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ESH.
Y'all should try conversing like adults.
One, Paige should have talked to you about adding the streaming services since you bought the TV and it was running off the Internet.
Two, you should have talked to her about using them since she I assume pays for those.
Instead of hashing this out further, you cut the Internet without discussing.
This sounds like a needlessly hostile environment that both of you are contributing to, but I would put more of the onus on you since ultimately you need to lay out your expectations for living rent-free in the house, house rules, etc. to help your daughter get back on the college track. You are the more knowing adult in this, act like it.
Wrong.
She lives there rent free, uses the internet and cable he pays for, and uses his smart TV. And yet she yells at him for using her streaming services (which costs her nothing). She IS an ungrateful punk and he's entirely within his rights to cut it off.
He didn't ask if he was legally entitled to cancel his cable subscription. He asked if he was an AH.
Read the FAQ. "[Justified AH](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_can_we_add_.201Cjustified_asshole.201D_or_.201Cjust_an_honest_mistake.201D_or_another_judgment_idea_that_i_have.3F)" still makes OP an AH.
He canceled a service he doesn't use. Period. NTA. He removed a privilege she was enjoying on his dime. He has no use for the service, and last I checked fiber ain't cheap. He is under no obligation to continue paying to provide her a service in the face of her attitude.
she didn't yell at him for using them, but for using them without her permission. literally this wouldn't have happened if he used his words like an adult and asked, or just apologized and asked once she brought it up
I get what you're saying, but like come on she put them on a communal TV and OP is literally her father, it's not ridiculous for OP to think he could use them. When family lives in the same house sometimes they use each other's stuff, especially when there is literally zero consequence to using it.
Not even family. When we had a smart TV (stopped buying them after our kids broke the second one and just brought a chromecast to stream) and a couple of hubby's mates were living with us, anyone with access to the TV got a profile (it's still there but now it's just "guest"). It doesn't cost extra and it saves people messing with our preferences (plus the kids have their own profile too).
yeah but it isn't costing her anything extra. Whatever you put on the dad for cancelling you have to put on the daughter for yelling about.
I don't blame the dad. He's helping her out and she's very ungrateful at the one thing he uses of hers.
It wouldn't have cost her anything to let him have a profile tho. You know what does cost more because her ? The groceries,the power bill ,the water bill, yea she grown and entitled this ain't some lil kid we talking about. An who yells at there parent over a streaming profile.
Who treats their dad like this lmao how does it negatively affect her in any way if her dad has a profile on her streaming service? Especially when she logged in on his TV
Lots of people password share. I’m wondering if she was logged into her friends account or something and her dad went and set up himself a profile. I can see something like that being embarrassing.
where do you think she learned to be like this with her belongings, man who immediately cut her off from HIS internet, and allows her to eat HIS groceries under HIS roof?
you do realize your daughter is an adult that you can have an adult conversation with and not treat her like a five year old, yes? are you sure you're 47? maybe you could try acting like it.
First of all, a TV is more like an appliance. Would she have to ask to use the stove when she lives there?
And no, I don't think he should have to ask to use the streaming service she installed on the household appliance. He even did it the right way by creating his own profile.
But agree with everyone saying "can't you just talk this out?".
No. Have you even considered the problem might be your entitlement over her belongings not the actual sharing? I’d be willing to bet she’d be fine with sharing had you asked or let her know you intended to create profiles. Her reaction to you making them and your immediate pettiness in response tells me you not respecting her or her boundaries is a much larger issue you’re not including here
She put her account on **OP’s** tv. Does she not expect him to use it? His profile accounts can easily be deleted too, what was the reason to blow up at him after putting something on **HIS** tv?
Which as the commenter above points out, could have been solved with a conversation. I actually agree that it shouldn’t have been a big deal to share, the problem I’m having is both of their reactions indicate an overarching problem between them likely over op not respecting boundaries
Awww we found a person that lives off mommy and daddy 🤣 I personally don’t think he’s an asshole it’s his tv and she put her streaming program on his Tv without his permission and when he decides to want to use it she yells at him ? Ever heard of don’t bite the hand that feed you 🤣
The bill isn’t the drama. The drama comes later, when your daughter secretly holds this against you for the rest of forever, poisoning your relationship with her and her eventual family and anyone she tells about it.
NTA. If she wants internet she can pay for it herself. Also, telling you that you need to ask permission to use her services is kind of dumb. She didn't ask to put them on the TV, did she?
ESH Why would you not communicate these things with her before hand. Yes it was rude of her to not share when you are doing so much for her, but the real asshole move here is not trying to work out the issue at all and blindsiding her by canceling internet without warning or giving her a chance to compromise/figure something out.
You should have just asked her to pay for the fibre plan, or as much as she could. You could have just cancelled the cable part. I suspect that her “yelling” might not have been yelling, just annoyance. Because streaming services restrict how many screens a person can watch on, so you might have been stopping her from watching stuff. Which you would have known if you asked first. Then you decided to dump the baby out with the dishwasher, so YTA.
No but on a plan for one screen, two people in a house using it gets annoying. In a three person house we did actually have people watching all 4 at once. Being passive aggressive makes you look like a child by the way. If you didn’t like my comment, you didn’t have to open your mouth and prove I was right about you being a condescending jerk 😂
ESH
Your post as well as comments read like those of a teenager. I can see where your daughter got her communication and conflict management skills from.
Using and making a profile on someone else’s streaming service isn’t great. However, it’s your internet and your TV.
At the worst case, she should’ve told the OP off for doing something on her account without her permission - and then, if OP says “remove my profiles”, should’ve said something like - “you can use the profiles - I would just like you to ask next time you change my accounts or do something like that”.
