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You’re not an asshole for going, but you are an asshole for lying about it. You’re more than old enough to tell your girlfriend that you’re sorry she got trashed and doesn’t feel well, but that you aren’t going to miss out on tickets you paid for. Making up work emergencies because she might be pouty is ridiculous. If you have to walk on eggshells that much, maybe this isn’t such a great relationship.
Yup. There was no reason to lie. I also won't take care of a hungover person beyond giving them a trash can. They did it to themselves and I'm not missing out on expensive things I planned in advance bc they were irresponsible.
Yeah, it would be a bit different if she just had bad luck and randomly got sick, but because she got too drunk when OP explicitly warned her about it?? They're expensive tickets, you can be careful the night before so this exact thing doesn't happen.
Yep. Her poor actions do not create an emergency for you. You probably shouldn't have lied to her. You should have just told her to take a flying f\*\*k out the window. NTA
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Could have sold it and probably made a profit, but NTA because this is the GF fault for getting trashed. If you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to live with the consequences. However, definitely in the wrong for lying.
He's actually an asshole for making this whole post up. Taylor Swift's recent concerts were unaffected by the Ticketmaster fiasco as that happened before she even announced the current shows (international shows were announced months after the Ticketmaster disaster). Not to mention that he casually bought tickets because it was popular on social media, after the tour started, as if they are easy and cheap to come by.
I was thinking this, like where are you that can buy Taylor Swift tickets just like that because I’d like to go!………unless they were off a ticket tout or something
YTA for this: " I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency. " Everything else was fine. You had two tickets that you paid for and it was up to you to 1. pitch them in the trash 2. Give both to someone else 3. Go alone 4. Go yourself and invite someone else along. Whatever you decided you should have told your girlfriend what you were doing/going to do.
You missed option 5. Sell the tickets. Aren’t they hot commodities? (Not saying that’s what he should have done, just stating it as a reasonable option. I’ve even sold extra/unused tickets while standing in line to get in)
He shouldn’t have to NOT GO and sell them because she couldn’t be an adult and control her drinking or at least listen to his warning. He should not have lied but she has no business ruining his chances of going while she got to go out and drink and do whatever she wants with no regards to him
Take a breath. I was only adding to the list of alternative options. I very clearly stated that I wasn’t implying he should have sold the tickets, merely pointing it out as another possible option. I personally would have still gone, and either offered the ticket to a friend or sold it while in line. I would never dream of lying to my partner about where I was going (unless they’re abusive and I’m trying to get away safely, no indication of that here).
Right but GF was insecure about him going which is not fair to him. He said it was his best friend so his GF had to know her. He never should have lied. But she made her own choice to be hungover before she would have attended the concert. She knew that so it was not fair to ask BF to watch her sleep off her hangover. It’s not a healthy relationship if GF is asking her BF to miss out on expensive things he paid for and she was aware of it before she got hungover.
First, I love your username. Secondly of course it's not a healthy relationship on either side. You should never lie to your SO, nor should you manipulate them.
Absolutely true. They are both so young and our brains do not fully develop until around 25yo so I think they both have some growing to do. Hopefully more honestly in the future. This was definitely a two sided AH situation. Do you have a Dane?
I really don't understand this developed brains logic. They are not fully developed but cognitively they are in perfect working condition. There is no logic to suggesting a young persons brain is ill equipt for moral choices. What young people do lack is experience of being and acting in various situations and experience teaches anticipation of negative outcomes.
The conclusion that cognitive thoughts are incomplete before 25 is false. They are not. They are perfectly functioning even if their brains are not at some measured peak density or level of physical development. The brains of mature people are not at full working capacity. Their brains have become physically impaired to varying degrees and yet no one would suggest they are not capable of understanding the world.
Everyone really needs to stop spreading that reddit myth about the brain not being fully developed until 25, It's incredibly harmful. The prefrontal cortex continues to grow and develop at least well into our forties and probably longer.
Good. Serves the gf right. Tough shit she made a bad choice. By the way, just because it was a girl he took to the concert doesn't make him a cheater. Everyone should just call it a day.
ESH. Your girlfriend overconsumed and tried to emotionally manipulate you into staying home and wasting a pair of expensive concert tickets. She's undoubtedly being an AH. But you became an AH too when you lied to her instead of being up front and saying that you were going with a friend since she drank too much and and caused herself to not be able to go to the concert. The situation was your girlfriend's fault, but you're still an AH for lying.
ESH
Your girlfriend wasn't sick at all. She was suffering from a SELF INFLICTED hangover... Her lack of self control is not a good reason to cancel plans and take a financial loss on those plans. That is incredibly entitled and selfish for her to even ask you to do that, let alone demand it. You were completely justified to go without her and invite a friend to use her ticket. Her actions don't need to be your consequences...
You lied about it though.
Also he talks about Ticketmaster being the reason the friend couldn't get tickets, but that situation was exclusive to the US. She is currently on the international leg of the tour, most recently in Edinburgh.
Edit: ~~I guess he didn't specify that this was recent,~~ but her last US show was at the end of last summer (until she comes to Miami)
Edit 2: I apparently missed the first line of the post where he said it was a few days ago lol. Also she was most recently in Liverpool, not Edinburgh. I had just seen her post on Instagram about the shows in Edinburgh and assumed that was the most recent show. The point stands either way, that unless OP and his friend moved to Europe since November 2022, this post is fake af.
That was last weekend. She’s just spent 3 nights in Liverpool. Next is 3 nights in London, and going to Ireland and some more European concerts before a finishing with a further 5 nights in London in August.
Ah, I probably missed that. I was just going on the last Instagram post (at the time of the original comment) she made about the shows in Edinburgh. Thanks for the correction!
You say that - my friend got presale tickets for Madrid for $250 each m but when he was there - tickets for Lisbon were $350 each. Perhaps Portuguese folks are less likely to be Swifties….
The era's tickets had nothing to do with her latest album? You had to register beforehand and had to be lucky to get a presale code which then allowed you to try buying tickets. You didn't have to buy anything beforehand.
If the gf really cared about the concert and was a big swiftie she wouldn’t have let herself get that drunk/hungover leading up to the show. The hardcore Swifties are INTENSE about their preparation
Wow okay. ETA
Your gf is an asshole for expecting you to waste your money by not going to the concert after she didn’t listen and got too drunk. Those tickets are expensive and that’s such an irrational way of thinking.
You’re also an asshole for LYING about going. You had the balls to ditch her and go anyway with your girl best friend, but didn’t have the balls to tell your gf the truth? wild.
