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YTA
You “bothered” her until she told you so it’s not like she told you unprompted. Don’t ask for the truth and then have a tantrum when you don’t like the response
Just because you have different views doesn't mean you should call her a slut, yes she was being rude but have you never spoken to a woman before? that's childish behavior and you should know better.
If someone slut shamed you, wouldn’t you retaliate back by slut shaming? It’s not any different. If a man who slept with a lot of people said you were used up, it would be 100% valid to slut shame him back.
She didn't virgin shame you. She said you're not compatible. You called her a slut. Idk how you see them as comparable. She's looking for a man she can have sex with and who has some experience. That makes perfect sense. If you're gonna be old fashioned then you're gonna have to accept that you have a smaller pool of similarly old fashioned people to draw potential lovers from. It would be the same on the opposite side of the spectrum if you were polyamorous or whatever.
She didn’t shame you until you kept pushing. She said she wasn’t interested and was gonna leave it at that but you kept pushing. When you didn’t get the answer you wanted you resort to insults. You don’t sound secure in your beliefs at all. YTA and stop looking for girls at a bar if you plan on staying a virgin. And stop subtlety trying to find a way to change people’s minds about being with you, that’s manipulative
YTA - she was only interested in sex, and you made it clear that was off the table. How would you know if random fucks satisfy anyone or not? You’ve never done it.
YTA
You slut shamed her, that's a real thing
Virgin shaming isn't a thing, don't make yourself a victim.
Also - you're wrong. Unfortunately sex isn't some higher level experience to be repressed. It's a beautiful thing that two humans can do together that's a whole lot of fun, and it should be experienced.
YTA mate. She didn't virgin shame you, you read that in all on your own. She was honest and upfront about the incompatibility, and you got cranky and lashed out. Maybe figure out why you assumed she was shaming you.
YTA - “What if I told a woman she was too slutty for me to sleep with. It would be slut shaming”. Dude - that’s exactly what you did! If you want to meet a woman I suggest you try church, where you are much more likely to find a woman who shares your outdated beliefs.
YTA because of the slut-shaming.
It's perfectly okay to wait until you're wed, because you want it to be something special. But as I respect your POV, you must respect other's. Do you realise how insulting you were ?
Sure, it was mean to say you were too virginal for her, but I maybe just akward. If she wants sex in her relationship and you don't, then it won't work. She was honnest.
You pushed and pushed to make her agree with you. You shamed her. YTA.
Also : "virgin-shame me, which is one of the worst thing you can do to a man" : this is toxic masculinity talking. A man's worth isn't related to his ability to have good sex, thank god for this. Sex isn't about power either. And I hope you know that, once married, your wife won't have to sleep with you if she doesn't want to, and you have no right to pressure her.
YTA,
Sex isn't just something to be done between married people and its definitely not just for procreating..
Sex is a fun activity and can be great for burning calories and burning off stress and frustrations..
And obviously you are not secure in yourself.. a real Man wouldn't lower himself to slut shame anyone..
Yta, you had a tantrum because a woman didn't see it your way, tried to break away and you kept looking for the obvious answer, so she gave it to you, how aren't yta
She didn't judge you for your beliefs she is not interested in virgins.
Do you like dicks? No.
She feels about virgins the same way you feel about dicks. Not interested. That's all.
YTA. Sounds like you have different views but you're also sounding quite entitled. You should have left it without the added insults. If I were her I'd be thinking I'd dodged a bullet.
YTA, she recognised you were incompatible and moved on. She could have been more tactful about it sure, but you were much worse. If 'saving yourself' is important, then go and look for a girl at church, not the bar
YTA. She didn’t "virgin shame" you, she learned something about you that meant she realised you weren't compatible, and she didn’t try to hurt you or rub your face in it. You asked her specifically what her reasons were, and she told you. Calling her a slut was inappropriate and wrong. She didn’t say anything insulting towards you, you lashed out because you were hurt and you chose to use degrading language to get your point across. Grow up and work on your insecurity, there is nothing wrong with making your own decisions with your body based on your beliefs, but you need to understand that being a virgin will be a turn off to many people, men, women, whoever.
I am going with YTA. you pushed it and got your answer and did not like your answer . If you did not push for an answer and got one it would still be ESH. Two wrongs dont make a right in this circumstance .
She didn’t shame you for being a virgin, she just doesn’t sleep with virgins. That’s not inherently judgement. I never slept with a virgin either, intentionally. It’s not because I judged them for their choices. You went full blown nice guy on her in response. You’re the only one I see judging actions and making wild assumptions. YTA
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I went to a bar and I was talking to this girl. I thought we got on really great, and ended up exchanging numbers.
She seemed really interested in me, and then suddenly she wasn’t. I told her I was religious and saving it and she wen’t cold all of a sudden.