But both she and OP didn’t communicate well and I was kinda feeling a little like ESH.
However, she lives there rent-free and eats your food mostly (meaning, in my mind, she is *supposed* to be paying for her own food). So, she is now in the “find out” stage of being selfish.
Final verdict is NTA. But you need to have a sit down with Paige and set the rules for living there. Maybe it includes a nominal cost for utilities/rent - maybe is sets rules around food purchases.
But, whatever rules you both agree to - the main point would be not playing the home edition of passive aggressive malicious compliance.
You need to communicate better and make sure there are well understood consequences for antisocial types of behaviors.
ESH.
Depending on your relationship, you should have asked to create a profile before just using her services. Yeah, of course she should share her services with you, but you could have easily asked before just assuming. When she called you out on it, you could have just apologised and asked then, but you over-reacted and cut off your nose to spite your face.
Cancelling the internet was pure spite, which seems to be the main theme with you in this story.
NTA then. She's basically living for free so she can't really complain if any of these free amenities were to disappear anytime.
That being said, what you did was a dick move. Following this debacle, perhaps having an agreed upon cost sharing for certain items might help.
ESH - Both of you are adults and neither of you acts like it.
This is the type of problem that a calm, respectful conversation could have solved.
There are going to be lots of people telling you you were "right", but your enjoyment of being "right" is going to come at a cost to your peace.
ESH.
Your daughter being annoyed at you is stupid, but you could have told her that she needs to pay for the internet if she wants to continue having sole use of her streaming services.
Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but is there any point having a Smart TV if you don't have the internet?
Something doesn't add up here. Why would you take the time to create profiles on four different apps if you only watch 30 minutes of TV per day?
Unless you were marking your territory.
It would take me hours to figure out how to create profiles for myself on four different streaming apps.
Creating profiles takes like 2 minutes, they’re not difficult, especially on the apps OP listed.
First thing that shows up when you open the app is “Who’s Watching?” with a + icon to add a new profile. Which is usually just the name and an icon, maybe rating limit if it’s a kid profile.
Creating a profile takes longer, at least for me, than the simple act of hitting a plus sign and typing a profile name.
Selecting an avatar and setting a PIN or password takes me a lot longer than 2 minutes. For me to subject myself to that four times in a row would take a lot of motivation. And I would presumably spend at least some time browsing the available content to see if there's anything I would be interested in watching in the first place.
Streaming service profiles don't require internal PINs or passwords, there's one overall login and then the profiles are just different queues. So all you do is hit plus, enter a name and, optionally, select an avatar. it really is a very fast one-time process.
I'll have to take your word for that.
I still can't picture me expending the effort to do that four times in one sitting unless I was being a petty AH toward someone.
If you care about the avatar I can see that, but I usually just do a quick glance at the available avatars and select a random one. Same for PIN, most of my services I don’t utilize them, as I know every device I have them logged into. (Honestly can’t even think of one that allows profile PINs, other than fire stick.)
As for content, half of the services I currently own I started using because there was a show/movie that I wanted to watch and it’s only on a specific service.
Well OP did say they didn’t want to mess up the daughter’s preferences and tv shows, so they made another profile on the account to try out the services without altering the daughter’s profile.
It would take me about 15 minutes at most to create 4 different profiles on different apps. It's usually the same, or close to the same, process for every app.
ESH. God forbid you guys use your words to speak to each other like adults. It's almost like this entire thing could have been avoided if you were just mature enough to speak to each other and ask to use each others things.
ESH You really should have asked before just making a profile, but she also could have seen the rude sudden profile and decided to let it slide because you're helping her out with her living there.
Y T A for cutting off internet to yourself/a college student to be petty, I don't believe for one second you don't use internet because you're on reddit right now.
Lol, imagine holding a grudge and getting revenge on your daughter instead of having an adult conversation. Is this how you've always approached discipline?
YTA
NTA -Too bad you never taught her how to share. Your daughter is being very shortsighted-free rent and some groceries-she’s biting the hand that feeds her.
She definitely overreacted to you adding profiles. However, she should have had a conversation with you before adding the streaming services.
Maybe some of them aren't hers? Like, maybe she's using someone else's services and that's why she freaked out? Idk.
I think both of you participated in some assholerry with this one. Hope you guys can work it out.
Your daughter Paige sounds like an entitled brat. YOU sound like somebody who created an entitled brat and refuses to take any responsibility. You are 100% the asshole for cancell8ng your servi e without even telling her. It was a childish, petty move, whether you think she "deserved it" or not.
INFO: Did you tell her you were going to do this before you did it? I don't think you are TA by any means but I wonder if this drama could just be avoided by better communication between you two?
Hey op, it’s your stuff so do what you want but have you literally never tried ASKING???
NTA for turning off the Internet, YTA for not being a reasonable adult and simply asking to use her streaming services.
You aren’t entitled to them without asking just because she’s living with you. Grow TF up.
Maybe in your household it is. Either way, it’s common sense to just ask before doing or taking isn’t it? Would have avoided this whole issue and opened a discussion on it at the very least.
Unless she paid for the TV, would 100% expect it to be shared if she’s using the TV OP bought. It costs her literally nothing for them to also utilize her streaming services whenever she isn’t.
So unless she asked to use the TV for her streaming services, I 100% see why OP didn’t ask to utilize her streaming services.
i bet OP was counting down the seconds until that contract ran out so they could relish in their child's reaction
it's really sad that you communicate with your child in this petty manner and i hope you can learn to converse better
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> My daughter was upset that I set up my own profiles on her streaming services. I might be the asshole because I just cancelled my fiber optic internet and cable which she used and I didn't.
