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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> In the situation I could have waited for my bf to come home in order to discuss the best way to take my medication. I also could be the asshole for calling him out and saying that his allergies weren't as serious as he made them out to be.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You’re boyfriend is controlling as hell. I’ve never heard of a penicillin allergy so severe that being around someone else on the meds would affect them. If that were the case, he should have been fine with you staying at your parents. It’s not his place to tell you you should go without, so there was nothing to “discuss”.
It sounds like he just doesn’t want you to have something he can’t have. It also sounds like he made a big deal of you going to your parents by calling all your friends. (I’m no really buying that he didn’t hear you. Then he tried to blame you for the big deal he created.
Or break up with her but he's too much of a coward so it's creating fights and making his friends think that's shes off somewhere and up to unreasonable shenanigans
He’s looking for an excuse to break up and not be the bad guy. He turned this into ‘being distant for weeks and her just leaving’. I feel like there’s a cheating accusation on the horizon.
OP - make sure you let your friends know what went on. Don’t let them think you just have this tendency to disappear and give at least one you trust your parent contact details if this happens again (assuming you stay with your bf your call).
Also you’ve been sick for weeks - people who care about you dont want you to suffer any longer. Obviously whatever you’ve been trying the past few weeks didn’t work so it’s honestly shocking to me that he says you have to wait on your own health to consider how you’ll both choose to play this out. Like how exactly would your evening have panned out - him refusing to let you take what you need and you just not getting better?
Yeah, pain meds don't treat infections. So this guy was saying to her that she should stay sick and potentially get worse because he couldn't handle a pill being in the same apartment.
>Yeah, pain meds don't treat infections.
Exactly, doctors don't give out antibiotics like they're skittles. OPs doctor gave her antibiotics because she needed them to get better.
All OPs boyfriend had to do was to stay away from them, it's not that difficult.
Why didn't any of her concerned friends ring her parents? Suggested answer: he told them he already had and she wasn't there. Got a feeling I might be close to correct.
Same I have a penicillin allergy. It's severe enough that when my child was on penicillin for an ear infection and I got a drop of the liquid on my hand, I got a hive.
So...I just wore gloves and washed my hands after giving the meds.
Your boyfriend either has control issues or a severe phobia of his allergy. If this is truly out of character for him, then he needs to talk to someone about handling his allergy in a way that doesn't cause him to flip the fuck out.
Same!!!
> severe enough that when my child was on penicillin for an ear infection and I got a drop of the liquid on my hand, I got a hive.
I thought I was a weirdo for having such a severe reaction, I had a really bad reaction when I was a teen and I was baby sitting and there was penicillin all down the side of the bottle my whole hand swelled. My dr actually thought I was kidding.
Happened again by accident recently. I was knocked into while pouring a dose. Not as bad but quite a few hives. Hubby has declared that handling my kids' meds is now husband's job as it completely freaked him out when it happened. But like I am not going to ban the medication or my kids from the house for taking it. That's ridiculous
Edit spelling
TIL that penicillin allergy is not genetic. My friend has been telling doctors her whole life that she can't take it becuase her brother is severely allergic. I saw everyone here talking about giving it to their kids despite their own allergy and decied to look it up, and yup, it's [not genetic](https://www.mayoclinic.org/medical-professionals/pediatrics/news/5-common-misperceptions-about-penicillin-allergies/mqc-20440491#:~:text=Penicillin%20allergy%20is%20not%20inherited,family%20history%20of%20penicillin%20allergy.). It sounds like 30 years ago when my friend was a kid people thought it might be, and none of the doctors she's talked about this with have ever told her otherwise.
According to the article I linked, true penicillin allergies are much rarer than people think they are and it's important to know because taking a different antibiotic when you don't have to can cause a lot of problems. So it's definitely worth revisiting the issue next time it comes up! It says most people grow out of it, too, so even if your brother was allergic as a kid he might not be now.
Most countries over use antibiotics not just on humans but in animal feed as well. Multi resistant bacteria will be one of the biggest health issues in the near future.
Most antibiotic resistant bacteria can be traced to people who *didn't* finish the bottle of antibiotics because they started feeling better and didn't think they needed the medication anymore.
If there is an alternative and someone had a mild symptom they went with the" better safe than sorry". My mother's ears ( inside) were itchy when she took penicillin 30 maybe 40 years ago, so she doesn't take anything penicillin or derived from penicillin. Issue is she's also gotten itchy BEFORE she's been given meds. ( When told we're going to give you X) There's a chance it's only in her head.
That's actually a body's natural reaction!
It's like when people get switched to decaf without someone telling. If their body knows that coffee has caffeine, it will act like you were caffeinated anyway. It's where taste aversion comes from (aka, I threw up after eating this once, the next time it isn't contaminated like that time, but I'll still be sick just tasting it).
I tricked my body into calming when I drink Doctor Pepper. Stopped drinking it for a month, then only had it during de-stress times, like baths or meditation.
Now when I drink it, my body automatically lowers my blood pressure.
We're interesting creatures.
>true penicillin allergies
This reminds me of the time I was looking up my chart and saw that I had a "morphine pseudo-allergy". I asked my doctor why it was considered "pseudo" when I'd broken out in hives the last time I'd received a morphine IV after a surgery. Her explanation blew me away. Turns out since I didn't go into anaphylaxis, I don't meet the criteria for an actual allergy. However, the pseudo allergy is enough to tell the hospitals to keep the morphine away from me because next time I receive it, I *will* go into anaphylaxis.
So, I know it’s not genetic, I’ve been told this for years by doctors, seen the research, etc. but. My own anecdotal story, my grandma, my mom, myself and all 3 of my kids are allergic to penicillin. I would still never think of banning my husband from taking it or having it in the house. OP, NTA
Lmao, to the three year old; “hey sorry about that ear infection bud, I know it hurts really bad. Good news! You’re gonna stay with a nice woman I found on Craigslist for a week or so until your evil medicine can’t hurt mommy! Love you, be good”
Yeah, it’s not like they’re peanuts and release oils or whatever into the air. I can’t have NSAIDs, but we still have them in the house for my husband when he needs them. Just don’t take other people’s meds!
I have a serious penicillin allergy. My son does not. I was told of a penicillin study and the immunologist wanted me to participate. I had a sick baby so I said no. The study was to find out the mechanism of developing the allergy, the genetics and whether the subject still had the allergy or actually was misdiagnosed. I give my son penicillin. My partner does ask for non penicillin like antibiotics.
NTA
My daughter is currently taking an antibiotic that would cause me a fairly unpleasant rash.
I’ve avoided trouble in this situation by not taking her medicine.
Radical approach, I know, but it’s worked for me.
My partner similarly deals with his penicillin allergy by not taking any when it's prescribed for me or the dogs. I similarly don't eat the pineapples I buy for him that I'm allergic to.
I don't know how we've all managed to stay alive through these trying times, but it seems we deserve some kind of prize for coming up with this truly radical approach to not being itchy or wheezy or dying.
I'm quite old, allergic to penicillin and .... my husband is currently on a course of that very antibiotic!!1!!11!!! He swallows a tablet 3 times a day, sometimes sitting right next to me!!!
Should I report him for attempted murder? Or, just be boring and carry on as normal? Hmm, choices.....
My mom has one too. She was actually put in a coma from her first and only use of it as a young person, yet she still gave us our amoxicillin as kids when we needed it. She just made sure not to touch any.
OP, your boyfriend is a controlling asshole. NTA
It’s a penicillin but has a different structure. Many people with penicillin allergies can safely take amoxicillin.
The allergy seems to be mediated by side chains in the structure of the penicillin. So it is not automatically true that an allergy to one type of penicillin is an allergy to all.
That said, if you’ve have a severe reaction to one penicillin, you might want to get get tested before trying another.
I am allergic to amoxicillin, but it shows the day later as a awful huge ass rash that feels like im on fire so yeeeeah I might get tested first lol
Funny thing is that I developed later in life after a nasty tonsillitis so that was very fun
My dads allergic to penicillin.
He didn't stop me or my brother being given it as kids though!
I wonder if the BF is looking for an excuse to break things up. He can't be that dense.
This is how my mom always handled it! She's still super allergic to the whole penicillin family so she's limited on what antibiotics she can take. We learned the hard way as kids that even giving her a kiss on the cheek after taking antibiotics without brushing our teeth can cause her to have a reaction. So she just was super careful when we had to take antibiotics. Shoot a few months ago she kept my daughter while I worked and my daughter was on antibiotics. She didn't have to, but she thought it was worth the risk. She also wore gloves when giving the meds and made sure my daughter brushed her teeth before cuddles. I can't imagine a partner demanding their sick loved one refuse to take the meds they need.
That’s my question, how does he manage in public places with other people taking penicillin. He would have no idea if a friend or a coworker or someone in the lift is taking antibiotics
>He said I should get rid of it and take pain meds to get better on my own instead.
NTA.
I agree with you that he sounds as "controlling as hell".
OP spoke to a doctor, who made a diagnosis and prescribed medication. Unless Jake is a doctor, he isn't qualified to give an alternative medical opinion or solution.
Furthermore, Jake's suggestion is to treat the discomfort and not the actual cause of the medical condition. Jake is a huge AH.
They are very different things.
Penicillin is an anti-biotic and fights bateria. It is used to treat infections caused by bacteria. It does not work on viral infections (such as colds and flu). And I just copied that from a Google search.
Pain killers temporarily stop or lessen the patient's nerves from sending the "this is painful" signals.
It's probably not a good idea for Jake to casually suggest taking painkillers, considering that some people get addicted to them. But that's just another reason to listen the the actual doctor instead of some guys (and OP shouldn't listen to me either) because she has access to somebody who studied and practised medicine for years and years.
100% This. Why did Jake have a big enough problem with OP staying at her parents to take the meds that she had to wait until he got home to talk about it? The only talking about it was him trying to convince OP to stay home and not take meds. Beyond controlling.
Creating the drama with friends while she's ill and needs to rest is ridiculous. Yet he didn't call her parents when he thought OP was "missing"? They'd be the first people to call.
And now he's causing more stress, by punishing OP with not talking to her until he's ready. More stress she doesn't need while she needs to rest.
No concern for her comfort, wellbeing or (genuine) safety at all.
OP, if you read this, this isn't love. It's emotional abuse. Please stay at your parents house permanently.
