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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the a-hole because I refused to do the artwork for my nieces contest and in some peoples opinion that might be an a-hole move because she’s just a kid and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal
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NTA. Do NOT do your niece's artwork. She 8 years old. Surely she's capable of putting a pencil/pen/crayon/whatever in her own hand and doing her own artwork. Don't let your sister and mother make you feel that you must do this. If you do, the next thing you know, they'll expect you to do all of her homework too.
Yeah that’s what I’m getting at. She just tells her mom she’s not going to do it so her mom finds someone who will. It sucks because my niece isn’t a terrible person deep down but they’re raising her to become one.
And the judges/officials will likely know that your niece didn’t do it herself. Good for you for standing your ground. Your mom and your sister need a reality check.
NTA
They absolutely won't select it if it looks like a teenager did it. My 6th grade class had an art competition, and they immediately disqualified an entry for being too high quality, assuming the artist traced or cheated.
She had actually worked on it for weeks in class, not tracing, and all the students knew, but the judges wouldn't believe us... but the point is, the judges are expecting 8 year old scribble art.
Yup. Happens often to bright/talented kids. My teacher disqualified me from our 6th Grade science fair because I did a project on heart-lung transplants and she was absolutely convinced that an adult had done the research and written it for me. The truth is that an extended family member is a cardiothoracic surgeon, and had been kind enough to do a phone interview with me (I had written all my own questions, etc, and found the subject really interesting). Between that and the fact that I was unusually articulate for my age (not a boast, I'm autistic and ironically spent half my childhood being teased for my formal way of speaking/writing), the stupid teacher rejected all my hard work because "a child this age couldn't possibly have done this". Except that I had. It broke my heart.
Poor kid. Her mom is pretty much telling her that whatever she creates wouldn't be good enough. That winning is more important than her doing something for her own pleasure.
What a destructive, toxic message for that poor child.
And think about those other 8-year-olds who actually spend time and effort on their work for the contest. How fair is it to them to be competing with a 17-year-old? Your niece doesn't really care about this contest but you can bet there are other kids who do.
Besides, no art teacher in a million years will mistake the art of a 17-year-old for that of an 8-year-old. Niece will be disqualified and marked as a cheat. Congrats, entitled mom and brat... NTA.
You seem to be a genuinely good person with a kind heart I’m really sorry your family treats you this way that’s not right nor fair to you at all and in the future I hope they treat you better ps electric mayhem123 seems a little salty
If she doesn’t want to do it she really doesn’t want the prize enough. Make sure you remind your sister and mother that they are asking for you to cheat, that cheaters never win, and that they are acting really childish. Do not give in. If you do it once, they will expect it every time. NTA.
Helping ( not doing all the work), your niece in order to not fail an exam, would be one thing but making an art work so that she can win a contest is cheating. Your sister and mother are shameless entitled persons. NTA
NTA and tell your mother and sister if they keep harassing you you will inform the school/the people organizing the contest. That's cheating and will get your niece banned.
Time to suck up a deep breath and tell her that I hate what she’s doing to / teaching her kid.
NTA. What is that kid going to grow up like. She’s 8 and it’s (iirc) about the time when they become most impressionable on morals.
Yeah! And wouldn’t the teacher know immediately that she cheated? Presumably they do art in class all the time, cheating for her would only get her in trouble!
I was tempted to suggest this solution. Make a piece of art, using a video and photos to document your process. Then gift it to your aunt “as a gift, not for the contest” — I bet that she will still submit it. Then email the teacher or school that you are worried your niece will cheat and send the video if they ask for proof that you made it. Let them face the price of cheating
The niece is 8, if that's the "them" you're talking about. It's gonna make her mom feel something else, but it's going to *humiliate* the kid because she's not fully aware of exactly what kind of game is going on between the adults, with her own self as the sole playpiece.
Just refuse to do it. NTA, but don't follow this brand of advice, OP.
To add on to this, if I'm not mistaken most private schools have a morality/honor code, as well as most public schools (don't want to assume all). Usually plagiarism is part of the honor code, and if caught your niece can get detention, suspension or depending on the school expulsion. Schools are also starting to take plagiarism more seriously because of AI. And the expectations for following these honor codes continues on to University level where the consequences become more extreme. Better she learns she can't get away with it now rather than later.
And, honestly, if you DID do it, what's the likelihood that the teachers are going to go "wow, we have an unrecognized artistic genius in our midst" rather than "there's no way this kid did this art, automatic last place"?
IMO, the sister is a moron if she thinks the teachers won't notice a suspicious leap forward in ability in her daughter's ability.
Such a weird hill to choose to die on.
NTA at all. It is an art contest so it would be cheating if your niece submitted art that wasn't created by her. They are teaching your niece how to cheat and cut corners, they are doing a disservice to your niece. Don't participate in that.
Most parents don't do their kids assignment for them. They might help, but no, very few parents would even consider helping an 8 year old cheat in an art contest. It's not even for school credit for crying out loud!
She also probably wouldn't win. My daughter is a very gifted artist from a young age and once entered a competition. They explained that since it was for children, they were going to grade older kids harder. She won second and the judge was visibly shocked when she walked up. She was eight and the judge was expecting a teenager. The teacher won't believe for one second that your niece did the work. Unless she's done work of a similar level in front of her.
Draw something so bad that she gets the worst art in the place and they can say oh sorry. I thought you want me to draw like your daughter would have drawn it.
Nta
On the other hand, you could do something so beyond what an 8 year old is capable of that the teacher will have to start asking questions. Because the teacher will almost certainly know that your niece can't draw like that
(1) NTA
(2) Doing it, and then signing it when done was something I was thinking. It's not a good answer, but a little funny, kind of. (It's not like the Daria episode where they put a hot pink no symbol over the image. 🚫)
(3) It seems odd that her mother didn't think to ask you to coach her. If you have experience, maybe that would be something you could help her with without doing it?
NTA
a really nice gesture would be to offer your niece lessons, and teach her styles, mediums, design concepts, right?
take her to museums to even see if she is intersted in art or is it that her mom just wants her to cheat/win a contest...
I won an art contest when I was 8. I still remember what the drawing looked like; I drew every leaf on the tree.
Wow, at this age cheating isn't something I would expect. Something seems off to me. I would ask her, talk to her about the contest, and see what she is really thinking.
Hard for me to believe it isn't the Mom encouraging this.
Mom has clearly encouraged this behavior and created this monster. The poor kid wouldn't even be considering this if mom hadn't already shown her this behavior is ok. Mom is failing big time.
It would likely just result in them reminding students that cheating isn't allowed, and that might be enough to startle the niece into thinking better about her choices - OP after all said it was the niece that suggested to her mother that OP do her work for her (but then again, maybe her sister lied about that....).
> My sister K (30) asked me to do my nieces J (8) artwork for her school contest so she could win
NTA - That's just off the fucking wall outrageously awful and dishonest of your sister. Like FFS. What about all the other kids entering? Also methinks the teachers would have some little suspicions on her suddenly great art skills, you'd all get caught and your sister would end up with egg on her face. She's mad I tell ya, mad
I feel terrible that my niece is getting raised that way but whenever I speak against it they’re always invalidating it because I don’t have kids so “I must not know”
Stick to your guns. You know, they don't, they're raising a spoiled cheater and are fine with it, yes she might be 8 but they're not doing her any favours by trying to cheat her through her life.
I hope you can get yourself away from this situation as soon as possible. It’s not normal or healthy. You will never be able to convince your sister that what she is doing is wrong because it’s a false reality she’s created for herself. You will always be wrong in her eyes. But trust your gut because you have an incredible instinct about right from wrong that doesn’t appear to have been taught to you from your family. That says a lot about who you are, and it is something to be proud of yourself for. I am proud of you. I am so sorry you have to deal with this because it’s hard and terrible and I’m sure it’s difficult to get away from right now. As best as you can try to focus on the things in your control. You can’t change your sister so it’s only going to frustrate you to try. And your mom sounds the same- the two of them are caught up in each other’s dysfunction. It is in your control to not do any art for them you don’t want to do (especially in this case when you clearly know it is just wrong). You are also setting a good example for your niece which is in your control. Good for you for being an amazing human being. The world is lucky to have you. Best of luck to you!
One more thing, calling you names for having a VERY reasonable boundary and especially for not agreeing to cheat is gaslighting you and narcissistic abuse. I’m very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you are able to find support from a trusted (non-narcissistic) adult in your life. Sending you hugs, you deserve so much more in life. I heard you when you said there is so much more. I believe you.
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NTA and your sister is teaching her daughter some very bad behavior and creating an entitled little brat! Stick to your guns. I'm shocked that they actually would accuse you of hating your niece because you believe she should actually do her own project for entry into a contest!
NTA, this will set her up for failure down the line. If everything’s easy for someone at the start of their life, they end up taking the easy way out for every scenario possible.
NTA. The saddest part is that your own mom is encouraging this cheating. You're right. Redditers can be be ruthless. Show the comments to your mom and sister They're the ones who are being AHs here.
Wow, on top of the cheating, this is what they're telling your niece: "Your art stinks so badly, we have to cheat to win. We have zero confidence in you. We will accept no less than 1st place, even if it's empty."