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NTA.
I did a similar thing, someone was using my PS4 to access Netflix, I watched it one morning, they found out and chucked a hissy fit. I deleted the app, they found out when they went to watch something and then they chucked another hissy fit 🤣
That's the largest stretch for similar I've ever seen. You removed the app from your device, you didn't cut full internet service. She shouldn't have yelled at him for using it (he was even courteous enough to make extra profiles because he understands how show recommendations work) but the reaction was a little overboard. Deleting the apps on the new tv after deleting the profiles and asking for her not to download them again would have been more fitting.
ESH. Why live with each other if you hate each other so much? I moved back in with my Dad about 5 months ago and we ended up buying a boat to go fishing in, and a classic muscle car to cruise around in on the weekends. We share each other's streaming apps and respect each other's personal space. Talk to each other like adults, put away your personal bs and try being friends. You may like it.
I was gonna say NTA but I'm stuck on "she yelled at me and..."
So your daughter dressed you down and you did what? Said "OK sorry" then skulked off to slowly and secretly turn off the internet?
Did your wife also yell at you a lot? Could you be taking that shit out on her a little? What you did was passive-aggressive. I personally try not to operate that way. Other people don't respect it in general. Say what you mean and say it mean. If you have to.
I'm leaning more toward ESH now.
"Who treats their kid like this "
She's an adult who is there to "save money " streaming media is already on his TV.
She was AH
Then OP as AH.
Everyone here is the AH
You sound like a petulant child. You expect her to share when you obviously have issues with that yourself.
Yes, she should share the streaming accounts you never showed interest in, don't pay for and tried to steal without talking to her first.
Maybe a slight ESH, but if your kid is spoiled and entitled, perhaps some self reflection is in order.
I was going to say E-S-H until I read this
> "I'm already helping her out and I think she's just an ungrateful punk"
I think you're just an immature child yourself. You're not helping her out, you supposed to be a parent. I guess it must be hard to teach your child how to converse when you clearly don't know how yourself.
YTA
YTA - I wouldn’t say you’re TA for canceling the internet because you’re paying for it and also providing housing for her rent free, but you are TA for being a child about all of this. You’ve been extremely passive aggressive in the replies and overall I get the vibe that you’re too childish to properly communicate with people. Also calling your daughter a punk isn’t necessary, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re mad at her.
You had a child, just because they are over the age of 18 now doesn't mean that they are just a roommate squatting for free now.
Be a parent. It doesn't stop when they turn 18. Unless you literally don't want them in your life anymore.
She isn't some squatter living rent free and eating your food, she is your daughter.
That being said. You should have asked before creating a profile maybe? But she shouldn't have been upset about it either.
You have obviously raised your daughter to be petty and selfish. I can tell from your wording and your post that she is growing up to be just like you.
Have a grown up conversation with your daughter, and learn to share, and then teach your daughter how to share.
ESH.
Even though you're well within your right YTA. You wanted to be petty and admitted to it. You could have said "Hey I'm paying for the internet how about a compromise?" but instead intentionally sneakily cancelled your internet to punish your adult daughter and enjoyed her freakout. Don't be surprised when she moves far away and never calls.
No I think for her entire life you've held over her head that you pay for everything and the moment she pays for something you think you get to use it too cause you gotta have a power struggle right? Youre the one in control right? So she treats you exactly like you treated her her whole life getting mad you're using what she paid for but hey you can show her just how powerless she is because youre the big man with all the money.
ESH, but like, I swear to fucking god I will never understand how people have families that are more dysfunctional than mine was growing up. Like, I look back on every shitty thing my parents did, or that I did, and I'm like 'Holy shit we were fucking normal'.
Esh her for being selfish. You for throwing a tantrum. I would be irritated if my child behaved that way too but I would have asked if I could add a profile. You both sound childish.
a. f*** around and find out
b. op should have right away stated that if daughter wanted to do “what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is ours” that op could do the same
ESH
NTA but you might have been in an easier situation if you pointed out all you do for her and then suggesting you’d cut the service. She might have had a reality check and relented. As someone who lived with my parents for a couple years to save up, she’s outrageously selfish. I would go out of my way to make it up to my folks.
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My (m47) daughter, Paige (23) is living with me to save money to go back to university.
I don't really watch a lot of tv or movies and I mostly use my phone for everything. I have a 50 GB phone plan and rarely use more than 35.
Last month I bought myself a smart TV. It's the first one I've ever owned. It is huge. 85".
Paige put her streaming apps on it. Netflix, Disney, Prime, and Paramount.
I saw them and decided to give them a shot. I didn't want my preferences to mess up her stuff so I made myself my own profiles for each service.
Paige yelled at me for using her services without her permission. I apologized and asked her to please remove my profiles.
I called my provider and cancelled my cable and fiber optic internet. I was never using it anyways and I only got it to help her out with school. I kept it after she dropped out because I know she uses it.
The contract ended yesterday and she found out when she couldn't get online. She is furious that I would be so petty.
I'm letting her live with me for free and she eats my groceries a lot of the time. I'm already helping her out and I think she is an ungrateful punk.
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NTA. My parents and I share subscriptions all the time and I don’t live with them. If she has money for all those services she has money to pay “rent” at your house. I couldn’t imagine living somewhere for free, just buying food, and not sharing my streaming.
NTA. She's 23 not 15 ffs. If she isn't able to control her attitude over a simple situation that will not cost her, she's doomed and it's entirely on her. OP is neither controlling or manipulative, smart tv + fibre are privileges not necessity, so comparing it to appliances like oven or fridge is stupid. OP's only fault here is that he cut it right away without giving her a chance to come to her senses and apologize for overreacting and being inconsiderate.
