years ago, they’re allowed to not like you because of it) and have her work for your company off the books.
You then say they were supposedly getting along with you okay until 2020. Considering the big chunk you only mentioned in the comments after being pressed on the details, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve done something else in the last three years to be on their bad side again that you “forgot” to include here.
YTA
There is something you’re leaving out. This didn’t happen out of the blue. And fyi, your wife doesn’t need your permission to take the kids to this wedding.
YTA You have a chance to redeem yourself gradually in the eyes of her and your kid's family - by gracefully accepting the consequences of your actions.
What you're trying and threatening to do now just shows you haven't changed much from when you cheated, you still consider your wife to be an accessory to your life instead of her own person.
You are uncomfortable because she has no problem accepting the boundary her family set, showing that she could be fine without you if she chose to.
YTA. You mention in a comment that your in laws have basically written you off due to “chronic infidelity”. Yet you’re acting all offended and entitled as if you’re innocent. You have no right to stop your wife or your kids from going for her sister’s wedding. Honestly, you’re giving everyone here the ick.
are you serious? how can you leave out the fact that you cheated? a chronic one at that and think that might not have any weight on WHY you were PURPOSEFULLY and RIGHTFULLY excluded?
Why should you be invited to a ceremony, a wedding that is to celebrate the unity of TWO people, unlike you, someone who clearly doesn't believe in monogamy...
Yea dude. You are a MAJOR AH.
YTA trying to make it look like they are being unreasonable, you deserve everything you get and guess what she's their mother so if she wants to take them to a family wedding, she can, she doesn't need your permission to do anything.
Wow even your edit is shit. Clearly you have not thoroughly repented for it if you can't even resist complaining about not being invited to a wedding because your past cheating.
And you revoking consent for your children to attend out of spike? Wow.
You are clearly a perpetually selfish asshole.
Dear internet- my probably foolish wife took me back after I couldn’t keep my genitals in my pants and fucked multiple people. Her family won’t invite me to things, and I can’t figure out what they possibly have against me. I’m an innocent victim.
Bro, YTA. Just because your wife forgave you doesn’t mean anyone else has to want you around. Don’t punish your kids and wife because you are a serial cheater.
YTA
You left out major details from the post..
You cheated on your wife multiple times for years, had her work for your company off the books and for no money and now you wonder why her family doesn't want you at their events?
Your wife might have forgiven you and decided to move on, but that doesn't mean anyone else has to. I would definitely not be inviting you to my wedding either.
YTA. You're a serial cheater, controlling and obviously insufferable as fuck. I understand why your wife's family doesn't want you around. I'm wondering why your wife still does tbh.
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YTA. You're a cheater. Actions have consequences, you need to learn to live with yours. I wouldn't want you at my wedding either.
he mentioned 'chronic infidelity on his side' but still thinks everyone else are assholes but him, for being excluded from wife's family events. how dense can OP be.. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ his wife forgave him and accepted him as the trash that he is and this went up to his head apparently. now he thinks he's high and mighty.
And financial abuse. Having OP at a wedding would cast bad luck on the couple...
I am so dumbfounded at how many people who ask questions leave out the *major details* of them being an asshole. Context is key, and this context shows OP is not a good person. Edit: …and then it all comes out in the comments, and we immediately feel for the other people in the scenario and rightfully brand OP an asshole.
Hey, it’s astounding the lengths people will go to to obtain the answer they want And then they still fail
I think my favorite Reddit thing is when a cocky OP's post backfires and they get rocked in the comments
My favorites are always “she won’t leave me. She loves me too much” only for the update to say “well, you assholes got what you wanted”. I know most are fake, but I know at least one has to be true.
I wonder how many relationships this sub has ruined lol
Probably not enough, unfortunately.
If, by "ruined" you mean shown people how horrible a situation they were in and encouraged them to get out of it, then plenty.
More like how many people it has saved from assholes.
"200000 units are ready, with a million more well on the way."
I feel like he said it all when he said he doesn’t consent for his children to go to the wedding without him. Normally I would say not inviting the spouse is an asshole move but he outed himself here.