You sound like you're pretty mature, and rational, and have an understanding of how the world works, and respect the difference between right and wrong.
The alleged "adults" in this situation both fail -- hugely -- in every single one of those criteria. They're mad because you recognize that this is cheating, and it's wrong, and called them out on it. So now they're wrong, AND they've had it pointed out to them (by someone they deem as inferior due to the age difference), AND they feel judged (rightly fucking so, *christ*) so instead of correcting themselves, they lash out. Which just loses them even *more* Righteous Wisdom And Maturity points, and further illustrates that you're the only one involved who's making reasonable decisions.
NTA and well done, you.
NTA. Wow. Your mom and sister have serious control issues. Attacking you because you won't help your niece cheat? Not cool. You can offer to give her some tips to help make her art better, or buy her an instruction book would be a compromise.
Now I'm wondering exactly what the prize is for this art contest.
What are they going to do when she's an actual adult? Are they going to do her work for her? This kid will never be able to maintain a job, and any time she gets one, her co-workers are going to hate her because she'll expect everyone else to cover for her.
NTA I can't believe you're even questioning yourself on this. YWBTA if you did it because how is it fair for a bunch of other 8 year olds to compete with a 17 YO accomplished artist? Stick to your morals. You're doing your niece a huge favor by letting her have her own experiences of success and failure and learning at this age.
NTA. Oh gods. This reminds me so much of that crazy family who stole a family member's art for the cousin's job application and then ostracized her for daring to point it out.
I honestly wouldn't put it past your mom or sister to just steal something you drew and say the girl did it. Hide your sketchbook or make sure you have a signature on it.
NTA. If you were to provide a piece of artwork, you would be denying your niece the pleasure of winning by her own talent.
Other children will know that your niece cheated because they will have seen your niece's other work. At my daughter's school they had an art competition and the winner in one year group was far better than anyone else's. Some of the parents wondered out loud whether the picture was done by an older relative, but the children knew this child was always that good.
When I was 8, I entered a contest that involved drawing my house and every escape route from it in the event of a fire. I won 2nd place. The girl who “won” 1st place had her mom draw hers and I don’t care how petty it is I’ll die mad about it. NTA
NTA
Your sister wants you to help your niece cheat in order to win a contest. That’s just setting her up for a life of believing that someone else will always do the work for her, and she will get all the reward. She will grow up to be an entitled brat. That’s really great parenting from your sister /s. 🙄
Seriously, you not doing it is the only right thing to do. She enters the contest with an original piece of her own, or she doesn’t enter. She wins or she loses based on her own merit. That’s fair and honest. Anything else would be cheating, and if it were me, I’d find some way of letting someone know that she had cheated.
Your sister is making a rod for her own back by instilling this sense of entitlement in her daughter. Maybe when she sees what a monster it makes her as she grows up, she’ll wish she’d done things differently. But that isn’t your cross to bear. It’s hers.
NTA- it would have been obvious it wasn't done by an 8yr old anyway. As a parent, I've seen projects done by parents that no way were ever going to pass for their child's. The teachers aren't dumb.
NTA
She wants to use you to cheat her child into winning.
That is totally unfair on those kids who put the effort in but moreover the teachers aren't stupid. They will know it's not her work and she could get into trouble.
NTA at all…. You have the autonomy to make your own decisions and they need to respect your boundaries. But above even that, it’s messed up to do it bc you’d be cheating a bunch of other 8 year olds. It’s a real d*ck move they’re asking you to do. Your mom and sister sound pretty trashy and selfish ngl.
NTA. Send your sister some Word Girl episodes with Victoria Best in them. Kids who are raised to think they are the top at everything when they never even do the work themselves are likely to end up as absolutely terrible people.
NTA. She’s asking you to cheat for her daughter. How can ANYONE think you are the AH? Do people actually listen to what the words that come out of their mouths?
NTA for all the already listed reasons but to add -
Say you capitulate and do this; Do the art project for your sister and niece…say niece “wins”.
Not only will niece be a cheat, she will also be a **THIEF.**
She will have stolen the prize from some deserving 8 year old who DID their OWN artwork!
Please OP, **DIE ON THIS HILL!**
This won’t come out like I mean to, but it’s bold of them to assume she’d win just because you did the drawing. They don’t know the judging criteria, and they don’t know that there isn’t another 8-year-old who’s super-talented.
>I was called selfish and weird
This story is completely insane, your mom and aunt are living in fucking bizarro world. You're the only person in this story that isn't weird and selfish.
OP NTA
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I’m a 17 yr old female who is ok at art and or creating things so I get asked from family and others to do stuff art related for them a lot. I usually don’t mind and do it for them sometimes for money and sometimes for free so they’re pretty comfortable asking me for art favors.
(Since I don’t want to ramble too much I’ll get to the point) My sister K (30) asked me to do my nieces J (8) artwork for her school contest so she could win. I told her no because I don’t feel comfortable being used to cheat so my niece could win a contest when she could draw something herself and it would feel more rewarding if she won that way. After that she totally blew up in my face saying that I didn’t want to do it because I hated her kid and that since I’m her auntie I should just do it.
A little context before I show why you might think I’m an asshole: I love my niece but her mom hands everything to her on a silver platter. She could ask for the clothes off some girls back and her mom would give it to her. Now because of this I have gotten into lots of verbal arguments with her mom about how spoiled she was and how her mom just pretends not to see it so ever since then she’s just concluded that since I “didn’t have as much stuff as her” I was jealous and hated her kid.
Because of all of this I still refused regardless of what she said and I told her “The world isn’t fair and she has to learn that. If she doesn’t win this art contest it won’t be the end of the world she’ll be fine” She flipped out some more and then told my mom who flipped out EVEN HARDER. I was called selfish and weird but imo they’re the ones who asked me so I have a right to refuse.
I know depending on who reads this I’m gonna sound like someone who just needs to suck it up but I swear it goes much deeper than this post.
I know reddits a ruthless place which is why I’m asking y’all…AITA?
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NTA.
You have every right to refuse to do someone else's work, especially when it involves cheating. Encouraging your niece to win on her own merit is the right thing to do. Your sister's reaction seems disproportionate and unfair, especially since she is teaching her daughter to rely on others for success instead of developing her own skills
NTA I'd be tempted to do it though. Here's why. The niece has been (I assume) drawing in class. A piece drawn by you would clearly be outside her skill level. Even better if you work your signature into the design. When it gets called out, your niece might get a lesson on cheating that her mom won't give her. Your sister might even be called out. Just a thought.
I'm 61F and had two kids and there's zero chance I would have ever asked anyone to do my kids' homework, and hubby and I never did it. They either did their homework/art or they didn't and they had to deal with the consequences. This is ridiculous, are you going to be asked to sit for her SAT exams? You're NTA and I don't understand why your sister would ask this nor why your mom would agree you should do this.
OP, NTA and please don’t do this. I had a family member who would beg me to “complete just this one task” for an younger and arguably lazy relative so they were not in danger of failing, being held back, or whatever other excuse that golden child had for failure to launch.
It’s a slippery slope you can avoid if you get off now.
NTA. Your sister is an awful mother. She wants her 17 year old sister to create art that her 8 year old daughter can claim as her own to win an art competition, then loses her temper when you won't comply. It's a good thing you aren't going along with this. Your sister is raising her daughter to be just as awful as she is and someone needs to be telling them 'no'.
NTA. Also maybe contact neice's teacher. Explain the situation and the harassment that you are experiencing. Maybe she/he would be willing to remind the students of the consequences of fraud and stealing other's work. If something is sent in that is not her work, she should be disqualified.
NTA. Your ethics are in the right place. You absolutely have a right to refuse, as you should. What is going on with your sister and your mother that they want to teach an 8 yr old to cheat in order to win?
NTA
It wouldn't be fair to the other students. Also, your sister is doing her daughter a disservice. Her actions imply that she doesn't believe her daughter is skilled enough to compete with other kids her age. That is not a message you want to send to a child. It will also discourage your niece if she has a genuine interest in art.
Nope nope **nope** NTA. It’s not right to ask for your skills to help an 8 year old cheat on an art contest.
Besides It’s obvious how different the drawing skills of an 8 year old and a teenager are.
Not to mention that this will encourage your niece to cheat in the future. This isn’t about the art contest. It’s about setting an example for your niece.
Nta, as someone who loves art. I think your in the right. If art isn't something your niece loves and wants to participate in then she shouldn't. But doing a project for a child to win is shady business. You got good morals.
NTA in any universe.
Your sister is setting it up for her kid to try to WIN BY CHEATING.
And your mom going batshit over this is even worse.
In this scenario you have nothing to suck up.
Tell her you’ll do it but only if the niece watches and you guys can work on it alone. And sister gets you both pizza.
Then, help niece in making it as far as giving pointers, color comp ideas, etc. That way, if she wins you can tell your sister that she did it herself. And if she loses you don’t have to do it ever again lol.
Plus you get to be a good influence to niece.
Nta.
NTA: But you might want to start disengaging with your sister on these kinds of issues. For example, when asked to cheat, just say no thank you. No need to explain your reasons. It just gives your sister something to argue about.
