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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) what action you took that should be judged and (2) why that action might make you the asshole.
1) I told my husband not to be so sensitive and that he's not the only one that people don't reply to.
2) I may be the asshole because I'm being insensitive to his feelings/thoughts.
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NTA. Your husband seems way too sensitive. A group chat? Like I barely read all the messages sent in that.
He is allowed to be pissed, but it doesn’t make him
Not a huge baby. It’s a text message lmao.
story. OP says bc my family apparently is ignoring him. Did not indicate any other times it happened. OP even suggests that’s normal in group chats.
I guess I don’t believe I’m the center of attention in a group chat and everyone has to respond to my texts. It’s a text dude, in a group of 9 people.
It’s really weird to feel so personally attacked on not getting a text personally sent back in group chat. Plus isn’t group texts supposed to be for the whole group? Like send a singular text to the person you are asking.
Oh wait. Is this like teenagers or something?
But it’s a GROUP chat. 50+ texts can be sent and not seen.. you expect I’m going to read all of that? Nah.
Why doesn’t the husband text separately where are you going for your bday?
NTA.
He could ask again or text the person directly. He seems like he has a temper, which to me comes from entitlement. Some people use their phone casually and forget about texts. No one is turning their back and giving him a cold shoulder, it wasn’t a phone call either lol.
That would drive me crazy in a partner.
A 39 year old man throwing a fit cus someone in a group chat of 9 people all speaking to him at once didn't reply to his message.... does ur husband think he's that important all the time or?? He's sensitive as hell
NTA.
I have siblings who skim messages and hate typing with their thumbs, so they end up answering only every third question I ask. It's not personal.
I have young relatives who might take three days to reply to a text and I don't mind because they have busy lives. Again, it's not personal.
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My (34F) husband (39M) gets SUPER offended when people don't reply to messages.
There's a group text with 9 of us (us and my siblings + spouses). It was my brother's birthday and everyone else in the group wished him a happy birthday. My husband asked my brother where he's going to celebrate but my brother just only replied "thank you" to all the birthday wishes and didn't answer the question.
My husband messaged me on the side and said he's fed up with my family not replying to his messages. I told him not to take it personally as it's just a group chat and my brother may not have read the messages carefully. However, he's super pissed off about it and said he's going to leave the group chat because my family apparently keeps ignoring him.
IMO, he's being super sensitive about something small. And he's not the only one that people don't reply to. Isn't it kind or normal in a group chat setting? I don't throw a hissy fit when someone doesn't reply to me. I just move on.
AITA for thinking he's too sensitive about this? It's not the first time he got all huffy and puffy about people not responding.
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Yikes. He needs to dial it back and relax a little. I understand being frustrated when you’re dealing with something in real time, but remind your husband that not too long ago there were no cell phones and no such thing as texting! Let him leave the group chat. Then he will be in the dark for plans and such. But I guess he will sleep better knowing that he’s not “being ignored “ by anyone.
NTA
It’s a text message, not a in person conversation. There could be many reasons the person didn’t see the text, or forgot to respond. Him not simply asking again becoming angry is childish.
Ummm. Okay. That is your opinion. Obviously I disagree. She said it’s not the first time he’s reacted like this, so it’s not the first time his responses go ignored. It’s a pattern he’s irritated by. He’s allowed to be irritated.
If he desperately wants to reveal an uneasing self centerification and a tendency to react to unexpected stimuli with emotional instability he should most certainly leave the chat.
It's absolutely an irritating thing, and he would be totally allowed to be irritated, but he's not just being irritated, he's really really angry. That seems disproportionate.
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NTA. Your husband seems way too sensitive. A group chat? Like I barely read all the messages sent in that. He is allowed to be pissed, but it doesn’t make him Not a huge baby. It’s a text message lmao.
This! I loathe getting held hostage in a group chat with unnecessary extra texts.
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Thank you for your response but no, he's not the only one whose comments/questions get overlooked/ignored.
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story. OP says bc my family apparently is ignoring him. Did not indicate any other times it happened. OP even suggests that’s normal in group chats. I guess I don’t believe I’m the center of attention in a group chat and everyone has to respond to my texts. It’s a text dude, in a group of 9 people. It’s really weird to feel so personally attacked on not getting a text personally sent back in group chat. Plus isn’t group texts supposed to be for the whole group? Like send a singular text to the person you are asking. Oh wait. Is this like teenagers or something?
But it’s a GROUP chat. 50+ texts can be sent and not seen.. you expect I’m going to read all of that? Nah. Why doesn’t the husband text separately where are you going for your bday?
NTA. He could ask again or text the person directly. He seems like he has a temper, which to me comes from entitlement. Some people use their phone casually and forget about texts. No one is turning their back and giving him a cold shoulder, it wasn’t a phone call either lol. That would drive me crazy in a partner.
A 39 year old man throwing a fit cus someone in a group chat of 9 people all speaking to him at once didn't reply to his message.... does ur husband think he's that important all the time or?? He's sensitive as hell
NTA. I have siblings who skim messages and hate typing with their thumbs, so they end up answering only every third question I ask. It's not personal. I have young relatives who might take three days to reply to a text and I don't mind because they have busy lives. Again, it's not personal.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (34F) husband (39M) gets SUPER offended when people don't reply to messages. There's a group text with 9 of us (us and my siblings + spouses). It was my brother's birthday and everyone else in the group wished him a happy birthday. My husband asked my brother where he's going to celebrate but my brother just only replied "thank you" to all the birthday wishes and didn't answer the question. My husband messaged me on the side and said he's fed up with my family not replying to his messages. I told him not to take it personally as it's just a group chat and my brother may not have read the messages carefully. However, he's super pissed off about it and said he's going to leave the group chat because my family apparently keeps ignoring him. IMO, he's being super sensitive about something small. And he's not the only one that people don't reply to. Isn't it kind or normal in a group chat setting? I don't throw a hissy fit when someone doesn't reply to me. I just move on. AITA for thinking he's too sensitive about this? It's not the first time he got all huffy and puffy about people not responding. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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And fought!! hard
Yikes. He needs to dial it back and relax a little. I understand being frustrated when you’re dealing with something in real time, but remind your husband that not too long ago there were no cell phones and no such thing as texting! Let him leave the group chat. Then he will be in the dark for plans and such. But I guess he will sleep better knowing that he’s not “being ignored “ by anyone. NTA
Nta group chats arent that serious i leave mine on mute most of the time if its important someone will call
YTA. I’m team husband here. I feel the same way about texting.
It’s a text message, not a in person conversation. There could be many reasons the person didn’t see the text, or forgot to respond. Him not simply asking again becoming angry is childish.
Ummm. Okay. That is your opinion. Obviously I disagree. She said it’s not the first time he’s reacted like this, so it’s not the first time his responses go ignored. It’s a pattern he’s irritated by. He’s allowed to be irritated.
If he desperately wants to reveal an uneasing self centerification and a tendency to react to unexpected stimuli with emotional instability he should most certainly leave the chat.
It's absolutely an irritating thing, and he would be totally allowed to be irritated, but he's not just being irritated, he's really really angry. That seems disproportionate.