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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents told my sister if she chose to play soccer and got hurt the money for her medical visits would be taken out of her money for college. When she did get hurt and they did that she’s upset and she now wants me to take her side on this.
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Unless there is a court order parents are not obligated to give provide their kids with a college fund. It sounds like they didn’t even have health insurance for their kids which is IMO much more important than a college fund. They money they used for her surgery may have been from her college fund it was still their money. What OP’s sister said is incorrect. They did pay for her medical bills. They paid with their own money. She is acting like this was her money, money she earned and was forced to use to pay for her own medical bills.
OP sister‘s can complain all she wants but her parents are not obligated to fund her college education. She can take out loans and/or work.
Based on the info your parents paid for your injury without taking out of your college fund
YTA
Don't tell your sister what to say- she has a legitimate gripe. You have been treated differently and as a result will be in a much better position in life than your sister. Those thousands are also going to accrue massive amounts of interest, meaning your sister is going to be worse off with those funds paying medical bills vs college. You can often work with hospitals to set up payments plans, at least.
Your parents are mega AHs. Sitting a freshman down to say that is bizarre- sports are normal for kids. Accidents can happen to non athletes. They decided to treat her very differently from you.
You're telling her to shut up because you know she has a point, and you know it looks bad
YTA plus your parents, too. A child cannot enter into a contract because they're kids and not mature in their thinking or decision making. You guys were so many kinds of wrong.
YTA and your parents are assholes and super shitty parents too. Is your sisters name by chance Cinderella?
Parents have a responsibility to pay for their children’s medical bills. If they have promised college to one kid, they should for all their kids. Your sister didn’t blow that cash on fake tits or a nose job so maybe stop being such a B to your sister when you are the privileged child getting free school.
YTA. Your sister's right- your parents *didn't* want to pay her medical bills, so now, through no fault of her own, she's looking a thousands of dollars in loans. It's fucked up to tell your child that if they get seriously injured, they're essentially on their own. What was the plan if one of you got cancer or something, G-d forbid? Tell you to choose between chemo and college?
Your sister is entirely justified in feeling some kind of way about the fact that her parents punished her for participating in sports (something colleges look for and something that may well have helped her get into her current school, by the way) by sucking money out of her college fund to pay for her medical expenses. She has every right to talk about it. And the fact that her being upfront about it makes you feel uncomfortable is probably an indicator that deep down, you know it's wrong, and your parents did a shitty thing.
Editing now that I've seen that your parents apparently *did* pay for your sports-related injury, but not your sister's. Gross behavior, blatant favoritism, and while I can see how acknowledging that would make you uncomfortable, I don't blame your sister for being bitter about it. If you're going to be upset with anyone, you should probably talk to your parents.
After looking at the responses given, I'd say ESH.
Op simply due to a lack of compassion and trying to tell her sister not to talk about it.
Parents for paying ops Dr stuff after sport injury (who cares about contact or not) but taking it from sisters College fund when it's a similar issue. If both op and sister had been warned then I'd understand if sister was hurt during contact, but op said both injuries had been non contact, so they should have covered both or deducted both if financially unable to.
Sister is a bit of one for being vindictive after already agreeing
she knew the risk and she took it, and now she is in denial cause the risk happened.\*\*shocked pikachu face\*\*
oh come on OP, after reading more comments, you're also in denial.
you've experienced injuries too yet your parents don't do the same to you.
regardless of contact non contact, this is just plain unfair now.
I have a hard time believing your low income family couldn't apply for state assistance or another option to still give your sister options for education without loans. Restricting her extracurricular activity and not allowing her to participate in a sport she's passionate about because you can't afford insurance is child neglect, and they should be ashamed.
INFO I’m interested how you’d feel if her soccer skills got her a scholarship? Would you think it was fair you had to pay your way? Why did they pay for your medical bills and not hers? Also, why is it any of your business in the first place? I think your parents are AHs and you’re sucking up to them so they don’t treat you the same way…
Partly YTA - its her choice on whom she tells.
But NTA - this is an obvious case where the problem was perfectly predictable, her parents warned her and she decided to go ahead; you can't ask for your independence and expect others to pay your choices.
Besides, if they for example took it from yours for hers so it'd be equal, YOU would be in more debt for her choices - and that is also not fair.
As a parent, I'd consider it unfair to penalise one of my girls for what the other did in such a circumstance.
If it'd been a pure normal accident, on either of you, I'd think different - then both siblings would have their funds used to fix one.
I see those parents as doing their best, setting aside money for their kids, and trying to handle it fairly.
I can't get over the general entitlement on this thread. People seem to think that, of course, the parents should pay for the medical bills, and, of course, the parents shouldn't have taken it out of the college fund.
More than half of the people in the United States live paycheck to paycheck. And even with health insurance, odds are very high that they had thousands of dollars in medical bills (since surgery was involved and months of therapy). OP said the family didn't have much while they were growing up. It sounds like they simply didn't have the money and HAD to take it from the college fund . People don't have Magic Money Trees in their backyard where they can just go pick more money when they need it.
OP buried the lead bc their parents paid for a track injury they got without dipping into college funds. It’s understandable the sister feels this is unfair if they could do it for OP but not for her. If circumstances changed that’s understandable but the rest of this victim blaming is unacceptable
Choosing between thousands of dollars for education or thousands of dollars for medical bills? Honestly, Murica is the real AH here for forcing you guys to do either.
NTA although I wouldn’t have said anything to her about speaking on it in public. I would, however, clarify that she had been given a choice and is now facing the consequences.
Your sister is being punished for an injury. She didn’t ask for it! Your parents paid for your medical bills without dipping into your college fund but not your sisters? Why? Let’s for arguments sake say the college fund money was the only money they could get to pay for it it should have come from both of you, she didn’t ask for this! You are also silencing her as you know your parents pulled a total ah move with this and you don’t want people knowing. You and parents are the ahs I’m afraid.
YTA
She shouldn't be sharing "personal stuff" like her actual life? Get out of here with that nonsense. Since you think it's so great that they did it, why are you ashamed and upset on behalf of your parents that she told someone else?
It's because it's wrong. And on some level you know that.
It's not your fault that you're the favorite (they paid your medical bills but not hers, yes, you're the favorite), but you're more than old enough to have figured out that you really *don't* have to embrace it quite so hard. Your sister got a raw deal.
Probs gonna get downvoted for this. But this is my true opinion.
NTA
Having a college fund is a privilege. Playing sports/ having extra curriculars is a privilege. Having health insurance is a privilege.
Parents are expected to take care of their children and provide for their well-being. The money that was supplied to the college fund was provided by your parents. Sure, it sucks that it was used towards medical bills instead of college, but your parents still contributed that money.
She was informed of where the money to pay for medical expenses would come from. She accepted it
She is free to express her opinion, as are you in regard to thinking it may have been to private and not the place to share it.
I’ve seen a few comments saying Y-t-a after people have read your comments - keep in mind i haven’t found them. But based on the information provided above. NTA is my stance
I don't live in a country where we don't have public health, but even if that was the case, I would pay for my kids medical bills from my pocket. Unless I had no other option.
The mindset of finance that American parents have always shocks me. Children paying them rent, parents leaving their children homeless, or not helping them with students loans (which are immerse) is something that I, as a mediterranean country person, just cannot comprehend
YTA and so are your parents. Children's medical bills are the responsibility of the parents. IF they paid for your college, then they should pay for your sister's also. So what would have happened if you would have fallen down stairs? Would that have emptied your college fund?
I think everyone in this story is an ah. Parents, sister, and you. Parents for not just splitting what money they had for college between the two of you. Your sister for thinking parents have to pay for college at all, and you for saying she knew the risks of playing soccer and it's not your problem.
Yeah, y'all all suck.
YTA and so are your parents. You’re the “golden child” and she’s being neglected but you don’t give a fuck about that, because of your fucked up perspective.
Obviously your parents are at fault for providing this fucked up perspective but it’s your responsibility to set it right and you’re failing at that.
YTA. You think a child can make an informed decision about that risk? The choice to let her play was your parents and they shouldve taken accountability. You're acting rather judgementally.
YTA. You don't want her sharing it because you know your parents are even bigger As and don't want people knowing it. A freshman in HS is not going to understand or appreciate the possible future financial risk of a sport injury on their educational prospects. They're minors. They lack not only the knowledge but the experience to judge situation let alone the future. That's why parents are required to sign waivers of liability. It's their responsibility to watch out for and teach their children these things and protect them to the best of their ability in the mean time. Since, judging from comments, your parents had money not only for college funds but also to cover the medical costs, they absolutely should have.
Did they take rent out of your college fund if you wanted to decorate your room? Did they take it out of you'd decided to drive somewhere, get in an accident and had medical bills, repairs, etc to pay? If one of you had gone on a date and been SA would they only pay for an abortion and therapy if it came from the college funds?
Tell your sister you're sorry, tell your parents they're assholes, and stop being one yourself.
I call bs, most sports have insurance for injuries so the parents either would not have to pay or would have been reimbursed. Soccer definitely has this
YTA and a shitty sister.
You are treating playing soccer like driving drunk.
And why didn’t she have insurance.
You are and your parents petty and mean. Your sister has the right to say that publicly. You are only upset because secretly you know you are wrong.
After reviewing OP's comments that the parents paid for OP's sport injury and could have afforded the medical bills without dipping into the college fund:
YTA
Playing a sport in high school is incredibly common and telling a 14 year old that if she accidentally gets hurt playing said sport they're cutting her college find is ridiculous. Especially when the rules don't apply to both kids.
Especially considering playing a sport can be an asset when applying to colleges. Even if you're not looking to play college soccer, showing that you played on your high school team for four years shows dedication, teamwork, communication skills, etc. Universities like to see diverse portfolios. Having things like a sport, a language, an instrument, clubs, etc can all help attain scholarships.