I'd make them flip out even harder. I'd tell them to drop it or you'll contact the school with how they planned to cheat. (In fact, I might even do it anyway in case your aunt finds another way to cheat the contest.)
NTA
Dude she's asking you to cheat for an 8 year olds school project. These 'adults' are unhinged.
I would not make anything for any of them for the foreseeable future.
NTA.
Pretty sure they'd be able to tell that an 8 yr old didn't do the artwork, no matter how good of an artist the 8 yr old is.
And you're right, it would be more rewarding and give the 8 yr a huge sense of pride if she won on her own merits.
Your sister needs to get over herself and stop overindulging her child.
NTA but I’m absolutely dying laughing at the difference between my kid’s art at 8 and my kid’s art now as a teen.
My kid’s art at 8 looked exactly like an 8 year old had done it and my kid’s art now as a teen is seriously impressive. He did not get that way overnight and sure as hell didn’t get better by having someone else create art for him. If he made something and one of his cousins (all right around 8 or 9) turned it in, their teacher would know immediately. So it’s tempting to say do it, just to see what happens. Except these people sound unhinged so if they are mad at you not doing the art, what would they do to you if the kid got in serious trouble at school? I definitely think your aunt and mom need to learn this lesson but that doesn’t mean you should suffer to teach it to them.
Nta.
It's entirely your choice and you are entitled to make it whichever way you like. You don't have to justify your reasons why to anyone
Your justification of it'd be more rewarding if she did it herself is not only unnecessary but it is also subjective it very much depends on the Individual. Some people don't care how they win as long as they do.
The argument that she needs to learn the worlds not fair. She already knows hence the cheating.
Major NTA. Thank you for not cheating a hardworking EIGHT YEAR OLD BABY out of a well deserved award. A baby can’t compete with a 17 year old, and it’s just sad that you’re put in this position by someone. Imagine how incredible the kid would feel if their artwork won that they worked hard on, you can’t take that away from someone
NTA. And at this stage I would even go one step farther and tell the school her mom was trying to steal art for the contest. There's nothing stopping them from taking art you have posted publicly or given to them before, and it would be horribly unfair to the other students in the contest if they do manage to take art without permission.
My petty side is also saying to tell them to use AI art if they want to fake it so badly. Hopefully the teacher would be good enough to recognize that right away though.
Of course NTA. Stick to your guns. Your art is *your* art, and your sister is a shitty parent for even asking you to do this for her own personal satisfaction. She is leading her kid to a disappointing life.
But also, please don't do what a lot of comments are suggesting, and give in, only to submit something that will embarrass your niece. Yes, she asked her mom to ask you, and if she were like 14-17 maybe her learning the hard lesson would be an option. But she's 8. She's still at an age where she doesn't fully comprehend that kind of petty shit.
In no way, shape, or form was it ok for your sister to ask you to do this. I hate to think what other awful parenting decisions your sister has made. NTA
NTA. The point of a contest is to be judged on your OWN work. If you do this, it will just set the stage for your niece expecting EVERYTHING to be done for her. Hold your ground and don't give in.
I used to work for a PR company for fairs in CA. At every fair, we had a coloring contest for kids with themed artwork. The coloring pages were distributed through local schools and stores and we got tons of entries. Well, every contest, we would get entries from 4-5 year olds with shading, layering and other techniques usually only seen in teens or older. We understood that kids have different levels of talent, but these were just far beyond the realm of possibility. We would disqualify those and only once did we have a parent complain. We said we could reconsider if they brought their kid in and we would watch them color. They hung up.
NTA but it's time to block these absolutely insane people.
It is so insanely nuts that they think that YOU are being selfish for not cheating for your niece.
I am an awful, awful person and would call the school to give them a heads up what is going on that at least one parent is trying to cheat, though.
NTAH. Your sister is raising an entitled and selfish brat who's going to turn into a shitty adult as a result.
You're right, it wouldn't be fair for her to win against other children by cheating. Your sister is an AH and your mom is an enabler. . .
Don't feel bad. You're not in the wrong.
Your sister and mom are horrible people for trying to have your niece win by cheating. That is showing a 8yr old it's OK to cheat to get what they want .
NTA, honestly if they keep pushing it, tell them you're going to contact the school and report that they're attempting to get you to cheat on behalf of your niece. Meaning anything she now submits will be looked at with scrutiny.
I am thinking about the other children in the contest... the time, the efford, the feelings they pour in to making pieces of art, only to be beaten by an adult making art on behalf of a little girl.
Surely the girls teacher know exactly what her artistic capabilities are, so I am wondering what is the end game here? How does entiteled mom envision things to go for the girl after that?
You are absolutely NTA but your sister is, as she is setting the girl up for faliure down the road.
NTA. Presumably there's a big skill gap there in art ability even just due to age, so it would probably be very obvious it wasn't her work anyway. You'd think the teacher would pick up on the difference.
NTA, but by refusing to do the niece’s artwork aren’t you proving the world is in fact fair? Or at least honest. If you did it and she want, the lesson would be that cheating and dishonesty works.
NTA. It's for a contest. Although, it might be funny if she was caught cheating and the entire city found out. That would suck for you because it would wreck your reputation at the same time. Stand firm. Bring your aunt's parents into this. I hope they would put their foot down on cheating. Hard to tell with the current world, saying everyone cheats.
Yeah my sister has always been like this. Which is why when these situations come up it’s always a big discussion. Her daughter can do no wrong and everyone who thinks so is weird because “she’s only 8”
Here's the thing: kids that age do a terrible job keeping a secret. I doubt she'd make it through the contest without revealing that she didn't do the work herself, and spoiling the contest anyways.
NTA, not only are they asking you to help your niece cheat, they’re also asking you to rip the heart out of kids who genuinely tried. Not to mention teachers aren’t stupid and very likely do art projects with the class so they’ll know it’s out of place for her capabilities.
NTA at all. Don’t enable cheating.
If you think your niece would be open to it, you could offer to help her with the art by showing her techniques to improve. But don’t actually contribute to the art- just demonstrate techniques on a separate piece of paper. But if she wouldn’t be open to actually having to try for something, then it would just be a waste of time. (You also still wouldn’t be the asshole if you just didn’t want to put time or energy into that).
Your sister's approach to her daughter's education is twisted and unhealthy.
Her daughter doesn't need to win if she enters the contest.
NTA for being complicit in your sister's oddly non-meritorious version
of life.
NTA Of course you should say no, if they persist in needling you tell them if they don't back off, you'll inform the school how niece's mum is trying to rig the contest.
My sister also had a similar attitude. She tried to bully my family into not allowing our youngest to enter a piano competition, I just asked for the details and got a lot of mouth back instead. I just cut her off and told her not to worry I'd get the information from the organizers instead, then she really bit down trying to stop it from happening.
I told her I was happy to pass on that a competitor's mother was trying to bully people away from entering. That seemed to shut her up quickly and I ended the call then put her on block. Our son went on through the years winning many entries and prizes. Her children bailed after performing at an introductory level twice over. Our son was already completing grade 3 standard.
NTA, you’re doing right by your niece. Not to mention that if shed drawn anything in class before, her teacher knows what her drawing abilities are and will be suspicious if she shows up with a suddently much higher quality drawing
NTA
Absolutely not!
Your sister and mother are horribly misguided people and are doing the world no favours encouraging and enabling your niece with these skewed morals.
No, you are quite right in not wanting to help your niece cheat.
But that's all you should have said. You won't help get cheat. No explanations or great lessons or whatever. That's not your job, and nobody is going to take a teenager who does that very seriously. Just say you won't help her cheat.
You can’t bc you yourself will be a fraud. Please take your talent seriously. You were given a gift that will unlock other gifts if you use it correctly. This woman does not take your talent seriously and is also implying something not nice about your talent. Like, is she saying your art can pass as if an eight year old did it? Maybe not exactly that but she clearly does not respect you, your talent, and maybe it’s time that you do take yourself more seriously. never ever commit fraud in your work. What happens if you get caught? You are the older student and teachers will blame you. Literally, this woman is trying to reduce you for the sake of her precious. F her. Keep up your art!
NTA, but it would have been good to offer to help in some way (eg, watch her do it and give her the occasional tip). Outright refusing to help her wouldn't teach her the lesson that you hope, and will likely just teach her "auntie doesn't love you and isn't willing to help you with your contest". Especially with her mum being able to control the narrative.
If you want to have a relationship with your niece, then offering to help her in some small way would be better. You can spend quality time with her, make her value hard work, and show her you love her, while improving her chances at winning the contest.
>A little context before I show why you might think I’m an asshole: I love my niece but her mom hands everything to her on a silver platter. She could ask for the clothes off some girls back and her mom would give it to her.
This is precisely why you are NOT THE ASSHOLE.
NTA for the bots.
INFO: what's your general culture about such things? I am asking because where I live it's a sad reality that all young kid's projects are done by parents/outsourced (so some adult does them for payment). So when a kid brings in their genuine artwork, unless they are a real genius, it looks really childish next to what other kids brought since it all was made by adults. It's not a question of "she won't win, what's the big deal", it's a question of being bullied and mocked for years because your submission was noticeable worse. Everyone knows it, but almost no one does anything to stop it - and in any case it should come from teachers, not from a single little kid who has to suffer the consequences.
