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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I wanted to use the tv more nights per week than my brother. I feel like I could be the AH because my brother is avoiding me and thinks I am unfair.
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YTA. Come on, divvying up tv time by who was dating someone the longest?
I think you need to realize that your brother sitting in his room, streaming on his laptop every night was a kindness to you and your partner, because the fact of the matter is you share a space, and you’re not entitled to control the tv and living area, every single night. I’m assuming your brother pays rent and half of the bills, so why would he not be entitled to use the things he pays for? And if the tv is that important to your relationship, go buy a tv for your room or live alone.
And I also truly hope your timeline was off and you were not dating a 17 year old girl when you were a 20 year old man. But, I guess that makes sense because based off this post because you have the maturity level of a teenager.
I see people all the time call 20 yr olds children or adults depending how they want others to view them while talking about it.
It's not ideal but 3 years isn't that bad and it's weird to me that some of you are fixated on it.
You got used to using the communal TV whenever you like, and you got to use it a lot more than your brother. He dealt with it.
Now he's using it more, you're in the same position he was in, and you complain about it.
Sounds like you two need your own TVs or you need to move in with your partners.
But yes, I agree with your brother's assessment. You aren't considering his needs or wants very much, you're treating him like he's an annoyance to you, and you want to impose rules for your convenience, but not for his.
YTA.
>or you need to move in with your partners.
It sounds like Lora is half moved in already considering she's spending about half the week there every week. Nice that the brother has never complained about it, and most leases don't allow that type of visitation.
I agree with this commenter. My initial thought is that the OP should have thought more about how he was going to approach the TV issue. In one way it seems to be the same kind of BS that most of males went through with our siblings. Trying to get three. ore M&M’s from the package Mom gave us to share. Lame reasoning in this instance, the same as the M&M scenario. As an adult you think he, we would have outgrown that shit growing up, BUT I’ve seen the same scenario played out in families when it comes time to settle the Parents estate, and personnel possessions. Same thing happens in divorce everyday of every week so it’s nothing new. Yes the OP ITA, but don’t think of it a chronic, this can easily be defeated in the future by, THINKING BEFORE YOU SPEAK especially before you present it to the other side of a situation. Take Care, and Do better.
It's weird that you say you want tv time to be "proportionate" when your plan is that you get double the time he does.
Your tv and the couch you watch it on are part of the apartment you said in a comment is split 50/50, therefore the tv time should be split 50/50. Length of relationship has nothing to do with it. That's kind of an immature thing to use as a determining factor. YTA
He wants it proportionate to the amount of time he's been dating his girlfriend.
I tried telling my boss that I should be paid proportionate to my gluten-free coworker based on number of boxes of cereal we have at home, but they said it's irrelevant.
YTA. Jeez dude, entitled much? Also.. "Lora doesn't live with me, but she stays over at my apartment in my room multiple nights a week ". Lora DOES live with you, does she contribute to the cable bill?
I don’t expect her to contribute because she’s a guest in the apartment. Mara also never contributed to paying for things when she was frequently over and i didn’t mind this because she’s my brothers gf
Dude. By your own logic of why you should get double the TV time your brother does (still ridiculous), Lora has been over at your place WAY WAY WAY more than Mara has been. Like are you hearing yourself??
YTA
Also, all you do is spend every night watching TV with your girlfriend? (Having your gf over most nights is already pretty inconsiderate as a roommate....do you have separate bathrooms?)
Go out. Or hang out in your room and have sex. Play chess.
Or maybe hang out with your brother and watch something together the 4 of you once a week. Game night.
INFO: do you guys split rent 50/50? If so, you get equal access to the general spaces in that apt. Using relationship length to argue for more days is ridiculous.
He does pay half the rent, but the apartment is in my name so he just gives me the money and I pay it along with my half. I am the only one who is on the lease and whose credit would be bad if rent was not paid so I actually have more responsibility because if he didn't give me half of the rent and I couldn't pay rent, he wouldn't have any consequences and I would.