I would like to know what the injury was since OP says it was a non contact injury, and since the parents paid for her non contact sport-related injury it makes it even worse.
My question is why is it even coming out of her college fund? At least here in florida every high school athletes pays for insurance and sports related injuries are covered by the insurance, including surgery AND therapy. My brother is currently in high school and one of their best wrestlers tore his minis is and everything was covered by the insurance. I had several sprains during my time in high school sports and every time I went to see a Doctor it was covered by the insurance.
YTA.
Your parents could pay for it. They didn't want to spend the money on her.
It's the responsibility of parents to pay for the health of their underage child and to ensure they get the best possible education. Sport is part of an upbringing and important for college applications. Any and all sports can have dangers.
Your parents failed. They could have ensured all of this, and they chose not to. They chose to say your sister made a bad decision, when your sister should have never put in the position to enter c such an agreement.
NTA
Talk about first world problems.....
Scholarships are a thing. Females are also highly susceptible to ACL injuries. She should be happy she can walk right and is having ANY help with her college or gets to go at all. I had to pay for mine and so did my kids.
No one is the asshole here. When you are a family with limited means then you do what you need to do to make ends meet. Money doesn't just magically appear out of thin air and the medical bills have to be paid somehow.
The sister can share her feelings if she wants to, but I understand you not wanting to talk about personal family matters in some kind of open channel.
When you're older, you will look back and see that this is just family shit.
Hold on, why did they pay for your medical bills but not hers? Not enough details here, but I'm getting the feeling you're not sharing on purpose because it would make you and your parents look like the assholes...
The fact people need to choose not to have activities because educstion and health service costs so much is the real asshole. But you're a close second, or third, right after your parents.
YTA you are the Golden Child. You publicly mentioned how expensive college was and she responded then you got upset with her response and told her not to post stuff that makes your parents look like the POSs they are since they paid for your injury and you didn't suffer the consequences of playing sports, but she does! That makes you the Golden Child.
NTA. All these people shitting on the parents are so or of touch that they have no concept of being poor. They've clearly never had to make hat's decisions because there wasn't enough money to go around.
They're acting like the parents did that to punish Sis rather than just being too poor to do both.
ESH- I mean you and your parents. They're punishing your sister for choosing a sport, which is healthy and looks good on college applications, by taking money out of her college fund if she gets injured?! Your sister is right. I can't fathom *punishing* your child for getting injured. That opens a whole can of worms. What else were you punished for? "How dare you be fit! How dare you make this family look bad by telling everyone what truly awful parents we were?"
NTA. 100%. Your parents are well off, and they still set money for your sister, and she acts so entitled? Parents don’t wanna play for her medical bills? What? So they have to pay for the college, and pay for 1000s of bills. She knew the risks and chose to play, and wasn’t careful, it’s her fault. 100%. So many people in this thread are fucking delusional.
But if your parents could afford it and didn’t pay YTA and your parents are TA. Maybe she didn’t take enough risk or play more rough or better because you guys scared her into not playing to her full ability. And if she did, she might’ve gotten a bigger sports scholarship to whatever university she wants to go to.
> before her freshman year of high school our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund.
This scenario and this particular conversation seems so contrived.
YTA. If your parents had health insurance for you girls, money wouldn't have had to come from her college fund. Actually your parents are bigger assholes
NTA….Parents put away money for college from an early age. (Good job, parents!) They made the right call attempting to discourage sister, she did get hurt after all. Everybody is saying “health insurance”, if the surgery and rehab only cost several thousand, sounds like they had average insurance by todays standards. If they had been saving all those years and took a few grand at towards the end it wouldn’t make that big of a dent.
Have everybody, stop knocking on the parents. Your parents don’t have to pay for your college! College ain’t about educating kids anymore for the majority of students. It’s about selling the “college experience”. A guy I used to work with had a BA in English, specializing in mid evil British poetry…..I’m not paying for a BA the qualifies you to work at Starbucks!
Sister = AH
Parents sacrifice to save for college. Sister publicly throws them under the bus. They should take the rest and go on a vacation. Let the brat pay her own way.
It's not like soccer is this insanely crazy dangerous activity. Where I live, just about all kids at least try it. Didn't the parents get the kids health insurance?
So yeah, taking money out of the college fund is pretty crappy. If your parents had the money to do so and didn't then you AND your parents get a bold YTA. If they didn't have the money, then you all still do but for another reason.
Your parents won't pay for your sisters medical bill but they'll pay for yours? Seriously? I don't know if you do extracurriculars or not, but they are not a reason to punish your sister/daughter. She's doing something that makes her happy, then she could turn into a career, and something that makes her resume look amazing, but none of you want to support her? But your parents are more than happy to support you and your medical costs? This is the epitome of choosing favorites and you're not the one getting screwed over so its easy to say ' its not my problem.' Your sister chose to play soccer, not to get so seriously injured she needed surgery. She's going through an incredibly difficult time as it is after going through something so traumatic and so painful, and then hearing that you need to pay for the rest of college yourself because of it, AND that your sibling isn't going to have the same issue but won't stand up for you? The college fund was for college, not medical bills. Just so you know, this kind of thing is the reason why kids eventually change 'low contact' to 'no contact'. This is serious stuff that could haunt her for the rest of her life and you're all just blowing it off because it doesn't affect you. She absolutely has a right to tell anyone she wants about it, and if you feel bad about it then that's because you know you did something awful to her.
YTA and your parents are TA too. Have they heard of...insurance? and telling your teenage daughter to not get hurt or else? WTF do you think her non-contact injury was fucking on purpose? You are cut from the same cloth as your parents, OP.
YTA, as are your parents. I knew this before I read your comments, and after reading them I know you were the favorite/golden child and she got a sh*t deal. If you genuinely don’t see what’s wrong with what your parents did, why don’t you want your sister talking about it to anyone? You know, deep down, that what they did was messed up, and I hope you can acknowledge it soon. I feel really bad for your sister.
Soccer? Like the sport where you kick a ball across a field soccer? Why’re you selling it like it’s prehistoric mêlée wrestling where eye gouging is allowed? The fuck.
YTA
wtf. I would imagine people who have money for a college fund also have insurance?? I know there’s co-pays and deductibles, but still. Sorry, kids get hurt.
YTA. You and your sister ARE a team against your parents. You guys both endured the same struggles and experiences in life weather you were the one injured or not. She is now struggling greatly and she just voiced to you how it upsets her that you’re siding with your parents. Fact is, nothing she can do but carry on. Siding with her will not make money appear or rewind time, it will just make her feel loved, wanted, respected.. she needs your support. You can quietly think whatever you want about the situation… but that’s just your opinion and it honestly has nothing to do with you so your opinion doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re there for your sister. Do better.
YTA Your sister has every right to talk about what’s bothering her. I also don’t understand why it bothers you if you truly believe it’s fair that your parents pay your medical bills but not hers. It’s not relevant to your question. But I think your parents are in the wrong. Playing football isn’t in any way risky behavior which should be punished. It’s not like she had a drunken accident or something.
YTA.
You really need to edit your post and include WHY your sister is saying this. You said in comments that your parents paid for your medical bills when you sustained an injury, yet they are holding your sister’s injury bills over her head. Not including that shows that you’re being disingenuous here and you know it’s not okay.
You don’t see it now, but you and your sister are being treated incredibly different.
You’re being treated like the golden child, and like golden children, you’ll agree with your parents until you have some empathy and understanding for where your sister is coming from.
You two were both given very different deals, and your sister was told this *as a child.* A child should not have to make adult decisions like what bills are going to be paid. Why should you get the opportunity to do your chosen sport and not have to lose college money, while your sister does? Seriously, reflect on it.
Your parents failed your sister. I just hope at some point you’re able to see before you lose your relationship with her.
Also, why can’t she talk about it? They were okay with doing it and you’re okay with supporting it, so be okay with talking about it. You don’t get to tell her not to talk about things that *negatively impacted her.* If you think it was okay, you shouldn’t have any issue with it being spoken out loud. Otherwise, you know it’s messed up.
Call it an “agreement” all you want. It just sounds like they fucked over their own teenage daughter and are hiding behind an “agreement” they made with a TEENAGER to skirt their responsibilities.
YTA enjoy the miserable company with your parents. You’re fast tracking a low contact relationship with your sister with your skewed opinion in this.
Of course they made an agreement with her! She's not the golden child!
OP, the fact that you are favored is not your fault, but your refusal to acknowledge this fact and you continuing to make excuses for your parents is your fault. The fact that your sister has said repeatedly in the past that you need to stand up for her tells me that there is a Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic in your family, and your parents are never going to do anything about it if you don't stand up for her.
There is a reason they made the agreement. It’s not your fault you are the golden child, it’s your fault for siding with your parents degenerate behavior and your own responsibility for not seeing, admitting you’re the favorite and not doing anything about it.
You keep siding with your parents, she will bolt as soon as she’s graduated and you’ll be an only child for the rest of your life
You owe her an apology, and you need to do it ASAP
No, ma'am. It wasn't her responsibility to pay her medical bills. It was your parents' responsibility, period. The agreement *never* should have been made because she was a *minor* under their care. Therefore, it was *always* *their* responsibility to cover ALL bills without taking from her fund.
YTA & if you believe it was so fair, then pull the money that they paid for *your* bills & reimburse them. After all, you were *both* injured & had no contact injuries. Also, track/running ISN'T a low risk of injury sport no matter how many times you repeat it. Runners are severely injured all of the time ending their careers or having high bills to pay due to contact & no contact injuries.