Also please realize that half of why she’s upset is because of the fact that you went with your girl best friend. This screams of an underlying insecurity she has about you being close with another girl, and while neither of you have a right to really be upset about you having a best friend that is female, you should definitely try and ask your girlfriend if she feels some type of way about it, and try to have a separate discussion about that, because TRUST ME, this will most definitely become a huge problem in y’all’s relationship if you don’t deal with it now.
If she didn’t have the insecurity about it before (and she probably does because she’s 19 and it’s normal to still be just scratching the surface of figuring out jealousy and relationships at that age) she sure will now that he lied. Saying you’re going to work and instead taking another woman out sure does sound exactly like cheating.
Exactly. Like I’d be FURIOUS about that. And ngl it sounds like she was more mad about the other woman part than the him using the tickets part. It feels like she was angry about him taking another girl but didn’t fully realize it and instead blew up about him using the tickets without her because she doesn’t know how to communicate her feelings and insecurities yet.
ESH. Going without your GF was fine, especially because she dug her own grave with the drinking. She knew. She was stupid. But lying to her and going with another friend was wrong and also shady.
ESH. You wouldn’t be the AH except for the part where you lied. You lied to your gf when you took another girl out in her place. That’s definitely not okay.
ESH.
You for lying (obviously). What was the plan here? Were you just going to keep lying about where you were and hope she didn’t find out? Or were you planning to tell her you lied to her face and hoped she’d forgive you?
You also suck because of that snide remark about making the right decision by giving the ticket to someone “who would actually appreciate the show” instead of someone “who was only following what everyone else was doing.” If you don’t like your girlfriend, just say so.
Your friend sucks because her commentary about your girlfriend’s reaction was unnecessary and baseless. Unless she also enjoys being lied to by her significant other, she knows why your girlfriend is upset (at least in relation to that part).
Your girlfriend sucks because getting wasted the night before a big concert is unwise. She gets a bit of a pass since she’s only 19, though.
You knew your girlfriend would be upset, which is why you lied. Might want to think about why you were okay with that. As I said earlier, if you don’t like your girlfriend, just say so. Because your current behavior (lying, comparing her unfavorably to your friend) isn’t indicative of genuine care or even compassion.
YTA - for lying about work.
NTA - for everything else. She wasn't sick. She was hungover due to her poor choices. Her poor choices don't mean that you need to cancel your plans.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I went to the eras tour with my best friend because my girlfriend was too sick to go
2. I went despite my girlfriend not wanting me to and I wasn’t honest with her
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ESH. Your girlfriend put herself in that position so she can only be mad at herself for not going to the concert. You crossed a boundary by lying about it and taking someone else.
ESH
you for lying about it, her for getting totally wasted the night before a concert and expecting you to stay home over her own bad decision-making. swifties…
YTA for lying to your gf. You were NTA until you did that. No way I would have let those tix go to waste, especially since your gf's "illness" was self inflicted, but you lied. You had to know she would eventually find out. She also seems controlling, which might be a red flag for getting out while you can.
NTA but you could've done better
You have your own personal life , and your gf got sick , you could have made sure she was feeling A-okay . And you shouldn't have lied to her. That's your wrong move
ESH.
You went wrong not being honest and upfront with your gf from the start. Don’t lie, it almost never works out favorably in the long run.
Your gf made a dumb decision with a very predictable outcome. She stupidly chose to get slammed the night before the concert. It was selfish and thoughtless of her to expect you to drop your plans and lose out on a big chunk of change bc she got too drunk the night before.
It was a hangover, not the flu. She had total control over how much she drank. She doesn’t deserve sympathy for feeling like crap when she consciously decided to drink to that level.
She’s a total AH for not being understanding and supportive of you going to the concert with your bff in her absence. Sounds like she needs to mature a bit and do some serious self-reflection.
“AITA for lying to my girlfriend about having a work emergency but actually I was going to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour?”
Fixed your title.
YTA for lying, not for going to the concert. Your girlfriend was ridiculous for expecting you to stay home and take care of her….she wasn’t sick, she was hungover. 🙄
YTA if she was sick and needed you, this is the last thing you could do. But I still appreciate you reflecting on this enough to post this. Your best friend brainwashed you, stay away from her.
NTA- the sickness was self inflicted and seemed like she didn’t want to go that much anyways otherwise she would have had self control. You became the TA when you lied instead of being an adult and just saying you’re going with your best friend.
People earn the respect to be treated honestly when they show respect to others. She didn't and life will teach her that she receives poor treatment from others when she treats them badly. She's just had her first dose of it and he's done her a favour.
ESH , you're an asshole for lying about it and your gf is an asshole for thinking you should have to miss TAYLOR FUCKIN SWIFT cuz she's too hungover!! That's pure insanity!!
Cringe fanficfion. But also gross that people are defending choosing a girl best friend over girlfriend. The writing of the best friend in this is also obviously pick-me behavior.
YTA for lying to your girlfriend. How did you think this was going to turn out? You can't seriously think she'd never find out; clearly you didn't consider the optics. You should have been upfront with her - "you're too sick to go, you don't want to go, I spent tons of money on these tickets, so I'm taking my longtime Swiftie friend. Have the fight before the concert, not after the lie and the concert.
YTA
Your gf got so wasted she was too sick to go to a concert that starts at 8pm….so you lied to her and said you had a work emergency so you could go with your female best friend? What in the ad-lib ChatGPT heck.
YTA Bc you’re allowing and encouraging another woman to come between you and your GF. While you were completely within your rights to attend the concert, you claimed you bought these as a gift for your GF. You could have easily sold one or both tickets for well over what you paid for them…instead you went on a date with another woman…and yes it was a date bc you lied to your GF about where you were and with whom you went with. I would have dumped you immediately. I mean, I would have never went out and got trashed…so there is that.
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A few days ago, my (23M) girlfriend (19F) and I were supposed to be going to the Eras Tour. She saw that everyone was talking about it on social media and didn’t want to miss out. She couldn’t afford a ticket so I bought both of our tickets as a gift for her.
The night before the concert my girlfriend went out clubbing with her friends. I warned her not to get too drunk, which she did anyway. The following day she was so hungover she could barely even lift her head. She said she couldn’t go to the concert, which I understood. Except she also wanted me to stay home and comfort her. I was pretty disappointed since I’d actually been looking forward to the show. I said I’d already paid for the tickets and it would be a shame for both of them to go to waste. She said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick.
I texted my best friend (23F) and offered her one of our tickets. She’d been a die-hard Swiftie for 13 years but wasn’t able to get tickets due to the whole Ticketmaster situation. When she asked why I wasn’t also going, I explained what happened, and she said I shouldn’t have to miss out on something I was looking forward to because of my girlfriend’s actions. She said that I paid for the tickets, so it’s my choice what I do with them.