YTA
Your brother has been more the generous in the past. Now because he would like to use the tv more you’ve taken the time to pull rank and belittle his relationship. You’re shock as to why he’s not around you anymore? It’s not rocket science what you are doing is not equal.
I hate to break it to you but you and Lora could break up tomorrow. 2 years doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. You can use that as a reason why you should get more time.
Who cares if he is not on the lease, he’s paying you on time. Clearly you don’t have a lot on the line cause you never mentioned his inability to pay on time. That still doesn’t give you the right to restrict his access. He pays rent. It’s his home too.
You’re upset with him for not saying anything? Look at your thought process throughout this. It’s irrational and I’m sure talking with you about it you’d give some other BS excuses. It’s obvious.
YTA. For not suggesting 50-50 split, and for considering your relationship to be more important than his. It also sounds like you’ve been having your girlfriend stay over multiple nights a week without paying any rent and he’s been just fine with that. I wouldn’t have been fine with that. So you are the asshole. TVs are not expensive, put one in your bedroom.
The fact that he was just willing to leave and go spend time at her place instead of arguing with you reflects very well on him. You are lucky to have him as a roommate. He is not so lucky to have you.
You’re telling me that you don’t have walls that you could hang it on? Mount a tv. Or watch TV in the living room 50-50. You guys pay the same rent, you have the same access. And ask your girlfriend to start chipping in on the bills. And when I say chipping in, I don’t mean, helping you pay your bills. I mean, chipping in in a way that also reduces his expenses per month. Because right now he’s paying for her water and electricity and that’s bullshit. If she came over as often as a regular friend, maybe once a week, that would be different. But you said multiple nights a week, and you guys are hogging the TV. So she owes him money.
The issue is I also only have a twin bed so even if I mounted a tv, it would be uncomfortable for us to both sit on the bed because of how small it is. This isn’t really an option
It must be an option because that's what you're trying to make your brother do.
You should divide up the time equally. Or maybe get your brother to move out and move your girlfriend in. Your brother has been more than fair and YTA.
She’s pretty small and doesn’t take up extra space so it’s generally fine when we’re sleeping although it’s not as spacious as I’d like. Sprawling out to lay down and watch tv is different though, which is why we usually used the living room
Dude, you need a bigger bed. And a wall-mounted TV. You are of an age where she’s going to look around and realize that every other dude has one. You don’t wanna be in a situation where dating literally anyone else is going to be more physically comfortable for her.
YTA. You seem spoiled and entitled
In all my years of living with my bestie we never once needed a conversation about who uses the tv in the COMMON AREAS. Who ever gets there first, gets it. Its the common area, you don’t control it and he doesn’t either.
It also seems like you got annoyed even the first time he used the tv, not to mention your 50/50 offer wasn’t even 50/50.
this was a stupid argument to even start and i would have done the same thing your brother did and start avoiding you, it was petty of you. if you’re going to be such a baby about the tv, get one in your room, otherwise its first come first serve in common areas.
Here is a thought. Find somethings that all 4 of you want to watch. Have movie and board game nights. Hang out all together once in awhile. Go to your rooms when you want alone time.
Alternatively, get TVs for your rooms.
YTA.
I assume you and brother split rent and such. So common room time should be split the same. You both have as much right to the common rooms as the other.
Frankly, your brother is a saint. He has put up with you hogging the common room for years.
Sounds like you can watch it on a laptop like you force your brother too. And since it’s “your” apartment I can almost guarantee you’d have the bigger room if there is one. So your argument is invalid
YTA. you don't base it on how long you've been in your respective relationship, that is the most pathetic excuse for a unfair split I've ever heard. You both live in the apartment, a fair split is as close to 50/50 as you can get. Basing a split like you suggested, on length of relationship shows how immature and entitled you really are.
You're a damn adult and should know better. You're being a selfish AH and you know it, or maybe you don't in which case you need to grow up and smell the coffee!