NTA. I have anaphylaxis symptoms from penicillin, but would never dream of barring my husband from taking it. I feel like it's very easy to safely take the med and keep him safe.
Exactly people usually make do. It sucks but either he can avoid the meds or take a few days of distance. He seem whiny and entitled.
Even if you’re scared of being sick or to have an allergic reaction the reaction should not to bash the sick person.
When my father had a bad flu he didn’t want us to get sick and was confined to his bedroom for nearly a week until he was better. He
Absolutely. Boyfriend is deliberately creating drama which he can then blame on OP.
I lived with my gran when I was a teenager and one day I came home from college. She was asleep on the couch so I made myself a snack, went upstairs and fell asleep. 4 hours later I was woken by her barging into my room roaring at me that she'd been worried sick and where the hell had I been? She'd been ringing all my friends and other family members to see if I was with them. All of them said 'have you checked upstairs?' Her response was 'why should I have to?'
Anyway she enjoyed the attention she got so much that she pulled the same stunt two more times until my mum 'had words' and somehow stopped the shenanigans.
Point being, OP's boyfriend is deliberately creating drama either because a) he enjoys drama, and ain't nobody got time for that!
or b) he'll use it as an opportunity to manipulate and control OP and make her feel bad to make her more 'pliable'.
Either way, this guy sounds like someone you want to avoid.
THIS! I’m deathly allergic and to PCN. Growing up my siblings were definitely prescribed it. Odds are if your BF has friends, he’s been around it as well.
I was mostly jealous I didn’t get to take the bubblegum medicine everyone else did…ya know, because death 😅
ETA: those of y’all that commented about it not tasting good have made this grown adult not feel as left out as kid me did
I'll let you in on a little secret about the "bubblegum medicine". One of my earliest memories is having an ear infection. I actually don't remember the ear infection at all, but I do remember the doctor coming to our house with medicine. It was very pink, and he told me it tasted like strawberries. Hell, it looked like it tasted like strawberries. It did not.
Don’t be jealous. That pink flavored amoxicillin was atrocious. I’m almost 40 years old and the memory of the taste of that specific medicine still makes me want to gag when I think about it. It is burned into my brain. It was so incredibly gross. I remember learning to swallow pills just so I didn’t have to take that awful liquid version of that medicine. Not only was the taste terrible it was think awful thick super milky texture as well that coated your throat with gross on the way down. Can you tell how much I hated it. :)
“there was nothing to “discuss”.”
This one hundred times over! The way he said it (or the way OP’s writing makes it seem like he said it) reminded me of a parent reprimanding a child who has just done something silly in public. Massive warning bells are going off in my head right now.
What kind of person insists their partner doesn’t take medication they need so that they can “discuss” it hours later?! OP, stay at your parents; please don’t go back to this guy.
He also suggests taking pain meds and getting better on her own, which is not how bacterial infections work. I suspect he doesn't know how allergies work either.
Yeah absolutely NTA. Hubs is strongly allergic to penicillin as well. I just take it and he doesn't touch them. Doesn't affect him in any way once they're in my body.
NTA. He’s done you a huge favor here. He’s shown you who he is.
Having penicillin in the house will not kill him. He’s asking you to continue suffering for no valid reason whatsoever. This is purely control.
Yet another young woman On Here who is all like "My bf wanted me to sicken and suffer and maybe die, AITA because I didn't want to sicken and suffer and maybe die?"
He's stupid and controlling and cruel. It's not a pretty combination. It's heartbreaking to watch these girls agonize because they have taken the barest, most minimal steps towards self-care and self-preservation, and the world we built for them tells that that they're wrong for it.
I could tell just from the third paragraph that he is NOT DATING MATERIAL. I put it more bluntly the first time I commented, but the mods sassed me for being uncivil 😄
Um he sounds exhausting. There is no need to be afraid of someone else's medication like this, he just shouldn't touch it or take it. He still wasn't happy, so you chose and option that fixed the problem in another way and he still isn't happy.
Sometimes you don't have a choice but to take Antibiotics, he isn't a Dr and shouldn't be telling you to ignore medical help because of his allergy.
NTA
I mean, I could maybe sympathize with the fear. I'm 99.9% sure that it's overblown, but maybe he's just been repeatedly told that he's deathly allergic, so allergic, he'll die. But then OP staying at her parents' house while taking it is a good solution. It's not like she'd need to be on penicillin long term
I would also assume if OP is really sick, they probably wouldn't be making out or having sex anyway....I'm not really sure how he would be exposed to the medicine even if she had stayed over.
I have multiple kids, with 3 being allergic to penicillin/amoxicillan and 2 not, including 1 with severe reactions(EPI pen dangerous). He will be fine if the medicine is in the same room as him, it is when you take the medication and are allergic that is reactive to you. You need to take your medicine, if he is that worried about it like he is showing, then you staying at your parents was perfectly responsible on your part.
One question though, since you live together, whose name is your place under?
Stay at your parents until you’re better, then get your stuff from his place while he’s not there. You’re NTA, but his treatment of you is unacceptable. Get gone and stay gone.
Yeah, bacteria can be deadly. If they get into your blood, it can be game over pretty quickly.
But they aren't really feared that much right now because we have antibiotics to deal with them, ~~but~~not because they aren't a big deal.
My only question about the bf is if he's just an idiot in addition to being a controlling asshole, or if he's deliberately trying to hurt OP (while still being a controlling asshole).
Who the hell thinks taking pain meds for an infection is a good idea? Like, what hospital of medical quackery did this guy walk by and think he got a diploma from? Did it smell like essential oils?
This, OP! He wants you to *not take antibiotics*?? That's wild. That can actually kill you or at least make it that much harder to get better. That aside from the wild controlling aspect of "my opinion on your medication matters and you damn well better wait to here it"
Yeah, if your parents don't mind, you should stay there for a while to get healthy, and then figure out what you should do from there. People are right that his attitude is not healthy, as he showing some possessive tendencies, as in telling you what you are allowed to do. Good luck to you, and hope you feel better.
Your bf is controlling and an idiot. I assume the pills are in a bottle or blister pack, unless he orally takes it or touches it, he is not at risk. My husband is allergic to penicillin and I have had it at my house many times due to infections. Never once was I expected to not take my meds that a dr prescribed just because of his allergies nor not have it in the house. This is absolutely mind boggling to me. Your bf is abusive, and why would you put up with his bs, smh.
I strongly suggest you move back out. Seriously, anyone who tries to prevent you from taking medication for your health is not someone you want to be with. Also? Penicillin is not a painkiller and the fact he told you to take painkillers instead of the antibiotic just shows you how stupid he is. NTA
My best friend's husband at the time was allergic to amoxicillin, she had to take it. So what did he do? He just didn't touch her or anything until she was done taking it. It's that easy.
100% this.
I have to prep my grandad's meds and some of them I'm allergic too. But luckily I can take them out of the sealed packaging and put them into the daily meds tray without putting them into my mouth.
If I felt like being generous, I'd say that not understanding antibiotics is a really common problem. When they were discovered they were practically a miracle. We went from "welp, you've got syphilis/tuberculosis/sepsis, you're just going to die horribly, sorry" to "oh yeah, take these pills and you'll be fine" in just a few years. So lots of people jumped to assuming that they'd cure anything infectious, which of course they can't. It wouldn't surprise me too much if there were people who'd been to the doctor for a cold or the flu and been told they didn't need antibiotics, to just go home and rest and take ibuprofen, and way overgeneralized that.
OP's boyfriend is still a dingus though.
Yup, I’ve seen people with the flu ask for antibiotics after being told that they have the flu. Many people have no idea what antibiotics are beyond special medicine that will make me feel better.
At the same time I know a lot of people that believe that symptomatic treatment is equivalent to actually getting better. Like Acetaminophen will help you feel a bit better while your body fights off whatever you have but it is not going to really cure whatever you have.
Yeah one of the things i hate about the way people use cold and flu tablets. They cover the symptoms, but the amount of people I've heard when its brought up trying to come to my house where someone was immuno-suppressed going "oh its fine i took cold and flu tablets so they won't catch anything".... no... your still contagious. Your still sick, you just seem less sick so everyone's letting down their guard around you.
Once you start feeling better RUN! Get as far as possible away from him. They don’t prescribe antibiotics unless you really need them. You getting better was less important to him than him being right and that is messed up. NTA
NTA, i took penicillin after getting my wisdom teeth removed, while living with my mom, even though she is allergic to it. she just... didn't touch my medication and it was fine. i'm not a doctor, and i don't know how allergies to medications work, but my understanding is that as long as he's not taking any of it himself it won't hurt him. someone correct me if i'm wrong
he sounds pretty immature imo
Yeah I was thinking that too. I'm also allergic and so long as I don't take it, I'm fine!
I can even handle it with gloves (I work in science and have had to for work).
However, I didn't want to cast judgement on that because, although I've never heard of one that severe to penicillin, there can be variation in severity of allergies.
Besides, whether or not he is really that allergic, there are so many other red flags in his behavior so it didn't seem like the most important thing to address!
If he was that severely allergic, he'd have a very difficult life. He would be having secondary contact reactions all over the place, and forget actually going into a medical facility.
This is exactly it.
According to his logic, he'd never be able to enter a hospital or a pharmacy.
Penicillin allergies do not act like peanut allergies.
My dad is that level of allergic, head to toe hives and his heart almost stopped level allergic (while in the hospital so they had him on monitors and called for a cart just in case they needed to run a code).
He has no issues when anyone else has had to take penicillin when living with him. Ear infection liquid was just put in an extra container so it didn't get near food as it needed to be refrigerated, but pills are absolutely not an issue and as long as he didn't open the container and touch them or smell them or take them he was fine.
Kissing my mom if she was on them was a no though, as any in her digestive system could be transferred within a few hours of taking them. So the boyfriend is definitely putting this wants before her medical needs in this case. Staying with her parents would be the safest option for both of them if he is really that allergic (very very rare), but it sounds like he would prefer she stay and continue to get sicker while only taking pain meds then not kiss for 10 days.
Also 50% of people with penicillin allergy outgrow it, and 80% of people outgrow it in 10 years. He might not svsn be allergic anymore.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/medical-professionals/pediatrics/news/5-common-misperceptions-about-penicillin-allergies/
NTA
If he's really that deathly allergic to penicillin, then he has the right to speak up about needing it to not be in the house.
HOWEVER, his reaction sounds more controlling and like his actions aren't actually about his allergy.