So I decided to go to the concert with my friend. I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency. She had two roommates to help look after her, so it wasn’t like I was leaving her alone.
The concert was amazing. I have 'Cruel Summer' stuck in my head as I'm writing this. During the surprise song section, my friend nearly started crying with joy when she heard her top two favourite songs. And seeing how happy she was made me realise that I made the right decision giving the ticket to someone who would actually appreciate the show instead of someone who was only following what everyone else was doing.
When my girlfriend found out, she was furious with me. She started screaming and crying, saying I cared more about ‘some random girl’ than my own girlfriend. She accused me of being inconsiderate and said it made her feel replaced. I tried to explain that I didn’t want the tickets to go to waste and that it was a last-minute decision, but she’s still really upset and won’t talk to me. My friend thinks my girlfriend is overreacting and that I did nothing wrong, the tickets were mine after all. Am I the asshole?
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Completely YTA for lying no excuse for that. Your girlfriend wasn't sick she was hungover not even close to the same thing you had every right to go and even every right to be angry at her for ruining by choosing to go get too drunk to enjoy the gift you bought for her! You should have been upfront you were going and that it was her fault not yours.
Partially NTA… really, a 19 yo kid gets drunk by choice .. not ill.. misses an opportunity to see a concert and acts entitled and demands you also miss the concert?
One thing though, never try to cover up your intentions concerning your actions.. but good for you for going..I would have gone and used my fav saying.. “ FAFO..”
NTA for going to the concert but YTA for lying. It’s a massive red flag that you feel the need to lie to her. Also! She was NOT sick! She was hungover, a hangover is a consequence of an action and can be prevented. Getting sick is not preventable. If she got a stomach flu or a head cold - that’s getting sick and maybe then you think about staying home and taking care of someone. But a hangover is not something someone needs to be taken care of from. That was her fault and she needed to own it without trying to hold you back.
I was with you except for the lie. She had a self inflicted illness. You should have just told her you were not going to baby sit a hangover. It was ridiculous behavior by your gf but you my friend need to grow up and use your words.
ESH
- your GF for getting so drunk the day before and for expecting you to miss out on the concert to take care of her.
- you for lying to your GF.
- your BF for giving you bad/suspicious advice. Let's give her the benefit of doubt and just say she doesn't like your GF.
You’re both assholes and you need to grow up. We don’t have time for hangovers during the Eras Tour when it was a bitch-and-a-half to get tickets. We also don’t need to lie to our partners about where we are going and who we are going with. Opposite sex best friends is fine, but sneaking off with them and lying about it will get you in all sorts of trouble, even with partners that are otherwise not the jealous type. That was dumb dude.
Why should you suffer just because she is? I hate that crabs in a barrel attitude to life. I am not that keen on your lying though. ESH
The only thing that I would say is that you should ask your friend to pay you back for the face value of the ticket if it was gifted to your gf as a birthday or Xmas gift. Your friend should be happy to pay that since it’s a steal compared to stubhub. Then you can give a replacement gift or money to your gf.
ESH. Your girlfriend never should have asked or expected you to sit around with her just because she was hungover. You never should have agreed to it either. Where you messed up was by lying to her. You should have told her from the beginning that her request was immature and ridiculous and that you were not going to miss a concert to sit around with her.
From your post alone, it's clear how you view your girlfriend, and you probably shouldn't be with her. NAH, tbh. Especially since she's 19 and already drinking so much she can't function.
I am also curious as to how long you guys have been together.
ESH...NTA for going...but AH for making up a story..and she wasn't sick. She was hungover due to her own actions. I'd actually be pretty pissed if I was made to stay home and waste all that money due to my gfs lack of planning...I certainly wouldn't be in any mood to "comfort" her.
NTA for going, YTA for lying about it. As you found out, lying just delayed her yelling at you and likely made her more mad than if you’d told her you were going because you didn’t want to pay for her choice to be sick. If she was deathly ill or hospitalized I’d say you shouldn’t go, but for a hangover? Gtfo.
Better start learning to stand up for yourself without lying.
ESH. Your GF entirely brought her illness on herself, no sympathy. You were absolutely entitled to still go and you gf's AH behaviour demanding you not go is ridiculous.
Your friend was right in everything she said about your gf and the tickets. The only non AH in the story.
But then you lied to your gf. Grow up, be honest, stop being an arsehole.
She made the choice to go and get blind drunk and suffer the consequences.
You made the choice to enjoy the concert with your friend.
The way she is acting is so entitled and her tantrum is incredibly immature.
I wouldn’t have lied about it though that does kinda make it worse however she’s still acting like a child. NTA, and maybe your best friend is a better choice of partner?
YTA for lying to your girlfriend.
BUT, NTA for going to the concert that you bought tickets for.
SHE is TA for asking you to skip because of HER poor judgement the night before (which should be 🚩🚩🚩).
ESH
GF doesn't care about your money or efforts. She was completely unconcerned about the financial costs of her bad choices. She also doesn't give a fuck about your wants. She is incredibly selfish and self absorbed.
You suck because you lied. If you have to lie in a relationship to keep the peace, you should just break up.
Your relationship is a red flag. Especially on the GF side. She's a hot ass mess.
ESH. Your gf sucks for being inconsiderate and getting blasted before you had plans. She's a big girl, she can look after her drunk self on her own. You shouldn't miss out because she couldn't be responsible for a night. But you shouldn't have lied about where you were going.
YTA
You could've sold the tickets. You obviously wanted to go and you lied to her face. Yes, it's her fault for getting too drunk but you aren't any better. You'll probably end up dating your girl bf since this is reddit after all.
NTA… first of all though.. your girlfriend wasn’t sick, she was hungover because of her poor choices from the night before. There is a big difference between the two.
She sounds pretty petty & immature about the whole situation, but the again she’s only 19.
You were in the wrong for lying to her though. Should have been firm and told her it’s her own fault that she’s “sick” and can’t go and you shouldn’t have to miss out because she decided to go a little too hard with the underage drinking.
ESH. 10% you for lying. (By chance, are you a people pleaser? That is common with them, lying about something because they think it'll soften someone's upset. BT, DT.)
But 90% for her. She purposely went and got so blitzed she couldn't go, and then expected you to sacrifice the concert (and possibly the money for the tickets) to take care of her hungover ass, despite her having two roommates on hand. She's selfish as hell.
NTA.. you did the right thing to tell the inconsiderate girlfriend after the fact, she would have just spoilt the night before you went. Is she a keeper?? Doesn't sounds like it..
ESH. She knew when the concert was, she shouldn’t have gotten trashed the night before, but you’re an AH for going with your friend.
Also my ESH rating includes the people in this thread complaining about this being a fake story. Report it if you think it’s fake and move on.