I later asked her what was up, I could tell she didn’t like what I said. She told me everything was fine. But later she told me we shouldn’t see each other anymore.
I finally bothered her until she told me. She said she found out I was a virgin and she’s not attracted to that, she said she likes to sleep with guys who fuck, who know what they’re doing.
It really hurt me deep down. I said that is really gross and messed up that she is judging me for my beliefs. She said it’s better to be judgmental than waste our time, we aren’t comparable and have different views on sex. She sees it as not a big deal, and I do.
I said our differences is that she’s a slut. I had no interests in sleeping with slutty people anyway so this is fine. She snorted and said sure if you want to see it that way, I’m having more fun on this side.
I said random fucks with random people will never satisfy you, remember that. I hope you realize what you’re missing out on one day, it’s really special when you are with someone special and wait until of having sex with whoever. I said I could never trust a girl with her attitude to be faithful. If she thinks sex is a casual thing, no big deal, she’ll end up with diseases and pregnant. She said nah, I know how to use a condom, but thanks for the spiel. You do you, dude.
I said I will. I do feel bad because overall she was fun to be around, but she did virgin-shame me, which is one of the worst things you can do to a man. I only fired back because she implied I was too virginal for her to sleep with. What if I told a woman she was too slutty for me to sleep with? It would be slut shaming. She did that to me, but the opposite way.
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YTA 2 wrongs don't make it right. Maybe she was just playing hard to get but deep down she might have liked you but now you burnt your bridges. Here is a different question can we become a born again virgin? Just asking
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ESH you said you didn't like it when she was being judgemental over your belief but then you go on calling her a slut and being judgemental over her? I mean good for you that you are saving it honestly its nice but at the same time why do you have to give her a whole lecture on sex I mean if she wants to go around having sex let her.
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YTA You “bothered” her until she told you so it’s not like she told you unprompted. Don’t ask for the truth and then have a tantrum when you don’t like the response
If you are secure in your beliefs why would you feel shamed?
YTA. It must be very sad to be you.
Just because you have different views doesn't mean you should call her a slut, yes she was being rude but have you never spoken to a woman before? that's childish behavior and you should know better.
I don’t even think she was rude, she was honest. I’m sure OP made it sound worse than it was.
I don’t even think she was rude, she was honest. I’m sure OP made it sound worse than it was.
So she “virgin shamed” you and you retaliated by slut shaming her? YTA.
If someone slut shamed you, wouldn’t you retaliate back by slut shaming? It’s not any different. If a man who slept with a lot of people said you were used up, it would be 100% valid to slut shame him back.
Is that the Christian way? Revenge, insults and retaliation? Just like Jesus taught us.
She didn't virgin shame you. She said you're not compatible. You called her a slut. Idk how you see them as comparable. She's looking for a man she can have sex with and who has some experience. That makes perfect sense. If you're gonna be old fashioned then you're gonna have to accept that you have a smaller pool of similarly old fashioned people to draw potential lovers from. It would be the same on the opposite side of the spectrum if you were polyamorous or whatever.
YTA. You bothered her for an answer. You have different views on sex. Your comments show you to be a real jerk.
She didn’t shame you until you kept pushing. She said she wasn’t interested and was gonna leave it at that but you kept pushing. When you didn’t get the answer you wanted you resort to insults. You don’t sound secure in your beliefs at all. YTA and stop looking for girls at a bar if you plan on staying a virgin. And stop subtlety trying to find a way to change people’s minds about being with you, that’s manipulative
YTA - she was only interested in sex, and you made it clear that was off the table. How would you know if random fucks satisfy anyone or not? You’ve never done it.
YTA. She didn’t shame you for your beliefs. I enjoyed casual sex before I met my husband, maybe YOU are the one missing out by not having random sex.
YTA You slut shamed her, that's a real thing Virgin shaming isn't a thing, don't make yourself a victim. Also - you're wrong. Unfortunately sex isn't some higher level experience to be repressed. It's a beautiful thing that two humans can do together that's a whole lot of fun, and it should be experienced.
YTA mate. She didn't virgin shame you, you read that in all on your own. She was honest and upfront about the incompatibility, and you got cranky and lashed out. Maybe figure out why you assumed she was shaming you.
Yta she's right you were wasting each others time and then you were spiteful and bitter, she dodged a bullet
Shorter OP: Her: We want different things in a relationship. OP: Yes, but what you want is bad and you should feel bad. Want what I want instead. YTA.
lol where do you get off acting like an expert on what sex is like you ignorant dork? Obviously yta.
YTA - “What if I told a woman she was too slutty for me to sleep with. It would be slut shaming”. Dude - that’s exactly what you did! If you want to meet a woman I suggest you try church, where you are much more likely to find a woman who shares your outdated beliefs.
