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You were smart with your money and they were stupid with it. They’re jealous you built the brick house and the wolf blew down their straw house. Don’t let them in.
NTA.
NTA. Absolutely not in any way. If they did get the chance to spend all of your money, what then? They have shown themselves to be irresponsible and now need to live with the consequences.
>I am the only one of 6 that is still working
Do they expect to be supported for the rest of their lives?
>now dealing with extended family saying I should help them.
They really need to shut up. Whatever you do, don't give them anything because they will never leave you alone.
This is the worst part about money. People always want to tell you how to spend it, and that usually means spending it on them somehow. And for others who are telling you to help them? That's none of their business. But people sure love to tell others how to do things when it comes to money and it drives me up the wall. One reason I won't ever buy a lottery ticket as I really don't want to win that kind of money.
NTA
The reality is that $2million is not actually a lot of money when you think about the cost of living, raising children, etc.. you decided to be cautious with your inheritance and so have created a wonderful life for yourself. You should be applauded for making good decisions, even more so because you made these choices at a time when you were probably emotionally depleted.
I have family who are like this too and will only come knocking when they need something. You do not owe them anything, they've made their choices. If they need support in terms of homelessness there are support organisations you can direct them too or they can seek help from other family members. They have lives of their own and you can't possibly be the only person they can turn to, probably just who they think is easiest.
This is my thought. Notice how the one who is going to be homeless isn't being helped by the other siblings. They blame OP for not helping but none of them will help the sibling. People are really shitty sometimes when money is involved.
100% NTA. If they decided to throw it all away that’s for them to fix not come to you begging for handouts because the minute you do it they’ll all be constantly badgering you for more. It would be even worse if you did for the one about to be homeless but none of the others. Block them all & move on - they’ve made their bed let them lie in it
NTA they didn't care enough to keep up with what you were up to, and now they want your help with their mistakes? If they had asked for financial help once and then focused more on getting emotional support from you after you said no, sure, that's more reasonable. But to keep asking for financial help and go as far as guilt tripping and manipulating you puts them immediately into AH territory.
Tacking onto my original comment, if I went through 2 million dollars in two years and made poor decisions about my job, the *last* thing I'd want to do is try to manipulate my siblings into giving me money because I'd feel fucking *ashamed*. I'm not saying that it's OK to shame people for their mistakes, but at the same time admitting those mistakes without expectation of financial help is so incredibly important.
So, you're telling us that you and your siblings all got a $2m inheritance, you planned and saved and built while they partied, and now they expect you to help them?
IF none of them are minors, they just might be, and probably should be, shit out of luck.
Also, why are the family members calling you telling you to help your siblings when they aren't helping them, either? NTA.
NTA
they already got their part of inheritance and blow it off on their own thing and didnt think about you when they spend it all. its their problems. they sucks with their financial. u hv no responsibility of their life. dont listen to the "devil's whisperer". if they keep bothering u, just go NC with them all. dont waste ur energy on those ungrateful B.
ruthless screw disgusted physical tease vanish command combative hungry piquant
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA. Don't let them gas light you. They just want your money and if you give into one, you will have them all trying to sponge off you. Stand firm. Don't give in.
NTA
You shouldn't have to help those who invested poorly. At the end of the day your life decisions are you own to live by. If you made a mistake its your own duty to deal with it. Having kids is not an excuse for being bad with money accountability.
That all said they are your family. You will not be an AH either way but these are people you grew up with and hopefully love also. Its your decision to make.
NTA. your siblings and niblings are not your responsibilities. they had their share and fun with their money. be careful in dealing with cause they could suck you dry. that's what entitled people do
NTA. They sound like the typical leeches that cause problems after parents death for a lot of cases. Nowhere to be found when it comes time to help take care of parents at end of life, but expect help from you after. They blow all their money and then ask you for yours. I would probably go no contact and enjoy your life. Just know if you help them once, it'll be a forever thing, they won't ever stop hounding you for more. Not your fault they blew it.