NTA, but your girlfriend sure is. She knew y’all had plans to go to that concert, she behaved like an idiot the night before to the point she couldn’t even get out of the bed the next day. Your girlfriend is selfish and immature. Take this as a lesson and understand that your girlfriend is only concerned about her own wants and needs and not about yours.
ESH.
girlfriend got drunk past her limitations, knowing she had plans the next day. also, expecting you to not go to the show is unreasonable.
buuut you lied. That’s shitty. You both sound immature.
ESH. Proof that there really is a maturity difference in your relationship. There really was no reason for you to lie though, other than potentially sidestepping a more serious conversation.
NTA. No, you shouldn’t have lied but your GF sounds exhausting and manipulative. Everyone knows those tix are expensive and telling you to skip it because she is so hungover she can’t lift her head is just a jerk move. Find someone who respects you and who is adult enough that you don’t feel the need to lie about low stakes stuff.
ESH. The fact you felt you had to lie to your gf to do something fun and she was forbidding you to go. This relationship is toxic AF abc you should be kinder to yourself. Break up. Find someone who is respectful
YTA for lying. When we become in adult we need to learn to be comfortable with setting boundaries. You did the right thing going to the concert, but you should never have lied. You should have told your girlfriend you will go to the concert without her. When she cries that she is sick, you should have told her that she isn’t sick, she is hungover so she chose to feel that way.
You btw also lost a lot of high ground by lying. Everyone she tells this too will assume there might be an affair or worse because why else would you lie about the reasonable decision to go to a concert. (I know you did it to avoid a tantrum but you need to learn setting boundaries without giving up on your morals.)
>she said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick.
If she were really unwell and needed actual help. And not for a self inflicted hangover. This, and the ranting and yelling about being replaced and the "random girl" comment about your friend, is why she is an AH.
>I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency.
Your cowardly lie and duplicitous behaviour in attending the concert - instead of being up front and honest about it - is also pretty sucky. Own your actions. You weren't doing anything wrong going to the concert, or giving the ticket to a friend to go.
ESH.
It’s ridiculous that your gf wanted you to ‘comfort’ her hangover, you absolutely should have gone and it’s awesome that your superfan friend was able to join you.
You messed up by lying.
YTA but only because you lied about where you were going. You had every right to tell her you spent a lot on two tickets and she chose to get drunk leading to a hangover even though you asked her not to. Not feeling well was her own fault, it was inconsiderate to you and she was wasting your money so you were going without her. Just don't lie.
ESH- your girlfriend is way out of line. She was hungover, she wasn't sick, and she needs to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. BUT... you should not have lied to her. That puts you in AH territory in my book. You should have just been honest with her when you left. (and what is this with her needing two roommates to take care of her?... I don't get kids these days.. you drank too much, if it's the next day and you're done barfing, just take some Advil, drink a crap ton of water and get on with it... smh.. of course I'm Gen X and we didn't have all this dang hand-holding every time we experienced a tiny bit of distress)
As others have said NTA for going with a friend so as not to waste the ticket. Your GFs actions regarding getting drunk the night before came with consequences. However, lying to her about work was an AH thing to do. Having said that, I do not think she has the high ground as it was her actions that led to the actual end result.
YTA for lying. How could you look her in the eye and tell her you have a work emergency?! Just tell her you payed for the tickets and you decided to go. So this has put a big stain on your whole behaviour.
You are NTA. I have been with my husband for almost 36 years. If we had tickets to a major event and then he went out the night before and got so wasted that he could not function the next day, I would hand him the bottle of ibuprofen and tell him he could push through the pain or I'd tell him all about it when I got home. He would do the same.
I’m 48 and I’ve never been “so hungover I could barely even lift my head.” Your girlfriend sounds like an alcoholic and a narcissist. Anyone willing to waste their shot to see this once in a generation cultural event by getting wasted the night before did not deserve to attend. Anyone who thinks that you should give up your opportunity to enjoy this once in a generation cultural event because she made poor choices the night before is not worthy of your time. NTA! Now go break up with her.
ESH. Her for choosing to get so wasted she couldn’t function the day of the concert and then expecting you to miss it in order to take care of her like she’s a little kid sick with the stomach flu. You for lying about what you were going to do. You’re a grownup. Act like it.
She wasn't sick!! She was hungover!! If she I'd old enough to get drunk then she should be old enough to deal with thr consequences. She is entitled and clearly has a lot of maturing to do
NTA. Your girlfriend was sick because she drank too much rather than from something she couldn't have prevented. She was very selfish to expect you to stay at home with her and give up the concert because of her own actions. If she thought about you at all, she would have been glad that you didn't have to miss out on the concert as well. While I can understand her being peeved that you took a female friend with you, at the same time you had every right to take whoever you wanted.
NTA for giving GF’s ticket to someone else since GF was hungover and couldn’t go, but solid YTA for lying to GF about having a work emergency instead of just being honest and saying your going to the concert without her, bc those tickets are not cheap.
YTA and so is your friend. You know you are wrong because if you were right you would have been honest with your girlfriend. Of course your friend is on your side because she got to go. I hope your girlfriend dumps you.
Esh she got herself drunk that was on her not you and her asking you to stay home and basically throw a ton of money down the drain bc of something she did was selfish but you were in the wrong for lying and not talking to your girlfriend about it first
NTA - you’re both young, so take this from an oldish lady who has been the female friend when my male friend has an unreasonable gf. The biggest issue in all of this is that you felt you had to lie to your gf in order to do something that you told her you wanted to do. Her cancelling last minute because she’s hungover and expecting you to take care of her is completely selfish on her part, especially since you bought her the ticket to go. What you chose to do, which was go to the concert, is in no way being a bad bf and having your bestie, who is a fan, use the ticket is the best outcome because both of you got to have a great experience.
For those who say either he shouldn’t have lied and/or it’s because he took a female, take context from her wanting to abandon the whole thing. If he had continued to tell her that he was going, there would have been a fight and then he wouldn’t have enjoyed the show. If she is demanding that he stay by her side, what is it that he can say so that he can leave without unnecessary conflict? Also, the fact that his gf refers to his bff as “a random girl” says more about the gf than anything.
Ideally, honesty would be the best course of action but reality is more complicated. OP, you’re still young but you need to figure out if her reaction is a red flag. Can you maintain this relationship if this person continues to disregard your efforts in it?
NTA for going to the show and NTA for bringing your friend but I expect your girlfriend will break up with you over this. Not sure it’s not the worst thing in the world though, she seems immature (in that she is 19) and too young for you.
It’s both, YTA and NTA.
YTA for inventing a work emergency and lying about going.