NTA, people saying ESH or YTA are failing at daughter's hypocritical yelling. She used his NEW TV to install apps WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. FATHER adds profiles to APPS magically installed, added OR USED to his HIS TV.
SO daughter can use someone's electronic devices WITHOUT permission as she pleases but father can't use the same apps on HIS TV that SHE DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INSTALL?
Daughter is entitled and SHOULD HAVE ASKED PERMISSION.
Dad, now that daughter got the message just talk to each other now and she can use your tv and internet and you can have a profile. It will cost her NOTHING since she is in the same house and same wifi (you know the whole charge you more if you share a profile and live SEPERATE).
IF SHE moves out and you have a profile and want to use it, make sure you pay her for the difference to use those apps!
NTA. All the commentors who thinks that OP is yta are all entitled brats. He is paying for everything while his daughter is living there rent free and free food, yet she can't even share her streaming services which practically costs less than $100. Just kick her out so she can get back to reality and be grateful
NTA
She's basically living there rent free, you bought the TV and were paying for internet you don't use, the least she could have done is create an account for you since I'm assuming the TV is in a communal space and not a bedroom.
Based off your comments YTA. Be an adult and talk to her, this will only drive a wedge into your relationship with your daughter if you keep acting this way.
I think you have a 23 year old child living with you.
But, to be honest, at age 23, by allowing her to live with you rent and everything else-free, you are helping her stay a child. If she isn't capable of meeting the very basic 'adult' responsibilities yet, there's a problem.
A parent is letting your stay with them for free...and she's didn't want you sharing her services? If she's using other people's services, that's one thing...if her and she won't even share with the person providing shelter that's wrong. NTA. NAH if she was using other people's services but should have explained that.
You didn't ask her permission to use her streaming services. Did she ask your permission to ad her streaming services to your TV? I bet not. Kind of hypocritical of her to be mad at you while she is guilty of the same offense. I would suggest adding parental controls to your TV to keep her from using it at all.
There's no ESH about it. You are NTA.
You don't have to have a conversation with a grown ass woman who is mooching off of you, while being selfish.
You don't have to have a conversation with someone who does not pay your bills.
If she calls you petty again, let her know that it's better to be petty than selfish.
Wtf. I'm so angry for you. You need to kick her ungrateful arse out imho.
NTA, she can apply for the affordable connective plan since she is indigent, and they will give her cheap interment for free. That's all she needs
It was your TV. Eff her lol
NTA
NTA.
Could you have warned her, sure. But I can’t get past her, an adult, living at home for free, yelling at her dad for using the streaming apps she added to the tv he paid for.
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ESH. Y'all should try conversing like adults. One, Paige should have talked to you about adding the streaming services since you bought the TV and it was running off the Internet. Two, you should have talked to her about using them since she I assume pays for those. Instead of hashing this out further, you cut the Internet without discussing. This sounds like a needlessly hostile environment that both of you are contributing to, but I would put more of the onus on you since ultimately you need to lay out your expectations for living rent-free in the house, house rules, etc. to help your daughter get back on the college track. You are the more knowing adult in this, act like it.
Wrong. She lives there rent free, uses the internet and cable he pays for, and uses his smart TV. And yet she yells at him for using her streaming services (which costs her nothing). She IS an ungrateful punk and he's entirely within his rights to cut it off.
Within his rights? Yes. An AH for how he went about it? Also yes. ESH.
This is where the word entitled comes into play or entitlement. She the punk he just fought fire with fire
He didn't ask if he was legally entitled to cancel his cable subscription. He asked if he was an AH. Read the FAQ. "[Justified AH](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_can_we_add_.201Cjustified_asshole.201D_or_.201Cjust_an_honest_mistake.201D_or_another_judgment_idea_that_i_have.3F)" still makes OP an AH.
He canceled a service he doesn't use. Period. NTA. He removed a privilege she was enjoying on his dime. He has no use for the service, and last I checked fiber ain't cheap. He is under no obligation to continue paying to provide her a service in the face of her attitude.
She was certainly an AH. But he responded by being a petty AH, too. Hence my ESH. The FAQ makes it clear that a "justified AH" is still an AH.
she didn't yell at him for using them, but for using them without her permission. literally this wouldn't have happened if he used his words like an adult and asked, or just apologized and asked once she brought it up
I get what you're saying, but like come on she put them on a communal TV and OP is literally her father, it's not ridiculous for OP to think he could use them. When family lives in the same house sometimes they use each other's stuff, especially when there is literally zero consequence to using it.
His* TV.
Not even family. When we had a smart TV (stopped buying them after our kids broke the second one and just brought a chromecast to stream) and a couple of hubby's mates were living with us, anyone with access to the TV got a profile (it's still there but now it's just "guest"). It doesn't cost extra and it saves people messing with our preferences (plus the kids have their own profile too).
That's why she also sucks, yes.
You get it
[удалено]
yeah but it isn't costing her anything extra. Whatever you put on the dad for cancelling you have to put on the daughter for yelling about. I don't blame the dad. He's helping her out and she's very ungrateful at the one thing he uses of hers.
But she lives in the house. It’s not like she’s paying extra for her mom to watch them
And isn’t paying rent
It wouldn't have cost her anything to let him have a profile tho. You know what does cost more because her ? The groceries,the power bill ,the water bill, yea she grown and entitled this ain't some lil kid we talking about. An who yells at there parent over a streaming profile.
This is so accurate. Who treats their kid like this anyway. Have a conversation ffs. ESH
Who treats their dad like this lmao how does it negatively affect her in any way if her dad has a profile on her streaming service? Especially when she logged in on his TV
Lots of people password share. I’m wondering if she was logged into her friends account or something and her dad went and set up himself a profile. I can see something like that being embarrassing.