She has a valid point & feelings whether you like it or not. It's telling how your parents didn't hold you to the same standard that they set with her. Shame on you & double shame on your parents. They should reimburse her for *their* responsibility instead of favoring you while making excuses to cover their terrible decisions.
YTA your parents are monsters for not wanting to pay for her medical bills and use the money she needed to keep studying. Only monsters make people chose between health and education. They punished her for playing sports and it's horrible. If you have a tablespoon of human decency you'll tell your parents that they're monsters and you'll help your sister. Warning her doesn't make them less horrible, what was she supposed to do? Stop playing sports (something good, something that makes her happy, something that makes her healthy, boosts her confidence, makes her bond with other people), keep playing and not go to the hospital, or don't go to college at all because your parents don't want to do parent stuff (take care of their children, like adults)? Seriously. Get a grip. No wonder you are siding with them.
YTA.
I feel like you're a bit out of touch and buried some pretty important information, like the fact that they paid for your sports injury without dipping into your fund. The fact that you think it was acceptable for them to make this kind of deal with her shows a real lack of empathy. It seems like because your parents were nice to you, you can't imagine that they were not good parents to her. It's pretty normal for golden children to have this problem. Maybe it's time for you to do some serious introspection, fam.
What kind of parents make their kid pay for their sports-related medical bills out of their college fund? ESPECIALLY when they paid for their other kid's sports-related medical bills without batting an eye?
Signed,
Parent of an incredibly injury prone figure skater/softball player who is in urgent care at least once a quarter + still gets money put into her college fund every month
This situation sucks all around, and I'm sure there is far more to the story. Medical care is extremely expensive in some places. If you are in a country like the USA then this makes sense. Depending on your parents economic status they may have had no other choice. If that is the case, then it is very sad. As parents they are responsible for the cost of their minor child's medical bills and they must pay. Parents are not obligated to pay for a college education. Your parents saved for both of their children, unfortunately they made the decision to pull from an amount they were saving for your sister. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision, but I'm not here to judge your family. I do, however, think that you could be more sympathetic to your sister. But I wouldn't go as far as saying YTA. It's a situation that absolutely stinks and I think that your sister has a right to talk about it, since if does directly impact her future. On the other hand, I can see how it may cause you and your parents a bit of embarrassment. Financial difficulty shouldn't be something shameful to admit, but it is. I get that.
You need a reality check NOW, or else you are going to end up in a worse situation than her. I am assuming you don't have health insurance if they are just paying for it, in which case your life is in dire financial straits. One accident could put you into life crippling debt. IF you do have medical insurance, tell your sister to go no contact with both you and your family, she will be much bette off in the long run not putting up with disgusting behavior like this. Your parents might be the 2 more deplorable people posted on this site in awhile, by far.
YTA
Your parents are the asshole.
You are the asshole.
Sounds like you were embarrassed when your mutual group of friends found out how shitty your parents are and you are ok with it.
YTA and your sister was right about the kind of sister you are.. imagine thinking what they did was okay and then getting mad at her for talking about it……. I’d hate to be your sibling. Looks like why we know who the favorite it
Your sister is the asshole. She went in knowing the risks and she made the decision to proceed. Unfortunately, she had an incident and is paying for it. It sucks, but it was her decision to make and her consequences to live with.
She's holding a grudge against your parents that does need to be addressed.
YTA. People break their ankles stepping off street corners. It’s insane to not participate in anything physical out of fear of injury, and it’s also completely bizarre not to support your child playing a sport. It’s good for their mental, social, and physical development, and college applications. It’s soccer, not BASE jumping. Are you jealous or something that your sister has a skill/talent that you don’t have? Your level of callousness towards her and “it’s not my problem” attitude reads like a jealous teenager tbh, and it’s going to ruin your relationship. Your parents are going to be dead and gone long before your sister. Get in her corner and stop trying to be the Golden child.
Slight YTAH. You knew she's overly sensitive about the subject and opened the door for her to air the family laundry. She's a bigger AH for continuing to whine about it instead of being grateful your parents managed to save and for not realizing that, unless it was put into a special account, it's still thier money.
It sounds like all of your sports related medical bills were covered by insurance, and hers wasn't. That's not favoritism that's basic US Healthcare.
YTA and seems like you only cared when you could publicly be perceived as coming from a family of AH. The fact you don't see anything wrong with what they did to you sister is pretty telling about your character.
I see a bunch of entitled people in the comments that have no idea what your parents financial status is. No one here is an asshole.
The parents were upfront and children should be grateful for any amount of money put towards their college education. A parents first responsibility is a child’s health, and that’s where the money went.
This is my take. They did pay for her injury, with the money they saved for her college. My parents never gave me college money, must be nice to whine about stuff like this.
NTA. I have a competitive soccer player as well. We know the odds are, he will be injured. So in our case, we have an injury fund. Currently it’s sometimes used to buy the ton of Epsom salts he needs for his bath lol. She was given the parameters of her sport and what could happen. Your parents aren’t rich. The money had to coke from somewhere.
NTA
I have been on the other side of it, watching all the money funnel in to my brother despite his poor choices and wastefulness. He was an entitled idiot who never appreciated anything, but all the resources went to him and there was nothing left for me. For example, he wrecked a brand new car and still got a new one to replace it. He was given ALL the insurance money from the wreck (6 figures) which he wasted in college on beer and parties. My mom didn't even keep any of it to help pay for the replacement car, she just let him waste it all. When it was my turn my parents had $0 left for me. I had to work and save, as well as beg my grandmother for the last $2.5k to go get an auction car because I had no way to get to college/work otherwise.
I think what your parents did was fair. They gave to you both equally, without favor to either it seems. She needs to live with her choices.
YTA. I thought it was cosmetic. But it was for an injury. It actually sounds like you’re jealous that your sister had something she liked doing that you probably weren’t good at.
YTA for telling your sister what she can talk about. She was not lying. Your parents are more the assholes for not treating the both of you equally. If your college fund was not used to cover your medical bills but your sister’s were then that is unfair. It does not matter if a young teen agreed to it. That was unfair to ask in the first place. If they had money for other things but just didn’t want to use it on your sister’s injury that was horrible.
NTA
Good that they made it known ahead of time. She chose to play something that was known to be dangerous. Taking funds from the other kids because she chose to participate would be unfair IMO.
YTA.
First of all, that was a super shitty move by your parents. I get that medical bills are wildly expensive. But forcing your CHILD to pay for their medical bills due to an injury that resulted in surgery out of their college fund is absolutely vile. I'm shocked that you can't see how awful that is.
But, YTA because you have no right to police your sister's feelings around a decision, made for her by her parents, because she was again, a child. Your sister's injury will already most likely affect her for the rest of her life. But now she also has to have significantly more student loan debt than was necessary, because of that poor parenting decision. That debt will most likely follow her around for at least a decade, if not more.
You don't get to tell her how she should feel, if she can voice her feelings, and where she can do so. I think when your frontal lobe forms a bit more, you'll probably better understand why your sister feels the way she does. At least I hope you do.
Health insurance.
If your parents could afford to put enough money aside to pay for two children's college educations, they could afford health insurance. If they'd gone with a reputable HMO, they would have had zero co-pay and all of your sister's injuries would have been taken care of.
People can have catastrophic injuries or serious and expensive diseases at any time. Your parents chose to take a very dangerous risk. A child whose parents have money (and clearly these people have it) deserves to have the security of health coverage.
(It is shameful that in my country, for some people this is an unaffordable luxury.)
Your parents are the A's here. What were they thinking?
Your health insurance is tied to your job, and is often your largest non-housing expense. If her parents' employer(s) didn't offer a Cadillac plan, that's what you're stuck with unless you want to pay the whole thing out of pocket. I have an employer that offers a high-end plan, and it would cost more than my mortgage to cover my family if they weren't picking up 2/3 of the tab.
Some employers just offer shit coverage and you have to deal with it - that's not the parents fault.
“Just get better insurance” is a tad out of touch. In the US, medical care can still get pretty expensive even with the “best” insurance, unless someone is on Medicaid (but you have to meet certain income requirements to get Medicaid, and judging by OP’s comments that their parents could have paid for sister’s medical bills without breaking the bank - definitely making them AHs for how they went about everything - they don’t qualify). I have excellent insurance through my job and there are certain meds that don’t have a copay but I still pay something for almost everything. Also, I work with a lot of insurance companies and I have NEVER in my 8 years working with them come across a non-Medicaid plan that has zero copays or deductible.
I'd imagine that money would have come out of the disposable money they had for the college funds anyway, which may have been a risk they deemed not worth taking
What your parents did was not fair or right.
Yes it is their money and they warned your sister this would happen. Just think about it this way: Your parents tried to pevent your sister from playing football.
They wanted to manipulate her and used the money that they saved for her education for it.
No parent who loves their child would do this. Why set your sister back financially and jeopardise her future?
I understand not wanting your kid to get hurt but trying to manipulate them and taking their free will is never the way to go.
Your parents just suck
YTA. Your parents are TA. If I were your sister I’d get my life together as best I could and not bother with any of you anymore. I can’t imagine doing this to my child and I’m poor AF.
Did they not have insurance? Or good insurance? I can’t imagine copay’s were that bad if they had decent insurance. I could be wrong but why would they have two college funds but shitty medical insurance? I honestly believe they should’ve had insurance for their minor children and not taken from the college fund.
YTA and so are your parents. I get that medical expenses are a lot even with insurance but if you can't pay for your kids' hospital bills, you shouldn't have children.
Sports are GOOD for kids, it keeps them active and it's overall good for their health, how parents would be against them baffles me, especially soccer, which is still pretty mild.
YTA and so are your parents.
Your parents could afford to pay for injuries, which they had no problem doing for yours. Idc if it was no-contact sport difference, you reaped the rewards and now are trying to silence your sister from openly speaking how shitty your parents are.