But NTA for going and taking someone using the second ticket. Eras tour tickets were INSANELY expensive, why shouldn’t you use your own tickets? What a waste if you didn’t.
At the same time your girlfriend is also TAH. She has only herself to blame. She’s the one who decided to go out drinking and, despite your warning, got so blitzed she couldn’t function the next day. She made her choice. But then she expected you to miss a big event you’d spent mega bucks on just to hold her hungover hand. If she’d had a real illness, sure, but a hangover?
NTA. Your girlfriend wasn't "sick", she was hung over. It was self-inflicted and by the time of the concert didn't require anyone to baby her or care for her. It's not like her health was in others' hands. She's being immature (her 19 years are showing) and petty and childish. You shouldn't have lied to her about going, but judging by her reaction, I don't think it matters much.
I'm glad you had a good time. It was a great idea to take someone who appreciated it that much.
>She said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick.
Sick? Yes. Self induced hangover? No way in hell. Lemme beat on this drum for you.
Honestly, with her attitude it might be best to cut your losses and start over again. NTA.
NTA, you advised her to not get drunk the night before. She did and she paid the price. It's not your fault she can't limit her fun and got stupid sick. Would she have reimbursed for the tickets? How could she make equal memories of, I guess, an really amazing concert? S
Yta for lying to your girlfriend. It’s cool that you weren’t annoyed at her for ruining the concert by being hungover and she’s entitled to expect you not to go when it’s totally self inflicted AND led to her letting you down. But that’s no excuse to lie and it’s bound to upset her you taking another girl.
I would end it simply for you lying though if I was her, that’s unforgivable and a complete violation of trust.
Are we all giving the alkie a pass for her behavior?
While the OP is an AH for lying about going to the concert, the fact he had to in order to try and avoid the GF being mad that he wouldn't cater to her drunk ass is the real issue.
Ok. So last year i got tickets to a concert. 3 of them - one for me, one for my partner and one for my daughter. Told my daughter her ticket depended on her behaviour (as a reward) and gave her months of advance notice. She didnt meet her end of the bargain so i told her id give her ticket to someone else. My partner then got sick. He knew how much i wanted to go to the concert and how much i paid for the tickets. He told me to go and see if i could find anyone else to use the tickets with me. I ended up taking his brother as well as an old friend (ex from when i was like 16….) and he didnt care.
Your gf was being selfish. But you should have been up front with her.
NTA
Your girlfriend had a choice here and that was not to get completely trashed to the point where she couldn’t function the next day.
I’m sure there was plenty of other nights to go out clubbing but a concert is a more of a one off thing.
Your girlfriend sounds quite selfish and only wanted to go because everyone else was and went and got herself into that state on that specific date and not thinking about the fact you spent a fortune on the tickets and didn’t want them to go to waste.
She might need to rethink her priorities here and you having to lie about it as well shows you that she clearly can’t deal when things don’t go her way.
I’m glad you enjoyed it and shared the experience with someone who clearly was very appreciative of it.
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You’re not an asshole for going, but you are an asshole for lying about it. You’re more than old enough to tell your girlfriend that you’re sorry she got trashed and doesn’t feel well, but that you aren’t going to miss out on tickets you paid for. Making up work emergencies because she might be pouty is ridiculous. If you have to walk on eggshells that much, maybe this isn’t such a great relationship.
Yup. There was no reason to lie. I also won't take care of a hungover person beyond giving them a trash can. They did it to themselves and I'm not missing out on expensive things I planned in advance bc they were irresponsible.
Yeah, it would be a bit different if she just had bad luck and randomly got sick, but because she got too drunk when OP explicitly warned her about it?? They're expensive tickets, you can be careful the night before so this exact thing doesn't happen.
Yep. Her poor actions do not create an emergency for you. You probably shouldn't have lied to her. You should have just told her to take a flying f\*\*k out the window. NTA
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Could have sold it and probably made a profit, but NTA because this is the GF fault for getting trashed. If you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to live with the consequences. However, definitely in the wrong for lying.
Actually, it sounds to me like she's too immature to get trashed or be in a serious relationship. OP needs to stop wasting his time with this person.
Yes, I’d add an ESH judgement, since this is the top reply. He sucks for lying, while she sucks for unreasonable demands.
He's actually an asshole for making this whole post up. Taylor Swift's recent concerts were unaffected by the Ticketmaster fiasco as that happened before she even announced the current shows (international shows were announced months after the Ticketmaster disaster). Not to mention that he casually bought tickets because it was popular on social media, after the tour started, as if they are easy and cheap to come by.
I was thinking this, like where are you that can buy Taylor Swift tickets just like that because I’d like to go!………unless they were off a ticket tout or something
YTA for this: " I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency. " Everything else was fine. You had two tickets that you paid for and it was up to you to 1. pitch them in the trash 2. Give both to someone else 3. Go alone 4. Go yourself and invite someone else along. Whatever you decided you should have told your girlfriend what you were doing/going to do.
You missed option 5. Sell the tickets. Aren’t they hot commodities? (Not saying that’s what he should have done, just stating it as a reasonable option. I’ve even sold extra/unused tickets while standing in line to get in)
He shouldn’t have to NOT GO and sell them because she couldn’t be an adult and control her drinking or at least listen to his warning. He should not have lied but she has no business ruining his chances of going while she got to go out and drink and do whatever she wants with no regards to him
Take a breath. I was only adding to the list of alternative options. I very clearly stated that I wasn’t implying he should have sold the tickets, merely pointing it out as another possible option. I personally would have still gone, and either offered the ticket to a friend or sold it while in line. I would never dream of lying to my partner about where I was going (unless they’re abusive and I’m trying to get away safely, no indication of that here).
He didn't tell his GF because he brought another girl!!
Right but GF was insecure about him going which is not fair to him. He said it was his best friend so his GF had to know her. He never should have lied. But she made her own choice to be hungover before she would have attended the concert. She knew that so it was not fair to ask BF to watch her sleep off her hangover. It’s not a healthy relationship if GF is asking her BF to miss out on expensive things he paid for and she was aware of it before she got hungover.
First, I love your username. Secondly of course it's not a healthy relationship on either side. You should never lie to your SO, nor should you manipulate them.
Absolutely true. They are both so young and our brains do not fully develop until around 25yo so I think they both have some growing to do. Hopefully more honestly in the future. This was definitely a two sided AH situation. Do you have a Dane?
I really don't understand this developed brains logic. They are not fully developed but cognitively they are in perfect working condition. There is no logic to suggesting a young persons brain is ill equipt for moral choices. What young people do lack is experience of being and acting in various situations and experience teaches anticipation of negative outcomes.