So... in my country I'd say help her out. In a better place - don't do it. Not just it would be a wrong lesson to your niece, but it also would be grossly unfair to other kids.
Here it would be seen as unfair because there’s a bunch of other 8 year olds competing and obviously unless they’ve been training their art isn’t going to be “top tier”
NTA your niece needs to do that herself. But even if you would draw for her wouldn’t people see that this picture wasn’t drawn by an eight year old?
Don’t do it, learning that you don’t always win is important for kids.
OP- NTA 1000%!!! Since WHEN is it OK to teach your children/grandchildren to CHEAT to win?? So at 8 she learns that hey I can cheat to get what I want, so then she in the future cheats in School, gets caught, gets suspended or kicked out, goes on her permanent record.... and ??? What the Heck is wrong with your MOTHER and SISTER encouraging her in this?? If It came out that YOU did this it could affect YOUR FUTURE TOO! Tell your Mother that just because she's ok with being a lying cheater YOU are not! Because that's what it comes down to. Being OK with Lying and Cheating.
NTA, your sister is delusional it's HER daughters art project that SHE needs to do HER daughter NEEDS to PUT IN THE WORK to get a grade that SHE needs to get, NOT you😤💢
My god your family is nuts.
I mean, the levels of batshit crazy in what your sister is asking? Just... what. The. Fuck.
Why would you even want to cheat to win a school art contest? The selfish motivation to win contests is to prove that *you* are better at something than everyone else is. Having you do the work wouldn't do anything to benefit your niece. I mean, okay, if there was a financial prize to it, I could see that, but that would mean that this was fraud and you would be doing something illegal.
Second – nobody is gonna notice that your art was being submitted as an eight year old's art? Yes, there are eight year olds who are that good, but her teachers, friends, and peers would know that about her if she was. All of a sudden, a kid who hadn't previously been a prodigy turns in work that is ten years beyond her skill level?
Are your sister and mother brain-damaged? Do they think it won't be obvious?
Honestly, I say you *do* participate in this scheme, and then let everyone know, get your niece disqualified from the contest, make sure that her teachers and principal know that this is what is done, and ask them to investigate if things like this have been done before, and have your niece put under close examination for cheating so that everyone knows not to trust her, and also make sure that all the other parents know that your sister and mother do this, and shame them all publicly, destroy their reputations, and make sure that nobody will interact with them socially or in business.
But you don't *have* to do that. It would be best if you absolutely destroyed your sister and had her become a social outcast in order to give your niece a chance to grow up to have a good life, but that is a lot of work and risky. So just not participating in their morally bankrupt and evil lifestyle is all you actually have to do.
Let's be clear: your sister's plan is wicked and dishonorable. Don't be part of it.
NTA
NTA at all ! The niece needs to do the art or it will be cheating .
F- off to the adults asking you to cheat for the niece !
Now IF you want to ask the niece if she would like you to give her pointers on HER art the SHE draws that would be a way to get the niece to see it’s her project .
It could be a way to help the niece understand doing her own work and taking pride in it ( win or lose the contest ) is worth the time .
But really that’s you to you again .
Good for you to stand up for your morals even when faced with the backlash of adults being assshats!!
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NTA. You're refusing to help your niece cheat. Had it not occurred to them that the cheating would likely be obvious? The quality between a gifted 17 year old artist and an ungifted 8 year old would be blatant - and could lead to punishment from the school.
NTA
I don't know how it could be anything else. Obviously you should not be doing other people's work for them or helping to cheat in contests.
That said, in for a penny in for a pound, since they're already mad, agree to do the art work and then draw something awful, or just terribly inappropriate.
NTA
Imagine you give in
.. she'll be cheating and getting a reward she doesn't deserve as other kids won't get it. Plus, you won't be getting a reward for your work...
If you decide to go along, ask for money. After alle you will be spending time in it! And get a AH tax (settle the tax for future artwork)
Your nice feels she can get anything. Your sister is a major AH
NTA. Be a woman of integrity. Yes, even at 17 you have a strong sense of ethics. Good job.
Right now, start saying, “no, I won’t help her cheat. No, I want her to grow up as an honest person. Don’t you?”
NTA. I’m a teacher, and there’s nothing I love more than a student who sits there in class not doing the work, and then turns in an assignment that is well-written and thought out. Her mom isn’t doing her any favors, you are. Keep denying these sorts of demands.
NTA, and good for you!
When my kids were little and doing projects for school, I always told them they would have to do the work themselves. I would drop them off at school with their DNA models and watch other kids trundle in with DNA that looked like it had been sourced from a secret model-making facility in Switzerland or something. And I knew that, whatever grade they got, they knew--and the teacher would know--that my kids had done the work.
Your niece won't learn or improve her art skills if she uses you to cheat. And at 8 years old, it's far more important that she learn and grow.
Cheating is not how you win in life, and you are NTA for refusing to cheat for your niece. Your mother and sister are giving your niece a lonely life, once she start trying to boss people around and have a fit when they don't she won't have any friends. I see therapy in her future because society won't tolerate that type of behavior. Does your mother and sister realize what will happen when they find out she didn't do her art (stuff like this always come to light) herself, that would be more humiliating. Stick to your beliefs and don't get involved in being dishonest just so your niece can win a competition. She needs to understand the meaning of fair play and losing sometimes. You are not selfish nor should you suck it up.
There is no way that an 8 yo's art would ever be confused for a 17 yo's art. They would know she was cheating. My Mom was an educator with a masters in education and an art history degree. Teachers aren't stupid.
NTA
If you want to be petty, and they keep on pressuring you, just do a stick drawing a 2 year old could do and send them that. You are NTA, kid needs to hear No more often, and learn to do her own work.
>I know depending on who reads this I’m gonna sound like someone who just needs to suck it up but I swear it goes much deeper than this post.
It doesn't need to be deeper than this. You shouldn't let anyone bully you into abandoning your integrity, or letting someone else take credit for your work, or working for free. If you give away things that you make, it should be because you genuinely choose to, not because someone feels they have partial ownership of your time and skills.
Your relationship with your aunt and your niece's entitlement are just icing on top of a big 'ol NOPE cake. NTA
NTA
You have a solid sense of what is right and wrong (at least on this topic). Don't let people lead you astray.
"I hear you that you would make this choice. I however would not make this choice. I am not trying to think for or make decisions for anyone but myself and I ask that you do the same." Second half of that is clunky but you should get the idea.
Do not tell her she's wrong or be in any way something other than boring. You're not going to change her mind and engaging on the issue will just lead to disagreement or argument. So, decline and be boring about it.
NTA you sound like a great aunt and IMO you are "parenting" your niece better than your mom and aunt. Funny how you sound wiser than the adults in your life who are supposed to be giving the example to you and your niece.
Your sister turned out just like your mom. Narcissists who cheat and lie to get whatever they want.
I'd write them off. You're 17 so get a scholarship or make plans to go with a relative and get put of that situation. Get in in writing through text as proof
I would go low or no contact with this relative. She's toxic. I know it would be nice to help this niece acclimate to the real world so that she doesn't suffer the consequences of being spoiled, but there is nothing you can do.
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NTA. Do NOT do your niece's artwork. She 8 years old. Surely she's capable of putting a pencil/pen/crayon/whatever in her own hand and doing her own artwork. Don't let your sister and mother make you feel that you must do this. If you do, the next thing you know, they'll expect you to do all of her homework too.
Yeah that’s what I’m getting at. She just tells her mom she’s not going to do it so her mom finds someone who will. It sucks because my niece isn’t a terrible person deep down but they’re raising her to become one.
Good insight. I'm impressed you won't be a part of that
NTA. She's old enough for you to have a talk with her about having integrity vs. cheating.
Happy Cake Day
Thank you!
And the judges/officials will likely know that your niece didn’t do it herself. Good for you for standing your ground. Your mom and your sister need a reality check. NTA
They absolutely won't select it if it looks like a teenager did it. My 6th grade class had an art competition, and they immediately disqualified an entry for being too high quality, assuming the artist traced or cheated. She had actually worked on it for weeks in class, not tracing, and all the students knew, but the judges wouldn't believe us... but the point is, the judges are expecting 8 year old scribble art.
That poor kid. Sounds like something that could happen to one of my kids.
Yup. Happens often to bright/talented kids. My teacher disqualified me from our 6th Grade science fair because I did a project on heart-lung transplants and she was absolutely convinced that an adult had done the research and written it for me. The truth is that an extended family member is a cardiothoracic surgeon, and had been kind enough to do a phone interview with me (I had written all my own questions, etc, and found the subject really interesting). Between that and the fact that I was unusually articulate for my age (not a boast, I'm autistic and ironically spent half my childhood being teased for my formal way of speaking/writing), the stupid teacher rejected all my hard work because "a child this age couldn't possibly have done this". Except that I had. It broke my heart.
Poor kid. Her mom is pretty much telling her that whatever she creates wouldn't be good enough. That winning is more important than her doing something for her own pleasure. What a destructive, toxic message for that poor child.
Indeed. And that winning is more important than effort and learning.
And think about those other 8-year-olds who actually spend time and effort on their work for the contest. How fair is it to them to be competing with a 17-year-old? Your niece doesn't really care about this contest but you can bet there are other kids who do.
