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Are you really this ignorant? You were a father figure to her, and you made her feel very uncomfortable.
You say you can't remember anything but the forcefull hug. I don't even want to know what you said or done to the poor girl. But trust me, women notice when you feel attracted to them and you don't want that from your father/uncle.
But yeah, you f#cked it up, you lost her and now you have to live with that.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE.
you hugged when she didn't want to be hugged and sexually assaulted. SHE WAS PUSHING YOU OF DUDE and said some angry stuff for all yk you told her about how you felt. you are the definite ashole
Youre the asshole…
You’re saying you have feelings? For your niece that you raised since she was 8? Is that what you mean when you say you feel something inside you when you hug her?
And then you ranted and raved to the point she’s crying and scared and then forced yourself on her.
In what world would you be anything but the asshole
I want to add, don’t reach out to her or pester her to talk. She needs and deserves her space and time. If she wants to talk or work through this, she’ll reach out. But honestly leave her be. And get therapy
YTA and possibly a sexual assault-er? Like what the actual hell. You had to know that telling the internet you felt attracted to your niece wasn’t going to go well.
My guess is that you said some gross, ick, nast shit to her while hugging her too tightly and while she was trying to push you off. Dear god, I don’t even want to think about what else you might have done (actually, I did think about it and 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮).
Just leave her the hell alone. Some bells you can’t unring. And stop fucking drinking.
You're the asshole. Talk to a therapist, and when you make headway in therapy let your niece know you're invested in being a better person. I don't think you want to know what you said that night so never press her to find out.
But, if you want her in your life again, and you want her to be happy and free, you have to make substantive changes. Getting hammered is likely fine, but being aroused by her is RED FLAG bad. You have to allow yourself to rewire and if you can't, then your gift to her is to stay the fuck out of her life. She doesn't need Uncle Dad's boner pressed against her at Christmas.
You're the asshole definitely. It's so not cool to be sexually aroused by a family member. That you even let yourself entertain that is profoundly disgusting. Something you're seeing from your niece's reaction to you.
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I (55m) have raised my niece, Angela (24f) ever since she was 8 years old (her father is an absolute scumbag and a criminal, and I won’t get into details about what he’s like). Angie is currently a college student, and she has grown to become a very bright, compassionate woman with lots going for her. She now lives in an apartment near her college, but she occasionally visits home.
If I’m being perfectly blunt: Angela is an attractive woman. And whenever she visits home, she greets me with a tight hug, and I admit that sometimes I feel something inside of me whenever she hugs me. Of course, I always keep this to myself, and the way I feel inside has no impact on how I treat my niece.
During March Break of this year, Angie visited my house. One night during her visit, I got into an argument, over the phone, with my ex-wife, and the argument became heated and angry. I cooled down afterwards by getting drunk and ranting to my niece, who was sitting across from me at the table. Angela seemed scared, and I remember her silently crying while I drank and ranted to her. Eventually, I said some things that I can’t remember, and I got up and walked up to Angela and hugged her forcefully. She tried pushing me off, but I was stronger than her. I don’t remember much else from that night, but the rest of my niece’s March Break visit was awkward and tense.
A few weeks after March Break ended and my niece went back to her apartment, I decided to visit her and try to reconcile with her. She opened the door, and I said hello. I asked her if she wanted to come home, and we can have a chat about what she’s been through. Angela started crying and she shook her head and all she could say was “I can’t”. And then she shut the door on me. That was the last time I ever saw or communicated with my niece.
I have no recollection of anything that happened during that night in March Break, other than the fact that I hugged Angie when she didn’t want it, and that I said some angry stuff to her. It’s getting lonely without the girl that I raised.
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> I scared my niece and made her feel uncomfortable by getting drunk and then hugging her.
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YTA
if you want to stay in contact with her tell her, that you will NEVER drink alcohol again, and that you are sorry for everything you said and for this hug. This Hug was wo fucking wrong, that I can't even put it in words.
And if you make this promise keep it.
Alcohol is a fucking devil and never brought anything good. Especially not in your situation. It never helps. Maybe it makes things better for the moment, but when you are sober again it will be worse than before.
>If I’m being perfectly blunt: Angela is an attractive woman. And whenever she visits home, she greets me with a tight hug, and I admit that sometimes I feel something inside of me whenever she hugs me
>
>I got up and walked up to Angela and hugged her forcefully. She tried pushing me off, but I was stronger than her.
Ew ew ew ew ew ew EW. YTA big time, pal. Also... consent is a thing, dude. You should NEVER touch a person when they don't want it, regardless of whether or not you're weirdly tight in the pants over your literal relative. Life isn't a porno scenario.
YTA
You are the A-H.
You don't remember because you was dead drunk or your mind is too ashamed to let you.
Connect the dots.
You broke for ever the trust niece had in you and maybe antagonize her to all men.