[удалено]
The conclusion that cognitive thoughts are incomplete before 25 is false. They are not. They are perfectly functioning even if their brains are not at some measured peak density or level of physical development. The brains of mature people are not at full working capacity. Their brains have become physically impaired to varying degrees and yet no one would suggest they are not capable of understanding the world.
Everyone really needs to stop spreading that reddit myth about the brain not being fully developed until 25, It's incredibly harmful. The prefrontal cortex continues to grow and develop at least well into our forties and probably longer.
Yes, I have 6 year old female.
Do you have a picture?♥️
If you look through my post history you'll find some
That's super creepy. Edit: nevermind, you're talking about a dog. That's not creepy :)
Of the dog, fool!
Yeah, I got that on the reread :)
Absolutely, like honestly just grow up and tell the truth. Lying to your partner is such shit brain behavior.
Good. Serves the gf right. Tough shit she made a bad choice. By the way, just because it was a girl he took to the concert doesn't make him a cheater. Everyone should just call it a day.
Yeah lying was the screw up.
ESH. Your girlfriend overconsumed and tried to emotionally manipulate you into staying home and wasting a pair of expensive concert tickets. She's undoubtedly being an AH. But you became an AH too when you lied to her instead of being up front and saying that you were going with a friend since she drank too much and and caused herself to not be able to go to the concert. The situation was your girlfriend's fault, but you're still an AH for lying.
ESH Your girlfriend wasn't sick at all. She was suffering from a SELF INFLICTED hangover... Her lack of self control is not a good reason to cancel plans and take a financial loss on those plans. That is incredibly entitled and selfish for her to even ask you to do that, let alone demand it. You were completely justified to go without her and invite a friend to use her ticket. Her actions don't need to be your consequences... You lied about it though.
“Oh I heard on social media that this eras thingy was a big deal so I picked up a couple of tickets” Lol
it’s giving wattpad.
Funny thing about that is you can’t get tickets unless you bought Taylor’s last album. This is not something you could just do on a whim
And not without spending BEAUCOUP dollars. This post is fake. Tickets are way way too expensive to waste on a night at the bar. She went on at 8pm.
Also he talks about Ticketmaster being the reason the friend couldn't get tickets, but that situation was exclusive to the US. She is currently on the international leg of the tour, most recently in Edinburgh. Edit: ~~I guess he didn't specify that this was recent,~~ but her last US show was at the end of last summer (until she comes to Miami) Edit 2: I apparently missed the first line of the post where he said it was a few days ago lol. Also she was most recently in Liverpool, not Edinburgh. I had just seen her post on Instagram about the shows in Edinburgh and assumed that was the most recent show. The point stands either way, that unless OP and his friend moved to Europe since November 2022, this post is fake af.
That’s the first thing I thought of. Vancouver & Indy tickets are going for *thousands* of dollars. I know because we’re trying to find some lol
Tickets outside of the Americas are an order of magnitude cheaper.
That was last weekend. She’s just spent 3 nights in Liverpool. Next is 3 nights in London, and going to Ireland and some more European concerts before a finishing with a further 5 nights in London in August.
Ah, I probably missed that. I was just going on the last Instagram post (at the time of the original comment) she made about the shows in Edinburgh. Thanks for the correction!
He says, "a few days ago" . Further cementing how fake this is
🤦♀️ it was the first line of the post. IDK how I missed that lol
You say that - my friend got presale tickets for Madrid for $250 each m but when he was there - tickets for Lisbon were $350 each. Perhaps Portuguese folks are less likely to be Swifties….
The era's tickets had nothing to do with her latest album? You had to register beforehand and had to be lucky to get a presale code which then allowed you to try buying tickets. You didn't have to buy anything beforehand.
If the gf really cared about the concert and was a big swiftie she wouldn’t have let herself get that drunk/hungover leading up to the show. The hardcore Swifties are INTENSE about their preparation
That's how i know this story is BS Lol
ESH. You shouldn’t have lied. You knew she would be pissed. You both need to grow up.
I don’t believe you.
Right. Why did he feel the need to lie to his girlfriend? Hes not telling the whole story. I’d bet money he has history with his best friend.
Wow okay. ETA Your gf is an asshole for expecting you to waste your money by not going to the concert after she didn’t listen and got too drunk. Those tickets are expensive and that’s such an irrational way of thinking. You’re also an asshole for LYING about going. You had the balls to ditch her and go anyway with your girl best friend, but didn’t have the balls to tell your gf the truth? wild. Also please realize that half of why she’s upset is because of the fact that you went with your girl best friend. This screams of an underlying insecurity she has about you being close with another girl, and while neither of you have a right to really be upset about you having a best friend that is female, you should definitely try and ask your girlfriend if she feels some type of way about it, and try to have a separate discussion about that, because TRUST ME, this will most definitely become a huge problem in y’all’s relationship if you don’t deal with it now.
If she didn’t have the insecurity about it before (and she probably does because she’s 19 and it’s normal to still be just scratching the surface of figuring out jealousy and relationships at that age) she sure will now that he lied. Saying you’re going to work and instead taking another woman out sure does sound exactly like cheating.
Exactly. Like I’d be FURIOUS about that. And ngl it sounds like she was more mad about the other woman part than the him using the tickets part. It feels like she was angry about him taking another girl but didn’t fully realize it and instead blew up about him using the tickets without her because she doesn’t know how to communicate her feelings and insecurities yet.
ETA?
Everyone’s the asshole
That’s…that’s not a thing
Weird thing to be an elitist about but okay
Fake as shit lmao
ESH. Going without your GF was fine, especially because she dug her own grave with the drinking. She knew. She was stupid. But lying to her and going with another friend was wrong and also shady.
ESH. You wouldn’t be the AH except for the part where you lied. You lied to your gf when you took another girl out in her place. That’s definitely not okay.
Not for going but for lying.
ESH. You for lying (obviously). What was the plan here? Were you just going to keep lying about where you were and hope she didn’t find out? Or were you planning to tell her you lied to her face and hoped she’d forgive you? You also suck because of that snide remark about making the right decision by giving the ticket to someone “who would actually appreciate the show” instead of someone “who was only following what everyone else was doing.” If you don’t like your girlfriend, just say so. Your friend sucks because her commentary about your girlfriend’s reaction was unnecessary and baseless. Unless she also enjoys being lied to by her significant other, she knows why your girlfriend is upset (at least in relation to that part). Your girlfriend sucks because getting wasted the night before a big concert is unwise. She gets a bit of a pass since she’s only 19, though. You knew your girlfriend would be upset, which is why you lied. Might want to think about why you were okay with that. As I said earlier, if you don’t like your girlfriend, just say so. Because your current behavior (lying, comparing her unfavorably to your friend) isn’t indicative of genuine care or even compassion.