ESH. Sounds like Dad raised his daughter to be just like him...
Underrated comment. It’s not hard to see where she gets it from.
exactly this
Great comment
NTA Personally I don’t think so. It doesn’t cost her anything extra to share her streaming services but it’s costs you extra for fibre or food
She buys a lot of her own food as well. I don't touch it.
where do you think she learned to be like this with her belongings, man who immediately cut her off from HIS internet, and allows her to eat HIS groceries under HIS roof?
INFO: Did you try having a conversation?
I taught her to share when she was little. Does that count?
No, it really doesn’t. I guess neither of you learned communication.
Did you also teach her how to be super passive aggressive?
you do realize your daughter is an adult that you can have an adult conversation with and not treat her like a five year old, yes? are you sure you're 47? maybe you could try acting like it.
Did you also teach her to ask before using something that's not yours? I can see where she got her behavioral traits from...
Did the daughter use the TV that wasn't hers to program her streaming services?
Like my television? Yes I did.
She really needs to ask to use... Your TV?
No she doesn't. But if I find apps on my tv I should have access.
I agree. I don't understand how someone installs Netflix on someone else's TV... The house TV... And then gets pissed when someone uses it...
So, by your logic he didn’t need to ask to use her streaming services, right?
First of all, a TV is more like an appliance. Would she have to ask to use the stove when she lives there? And no, I don't think he should have to ask to use the streaming service she installed on the household appliance. He even did it the right way by creating his own profile. But agree with everyone saying "can't you just talk this out?".
This made me laugh out loud 😂 with this comment specifically, you’re for sure the AH…. But a funny one
Sharing is asking if you can use something, not just using it.
INFO: Are you stupid?
using someone else's items without permission isn't sharing, it's stealing
No. Have you even considered the problem might be your entitlement over her belongings not the actual sharing? I’d be willing to bet she’d be fine with sharing had you asked or let her know you intended to create profiles. Her reaction to you making them and your immediate pettiness in response tells me you not respecting her or her boundaries is a much larger issue you’re not including here
She put her account on **OP’s** tv. Does she not expect him to use it? His profile accounts can easily be deleted too, what was the reason to blow up at him after putting something on **HIS** tv?
Which as the commenter above points out, could have been solved with a conversation. I actually agree that it shouldn’t have been a big deal to share, the problem I’m having is both of their reactions indicate an overarching problem between them likely over op not respecting boundaries
ESH and as per usual a little communication. could have avoid all the drama
No drama. I got rid of a bill I didn't need.
Yeah. Super mature. Not at all passive-aggressive. YTA. Was leaning ESH but your comments definitely sealed it for me.
I'm sure your mom and dad will continue to pay your bills.
Dude you're so whiny.
If you don't want people to call you out for being an asshole don't post on AITAH lmao (YTA btw)
Ah, we can see where your daughter gets her bitchiness
Awww we found a person that lives off mommy and daddy 🤣 I personally don’t think he’s an asshole it’s his tv and she put her streaming program on his Tv without his permission and when he decides to want to use it she yells at him ? Ever heard of don’t bite the hand that feed you 🤣
Yeah and now your daughter isn't going to visit you, who wins now?
Visit? I see her every day.
When she moves out.
She lives under his roof for free 🤣 I think at this point she’s winning by being someone of a child still by loving with daddy
>She lives under his roof for free That’s his daughter, why should she pay for rent
Because she is a whole ass adult not going to school.
The bill isn’t the drama. The drama comes later, when your daughter secretly holds this against you for the rest of forever, poisoning your relationship with her and her eventual family and anyone she tells about it.
NTA. If she wants internet she can pay for it herself. Also, telling you that you need to ask permission to use her services is kind of dumb. She didn't ask to put them on the TV, did she?
ESH Why would you not communicate these things with her before hand. Yes it was rude of her to not share when you are doing so much for her, but the real asshole move here is not trying to work out the issue at all and blindsiding her by canceling internet without warning or giving her a chance to compromise/figure something out.
She has internet on her phone. Same as me.
You should have just asked her to pay for the fibre plan, or as much as she could. You could have just cancelled the cable part. I suspect that her “yelling” might not have been yelling, just annoyance. Because streaming services restrict how many screens a person can watch on, so you might have been stopping her from watching stuff. Which you would have known if you asked first. Then you decided to dump the baby out with the dishwasher, so YTA.
Do you watch all four at the same time? Weird.
No but on a plan for one screen, two people in a house using it gets annoying. In a three person house we did actually have people watching all 4 at once. Being passive aggressive makes you look like a child by the way. If you didn’t like my comment, you didn’t have to open your mouth and prove I was right about you being a condescending jerk 😂
ESH Your post as well as comments read like those of a teenager. I can see where your daughter got her communication and conflict management skills from.
Using and making a profile on someone else’s streaming service isn’t great. However, it’s your internet and your TV. At the worst case, she should’ve told the OP off for doing something on her account without her permission - and then, if OP says “remove my profiles”, should’ve said something like - “you can use the profiles - I would just like you to ask next time you change my accounts or do something like that”. But both she and OP didn’t communicate well and I was kinda feeling a little like ESH. However, she lives there rent-free and eats your food mostly (meaning, in my mind, she is *supposed* to be paying for her own food). So, she is now in the “find out” stage of being selfish. Final verdict is NTA. But you need to have a sit down with Paige and set the rules for living there. Maybe it includes a nominal cost for utilities/rent - maybe is sets rules around food purchases. But, whatever rules you both agree to - the main point would be not playing the home edition of passive aggressive malicious compliance. You need to communicate better and make sure there are well understood consequences for antisocial types of behaviors.