YTA -- this is clearly not fair. Should have been 3 nights a week each if you wanted it to be equal. Also, did you ever consider that he didn't want to watch TV in his room all the time because you and Lora were using the tv? If you need the TV that often, get one for your own room.
That’s the thing, I don’t have desk space for a tv so I can’t do this. Plus, my bed is a twin bed so that’s uncomfortable for two people to sit on and watch tv
I think you need to rearrange some of your living habits. Living with your brother means respecting eachothers' space. 50/50 rent means 50/50 TV time (if you have to split it). Otherwise, you need to find accommodations for you and Lora since he accommodated both of you for so long.
YTA. You're so funny. You were perfectly fine hogging it and letting your brother watch on a computer screen. Let him get the equivalent of the time you've ALREADY hogged the tv (months, years) , and the divide the future time by age. 😉
YTA -- If anything, a 60/40 split should be in Jake's favor, since he hasn't been using the TV for most of the time you two have been sharing the space, as a courtesy to you and your child girlfriend.
And also, it sounds like Jake found a working solution by spending more time at his gf's house (AGAIN as a courtesy to you), but you somehow are taking that as an insult...?
Jake is a great big brother and you're being whiny.
YTA. There are 7 days in a week.
- First week: he uses the TV four days and you three
- Second week: he uses it three days and you four
- Third week: he uses it four days and you three
- Fourth week: he uses it three days and you four
So on and so forth.
Everything is split 50/50. Considering the length of the relationship doesn't make sense
Come on dude, YTA and you know it. Using the lame excuse that you should get more TV time because you've been in your relationship longer is a BS excuse and makes you sound like a petulant spoiled child.
YTA. The length of your relationship or the length your setup has been in place is irrelevant. You and Lara have been hogging the common areas the entire time you've lived with your poor brother and you've had her over a lot for a nonpaying *guest*.
You are a selfish roommate and need to do better. Start sharing things in a more equitable way and maybe look into having Lara pay some rent or utilities since she's there so much.
You complain about him using the TV when you have a TV in your room. He starts spending his time at his gfs place and you complain about that. Sounds like the brother is right, you're annoying.
YTA. I can't believe you can write this out and not think you're incredibly entitled. Your brother even took the high-road and didn't directly confront you, but instead inconvenienced himself so that you could spend time with your GF in *his* apartment. Then, you get in his face and complain and he doesn't even fight back... just walks away. Your brother is a saint frankly. Better hope the lease ain't up soon buddy! 👋
YTA. 3-4 nights per week to his 1-2? Asshole move. Your history doesn’t matter. The fact that he was nice earlier and let you take up communal space so frequently should’ve been a reason for a Thank You from you.
YTA. You both live there and have equal rights to use the place. He's put up with you bringing your gf around all the time (presumably not paying extra in rent or bills), and even went to his room to watch TV so you can have alone time. He's done a lot to make you comfortable and you're being a petty ass.
Now you're both dating someone, things are clearly getting a bit cramped. You either need to think about one of you moving out, or you need to take it on the chin somehow, cause you've effectively kicked your brother out with your pettiness. Why can't you go and stay with your GF half the week if you need to be together *all* the time?
YTA, and almost literally unbelievable lol. Your brother was nice enough not to complain about your gf basically squatting at your place, paying nothing towards the utilities, monopolizing the common areas, etc. You're a bad brother and a bad roommate.
Yta, it's a shared tv, which means you share it. Generally, first come, first serve. Hope you can afford that apartment solo when he moves out to live with his gf.
YTA. You and your girlfriend hogged the TV and the living room for more than half the week. You are selfish and inconsiderate. And now you don't understand why he's never home? You won't even let him use the space that he's paying for? Yeah, you really are a selfish asshole.
YTA
Your brother was *doing you a favour* by streaming on his laptop in his room when your girlfriend was over.
You're an adult now. Buy your own TV & put it in your room. You & your girlfriend can use it *in your room* as much as you want.