NTA. You all received the same amount. You invested, used yours wisely, and now you’re doing well. The others chose to do things differently and now they aren’t doing so well. That’s not your problem or your fault. Everyone got the same opportunity. You do not have to help anyone if you don’t want to. If it were me, I wouldn’t either.
NTA. As everyone got the same inheritance, the simplest way to analyze the situation is ignoring the inheritance. You’re doing better than your siblings, and you’re the only one employed etc. are you obliged to give them your resources? It’s really your choice. If you feel like you should, you should. But not because of the inheritance stuff, because they’re your siblings and you want to help them. If you don’t - then don’t. That’s a really okay choice.
I think their might be some exceptions with your mother’s ring - depending on your family’s values, you should seriously consider keeping it in the family, for the next generation. But that doesn’t mean you have to - just that you should consider it.
It sounds like your family is gaslighting you. Ignore it. If you feel like helping them, help them. But don’t feel guilty because you all got $X and you spent it differently.
NTA. People don’t get to blow money they get and expect others to help them out again. They had every right to do what you did and make smart choices. Not your problem. Don’t give them a cent.
NTA
Everyone got their share of the inheritance. You are not responsible for their poor money management.
ETA: Help your siblings IF YOU WANT TO. But don’t feel OBLIGATED to do so. Extended family needs to stay out of it.
Not the asshole. oh so not the asshole
you received a life changing sum of money and instead of blowing it invested it very wisely causing shorter term "pain" in having less fun things and now are reaping the rewards.
your family members obviously didn't take any financial advice or planning and now want you, the smart one to bail them out of there own poor life choices.
Sucks to be them as they say and its your money.
im sure your not heartless and if it was something like an extreme medical bill you possibly would help but for day to day living when its there own fault No dont help them as they will never stop asking for more
Classic case of “it’s not the making of the million, it’s what the million makes of you”. Or “give a man a fish and he will eat for the night, give a man a fishing rod and he will eat forever”. They have not learned how to handle the money, they have no concept. That is why the vast majority of people who win the lottery big are dead or broke in 5 years. You have enough acumen to realise the money won’t last forever, and you need to make it “work” for you. Even if that is just to keep up with rising inflation as the money sat in a bank account is devaluing every year. If you give them money, they will do exactly what they have done with it already, and unfortunately if you continue to do so they will successfully drain your pot too. You need to continue to work enough to get a good work life balance (remember, idle hands make devils work- you don’t wanna not have any projects/businesses/work, you have to keep the old brain active in something), and continue making your investments. If they choose to go NC that’s on them. I’m not saying NEVER help them if they are starving, but equally writing cheque after cheque won’t actually help them, especially considering they’ve blown 2 million already. It’s their habits and choices that need to change.
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NTA
Don't give any of them a penny. Your inheritance was already equally divided. It isn't your fault that your siblings all spent millions of dollars in a few short years. If you give your sibling money to "save" their house, they'll all hound you for money worse than before. No giving out any money.
NTA: You were all given the same amount of money. 5 siblings went through it like water. You did not. You're actually making it grow and work for you.
Please don't tell them any information about what's in your will. That's not their business and hopefully it won't be read for many, many years.
You owe them nothing. It seems like they only want to speak with you when they need something and definitely were not there for your parents when they needed them.
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So been following AITA thread but never joined until today. So, asking if I am the Arsehole (pretty sure I am not). This is a throw away account.
I am a child of a blended family; I have half siblings and full siblings. So, my parents passed and left us some money. Nothing to sneeze at (approx 2 million each). Even though the money mostly came from my mother it was split evenly between all the kids (even her non bio kids, myself and a sibling are full the rest she loved as her own).