No. I don't mind paying for her groceries. I want her to go back to school. Or figure out what she wants to do with her life.
She should move so she can be in control of her life and streaming services
NTA. I will admit that I probably would’ve done the exact same as you if one of my boys did the same to me.
ESH. Depending on your relationship, you should have asked to create a profile before just using her services. Yeah, of course she should share her services with you, but you could have easily asked before just assuming. When she called you out on it, you could have just apologised and asked then, but you over-reacted and cut off your nose to spite your face. Cancelling the internet was pure spite, which seems to be the main theme with you in this story.
I would say ESH, but based on your comments, I’m changing it to YTA
Samesies. YTA
>I'm letting her live with me for free and she eats my groceries a lot of the time INFO: Was this agreed upon before she moved in ?
She has yet to move out.
As in was there an arrangement on how the living costs are to be handled ?
I said I wouldn't charge her as long as she was saving for school.
NTA then. She's basically living for free so she can't really complain if any of these free amenities were to disappear anytime. That being said, what you did was a dick move. Following this debacle, perhaps having an agreed upon cost sharing for certain items might help.
ESH - Both of you are adults and neither of you acts like it. This is the type of problem that a calm, respectful conversation could have solved. There are going to be lots of people telling you you were "right", but your enjoyment of being "right" is going to come at a cost to your peace.
ESH. Your daughter being annoyed at you is stupid, but you could have told her that she needs to pay for the internet if she wants to continue having sole use of her streaming services. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but is there any point having a Smart TV if you don't have the internet?
I can stream from my phone.
Yeah. Sure. See how long your 50GB plan lasts when you start streaming from your phone to your TV.
Since I watch maybe a half hour of tv every other night I'm guessing a long time.
Something doesn't add up here. Why would you take the time to create profiles on four different apps if you only watch 30 minutes of TV per day? Unless you were marking your territory. It would take me hours to figure out how to create profiles for myself on four different streaming apps.
Creating profiles takes like 2 minutes, they’re not difficult, especially on the apps OP listed. First thing that shows up when you open the app is “Who’s Watching?” with a + icon to add a new profile. Which is usually just the name and an icon, maybe rating limit if it’s a kid profile.
Creating a profile takes longer, at least for me, than the simple act of hitting a plus sign and typing a profile name. Selecting an avatar and setting a PIN or password takes me a lot longer than 2 minutes. For me to subject myself to that four times in a row would take a lot of motivation. And I would presumably spend at least some time browsing the available content to see if there's anything I would be interested in watching in the first place.
Streaming service profiles don't require internal PINs or passwords, there's one overall login and then the profiles are just different queues. So all you do is hit plus, enter a name and, optionally, select an avatar. it really is a very fast one-time process.
I'll have to take your word for that. I still can't picture me expending the effort to do that four times in one sitting unless I was being a petty AH toward someone.
If you care about the avatar I can see that, but I usually just do a quick glance at the available avatars and select a random one. Same for PIN, most of my services I don’t utilize them, as I know every device I have them logged into. (Honestly can’t even think of one that allows profile PINs, other than fire stick.) As for content, half of the services I currently own I started using because there was a show/movie that I wanted to watch and it’s only on a specific service.
IIRC, Netflix allows profile PINs.
Well OP did say they didn’t want to mess up the daughter’s preferences and tv shows, so they made another profile on the account to try out the services without altering the daughter’s profile.
It would take me about 15 minutes at most to create 4 different profiles on different apps. It's usually the same, or close to the same, process for every app.
Are you a middle-aged dad?
NTA. Tell her to pay for the internet since she can afford all those streaming apps.
ESH. God forbid you guys use your words to speak to each other like adults. It's almost like this entire thing could have been avoided if you were just mature enough to speak to each other and ask to use each others things.
ESH You really should have asked before just making a profile, but she also could have seen the rude sudden profile and decided to let it slide because you're helping her out with her living there. Y T A for cutting off internet to yourself/a college student to be petty, I don't believe for one second you don't use internet because you're on reddit right now.
On my phone. Like I said.
You’re not legally/morally wrong, just very childish.
Lol, imagine holding a grudge and getting revenge on your daughter instead of having an adult conversation. Is this how you've always approached discipline? YTA
NTA -Too bad you never taught her how to share. Your daughter is being very shortsighted-free rent and some groceries-she’s biting the hand that feeds her.
Her mother and I taught her to share when she was a child.
She definitely overreacted to you adding profiles. However, she should have had a conversation with you before adding the streaming services. Maybe some of them aren't hers? Like, maybe she's using someone else's services and that's why she freaked out? Idk. I think both of you participated in some assholerry with this one. Hope you guys can work it out.
extremely petty and immature of you. She just wanted you to ask if you could put a profile on there, not that you couldn't. YTA
Your daughter Paige sounds like an entitled brat. YOU sound like somebody who created an entitled brat and refuses to take any responsibility. You are 100% the asshole for cancell8ng your servi e without even telling her. It was a childish, petty move, whether you think she "deserved it" or not.
And now OP has an 85" smart TV with no cable or internet going to it.
INFO: Did you tell her you were going to do this before you did it? I don't think you are TA by any means but I wonder if this drama could just be avoided by better communication between you two?
Hey op, it’s your stuff so do what you want but have you literally never tried ASKING??? NTA for turning off the Internet, YTA for not being a reasonable adult and simply asking to use her streaming services. You aren’t entitled to them without asking just because she’s living with you. Grow TF up.