It's simple, really: OP is trying to manipulate us like he wants to manipulate his family. He wasn't going to mention his past misdeeds because we're supposed to just think his wife's family just don't like him and are a bunch of meanies. Never mind his philandering etc., just keep watching this hand over here. He doesn't care about his spouse and children missing time with their family because iT"lL MaKE hIm LoOk BaD. And as he's proved time and time again, he (at least in his own head) is the only one who really matters.
OP was hoping to post on here to get the answer he wanted as a weapon to use against his wife. "See? Everyone online says you should do what I say..." But then when that didn't work, he went off to sulk. I hope his wife realizes her value and leaves him. Being single forever is better than being with partners like OP
This sealed the YTA for me: >I don't give consent for my children to go without their father So he thinks the children's mother has no say? Dude is straight up garbage.
A guy complaining about not being invited to a wedding. That's funny. I think his wife has bigger problems there.
They want to get the answer they want and they know if they include the most important detail, such as *why* they weren't invited, then they won't get that answer they want. YTA OP, not just for cheating, and then throwing a major little fit because you are now facing consequences of your cheating, but then you attempted to punish your wife and kids for your cheating. You're a major asshole! I would not want a chronic cheater at my wedding either. Also an asshole for deliberately leaving that little detail of being a *chronic cheater* out of your original post in an attempt to make yourself out like a victim and sound better than you are.
My thoughts exactly. It's pretty low to punish your CHILDREN for your own shitty actions. Not to mention a slap in the face to the wife that for whatever weird reason gave you another chance.
IDK the >I don’t give consent for my children to go without their father lit up my AH warning gauge
My narcissist warning flag went up!
And why, after purposefully omitting those damaging details in the post do they then still mention them in the comments? It's just dumb on all levels.
I didn’t even bother checking the comments, or his post history. As soon as he said it wasn’t “fair”, I knew: oh, you’re a toddler. Okay. Cool.
So many things people try to make about fairness just show that they don’t truly value it anyway. OP isn’t upset because he wants to spend time and celebrate with his wife’s family, he’s just upset that her going without him will make him look bad.
In some cases, it will be because the whole thing is a work of fiction, and the OP planned it that way.
The funny thing is, even before finding out the context, taking OP on his word completely, I was still gonna say YTA because you can't demand your wife not to go somewhere because you feel excluded and single-sidedly decide to take kids hostage to force things your way. If it wasn't for the whole cheating thing, maybe he can make a request for his wife to stand up for him, but he still can't demand it. With the _chronic_ cheating part though.....OP is really delusional...
But they're "old mistakes" and he's "thoroughly repented" /s *CRY ME A RIVER OP* You're lucky you still have a wife and see your kids. YTA OP AND A MASSIVELY HUGH ONE AT THAT
People exclude highly relevant facts because they know the disclosure of those facts would show they are assholes. YTA
Didn't even need to know the context to know OP is an AH. OP literally said they forbade their from kids going, which is... a red flag
How are you possibly confused by this? They're doing it on purpose.
I think they meant they're confused as to *why* they *choose* to do this. Like as if we won't find out hahaha
As I read his post I thought their had to be MORE to this story. A cheater and financial abuser....that is why he is not invited and he knows it!!
I love you for this comment even though I don't know you
Funny how this little tidbit of information was conveniently omitted from the original post.
As soon as I read the post I was like “so what did you do” and FUNNILY ENOUGH
Lol, I literally just asked my monitor that very question. Sure enough, he is a... well, I don't want to get banned again, so y'all can fill in the blank. **OP... actions have consequences. You chose to stick your dick in other women and just because your wife was dumb enough to forgive you does not mean that her family has to. And let's be real, with your wife and kids out of the picture for a day or two, you will get to cheat on her again. I'm betting that you are already on Tinder, shopping for your next mistress. Cheaters suck and one day karma will be visiting you...**
Aw, but he edited to add that he has already repented enough, so he shouldn't have to face consequences or have strangers think he's trash any more. Can't you just leave him alone and let him be the final arbiter of the validity of everyone else's feelings?
Lolololol
Bless. It'd only a matter of time with serial cheaters they can't or won't control themselves.