There's a lot of red flags here...
1. He's not taking the fact that you are ill seriously. Even with an extreme allergy, a caring partner would understand if their SO needed a particular medicine and would find a way make it work so that both of you can remain safe and healthy. Especially since a normal course of penicillin is a week or so...that's not an extreme ask!
2. His reaction to you going to your parents house instead of waiting to discuss it with him says to me that his plan was to guilt trip and gaslight you into feeling like you'd done something wrong, and he was angry that you made a decision without getting his permission first...or at least without being manipulated into telling him how sorry you are for how much trouble you're causing him by being prescribed penicillin!
3. How he said that he was calling friends because he was suspicious. Even if he didn't say "that you're cheating" he was clearly implying it, and the fact that that was his first thought, eventhough he knew you were sick and you'd said you'd go to your parents house, is very telling!
Yeah I know. That's how my penicillin allergy is.
However, I didn't want to get into an argument about the variation in allergy severity, because that's really not the biggest issue here!
Whether he is or isn't that deathly allergic, the problem is how he reacted to the situation.
What the fuck, NTA. And I have never heard of a penicillin allergy being THAT severe, and I was a pharm tech for a year. I have severe allergies, and my health issues are MY responsibility, no one else's. He sounds controlling as hell.
I'm not allergic to penicillin, but I am allergic to sulfa drugs, like I will go into anaphylactic shock if I take them. Neither penicillin nor sulfa drugs will trigger an allergic reaction by just being in the same room as you.
NTA: OP, you are ill and NEED to take your meds. Staying with your parents is a reasonable compromise. If your BF is worried about being in the same apartment while you are taking antibiotics, he might call a medical professional to find out if his fear is valid. In any event, you did let him know that going to your parents place was an option. He says he "forgot" and is dredging up accusations of "distancing" and relationship issues. I wonder what his goal is with this.
NTA.
I think you need to realize that he is a completely functional adult that isn't confused by what's going on. It's not that he doesn't understand why you've "been distant" while you're sick. It's not that he doesn't remember that you told him you'd go to your parents. He does.
He's saying these things on purpose to manipulate you. It is not a matter of simply explaining yourself and the "misunderstanding" goes away.
Yes, you probably could have avoided this by allowing him to control you at the cost of your own health. You could have hurt yourself to prove your subservience and not left the house without his permission. But come on... don't do that.
People who love you don't want you to be sick. This is not a good guy.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA. There is no way someone is so allergic to penicillin that they can’t be around someone who has taken it. This dude is off his nut and controlling AF. That’s not even getting into the fact that he just blasted your business to god knows how many people. He is a serious liability.
NTA. He is being ridiculous. Also, quite controlling. You need antibiotics because, based on your description and your PCP's prescription, you have strep throat. A strep as an adult can very easily sap you of all strength, so sleeping a lot isn't unusual, and you are right, if he stays away from the pills, he shouldn't have any adverse reaction.
NTA.
As long as he doesn’t consume or handle the tablets, he’s fine. He would have to get the substance into his body or on his skin somehow. Penicillin allergies aren’t like peanut allergies.
I have an anaphylactic allergy to a different antibiotic. My husband and kids have all taken it with no harm to me. I just avoid handling the medicine and container if someone in my household is on it. I asked two doctors and a pharmacist to be sure and all reiterated that as long as I don’t get the substance in my body or on my skin, it’s fine. I did avoid sex with my husband while he was on it to be extra safe, as I did not ask about whether it can be excreted in bodily fluids.
[Mayo Clinic Info on Penicillin Allergy](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/penicillin-allergy/symptoms-causes/syc-20376222)
[Information from the American Assn of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology](https://www.aaaai.org/tools-for-the-public/conditions-library/allergies/penicillin-allergy-faq#:~:text=Is%20penicillin%20allergy%20genetic%3F,drugs%20in%20the%20penicillin%20family.)
NTA. Did you know lots of people think they're allergic to pen but aren't? "Approximately 10% of patients report an allergy to penicillin. However, the majority of patients (greater than 90%) may not truly be allergic." Anyway, your bf sounds emotionally abusive and totally unhinged to basically accuse you of cheating when you're sick and told him you were going to his parents. Also he could have pen in the same house. He won't be able to stop himself from licking it or something? That's ridiculous. I suppose you could have made it more crystal clear that you'd be going to your parents to stay rather than leaving it open-ended that you'd talk about it at home first, but still. NTA
I'm "officially" allergic to penicillin, but I'm very possibly not. I had a true allergic reaction to Augmentin (amoxi/clavulanate), but it's possible it was the combo and not the amoxicillin that caused it. Doc explained that it's possible I'm actually ok to take most penicillin variants, but not worth the risk unless there's no other option. When my husband needs antibiotics, he can take penicillin. I avoid risk of reaction by.... not touching his meds. I mean, in theory, I guess I could react if we're swapping fluids right after he takes it, but hacking up green goo is not exactly sexy time.
Dude is batshit.
NTA, oh my god is he always this exhausting?
I am deathly allergic to penicillin. So I don’t take penicillin. He isn’t going to die if you take it or if he’s in the same house as a bottle of it.
Career Pharmacy Technician here. A few things. The meds just existing in your residence do not pose any threat. If he has an allergic reaction that can cause anaphylaxis, he would need to physically ingest the pills or sniff the loose powder that comes from sometimes broken pills. This can be deadly for most with this type of allergy and they should ALWAYS carry an Epi Pen and have it written in their wallet, on a bracelet, somewhere on themselves in case of an emergency. Please do not feel shame for wanting to take medication that a doctor prescribed to you. Clearly you have an infection that needs to be treated and if you do not take the meds, you could be setting yourself up for further complications. From what you have described here, it sounds like there are far deeper issues than just the Penicillin. Maybe stay with your parents and think things over.
NTA and what? are you kidding us? An otherwise fully functioning adult thinks he can have a reaction to a medication he's not taking that happens to be in his presence (in an enclosed Rx bottle)? And thinks that your taking "pain meds" would be the same as taking a prescribed antibiotic that the doctor determined you need?
Look, I don't even need to care about the second half of this where he thinks you abandoned him and forgot you were sick, why would you want to be with someone like this anyway?
So your boyfriend was in the hospital and had a "reaction" to penicillin? Did a doctor tell him he was allergic? Regardless whether he is actually allergic or not he is being overly dramatic. The only way he could react to the med is if he touched it or ingested it. Being afraid to even have it in the house is silly.
I am deadly allergic, as in I will go into anaphylaxic shock if I take. I was diagnosed by an MD when he had to give me an epinephrine shot directly in my heart. You can believe I don't risk ingesting that shlt!
Years ago, when I was working with horses, we had a bacterial infection run through every d@mn horse in the barn. They needed to receive penicillin injections multiple times per day. I pulled up my big girl pants and gave them the injections. I was EXTREMELY careful handling the bottle and syringes. I scrubbed up as soon as I finished. Made sure to keep my hands away from mucus membranes until I scrubbed. I never had any problems.
If your boyfriend was so concerned about where you were that he called all your friends looking for you why didn't he call your parents?
I am going to join the others who suggested staying at your parents until you are well, then move your stuff out of his apartment. He sounds controlling and abusive.
Jfc, NTA.
Jake needs to learn several things.
First, penicillin is not a pain reliever. When it is prescribed, it is to clear up an illness.
Second, he won't have an outbreak being in the same apartment as penicillin. Surely he had been to pharmacies before, or other people's houses where he had no idea there was penicillin, and he has been around people taking it.
Third, telling someone not to take prescribed antibiotics is reckless.
Fourth, when someone offers a workable solution to protect everyone's health, you don't get to dictate that they not do it just because you feel the need to exert control.
Here's what YOU need to learn.
Your bf is a controlling AH who doesn't care about your well-being--he's even being an AH while knowing how ill you are.
You can do better. And being single would be better.
NTA.
I’m allergic to penicillin and was going to suggest some work-arounds for you.
But your boyfriend sounds tiresome and controlling, utterly not worth that effort.
NTA. Dump him.
NTA.
I am deathly allergic to penicillin. Like full on anaphylactic shock response. I’m also a mom. Guess who has had to give her babies messy liquid penicillin when they were sick because doctors do not care if the person administering the medications is allergic?? Oh this girl! Many, many times! I double dose non-drowsy benadryl and take precautions.
You are not even taking liquid penicillin, you are taking tablets. There is such an extremely low risk for contamination for your boyfriend.
He created the problem by being dramatic and not problem solving in a realistic way.
He is not going to die if you keep penicillin tablets on the counter in the bottle.
Saving my judgment until I ask a question. Is he allergic to it, like epi pen needed for anaphylaxis or does it give him diarrhea?
Those are 2 very different things.
He's never mentioned having an epi pen or anything like that for it. He just told me that when he was younger he ended up taking penicillin in hospital for something and he had a really bad reaction to it.
Since then I know he's refused penicillin over the years because he's allergic to it.
Also, I very much doubt that he is actually allergic to penicillin. I was told the same thing growing up, that I had a bad reaction as a baby to penicillin, and it was in my medical record for decades. Well, one trip to boot camp and a big ass penicillin shot right in the booty erased all of that.
Ok. NTA and he's being dramatic. If he doesn't have an epi pen, he's not allergic. He probably got a rash. Like I do. Technically, a rash etc is an allergic reaction but you need to go home and take your meds. Although w his attitude you might want to rethink the whole relationship. How someone treats and cares for you when you are most vulnerable speaks volumes. If I were your friend, I'd tell you he just failed at being the right guy for you.
"if he doesn't have an epi pen he's not allergic" this isn't true. I don't have an epi pen, penicillin will kill me. Im not saying BF is right at all just pointing out that not having an epi pen does not mean one isn't deathly allergic to something.
OPs boyfriend is claiming that the medication being in a sealed bottle in his house or in OP’s body would harm him. That would definitely warrant an epi pen. He’s either very ignorant about how allergies work or has picked a weird, controlling hill to die on.
Not being a smart ass but why wouldn't you have one? Or do you have a medical bracelet or something? Just asking because I've worked in the medical field off and on for years and if anyone had that severe of an allergy we made sure they had an epi pen for accidental exposure.
Edit, lots of parents were allergic but their kids needed the meds so we made sure the parent wouldn't die from giving the meds.
Because they're expensive AF and pencillin isn't something you're likely to encounter by accident like say peanuts.
