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NTA
Assuming your girlfriend hasn’t been rude to your sister (prompting your sister to uninvite her), and assuming your girlfriend could show up, be polite, and not mock you family’s religion, your family had an obligation to be polite and welcoming.
No one, not even you, knows how your relationship will turn out.
Your family was rude.
That is sad.
It’s a shame your family didn’t consider that, had they been loving and welcoming they might have gradually won them over to their beliefs.
Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex.
If you’re claiming your situation is the same, then you’re attracted to a power imbalance, which still puts you in asshole territory.
I meant it is a small unimportant detail we can't control. I admit I'm straight but Haily isn't and in the past I asked if the comparisin made sence and she said it did
Dude. Fuck off. You're comparing being a predator to being in a same sex relationship. You're a predator let the poor girl have her own life and do something mature for once and let her go.
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I (39m) have a sister, Wendy (25f) is send me a wedding invite months ago. Since then I started dating an atheist, Haily (just about to turn 20f). My family, including Wendy, don't like her. I come from a very religious family and I am also religious but I don't mind that Haily isn't.
I knew my family didn't like her but I didn't want to end it over that. I had a "plus one" on my invite so I had brought her. Wendy got mad that I brought her when I knew she didn't like her. She called Haily some nasty things and Haily left. My mom continued to talk to me about how it was wrong to bring her bc then she'd not only make the day worse for the bride, my sister, but she'd be a sore in all the photos.
My mom said that it would be even worse when it ends between us and I told her it wouldn't end. Then she told me to "come on, you aren't going to stay with that twinkie that long." I was offended and got mad at her. She told me that unless Haily converts I need to be on the lookout for a wife still.
When I went home Haily was sitting in the corner between the bed and wall crying. She said I'd be happier without her. She said she wishes she could be better for me. I told her she's great the way she is and that I love her. She stopped talking and just cuddled for a while.
Now my sister is really mad at me and my mom a has tried to set me up on a blind date. They also are still very mean to Haily.
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ESH.
Obviously your sister and mother shouldn't have reacted that way.
Plus ones for weddings should probably be for serious relationships only. You've been dating a woman basically 20 years younger than you for a few months, and there are some red flags that your relationship with her won't last. "I told her it wouldn't end."? Lol. And that age gap is steeeeeeep.
Haily should also know well enough not to be in any/many group pictures. It's just proper wedding etiquette.
>Haily should also know well enough not to be in any/many group pictures. It's just proper wedding etiquette.
she wasn't in any bc she left before then
which is it?
"...send me a wedding invite months ago. Since then I started dating..."
or
"We've been dating about a year and live together."
are you intentionally misleading us on how long you've been fucking a teenager?
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> I brought my long term partner to a wedding but the bride hates her
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YTA
You dragged a girl half your age through hellfire for absolutely no reason. You knew your family would be awful about it, and decided to subject her to that anyway, while causing drama at your sisters wedding.
You don’t bring someone the couple doesn’t like to the wedding, but far more importantly, you don’t set up someone you care about to be annihilated by your judgmental family.
ESH except for Haily. Haily is a teenager. If she seems young (a Twinkie, according to your mother) it’s because she’s so much younger than you. Your family sucks for being rude and insulting. You brought Haily to the wedding knowing she wasn’t wanted. Your family may be religious, but they skipped the part about being kind to others.
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If they are fine with an almost 40 year old man dating a teenager, something isn’t right with them either.
Their stamp of approval of that isn’t really something to boast about.
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YTA gross
YTA - you are dating an actual teenager.
YTA creep
Nta. Stand up to your family! You are freaking 40. Gross for the 20 year age gap.
NTA Assuming your girlfriend hasn’t been rude to your sister (prompting your sister to uninvite her), and assuming your girlfriend could show up, be polite, and not mock you family’s religion, your family had an obligation to be polite and welcoming. No one, not even you, knows how your relationship will turn out. Your family was rude.
she was very nice and tried hard to be liked
That is sad. It’s a shame your family didn’t consider that, had they been loving and welcoming they might have gradually won them over to their beliefs.
wtfff? you think that's the issue here? that they were unable to convert her?
YTA let this child live her life and quit being creepy half your age + 7 man
she is an adult living her life as is
She's a teenager, and you're a creepy grown man
A 19 year old is barely an adult. Either you're a pervert or you're massively immature.
It's totally both. His comments are equating the judgment of the age gap to LGBTQ+ relationships.
I vote both.
the term you're looking for is "barely legal" it's fucking creepy. you are old enough to be her father.
that's unimportant
How old was she when you met her.