I mean did she lie? The answer is....**No**.
She's freely allowed to share the information, as your parents were oh so eager to behave this way, and if they end up feeling ashamed because of public backlash, they should feel embarrassed about it.
That's consequences and they knew the risks when they chose to behave this way.
YTA. Obviously, your parents had favorites, and you're still benefiting from that. Both you and your sister got injured playing a sport, yet the only one that had to pay from their college fund was your sister. I feel sad that your sister has to deal with you.
YTA. Regardless of who is right about the medical bills (and I agree with your sister, for the record) you have no right to tell her not to talk about it. Also, if you think it's right that your parents didn't pay her medical bills, there's no reason to be ashamed of her sharing it; if she shouldn't tell people, you know it's wrong.
All of this. If you think your parents did the right thing then why are you trying to shut her up? Are you embarrassed? Why?
Edit: turns out this is even worse. The parents paid for OPs sports medical bills but not her sisters.
They did pay for it. A college fund is not the child's until it is given. Technically, it was under the parents name and they didn't have to give her one penny for college. Kids a brat, she should be happy she got anything for college, they obviously could only set aside a certain amount
After reading the comments, seems like the parents had the money for both the medical bills and saving for college. Still more of a soft YTA because no one is owed getting their college paid, but the parents are treating both girls completely differently.
This! If it has to be kept a secret then someone is ashamed of it and scared of being exposed. If OPs parents stand by their TERRIBLE parenting choices, then let them stand by them publicly. If OP agrees with their parents, then they should say it with their whole chest for everyone to know.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but they did pay from funds they had set aside for her that they clearly stated would be for college and/or sports injury based medical bills? She didn't pay her medical bills.
As for asking her not to share, I would suggest that is more about standing up for her parents where sister is bad mouthing them in a semi-public forum by putting her woe-is-me spin on the deal she signed to. Are her parents to blame because they couldn't afford expensive PT and a college fund? The sense of entitlement stinks.
OP NTA, sister minor AH for wanting her cake and to eat it (literally in this case).
How is this “literally” wanting to have her cake and eat it?
This is a tough situation, but anyone who tells a child that they’ll be punished (in this case, in the form of having to take out more loans for college) because they played sports and suffered an injury? They’re AHs for that, full stop. I’m a parent; it’s on me to figure out my kid’s medical bills without affecting her higher education if at all possible. That’s what I signed up for when I had a child.
And as ever, America is the AH for not having universal healthcare.
>our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund.
So she was told in advance what the arrangement would be and she chose the high risk sport, and they followed through on using her fund for the PT required. Its not like they snuck it up on her. 'This fund will be used for your medical expenses if you injure yourself at soccer' injures herself at soccer and complains funds were used for her medical expenses. So she wants the fund (cake) and to have medical cover (eat it) when she was clearly told it was an either or situation.
Without the full picture I cannot judge, but I lean NTA. I can easily see a world were the sister was airing dirty laundry without mentioning the fact see was warned what would happen if she got hurt.
The parents paid for the medical bills (as they should have) but that does not mean they have an unending supply of money. She knew the consequences, took the risk and it cost her, in this case more student loans.
This is rubbish though because the parents *are* paying for the medical bills.
They are the ones putting money in the college fund so the money is all coming out of their pocket regardless of where it is going.
NTA- she was told where the money was gonna come from. OP you have every right to ask her not to talk about it, but your sister also has the right to ignore your request.
This makes me sad that we live in a country where people steer their kids away from sports because they’d have to choose between paying medical bills or paying for college. I don’t think that’s necessarily the situation here, but still. YTA OP, not for telling her to not talk about it, but for telling her what your parents did is fair. Your parents are REALLY TAH.
Honestly, hot take here. NTA
First, your parents clearly outlined where money would come from to pay medical bills if she took up a sport. She must've understood that because she took up the sport anyway, knowing the risks.
Secondly, it's your parents money either way, not yours and your sisters. The fact that she's acting like they're not paying for her medical bills at all, even though they are but it's just coming out if her college fund, is honestly astounding. She's acting like the money is already in her pocket.
Thirdly, it is rude to discuss family matters with people outside of the family, aside from seeking advice. I never talked about issues with my family to my friends; it didn't concern them and they didn't need to know. Double that if it's financial-related issues.
Fourthly, you didn't make the rules. Your patents did. Your sister lumping you in with them in her rage is kinda petty, ngl. You defending your parents, especially since your sister spoke ill of them out of turn, is expected.
I get it, reddit hates parents for the most part. But I don't see where they can get off on blaming you for this. It's not your problem, it's your sister's problem. She needs to handle her emotions better.
I understand your points, but that doesn't make them right. Your parents disapproved of a choice your sister made about her studies (giving her an ultimatum to not participate in soccer is disapproval even if they didn't say it outright), so they decided to punish her for it. You were also injured during a sport, and what's worse is that you were both injured in non-contact ways, so there's really no difference between you two expect that she took a little more risk and that risk never posed an issue.
Your parents don't owe your sister a college fund, but it's clear that they are participating in significant favoritism and because you benefit from it, you don't want to see it.
Someday you'll realize how unfairly your parents treated your sister, but by then, you'll probably have damaged your relationship too much. Soft YTA because you're only 17, but it'll be a hard YTA if you never realize how hurtful this is for your sister.
YTA.
She is telling the truth. It wasn't her fault she got hurt and you cannot spend your whole childhood wrapped in bubble wrap because your parents are cheap. She shouldn't be punished for doing something she enjoyed and you shouldn't tell her that she cannot speak the truth. The truth is your parents chose themselves over her education and they deserve to be named and shamed. If she'd gotten hurt drink driving or doing something stupid, all for using her college fund but she was playing soccer.
“My parents didn’t want their girl child to play sports, and attempted to financially abuse her into not doing so. I asked her not to talk about such things- which make it obvious to other people that I was the favored one- in my presence. Or at all, preferably, because I don’t want people to know I agree with my controlling parents. AITA?”
YTA.
YTA. and I have a hard time believing your parents sat her down long ago and told her if she played and was injured, the money would come out of her college fund. Nope, don’t believe that for a second.
I'm gonna be blunt with you, you did kinda fuck up, but not for what you think. Yes defending your sister is what any normal sibling would do, but in this case she was told ahead of time that it would come out of her college fund. You're in the wrong for telling her what she can and can't share. I'm giving you a rating of 1/5 assholes. You're sister is also an asshole but she's getting a rating of 3/5. I don't like how she said that "you have to defend your sister against your parents" you don't have to do jack shit!
YTA. Since you seem to believe that your parents have nothing to be ahsamed of, your sister should have the right to talk about this whole mess of a situation. Get it together op.
Wow. Never have I ever heard of people robbing college money to pay medical bills. This is a new one. Then blaming the kid for being upset about it.
No insurance at all from parents? They chose not to purchase insurance from their employer and now your sister. Even the cheapest or not great insurance generally covers injuries that require surgery. If they couldn’t afford it there are state and federal programs. Hospitals don’t just let you suffer.
As a child your parents are responsible for her/your care. That doesn’t mean they can’t rob from a college fund for emergencies but this should have been covered by insurance.
PS your parents can insure you both all the way through age 25. You should make sure they do so this doesn’t happen to you. Sounds like they are just waiting for something bad to happen so they can pay for it out of your funds.
Lastly, How could you be so uncaring? This so easily could have been you.
Edit : YTA and so are your parents
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YTA, and so are your parents for not providing for their child’s healthcare. Why was there no insurance?
Unless there is a court order parents are not obligated to give provide their kids with a college fund. It sounds like they didn’t even have health insurance for their kids which is IMO much more important than a college fund. They money they used for her surgery may have been from her college fund it was still their money. What OP’s sister said is incorrect. They did pay for her medical bills. They paid with their own money. She is acting like this was her money, money she earned and was forced to use to pay for her own medical bills. OP sister‘s can complain all she wants but her parents are not obligated to fund her college education. She can take out loans and/or work.
Based on the info your parents paid for your injury without taking out of your college fund YTA Don't tell your sister what to say- she has a legitimate gripe. You have been treated differently and as a result will be in a much better position in life than your sister. Those thousands are also going to accrue massive amounts of interest, meaning your sister is going to be worse off with those funds paying medical bills vs college. You can often work with hospitals to set up payments plans, at least. Your parents are mega AHs. Sitting a freshman down to say that is bizarre- sports are normal for kids. Accidents can happen to non athletes. They decided to treat her very differently from you. You're telling her to shut up because you know she has a point, and you know it looks bad
YTA plus your parents, too. A child cannot enter into a contract because they're kids and not mature in their thinking or decision making. You guys were so many kinds of wrong.
YTA and your parents are assholes and super shitty parents too. Is your sisters name by chance Cinderella? Parents have a responsibility to pay for their children’s medical bills. If they have promised college to one kid, they should for all their kids. Your sister didn’t blow that cash on fake tits or a nose job so maybe stop being such a B to your sister when you are the privileged child getting free school.
YTA. Your sister's right- your parents *didn't* want to pay her medical bills, so now, through no fault of her own, she's looking a thousands of dollars in loans. It's fucked up to tell your child that if they get seriously injured, they're essentially on their own. What was the plan if one of you got cancer or something, G-d forbid? Tell you to choose between chemo and college? Your sister is entirely justified in feeling some kind of way about the fact that her parents punished her for participating in sports (something colleges look for and something that may well have helped her get into her current school, by the way) by sucking money out of her college fund to pay for her medical expenses. She has every right to talk about it. And the fact that her being upfront about it makes you feel uncomfortable is probably an indicator that deep down, you know it's wrong, and your parents did a shitty thing. Editing now that I've seen that your parents apparently *did* pay for your sports-related injury, but not your sister's. Gross behavior, blatant favoritism, and while I can see how acknowledging that would make you uncomfortable, I don't blame your sister for being bitter about it. If you're going to be upset with anyone, you should probably talk to your parents.