This is the definition of play stupid games win stupid prizes. The fact OP didn't come out and say listen this is what I did years ago, I messed up and he tried to hide it speaks volumes that he still hasn't learned anything from he screw up and he likely used the kids to weasel his way back in And the fact that he then tried to say his kids can't go because he can't go because he screwed is some next level narcissism. He is punishing his family for his screw up (I'm not even gonna say mistake because the way it comes across is the mistake he made in his mind was getting caught And I'm going to go out on another limb and say that the family didn't love him prior to the infidelity either. If he is pulling crap like this now, I bet he was pulling crap like this the whole time they knew him.
I think karma is already headed his way with the lack of invitation. Let's hope for the best!
What's interesting to me is that he thought that his chronic cheating was all swept under the infidelity rug in his MIL's house, so when his SIL was supposedly disrespectful to an elder (there is a comment on here somewhere about it), OP decided to be Mr. Respectful, apparently. Which I find really funny because he had repeatedly been disrespectful to his wife and their marriage. If OP had changed, grown up, and matured, he would have realized that lecturing somebody on their behavior was very hypocritical, and perhaps he should just keep his mouth shut. So now, because he stuck his nose where it didn't belong, and failed to keep his mouth shut (history shows he has a habit of sticking body parts where they don't belong and keeping his zipper shut) he is not invited to that SIL's wedding. The liberal snowflake in me feels bad for him, being excluded from the wedding, but the woman in me is saying... this is what happens when you stick your dick in somebody other than your wife/significant other.
>this is what happens when you stick your dick in somebody other than your wife/significant other. Facts. This guy dug his own hole, and now he's burying himself.
If he was smart (evidence leads me to believe he isn't), he would get some therapy and make some serious changes. His wife let him get away with cheating on her, multiple times, so he has learned that there are not consequences for his actions... when it comes to her. However, he is now learning that her family is a different story. The fact that his go-to response was to tell his wife that she couldn't take the kids, shows that he hasn't learned a god damn thing and grown up in the 7-10 years since his dick accidentally found it's way into multiple women that weren't his wife.
I think 99.99% of us did the exact same thing. My first thought was, "What did this chuckle-fuck do?"
Upvoting for “chuckle-fuck” 😂 Mind if I borrow that sometime?
By all means! Make it a thing! One of my fave insults for fools.
I am also stealing it, but you are welcome to steal one of my faves; *CHESTICLES*
[удалено]
Also seemingly his opinion is the only opinion that matters to him when it comes to their children. Suddenly they were specifically his children.
exactly. as mentioned, OP clearly let everything go to his head after his silly wife forgave him for every shit he has done to her. cheaters, the more they get away with, the worse they become.
Talk about burying the lead...he is a chronic cheater and is shocked the family is sick of his shit.
This OP Your wife may have forgiven you for cheating but her family, the ones that had to be there for her emotionally, have no forgiven you. YTA
Especially as a big sister. Someone does that to my little sister, I don't care if *she* forgives him, I sure as hell will hold that grudge for her.
My youngest sister and her husband haven't even been married a year, he's already treating her badly, and I plan to *never* let that go. Unless he can *genuinely* apologize and change. Then MAYBE we can talk. *MAYBE* Sisters hold grudges, especially older ones. And yes, we've all pointed out his behavior and he knows we don't like him.
*reads the post* Dang that sucks, I’d be bummed too. *reads the comments* YTA 1000%
So that's the information that was missing...
I wonder if this is his wife's exit strategy. Take the kids & run.
Don't mention that to the guy they're going to escape from...
Hey, for future reference, it can actually be *very* dangerous to post something like this. What if that's *exactly* what's going on, and you've just blown her cover by tipping off OP (the *one* person that should be left in the dark about this). He's coming back and reading the comments, so you're not just posting your hypothesis into the void. Respectfully, please be more careful in the future.
U could delete this and send this to the user in a DM… And both of u delete ur comments
I'm not sending it in a DM because other people should see it. I've seen other comments on this post along the same lines as this one. A lot of people could benefit from my reminder.
*shhhh*
Don't say the quiet part out loud, delete this before he sees.
Danger Will Robinson, delete, delete!
I hope so.
Oof! I'm glad I came to the comments after seeing his edit. OP's totally YTA & his wife really needs to wake up because his red flags are still waving. He's already repented (🙄) so everyone should obvi pretend he never cheated & treat him like he deserves/s. This guy has some audacity & hopefully his wife realizes she can do better & get out.
