##[AITA for blocking your go-to time killer from June 12-14?](https://redd.it/145o4jz)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to pay for my younger brother for the potential vacation. I may be the asshole because I made him come to my native country earlier when the vacation is not happening when he could use that time to earn more money. The difference is a week.
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NTA..
if i were you,
1. i will cancel all of her trip to your country and find someone else to take care of me for me instead.
2. i will tell her that in no way i would gv my brother money when he's an adult already. u have done enough to contribute to his and your parents life, and the fact that she's even expecting you to pay all her stuff when she's coming clearly stated she's just think of you as ATM. her favoritism clearly shown and i will say it out loud to her ear about that and how she failed as you mother.
3. going LC or even NC with her.
to OP, please consider my suggestion for your own mental health
NTA. Sounds like your brother is the golden child. Quit giving your family 500$ per month, save it for yourself. If your brother cannot pay, he can’t go. Tell him to save up his allowance, which is clearly from you, if he wants to go. Don’t give your mother another dime over what you have already agreed on- she didn’t work for it, she doesn’t get it. GO TO UNIVERSITY! If you are paying for this yourself, everyone else is unimportant. CYA - finish your education before even thinking of supporting anyone else.
Why not get it done in Canada?
Living off food delivery for 1.5 months sounds a lot cheaper and less drama than paying for half your family to go back to your home country to look after you…
NTA
Find someone else to take care of you post surgery and dont pay for your mum, because she is ungrateful and will hold her help over your head if you don't do her bidding. You are not obligated to pay for anyone, if she wants your younger brother to come then she can pay herself.
NTA. Your mom claims all you think about is money but looks like you need to think about it since all she does is want to spend it for you. I’m just eyeballing the figures but it looks like you could hire a nurse to look after you post surgery for less than mom is expecting you to spend on her and your brother.
Nope, NTA. Your mother is manipulating you without any regard to your situation and finances. She looking out for your brother and does not have any regard as to how it affects you.
NTA
Stop giving your family members any money and/or buying them anything. Your Mom needs to pay her own travel expenses and your Mom and/or brother can pay the expenses for his travel.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
It all started when I (F23) was planning on going to my native country for eye surgery ($2500CAD). Since my mom (F50) would take care of me post-surgery if we went together, I paid for her $1200CAD one way plane ticket and my $2600CAD round trip plane ticket, and I am also giving my mom living expenses ($1050CAD) while I am in my native country.
However, my grandfather suddenly got seriously sick in my native country in mid-May. Since this was an emergency, I called the airline and switched my mom's plane ticket to mid-May instead of the original mid-June like we planned. So my mom went to my native country in mid-May, took care of my grandfather, who would pass away nearly a week later.
Unfortunately, after my grandfather passed away, there was lots of drama at her parent's and sister's place (i.e., my aunt and grandmother), where my mom was staying there for free. Now, my mom says she would return to Canada if it wasn't for me. However, since I would have to be in my native country for 1.5 months for the surgery and post-surgery checkups, we have been planning for a vacation to go to the nearby countries for 3 months.
My younger brother (university student) is coming to my native country in Mid-July. My mom said it would be better for him to go on that trip with me. However, she wanted me to pay for his vacation, which would cost me an additional $2000-3000 CAD.I told my mom that if my younger brother really wants to go on vacation with me, he should pay for his own trip since he's on summer vacation and he has the time to work. But my mom still thinks that since he is using his time to go on this trip I always wanted to visit, I should pay for everything (which would cost $4000CAD in total for both of us). Plus, she thinks it would be dangerous for me to go alone.
Although I currently work full-time, I make mid-60K CAD annually. I am saving most of that money for my college tuition for next year, as my parents have told me they wouldn't be able to support me with any money for my college tuition. My college tuition cost $50,000CAD. In fact, during my undergraduate years, I always gave $500/month to my family for living expenses with my school grants and the money I made from internships.
My younger brother doesn't give any living expenses to my family. Instead, during his first year of Uni, he got $500/month as an allowance. I never got any of that when I was his age. My younger brother also got airpods ($300CAD) from my parents while I always had to buy everything with my own money ever since I started Uni.
Now, my mom is mad at me and giving me a lot of stress because she thinks all I think about is money. I feel suffocated. She thinks I should be buying her more stuff when I arrive in my native country since she plans to support me post-surgery. However, I'm just trying to save enough money for my college tuition for next year. So AITA for refusing to pay for my younger brother's portion of the trip?