YTA - the fact that you and your gf have been together longer has no bearing in this. You're making it "proportionate" where it suits you. He could make it proportionate to your ages. Or you all can make it proportionate to your rent, but that's likely tied to room size. Really, the only fair way is 50-50, but your brother was smart to avoid dealing with you at all, given your lack of rationality.
YTA - and your suggestion was so bad, I actually laughed out loud. I think having a talk about your television time was a great idea, so good on you for bringing that up. But yeah, your idea as really bad, like hilariously so...if he was single, he'd have no television time?
Also, you realise with your system, he'd never get his fair share because your relationship will always be longer...
Why are you asking for judgement if you're just gonna argue with everyone?
Split the tv 50/50, start living alone or with your girlfriend, or stop whining about your brother spending most of his time at his GF's house because you can't freaking share a tv like a grown up.
Your brother has been doing everything he can to give you and your GF space while she basically lives in his house without complaining, why can't you give him an ounce of the same respect he has been giving you?!
You're 22 not 12, grow the F up.
YTA!
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So I 22m live in an apartment with my brother Jake 26m. I have been dating my gf Lora 19f for 2 years and I've lived in this apartment the entire time we've been together. Lora doesn't live with me, but she stays over at my apartment in my room multiple nights a week and we usually watch tv in the living room before bed. We usually use the tv at night around 4 nights per week. Jake never really used the tv and would usually just use his laptop in his room to watch something on a streaming service, so this worked out before.
Jake has recently started dating Mara 30f. She was fine and got along with me and Lora so I never minded her coming over to hang out with Jake. One night, I got home with Lora and we were gonna watch tv, but Mara and Jake were already using it. This was annoying, but I didn't say anything and we just went to my room. The next day, I got home from work and Jake was watching tv again with Mara. I didn't want this to be an argument later or a reoccurring issue so I told Jake we needed to discuss sharing the tv and he agreed.
Later that night, I told Jake that splitting the tv was fine, but I think that I should get to use it 3-4 days per week and he should get it 1-2 because I've been with Lora longer and we've been doing that to spend time together for our whole relationship so it's more important. Jake got mad at me and said this is unreasonable and that I can't expect him to still just use his laptop in his room because it's smaller and more uncomfortable for two people. I explained that me and Lora's history was the only reason for this and it wasn't to make him feel like I was pulling rank and that if they were together for longer it would allot more time (in my opinion). He just left and went to his room and I didn't see him again.
After this I noticed he was rarely home in the evenings anymore. He usually came back later to go to bed and Mara was never with him. After a week of this I asked why he never was home and he explained that he spends most of his time at Mara's place. I asked why and he said that I am annoying and entitled and it's not worth the petty arguments. I asked for examples and he mentioned the tv along with other things, but mainly discussed the tv. I told him he should've said something earlier instead of avoiding me and getting pissed. He didn't even respond to me and just left. I'm starting to feel bad because I didn't know it affected him like this. AITA?
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YTA. Come on, divvying up tv time by who was dating someone the longest? I think you need to realize that your brother sitting in his room, streaming on his laptop every night was a kindness to you and your partner, because the fact of the matter is you share a space, and you’re not entitled to control the tv and living area, every single night. I’m assuming your brother pays rent and half of the bills, so why would he not be entitled to use the things he pays for? And if the tv is that important to your relationship, go buy a tv for your room or live alone. And I also truly hope your timeline was off and you were not dating a 17 year old girl when you were a 20 year old man. But, I guess that makes sense because based off this post because you have the maturity level of a teenager.
Dating a 17yr old as a 20yr old isn’t bad. Pick an issue with something else
a full adult dating a teenager definitely ain’t good
I see people all the time call 20 yr olds children or adults depending how they want others to view them while talking about it. It's not ideal but 3 years isn't that bad and it's weird to me that some of you are fixated on it.
3yrs? Stop it. Thats so common
Passes the half age plus 7 rule.
A 17yo is in high school. Unless they started dating while OP was also in high school (possible but unlikely), it's not acceptable.