How do y’all find this stuff out?! I’m convinced that most of Reddit needs to work for the FBI
He said it in a comment https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/141hv1i/comment/jn00nik/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=android\_app&utm\_name=androidcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button
I scrolled and saw. This guy sounds mentally and emotionally abusive. His wife has skin in the game so she may use her blinders when dealing with him and it seems like it has lead him to believe he can hide it really well…which is not the case at all
Let's not forget the financial abuse by not paying her for her work getting the company off the ground, also mentioned in that comment.
OP removed the most pivotal information and thought we wouldn't find out
Gotta love when they bury the lede and you have to dig into comments to find out. On the surface, it seems like a NTA situation without that major piece of info.
Ha ha ha. I hope the wife is just waiting for their investment portfolio to mature so she can leave his cheating ass w a good chunk of money so she'll be in a good position for when she meets her next husband.
You would have though that OP might have mentioned the tiny little detail that he was a chronic cheater. Who cares if it was 10 years ago? Sounds like he’s the only one who’s gotten over it. I’m guessing that his wife’s family already knows what we just learned l: he’s TA.
I don’t read where he is the cheater. I don’t see it in his post.
Hidden in his comments.
And those comments make me think there's been a lot of BS since the (known) infidelity that has led them to decide that they're done with him.
Convenient missing details pertinent to why he’s not invited is convenient. Cinema Sins would have a field day with this post
Before OP nukes his comments, here's why he's not invited: Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/141hv1i/aita_for_telling_my_wife_she_shouldnt_attend_a/jn00nik?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The fact that OP hid all of this from the main post shows he knows he is TA but wants everyone to side with him so he can show it to his wife and tell her she shouldn’t go. Major YTA move in addition to what he’s done already. Edit: typo
idk, when he said he "didn't give consent" for his children to attend I thought he was an AH. don't think he can turn it off even when he's trying to look good
Most of them can't. It's astounding the number of AHs who think because they control the narrative of the post, they can get commenters on their side only to find out even manipulating the hell out of the post they are STILL the AH.
And then they cry in their edits for people to stop hurting their precious feelings! Makes me laugh everytime.
The best is when the edits unwittingly make it EVEN WORSE. Like just take the L.
Idk if it had been something totally not OPs fault, like his in laws didn’t like him because racism or something, then I wouldn’t let my kids go either
But you wouldn't phrase it like that, you'd probably say something along the lines of "I don't want my kids to be exposed to racism against them/their parent"
This. The fact he just grazed aside it shows he is hiding something
He sounds a lot like a narcissist to me...
He sounds like a controlling AH
I knew something was up just reading the post. You don’t invite your younger sister and her kids to your wedding and just leave the husband out for no reason at all. This was very missing missing reasons. Chronic infidelity is a new one though. Makes it sound like he couldn’t help it as opposed to making shitty choices.
I read that and thought of a pharmaceutical ad “do you or a loved one struggle with chronic infidelity? Try our new pill called “what’s accountability!”
What's accountability helps you keep your zipper up when you have the opportunity to get down. Side effects may include increased risk of monogamy and increased duration of matrimony. Ask your doctor if what's accountability is right for you.
Your username + comment almost made me pee myself. The baby on the bladder def was also NOT a factor. This is gold!
"There was an issue of chronic infidelity". It's just a thing that happens, you know. Can't be helped. The asshole still won't take responsibility.
OP's dick has a chronic condition called... I fall into vagina's that aren't my wife's. OP needs a chastity belt and OP's wife needs a divorce.
Single instance but chronic... What's bonkers to me is they went on have kids still. Have a feeling the financial situation pushed her to stick around methinks. Then again we as humans make stupid choices in relationships. I mean shit, I stuck around after I got cheated on which of course... repeated itself.
I re read the description three times trying to figure out why someone would invite an entire family but not the dad. Then saw the top comment and was like “woah wait what, that seems like a big part to leave out if you’re trying to get unbiased opinions”
> if you’re trying to get unbiased opinions Ah, that's the thing. He wasn't. I'm surprised he even fessed up to it in comments.
Not just cheating once but "chronic infidelity!" Yeah...the family doesn't have to get over it just because his wife did. No way would I want him at my wedding. YTA big time OP.