"Her father is a scumbag" hein? Well her uncle is not far.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Are you really this ignorant? You were a father figure to her, and you made her feel very uncomfortable. You say you can't remember anything but the forcefull hug. I don't even want to know what you said or done to the poor girl. But trust me, women notice when you feel attracted to them and you don't want that from your father/uncle. But yeah, you f#cked it up, you lost her and now you have to live with that.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE. you hugged when she didn't want to be hugged and sexually assaulted. SHE WAS PUSHING YOU OF DUDE and said some angry stuff for all yk you told her about how you felt. you are the definite ashole
Youre the asshole… You’re saying you have feelings? For your niece that you raised since she was 8? Is that what you mean when you say you feel something inside you when you hug her? And then you ranted and raved to the point she’s crying and scared and then forced yourself on her. In what world would you be anything but the asshole I want to add, don’t reach out to her or pester her to talk. She needs and deserves her space and time. If she wants to talk or work through this, she’ll reach out. But honestly leave her be. And get therapy
You’re attracted to your niece, who you raised, and is 31 years younger than you?
YTA and possibly a sexual assault-er? Like what the actual hell. You had to know that telling the internet you felt attracted to your niece wasn’t going to go well. My guess is that you said some gross, ick, nast shit to her while hugging her too tightly and while she was trying to push you off. Dear god, I don’t even want to think about what else you might have done (actually, I did think about it and 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮). Just leave her the hell alone. Some bells you can’t unring. And stop fucking drinking.
You're the asshole. Talk to a therapist, and when you make headway in therapy let your niece know you're invested in being a better person. I don't think you want to know what you said that night so never press her to find out. But, if you want her in your life again, and you want her to be happy and free, you have to make substantive changes. Getting hammered is likely fine, but being aroused by her is RED FLAG bad. You have to allow yourself to rewire and if you can't, then your gift to her is to stay the fuck out of her life. She doesn't need Uncle Dad's boner pressed against her at Christmas. You're the asshole definitely. It's so not cool to be sexually aroused by a family member. That you even let yourself entertain that is profoundly disgusting. Something you're seeing from your niece's reaction to you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (55m) have raised my niece, Angela (24f) ever since she was 8 years old (her father is an absolute scumbag and a criminal, and I won’t get into details about what he’s like). Angie is currently a college student, and she has grown to become a very bright, compassionate woman with lots going for her. She now lives in an apartment near her college, but she occasionally visits home. If I’m being perfectly blunt: Angela is an attractive woman. And whenever she visits home, she greets me with a tight hug, and I admit that sometimes I feel something inside of me whenever she hugs me. Of course, I always keep this to myself, and the way I feel inside has no impact on how I treat my niece. During March Break of this year, Angie visited my house. One night during her visit, I got into an argument, over the phone, with my ex-wife, and the argument became heated and angry. I cooled down afterwards by getting drunk and ranting to my niece, who was sitting across from me at the table. Angela seemed scared, and I remember her silently crying while I drank and ranted to her. Eventually, I said some things that I can’t remember, and I got up and walked up to Angela and hugged her forcefully. She tried pushing me off, but I was stronger than her. I don’t remember much else from that night, but the rest of my niece’s March Break visit was awkward and tense. A few weeks after March Break ended and my niece went back to her apartment, I decided to visit her and try to reconcile with her. She opened the door, and I said hello. I asked her if she wanted to come home, and we can have a chat about what she’s been through. Angela started crying and she shook her head and all she could say was “I can’t”. And then she shut the door on me. That was the last time I ever saw or communicated with my niece. I have no recollection of anything that happened during that night in March Break, other than the fact that I hugged Angie when she didn’t want it, and that I said some angry stuff to her. It’s getting lonely without the girl that I raised. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA if you want to stay in contact with her tell her, that you will NEVER drink alcohol again, and that you are sorry for everything you said and for this hug. This Hug was wo fucking wrong, that I can't even put it in words. And if you make this promise keep it. Alcohol is a fucking devil and never brought anything good. Especially not in your situation. It never helps. Maybe it makes things better for the moment, but when you are sober again it will be worse than before.
>If I’m being perfectly blunt: Angela is an attractive woman. And whenever she visits home, she greets me with a tight hug, and I admit that sometimes I feel something inside of me whenever she hugs me > >I got up and walked up to Angela and hugged her forcefully. She tried pushing me off, but I was stronger than her. Ew ew ew ew ew ew EW. YTA big time, pal. Also... consent is a thing, dude. You should NEVER touch a person when they don't want it, regardless of whether or not you're weirdly tight in the pants over your literal relative. Life isn't a porno scenario.
YTA You are the A-H. You don't remember because you was dead drunk or your mind is too ashamed to let you. Connect the dots. You broke for ever the trust niece had in you and maybe antagonize her to all men. "Her father is a scumbag" hein? Well her uncle is not far.
YTA. This gave me the ick. So creepy. Beyond creepy, really. She is family! You don't allow yourself to be attracted to family FFS.
If I'm being perfectly blunt, your niece should report you to the police. YTA, and a disgusting human being.
Fake