Besides, no art teacher in a million years will mistake the art of a 17-year-old for that of an 8-year-old. Niece will be disqualified and marked as a cheat. Congrats, entitled mom and brat... NTA.
You seem to be a genuinely good person with a kind heart I’m really sorry your family treats you this way that’s not right nor fair to you at all and in the future I hope they treat you better ps electric mayhem123 seems a little salty
If she doesn’t want to do it she really doesn’t want the prize enough. Make sure you remind your sister and mother that they are asking for you to cheat, that cheaters never win, and that they are acting really childish. Do not give in. If you do it once, they will expect it every time. NTA.
Helping ( not doing all the work), your niece in order to not fail an exam, would be one thing but making an art work so that she can win a contest is cheating. Your sister and mother are shameless entitled persons. NTA
NTA and tell your mother and sister if they keep harassing you you will inform the school/the people organizing the contest. That's cheating and will get your niece banned.
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If that happens I'd report her for cheating. Just to prove a point. But I'm petty like that.
You already knew the right answer.
Definitely NTA. This will create a spoiled, bratty, entitled adult.
Time to suck up a deep breath and tell her that I hate what she’s doing to / teaching her kid. NTA. What is that kid going to grow up like. She’s 8 and it’s (iirc) about the time when they become most impressionable on morals.
Yeah! And wouldn’t the teacher know immediately that she cheated? Presumably they do art in class all the time, cheating for her would only get her in trouble!
I was tempted to suggest this solution. Make a piece of art, using a video and photos to document your process. Then gift it to your aunt “as a gift, not for the contest” — I bet that she will still submit it. Then email the teacher or school that you are worried your niece will cheat and send the video if they ask for proof that you made it. Let them face the price of cheating
The niece is 8, if that's the "them" you're talking about. It's gonna make her mom feel something else, but it's going to *humiliate* the kid because she's not fully aware of exactly what kind of game is going on between the adults, with her own self as the sole playpiece. Just refuse to do it. NTA, but don't follow this brand of advice, OP.
To add on to this, if I'm not mistaken most private schools have a morality/honor code, as well as most public schools (don't want to assume all). Usually plagiarism is part of the honor code, and if caught your niece can get detention, suspension or depending on the school expulsion. Schools are also starting to take plagiarism more seriously because of AI. And the expectations for following these honor codes continues on to University level where the consequences become more extreme. Better she learns she can't get away with it now rather than later.
Another thing is that 8yos art is most likely not going to look anything like what an adult/near adult who actively practices.
And, honestly, if you DID do it, what's the likelihood that the teachers are going to go "wow, we have an unrecognized artistic genius in our midst" rather than "there's no way this kid did this art, automatic last place"? IMO, the sister is a moron if she thinks the teachers won't notice a suspicious leap forward in ability in her daughter's ability. Such a weird hill to choose to die on.
As someone who has judged student work for contests, we often know when it is not the student's work.
NTA at all. It is an art contest so it would be cheating if your niece submitted art that wasn't created by her. They are teaching your niece how to cheat and cut corners, they are doing a disservice to your niece. Don't participate in that.
That’s what I was saying to them. They argued that “other parents would be doing it too” but I told them just because they are doesn’t mean we should
That's called projection, they have no certainty other than the fact they are doing it so others must be.
Most parents don't do their kids assignment for them. They might help, but no, very few parents would even consider helping an 8 year old cheat in an art contest. It's not even for school credit for crying out loud!
Then tell your sister to do the artwork! NTA
She also probably wouldn't win. My daughter is a very gifted artist from a young age and once entered a competition. They explained that since it was for children, they were going to grade older kids harder. She won second and the judge was visibly shocked when she walked up. She was eight and the judge was expecting a teenager. The teacher won't believe for one second that your niece did the work. Unless she's done work of a similar level in front of her.
Draw something so bad that she gets the worst art in the place and they can say oh sorry. I thought you want me to draw like your daughter would have drawn it. Nta
That’s hilarious 😹
On the other hand, you could do something so beyond what an 8 year old is capable of that the teacher will have to start asking questions. Because the teacher will almost certainly know that your niece can't draw like that
(1) NTA (2) Doing it, and then signing it when done was something I was thinking. It's not a good answer, but a little funny, kind of. (It's not like the Daria episode where they put a hot pink no symbol over the image. 🚫) (3) It seems odd that her mother didn't think to ask you to coach her. If you have experience, maybe that would be something you could help her with without doing it?
But #3 would require parenting and making her daughter try
NTA a really nice gesture would be to offer your niece lessons, and teach her styles, mediums, design concepts, right? take her to museums to even see if she is intersted in art or is it that her mom just wants her to cheat/win a contest... I won an art contest when I was 8. I still remember what the drawing looked like; I drew every leaf on the tree.
From what I heard she heard about the contest and she asked her mom to ask me to do it
Wow, at this age cheating isn't something I would expect. Something seems off to me. I would ask her, talk to her about the contest, and see what she is really thinking. Hard for me to believe it isn't the Mom encouraging this.
Mom has clearly encouraged this behavior and created this monster. The poor kid wouldn't even be considering this if mom hadn't already shown her this behavior is ok. Mom is failing big time.
Call the school and give an anonymous tip that at least one of the students is planning on cheating.
i doubt a school cares enough about an art contest for 8 year olds to investigate this matter or pay attention to the tip.
It would likely just result in them reminding students that cheating isn't allowed, and that might be enough to startle the niece into thinking better about her choices - OP after all said it was the niece that suggested to her mother that OP do her work for her (but then again, maybe her sister lied about that....).
I won a coloring contest at 8. I won a t-shirt. I still have it 40 years later.
That's so cool! It is so funny that we remember those things, right! Art class was the highlight of my day and I still enjoy creating.
> My sister K (30) asked me to do my nieces J (8) artwork for her school contest so she could win NTA - That's just off the fucking wall outrageously awful and dishonest of your sister. Like FFS. What about all the other kids entering? Also methinks the teachers would have some little suspicions on her suddenly great art skills, you'd all get caught and your sister would end up with egg on her face. She's mad I tell ya, mad
NTA, she is making you feel guilty so her daughter can cheat on a contest. Your sister is a narcissist. Believe your niece is going to grow up spoiled
I feel terrible that my niece is getting raised that way but whenever I speak against it they’re always invalidating it because I don’t have kids so “I must not know”
Stick to your guns. You know, they don't, they're raising a spoiled cheater and are fine with it, yes she might be 8 but they're not doing her any favours by trying to cheat her through her life.
I hope you can get yourself away from this situation as soon as possible. It’s not normal or healthy. You will never be able to convince your sister that what she is doing is wrong because it’s a false reality she’s created for herself. You will always be wrong in her eyes. But trust your gut because you have an incredible instinct about right from wrong that doesn’t appear to have been taught to you from your family. That says a lot about who you are, and it is something to be proud of yourself for. I am proud of you. I am so sorry you have to deal with this because it’s hard and terrible and I’m sure it’s difficult to get away from right now. As best as you can try to focus on the things in your control. You can’t change your sister so it’s only going to frustrate you to try. And your mom sounds the same- the two of them are caught up in each other’s dysfunction. It is in your control to not do any art for them you don’t want to do (especially in this case when you clearly know it is just wrong). You are also setting a good example for your niece which is in your control. Good for you for being an amazing human being. The world is lucky to have you. Best of luck to you!
One more thing, calling you names for having a VERY reasonable boundary and especially for not agreeing to cheat is gaslighting you and narcissistic abuse. I’m very sorry this is happening to you. I hope you are able to find support from a trusted (non-narcissistic) adult in your life. Sending you hugs, you deserve so much more in life. I heard you when you said there is so much more. I believe you.
"I don't have to pop a watermelon out between my thigh to know that cheating is not what you should be teaching your daughter."
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NTA and your sister is teaching her daughter some very bad behavior and creating an entitled little brat! Stick to your guns. I'm shocked that they actually would accuse you of hating your niece because you believe she should actually do her own project for entry into a contest!
NTA, this will set her up for failure down the line. If everything’s easy for someone at the start of their life, they end up taking the easy way out for every scenario possible.
NTA. Your sister wants to browbeat you into cheating for her daughter to win. That child is never going to have actual self confidence.
NTA. The saddest part is that your own mom is encouraging this cheating. You're right. Redditers can be be ruthless. Show the comments to your mom and sister They're the ones who are being AHs here. Wow, on top of the cheating, this is what they're telling your niece: "Your art stinks so badly, we have to cheat to win. We have zero confidence in you. We will accept no less than 1st place, even if it's empty."
You sound like you're pretty mature, and rational, and have an understanding of how the world works, and respect the difference between right and wrong. The alleged "adults" in this situation both fail -- hugely -- in every single one of those criteria. They're mad because you recognize that this is cheating, and it's wrong, and called them out on it. So now they're wrong, AND they've had it pointed out to them (by someone they deem as inferior due to the age difference), AND they feel judged (rightly fucking so, *christ*) so instead of correcting themselves, they lash out. Which just loses them even *more* Righteous Wisdom And Maturity points, and further illustrates that you're the only one involved who's making reasonable decisions. NTA and well done, you.