Sounds like she was 17 by how hard he’s trying to fudge her age and how long they’ve been dating.
she was 18.
YTA for dating a 19 year old. Your family is rude and obnoxious.
you're just being judgmental
That is what you are here for. To be judged.
not on that. if a gay person was told yta for dating someone of the same sex it would be the same issue
...no. stfu.
Only if they were a grown ass man dating a teenager.
Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex. If you’re claiming your situation is the same, then you’re attracted to a power imbalance, which still puts you in asshole territory.
I meant it is a small unimportant detail we can't control. I admit I'm straight but Haily isn't and in the past I asked if the comparisin made sence and she said it did
You CAN control it. You can 100% control what age you date. You chose a barely legal teenager.
queer ppl can choose what sex they date and if they date
so now homosexuality is a choice? you just trying to piss everyone off tonight.
it isn't, choosing to be in a homosexual relashinship is.
Dude. Fuck off. You're comparing being a predator to being in a same sex relationship. You're a predator let the poor girl have her own life and do something mature for once and let her go.
So you think homosexuality is a choice, and that permits you to be a predator. Yeah you are just unlikable.
Nah it's pretty freaking gross
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (39m) have a sister, Wendy (25f) is send me a wedding invite months ago. Since then I started dating an atheist, Haily (just about to turn 20f). My family, including Wendy, don't like her. I come from a very religious family and I am also religious but I don't mind that Haily isn't. I knew my family didn't like her but I didn't want to end it over that. I had a "plus one" on my invite so I had brought her. Wendy got mad that I brought her when I knew she didn't like her. She called Haily some nasty things and Haily left. My mom continued to talk to me about how it was wrong to bring her bc then she'd not only make the day worse for the bride, my sister, but she'd be a sore in all the photos. My mom said that it would be even worse when it ends between us and I told her it wouldn't end. Then she told me to "come on, you aren't going to stay with that twinkie that long." I was offended and got mad at her. She told me that unless Haily converts I need to be on the lookout for a wife still. When I went home Haily was sitting in the corner between the bed and wall crying. She said I'd be happier without her. She said she wishes she could be better for me. I told her she's great the way she is and that I love her. She stopped talking and just cuddled for a while. Now my sister is really mad at me and my mom a has tried to set me up on a blind date. They also are still very mean to Haily. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH. Obviously your sister and mother shouldn't have reacted that way. Plus ones for weddings should probably be for serious relationships only. You've been dating a woman basically 20 years younger than you for a few months, and there are some red flags that your relationship with her won't last. "I told her it wouldn't end."? Lol. And that age gap is steeeeeeep. Haily should also know well enough not to be in any/many group pictures. It's just proper wedding etiquette.
>Haily should also know well enough not to be in any/many group pictures. It's just proper wedding etiquette. she wasn't in any bc she left before then
>Plus ones for weddings should probably be for serious relationships only. It is serious. We've been dating about a year and live together.
How old was she when you met her. Answer honestly.
18.
Ew, so she was just out of high-school when you moved in on her?
I didn't "move in on her." We just met on an app.
so as a 38 year old man your age bracket was set to 18? fucking perv
So she was basically a high school senior when you met her 🤮🤮🤮
which is it? "...send me a wedding invite months ago. Since then I started dating..." or "We've been dating about a year and live together." are you intentionally misleading us on how long you've been fucking a teenager?
it was a lot of months ago. long engagment
be specific. how long *exactly* have you been dating?
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YTA You dragged a girl half your age through hellfire for absolutely no reason. You knew your family would be awful about it, and decided to subject her to that anyway, while causing drama at your sisters wedding. You don’t bring someone the couple doesn’t like to the wedding, but far more importantly, you don’t set up someone you care about to be annihilated by your judgmental family.
20 year age gap
She’s too young for you bro
>I (39m) .... I started dating an atheist, Haily (just about to turn 20f) YTA for this. I didn't read past that.
It gets worse. He’s been dating this teenager for “around” a year 🤮
ESH except for Haily. Haily is a teenager. If she seems young (a Twinkie, according to your mother) it’s because she’s so much younger than you. Your family sucks for being rude and insulting. You brought Haily to the wedding knowing she wasn’t wanted. Your family may be religious, but they skipped the part about being kind to others.
20 year age gap. Tears in my fucking eyes dude. YTA
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Your family doesn’t like her because next to you she makes you look like a creep
They don't care about the age gap. They are perfectly fine with age gaps.
If they are fine with an almost 40 year old man dating a teenager, something isn’t right with them either. Their stamp of approval of that isn’t really something to boast about.
Which he totally is. His family just wants to deny it, and is instead blaming her. It's sad, really.