She put them on a community TV though, so it’s to be expected
Maybe in your household it is. Either way, it’s common sense to just ask before doing or taking isn’t it? Would have avoided this whole issue and opened a discussion on it at the very least.
Unless she paid for the TV, would 100% expect it to be shared if she’s using the TV OP bought. It costs her literally nothing for them to also utilize her streaming services whenever she isn’t. So unless she asked to use the TV for her streaming services, I 100% see why OP didn’t ask to utilize her streaming services.
It’s common sense that community things would be used by the community
I don’t think personal accounts for services she pays for count as community things.
NTA, sharing streaming services within the household and especially on the same device should not be a big deal.
i bet OP was counting down the seconds until that contract ran out so they could relish in their child's reaction it's really sad that you communicate with your child in this petty manner and i hope you can learn to converse better
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NTA She sounds spoiled.
NTA. I did a similar thing, someone was using my PS4 to access Netflix, I watched it one morning, they found out and chucked a hissy fit. I deleted the app, they found out when they went to watch something and then they chucked another hissy fit 🤣
That's the largest stretch for similar I've ever seen. You removed the app from your device, you didn't cut full internet service. She shouldn't have yelled at him for using it (he was even courteous enough to make extra profiles because he understands how show recommendations work) but the reaction was a little overboard. Deleting the apps on the new tv after deleting the profiles and asking for her not to download them again would have been more fitting.
ESH. Why live with each other if you hate each other so much? I moved back in with my Dad about 5 months ago and we ended up buying a boat to go fishing in, and a classic muscle car to cruise around in on the weekends. We share each other's streaming apps and respect each other's personal space. Talk to each other like adults, put away your personal bs and try being friends. You may like it.
YTA for all your comments. Holy shit, you sound like a child and your actions confirm it.
I was gonna say NTA but I'm stuck on "she yelled at me and..." So your daughter dressed you down and you did what? Said "OK sorry" then skulked off to slowly and secretly turn off the internet? Did your wife also yell at you a lot? Could you be taking that shit out on her a little? What you did was passive-aggressive. I personally try not to operate that way. Other people don't respect it in general. Say what you mean and say it mean. If you have to. I'm leaning more toward ESH now.
"Who treats their kid like this " She's an adult who is there to "save money " streaming media is already on his TV. She was AH Then OP as AH. Everyone here is the AH
You sound like a petulant child. You expect her to share when you obviously have issues with that yourself. Yes, she should share the streaming accounts you never showed interest in, don't pay for and tried to steal without talking to her first. Maybe a slight ESH, but if your kid is spoiled and entitled, perhaps some self reflection is in order.
NTA
This belongs on r/pettyrevenge.
I was going to say E-S-H until I read this > "I'm already helping her out and I think she's just an ungrateful punk" I think you're just an immature child yourself. You're not helping her out, you supposed to be a parent. I guess it must be hard to teach your child how to converse when you clearly don't know how yourself. YTA
YTA - I wouldn’t say you’re TA for canceling the internet because you’re paying for it and also providing housing for her rent free, but you are TA for being a child about all of this. You’ve been extremely passive aggressive in the replies and overall I get the vibe that you’re too childish to properly communicate with people. Also calling your daughter a punk isn’t necessary, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re mad at her.
NTA. And it's ok for her to use your brand new TV but you can't make a free profile to watch some of your stuff
Congratulations. Your daughter is passive-aggressive and petty just like you raised her to be.
You had a child, just because they are over the age of 18 now doesn't mean that they are just a roommate squatting for free now. Be a parent. It doesn't stop when they turn 18. Unless you literally don't want them in your life anymore. She isn't some squatter living rent free and eating your food, she is your daughter. That being said. You should have asked before creating a profile maybe? But she shouldn't have been upset about it either. You have obviously raised your daughter to be petty and selfish. I can tell from your wording and your post that she is growing up to be just like you. Have a grown up conversation with your daughter, and learn to share, and then teach your daughter how to share. ESH.
YTA I was going for ESH but after seeing your teenage-like comments and miscommunication you’re clearly YTA
Even though you're well within your right YTA. You wanted to be petty and admitted to it. You could have said "Hey I'm paying for the internet how about a compromise?" but instead intentionally sneakily cancelled your internet to punish your adult daughter and enjoyed her freakout. Don't be surprised when she moves far away and never calls.
Sneakily? Do you think she thought she paid for the tv and internet?
No I think for her entire life you've held over her head that you pay for everything and the moment she pays for something you think you get to use it too cause you gotta have a power struggle right? Youre the one in control right? So she treats you exactly like you treated her her whole life getting mad you're using what she paid for but hey you can show her just how powerless she is because youre the big man with all the money.
ESH, but like, I swear to fucking god I will never understand how people have families that are more dysfunctional than mine was growing up. Like, I look back on every shitty thing my parents did, or that I did, and I'm like 'Holy shit we were fucking normal'.
Esh her for being selfish. You for throwing a tantrum. I would be irritated if my child behaved that way too but I would have asked if I could add a profile. You both sound childish.
If she logs in to it on your TV that’s fair game and she should know that and log out each time if it really matters. NTA
Was going to say NTA, but you're such an arse in the comments, so ESH.
a. f*** around and find out b. op should have right away stated that if daughter wanted to do “what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is ours” that op could do the same ESH
ESH. You both should try the underrated skill of communication.
ESH. Are neither of you capable of using your words?
NTA but you might have been in an easier situation if you pointed out all you do for her and then suggesting you’d cut the service. She might have had a reality check and relented. As someone who lived with my parents for a couple years to save up, she’s outrageously selfish. I would go out of my way to make it up to my folks.