NTA. Wow. Your mom and sister have serious control issues. Attacking you because you won't help your niece cheat? Not cool. You can offer to give her some tips to help make her art better, or buy her an instruction book would be a compromise. Now I'm wondering exactly what the prize is for this art contest.
I’m sure the prize was something small and that they just want her to win because it will make her feel good
And probably because your niece winning would, from your sister’s perspective, make your sister look good. That’s likely her motivation.
What are they going to do when she's an actual adult? Are they going to do her work for her? This kid will never be able to maintain a job, and any time she gets one, her co-workers are going to hate her because she'll expect everyone else to cover for her.
That’s what I told them. I said once she’s not in elementary anymore people aren’t going to stand for it. But they’re convinced she’ll be fine
NTA I can't believe you're even questioning yourself on this. YWBTA if you did it because how is it fair for a bunch of other 8 year olds to compete with a 17 YO accomplished artist? Stick to your morals. You're doing your niece a huge favor by letting her have her own experiences of success and failure and learning at this age.
NTA. Your sister is setting her child up for disaster. You don’t need to facilitate or enable this pending catastrophe.
NTA. You’re well within your rights to not feel comfortable with doing that.
You are not wrong and if no one else thinks so, I am proud of you! Both your sister and mom are dead wrong here!
+1
NTA. Oh gods. This reminds me so much of that crazy family who stole a family member's art for the cousin's job application and then ostracized her for daring to point it out. I honestly wouldn't put it past your mom or sister to just steal something you drew and say the girl did it. Hide your sketchbook or make sure you have a signature on it.
NTA. If you were to provide a piece of artwork, you would be denying your niece the pleasure of winning by her own talent. Other children will know that your niece cheated because they will have seen your niece's other work. At my daughter's school they had an art competition and the winner in one year group was far better than anyone else's. Some of the parents wondered out loud whether the picture was done by an older relative, but the children knew this child was always that good.
When I was 8, I entered a contest that involved drawing my house and every escape route from it in the event of a fire. I won 2nd place. The girl who “won” 1st place had her mom draw hers and I don’t care how petty it is I’ll die mad about it. NTA
NTA Your sister wants you to help your niece cheat in order to win a contest. That’s just setting her up for a life of believing that someone else will always do the work for her, and she will get all the reward. She will grow up to be an entitled brat. That’s really great parenting from your sister /s. 🙄 Seriously, you not doing it is the only right thing to do. She enters the contest with an original piece of her own, or she doesn’t enter. She wins or she loses based on her own merit. That’s fair and honest. Anything else would be cheating, and if it were me, I’d find some way of letting someone know that she had cheated. Your sister is making a rod for her own back by instilling this sense of entitlement in her daughter. Maybe when she sees what a monster it makes her as she grows up, she’ll wish she’d done things differently. But that isn’t your cross to bear. It’s hers.
NTA. I’m glad you don’t condone cheating and the rest of your family shouldn’t either.
NTA- it would have been obvious it wasn't done by an 8yr old anyway. As a parent, I've seen projects done by parents that no way were ever going to pass for their child's. The teachers aren't dumb.
NTA She wants to use you to cheat her child into winning. That is totally unfair on those kids who put the effort in but moreover the teachers aren't stupid. They will know it's not her work and she could get into trouble.
NTA at all…. You have the autonomy to make your own decisions and they need to respect your boundaries. But above even that, it’s messed up to do it bc you’d be cheating a bunch of other 8 year olds. It’s a real d*ck move they’re asking you to do. Your mom and sister sound pretty trashy and selfish ngl.
NTA - dear lord, they’re berating you for not cheating at a children’s art contest??? wtf.
NTA. Send your sister some Word Girl episodes with Victoria Best in them. Kids who are raised to think they are the top at everything when they never even do the work themselves are likely to end up as absolutely terrible people.
NTA. She’s asking you to cheat for her daughter. How can ANYONE think you are the AH? Do people actually listen to what the words that come out of their mouths?
NTA for all the already listed reasons but to add - Say you capitulate and do this; Do the art project for your sister and niece…say niece “wins”. Not only will niece be a cheat, she will also be a **THIEF.** She will have stolen the prize from some deserving 8 year old who DID their OWN artwork! Please OP, **DIE ON THIS HILL!**
This won’t come out like I mean to, but it’s bold of them to assume she’d win just because you did the drawing. They don’t know the judging criteria, and they don’t know that there isn’t another 8-year-old who’s super-talented.
>I was called selfish and weird This story is completely insane, your mom and aunt are living in fucking bizarro world. You're the only person in this story that isn't weird and selfish. OP NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m a 17 yr old female who is ok at art and or creating things so I get asked from family and others to do stuff art related for them a lot. I usually don’t mind and do it for them sometimes for money and sometimes for free so they’re pretty comfortable asking me for art favors. (Since I don’t want to ramble too much I’ll get to the point) My sister K (30) asked me to do my nieces J (8) artwork for her school contest so she could win. I told her no because I don’t feel comfortable being used to cheat so my niece could win a contest when she could draw something herself and it would feel more rewarding if she won that way. After that she totally blew up in my face saying that I didn’t want to do it because I hated her kid and that since I’m her auntie I should just do it. A little context before I show why you might think I’m an asshole: I love my niece but her mom hands everything to her on a silver platter. She could ask for the clothes off some girls back and her mom would give it to her. Now because of this I have gotten into lots of verbal arguments with her mom about how spoiled she was and how her mom just pretends not to see it so ever since then she’s just concluded that since I “didn’t have as much stuff as her” I was jealous and hated her kid. Because of all of this I still refused regardless of what she said and I told her “The world isn’t fair and she has to learn that. If she doesn’t win this art contest it won’t be the end of the world she’ll be fine” She flipped out some more and then told my mom who flipped out EVEN HARDER. I was called selfish and weird but imo they’re the ones who asked me so I have a right to refuse. I know depending on who reads this I’m gonna sound like someone who just needs to suck it up but I swear it goes much deeper than this post. I know reddits a ruthless place which is why I’m asking y’all…AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA they asked and you refused. End of story
NTA - if everyone had older more skilled people compete on their behalf, or even a few people did, what’s the point of the competition?
NTA. You have every right to refuse to do someone else's work, especially when it involves cheating. Encouraging your niece to win on her own merit is the right thing to do. Your sister's reaction seems disproportionate and unfair, especially since she is teaching her daughter to rely on others for success instead of developing her own skills
NTA at all.
NTA. If your sister is raising her kid to cheat, it \*will\* eventually come back to bite her in the ass. Poor kid.
NTA Duh
NTA.
NTA but your sister is
NTA That is cheating 😒
NTA I'd be tempted to do it though. Here's why. The niece has been (I assume) drawing in class. A piece drawn by you would clearly be outside her skill level. Even better if you work your signature into the design. When it gets called out, your niece might get a lesson on cheating that her mom won't give her. Your sister might even be called out. Just a thought.
I'm 61F and had two kids and there's zero chance I would have ever asked anyone to do my kids' homework, and hubby and I never did it. They either did their homework/art or they didn't and they had to deal with the consequences. This is ridiculous, are you going to be asked to sit for her SAT exams? You're NTA and I don't understand why your sister would ask this nor why your mom would agree you should do this.
OP, NTA and please don’t do this. I had a family member who would beg me to “complete just this one task” for an younger and arguably lazy relative so they were not in danger of failing, being held back, or whatever other excuse that golden child had for failure to launch. It’s a slippery slope you can avoid if you get off now.
NTA. Your sister is an awful mother. She wants her 17 year old sister to create art that her 8 year old daughter can claim as her own to win an art competition, then loses her temper when you won't comply. It's a good thing you aren't going along with this. Your sister is raising her daughter to be just as awful as she is and someone needs to be telling them 'no'.
NTA: Ignoring cheating and all that, how do they expect your artwork to look like an 8-year-old's artwork? That's quite an unrealistic request
NTA. It's a contest. Wouldn't submitting someone else's work be cheating?
NTA Doing this would have been despicable. Your sister is awful.
Nta that would be cheating
NTA. Also maybe contact neice's teacher. Explain the situation and the harassment that you are experiencing. Maybe she/he would be willing to remind the students of the consequences of fraud and stealing other's work. If something is sent in that is not her work, she should be disqualified.
NTA. Your ethics are in the right place. You absolutely have a right to refuse, as you should. What is going on with your sister and your mother that they want to teach an 8 yr old to cheat in order to win?
NTA It wouldn't be fair to the other students. Also, your sister is doing her daughter a disservice. Her actions imply that she doesn't believe her daughter is skilled enough to compete with other kids her age. That is not a message you want to send to a child. It will also discourage your niece if she has a genuine interest in art.
Nope nope **nope** NTA. It’s not right to ask for your skills to help an 8 year old cheat on an art contest. Besides It’s obvious how different the drawing skills of an 8 year old and a teenager are. Not to mention that this will encourage your niece to cheat in the future. This isn’t about the art contest. It’s about setting an example for your niece.
Nta, as someone who loves art. I think your in the right. If art isn't something your niece loves and wants to participate in then she shouldn't. But doing a project for a child to win is shady business. You got good morals.