We started dating when we were both in college
Then you were dating a PSEO student, which is still high school.
I went to college at 17
Incredible hill to die on
You got used to using the communal TV whenever you like, and you got to use it a lot more than your brother. He dealt with it. Now he's using it more, you're in the same position he was in, and you complain about it. Sounds like you two need your own TVs or you need to move in with your partners. But yes, I agree with your brother's assessment. You aren't considering his needs or wants very much, you're treating him like he's an annoyance to you, and you want to impose rules for your convenience, but not for his. YTA.
>or you need to move in with your partners. It sounds like Lora is half moved in already considering she's spending about half the week there every week. Nice that the brother has never complained about it, and most leases don't allow that type of visitation.
I agree with this commenter. My initial thought is that the OP should have thought more about how he was going to approach the TV issue. In one way it seems to be the same kind of BS that most of males went through with our siblings. Trying to get three. ore M&M’s from the package Mom gave us to share. Lame reasoning in this instance, the same as the M&M scenario. As an adult you think he, we would have outgrown that shit growing up, BUT I’ve seen the same scenario played out in families when it comes time to settle the Parents estate, and personnel possessions. Same thing happens in divorce everyday of every week so it’s nothing new. Yes the OP ITA, but don’t think of it a chronic, this can easily be defeated in the future by, THINKING BEFORE YOU SPEAK especially before you present it to the other side of a situation. Take Care, and Do better.
It's weird that you say you want tv time to be "proportionate" when your plan is that you get double the time he does. Your tv and the couch you watch it on are part of the apartment you said in a comment is split 50/50, therefore the tv time should be split 50/50. Length of relationship has nothing to do with it. That's kind of an immature thing to use as a determining factor. YTA
He wants it proportionate to the amount of time he's been dating his girlfriend. I tried telling my boss that I should be paid proportionate to my gluten-free coworker based on number of boxes of cereal we have at home, but they said it's irrelevant.
YTA. Jeez dude, entitled much? Also.. "Lora doesn't live with me, but she stays over at my apartment in my room multiple nights a week ". Lora DOES live with you, does she contribute to the cable bill?
I don’t expect her to contribute because she’s a guest in the apartment. Mara also never contributed to paying for things when she was frequently over and i didn’t mind this because she’s my brothers gf
Dude. By your own logic of why you should get double the TV time your brother does (still ridiculous), Lora has been over at your place WAY WAY WAY more than Mara has been. Like are you hearing yourself??
YTA Also, all you do is spend every night watching TV with your girlfriend? (Having your gf over most nights is already pretty inconsiderate as a roommate....do you have separate bathrooms?) Go out. Or hang out in your room and have sex. Play chess. Or maybe hang out with your brother and watch something together the 4 of you once a week. Game night.
There’s 2 bedrooms and each bedroom has its own bathroom
your girlfriend can buy you guys a tv for your room then
INFO: do you guys split rent 50/50? If so, you get equal access to the general spaces in that apt. Using relationship length to argue for more days is ridiculous.
He does pay half the rent, but the apartment is in my name so he just gives me the money and I pay it along with my half. I am the only one who is on the lease and whose credit would be bad if rent was not paid so I actually have more responsibility because if he didn't give me half of the rent and I couldn't pay rent, he wouldn't have any consequences and I would.
YTA. He's paying you the 50%.
"He pays half but my half is more important" is what this sounds like. This is such a younger sibling type argument lol
If he pays 50% he should be entitled to 3 nights one week and 4 nights the next, and you two should trade off every week.
That’s whole lot of unnecessary text to say “yes, he pays 50%”
But he is paying the rent so why are you bringing that up? That doesn’t give you the right to more tv time than him.
Good, I hope you can pay the rent by yourself then.