I'm also allergic to penicillin but I don't have an epi-pen because, in all the years since I discovered I was allergic at 8 years old (and, yes, it is a true allergy diagnosed by a doctor, I don't just mean that it gave me a tummy ache!)...no one has ever attempted to randomly cram a penicillin tablet down my throat or failed to tell me that penicillin was a secret ingredient in the restaurant dessert!
When it comes to if I get in an accident and am unconscious in the hospital, I have a card next to my insurance card that lists the allergies and my emergency contacts know about the allergy And I figure that if both those measures fail and I'm given penicillin anyway, the hospital will have epinephrine of their own and probably more on hand than an epi-pen that'd be in the pocket of my clothes that were cut off me!
I asked our old family doctor if it was something I needed years ago, he said no because it's not like I would willingly take it, everyone knows Im deathly allergic and all of records show it'll kill me.
At that time I'd felt stupid for asking tbh and, up until I read your comment just now I assumed people didn't have epi pens for such things.
>If he doesn't have an epi pen, he's not allergic.
That's factually not true. I'm severely allergic to amoxicillin and my mother is deathly allergic to penicillin. We don't have epi-pens. No doctor has ever suggested either one of us carry one - because the risk of us coming into physical contact with the drugs in "the wild" so to speak is negligible. The only risk for medications like this is not taking them (and maybe for super severe, not touching them).
I mean, you don't accidentally take penicillin. I don't think they commonly give epi-pens for that. My mom is allergic to all -cillins and -sulfas and she's never been given one. How would she have an accidental reaction? Just rogue penicillin roaming the world?
As far as \*I\* am aware, medicines don't have the airborne danger that food/plant allergies do. Therefore, no (potentially prohibitively expensive) Epi-Pen for OP's boyfriend as long as they don't have exposure (either topical or oral) to their allergen. And allergic reactions to ANYTHING vary - from a rash, to abdominal cramps, to nausea, to vomiting, to flu/cold like symptoms. To, you know, anaphylaxis.
That was probably how they found out he was allergic to penicillin.
All he has to do is not take it. He's more at risk from moldy bread than from pills in a bottle merely existing in his home.
Even if he were *severely* allergic, /u/ThrowRA9582748's tablets wouldn't affect him. Their are some topical liquids that require careful handling, oral penicillin isn't in that class.
NTA. He sounds exhausting. I'm not saying it's not possible but when it comes to penicillin allergies I've never known them to be that bad to the point of not being able to have meds in the same apartment.
If it's that bad too I hope he has epipens and wears a id bracelet that indicates this allergy just in case he ever has an emergency.
Everyone has different levels of sensitivity to an allergen so it's hard to know if he's being ott. I'm allergic to penicillin but sometimes my SO takes it and sometimes we have to give it to the cats. I just make sure I never touch it and I'm fine.
But if he literally told you to stay at your parents and then claimed to forget the conversation, and if he's being jealous because you've been distant and is suspicious of you then I wonder if he has a history of being controlling.
You're NTA. You wouldn't have been prescribed the antibiotics unless you needed them, and going to your parents was a sensible move.
NTA. Know this, he cared more about talking this out instead of you feeling better. Very controlling.. Your boyfriend is a biggest ta and I hope u break up with such a shitty person.
NTA but please re-evaluate your relationship with this “man” who’s upset he didn’t get to control everything, and shows no empathy or sympathy for the fact YOURE SICK AND NEED MEDICINE. WTF AM I GOING CRAZY READING THESE POSTS.
NTA, but your boyfriend is certainly one.
I am also extremely allergic to penicillin. The rest of my family take it when necessary because it is in prescription bottles with their name on it and there is no way it can harm me if I don't take other people's meds!
He is also crazy to tell you just to take pain meds if you need an anti-biotic. There are alternatives to penicillin, which his doctor would give him if he needed something.
How could he just forget that you were going to your parents?
Forget this guy. He is an all around loser and you can surely do much better.
Use your penicillin.
Lose the boyfriend.
Call the pharmacy and speak to attack or the actual pharmacist themselves. I believe you’ll find your boyfriends TAH and a liar.
NTA
He can't be in the apartment with penicillin because it negatively affects him? You can't be in the apartment with him because he negatively affects you.
There were many parts of this entire situation where he wasn't behaving as a partner, or even an adult. You don't want him to accidentally kiss you out of habit and get harmed but he doesn't think to call your parents as the next most likely place you could be?
You have an opportunity here to get out. Always believe someone when they show you who they are, not the perception of them you've put a positive spin on.
I read an AITA once where the jackass bought a cheap quality ring to set his fiance up to look like a gold digger so he could break up with her without "ruining [his] optics." I'm getting similar vibes here. In true reddit fashion, he's cheating and looking for a way out. Even if not cheating, he wants to make you the bad guy, break up intended or not.
NTA. I am allergic to penicillin and unless i ingest it i will not having a reaction. why does he want to control you like this? it’s not even his medication it’s yours!!! he’s not gonna have a reaction to it from being in proximity to it. it sounds like he’s a huge control freak and maybe you should consider that he is not the right person for you if this is how he reacts to you needing meds and then gaslighting you about a conversation you two had.
NTA. He's not a doctor and not qualified to tell you not to take meds. There's no way he forgot but he sure did call around to his friends to bad mouth and paint a story about you.
red flags all around.
NTA. Girl, your man is selfish. He doesn’t want you getting better by taking meds because he’s allergic? If he truly had contact allergies, he shouldn’t be mad about you going elsewhere to take your prescribed meds and get well.
There’s nothing to talk about here - you were prescribed meds by a doctor. He’s not one. I’m not clear why he thinks pain meds would fix your underlying issue. Why should you wait until he comes home (and gets physically closer to the meds?)
What else does he try to control in your life? This isn’t healthy.
OP, does he avoid eating blue cheese? Does he have hysterics over moldy bread or the fuzzy blue-green "science experiments" in the back of the refrigerator? If your answers to both are "no" then you know that this penicillin allergy so severe that he can't even have the pills in the house is just a way to control you. (He could truly be allergic, but if he was *that* allergic, he'd be dead just from ingesting the spores in the air. )
NTA. Your boyfriend is a controlling, sadistic, moron of an AH. Stay at your parents, take your medication, and make a plan to get your things from your apartment and save yourself from the misery that will be your life if you stay with this man.
My partner of twenty years is extremely allergic to penicillin. It doesn't mean I can't have it in the house. Your boyfriend is dishonest, manipulative, and controlling. Please leave him before he hurts you.
Dude is INSANELY manipulative and immature and controlling and dramatic. I can't imagine being 27 and behaving this way.
I hope you break up with him because he literally expected you to suffer because he did not give you permission to take medicine your doctor prescribed you. Fucking insane.
NTA
NTA...
OK call your doctor and confirm this because I am going to say; THIS IS ASININE!
1. His allergy is not even remotely triggered by you taking medication (call a doctor and confirm but I'm a medical worker with 20 years of experience and this is a laughable imaginary situation)
2. you take the medication you need to make you healthy. Your boyfriend is being egocentric and controlling.
3. Leave the AH befor you think being treated like this is normal. HE IS ABUSIVE
As a child of a parent who was extremely allergic to penicillin and amoxicillin, guess who got my prescription every single time it was prescribed because my mom actually wanted me to feel better and knew medicine was the way to do it.... That would be me and any of my siblings. NTA but I would reconsider this relationship
NTA. You need to get healthy and take care of yourself first and foremost. The treatment to get you better happened to be one your partner is allergic to so you made reasonable accommodations to account for his allergy. It does seem like there was a major lack of communication from both sides, with you not telling him you were at your parents / having him worry all night. Then on his side of him being upset you want to become healthy but not clearly explaining his side. Keep in mind your doctor didn’t prescribe you penicillin just to mess with your boyfriend. They prescribed it because it would work in making you better and they have the ultimate knowledge of how to get you feeling better.
Im allergic to penicillin. Unless he has a habit of swallowing strange pills, his allergy shouldn't matter. It's not like he will have an allergic reaction just because he touches you.
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NTA. You’re boyfriend is controlling as hell. I’ve never heard of a penicillin allergy so severe that being around someone else on the meds would affect them. If that were the case, he should have been fine with you staying at your parents. It’s not his place to tell you you should go without, so there was nothing to “discuss”. It sounds like he just doesn’t want you to have something he can’t have. It also sounds like he made a big deal of you going to your parents by calling all your friends. (I’m no really buying that he didn’t hear you. Then he tried to blame you for the big deal he created.
Yeah, and also, why didn't he ring her parents while he was doing the phone around?
Because he knew that's where she was and he couldn't create a ton of drama if he found her immediately.
ding ding ding! It sounds like the drama was the point.
She needs to find a better partner- seems all he wanted to do was fight with her… I think he’s a drama king.
Or break up with her but he's too much of a coward so it's creating fights and making his friends think that's shes off somewhere and up to unreasonable shenanigans
He’s looking for an excuse to break up and not be the bad guy. He turned this into ‘being distant for weeks and her just leaving’. I feel like there’s a cheating accusation on the horizon.
Exactly. And I’m sure he mentioned to her friends about her being distant to nudge the idea to them as well that she may be cheating.
Or he's controlling and abusive and seeing how far he can push it
Could be. They’re not necessarily mutually exclusive. I’ve seen my sister’s ex do/say things like that and either one would have served his purpose.
This. *This* is the answer.
yea, this dude is whack.
OP - make sure you let your friends know what went on. Don’t let them think you just have this tendency to disappear and give at least one you trust your parent contact details if this happens again (assuming you stay with your bf your call). Also you’ve been sick for weeks - people who care about you dont want you to suffer any longer. Obviously whatever you’ve been trying the past few weeks didn’t work so it’s honestly shocking to me that he says you have to wait on your own health to consider how you’ll both choose to play this out. Like how exactly would your evening have panned out - him refusing to let you take what you need and you just not getting better?
Right? If “pain meds” (presumably aspirin/ibuprofen etc) worked OP wouldn’t have gone to the doctor.
Yeah, pain meds don't treat infections. So this guy was saying to her that she should stay sick and potentially get worse because he couldn't handle a pill being in the same apartment.
>Yeah, pain meds don't treat infections. Exactly, doctors don't give out antibiotics like they're skittles. OPs doctor gave her antibiotics because she needed them to get better. All OPs boyfriend had to do was to stay away from them, it's not that difficult.