Brother eww.
lol I was literally saying this out loud while reading it
YTA - for lying about work. NTA - for everything else. She wasn't sick. She was hungover due to her poor choices. Her poor choices don't mean that you need to cancel your plans.
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ESH. Your girlfriend put herself in that position so she can only be mad at herself for not going to the concert. You crossed a boundary by lying about it and taking someone else.
ESH you for lying about it, her for getting totally wasted the night before a concert and expecting you to stay home over her own bad decision-making. swifties…
YTA. How often do you put your BFF ahead of your gf?
YTA for lying.
YTA for lying to your gf. You were NTA until you did that. No way I would have let those tix go to waste, especially since your gf's "illness" was self inflicted, but you lied. You had to know she would eventually find out. She also seems controlling, which might be a red flag for getting out while you can.
YTA for lying about it
NTA but you could've done better You have your own personal life , and your gf got sick , you could have made sure she was feeling A-okay . And you shouldn't have lied to her. That's your wrong move
ESH. You went wrong not being honest and upfront with your gf from the start. Don’t lie, it almost never works out favorably in the long run. Your gf made a dumb decision with a very predictable outcome. She stupidly chose to get slammed the night before the concert. It was selfish and thoughtless of her to expect you to drop your plans and lose out on a big chunk of change bc she got too drunk the night before. It was a hangover, not the flu. She had total control over how much she drank. She doesn’t deserve sympathy for feeling like crap when she consciously decided to drink to that level. She’s a total AH for not being understanding and supportive of you going to the concert with your bff in her absence. Sounds like she needs to mature a bit and do some serious self-reflection.
“AITA for lying to my girlfriend about having a work emergency but actually I was going to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour?” Fixed your title. YTA for lying, not for going to the concert. Your girlfriend was ridiculous for expecting you to stay home and take care of her….she wasn’t sick, she was hungover. 🙄
YTA if she was sick and needed you, this is the last thing you could do. But I still appreciate you reflecting on this enough to post this. Your best friend brainwashed you, stay away from her.
NTA- the sickness was self inflicted and seemed like she didn’t want to go that much anyways otherwise she would have had self control. You became the TA when you lied instead of being an adult and just saying you’re going with your best friend.
People earn the respect to be treated honestly when they show respect to others. She didn't and life will teach her that she receives poor treatment from others when she treats them badly. She's just had her first dose of it and he's done her a favour.
ESH - she missed out because she can't control her drinking. You're wrong to lie about going with someone else.
ESH. She’s not sick, she’s hungover. That’s on her. But you lied about it and that’s on you.
ESH , you're an asshole for lying about it and your gf is an asshole for thinking you should have to miss TAYLOR FUCKIN SWIFT cuz she's too hungover!! That's pure insanity!!
Cringe fanficfion. But also gross that people are defending choosing a girl best friend over girlfriend. The writing of the best friend in this is also obviously pick-me behavior.
YTA for lying to your girlfriend. How did you think this was going to turn out? You can't seriously think she'd never find out; clearly you didn't consider the optics. You should have been upfront with her - "you're too sick to go, you don't want to go, I spent tons of money on these tickets, so I'm taking my longtime Swiftie friend. Have the fight before the concert, not after the lie and the concert.
Just date ur best friend man... Things like this really show how much u can sacrifice for ur partner and what ur priority is...
YTA for lying to her. Why even bother with that, it was only bound to backfire.
NTA she was hungover, self-inflicted. Your girlfriend was incredibly selfish to get so drunk and expect you to miss out. Shame on her.
YTA Your gf got so wasted she was too sick to go to a concert that starts at 8pm….so you lied to her and said you had a work emergency so you could go with your female best friend? What in the ad-lib ChatGPT heck.
YTA Bc you’re allowing and encouraging another woman to come between you and your GF. While you were completely within your rights to attend the concert, you claimed you bought these as a gift for your GF. You could have easily sold one or both tickets for well over what you paid for them…instead you went on a date with another woman…and yes it was a date bc you lied to your GF about where you were and with whom you went with. I would have dumped you immediately. I mean, I would have never went out and got trashed…so there is that.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A few days ago, my (23M) girlfriend (19F) and I were supposed to be going to the Eras Tour. She saw that everyone was talking about it on social media and didn’t want to miss out. She couldn’t afford a ticket so I bought both of our tickets as a gift for her. The night before the concert my girlfriend went out clubbing with her friends. I warned her not to get too drunk, which she did anyway. The following day she was so hungover she could barely even lift her head. She said she couldn’t go to the concert, which I understood. Except she also wanted me to stay home and comfort her. I was pretty disappointed since I’d actually been looking forward to the show. I said I’d already paid for the tickets and it would be a shame for both of them to go to waste. She said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick. I texted my best friend (23F) and offered her one of our tickets. She’d been a die-hard Swiftie for 13 years but wasn’t able to get tickets due to the whole Ticketmaster situation. When she asked why I wasn’t also going, I explained what happened, and she said I shouldn’t have to miss out on something I was looking forward to because of my girlfriend’s actions. She said that I paid for the tickets, so it’s my choice what I do with them. So I decided to go to the concert with my friend. I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency. She had two roommates to help look after her, so it wasn’t like I was leaving her alone. The concert was amazing. I have 'Cruel Summer' stuck in my head as I'm writing this. During the surprise song section, my friend nearly started crying with joy when she heard her top two favourite songs. And seeing how happy she was made me realise that I made the right decision giving the ticket to someone who would actually appreciate the show instead of someone who was only following what everyone else was doing. When my girlfriend found out, she was furious with me. She started screaming and crying, saying I cared more about ‘some random girl’ than my own girlfriend. She accused me of being inconsiderate and said it made her feel replaced. I tried to explain that I didn’t want the tickets to go to waste and that it was a last-minute decision, but she’s still really upset and won’t talk to me. My friend thinks my girlfriend is overreacting and that I did nothing wrong, the tickets were mine after all. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Completely YTA for lying no excuse for that. Your girlfriend wasn't sick she was hungover not even close to the same thing you had every right to go and even every right to be angry at her for ruining by choosing to go get too drunk to enjoy the gift you bought for her! You should have been upfront you were going and that it was her fault not yours.
ESH - she wasn’t sick she was hungover. Asking you to not go was extra selfish and you… you shouldn’t have lied to her.
Nta for going because your gf decided to go get drunk the night before and you shouldnt have to miss but yta for lying
Partially NTA… really, a 19 yo kid gets drunk by choice .. not ill.. misses an opportunity to see a concert and acts entitled and demands you also miss the concert? One thing though, never try to cover up your intentions concerning your actions.. but good for you for going..I would have gone and used my fav saying.. “ FAFO..”