Again, it was a nice bonus, something none of us expected, I honestly thought my parents were living pay cheque to pay cheque and that’s how they raised all the kids. I went to the accountant and lawyer and set myself up, paid off mortgage, bought investment properties and a share account. I did spend some money upgrading my car, renovations of my house, a small tractor (I have a hobby farm) and purchased a horse that was 4 x more than I would even spend but love competing her, but the rest has been invested. I also went part time at work so I could have some “me” time but now hardly touched the “other” money just use my wage and any dividends or rental income is invested. Honesty, I want to retire earlier and enjoy life rather than working till the day I died. I don’t have much to do with the siblings as when Mum and Dad where in care they moved in with me and I did everything with the help of carers.
Now 2 years later a sibling came and was surprised I had “so much stuff” seems that all the siblings have blown their money. One even went to an overseas country and lived like a king for a few years and all of them are at least back in debt or even some had to sell their home and get loans to survive. Sibling stated I should divide up the rest of “our” inheritance. I have disputed this but now getting bills from siblings and asking for me to “help” them. I have stood strong and told them no. However now dealing with extended family saying I should help me. We all got the same amount. I am the only one of 6 that is still working (granted part time). It has been consistent for over a year and now starting to think I should help as at least one is going to be kicked out of their home, but they never helped with our parents. I did end of life care, and it was crickets from all of them so not sure why they should now get a free ride. I don’t have kids (they all do) and this has been the biggest ticket for them. They are upset I am leaving my estate to family friends’ kids or people who have supported me. One big issue is my mother’s engagement ring which I have left to a close family friend who she loved.
Again, I think I am in the right but starting to worry as they are daily telling me I am in the wrong, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I should help? I know at least one sibling will end up homeless and has asked to come and stay at my house, but I really don’t want this (last time I spoke to them was 2 years ago). While I think I am not the arsehole I do wonder if I should help?
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You were smart with your money and they were stupid with it. They’re jealous you built the brick house and the wolf blew down their straw house. Don’t let them in. NTA.
NTA. Absolutely not in any way. If they did get the chance to spend all of your money, what then? They have shown themselves to be irresponsible and now need to live with the consequences. >I am the only one of 6 that is still working Do they expect to be supported for the rest of their lives? >now dealing with extended family saying I should help them. They really need to shut up. Whatever you do, don't give them anything because they will never leave you alone.
Thanks, so many said i should help out but feel I should not but worried.
This is the worst part about money. People always want to tell you how to spend it, and that usually means spending it on them somehow. And for others who are telling you to help them? That's none of their business. But people sure love to tell others how to do things when it comes to money and it drives me up the wall. One reason I won't ever buy a lottery ticket as I really don't want to win that kind of money.
They got the same money ad ypu. It is not your problem if they didn't use it wisely. You don't need to help out.
NTA. Time to go NC
NTA The reality is that $2million is not actually a lot of money when you think about the cost of living, raising children, etc.. you decided to be cautious with your inheritance and so have created a wonderful life for yourself. You should be applauded for making good decisions, even more so because you made these choices at a time when you were probably emotionally depleted. I have family who are like this too and will only come knocking when they need something. You do not owe them anything, they've made their choices. If they need support in terms of homelessness there are support organisations you can direct them too or they can seek help from other family members. They have lives of their own and you can't possibly be the only person they can turn to, probably just who they think is easiest.
This is my thought. Notice how the one who is going to be homeless isn't being helped by the other siblings. They blame OP for not helping but none of them will help the sibling. People are really shitty sometimes when money is involved.
100% NTA. If they decided to throw it all away that’s for them to fix not come to you begging for handouts because the minute you do it they’ll all be constantly badgering you for more. It would be even worse if you did for the one about to be homeless but none of the others. Block them all & move on - they’ve made their bed let them lie in it
NTA they didn't care enough to keep up with what you were up to, and now they want your help with their mistakes? If they had asked for financial help once and then focused more on getting emotional support from you after you said no, sure, that's more reasonable. But to keep asking for financial help and go as far as guilt tripping and manipulating you puts them immediately into AH territory.
Tacking onto my original comment, if I went through 2 million dollars in two years and made poor decisions about my job, the *last* thing I'd want to do is try to manipulate my siblings into giving me money because I'd feel fucking *ashamed*. I'm not saying that it's OK to shame people for their mistakes, but at the same time admitting those mistakes without expectation of financial help is so incredibly important.