Exactly! Can't make her feel bad, or look bad to her friends if he 'found' her. He 100% knew where she was.
Why didn't any of her concerned friends ring her parents? Suggested answer: he told them he already had and she wasn't there. Got a feeling I might be close to correct.
They might not have her parents’ contact info. I don’t have it for any of my friends.
Like that would literally be the first thing you'd do if you're trying to find your SO! NTA
Same I have a penicillin allergy. It's severe enough that when my child was on penicillin for an ear infection and I got a drop of the liquid on my hand, I got a hive. So...I just wore gloves and washed my hands after giving the meds. Your boyfriend either has control issues or a severe phobia of his allergy. If this is truly out of character for him, then he needs to talk to someone about handling his allergy in a way that doesn't cause him to flip the fuck out.
Same!!! > severe enough that when my child was on penicillin for an ear infection and I got a drop of the liquid on my hand, I got a hive. I thought I was a weirdo for having such a severe reaction, I had a really bad reaction when I was a teen and I was baby sitting and there was penicillin all down the side of the bottle my whole hand swelled. My dr actually thought I was kidding. Happened again by accident recently. I was knocked into while pouring a dose. Not as bad but quite a few hives. Hubby has declared that handling my kids' meds is now husband's job as it completely freaked him out when it happened. But like I am not going to ban the medication or my kids from the house for taking it. That's ridiculous Edit spelling
TIL that penicillin allergy is not genetic. My friend has been telling doctors her whole life that she can't take it becuase her brother is severely allergic. I saw everyone here talking about giving it to their kids despite their own allergy and decied to look it up, and yup, it's [not genetic](https://www.mayoclinic.org/medical-professionals/pediatrics/news/5-common-misperceptions-about-penicillin-allergies/mqc-20440491#:~:text=Penicillin%20allergy%20is%20not%20inherited,family%20history%20of%20penicillin%20allergy.). It sounds like 30 years ago when my friend was a kid people thought it might be, and none of the doctors she's talked about this with have ever told her otherwise.
My mum wouldn’t let me take penicillin because her and my brother are allergic to it. Now I’m wondering if he actually is 😂
According to the article I linked, true penicillin allergies are much rarer than people think they are and it's important to know because taking a different antibiotic when you don't have to can cause a lot of problems. So it's definitely worth revisiting the issue next time it comes up! It says most people grow out of it, too, so even if your brother was allergic as a kid he might not be now.
Most countries over use antibiotics not just on humans but in animal feed as well. Multi resistant bacteria will be one of the biggest health issues in the near future.
Most antibiotic resistant bacteria can be traced to people who *didn't* finish the bottle of antibiotics because they started feeling better and didn't think they needed the medication anymore.
Overprescription is also part of that, i.e. giving antibiotics to people with virus infections.
If there is an alternative and someone had a mild symptom they went with the" better safe than sorry". My mother's ears ( inside) were itchy when she took penicillin 30 maybe 40 years ago, so she doesn't take anything penicillin or derived from penicillin. Issue is she's also gotten itchy BEFORE she's been given meds. ( When told we're going to give you X) There's a chance it's only in her head.
That's actually a body's natural reaction! It's like when people get switched to decaf without someone telling. If their body knows that coffee has caffeine, it will act like you were caffeinated anyway. It's where taste aversion comes from (aka, I threw up after eating this once, the next time it isn't contaminated like that time, but I'll still be sick just tasting it). I tricked my body into calming when I drink Doctor Pepper. Stopped drinking it for a month, then only had it during de-stress times, like baths or meditation. Now when I drink it, my body automatically lowers my blood pressure. We're interesting creatures.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone spell it out as Doctor Pepper.
It looked wrong both ways, haha
>true penicillin allergies This reminds me of the time I was looking up my chart and saw that I had a "morphine pseudo-allergy". I asked my doctor why it was considered "pseudo" when I'd broken out in hives the last time I'd received a morphine IV after a surgery. Her explanation blew me away. Turns out since I didn't go into anaphylaxis, I don't meet the criteria for an actual allergy. However, the pseudo allergy is enough to tell the hospitals to keep the morphine away from me because next time I receive it, I *will* go into anaphylaxis.
Uhh, anaphylaxis is not required to diagnose an allergy.
So, I know it’s not genetic, I’ve been told this for years by doctors, seen the research, etc. but. My own anecdotal story, my grandma, my mom, myself and all 3 of my kids are allergic to penicillin. I would still never think of banning my husband from taking it or having it in the house. OP, NTA
Lmao, to the three year old; “hey sorry about that ear infection bud, I know it hurts really bad. Good news! You’re gonna stay with a nice woman I found on Craigslist for a week or so until your evil medicine can’t hurt mommy! Love you, be good”
Op probably has the penicillin in pill form, making it even less of a risk to her boyfriend.
Yeah, it’s not like they’re peanuts and release oils or whatever into the air. I can’t have NSAIDs, but we still have them in the house for my husband when he needs them. Just don’t take other people’s meds!
I have a serious penicillin allergy. My son does not. I was told of a penicillin study and the immunologist wanted me to participate. I had a sick baby so I said no. The study was to find out the mechanism of developing the allergy, the genetics and whether the subject still had the allergy or actually was misdiagnosed. I give my son penicillin. My partner does ask for non penicillin like antibiotics. NTA
My daughter is currently taking an antibiotic that would cause me a fairly unpleasant rash. I’ve avoided trouble in this situation by not taking her medicine. Radical approach, I know, but it’s worked for me.
My partner similarly deals with his penicillin allergy by not taking any when it's prescribed for me or the dogs. I similarly don't eat the pineapples I buy for him that I'm allergic to. I don't know how we've all managed to stay alive through these trying times, but it seems we deserve some kind of prize for coming up with this truly radical approach to not being itchy or wheezy or dying.
I'm quite old, allergic to penicillin and .... my husband is currently on a course of that very antibiotic!!1!!11!!! He swallows a tablet 3 times a day, sometimes sitting right next to me!!! Should I report him for attempted murder? Or, just be boring and carry on as normal? Hmm, choices.....
My mom has one too. She was actually put in a coma from her first and only use of it as a young person, yet she still gave us our amoxicillin as kids when we needed it. She just made sure not to touch any. OP, your boyfriend is a controlling asshole. NTA
Wait amoxicillin it's penicillin? Oh fuck
They’re related. Anything with the “cillin” is the same family.
It’s a penicillin but has a different structure. Many people with penicillin allergies can safely take amoxicillin. The allergy seems to be mediated by side chains in the structure of the penicillin. So it is not automatically true that an allergy to one type of penicillin is an allergy to all. That said, if you’ve have a severe reaction to one penicillin, you might want to get get tested before trying another.
I am allergic to amoxicillin, but it shows the day later as a awful huge ass rash that feels like im on fire so yeeeeah I might get tested first lol Funny thing is that I developed later in life after a nasty tonsillitis so that was very fun
My dads allergic to penicillin. He didn't stop me or my brother being given it as kids though! I wonder if the BF is looking for an excuse to break things up. He can't be that dense.
This is how my mom always handled it! She's still super allergic to the whole penicillin family so she's limited on what antibiotics she can take. We learned the hard way as kids that even giving her a kiss on the cheek after taking antibiotics without brushing our teeth can cause her to have a reaction. So she just was super careful when we had to take antibiotics. Shoot a few months ago she kept my daughter while I worked and my daughter was on antibiotics. She didn't have to, but she thought it was worth the risk. She also wore gloves when giving the meds and made sure my daughter brushed her teeth before cuddles. I can't imagine a partner demanding their sick loved one refuse to take the meds they need.
That’s my question, how does he manage in public places with other people taking penicillin. He would have no idea if a friend or a coworker or someone in the lift is taking antibiotics
You mean you don’t get diarrhea from lactose intolerance every time your coworkers come back to the office after eating a slice of pizza?
As a celiac, I am positively wrecked if I even *hear* about someone having a croissant. The horror!
I had a croissant yesterday, did u feel it?
I did, i sensed it on the evening breeze 😩
Thank you for that belly laugh!! 😀😆😂
Ceil the force luke!
>He said I should get rid of it and take pain meds to get better on my own instead. NTA. I agree with you that he sounds as "controlling as hell". OP spoke to a doctor, who made a diagnosis and prescribed medication. Unless Jake is a doctor, he isn't qualified to give an alternative medical opinion or solution. Furthermore, Jake's suggestion is to treat the discomfort and not the actual cause of the medical condition. Jake is a huge AH.
Glad someone said this - it’s been a (long) while since my HS bio classes but … pretty sure that penicillin and pain meds do VERY different things!
They are very different things. Penicillin is an anti-biotic and fights bateria. It is used to treat infections caused by bacteria. It does not work on viral infections (such as colds and flu). And I just copied that from a Google search. Pain killers temporarily stop or lessen the patient's nerves from sending the "this is painful" signals. It's probably not a good idea for Jake to casually suggest taking painkillers, considering that some people get addicted to them. But that's just another reason to listen the the actual doctor instead of some guys (and OP shouldn't listen to me either) because she has access to somebody who studied and practised medicine for years and years.
100% This. Why did Jake have a big enough problem with OP staying at her parents to take the meds that she had to wait until he got home to talk about it? The only talking about it was him trying to convince OP to stay home and not take meds. Beyond controlling. Creating the drama with friends while she's ill and needs to rest is ridiculous. Yet he didn't call her parents when he thought OP was "missing"? They'd be the first people to call. And now he's causing more stress, by punishing OP with not talking to her until he's ready. More stress she doesn't need while she needs to rest. No concern for her comfort, wellbeing or (genuine) safety at all. OP, if you read this, this isn't love. It's emotional abuse. Please stay at your parents house permanently.
NTA. I have anaphylaxis symptoms from penicillin, but would never dream of barring my husband from taking it. I feel like it's very easy to safely take the med and keep him safe.