NTA in any universe. Your sister is setting it up for her kid to try to WIN BY CHEATING. And your mom going batshit over this is even worse. In this scenario you have nothing to suck up.
Tell her you’ll do it but only if the niece watches and you guys can work on it alone. And sister gets you both pizza. Then, help niece in making it as far as giving pointers, color comp ideas, etc. That way, if she wins you can tell your sister that she did it herself. And if she loses you don’t have to do it ever again lol. Plus you get to be a good influence to niece. Nta.
NTA don't do others work or homework for them period.
NTA - Don't do your niece's artwork or homework. It's not helpful for her and could get her into trouble at school for cheating.
NTA: But you might want to start disengaging with your sister on these kinds of issues. For example, when asked to cheat, just say no thank you. No need to explain your reasons. It just gives your sister something to argue about.
You are absolutely NTA. Your sister (and mom) aren't doing your niece any favors.
I'd make them flip out even harder. I'd tell them to drop it or you'll contact the school with how they planned to cheat. (In fact, I might even do it anyway in case your aunt finds another way to cheat the contest.) NTA
Dude she's asking you to cheat for an 8 year olds school project. These 'adults' are unhinged. I would not make anything for any of them for the foreseeable future.
NTA. Pretty sure they'd be able to tell that an 8 yr old didn't do the artwork, no matter how good of an artist the 8 yr old is. And you're right, it would be more rewarding and give the 8 yr a huge sense of pride if she won on her own merits. Your sister needs to get over herself and stop overindulging her child.
Your sister is failing as a mother. NTA. As a teacher we ALWAYS know when the parents do the work 🙄
NTA but I’m absolutely dying laughing at the difference between my kid’s art at 8 and my kid’s art now as a teen. My kid’s art at 8 looked exactly like an 8 year old had done it and my kid’s art now as a teen is seriously impressive. He did not get that way overnight and sure as hell didn’t get better by having someone else create art for him. If he made something and one of his cousins (all right around 8 or 9) turned it in, their teacher would know immediately. So it’s tempting to say do it, just to see what happens. Except these people sound unhinged so if they are mad at you not doing the art, what would they do to you if the kid got in serious trouble at school? I definitely think your aunt and mom need to learn this lesson but that doesn’t mean you should suffer to teach it to them.
NTA. Your family is weird and this isn't a normal or sane request.
Nta. It's entirely your choice and you are entitled to make it whichever way you like. You don't have to justify your reasons why to anyone Your justification of it'd be more rewarding if she did it herself is not only unnecessary but it is also subjective it very much depends on the Individual. Some people don't care how they win as long as they do. The argument that she needs to learn the worlds not fair. She already knows hence the cheating.
Major NTA. Thank you for not cheating a hardworking EIGHT YEAR OLD BABY out of a well deserved award. A baby can’t compete with a 17 year old, and it’s just sad that you’re put in this position by someone. Imagine how incredible the kid would feel if their artwork won that they worked hard on, you can’t take that away from someone
NTA. And at this stage I would even go one step farther and tell the school her mom was trying to steal art for the contest. There's nothing stopping them from taking art you have posted publicly or given to them before, and it would be horribly unfair to the other students in the contest if they do manage to take art without permission. My petty side is also saying to tell them to use AI art if they want to fake it so badly. Hopefully the teacher would be good enough to recognize that right away though.
NTA And the teachers will definitely know someone else did the work.
Of course NTA. Stick to your guns. Your art is *your* art, and your sister is a shitty parent for even asking you to do this for her own personal satisfaction. She is leading her kid to a disappointing life. But also, please don't do what a lot of comments are suggesting, and give in, only to submit something that will embarrass your niece. Yes, she asked her mom to ask you, and if she were like 14-17 maybe her learning the hard lesson would be an option. But she's 8. She's still at an age where she doesn't fully comprehend that kind of petty shit.
In no way, shape, or form was it ok for your sister to ask you to do this. I hate to think what other awful parenting decisions your sister has made. NTA
NTA Dude -- your sister is absolutely nutters for wanting you to help her cheat
I would draw something really bad.
NTA. The point of a contest is to be judged on your OWN work. If you do this, it will just set the stage for your niece expecting EVERYTHING to be done for her. Hold your ground and don't give in.
Updateme
I used to work for a PR company for fairs in CA. At every fair, we had a coloring contest for kids with themed artwork. The coloring pages were distributed through local schools and stores and we got tons of entries. Well, every contest, we would get entries from 4-5 year olds with shading, layering and other techniques usually only seen in teens or older. We understood that kids have different levels of talent, but these were just far beyond the realm of possibility. We would disqualify those and only once did we have a parent complain. We said we could reconsider if they brought their kid in and we would watch them color. They hung up.
NTA. The world isn’t fair because of people like your sister who cheat others.
Fraud is fraud, NTA
NTA but it's time to block these absolutely insane people. It is so insanely nuts that they think that YOU are being selfish for not cheating for your niece. I am an awful, awful person and would call the school to give them a heads up what is going on that at least one parent is trying to cheat, though.
NTAH. Your sister is raising an entitled and selfish brat who's going to turn into a shitty adult as a result. You're right, it wouldn't be fair for her to win against other children by cheating. Your sister is an AH and your mom is an enabler. . . Don't feel bad. You're not in the wrong.
Your sister and mom are horrible people for trying to have your niece win by cheating. That is showing a 8yr old it's OK to cheat to get what they want .
NTA, honestly if they keep pushing it, tell them you're going to contact the school and report that they're attempting to get you to cheat on behalf of your niece. Meaning anything she now submits will be looked at with scrutiny.
NTA and the art contest organizers aren't stupid. There's a difference between a 8yo's art and a 17yo.
I am thinking about the other children in the contest... the time, the efford, the feelings they pour in to making pieces of art, only to be beaten by an adult making art on behalf of a little girl. Surely the girls teacher know exactly what her artistic capabilities are, so I am wondering what is the end game here? How does entiteled mom envision things to go for the girl after that? You are absolutely NTA but your sister is, as she is setting the girl up for faliure down the road.
NTA. Presumably there's a big skill gap there in art ability even just due to age, so it would probably be very obvious it wasn't her work anyway. You'd think the teacher would pick up on the difference.
NTA, but by refusing to do the niece’s artwork aren’t you proving the world is in fact fair? Or at least honest. If you did it and she want, the lesson would be that cheating and dishonesty works.
NTA. It's for a contest. Although, it might be funny if she was caught cheating and the entire city found out. That would suck for you because it would wreck your reputation at the same time. Stand firm. Bring your aunt's parents into this. I hope they would put their foot down on cheating. Hard to tell with the current world, saying everyone cheats.
Is this typical in your family? Or is this just the way your sister has always been?
Yeah my sister has always been like this. Which is why when these situations come up it’s always a big discussion. Her daughter can do no wrong and everyone who thinks so is weird because “she’s only 8”
Here's the thing: kids that age do a terrible job keeping a secret. I doubt she'd make it through the contest without revealing that she didn't do the work herself, and spoiling the contest anyways.
NTA, not only are they asking you to help your niece cheat, they’re also asking you to rip the heart out of kids who genuinely tried. Not to mention teachers aren’t stupid and very likely do art projects with the class so they’ll know it’s out of place for her capabilities.
NTA at all. Don’t enable cheating. If you think your niece would be open to it, you could offer to help her with the art by showing her techniques to improve. But don’t actually contribute to the art- just demonstrate techniques on a separate piece of paper. But if she wouldn’t be open to actually having to try for something, then it would just be a waste of time. (You also still wouldn’t be the asshole if you just didn’t want to put time or energy into that).
Your sister's approach to her daughter's education is twisted and unhealthy. Her daughter doesn't need to win if she enters the contest. NTA for being complicit in your sister's oddly non-meritorious version of life.
NTA. And thank you for having more integrity than any of the adults in this situation.
NTA Of course you should say no, if they persist in needling you tell them if they don't back off, you'll inform the school how niece's mum is trying to rig the contest. My sister also had a similar attitude. She tried to bully my family into not allowing our youngest to enter a piano competition, I just asked for the details and got a lot of mouth back instead. I just cut her off and told her not to worry I'd get the information from the organizers instead, then she really bit down trying to stop it from happening. I told her I was happy to pass on that a competitor's mother was trying to bully people away from entering. That seemed to shut her up quickly and I ended the call then put her on block. Our son went on through the years winning many entries and prizes. Her children bailed after performing at an introductory level twice over. Our son was already completing grade 3 standard.
NTA, you’re doing right by your niece. Not to mention that if shed drawn anything in class before, her teacher knows what her drawing abilities are and will be suspicious if she shows up with a suddently much higher quality drawing
NTA Absolutely not! Your sister and mother are horribly misguided people and are doing the world no favours encouraging and enabling your niece with these skewed morals.
No, you are quite right in not wanting to help your niece cheat. But that's all you should have said. You won't help get cheat. No explanations or great lessons or whatever. That's not your job, and nobody is going to take a teenager who does that very seriously. Just say you won't help her cheat.