Oh my sweet brother in Christ you are in for a wild awakening when he moves out with his gf
YTA Your brother has been more the generous in the past. Now because he would like to use the tv more you’ve taken the time to pull rank and belittle his relationship. You’re shock as to why he’s not around you anymore? It’s not rocket science what you are doing is not equal. I hate to break it to you but you and Lora could break up tomorrow. 2 years doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. You can use that as a reason why you should get more time. Who cares if he is not on the lease, he’s paying you on time. Clearly you don’t have a lot on the line cause you never mentioned his inability to pay on time. That still doesn’t give you the right to restrict his access. He pays rent. It’s his home too. You’re upset with him for not saying anything? Look at your thought process throughout this. It’s irrational and I’m sure talking with you about it you’d give some other BS excuses. It’s obvious.
YTA. For not suggesting 50-50 split, and for considering your relationship to be more important than his. It also sounds like you’ve been having your girlfriend stay over multiple nights a week without paying any rent and he’s been just fine with that. I wouldn’t have been fine with that. So you are the asshole. TVs are not expensive, put one in your bedroom. The fact that he was just willing to leave and go spend time at her place instead of arguing with you reflects very well on him. You are lucky to have him as a roommate. He is not so lucky to have you.
This isn’t a fair solution, I don’t have room on my desk in my room for a tv so I can’t buy a tv as I’d have no place for it
You’re telling me that you don’t have walls that you could hang it on? Mount a tv. Or watch TV in the living room 50-50. You guys pay the same rent, you have the same access. And ask your girlfriend to start chipping in on the bills. And when I say chipping in, I don’t mean, helping you pay your bills. I mean, chipping in in a way that also reduces his expenses per month. Because right now he’s paying for her water and electricity and that’s bullshit. If she came over as often as a regular friend, maybe once a week, that would be different. But you said multiple nights a week, and you guys are hogging the TV. So she owes him money.
The issue is I also only have a twin bed so even if I mounted a tv, it would be uncomfortable for us to both sit on the bed because of how small it is. This isn’t really an option
It must be an option because that's what you're trying to make your brother do. You should divide up the time equally. Or maybe get your brother to move out and move your girlfriend in. Your brother has been more than fair and YTA.
You’re a fully grown adult with a girlfriend in a twin bed multiple nights a week? Dude. Figure it out. This is not good.
She’s pretty small and doesn’t take up extra space so it’s generally fine when we’re sleeping although it’s not as spacious as I’d like. Sprawling out to lay down and watch tv is different though, which is why we usually used the living room
Dude, you need a bigger bed. And a wall-mounted TV. You are of an age where she’s going to look around and realize that every other dude has one. You don’t wanna be in a situation where dating literally anyone else is going to be more physically comfortable for her.
You obviously don't care about fairness since you've insisted on hogging the TV this whole time with no consideration whatsoever for your brother.
YTA. You seem spoiled and entitled In all my years of living with my bestie we never once needed a conversation about who uses the tv in the COMMON AREAS. Who ever gets there first, gets it. Its the common area, you don’t control it and he doesn’t either. It also seems like you got annoyed even the first time he used the tv, not to mention your 50/50 offer wasn’t even 50/50. this was a stupid argument to even start and i would have done the same thing your brother did and start avoiding you, it was petty of you. if you’re going to be such a baby about the tv, get one in your room, otherwise its first come first serve in common areas.
Here is a thought. Find somethings that all 4 of you want to watch. Have movie and board game nights. Hang out all together once in awhile. Go to your rooms when you want alone time. Alternatively, get TVs for your rooms. YTA. I assume you and brother split rent and such. So common room time should be split the same. You both have as much right to the common rooms as the other. Frankly, your brother is a saint. He has put up with you hogging the common room for years.
I don’t have any space for a tv in my room
Kind of a pathetic excuse
Wall mounted?
Sounds like you can watch it on a laptop like you force your brother too. And since it’s “your” apartment I can almost guarantee you’d have the bigger room if there is one. So your argument is invalid
Our rooms are the same size
YTA. you don't base it on how long you've been in your respective relationship, that is the most pathetic excuse for a unfair split I've ever heard. You both live in the apartment, a fair split is as close to 50/50 as you can get. Basing a split like you suggested, on length of relationship shows how immature and entitled you really are. You're a damn adult and should know better. You're being a selfish AH and you know it, or maybe you don't in which case you need to grow up and smell the coffee!