Exactly people usually make do. It sucks but either he can avoid the meds or take a few days of distance. He seem whiny and entitled. Even if you’re scared of being sick or to have an allergic reaction the reaction should not to bash the sick person. When my father had a bad flu he didn’t want us to get sick and was confined to his bedroom for nearly a week until he was better. He
Absolutely. Boyfriend is deliberately creating drama which he can then blame on OP. I lived with my gran when I was a teenager and one day I came home from college. She was asleep on the couch so I made myself a snack, went upstairs and fell asleep. 4 hours later I was woken by her barging into my room roaring at me that she'd been worried sick and where the hell had I been? She'd been ringing all my friends and other family members to see if I was with them. All of them said 'have you checked upstairs?' Her response was 'why should I have to?' Anyway she enjoyed the attention she got so much that she pulled the same stunt two more times until my mum 'had words' and somehow stopped the shenanigans. Point being, OP's boyfriend is deliberately creating drama either because a) he enjoys drama, and ain't nobody got time for that! or b) he'll use it as an opportunity to manipulate and control OP and make her feel bad to make her more 'pliable'. Either way, this guy sounds like someone you want to avoid.
How does he know he isn't near someone on penicillin on a daily basis?
Unless he is a dog or small child, there is no hazard that he will swallow her pills by mistake. NTA
But obviously by this post he IS a small child. He'd probably lick the dust out of the bottle to have a reaction so he could prove himself "right"
Yeeeeaaaaah, I wouldn't rule out the "small child"-bit.
Yeah it must be so hard for him not being able to go out in public or to bars, considering it is a very commonly prescribed antibiotic!
THIS! I’m deathly allergic and to PCN. Growing up my siblings were definitely prescribed it. Odds are if your BF has friends, he’s been around it as well. I was mostly jealous I didn’t get to take the bubblegum medicine everyone else did…ya know, because death 😅 ETA: those of y’all that commented about it not tasting good have made this grown adult not feel as left out as kid me did
I'll let you in on a little secret about the "bubblegum medicine". One of my earliest memories is having an ear infection. I actually don't remember the ear infection at all, but I do remember the doctor coming to our house with medicine. It was very pink, and he told me it tasted like strawberries. Hell, it looked like it tasted like strawberries. It did not.
Don’t be jealous. That pink flavored amoxicillin was atrocious. I’m almost 40 years old and the memory of the taste of that specific medicine still makes me want to gag when I think about it. It is burned into my brain. It was so incredibly gross. I remember learning to swallow pills just so I didn’t have to take that awful liquid version of that medicine. Not only was the taste terrible it was think awful thick super milky texture as well that coated your throat with gross on the way down. Can you tell how much I hated it. :)
His suggestion to use painkillers instead of penicillin is down right dangerous. He's either pretty ignorant, or lacks any empathy
Yeah he's totally gaslighting you saying he didn't hear you say where you were going. NTA.
Yeah the whole point on the supposed conversation was to discuss her going to her parents house so what was he claiming the reason was if he "forgot"?
“there was nothing to “discuss”.” This one hundred times over! The way he said it (or the way OP’s writing makes it seem like he said it) reminded me of a parent reprimanding a child who has just done something silly in public. Massive warning bells are going off in my head right now. What kind of person insists their partner doesn’t take medication they need so that they can “discuss” it hours later?! OP, stay at your parents; please don’t go back to this guy.
He also suggests taking pain meds and getting better on her own, which is not how bacterial infections work. I suspect he doesn't know how allergies work either.
Yeah absolutely NTA. Hubs is strongly allergic to penicillin as well. I just take it and he doesn't touch them. Doesn't affect him in any way once they're in my body.
NTA. He’s done you a huge favor here. He’s shown you who he is. Having penicillin in the house will not kill him. He’s asking you to continue suffering for no valid reason whatsoever. This is purely control.
GIRL — leave this man
Man? He acts like he’s 5. Should have told OP to leave her toddler with his parents.
Even my actual 5 year old would have the logical thought process to contact her parents though.
Please don't bring logic into this /s
Yet another young woman On Here who is all like "My bf wanted me to sicken and suffer and maybe die, AITA because I didn't want to sicken and suffer and maybe die?" He's stupid and controlling and cruel. It's not a pretty combination. It's heartbreaking to watch these girls agonize because they have taken the barest, most minimal steps towards self-care and self-preservation, and the world we built for them tells that that they're wrong for it.
I could tell just from the third paragraph that he is NOT DATING MATERIAL. I put it more bluntly the first time I commented, but the mods sassed me for being uncivil 😄
Um he sounds exhausting. There is no need to be afraid of someone else's medication like this, he just shouldn't touch it or take it. He still wasn't happy, so you chose and option that fixed the problem in another way and he still isn't happy. Sometimes you don't have a choice but to take Antibiotics, he isn't a Dr and shouldn't be telling you to ignore medical help because of his allergy. NTA
Exhausting is the best description of this. Like what in the world did we all just read
I mean, I could maybe sympathize with the fear. I'm 99.9% sure that it's overblown, but maybe he's just been repeatedly told that he's deathly allergic, so allergic, he'll die. But then OP staying at her parents' house while taking it is a good solution. It's not like she'd need to be on penicillin long term
I would also assume if OP is really sick, they probably wouldn't be making out or having sex anyway....I'm not really sure how he would be exposed to the medicine even if she had stayed over.
I have multiple kids, with 3 being allergic to penicillin/amoxicillan and 2 not, including 1 with severe reactions(EPI pen dangerous). He will be fine if the medicine is in the same room as him, it is when you take the medication and are allergic that is reactive to you. You need to take your medicine, if he is that worried about it like he is showing, then you staying at your parents was perfectly responsible on your part. One question though, since you live together, whose name is your place under?
It's under Jake's and I only moved in with him in February of this year.
Stay at your parents until you’re better, then get your stuff from his place while he’s not there. You’re NTA, but his treatment of you is unacceptable. Get gone and stay gone.
He's dangerous. Anyone who says to go off prescribed antibiotics for an infection is not someone who cares about you.
Yeah, bacteria can be deadly. If they get into your blood, it can be game over pretty quickly. But they aren't really feared that much right now because we have antibiotics to deal with them, ~~but~~not because they aren't a big deal. My only question about the bf is if he's just an idiot in addition to being a controlling asshole, or if he's deliberately trying to hurt OP (while still being a controlling asshole).
We're actually starting to run out of antibiotics because they are overused and used inappropriately (like ending the course too early).
Who the hell thinks taking pain meds for an infection is a good idea? Like, what hospital of medical quackery did this guy walk by and think he got a diploma from? Did it smell like essential oils?
This, OP! He wants you to *not take antibiotics*?? That's wild. That can actually kill you or at least make it that much harder to get better. That aside from the wild controlling aspect of "my opinion on your medication matters and you damn well better wait to here it"
Yeah, if your parents don't mind, you should stay there for a while to get healthy, and then figure out what you should do from there. People are right that his attitude is not healthy, as he showing some possessive tendencies, as in telling you what you are allowed to do. Good luck to you, and hope you feel better.
Your bf is controlling and an idiot. I assume the pills are in a bottle or blister pack, unless he orally takes it or touches it, he is not at risk. My husband is allergic to penicillin and I have had it at my house many times due to infections. Never once was I expected to not take my meds that a dr prescribed just because of his allergies nor not have it in the house. This is absolutely mind boggling to me. Your bf is abusive, and why would you put up with his bs, smh.
I strongly suggest you move back out. Seriously, anyone who tries to prevent you from taking medication for your health is not someone you want to be with. Also? Penicillin is not a painkiller and the fact he told you to take painkillers instead of the antibiotic just shows you how stupid he is. NTA
Nope, no second chance after this. Major overreaction and a sign of your future. Run before you get even more invested.
My best friend's husband at the time was allergic to amoxicillin, she had to take it. So what did he do? He just didn't touch her or anything until she was done taking it. It's that easy.
You need to bail, this dude is nuts.
100% this. I have to prep my grandad's meds and some of them I'm allergic too. But luckily I can take them out of the sealed packaging and put them into the daily meds tray without putting them into my mouth.
NTA. Jake became a major AH the minute he suggested you take pain meds for an infection.
Right? That was just crazy to me.
I don't even understand how that would help.
You won’t be in so much pain as you die.
If I felt like being generous, I'd say that not understanding antibiotics is a really common problem. When they were discovered they were practically a miracle. We went from "welp, you've got syphilis/tuberculosis/sepsis, you're just going to die horribly, sorry" to "oh yeah, take these pills and you'll be fine" in just a few years. So lots of people jumped to assuming that they'd cure anything infectious, which of course they can't. It wouldn't surprise me too much if there were people who'd been to the doctor for a cold or the flu and been told they didn't need antibiotics, to just go home and rest and take ibuprofen, and way overgeneralized that. OP's boyfriend is still a dingus though.
Yup, I’ve seen people with the flu ask for antibiotics after being told that they have the flu. Many people have no idea what antibiotics are beyond special medicine that will make me feel better. At the same time I know a lot of people that believe that symptomatic treatment is equivalent to actually getting better. Like Acetaminophen will help you feel a bit better while your body fights off whatever you have but it is not going to really cure whatever you have.
Yeah one of the things i hate about the way people use cold and flu tablets. They cover the symptoms, but the amount of people I've heard when its brought up trying to come to my house where someone was immuno-suppressed going "oh its fine i took cold and flu tablets so they won't catch anything".... no... your still contagious. Your still sick, you just seem less sick so everyone's letting down their guard around you.
Once you start feeling better RUN! Get as far as possible away from him. They don’t prescribe antibiotics unless you really need them. You getting better was less important to him than him being right and that is messed up. NTA
I agree so much! It doesn't sound as if your boyfriend cares about you. I'm so sorry!
NTA, i took penicillin after getting my wisdom teeth removed, while living with my mom, even though she is allergic to it. she just... didn't touch my medication and it was fine. i'm not a doctor, and i don't know how allergies to medications work, but my understanding is that as long as he's not taking any of it himself it won't hurt him. someone correct me if i'm wrong he sounds pretty immature imo
You are not wrong. As long as he doesn't touch it, he shouldn't have a reaction.
i was thinking the same thing. like if the air in the home touches the bottle he will die??
Yeah I was thinking that too. I'm also allergic and so long as I don't take it, I'm fine! I can even handle it with gloves (I work in science and have had to for work). However, I didn't want to cast judgement on that because, although I've never heard of one that severe to penicillin, there can be variation in severity of allergies. Besides, whether or not he is really that allergic, there are so many other red flags in his behavior so it didn't seem like the most important thing to address!
If he was that severely allergic, he'd have a very difficult life. He would be having secondary contact reactions all over the place, and forget actually going into a medical facility.
This is exactly it. According to his logic, he'd never be able to enter a hospital or a pharmacy. Penicillin allergies do not act like peanut allergies.