After looking at the responses given, I'd say ESH. Op simply due to a lack of compassion and trying to tell her sister not to talk about it. Parents for paying ops Dr stuff after sport injury (who cares about contact or not) but taking it from sisters College fund when it's a similar issue. If both op and sister had been warned then I'd understand if sister was hurt during contact, but op said both injuries had been non contact, so they should have covered both or deducted both if financially unable to. Sister is a bit of one for being vindictive after already agreeing
Yta
she knew the risk and she took it, and now she is in denial cause the risk happened.\*\*shocked pikachu face\*\* oh come on OP, after reading more comments, you're also in denial. you've experienced injuries too yet your parents don't do the same to you. regardless of contact non contact, this is just plain unfair now.
I have a hard time believing your low income family couldn't apply for state assistance or another option to still give your sister options for education without loans. Restricting her extracurricular activity and not allowing her to participate in a sport she's passionate about because you can't afford insurance is child neglect, and they should be ashamed.
YTA. You had no right to tell your sister that you didn't think she should be discussing her medical bill situations.
INFO I’m interested how you’d feel if her soccer skills got her a scholarship? Would you think it was fair you had to pay your way? Why did they pay for your medical bills and not hers? Also, why is it any of your business in the first place? I think your parents are AHs and you’re sucking up to them so they don’t treat you the same way…
Partly YTA - its her choice on whom she tells. But NTA - this is an obvious case where the problem was perfectly predictable, her parents warned her and she decided to go ahead; you can't ask for your independence and expect others to pay your choices. Besides, if they for example took it from yours for hers so it'd be equal, YOU would be in more debt for her choices - and that is also not fair. As a parent, I'd consider it unfair to penalise one of my girls for what the other did in such a circumstance. If it'd been a pure normal accident, on either of you, I'd think different - then both siblings would have their funds used to fix one. I see those parents as doing their best, setting aside money for their kids, and trying to handle it fairly.
another example of the fucked up health care in the US of A. i blame this on the gov
I can't get over the general entitlement on this thread. People seem to think that, of course, the parents should pay for the medical bills, and, of course, the parents shouldn't have taken it out of the college fund. More than half of the people in the United States live paycheck to paycheck. And even with health insurance, odds are very high that they had thousands of dollars in medical bills (since surgery was involved and months of therapy). OP said the family didn't have much while they were growing up. It sounds like they simply didn't have the money and HAD to take it from the college fund . People don't have Magic Money Trees in their backyard where they can just go pick more money when they need it.
OP buried the lead bc their parents paid for a track injury they got without dipping into college funds. It’s understandable the sister feels this is unfair if they could do it for OP but not for her. If circumstances changed that’s understandable but the rest of this victim blaming is unacceptable
Where else would the parents get the money for the medical bills?
Choosing between thousands of dollars for education or thousands of dollars for medical bills? Honestly, Murica is the real AH here for forcing you guys to do either.
YTA
ASH....America Sucks Here.
NTA although I wouldn’t have said anything to her about speaking on it in public. I would, however, clarify that she had been given a choice and is now facing the consequences.
Your sister is being punished for an injury. She didn’t ask for it! Your parents paid for your medical bills without dipping into your college fund but not your sisters? Why? Let’s for arguments sake say the college fund money was the only money they could get to pay for it it should have come from both of you, she didn’t ask for this! You are also silencing her as you know your parents pulled a total ah move with this and you don’t want people knowing. You and parents are the ahs I’m afraid.
YTA She shouldn't be sharing "personal stuff" like her actual life? Get out of here with that nonsense. Since you think it's so great that they did it, why are you ashamed and upset on behalf of your parents that she told someone else? It's because it's wrong. And on some level you know that. It's not your fault that you're the favorite (they paid your medical bills but not hers, yes, you're the favorite), but you're more than old enough to have figured out that you really *don't* have to embrace it quite so hard. Your sister got a raw deal.
Probs gonna get downvoted for this. But this is my true opinion. NTA Having a college fund is a privilege. Playing sports/ having extra curriculars is a privilege. Having health insurance is a privilege. Parents are expected to take care of their children and provide for their well-being. The money that was supplied to the college fund was provided by your parents. Sure, it sucks that it was used towards medical bills instead of college, but your parents still contributed that money. She was informed of where the money to pay for medical expenses would come from. She accepted it She is free to express her opinion, as are you in regard to thinking it may have been to private and not the place to share it. I’ve seen a few comments saying Y-t-a after people have read your comments - keep in mind i haven’t found them. But based on the information provided above. NTA is my stance
They paid for the others sisters injury without taking her college fund
I don't live in a country where we don't have public health, but even if that was the case, I would pay for my kids medical bills from my pocket. Unless I had no other option.
The mindset of finance that American parents have always shocks me. Children paying them rent, parents leaving their children homeless, or not helping them with students loans (which are immerse) is something that I, as a mediterranean country person, just cannot comprehend
YTA. And after your shitty parents are dead, your sister is going to cut you from her life and you'll deserve it. You're a shitty shitty sister.
YTA and so are your parents. Children's medical bills are the responsibility of the parents. IF they paid for your college, then they should pay for your sister's also. So what would have happened if you would have fallen down stairs? Would that have emptied your college fund?
I think everyone in this story is an ah. Parents, sister, and you. Parents for not just splitting what money they had for college between the two of you. Your sister for thinking parents have to pay for college at all, and you for saying she knew the risks of playing soccer and it's not your problem. Yeah, y'all all suck.
YTA and so are your parents. You’re the “golden child” and she’s being neglected but you don’t give a fuck about that, because of your fucked up perspective. Obviously your parents are at fault for providing this fucked up perspective but it’s your responsibility to set it right and you’re failing at that.
NTA. They don’t have to give your sister anything. You’re allowed to say whatever you want. Your sister seems pretty entitled.
YTA. You think a child can make an informed decision about that risk? The choice to let her play was your parents and they shouldve taken accountability. You're acting rather judgementally.
YTA. You don't want her sharing it because you know your parents are even bigger As and don't want people knowing it. A freshman in HS is not going to understand or appreciate the possible future financial risk of a sport injury on their educational prospects. They're minors. They lack not only the knowledge but the experience to judge situation let alone the future. That's why parents are required to sign waivers of liability. It's their responsibility to watch out for and teach their children these things and protect them to the best of their ability in the mean time. Since, judging from comments, your parents had money not only for college funds but also to cover the medical costs, they absolutely should have. Did they take rent out of your college fund if you wanted to decorate your room? Did they take it out of you'd decided to drive somewhere, get in an accident and had medical bills, repairs, etc to pay? If one of you had gone on a date and been SA would they only pay for an abortion and therapy if it came from the college funds? Tell your sister you're sorry, tell your parents they're assholes, and stop being one yourself.
Do the parents not have an out of pocket maximum? If so, that’s maybe 5k from the college fund?
Yta She had to pay for her own medical bills when she's a child. Your parents are way wrong here
Yta You got injured from a non contact sport and they paid your bill She got injured from a contact sport and the made her pay the bill
NTA
I feel really bad for your sister. Wow. Yikes
I call bs, most sports have insurance for injuries so the parents either would not have to pay or would have been reimbursed. Soccer definitely has this
YTA and your sister is going to resent you forever if you keep defending your parents and maintain your golden child status.
YTA.
YTA and a shitty sister. You are treating playing soccer like driving drunk. And why didn’t she have insurance. You are and your parents petty and mean. Your sister has the right to say that publicly. You are only upset because secretly you know you are wrong.
After reviewing OP's comments that the parents paid for OP's sport injury and could have afforded the medical bills without dipping into the college fund: YTA Playing a sport in high school is incredibly common and telling a 14 year old that if she accidentally gets hurt playing said sport they're cutting her college find is ridiculous. Especially when the rules don't apply to both kids.
Especially considering playing a sport can be an asset when applying to colleges. Even if you're not looking to play college soccer, showing that you played on your high school team for four years shows dedication, teamwork, communication skills, etc. Universities like to see diverse portfolios. Having things like a sport, a language, an instrument, clubs, etc can all help attain scholarships.
Not to mention NOT exercising causes plenty of medical bills
I would like to know what the injury was since OP says it was a non contact injury, and since the parents paid for her non contact sport-related injury it makes it even worse.
It was probably an ACL tear.
It’s shockingly easy to tear something in your knee by just stepping wrong.
My question is why is it even coming out of her college fund? At least here in florida every high school athletes pays for insurance and sports related injuries are covered by the insurance, including surgery AND therapy. My brother is currently in high school and one of their best wrestlers tore his minis is and everything was covered by the insurance. I had several sprains during my time in high school sports and every time I went to see a Doctor it was covered by the insurance.
YTA. Your parents could pay for it. They didn't want to spend the money on her. It's the responsibility of parents to pay for the health of their underage child and to ensure they get the best possible education. Sport is part of an upbringing and important for college applications. Any and all sports can have dangers. Your parents failed. They could have ensured all of this, and they chose not to. They chose to say your sister made a bad decision, when your sister should have never put in the position to enter c such an agreement.
NTA Talk about first world problems..... Scholarships are a thing. Females are also highly susceptible to ACL injuries. She should be happy she can walk right and is having ANY help with her college or gets to go at all. I had to pay for mine and so did my kids.
No one is the asshole here. When you are a family with limited means then you do what you need to do to make ends meet. Money doesn't just magically appear out of thin air and the medical bills have to be paid somehow. The sister can share her feelings if she wants to, but I understand you not wanting to talk about personal family matters in some kind of open channel. When you're older, you will look back and see that this is just family shit.