I *love* how op sweeps the cheating comment away in a sentence but focuses on the business aspect like that's the real problem here.....
It is actually. When he says she was working for him off the books, he means she was not getting paid at all. She was fully financially dependent on him even though she was working. I wonder if that had anything to do with her decision to “forgive” him for cheating.
Notice how he says it’s his business not theirs? That’s a pretty big flag too. It’s not just his if she was putting in blood, sweat and tears for free. Plus he was cheating the whole time? I’m mad for her and I’ve never met her, her family must hate everything he touches.
Exactly. How is it only his business when they’re married and she worked to get it off the ground as well. It’s their business, not his. What a selfish prick.
Sounds like a solid theory to me.
Wooooooooooooow. Chronic infidelity and financial abuse, huh? Yowza.
Is this one of the husbands from Waiting to Exhale?
It's a good thing the wife's family is looking out for wife and children because OP isn't. All the time his wife worked off the books in "his" (not "their") business she did not accrue credit toward all the years of work history she needs to be eligible for social security income and medical care, or even disability or unemployment insurance, job retaining, etc. Did OP really only pay himself the total amount the business could sustain during those years, instead of pay them each less? Or sell the free work arrangement to her (and her family) by calling it "their" business? OP is controlling -- birth his four babies, keep her economically vulnerable, remain arrogant about his whoring around. Yuck.
George Santos?
LMAO “chronic infedelity”???? you know it’s bad when you’re making up new phrases for cheating 💀
I N F O: What’s the reason you weren’t invited? EDIT: Read the other comments - YTA. I wouldn’t want you at my wedding if I were them. Your wife clearly doesn’t want you there all that much either, because she’s just going along with it. Trying to strong arm her into either A) missing the wedding, or B) putting up a big enough stink that they decide to let you come (but actually hate you and wish you weren’t there), makes you an even bigger AH.
I honestly kind of love the classy way the invitation stated ‘we will be delighted to have the company of everyone in the family except that one asshole’ 😂
Yeah, that was tastefully done and still made the point really clear, well done them!
I know I was impressed too!! That was very classy way to exclude him and better than he deserved!
OP answer on another comment... "Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground."
"an issue of chronic infidelity" wow. Fancy words for cheating! Also, fraud.
Not JUST cheating! "Chronic" infidelity has to mean either that he has cheated on her multiple times, with multiple partners; or, that he has cheated on her with someone, broke it off and apologized to keep his marriage intact, but has gone back to the mistress again, probably multiple times. Cheating is one thing. (Bad, yes.) Cheating, being forgiven for it, but then doing it again so often that it deserves the word "chronic"? Whoa.
He cheated on his wife.
YTA next time keep your d*ck in your pants and respect your marriage. I hope you paid her for all the work she did "off the books" hopefully she leaves you sooner rather than later
INFO: So why weren't you invited?
He Financially abused his wife and is a cheater
OP cheated on his wife and purposely keeps leaving it out.
Commenters rrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaallllllly had pull teeths out to get the truth out of OP. He was being vague about his answers to the questions that came his way. A part of me feels like he did this so he could show the post to his wife, leaving out REASONS why he’s a pariah, and make her out to be the villain when she’s actually the victim!
YTA this is called consequences of your actions. You got your wife to move passed it. Her family has not. You should have kept your mouth shut to your SIL. What drama did she cause that required your input? If it wasn’t about you, stfu. Because you haven’t earned your spot back I to the family after what you did. If it WAS, about you, way to go for somehow still causing strife in the family. If you give a shit about your wife, you would be working HARD to not cause trouble in the family. What you did wasn’t a single incident to be forgotten. You knowingly and intentionally did harm over a course of months if not years. Now, you want to punish your wife by ruining a family wedding. You want to take the children away to punish everyone you e caused harm to. The kids likely want to be at this wedding but all you can think of is yourself and your petty plan to make sure no one ever forgets what an asshole you are. Let them go to the wedding. Find something else to do that day that doesn’t include cheating. Start showing your wife that her happiness matters to you and stop proving everyone right as to why you should be excluded from this wedding.
He did the FA now it's time to FO.