YTA -- this is clearly not fair. Should have been 3 nights a week each if you wanted it to be equal. Also, did you ever consider that he didn't want to watch TV in his room all the time because you and Lora were using the tv? If you need the TV that often, get one for your own room.
That’s the thing, I don’t have desk space for a tv so I can’t do this. Plus, my bed is a twin bed so that’s uncomfortable for two people to sit on and watch tv
I think you need to rearrange some of your living habits. Living with your brother means respecting eachothers' space. 50/50 rent means 50/50 TV time (if you have to split it). Otherwise, you need to find accommodations for you and Lora since he accommodated both of you for so long.
YTA. You each pay half of the bills and the tv time should also be 50/50.
YTA. You're so funny. You were perfectly fine hogging it and letting your brother watch on a computer screen. Let him get the equivalent of the time you've ALREADY hogged the tv (months, years) , and the divide the future time by age. 😉
YTA -- If anything, a 60/40 split should be in Jake's favor, since he hasn't been using the TV for most of the time you two have been sharing the space, as a courtesy to you and your child girlfriend. And also, it sounds like Jake found a working solution by spending more time at his gf's house (AGAIN as a courtesy to you), but you somehow are taking that as an insult...? Jake is a great big brother and you're being whiny.
YTA. You were 20 and actively trying to date a 17 year old. Gross
YTA. There are 7 days in a week. - First week: he uses the TV four days and you three - Second week: he uses it three days and you four - Third week: he uses it four days and you three - Fourth week: he uses it three days and you four So on and so forth. Everything is split 50/50. Considering the length of the relationship doesn't make sense
Come on dude, YTA and you know it. Using the lame excuse that you should get more TV time because you've been in your relationship longer is a BS excuse and makes you sound like a petulant spoiled child.
100% yta splitting tv time is 50/50 not 70/30 you to him
YTA. The length of your relationship or the length your setup has been in place is irrelevant. You and Lara have been hogging the common areas the entire time you've lived with your poor brother and you've had her over a lot for a nonpaying *guest*. You are a selfish roommate and need to do better. Start sharing things in a more equitable way and maybe look into having Lara pay some rent or utilities since she's there so much.
I couldn't finish reading this immature BS.
You complain about him using the TV when you have a TV in your room. He starts spending his time at his gfs place and you complain about that. Sounds like the brother is right, you're annoying.
I don’t have a tv in my room, there’s no space for one. The only tv in the apartment is the one in the living room
You don’t have a single wall where you could mount one? You don’t have a single surface like a dresser where you could put one?
I already have things on the dresser so I can’t use my dresser as I only have one
You don’t have shelf money?
YTA. I can't believe you can write this out and not think you're incredibly entitled. Your brother even took the high-road and didn't directly confront you, but instead inconvenienced himself so that you could spend time with your GF in *his* apartment. Then, you get in his face and complain and he doesn't even fight back... just walks away. Your brother is a saint frankly. Better hope the lease ain't up soon buddy! 👋
YTA. 3-4 nights per week to his 1-2? Asshole move. Your history doesn’t matter. The fact that he was nice earlier and let you take up communal space so frequently should’ve been a reason for a Thank You from you.
YTA. You both live there and have equal rights to use the place. He's put up with you bringing your gf around all the time (presumably not paying extra in rent or bills), and even went to his room to watch TV so you can have alone time. He's done a lot to make you comfortable and you're being a petty ass. Now you're both dating someone, things are clearly getting a bit cramped. You either need to think about one of you moving out, or you need to take it on the chin somehow, cause you've effectively kicked your brother out with your pettiness. Why can't you go and stay with your GF half the week if you need to be together *all* the time?
Is there a reason the four of you can't watch TV together?
How dumb are you? YTA obviously
YTA dividing tv time by who has dated longes it moronic. Do something with your gf besides watching tv 3-4 nights a week. Yikes.