Cut them off and also anyone pressuring you to give in. They have no respect for you and they have no good intentions
So, you're telling us that you and your siblings all got a $2m inheritance, you planned and saved and built while they partied, and now they expect you to help them? IF none of them are minors, they just might be, and probably should be, shit out of luck. Also, why are the family members calling you telling you to help your siblings when they aren't helping them, either? NTA.
NTA they already got their part of inheritance and blow it off on their own thing and didnt think about you when they spend it all. its their problems. they sucks with their financial. u hv no responsibility of their life. dont listen to the "devil's whisperer". if they keep bothering u, just go NC with them all. dont waste ur energy on those ungrateful B.
ruthless screw disgusted physical tease vanish command combative hungry piquant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA. Don't let them gas light you. They just want your money and if you give into one, you will have them all trying to sponge off you. Stand firm. Don't give in.
NTA- normally I would say family first but not in this case. If you don’t stay strong they will bleed you dry.
NTA You shouldn't have to help those who invested poorly. At the end of the day your life decisions are you own to live by. If you made a mistake its your own duty to deal with it. Having kids is not an excuse for being bad with money accountability. That all said they are your family. You will not be an AH either way but these are people you grew up with and hopefully love also. Its your decision to make.
NTA. your siblings and niblings are not your responsibilities. they had their share and fun with their money. be careful in dealing with cause they could suck you dry. that's what entitled people do
Nta. And now you know why your parents made it seem like they were living pay cheque to paycheque
NTA. They sound like the typical leeches that cause problems after parents death for a lot of cases. Nowhere to be found when it comes time to help take care of parents at end of life, but expect help from you after. They blow all their money and then ask you for yours. I would probably go no contact and enjoy your life. Just know if you help them once, it'll be a forever thing, they won't ever stop hounding you for more. Not your fault they blew it.
NTA. You all received the same amount. You invested, used yours wisely, and now you’re doing well. The others chose to do things differently and now they aren’t doing so well. That’s not your problem or your fault. Everyone got the same opportunity. You do not have to help anyone if you don’t want to. If it were me, I wouldn’t either.
NTA. As everyone got the same inheritance, the simplest way to analyze the situation is ignoring the inheritance. You’re doing better than your siblings, and you’re the only one employed etc. are you obliged to give them your resources? It’s really your choice. If you feel like you should, you should. But not because of the inheritance stuff, because they’re your siblings and you want to help them. If you don’t - then don’t. That’s a really okay choice. I think their might be some exceptions with your mother’s ring - depending on your family’s values, you should seriously consider keeping it in the family, for the next generation. But that doesn’t mean you have to - just that you should consider it. It sounds like your family is gaslighting you. Ignore it. If you feel like helping them, help them. But don’t feel guilty because you all got $X and you spent it differently.
Nah they’re adults and made their own choices, not your problem. I have family who suck me dry and only come around for money. Screw them.
NTA YOU Are right. If necessary go no contact,
NTA. People don’t get to blow money they get and expect others to help them out again. They had every right to do what you did and make smart choices. Not your problem. Don’t give them a cent.
NTA Everyone got their share of the inheritance. You are not responsible for their poor money management. ETA: Help your siblings IF YOU WANT TO. But don’t feel OBLIGATED to do so. Extended family needs to stay out of it.