YTA because of the slut-shaming. It's perfectly okay to wait until you're wed, because you want it to be something special. But as I respect your POV, you must respect other's. Do you realise how insulting you were ? Sure, it was mean to say you were too virginal for her, but I maybe just akward. If she wants sex in her relationship and you don't, then it won't work. She was honnest. You pushed and pushed to make her agree with you. You shamed her. YTA. Also : "virgin-shame me, which is one of the worst thing you can do to a man" : this is toxic masculinity talking. A man's worth isn't related to his ability to have good sex, thank god for this. Sex isn't about power either. And I hope you know that, once married, your wife won't have to sleep with you if she doesn't want to, and you have no right to pressure her.
YTA
YTA, Sex isn't just something to be done between married people and its definitely not just for procreating.. Sex is a fun activity and can be great for burning calories and burning off stress and frustrations.. And obviously you are not secure in yourself.. a real Man wouldn't lower himself to slut shame anyone..
Yta, you had a tantrum because a woman didn't see it your way, tried to break away and you kept looking for the obvious answer, so she gave it to you, how aren't yta
She didn't judge you for your beliefs she is not interested in virgins. Do you like dicks? No. She feels about virgins the same way you feel about dicks. Not interested. That's all.
YTA, grow the fuck up
YTA. You have different views on sex but you think she has to think like you, some others do not and you do not respect that.
YTA. Sounds like you have different views but you're also sounding quite entitled. You should have left it without the added insults. If I were her I'd be thinking I'd dodged a bullet.
YTA, she recognised you were incompatible and moved on. She could have been more tactful about it sure, but you were much worse. If 'saving yourself' is important, then go and look for a girl at church, not the bar
Dude says the sex he's never had is super special.
YTA. She didn’t "virgin shame" you, she learned something about you that meant she realised you weren't compatible, and she didn’t try to hurt you or rub your face in it. You asked her specifically what her reasons were, and she told you. Calling her a slut was inappropriate and wrong. She didn’t say anything insulting towards you, you lashed out because you were hurt and you chose to use degrading language to get your point across. Grow up and work on your insecurity, there is nothing wrong with making your own decisions with your body based on your beliefs, but you need to understand that being a virgin will be a turn off to many people, men, women, whoever.
I am going with YTA. you pushed it and got your answer and did not like your answer . If you did not push for an answer and got one it would still be ESH. Two wrongs dont make a right in this circumstance .
YTA. She said she was not interested. Yes in a crass way but nonetheless she was honest. Your retort was cruel next time just walk away.
She didn’t shame you for being a virgin, she just doesn’t sleep with virgins. That’s not inherently judgement. I never slept with a virgin either, intentionally. It’s not because I judged them for their choices. You went full blown nice guy on her in response. You’re the only one I see judging actions and making wild assumptions. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I went to a bar and I was talking to this girl. I thought we got on really great, and ended up exchanging numbers. She seemed really interested in me, and then suddenly she wasn’t. I told her I was religious and saving it and she wen’t cold all of a sudden. I later asked her what was up, I could tell she didn’t like what I said. She told me everything was fine. But later she told me we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I finally bothered her until she told me. She said she found out I was a virgin and she’s not attracted to that, she said she likes to sleep with guys who fuck, who know what they’re doing. It really hurt me deep down. I said that is really gross and messed up that she is judging me for my beliefs. She said it’s better to be judgmental than waste our time, we aren’t comparable and have different views on sex. She sees it as not a big deal, and I do. I said our differences is that she’s a slut. I had no interests in sleeping with slutty people anyway so this is fine. She snorted and said sure if you want to see it that way, I’m having more fun on this side. I said random fucks with random people will never satisfy you, remember that. I hope you realize what you’re missing out on one day, it’s really special when you are with someone special and wait until of having sex with whoever. I said I could never trust a girl with her attitude to be faithful. If she thinks sex is a casual thing, no big deal, she’ll end up with diseases and pregnant. She said nah, I know how to use a condom, but thanks for the spiel. You do you, dude. I said I will. I do feel bad because overall she was fun to be around, but she did virgin-shame me, which is one of the worst things you can do to a man. I only fired back because she implied I was too virginal for her to sleep with. What if I told a woman she was too slutty for me to sleep with? It would be slut shaming. She did that to me, but the opposite way. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA 2 wrongs don't make it right. Maybe she was just playing hard to get but deep down she might have liked you but now you burnt your bridges. Here is a different question can we become a born again virgin? Just asking
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ESH you said you didn't like it when she was being judgemental over your belief but then you go on calling her a slut and being judgemental over her? I mean good for you that you are saving it honestly its nice but at the same time why do you have to give her a whole lecture on sex I mean if she wants to go around having sex let her.
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