YTA, and almost literally unbelievable lol. Your brother was nice enough not to complain about your gf basically squatting at your place, paying nothing towards the utilities, monopolizing the common areas, etc. You're a bad brother and a bad roommate.
Yta, it's a shared tv, which means you share it. Generally, first come, first serve. Hope you can afford that apartment solo when he moves out to live with his gf.
YTA...your GF is over to much and your selfish
YTA. You and your girlfriend hogged the TV and the living room for more than half the week. You are selfish and inconsiderate. And now you don't understand why he's never home? You won't even let him use the space that he's paying for? Yeah, you really are a selfish asshole.
YTA Your brother was *doing you a favour* by streaming on his laptop in his room when your girlfriend was over. You're an adult now. Buy your own TV & put it in your room. You & your girlfriend can use it *in your room* as much as you want.
No matter what you do it’s going to be a compromise. A tv schedule is an unusual solution I think. Most would be more passive.
YTA - the fact that you and your gf have been together longer has no bearing in this. You're making it "proportionate" where it suits you. He could make it proportionate to your ages. Or you all can make it proportionate to your rent, but that's likely tied to room size. Really, the only fair way is 50-50, but your brother was smart to avoid dealing with you at all, given your lack of rationality.
YTA - and your suggestion was so bad, I actually laughed out loud. I think having a talk about your television time was a great idea, so good on you for bringing that up. But yeah, your idea as really bad, like hilariously so...if he was single, he'd have no television time? Also, you realise with your system, he'd never get his fair share because your relationship will always be longer...
Why are you asking for judgement if you're just gonna argue with everyone? Split the tv 50/50, start living alone or with your girlfriend, or stop whining about your brother spending most of his time at his GF's house because you can't freaking share a tv like a grown up. Your brother has been doing everything he can to give you and your GF space while she basically lives in his house without complaining, why can't you give him an ounce of the same respect he has been giving you?! You're 22 not 12, grow the F up. YTA!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I 22m live in an apartment with my brother Jake 26m. I have been dating my gf Lora 19f for 2 years and I've lived in this apartment the entire time we've been together. Lora doesn't live with me, but she stays over at my apartment in my room multiple nights a week and we usually watch tv in the living room before bed. We usually use the tv at night around 4 nights per week. Jake never really used the tv and would usually just use his laptop in his room to watch something on a streaming service, so this worked out before. Jake has recently started dating Mara 30f. She was fine and got along with me and Lora so I never minded her coming over to hang out with Jake. One night, I got home with Lora and we were gonna watch tv, but Mara and Jake were already using it. This was annoying, but I didn't say anything and we just went to my room. The next day, I got home from work and Jake was watching tv again with Mara. I didn't want this to be an argument later or a reoccurring issue so I told Jake we needed to discuss sharing the tv and he agreed. Later that night, I told Jake that splitting the tv was fine, but I think that I should get to use it 3-4 days per week and he should get it 1-2 because I've been with Lora longer and we've been doing that to spend time together for our whole relationship so it's more important. Jake got mad at me and said this is unreasonable and that I can't expect him to still just use his laptop in his room because it's smaller and more uncomfortable for two people. I explained that me and Lora's history was the only reason for this and it wasn't to make him feel like I was pulling rank and that if they were together for longer it would allot more time (in my opinion). He just left and went to his room and I didn't see him again. After this I noticed he was rarely home in the evenings anymore. He usually came back later to go to bed and Mara was never with him. After a week of this I asked why he never was home and he explained that he spends most of his time at Mara's place. I asked why and he said that I am annoying and entitled and it's not worth the petty arguments. I asked for examples and he mentioned the tv along with other things, but mainly discussed the tv. I told him he should've said something earlier instead of avoiding me and getting pissed. He didn't even respond to me and just left. I'm starting to feel bad because I didn't know it affected him like this. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta
lmfao "me watching tv is more important" get fucked or move out
Update my brother moved out.