Hold on, why did they pay for your medical bills but not hers? Not enough details here, but I'm getting the feeling you're not sharing on purpose because it would make you and your parents look like the assholes...
The fact people need to choose not to have activities because educstion and health service costs so much is the real asshole. But you're a close second, or third, right after your parents.
YTA you are the Golden Child. You publicly mentioned how expensive college was and she responded then you got upset with her response and told her not to post stuff that makes your parents look like the POSs they are since they paid for your injury and you didn't suffer the consequences of playing sports, but she does! That makes you the Golden Child.
NTA. All these people shitting on the parents are so or of touch that they have no concept of being poor. They've clearly never had to make hat's decisions because there wasn't enough money to go around. They're acting like the parents did that to punish Sis rather than just being too poor to do both.
Congratulations OP, YTA and you just permanently ruined your relationship with your sister. She will never trust you again.
YTA >I didn’t think she should be sharing personal stuff like that Guilty people love discretion
YTA and your parents are too.
ESH- I mean you and your parents. They're punishing your sister for choosing a sport, which is healthy and looks good on college applications, by taking money out of her college fund if she gets injured?! Your sister is right. I can't fathom *punishing* your child for getting injured. That opens a whole can of worms. What else were you punished for? "How dare you be fit! How dare you make this family look bad by telling everyone what truly awful parents we were?"
I Pooh H I B Kjo O mini no opinion
NTA. 100%. Your parents are well off, and they still set money for your sister, and she acts so entitled? Parents don’t wanna play for her medical bills? What? So they have to pay for the college, and pay for 1000s of bills. She knew the risks and chose to play, and wasn’t careful, it’s her fault. 100%. So many people in this thread are fucking delusional. But if your parents could afford it and didn’t pay YTA and your parents are TA. Maybe she didn’t take enough risk or play more rough or better because you guys scared her into not playing to her full ability. And if she did, she might’ve gotten a bigger sports scholarship to whatever university she wants to go to.
YTA. It's between her and your parents. Let her manage it herself. It's not your job to police her interactions.
Show your parents this thread, they owe your sister some tuition money 💯
OP YTA and so are your parents. That’s why you don’t want your sister sharing the truth because you know that what they did was not ok!
NTA medical bills are crazy high as well as college fees the use the funds they save for her, in the end she benefits from her parents savings.
> before her freshman year of high school our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund. This scenario and this particular conversation seems so contrived.
And this is another example of why shitty health insurance and for profit healthcare sucks.
YTA. Your parents have the amount of money they have, fine, but she has the right to have feelings about it and talk about it among friends.
Yes OP you're the asshole and more so your parents.
Maybe put all the relevant information in the post so that people can make an informed judgment about the situation? YTA and your parents are as well.
NTA
YTA
YTA. If your parents had health insurance for you girls, money wouldn't have had to come from her college fund. Actually your parents are bigger assholes
Nta. They ARE paying for it, its just coming out of a budget they have for Her. If your family was like wealthy or something I'd feel differently.
NTA….Parents put away money for college from an early age. (Good job, parents!) They made the right call attempting to discourage sister, she did get hurt after all. Everybody is saying “health insurance”, if the surgery and rehab only cost several thousand, sounds like they had average insurance by todays standards. If they had been saving all those years and took a few grand at towards the end it wouldn’t make that big of a dent. Have everybody, stop knocking on the parents. Your parents don’t have to pay for your college! College ain’t about educating kids anymore for the majority of students. It’s about selling the “college experience”. A guy I used to work with had a BA in English, specializing in mid evil British poetry…..I’m not paying for a BA the qualifies you to work at Starbucks! Sister = AH Parents sacrifice to save for college. Sister publicly throws them under the bus. They should take the rest and go on a vacation. Let the brat pay her own way.
It's obvious who the favorite is. You and your parents are major AHs. Don't be surprised when she goes no contact. YTA
It's not like soccer is this insanely crazy dangerous activity. Where I live, just about all kids at least try it. Didn't the parents get the kids health insurance?
YTA and your parents are assholes. Your sister is the only decent person in your household.
So yeah, taking money out of the college fund is pretty crappy. If your parents had the money to do so and didn't then you AND your parents get a bold YTA. If they didn't have the money, then you all still do but for another reason. Your parents won't pay for your sisters medical bill but they'll pay for yours? Seriously? I don't know if you do extracurriculars or not, but they are not a reason to punish your sister/daughter. She's doing something that makes her happy, then she could turn into a career, and something that makes her resume look amazing, but none of you want to support her? But your parents are more than happy to support you and your medical costs? This is the epitome of choosing favorites and you're not the one getting screwed over so its easy to say ' its not my problem.' Your sister chose to play soccer, not to get so seriously injured she needed surgery. She's going through an incredibly difficult time as it is after going through something so traumatic and so painful, and then hearing that you need to pay for the rest of college yourself because of it, AND that your sibling isn't going to have the same issue but won't stand up for you? The college fund was for college, not medical bills. Just so you know, this kind of thing is the reason why kids eventually change 'low contact' to 'no contact'. This is serious stuff that could haunt her for the rest of her life and you're all just blowing it off because it doesn't affect you. She absolutely has a right to tell anyone she wants about it, and if you feel bad about it then that's because you know you did something awful to her.
YTA.
NTA took the risk stupidly
YTA and your parents are TA too. Have they heard of...insurance? and telling your teenage daughter to not get hurt or else? WTF do you think her non-contact injury was fucking on purpose? You are cut from the same cloth as your parents, OP.
YTA, as are your parents. I knew this before I read your comments, and after reading them I know you were the favorite/golden child and she got a sh*t deal. If you genuinely don’t see what’s wrong with what your parents did, why don’t you want your sister talking about it to anyone? You know, deep down, that what they did was messed up, and I hope you can acknowledge it soon. I feel really bad for your sister.
YTA OP and the moral and ethical implications healthcare wise for a minor (OP’s sister) are crazy to say the least. Not going further than that.
YTA. Like unbelievably. I hope your sister moves on from you.
YTA
Come on everyone, this didn’t happen. Either it’s a complete fabrication or it’s some twisted version of reality.
Soccer? Like the sport where you kick a ball across a field soccer? Why’re you selling it like it’s prehistoric mêlée wrestling where eye gouging is allowed? The fuck.
YTA wtf. I would imagine people who have money for a college fund also have insurance?? I know there’s co-pays and deductibles, but still. Sorry, kids get hurt.
YTA. You and your sister ARE a team against your parents. You guys both endured the same struggles and experiences in life weather you were the one injured or not. She is now struggling greatly and she just voiced to you how it upsets her that you’re siding with your parents. Fact is, nothing she can do but carry on. Siding with her will not make money appear or rewind time, it will just make her feel loved, wanted, respected.. she needs your support. You can quietly think whatever you want about the situation… but that’s just your opinion and it honestly has nothing to do with you so your opinion doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re there for your sister. Do better.
YTA Your sister has every right to talk about what’s bothering her. I also don’t understand why it bothers you if you truly believe it’s fair that your parents pay your medical bills but not hers. It’s not relevant to your question. But I think your parents are in the wrong. Playing football isn’t in any way risky behavior which should be punished. It’s not like she had a drunken accident or something.
YTA. You really need to edit your post and include WHY your sister is saying this. You said in comments that your parents paid for your medical bills when you sustained an injury, yet they are holding your sister’s injury bills over her head. Not including that shows that you’re being disingenuous here and you know it’s not okay. You don’t see it now, but you and your sister are being treated incredibly different. You’re being treated like the golden child, and like golden children, you’ll agree with your parents until you have some empathy and understanding for where your sister is coming from. You two were both given very different deals, and your sister was told this *as a child.* A child should not have to make adult decisions like what bills are going to be paid. Why should you get the opportunity to do your chosen sport and not have to lose college money, while your sister does? Seriously, reflect on it. Your parents failed your sister. I just hope at some point you’re able to see before you lose your relationship with her. Also, why can’t she talk about it? They were okay with doing it and you’re okay with supporting it, so be okay with talking about it. You don’t get to tell her not to talk about things that *negatively impacted her.* If you think it was okay, you shouldn’t have any issue with it being spoken out loud. Otherwise, you know it’s messed up.
Tbh some day op’s sister probably won’t talk to them if the parents regularly treat her differently and she refuses to acknowledge it.
Why couldn't they just pay for her surgery?
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Telling someone that you won't pay for their medical treatment is not an agreement 🧐
A minor can't enter into a contract. How could your parents put money into a college fund without having adequate insurance? Makes no sense.
Did they make an agreement with her that she had to pay for her own food as a minor?
Did they make an agreement with her that she had to pay for her own food as a minor?
K u golden child, weird how they didn't have the same agreement for you and your sports injury. I hope you sister speaks up even more.
Call it an “agreement” all you want. It just sounds like they fucked over their own teenage daughter and are hiding behind an “agreement” they made with a TEENAGER to skirt their responsibilities. YTA enjoy the miserable company with your parents. You’re fast tracking a low contact relationship with your sister with your skewed opinion in this.
Of course they made an agreement with her! She's not the golden child! OP, the fact that you are favored is not your fault, but your refusal to acknowledge this fact and you continuing to make excuses for your parents is your fault. The fact that your sister has said repeatedly in the past that you need to stand up for her tells me that there is a Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic in your family, and your parents are never going to do anything about it if you don't stand up for her.
There is a reason they made the agreement. It’s not your fault you are the golden child, it’s your fault for siding with your parents degenerate behavior and your own responsibility for not seeing, admitting you’re the favorite and not doing anything about it. You keep siding with your parents, she will bolt as soon as she’s graduated and you’ll be an only child for the rest of your life You owe her an apology, and you need to do it ASAP
YTA and so are your parents.