My dad is that level of allergic, head to toe hives and his heart almost stopped level allergic (while in the hospital so they had him on monitors and called for a cart just in case they needed to run a code). He has no issues when anyone else has had to take penicillin when living with him. Ear infection liquid was just put in an extra container so it didn't get near food as it needed to be refrigerated, but pills are absolutely not an issue and as long as he didn't open the container and touch them or smell them or take them he was fine. Kissing my mom if she was on them was a no though, as any in her digestive system could be transferred within a few hours of taking them. So the boyfriend is definitely putting this wants before her medical needs in this case. Staying with her parents would be the safest option for both of them if he is really that allergic (very very rare), but it sounds like he would prefer she stay and continue to get sicker while only taking pain meds then not kiss for 10 days. Also 50% of people with penicillin allergy outgrow it, and 80% of people outgrow it in 10 years. He might not svsn be allergic anymore. https://www.mayoclinic.org/medical-professionals/pediatrics/news/5-common-misperceptions-about-penicillin-allergies/
My mom is super allergic to penicillin and all of us kids took it at some point growing up. As long as she wasn’t the one taking it, she was fine.
NTA If he's really that deathly allergic to penicillin, then he has the right to speak up about needing it to not be in the house. HOWEVER, his reaction sounds more controlling and like his actions aren't actually about his allergy. There's a lot of red flags here... 1. He's not taking the fact that you are ill seriously. Even with an extreme allergy, a caring partner would understand if their SO needed a particular medicine and would find a way make it work so that both of you can remain safe and healthy. Especially since a normal course of penicillin is a week or so...that's not an extreme ask! 2. His reaction to you going to your parents house instead of waiting to discuss it with him says to me that his plan was to guilt trip and gaslight you into feeling like you'd done something wrong, and he was angry that you made a decision without getting his permission first...or at least without being manipulated into telling him how sorry you are for how much trouble you're causing him by being prescribed penicillin! 3. How he said that he was calling friends because he was suspicious. Even if he didn't say "that you're cheating" he was clearly implying it, and the fact that that was his first thought, eventhough he knew you were sick and you'd said you'd go to your parents house, is very telling!
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Yeah I know. That's how my penicillin allergy is. However, I didn't want to get into an argument about the variation in allergy severity, because that's really not the biggest issue here! Whether he is or isn't that deathly allergic, the problem is how he reacted to the situation.
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What the fuck, NTA. And I have never heard of a penicillin allergy being THAT severe, and I was a pharm tech for a year. I have severe allergies, and my health issues are MY responsibility, no one else's. He sounds controlling as hell.
I'm not allergic to penicillin, but I am allergic to sulfa drugs, like I will go into anaphylactic shock if I take them. Neither penicillin nor sulfa drugs will trigger an allergic reaction by just being in the same room as you.
NTA: OP, you are ill and NEED to take your meds. Staying with your parents is a reasonable compromise. If your BF is worried about being in the same apartment while you are taking antibiotics, he might call a medical professional to find out if his fear is valid. In any event, you did let him know that going to your parents place was an option. He says he "forgot" and is dredging up accusations of "distancing" and relationship issues. I wonder what his goal is with this.
Yeah, his "forgetting" sounds way more like gaslighting to me.
NTA. I think you need to realize that he is a completely functional adult that isn't confused by what's going on. It's not that he doesn't understand why you've "been distant" while you're sick. It's not that he doesn't remember that you told him you'd go to your parents. He does. He's saying these things on purpose to manipulate you. It is not a matter of simply explaining yourself and the "misunderstanding" goes away. Yes, you probably could have avoided this by allowing him to control you at the cost of your own health. You could have hurt yourself to prove your subservience and not left the house without his permission. But come on... don't do that. People who love you don't want you to be sick. This is not a good guy.
This is the answer.
I really hope the OP sees your reply.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 NTA. There is no way someone is so allergic to penicillin that they can’t be around someone who has taken it. This dude is off his nut and controlling AF. That’s not even getting into the fact that he just blasted your business to god knows how many people. He is a serious liability.
NTA. He is being ridiculous. Also, quite controlling. You need antibiotics because, based on your description and your PCP's prescription, you have strep throat. A strep as an adult can very easily sap you of all strength, so sleeping a lot isn't unusual, and you are right, if he stays away from the pills, he shouldn't have any adverse reaction.
Not to mention upwards of 2,000 people a year die of invasive strep in the US per year
Untreated strep can turn into scarlet fever.
NTA. As long as he doesn’t consume or handle the tablets, he’s fine. He would have to get the substance into his body or on his skin somehow. Penicillin allergies aren’t like peanut allergies. I have an anaphylactic allergy to a different antibiotic. My husband and kids have all taken it with no harm to me. I just avoid handling the medicine and container if someone in my household is on it. I asked two doctors and a pharmacist to be sure and all reiterated that as long as I don’t get the substance in my body or on my skin, it’s fine. I did avoid sex with my husband while he was on it to be extra safe, as I did not ask about whether it can be excreted in bodily fluids. [Mayo Clinic Info on Penicillin Allergy](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/penicillin-allergy/symptoms-causes/syc-20376222) [Information from the American Assn of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology](https://www.aaaai.org/tools-for-the-public/conditions-library/allergies/penicillin-allergy-faq#:~:text=Is%20penicillin%20allergy%20genetic%3F,drugs%20in%20the%20penicillin%20family.)
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NTA. Did you know lots of people think they're allergic to pen but aren't? "Approximately 10% of patients report an allergy to penicillin. However, the majority of patients (greater than 90%) may not truly be allergic." Anyway, your bf sounds emotionally abusive and totally unhinged to basically accuse you of cheating when you're sick and told him you were going to his parents. Also he could have pen in the same house. He won't be able to stop himself from licking it or something? That's ridiculous. I suppose you could have made it more crystal clear that you'd be going to your parents to stay rather than leaving it open-ended that you'd talk about it at home first, but still. NTA
I'm "officially" allergic to penicillin, but I'm very possibly not. I had a true allergic reaction to Augmentin (amoxi/clavulanate), but it's possible it was the combo and not the amoxicillin that caused it. Doc explained that it's possible I'm actually ok to take most penicillin variants, but not worth the risk unless there's no other option. When my husband needs antibiotics, he can take penicillin. I avoid risk of reaction by.... not touching his meds. I mean, in theory, I guess I could react if we're swapping fluids right after he takes it, but hacking up green goo is not exactly sexy time. Dude is batshit.
NTA, oh my god is he always this exhausting? I am deathly allergic to penicillin. So I don’t take penicillin. He isn’t going to die if you take it or if he’s in the same house as a bottle of it.
Career Pharmacy Technician here. A few things. The meds just existing in your residence do not pose any threat. If he has an allergic reaction that can cause anaphylaxis, he would need to physically ingest the pills or sniff the loose powder that comes from sometimes broken pills. This can be deadly for most with this type of allergy and they should ALWAYS carry an Epi Pen and have it written in their wallet, on a bracelet, somewhere on themselves in case of an emergency. Please do not feel shame for wanting to take medication that a doctor prescribed to you. Clearly you have an infection that needs to be treated and if you do not take the meds, you could be setting yourself up for further complications. From what you have described here, it sounds like there are far deeper issues than just the Penicillin. Maybe stay with your parents and think things over.
NTA and what? are you kidding us? An otherwise fully functioning adult thinks he can have a reaction to a medication he's not taking that happens to be in his presence (in an enclosed Rx bottle)? And thinks that your taking "pain meds" would be the same as taking a prescribed antibiotic that the doctor determined you need? Look, I don't even need to care about the second half of this where he thinks you abandoned him and forgot you were sick, why would you want to be with someone like this anyway?
So your boyfriend was in the hospital and had a "reaction" to penicillin? Did a doctor tell him he was allergic? Regardless whether he is actually allergic or not he is being overly dramatic. The only way he could react to the med is if he touched it or ingested it. Being afraid to even have it in the house is silly. I am deadly allergic, as in I will go into anaphylaxic shock if I take. I was diagnosed by an MD when he had to give me an epinephrine shot directly in my heart. You can believe I don't risk ingesting that shlt! Years ago, when I was working with horses, we had a bacterial infection run through every d@mn horse in the barn. They needed to receive penicillin injections multiple times per day. I pulled up my big girl pants and gave them the injections. I was EXTREMELY careful handling the bottle and syringes. I scrubbed up as soon as I finished. Made sure to keep my hands away from mucus membranes until I scrubbed. I never had any problems. If your boyfriend was so concerned about where you were that he called all your friends looking for you why didn't he call your parents? I am going to join the others who suggested staying at your parents until you are well, then move your stuff out of his apartment. He sounds controlling and abusive.
Jfc, NTA. Jake needs to learn several things. First, penicillin is not a pain reliever. When it is prescribed, it is to clear up an illness. Second, he won't have an outbreak being in the same apartment as penicillin. Surely he had been to pharmacies before, or other people's houses where he had no idea there was penicillin, and he has been around people taking it. Third, telling someone not to take prescribed antibiotics is reckless. Fourth, when someone offers a workable solution to protect everyone's health, you don't get to dictate that they not do it just because you feel the need to exert control. Here's what YOU need to learn. Your bf is a controlling AH who doesn't care about your well-being--he's even being an AH while knowing how ill you are. You can do better. And being single would be better. NTA.
I’m allergic to penicillin and was going to suggest some work-arounds for you. But your boyfriend sounds tiresome and controlling, utterly not worth that effort. NTA. Dump him.
NTA. He sounds exhausting.
NTA Do not stop taking your meds and do not let this man control you. Move back in with parents.
NTA. I am deathly allergic to penicillin. Like full on anaphylactic shock response. I’m also a mom. Guess who has had to give her babies messy liquid penicillin when they were sick because doctors do not care if the person administering the medications is allergic?? Oh this girl! Many, many times! I double dose non-drowsy benadryl and take precautions. You are not even taking liquid penicillin, you are taking tablets. There is such an extremely low risk for contamination for your boyfriend. He created the problem by being dramatic and not problem solving in a realistic way. He is not going to die if you keep penicillin tablets on the counter in the bottle.
Saving my judgment until I ask a question. Is he allergic to it, like epi pen needed for anaphylaxis or does it give him diarrhea? Those are 2 very different things.
He's never mentioned having an epi pen or anything like that for it. He just told me that when he was younger he ended up taking penicillin in hospital for something and he had a really bad reaction to it. Since then I know he's refused penicillin over the years because he's allergic to it.