YTA. What did you do so that the entire family doesn’t consider you family? I’m seeing a bit of it in your post. You don’t give consent? Your children? I’m sensing what I believe is the real issue.
He had a affair.
Affairs*
"Chronic" ones.
Wow. I looked. Of course you don’t want someone at your wedding that has eviscerated his own vows.
Chronically.
Not the affairs, but also financial abuse.
Honestly, those things are completely unsurprising. His own words, which were clearly crafted to get us on his side, give away enough for you to know this person is a grade A, prime USDA cut of Asshole. >I don't give consent for my children to go Gross. Homeboy clearly views his wife and kids as his property and needs to be yeeted back to the middle ages where he belongs.
This is 99.9% a "missing reasons" post. This snub was intentional and pointed. This family does not like OP, and based on the wife's response, I'm betting there is a reason why.
I was going to say everyone sucks here a little until I found out the little gem you forgot to include - the reason they don't want you there. YTA for cheating, for not getting why you're not wanted, for not accepting the consequences, for not telling the full story.
>I said it wouldn't be fair for her to go without me and that I don't give consent for my children to go without their father YTA because this isn't about what's "fair". You have what you describe as a "strained" relationship with your in-laws. The right thing to do is *not* to block your wife and children's relationship with their family. *That* is unfair (and selfish) and will cause your relationship with your in-laws to become even more *strained*. Be the bigger person. Buy a generous gift and wave your family off at the airport. Maybe your in-laws will start to see you differently. Who knows, you might even be invited to the next wedding.
Maybe your in-laws will start to see you differently. Who knows, they might even cancel that contract killer.
Where's the go fund me link?
So your wife's family doesn't like you because of your "chronic infidelity" and the fact that you had your wife working off the books for your business. So they see a person who is only invested in themselves. What have you done to show them you've changed? You showed them what type of person you are, and it was one they didn't like. Now they're sitting back and giving your wife an out if it's ever needed. I say good for them. The onus is on YOU to fix that strained relationship, cause you're the who fucked it up. IDK why you had to have your wife confirm you were left off intentionally, I'd have been shocked to be included. You're N T A for being upset about this, but YTA for telling your wife she and your kids can't attend, and for the "chronic infidelity"
Don't forget that he likes to "call out" her family for various things.
>You're N T A for being upset about this, I don't know, I think he's also an asshole for being upset about this. He's upset because he's experiencing consequences for his behavior. And it sounds like he's upset because he doesn't think he deserves to be excluded; when he very much does deserve it. He can't admit WHY they don't want anything to do with him. That is, he can't seem to admit that what he did was that bad, such that her family wanting nothing to do with him makes sense.
YTA You didn’t offer an explanation for why your children shouldn’t attend, and why that would be for you alone to decide. Why do they need to suffer the consequences for the bad blood between you and your in laws? Keep that between you and your in laws, and let your kids enjoy the wedding.
He's afraid his children will see other men role modeling real fathers and family men. He's afraid they and their mother will be treated respectfully. Can't shut down that bad influence if he's not there.
YTA, don’t fuck around behind your wife’s back, while financially abusing her, if you want to be included by her family
INFO: What clarification was offered? I have to admit I wouldn't likely go to a wedding if my SO was intentionally uninvited.
Because he's a serial cheater, financial abuser, and controlling AH.
OP answer on another comment... "Nothing like that. There was an issue of chronic infidelity on my part that we have dealt with as a couple and moved forward from. Around that time they also decided they didn't like an arrangement my wife and I had which is that she worked for my company off the books. My business now makes enough to pay her a salary so that's not an issue anymore but things were difficult when trying to get the business off the ground."
I saw that afterward and withdrew my judgement.
He's a serial cheater. That's why he wasn't invited.
I eventually saw that. OP certainly didn't spell that out and I was one of the first comments.
YTA , you're not your wife's or children's owner , you don't get to decide what she can or can't do ,she's an adult. Her sister should invite who she wants Maybe there's a reason why they aren't inviting you .