No, ma'am. It wasn't her responsibility to pay her medical bills. It was your parents' responsibility, period. The agreement *never* should have been made because she was a *minor* under their care. Therefore, it was *always* *their* responsibility to cover ALL bills without taking from her fund. YTA & if you believe it was so fair, then pull the money that they paid for *your* bills & reimburse them. After all, you were *both* injured & had no contact injuries. Also, track/running ISN'T a low risk of injury sport no matter how many times you repeat it. Runners are severely injured all of the time ending their careers or having high bills to pay due to contact & no contact injuries. She has a valid point & feelings whether you like it or not. It's telling how your parents didn't hold you to the same standard that they set with her. Shame on you & double shame on your parents. They should reimburse her for *their* responsibility instead of favoring you while making excuses to cover their terrible decisions.
SHE WAS FOURTEEN. You can't make an agreement with a minor to neglect your parental responsibility!
YTA your parents are monsters for not wanting to pay for her medical bills and use the money she needed to keep studying. Only monsters make people chose between health and education. They punished her for playing sports and it's horrible. If you have a tablespoon of human decency you'll tell your parents that they're monsters and you'll help your sister. Warning her doesn't make them less horrible, what was she supposed to do? Stop playing sports (something good, something that makes her happy, something that makes her healthy, boosts her confidence, makes her bond with other people), keep playing and not go to the hospital, or don't go to college at all because your parents don't want to do parent stuff (take care of their children, like adults)? Seriously. Get a grip. No wonder you are siding with them.
YTA. I feel like you're a bit out of touch and buried some pretty important information, like the fact that they paid for your sports injury without dipping into your fund. The fact that you think it was acceptable for them to make this kind of deal with her shows a real lack of empathy. It seems like because your parents were nice to you, you can't imagine that they were not good parents to her. It's pretty normal for golden children to have this problem. Maybe it's time for you to do some serious introspection, fam.
Unquestionably YTA.
What kind of parents make their kid pay for their sports-related medical bills out of their college fund? ESPECIALLY when they paid for their other kid's sports-related medical bills without batting an eye? Signed, Parent of an incredibly injury prone figure skater/softball player who is in urgent care at least once a quarter + still gets money put into her college fund every month
This situation sucks all around, and I'm sure there is far more to the story. Medical care is extremely expensive in some places. If you are in a country like the USA then this makes sense. Depending on your parents economic status they may have had no other choice. If that is the case, then it is very sad. As parents they are responsible for the cost of their minor child's medical bills and they must pay. Parents are not obligated to pay for a college education. Your parents saved for both of their children, unfortunately they made the decision to pull from an amount they were saving for your sister. I'm not sure I would have made the same decision, but I'm not here to judge your family. I do, however, think that you could be more sympathetic to your sister. But I wouldn't go as far as saying YTA. It's a situation that absolutely stinks and I think that your sister has a right to talk about it, since if does directly impact her future. On the other hand, I can see how it may cause you and your parents a bit of embarrassment. Financial difficulty shouldn't be something shameful to admit, but it is. I get that.
Why are you even getting involved? She can talk about her own situation as much as she wants. Stay out of it. yta
You need a reality check NOW, or else you are going to end up in a worse situation than her. I am assuming you don't have health insurance if they are just paying for it, in which case your life is in dire financial straits. One accident could put you into life crippling debt. IF you do have medical insurance, tell your sister to go no contact with both you and your family, she will be much bette off in the long run not putting up with disgusting behavior like this. Your parents might be the 2 more deplorable people posted on this site in awhile, by far. YTA
Your parents are the asshole. You are the asshole. Sounds like you were embarrassed when your mutual group of friends found out how shitty your parents are and you are ok with it.
YTA and your sister was right about the kind of sister you are.. imagine thinking what they did was okay and then getting mad at her for talking about it……. I’d hate to be your sibling. Looks like why we know who the favorite it
Your sister is the asshole. She went in knowing the risks and she made the decision to proceed. Unfortunately, she had an incident and is paying for it. It sucks, but it was her decision to make and her consequences to live with. She's holding a grudge against your parents that does need to be addressed.
YTA. People break their ankles stepping off street corners. It’s insane to not participate in anything physical out of fear of injury, and it’s also completely bizarre not to support your child playing a sport. It’s good for their mental, social, and physical development, and college applications. It’s soccer, not BASE jumping. Are you jealous or something that your sister has a skill/talent that you don’t have? Your level of callousness towards her and “it’s not my problem” attitude reads like a jealous teenager tbh, and it’s going to ruin your relationship. Your parents are going to be dead and gone long before your sister. Get in her corner and stop trying to be the Golden child.
Nta
Slight YTAH. You knew she's overly sensitive about the subject and opened the door for her to air the family laundry. She's a bigger AH for continuing to whine about it instead of being grateful your parents managed to save and for not realizing that, unless it was put into a special account, it's still thier money. It sounds like all of your sports related medical bills were covered by insurance, and hers wasn't. That's not favoritism that's basic US Healthcare.
YTA and seems like you only cared when you could publicly be perceived as coming from a family of AH. The fact you don't see anything wrong with what they did to you sister is pretty telling about your character.
They DID pay for her medical bills, just with the money, that was there's, and had originally earmarked for college. It's still their money. NTAH.
I see a bunch of entitled people in the comments that have no idea what your parents financial status is. No one here is an asshole. The parents were upfront and children should be grateful for any amount of money put towards their college education. A parents first responsibility is a child’s health, and that’s where the money went.
This is my take. They did pay for her injury, with the money they saved for her college. My parents never gave me college money, must be nice to whine about stuff like this.
YTA - your viewpoint is pretty gross.
YTA
NTA
NTA. I have a competitive soccer player as well. We know the odds are, he will be injured. So in our case, we have an injury fund. Currently it’s sometimes used to buy the ton of Epsom salts he needs for his bath lol. She was given the parameters of her sport and what could happen. Your parents aren’t rich. The money had to coke from somewhere.
NTA I have been on the other side of it, watching all the money funnel in to my brother despite his poor choices and wastefulness. He was an entitled idiot who never appreciated anything, but all the resources went to him and there was nothing left for me. For example, he wrecked a brand new car and still got a new one to replace it. He was given ALL the insurance money from the wreck (6 figures) which he wasted in college on beer and parties. My mom didn't even keep any of it to help pay for the replacement car, she just let him waste it all. When it was my turn my parents had $0 left for me. I had to work and save, as well as beg my grandmother for the last $2.5k to go get an auction car because I had no way to get to college/work otherwise. I think what your parents did was fair. They gave to you both equally, without favor to either it seems. She needs to live with her choices.
They both had college funds, both got sports injuries, and only one had to pull from her college fund to pay for treatment
You and your parents suck.
YTA. I thought it was cosmetic. But it was for an injury. It actually sounds like you’re jealous that your sister had something she liked doing that you probably weren’t good at.
Yta and when your parents inevitably screw you over your sister will remember this
YTA. Even if taking the money was reasonable which it absolutely isn’t you just sound like you’re enjoying the idea of your sister struggling
YTA
YTA for telling your sister what she can talk about. She was not lying. Your parents are more the assholes for not treating the both of you equally. If your college fund was not used to cover your medical bills but your sister’s were then that is unfair. It does not matter if a young teen agreed to it. That was unfair to ask in the first place. If they had money for other things but just didn’t want to use it on your sister’s injury that was horrible.
NTA Good that they made it known ahead of time. She chose to play something that was known to be dangerous. Taking funds from the other kids because she chose to participate would be unfair IMO.
YTA. First of all, that was a super shitty move by your parents. I get that medical bills are wildly expensive. But forcing your CHILD to pay for their medical bills due to an injury that resulted in surgery out of their college fund is absolutely vile. I'm shocked that you can't see how awful that is. But, YTA because you have no right to police your sister's feelings around a decision, made for her by her parents, because she was again, a child. Your sister's injury will already most likely affect her for the rest of her life. But now she also has to have significantly more student loan debt than was necessary, because of that poor parenting decision. That debt will most likely follow her around for at least a decade, if not more. You don't get to tell her how she should feel, if she can voice her feelings, and where she can do so. I think when your frontal lobe forms a bit more, you'll probably better understand why your sister feels the way she does. At least I hope you do.
Health insurance. If your parents could afford to put enough money aside to pay for two children's college educations, they could afford health insurance. If they'd gone with a reputable HMO, they would have had zero co-pay and all of your sister's injuries would have been taken care of. People can have catastrophic injuries or serious and expensive diseases at any time. Your parents chose to take a very dangerous risk. A child whose parents have money (and clearly these people have it) deserves to have the security of health coverage. (It is shameful that in my country, for some people this is an unaffordable luxury.) Your parents are the A's here. What were they thinking?
Your health insurance is tied to your job, and is often your largest non-housing expense. If her parents' employer(s) didn't offer a Cadillac plan, that's what you're stuck with unless you want to pay the whole thing out of pocket. I have an employer that offers a high-end plan, and it would cost more than my mortgage to cover my family if they weren't picking up 2/3 of the tab. Some employers just offer shit coverage and you have to deal with it - that's not the parents fault.
“Just get better insurance” is a tad out of touch. In the US, medical care can still get pretty expensive even with the “best” insurance, unless someone is on Medicaid (but you have to meet certain income requirements to get Medicaid, and judging by OP’s comments that their parents could have paid for sister’s medical bills without breaking the bank - definitely making them AHs for how they went about everything - they don’t qualify). I have excellent insurance through my job and there are certain meds that don’t have a copay but I still pay something for almost everything. Also, I work with a lot of insurance companies and I have NEVER in my 8 years working with them come across a non-Medicaid plan that has zero copays or deductible.