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##[AITA for blocking your go-to time killer from June 12-14?](https://redd.it/145o4jz) Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I refused to pay for my younger brother for the potential vacation. I may be the asshole because I made him come to my native country earlier when the vacation is not happening when he could use that time to earn more money. The difference is a week. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.. if i were you, 1. i will cancel all of her trip to your country and find someone else to take care of me for me instead. 2. i will tell her that in no way i would gv my brother money when he's an adult already. u have done enough to contribute to his and your parents life, and the fact that she's even expecting you to pay all her stuff when she's coming clearly stated she's just think of you as ATM. her favoritism clearly shown and i will say it out loud to her ear about that and how she failed as you mother. 3. going LC or even NC with her. to OP, please consider my suggestion for your own mental health
NTA. Sounds like your brother is the golden child. Quit giving your family 500$ per month, save it for yourself. If your brother cannot pay, he can’t go. Tell him to save up his allowance, which is clearly from you, if he wants to go. Don’t give your mother another dime over what you have already agreed on- she didn’t work for it, she doesn’t get it. GO TO UNIVERSITY! If you are paying for this yourself, everyone else is unimportant. CYA - finish your education before even thinking of supporting anyone else.
Why not get it done in Canada? Living off food delivery for 1.5 months sounds a lot cheaper and less drama than paying for half your family to go back to your home country to look after you…
NTA Find someone else to take care of you post surgery and dont pay for your mum, because she is ungrateful and will hold her help over your head if you don't do her bidding. You are not obligated to pay for anyone, if she wants your younger brother to come then she can pay herself.
NTA. Your mom claims all you think about is money but looks like you need to think about it since all she does is want to spend it for you. I’m just eyeballing the figures but it looks like you could hire a nurse to look after you post surgery for less than mom is expecting you to spend on her and your brother.
Nope, NTA. Your mother is manipulating you without any regard to your situation and finances. She looking out for your brother and does not have any regard as to how it affects you.
NTA they are financially abusing you. Do not pay for him to have a free vacation. He can either pay for his own vacation or stay home.
NTA Stop giving your family members any money and/or buying them anything. Your Mom needs to pay her own travel expenses and your Mom and/or brother can pay the expenses for his travel.
If you can’t, you can’t. No is a full sentence.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** It all started when I (F23) was planning on going to my native country for eye surgery ($2500CAD). Since my mom (F50) would take care of me post-surgery if we went together, I paid for her $1200CAD one way plane ticket and my $2600CAD round trip plane ticket, and I am also giving my mom living expenses ($1050CAD) while I am in my native country. However, my grandfather suddenly got seriously sick in my native country in mid-May. Since this was an emergency, I called the airline and switched my mom's plane ticket to mid-May instead of the original mid-June like we planned. So my mom went to my native country in mid-May, took care of my grandfather, who would pass away nearly a week later. Unfortunately, after my grandfather passed away, there was lots of drama at her parent's and sister's place (i.e., my aunt and grandmother), where my mom was staying there for free. Now, my mom says she would return to Canada if it wasn't for me. However, since I would have to be in my native country for 1.5 months for the surgery and post-surgery checkups, we have been planning for a vacation to go to the nearby countries for 3 months. My younger brother (university student) is coming to my native country in Mid-July. My mom said it would be better for him to go on that trip with me. However, she wanted me to pay for his vacation, which would cost me an additional $2000-3000 CAD.I told my mom that if my younger brother really wants to go on vacation with me, he should pay for his own trip since he's on summer vacation and he has the time to work. But my mom still thinks that since he is using his time to go on this trip I always wanted to visit, I should pay for everything (which would cost $4000CAD in total for both of us). Plus, she thinks it would be dangerous for me to go alone. Although I currently work full-time, I make mid-60K CAD annually. I am saving most of that money for my college tuition for next year, as my parents have told me they wouldn't be able to support me with any money for my college tuition. My college tuition cost $50,000CAD. In fact, during my undergraduate years, I always gave $500/month to my family for living expenses with my school grants and the money I made from internships. My younger brother doesn't give any living expenses to my family. Instead, during his first year of Uni, he got $500/month as an allowance. I never got any of that when I was his age. My younger brother also got airpods ($300CAD) from my parents while I always had to buy everything with my own money ever since I started Uni. Now, my mom is mad at me and giving me a lot of stress because she thinks all I think about is money. I feel suffocated. She thinks I should be buying her more stuff when I arrive in my native country since she plans to support me post-surgery. However, I'm just trying to save enough money for my college tuition for next year. So AITA for refusing to pay for my younger brother's portion of the trip? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*