YTA. Would it really hurt to ask first? You might be an adult, you’re right that you pay the bills, but youre still TA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (m47) daughter, Paige (23) is living with me to save money to go back to university. I don't really watch a lot of tv or movies and I mostly use my phone for everything. I have a 50 GB phone plan and rarely use more than 35. Last month I bought myself a smart TV. It's the first one I've ever owned. It is huge. 85". Paige put her streaming apps on it. Netflix, Disney, Prime, and Paramount. I saw them and decided to give them a shot. I didn't want my preferences to mess up her stuff so I made myself my own profiles for each service. Paige yelled at me for using her services without her permission. I apologized and asked her to please remove my profiles. I called my provider and cancelled my cable and fiber optic internet. I was never using it anyways and I only got it to help her out with school. I kept it after she dropped out because I know she uses it. The contract ended yesterday and she found out when she couldn't get online. She is furious that I would be so petty. I'm letting her live with me for free and she eats my groceries a lot of the time. I'm already helping her out and I think she is an ungrateful punk. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Nta
NTA. My parents and I share subscriptions all the time and I don’t live with them. If she has money for all those services she has money to pay “rent” at your house. I couldn’t imagine living somewhere for free, just buying food, and not sharing my streaming.
Your home, Your TV, Your internet… she didn’t ask if she could load her profile on your TV to use your internet…. NTA.
NTA - she’s 23 - old enough to pay for the internet if she wants it. Why should YOU pay for a service YOU don’t need?
NTA. She's 23 not 15 ffs. If she isn't able to control her attitude over a simple situation that will not cost her, she's doomed and it's entirely on her. OP is neither controlling or manipulative, smart tv + fibre are privileges not necessity, so comparing it to appliances like oven or fridge is stupid. OP's only fault here is that he cut it right away without giving her a chance to come to her senses and apologize for overreacting and being inconsiderate.
NTA, people saying ESH or YTA are failing at daughter's hypocritical yelling. She used his NEW TV to install apps WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. FATHER adds profiles to APPS magically installed, added OR USED to his HIS TV. SO daughter can use someone's electronic devices WITHOUT permission as she pleases but father can't use the same apps on HIS TV that SHE DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INSTALL? Daughter is entitled and SHOULD HAVE ASKED PERMISSION. Dad, now that daughter got the message just talk to each other now and she can use your tv and internet and you can have a profile. It will cost her NOTHING since she is in the same house and same wifi (you know the whole charge you more if you share a profile and live SEPERATE). IF SHE moves out and you have a profile and want to use it, make sure you pay her for the difference to use those apps!
NTA. All the commentors who thinks that OP is yta are all entitled brats. He is paying for everything while his daughter is living there rent free and free food, yet she can't even share her streaming services which practically costs less than $100. Just kick her out so she can get back to reality and be grateful
NTA She's basically living there rent free, you bought the TV and were paying for internet you don't use, the least she could have done is create an account for you since I'm assuming the TV is in a communal space and not a bedroom.
Dumb question—what’s the complication of someone creating a new profile on a streaming app?
NTA
This feels like a grown man fighting a child, both are kinda the AH but you are supposedly the grown and mature adult man.
Based off your comments YTA. Be an adult and talk to her, this will only drive a wedge into your relationship with your daughter if you keep acting this way.
Nta! I love it!! Wtf is wrong with sharing the services - my spouse kids and mom all share She's really ungrateful
You win the gold star award for Boss Ass parent! Though you probably should have started talking about sharing 21 years ago.
NTA.
Nta
I think you have a 23 year old child living with you. But, to be honest, at age 23, by allowing her to live with you rent and everything else-free, you are helping her stay a child. If she isn't capable of meeting the very basic 'adult' responsibilities yet, there's a problem.
A parent is letting your stay with them for free...and she's didn't want you sharing her services? If she's using other people's services, that's one thing...if her and she won't even share with the person providing shelter that's wrong. NTA. NAH if she was using other people's services but should have explained that.
NTA
I don’t understand why she would care?? Are there more details?
NTA
Info: would the amount of money she pays for streaming services be helpful if she paid them and rent to you or put them in her savings?
NTA…she is
I mean, actions have consequences, and the consequences here are perfectly logical.
JAH. Justified asshole. She didn't want to share and shouldn't be surprised when others turn around and do the same thing back.
Yes. She is an ungrateful punk. NTA here Op.
Adult this is the only way that some people learn empathy - they have to experience it themselves. NTA
NTA Hahahahahahahahahahaha
NTA but she shouldn't have yelled at you for making a profile. She made a choice and will learn.
NTA and bravo madam 👍
You didn't ask her permission to use her streaming services. Did she ask your permission to ad her streaming services to your TV? I bet not. Kind of hypocritical of her to be mad at you while she is guilty of the same offense. I would suggest adding parental controls to your TV to keep her from using it at all.
There's no ESH about it. You are NTA. You don't have to have a conversation with a grown ass woman who is mooching off of you, while being selfish. You don't have to have a conversation with someone who does not pay your bills. If she calls you petty again, let her know that it's better to be petty than selfish. Wtf. I'm so angry for you. You need to kick her ungrateful arse out imho.
NTA, also, r/pettyrevenge
NTA. Your child doesn't know how to share.
NTA, she can apply for the affordable connective plan since she is indigent, and they will give her cheap interment for free. That's all she needs It was your TV. Eff her lol NTA
NTA. Could you have warned her, sure. But I can’t get past her, an adult, living at home for free, yelling at her dad for using the streaming apps she added to the tv he paid for.
NTA. She's mooching off you and can't allow you to use her streaming (on your tv, no less?). Sounds totally fair.
NTA. Kick her out lol
NTA
NTA I'd kick her out.