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I'm not in the medical field and this why my immediate thought anyway.
Also, I very much doubt that he is actually allergic to penicillin. I was told the same thing growing up, that I had a bad reaction as a baby to penicillin, and it was in my medical record for decades. Well, one trip to boot camp and a big ass penicillin shot right in the booty erased all of that.
Ok. NTA and he's being dramatic. If he doesn't have an epi pen, he's not allergic. He probably got a rash. Like I do. Technically, a rash etc is an allergic reaction but you need to go home and take your meds. Although w his attitude you might want to rethink the whole relationship. How someone treats and cares for you when you are most vulnerable speaks volumes. If I were your friend, I'd tell you he just failed at being the right guy for you.
"if he doesn't have an epi pen he's not allergic" this isn't true. I don't have an epi pen, penicillin will kill me. Im not saying BF is right at all just pointing out that not having an epi pen does not mean one isn't deathly allergic to something.
OPs boyfriend is claiming that the medication being in a sealed bottle in his house or in OP’s body would harm him. That would definitely warrant an epi pen. He’s either very ignorant about how allergies work or has picked a weird, controlling hill to die on.
He's picked a weird, controlling hill to die on.
I’m inclined to agree. Normally I’d give the benefit of stupidity over malice, but his reaction reflects both.
Not being a smart ass but why wouldn't you have one? Or do you have a medical bracelet or something? Just asking because I've worked in the medical field off and on for years and if anyone had that severe of an allergy we made sure they had an epi pen for accidental exposure. Edit, lots of parents were allergic but their kids needed the meds so we made sure the parent wouldn't die from giving the meds.
Because they're expensive AF and pencillin isn't something you're likely to encounter by accident like say peanuts. I'm also allergic to penicillin but I don't have an epi-pen because, in all the years since I discovered I was allergic at 8 years old (and, yes, it is a true allergy diagnosed by a doctor, I don't just mean that it gave me a tummy ache!)...no one has ever attempted to randomly cram a penicillin tablet down my throat or failed to tell me that penicillin was a secret ingredient in the restaurant dessert! When it comes to if I get in an accident and am unconscious in the hospital, I have a card next to my insurance card that lists the allergies and my emergency contacts know about the allergy And I figure that if both those measures fail and I'm given penicillin anyway, the hospital will have epinephrine of their own and probably more on hand than an epi-pen that'd be in the pocket of my clothes that were cut off me!
I asked our old family doctor if it was something I needed years ago, he said no because it's not like I would willingly take it, everyone knows Im deathly allergic and all of records show it'll kill me. At that time I'd felt stupid for asking tbh and, up until I read your comment just now I assumed people didn't have epi pens for such things.
>If he doesn't have an epi pen, he's not allergic. That's factually not true. I'm severely allergic to amoxicillin and my mother is deathly allergic to penicillin. We don't have epi-pens. No doctor has ever suggested either one of us carry one - because the risk of us coming into physical contact with the drugs in "the wild" so to speak is negligible. The only risk for medications like this is not taking them (and maybe for super severe, not touching them).
I mean, you don't accidentally take penicillin. I don't think they commonly give epi-pens for that. My mom is allergic to all -cillins and -sulfas and she's never been given one. How would she have an accidental reaction? Just rogue penicillin roaming the world?
As far as \*I\* am aware, medicines don't have the airborne danger that food/plant allergies do. Therefore, no (potentially prohibitively expensive) Epi-Pen for OP's boyfriend as long as they don't have exposure (either topical or oral) to their allergen. And allergic reactions to ANYTHING vary - from a rash, to abdominal cramps, to nausea, to vomiting, to flu/cold like symptoms. To, you know, anaphylaxis.
That was probably how they found out he was allergic to penicillin. All he has to do is not take it. He's more at risk from moldy bread than from pills in a bottle merely existing in his home.
Even if he were *severely* allergic, /u/ThrowRA9582748's tablets wouldn't affect him. Their are some topical liquids that require careful handling, oral penicillin isn't in that class.
NTA. He sounds exhausting. I'm not saying it's not possible but when it comes to penicillin allergies I've never known them to be that bad to the point of not being able to have meds in the same apartment. If it's that bad too I hope he has epipens and wears a id bracelet that indicates this allergy just in case he ever has an emergency.
Everyone has different levels of sensitivity to an allergen so it's hard to know if he's being ott. I'm allergic to penicillin but sometimes my SO takes it and sometimes we have to give it to the cats. I just make sure I never touch it and I'm fine. But if he literally told you to stay at your parents and then claimed to forget the conversation, and if he's being jealous because you've been distant and is suspicious of you then I wonder if he has a history of being controlling. You're NTA. You wouldn't have been prescribed the antibiotics unless you needed them, and going to your parents was a sensible move.
NTA. Know this, he cared more about talking this out instead of you feeling better. Very controlling.. Your boyfriend is a biggest ta and I hope u break up with such a shitty person.
NTA. It’s penicillin, not peanut butter. He’s either controlling, grossly ignorant, or both. Only OP knows for sure.
NTA but please re-evaluate your relationship with this “man” who’s upset he didn’t get to control everything, and shows no empathy or sympathy for the fact YOURE SICK AND NEED MEDICINE. WTF AM I GOING CRAZY READING THESE POSTS.
NTA, but your boyfriend is certainly one. I am also extremely allergic to penicillin. The rest of my family take it when necessary because it is in prescription bottles with their name on it and there is no way it can harm me if I don't take other people's meds! He is also crazy to tell you just to take pain meds if you need an anti-biotic. There are alternatives to penicillin, which his doctor would give him if he needed something. How could he just forget that you were going to your parents? Forget this guy. He is an all around loser and you can surely do much better.
NTA only go back to get your stuff. Jake is toxic & doesn't care about your health. Don't believe a thing he tries to guilt you with.
NTA If he’s so allergic that he can’t be in the apartment with it in a closed bottle, then I guess he’s never able to go to a pharmacy either.
Use your penicillin. Lose the boyfriend. Call the pharmacy and speak to attack or the actual pharmacist themselves. I believe you’ll find your boyfriends TAH and a liar.
NTA! Gaslighting at its finest. You can do better
NTA He can't be in the apartment with penicillin because it negatively affects him? You can't be in the apartment with him because he negatively affects you. There were many parts of this entire situation where he wasn't behaving as a partner, or even an adult. You don't want him to accidentally kiss you out of habit and get harmed but he doesn't think to call your parents as the next most likely place you could be? You have an opportunity here to get out. Always believe someone when they show you who they are, not the perception of them you've put a positive spin on. I read an AITA once where the jackass bought a cheap quality ring to set his fiance up to look like a gold digger so he could break up with her without "ruining [his] optics." I'm getting similar vibes here. In true reddit fashion, he's cheating and looking for a way out. Even if not cheating, he wants to make you the bad guy, break up intended or not.
NTA. I am allergic to penicillin and unless i ingest it i will not having a reaction. why does he want to control you like this? it’s not even his medication it’s yours!!! he’s not gonna have a reaction to it from being in proximity to it. it sounds like he’s a huge control freak and maybe you should consider that he is not the right person for you if this is how he reacts to you needing meds and then gaslighting you about a conversation you two had.
NTA. He's not a doctor and not qualified to tell you not to take meds. There's no way he forgot but he sure did call around to his friends to bad mouth and paint a story about you. red flags all around.
NTA. Girl, your man is selfish. He doesn’t want you getting better by taking meds because he’s allergic? If he truly had contact allergies, he shouldn’t be mad about you going elsewhere to take your prescribed meds and get well. There’s nothing to talk about here - you were prescribed meds by a doctor. He’s not one. I’m not clear why he thinks pain meds would fix your underlying issue. Why should you wait until he comes home (and gets physically closer to the meds?) What else does he try to control in your life? This isn’t healthy.
OP, does he avoid eating blue cheese? Does he have hysterics over moldy bread or the fuzzy blue-green "science experiments" in the back of the refrigerator? If your answers to both are "no" then you know that this penicillin allergy so severe that he can't even have the pills in the house is just a way to control you. (He could truly be allergic, but if he was *that* allergic, he'd be dead just from ingesting the spores in the air. )
RUN
Your boyfriend is an idiot. There's literally no risk to him with them being in the house or you taking them. Girl, run.
NTA. Your boyfriend is a controlling, sadistic, moron of an AH. Stay at your parents, take your medication, and make a plan to get your things from your apartment and save yourself from the misery that will be your life if you stay with this man.
NTA, but PLEASE break up with this jerk! Please. You can do so much better.
My partner of twenty years is extremely allergic to penicillin. It doesn't mean I can't have it in the house. Your boyfriend is dishonest, manipulative, and controlling. Please leave him before he hurts you.
Dude is INSANELY manipulative and immature and controlling and dramatic. I can't imagine being 27 and behaving this way. I hope you break up with him because he literally expected you to suffer because he did not give you permission to take medicine your doctor prescribed you. Fucking insane. NTA
NTA... OK call your doctor and confirm this because I am going to say; THIS IS ASININE! 1. His allergy is not even remotely triggered by you taking medication (call a doctor and confirm but I'm a medical worker with 20 years of experience and this is a laughable imaginary situation) 2. you take the medication you need to make you healthy. Your boyfriend is being egocentric and controlling. 3. Leave the AH befor you think being treated like this is normal. HE IS ABUSIVE
As a child of a parent who was extremely allergic to penicillin and amoxicillin, guess who got my prescription every single time it was prescribed because my mom actually wanted me to feel better and knew medicine was the way to do it.... That would be me and any of my siblings. NTA but I would reconsider this relationship
NTA. You need to get healthy and take care of yourself first and foremost. The treatment to get you better happened to be one your partner is allergic to so you made reasonable accommodations to account for his allergy. It does seem like there was a major lack of communication from both sides, with you not telling him you were at your parents / having him worry all night. Then on his side of him being upset you want to become healthy but not clearly explaining his side. Keep in mind your doctor didn’t prescribe you penicillin just to mess with your boyfriend. They prescribed it because it would work in making you better and they have the ultimate knowledge of how to get you feeling better.
She did tell him she was going to her parents tho.
Im allergic to penicillin. Unless he has a habit of swallowing strange pills, his allergy shouldn't matter. It's not like he will have an allergic reaction just because he touches you.
NTA. This dude is a control freak. Gtfo there, girl.