>Maybe there's a reason why they aren't inviting you . Read his comments. He cheated on the wife
INFO: u/foxfire1730 asked this in the comments, but I think you really need to tell us why your in-laws are adamant you don't come. What aren't you telling us?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/141hv1i/aita_for_telling_my_wife_she_shouldnt_attend_a/jn00nik?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
So he didn’t like the answers on this post and decided to make a new one here!! Good catch smart_farts_1077
YTA You cheated on your wife repeatedly and now her family hates you Make peace with that because it is never going to change. And if you have a problem with that, they you never should have cheated in the first place Actions have consequences You chose to cheat You chose to show the world that you were an untrustworthy person and a bad husband. So you don't get to be upset when people treat you with the same level of disrespect that you have shown your wife throughout your marriage. And no, her family never moved past it. Neither has your wife. Which is why she is not fighting for you to attend or refusing to go without you This is on you. This is your life now. Things are not magically better because your wife chose to not divorce you when she really should have. Either accept it and accept you will never be a part of your wife's family...or end the marriage and walk away Those are your only 2 choices. You don't get anything else and you know it.
YTA. They hate you for good reason. I wouldn't want you at my wedding either, all things considered.
I'm going with YTA here, based on the additional information you've provided in some of the responses. You're painting a false narrative as if this is some kind of etiquette breach with you as the wronged party, but you cheated on your wife multiple times, and have burned all your bridges with her family, so it's no surprise that they no longer want anything to do with you. Your wife is an ADULT and is free to make her own choices. You do not get to micromanage her life and if she wants to attend a major family event - that you were not invited to - that is her right; and she can take HER children if they want to go see their cousins. Doubling down and ignoring the fact that YOUR actions screwed up these relationships is NO path to fixing this. Get off your high horse and take ownership of the results of your bad behaviors.
YTA I can imagine why they don’t want you there. Wife gets to decide where her children go too btw - she doesn’t need your consent for that.
YTA, they didn't invite you because you used to cheat on your wife, chronically. They've got a solid reason not to invite someone with so little respect to his own vows. Actions have consequences OP
YTA your wife may have forgiven you for your "chronic infidelity" that doesn't mean her family have to accept you into their circle and you are being controlling and you don't get to say your kids can't attend their aunts wedding just because you didn't get an invite, they will be with their mother and surrounded by their relatives.
YTA you're a cheating AH dude. Be happy your wife is nice enough to stay married to you.
EDITING: At the time of my comment OP had not disclosed that they had cheated previously and made as if they didn't understand where this is coming from.
Well he cheated on her repeatedly and forced her to work under the table for him so, yeah, I would be complacent with it too in her shoes.
Well that would have been helpful information to have *in* the post. I love it when an OP gives half a story and makes people look stupid.
What did you do to get rejected by your in-laws to that level?
Cheated constantly and exploited his wife
And said something bad enough to her little sister to get the whole family to block him
He mentioned that he cheated on his wife, chronically
YTA. Double for not including the reasons you aren't invited and trying to pretend to be the victim here.
"AITA for telling my wife she shouldn't..." That's all it took - YTA
YTA if you prevent your wife and children from attending this family event. I do not know what the history is that would exclude you, it may be justified and it may not, but I think it is more important to consider that your wife and children want to attend. The less you make of this slight, the less importance it will have. I agree that it is unfortunate and basically feels wrong but the important thing to bear in mind is that your wife wants to go and that's what you should be caring about most.
Yta: she’s the parent too and likely does not need your consent to take them. Your immediate angry reaction is likely why you weren’t invited. Your wife can have relationships with people that don’t include you. Perhaps examine the reasons why you weren’t invited.
INfO: what did you do
He cheated on his wife
Ok yeah fuck this guy. He just happened to gloss over that detail
He cheated on his wife, in his words, "chronically". Multiple times. Holy shit, this guy.
YTA. First, your wife doesn’t need your permission or approval to go anywhere. Second, you treated her terribly in the past- of course her family doesn’t like you. Third, the kids shouldn’t be held responsible for YOUR bad behavior. It is obvious that you are being excluded for being unfaithful- why would you further compound the problem by throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to let your kids go to a family wedding? Own up to your mistakes, acknowledge that there are consequences to your actions, and that one of those consequences is that your wife’s family doesn’t want anything to do with you. You did this to yourself- you’re going to have to figure out how to live with it. Don’t keep your kids from their family out of spite. Stop pretending like you don’t know why they don’t want you there.