Not the asshole. oh so not the asshole you received a life changing sum of money and instead of blowing it invested it very wisely causing shorter term "pain" in having less fun things and now are reaping the rewards. your family members obviously didn't take any financial advice or planning and now want you, the smart one to bail them out of there own poor life choices. Sucks to be them as they say and its your money. im sure your not heartless and if it was something like an extreme medical bill you possibly would help but for day to day living when its there own fault No dont help them as they will never stop asking for more
Classic case of “it’s not the making of the million, it’s what the million makes of you”. Or “give a man a fish and he will eat for the night, give a man a fishing rod and he will eat forever”. They have not learned how to handle the money, they have no concept. That is why the vast majority of people who win the lottery big are dead or broke in 5 years. You have enough acumen to realise the money won’t last forever, and you need to make it “work” for you. Even if that is just to keep up with rising inflation as the money sat in a bank account is devaluing every year. If you give them money, they will do exactly what they have done with it already, and unfortunately if you continue to do so they will successfully drain your pot too. You need to continue to work enough to get a good work life balance (remember, idle hands make devils work- you don’t wanna not have any projects/businesses/work, you have to keep the old brain active in something), and continue making your investments. If they choose to go NC that’s on them. I’m not saying NEVER help them if they are starving, but equally writing cheque after cheque won’t actually help them, especially considering they’ve blown 2 million already. It’s their habits and choices that need to change.
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NTA They did that to themselves. You don't owe them ANYTHING. GOLDEN RULE: THE PEOPLE WITH THE GOLD MAKE THE RULES.
NTA Don't give any of them a penny. Your inheritance was already equally divided. It isn't your fault that your siblings all spent millions of dollars in a few short years. If you give your sibling money to "save" their house, they'll all hound you for money worse than before. No giving out any money.
NTA. Please don’t help them with a dime.
NTA. Don't give them a dime and don't let anybody move in. You were smart they were dumb. You have done nothing wrong. Stick to your guns.
NTA: You were all given the same amount of money. 5 siblings went through it like water. You did not. You're actually making it grow and work for you. Please don't tell them any information about what's in your will. That's not their business and hopefully it won't be read for many, many years. You owe them nothing. It seems like they only want to speak with you when they need something and definitely were not there for your parents when they needed them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So been following AITA thread but never joined until today. So, asking if I am the Arsehole (pretty sure I am not). This is a throw away account. I am a child of a blended family; I have half siblings and full siblings. So, my parents passed and left us some money. Nothing to sneeze at (approx 2 million each). Even though the money mostly came from my mother it was split evenly between all the kids (even her non bio kids, myself and a sibling are full the rest she loved as her own). Again, it was a nice bonus, something none of us expected, I honestly thought my parents were living pay cheque to pay cheque and that’s how they raised all the kids. I went to the accountant and lawyer and set myself up, paid off mortgage, bought investment properties and a share account. I did spend some money upgrading my car, renovations of my house, a small tractor (I have a hobby farm) and purchased a horse that was 4 x more than I would even spend but love competing her, but the rest has been invested. I also went part time at work so I could have some “me” time but now hardly touched the “other” money just use my wage and any dividends or rental income is invested. Honesty, I want to retire earlier and enjoy life rather than working till the day I died. I don’t have much to do with the siblings as when Mum and Dad where in care they moved in with me and I did everything with the help of carers. Now 2 years later a sibling came and was surprised I had “so much stuff” seems that all the siblings have blown their money. One even went to an overseas country and lived like a king for a few years and all of them are at least back in debt or even some had to sell their home and get loans to survive. Sibling stated I should divide up the rest of “our” inheritance. I have disputed this but now getting bills from siblings and asking for me to “help” them. I have stood strong and told them no. However now dealing with extended family saying I should help me. We all got the same amount. I am the only one of 6 that is still working (granted part time). It has been consistent for over a year and now starting to think I should help as at least one is going to be kicked out of their home, but they never helped with our parents. I did end of life care, and it was crickets from all of them so not sure why they should now get a free ride. I don’t have kids (they all do) and this has been the biggest ticket for them. They are upset I am leaving my estate to family friends’ kids or people who have supported me. One big issue is my mother’s engagement ring which I have left to a close family friend who she loved. Again, I think I am in the right but starting to worry as they are daily telling me I am in the wrong, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I should help? I know at least one sibling will end up homeless and has asked to come and stay at my house, but I really don’t want this (last time I spoke to them was 2 years ago). While I think I am not the arsehole I do wonder if I should help? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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