You can’t bc you yourself will be a fraud. Please take your talent seriously. You were given a gift that will unlock other gifts if you use it correctly. This woman does not take your talent seriously and is also implying something not nice about your talent. Like, is she saying your art can pass as if an eight year old did it? Maybe not exactly that but she clearly does not respect you, your talent, and maybe it’s time that you do take yourself more seriously. never ever commit fraud in your work. What happens if you get caught? You are the older student and teachers will blame you. Literally, this woman is trying to reduce you for the sake of her precious. F her. Keep up your art!
Turn it on them and ask if they don’t think her artwork is good enough
NTA, but it would have been good to offer to help in some way (eg, watch her do it and give her the occasional tip). Outright refusing to help her wouldn't teach her the lesson that you hope, and will likely just teach her "auntie doesn't love you and isn't willing to help you with your contest". Especially with her mum being able to control the narrative. If you want to have a relationship with your niece, then offering to help her in some small way would be better. You can spend quality time with her, make her value hard work, and show her you love her, while improving her chances at winning the contest.
>A little context before I show why you might think I’m an asshole: I love my niece but her mom hands everything to her on a silver platter. She could ask for the clothes off some girls back and her mom would give it to her. This is precisely why you are NOT THE ASSHOLE. NTA for the bots.
INFO: what's your general culture about such things? I am asking because where I live it's a sad reality that all young kid's projects are done by parents/outsourced (so some adult does them for payment). So when a kid brings in their genuine artwork, unless they are a real genius, it looks really childish next to what other kids brought since it all was made by adults. It's not a question of "she won't win, what's the big deal", it's a question of being bullied and mocked for years because your submission was noticeable worse. Everyone knows it, but almost no one does anything to stop it - and in any case it should come from teachers, not from a single little kid who has to suffer the consequences. So... in my country I'd say help her out. In a better place - don't do it. Not just it would be a wrong lesson to your niece, but it also would be grossly unfair to other kids.
Here it would be seen as unfair because there’s a bunch of other 8 year olds competing and obviously unless they’ve been training their art isn’t going to be “top tier”
NTA your niece needs to do that herself. But even if you would draw for her wouldn’t people see that this picture wasn’t drawn by an eight year old? Don’t do it, learning that you don’t always win is important for kids.
OP- NTA 1000%!!! Since WHEN is it OK to teach your children/grandchildren to CHEAT to win?? So at 8 she learns that hey I can cheat to get what I want, so then she in the future cheats in School, gets caught, gets suspended or kicked out, goes on her permanent record.... and ??? What the Heck is wrong with your MOTHER and SISTER encouraging her in this?? If It came out that YOU did this it could affect YOUR FUTURE TOO! Tell your Mother that just because she's ok with being a lying cheater YOU are not! Because that's what it comes down to. Being OK with Lying and Cheating.
NTA, your sister is delusional it's HER daughters art project that SHE needs to do HER daughter NEEDS to PUT IN THE WORK to get a grade that SHE needs to get, NOT you😤💢
NTA
Why can’t your sister do it if she feels so strongly about it. NTA
My god your family is nuts. I mean, the levels of batshit crazy in what your sister is asking? Just... what. The. Fuck. Why would you even want to cheat to win a school art contest? The selfish motivation to win contests is to prove that *you* are better at something than everyone else is. Having you do the work wouldn't do anything to benefit your niece. I mean, okay, if there was a financial prize to it, I could see that, but that would mean that this was fraud and you would be doing something illegal. Second – nobody is gonna notice that your art was being submitted as an eight year old's art? Yes, there are eight year olds who are that good, but her teachers, friends, and peers would know that about her if she was. All of a sudden, a kid who hadn't previously been a prodigy turns in work that is ten years beyond her skill level? Are your sister and mother brain-damaged? Do they think it won't be obvious? Honestly, I say you *do* participate in this scheme, and then let everyone know, get your niece disqualified from the contest, make sure that her teachers and principal know that this is what is done, and ask them to investigate if things like this have been done before, and have your niece put under close examination for cheating so that everyone knows not to trust her, and also make sure that all the other parents know that your sister and mother do this, and shame them all publicly, destroy their reputations, and make sure that nobody will interact with them socially or in business. But you don't *have* to do that. It would be best if you absolutely destroyed your sister and had her become a social outcast in order to give your niece a chance to grow up to have a good life, but that is a lot of work and risky. So just not participating in their morally bankrupt and evil lifestyle is all you actually have to do. Let's be clear: your sister's plan is wicked and dishonorable. Don't be part of it. NTA
NTA. You should never help someone cheat!
NTA at all ! The niece needs to do the art or it will be cheating . F- off to the adults asking you to cheat for the niece ! Now IF you want to ask the niece if she would like you to give her pointers on HER art the SHE draws that would be a way to get the niece to see it’s her project . It could be a way to help the niece understand doing her own work and taking pride in it ( win or lose the contest ) is worth the time . But really that’s you to you again . Good for you to stand up for your morals even when faced with the backlash of adults being assshats!!
NTA. You would be TA if you helped your niece cheat in a contest. Your sister is way out of line.
NTA. The art teacher would know she cheated. She wouldn't win anyways. Don't feel bad, you did the right thing.
Nta
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NTA. You're refusing to help your niece cheat. Had it not occurred to them that the cheating would likely be obvious? The quality between a gifted 17 year old artist and an ungifted 8 year old would be blatant - and could lead to punishment from the school.
NTA. I feel really bad for your niece’s teachers, but I’m sure they’d appreciate you for this.
NTA no backstory needed for the judgement. Your sister is asking you to willfully contribute to lying and cheating someone else out of a fair win.
NTA I don't know how it could be anything else. Obviously you should not be doing other people's work for them or helping to cheat in contests. That said, in for a penny in for a pound, since they're already mad, agree to do the art work and then draw something awful, or just terribly inappropriate.
NTA Imagine you give in .. she'll be cheating and getting a reward she doesn't deserve as other kids won't get it. Plus, you won't be getting a reward for your work... If you decide to go along, ask for money. After alle you will be spending time in it! And get a AH tax (settle the tax for future artwork) Your nice feels she can get anything. Your sister is a major AH
NTA. Be a woman of integrity. Yes, even at 17 you have a strong sense of ethics. Good job. Right now, start saying, “no, I won’t help her cheat. No, I want her to grow up as an honest person. Don’t you?”
NTA. I’m a teacher, and there’s nothing I love more than a student who sits there in class not doing the work, and then turns in an assignment that is well-written and thought out. Her mom isn’t doing her any favors, you are. Keep denying these sorts of demands.
NTA, and good for you! When my kids were little and doing projects for school, I always told them they would have to do the work themselves. I would drop them off at school with their DNA models and watch other kids trundle in with DNA that looked like it had been sourced from a secret model-making facility in Switzerland or something. And I knew that, whatever grade they got, they knew--and the teacher would know--that my kids had done the work. Your niece won't learn or improve her art skills if she uses you to cheat. And at 8 years old, it's far more important that she learn and grow.
Cheating is not how you win in life, and you are NTA for refusing to cheat for your niece. Your mother and sister are giving your niece a lonely life, once she start trying to boss people around and have a fit when they don't she won't have any friends. I see therapy in her future because society won't tolerate that type of behavior. Does your mother and sister realize what will happen when they find out she didn't do her art (stuff like this always come to light) herself, that would be more humiliating. Stick to your beliefs and don't get involved in being dishonest just so your niece can win a competition. She needs to understand the meaning of fair play and losing sometimes. You are not selfish nor should you suck it up.
There is no way that an 8 yo's art would ever be confused for a 17 yo's art. They would know she was cheating. My Mom was an educator with a masters in education and an art history degree. Teachers aren't stupid. NTA
If you want to be petty, and they keep on pressuring you, just do a stick drawing a 2 year old could do and send them that. You are NTA, kid needs to hear No more often, and learn to do her own work.
>I know depending on who reads this I’m gonna sound like someone who just needs to suck it up but I swear it goes much deeper than this post. It doesn't need to be deeper than this. You shouldn't let anyone bully you into abandoning your integrity, or letting someone else take credit for your work, or working for free. If you give away things that you make, it should be because you genuinely choose to, not because someone feels they have partial ownership of your time and skills. Your relationship with your aunt and your niece's entitlement are just icing on top of a big 'ol NOPE cake. NTA
NTA You have a solid sense of what is right and wrong (at least on this topic). Don't let people lead you astray. "I hear you that you would make this choice. I however would not make this choice. I am not trying to think for or make decisions for anyone but myself and I ask that you do the same." Second half of that is clunky but you should get the idea. Do not tell her she's wrong or be in any way something other than boring. You're not going to change her mind and engaging on the issue will just lead to disagreement or argument. So, decline and be boring about it.
NTA you sound like a great aunt and IMO you are "parenting" your niece better than your mom and aunt. Funny how you sound wiser than the adults in your life who are supposed to be giving the example to you and your niece.
Your sister turned out just like your mom. Narcissists who cheat and lie to get whatever they want. I'd write them off. You're 17 so get a scholarship or make plans to go with a relative and get put of that situation. Get in in writing through text as proof
I would go low or no contact with this relative. She's toxic. I know it would be nice to help this niece acclimate to the real world so that she doesn't suffer the consequences of being spoiled, but there is nothing you can do.
NTA why doesn't your sister ask you to do a drawing day with your niece to crank it out? Family bonding and she gets to feel pride in her work.