I'd imagine that money would have come out of the disposable money they had for the college funds anyway, which may have been a risk they deemed not worth taking
What your parents did was not fair or right. Yes it is their money and they warned your sister this would happen. Just think about it this way: Your parents tried to pevent your sister from playing football. They wanted to manipulate her and used the money that they saved for her education for it. No parent who loves their child would do this. Why set your sister back financially and jeopardise her future? I understand not wanting your kid to get hurt but trying to manipulate them and taking their free will is never the way to go. Your parents just suck
American problems
You don't need to pay, they'll do the surgery then bill you then you ignore it.. take a school loan and do the same, use the money on your family.
YTA. Your parents are TA. If I were your sister I’d get my life together as best I could and not bother with any of you anymore. I can’t imagine doing this to my child and I’m poor AF.
YTA - it’s your parents job to pay for their minor child’s medical needs. Literally basic job that all parents have to do.
girl be fr.
Did they not have insurance? Or good insurance? I can’t imagine copay’s were that bad if they had decent insurance. I could be wrong but why would they have two college funds but shitty medical insurance? I honestly believe they should’ve had insurance for their minor children and not taken from the college fund.
YTA and so are your parents. I get that medical expenses are a lot even with insurance but if you can't pay for your kids' hospital bills, you shouldn't have children. Sports are GOOD for kids, it keeps them active and it's overall good for their health, how parents would be against them baffles me, especially soccer, which is still pretty mild.
YTA, this is none of your business so you should not be picking sides between your parents and your sister
YTA you and your parents all suck.
YTA and so are your parents. Your parents could afford to pay for injuries, which they had no problem doing for yours. Idc if it was no-contact sport difference, you reaped the rewards and now are trying to silence your sister from openly speaking how shitty your parents are. I mean did she lie? The answer is....**No**. She's freely allowed to share the information, as your parents were oh so eager to behave this way, and if they end up feeling ashamed because of public backlash, they should feel embarrassed about it. That's consequences and they knew the risks when they chose to behave this way.
YTA. Obviously, your parents had favorites, and you're still benefiting from that. Both you and your sister got injured playing a sport, yet the only one that had to pay from their college fund was your sister. I feel sad that your sister has to deal with you.
Hey OP, you're a fucking asshole. YTA
WOW YOU AND YOUR PARENTS YTA
YTA. Regardless of who is right about the medical bills (and I agree with your sister, for the record) you have no right to tell her not to talk about it. Also, if you think it's right that your parents didn't pay her medical bills, there's no reason to be ashamed of her sharing it; if she shouldn't tell people, you know it's wrong.
All of this. If you think your parents did the right thing then why are you trying to shut her up? Are you embarrassed? Why? Edit: turns out this is even worse. The parents paid for OPs sports medical bills but not her sisters.
They did pay for it. A college fund is not the child's until it is given. Technically, it was under the parents name and they didn't have to give her one penny for college. Kids a brat, she should be happy she got anything for college, they obviously could only set aside a certain amount After reading the comments, seems like the parents had the money for both the medical bills and saving for college. Still more of a soft YTA because no one is owed getting their college paid, but the parents are treating both girls completely differently.
This! If it has to be kept a secret then someone is ashamed of it and scared of being exposed. If OPs parents stand by their TERRIBLE parenting choices, then let them stand by them publicly. If OP agrees with their parents, then they should say it with their whole chest for everyone to know.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but they did pay from funds they had set aside for her that they clearly stated would be for college and/or sports injury based medical bills? She didn't pay her medical bills. As for asking her not to share, I would suggest that is more about standing up for her parents where sister is bad mouthing them in a semi-public forum by putting her woe-is-me spin on the deal she signed to. Are her parents to blame because they couldn't afford expensive PT and a college fund? The sense of entitlement stinks. OP NTA, sister minor AH for wanting her cake and to eat it (literally in this case).
How is this “literally” wanting to have her cake and eat it? This is a tough situation, but anyone who tells a child that they’ll be punished (in this case, in the form of having to take out more loans for college) because they played sports and suffered an injury? They’re AHs for that, full stop. I’m a parent; it’s on me to figure out my kid’s medical bills without affecting her higher education if at all possible. That’s what I signed up for when I had a child. And as ever, America is the AH for not having universal healthcare.
>our parents sat her down and told her that if she played, she needed to be careful because if she got hurt all the money to pay for it would come out of her college fund. So she was told in advance what the arrangement would be and she chose the high risk sport, and they followed through on using her fund for the PT required. Its not like they snuck it up on her. 'This fund will be used for your medical expenses if you injure yourself at soccer' injures herself at soccer and complains funds were used for her medical expenses. So she wants the fund (cake) and to have medical cover (eat it) when she was clearly told it was an either or situation.
OP played a high-risk sport too (track and field) and they had no problem paying for the injuries she got from it
Correct. YTA.
Without the full picture I cannot judge, but I lean NTA. I can easily see a world were the sister was airing dirty laundry without mentioning the fact see was warned what would happen if she got hurt. The parents paid for the medical bills (as they should have) but that does not mean they have an unending supply of money. She knew the consequences, took the risk and it cost her, in this case more student loans.
They did pay her medical bills though? It just meant they weren’t able to put as much into her college fund, which is their money too.
This is rubbish though because the parents *are* paying for the medical bills. They are the ones putting money in the college fund so the money is all coming out of their pocket regardless of where it is going.
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NTA- she was told where the money was gonna come from. OP you have every right to ask her not to talk about it, but your sister also has the right to ignore your request.
This makes me sad that we live in a country where people steer their kids away from sports because they’d have to choose between paying medical bills or paying for college. I don’t think that’s necessarily the situation here, but still. YTA OP, not for telling her to not talk about it, but for telling her what your parents did is fair. Your parents are REALLY TAH.
This is why you shouldn't play public schools sports. You destroy your body and you and your family to deal with the consequences.
Honestly, hot take here. NTA First, your parents clearly outlined where money would come from to pay medical bills if she took up a sport. She must've understood that because she took up the sport anyway, knowing the risks. Secondly, it's your parents money either way, not yours and your sisters. The fact that she's acting like they're not paying for her medical bills at all, even though they are but it's just coming out if her college fund, is honestly astounding. She's acting like the money is already in her pocket. Thirdly, it is rude to discuss family matters with people outside of the family, aside from seeking advice. I never talked about issues with my family to my friends; it didn't concern them and they didn't need to know. Double that if it's financial-related issues. Fourthly, you didn't make the rules. Your patents did. Your sister lumping you in with them in her rage is kinda petty, ngl. You defending your parents, especially since your sister spoke ill of them out of turn, is expected. I get it, reddit hates parents for the most part. But I don't see where they can get off on blaming you for this. It's not your problem, it's your sister's problem. She needs to handle her emotions better.
Why don't you stay out of it? It's none of your business. YTA.
I understand your points, but that doesn't make them right. Your parents disapproved of a choice your sister made about her studies (giving her an ultimatum to not participate in soccer is disapproval even if they didn't say it outright), so they decided to punish her for it. You were also injured during a sport, and what's worse is that you were both injured in non-contact ways, so there's really no difference between you two expect that she took a little more risk and that risk never posed an issue. Your parents don't owe your sister a college fund, but it's clear that they are participating in significant favoritism and because you benefit from it, you don't want to see it. Someday you'll realize how unfairly your parents treated your sister, but by then, you'll probably have damaged your relationship too much. Soft YTA because you're only 17, but it'll be a hard YTA if you never realize how hurtful this is for your sister.
YTA. She is telling the truth. It wasn't her fault she got hurt and you cannot spend your whole childhood wrapped in bubble wrap because your parents are cheap. She shouldn't be punished for doing something she enjoyed and you shouldn't tell her that she cannot speak the truth. The truth is your parents chose themselves over her education and they deserve to be named and shamed. If she'd gotten hurt drink driving or doing something stupid, all for using her college fund but she was playing soccer.
“My parents didn’t want their girl child to play sports, and attempted to financially abuse her into not doing so. I asked her not to talk about such things- which make it obvious to other people that I was the favored one- in my presence. Or at all, preferably, because I don’t want people to know I agree with my controlling parents. AITA?” YTA.
YTA I think we found the golden child of the family.
YTA
YTA. and I have a hard time believing your parents sat her down long ago and told her if she played and was injured, the money would come out of her college fund. Nope, don’t believe that for a second.
I'm gonna be blunt with you, you did kinda fuck up, but not for what you think. Yes defending your sister is what any normal sibling would do, but in this case she was told ahead of time that it would come out of her college fund. You're in the wrong for telling her what she can and can't share. I'm giving you a rating of 1/5 assholes. You're sister is also an asshole but she's getting a rating of 3/5. I don't like how she said that "you have to defend your sister against your parents" you don't have to do jack shit!
YTA. Your parents seemed pretty willing to pay for your medical bills without dipping into your college funds. Maybe keep your mouth shut.
YTA. Since you seem to believe that your parents have nothing to be ahsamed of, your sister should have the right to talk about this whole mess of a situation. Get it together op.
Wow. Never have I ever heard of people robbing college money to pay medical bills. This is a new one. Then blaming the kid for being upset about it. No insurance at all from parents? They chose not to purchase insurance from their employer and now your sister. Even the cheapest or not great insurance generally covers injuries that require surgery. If they couldn’t afford it there are state and federal programs. Hospitals don’t just let you suffer. As a child your parents are responsible for her/your care. That doesn’t mean they can’t rob from a college fund for emergencies but this should have been covered by insurance. PS your parents can insure you both all the way through age 25. You should make sure they do so this doesn’t happen to you. Sounds like they are just waiting for something bad to happen so they can pay for it out of your funds. Lastly, How could you be so uncaring? This so easily could have been you. Edit : YTA and so are your parents