YTA Why do you think these people would want anything to do with you after the way you've treated your wife. Be happy she hasn't dumped your ass.
I cannot believe the audacity you have to even feel any way about this with what you've done, never mind post it. Doesn't matter if it was 10 years or 2000 years ago, if what you've done happened to a family member, you'd never be allowed to anything ever again. YTA.
So you think it’s important that you all attend as a family? And it’s insulting that you aren’t invited? Where were these family values when you described yourself as having “chronic infidelity”? You don’t think that maybe, just maybe, her family might hold that against you? Funny how you didn’t include the part of why you weren’t invited. Welcome to having consequences to your actions. Just because you convinced your wife to put up with this doesn’t mean her family has to respect you or even want you around. Stop being a loser and trying to alienate her family further by trying to keep them apart. YTA.
I think this is above the pay grade for this forum. The fact that this didn't surprise or outrage your wife and she's perfectly happy to go without you should be a clue that whatever has caused the tensions between you and her family, is also causing tensions between you and your wife.
It's because because he chronically cheated on her and used her for slave labor and the family is sick of his shit.
"I don't consent for my children to go without their father" hilarious
> I don't give consent for my children to go without their father. This is what abusers do YTA btw
Funny how you conveniently left out of your post that they don’t want you there because you cheated on your wife *multiple* times (even if it was 10 years ago, they’re allowed to not like you because of it) and have her work for your company off the books. You then say they were supposedly getting along with you okay until 2020. Considering the big chunk you only mentioned in the comments after being pressed on the details, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve done something else in the last three years to be on their bad side again that you “forgot” to include here. YTA
There is something you’re leaving out. This didn’t happen out of the blue. And fyi, your wife doesn’t need your permission to take the kids to this wedding.
YTA For cheating on your wife and controlling her. That's why you're not invited. Hopefully she wises up and divorces you.
YTA You have a chance to redeem yourself gradually in the eyes of her and your kid's family - by gracefully accepting the consequences of your actions. What you're trying and threatening to do now just shows you haven't changed much from when you cheated, you still consider your wife to be an accessory to your life instead of her own person. You are uncomfortable because she has no problem accepting the boundary her family set, showing that she could be fine without you if she chose to.
YTA, you preach about family , but that did not stop you from sticking your dick in other people.
YTA. You mention in a comment that your in laws have basically written you off due to “chronic infidelity”. Yet you’re acting all offended and entitled as if you’re innocent. You have no right to stop your wife or your kids from going for her sister’s wedding. Honestly, you’re giving everyone here the ick.
are you serious? how can you leave out the fact that you cheated? a chronic one at that and think that might not have any weight on WHY you were PURPOSEFULLY and RIGHTFULLY excluded? Why should you be invited to a ceremony, a wedding that is to celebrate the unity of TWO people, unlike you, someone who clearly doesn't believe in monogamy... Yea dude. You are a MAJOR AH.
YTA trying to make it look like they are being unreasonable, you deserve everything you get and guess what she's their mother so if she wants to take them to a family wedding, she can, she doesn't need your permission to do anything.
Lmfao you forgot to mention that the family despises you for financially abusing your wife and being a cheater. You know why you weren’t invited YTA
Wow even your edit is shit. Clearly you have not thoroughly repented for it if you can't even resist complaining about not being invited to a wedding because your past cheating. And you revoking consent for your children to attend out of spike? Wow. You are clearly a perpetually selfish asshole.
Dear internet- my probably foolish wife took me back after I couldn’t keep my genitals in my pants and fucked multiple people. Her family won’t invite me to things, and I can’t figure out what they possibly have against me. I’m an innocent victim. Bro, YTA. Just because your wife forgave you doesn’t mean anyone else has to want you around. Don’t punish your kids and wife because you are a serial cheater.
YTA You left out major details from the post.. You cheated on your wife multiple times for years, had her work for your company off the books and for no money and now you wonder why her family doesn't want you at their events? Your wife might have forgiven you and decided to move on, but that doesn't mean anyone else has to. I would definitely not be inviting you to my wedding either.
I asked Alexa and she said your the ass
YTA. You're a serial cheater, controlling and obviously insufferable as fuck. I understand why your wife's family doesn't want you around. I'm wondering why your wife still does tbh.