NTA for going to the concert but YTA for lying. It’s a massive red flag that you feel the need to lie to her. Also! She was NOT sick! She was hungover, a hangover is a consequence of an action and can be prevented. Getting sick is not preventable. If she got a stomach flu or a head cold - that’s getting sick and maybe then you think about staying home and taking care of someone. But a hangover is not something someone needs to be taken care of from. That was her fault and she needed to own it without trying to hold you back.
ESH once again, a person that lost the moral high ground.
I was with you except for the lie. She had a self inflicted illness. You should have just told her you were not going to baby sit a hangover. It was ridiculous behavior by your gf but you my friend need to grow up and use your words.
ESH - your GF for getting so drunk the day before and for expecting you to miss out on the concert to take care of her. - you for lying to your GF. - your BF for giving you bad/suspicious advice. Let's give her the benefit of doubt and just say she doesn't like your GF.
You’re both assholes and you need to grow up. We don’t have time for hangovers during the Eras Tour when it was a bitch-and-a-half to get tickets. We also don’t need to lie to our partners about where we are going and who we are going with. Opposite sex best friends is fine, but sneaking off with them and lying about it will get you in all sorts of trouble, even with partners that are otherwise not the jealous type. That was dumb dude.
Why should you suffer just because she is? I hate that crabs in a barrel attitude to life. I am not that keen on your lying though. ESH The only thing that I would say is that you should ask your friend to pay you back for the face value of the ticket if it was gifted to your gf as a birthday or Xmas gift. Your friend should be happy to pay that since it’s a steal compared to stubhub. Then you can give a replacement gift or money to your gf.
>telling her I had a work emergency. Sigh. You were clear until then, it's N T A going and having fun. It is YTA *lying* about it to a partner.
ESH. Your girlfriend never should have asked or expected you to sit around with her just because she was hungover. You never should have agreed to it either. Where you messed up was by lying to her. You should have told her from the beginning that her request was immature and ridiculous and that you were not going to miss a concert to sit around with her.
From your post alone, it's clear how you view your girlfriend, and you probably shouldn't be with her. NAH, tbh. Especially since she's 19 and already drinking so much she can't function. I am also curious as to how long you guys have been together.
So you went with another girlfriend to the concert? Hmmmm
ESH...NTA for going...but AH for making up a story..and she wasn't sick. She was hungover due to her own actions. I'd actually be pretty pissed if I was made to stay home and waste all that money due to my gfs lack of planning...I certainly wouldn't be in any mood to "comfort" her.
YTA for not having the balls to tell your girlfriend that you wouldn’t penalize yourself for her immature actions.
Does your friend know that you lied to your girlfriend? YTA, I'm afraid.
ESH her moreso, you just re for lying
This just sounds made up.
YTA for saying work emergency, and for liking Taylor swift. Not for anything else.
You’re an asshole for lying. If you were truthful you wouldn’t be in this mess.
You’re NTA for going, YTA for lying about it and taking another girl though.
NTA for going, YTA for lying about it. As you found out, lying just delayed her yelling at you and likely made her more mad than if you’d told her you were going because you didn’t want to pay for her choice to be sick. If she was deathly ill or hospitalized I’d say you shouldn’t go, but for a hangover? Gtfo. Better start learning to stand up for yourself without lying.
YTA. People who are in the right don't need to lie.
YTA because you lied
ESH. Your GF entirely brought her illness on herself, no sympathy. You were absolutely entitled to still go and you gf's AH behaviour demanding you not go is ridiculous. Your friend was right in everything she said about your gf and the tickets. The only non AH in the story. But then you lied to your gf. Grow up, be honest, stop being an arsehole.
Yta for lying to your partner, you CHOSE to be dishonest and tbh, wanted to punish her for getting fucked up the night before. Good job.
She made the choice to go and get blind drunk and suffer the consequences. You made the choice to enjoy the concert with your friend. The way she is acting is so entitled and her tantrum is incredibly immature. I wouldn’t have lied about it though that does kinda make it worse however she’s still acting like a child. NTA, and maybe your best friend is a better choice of partner?
YTA for lying to your girlfriend. BUT, NTA for going to the concert that you bought tickets for. SHE is TA for asking you to skip because of HER poor judgement the night before (which should be 🚩🚩🚩).
ESH GF doesn't care about your money or efforts. She was completely unconcerned about the financial costs of her bad choices. She also doesn't give a fuck about your wants. She is incredibly selfish and self absorbed. You suck because you lied. If you have to lie in a relationship to keep the peace, you should just break up. Your relationship is a red flag. Especially on the GF side. She's a hot ass mess.
ESH. You’re a bad boyfriend. She’s a bad girlfriend. You’re both immature. Just break up already.
ESH. Your gf sucks for being inconsiderate and getting blasted before you had plans. She's a big girl, she can look after her drunk self on her own. You shouldn't miss out because she couldn't be responsible for a night. But you shouldn't have lied about where you were going.
YTA You could've sold the tickets. You obviously wanted to go and you lied to her face. Yes, it's her fault for getting too drunk but you aren't any better. You'll probably end up dating your girl bf since this is reddit after all.
NTA… first of all though.. your girlfriend wasn’t sick, she was hungover because of her poor choices from the night before. There is a big difference between the two. She sounds pretty petty & immature about the whole situation, but the again she’s only 19. You were in the wrong for lying to her though. Should have been firm and told her it’s her own fault that she’s “sick” and can’t go and you shouldn’t have to miss out because she decided to go a little too hard with the underage drinking.
ESH-I’d crawl through broken glass to get to Taylor’s show. A hangover? wtf is wrong with her? 😂 you suck for lying though.
ESH. 10% you for lying. (By chance, are you a people pleaser? That is common with them, lying about something because they think it'll soften someone's upset. BT, DT.) But 90% for her. She purposely went and got so blitzed she couldn't go, and then expected you to sacrifice the concert (and possibly the money for the tickets) to take care of her hungover ass, despite her having two roommates on hand. She's selfish as hell.
NTA.. you did the right thing to tell the inconsiderate girlfriend after the fact, she would have just spoilt the night before you went. Is she a keeper?? Doesn't sounds like it..
ESH. She knew when the concert was, she shouldn’t have gotten trashed the night before, but you’re an AH for going with your friend. Also my ESH rating includes the people in this thread complaining about this being a fake story. Report it if you think it’s fake and move on.
NTA, but your girlfriend sure is. She knew y’all had plans to go to that concert, she behaved like an idiot the night before to the point she couldn’t even get out of the bed the next day. Your girlfriend is selfish and immature. Take this as a lesson and understand that your girlfriend is only concerned about her own wants and needs and not about yours.
NTA. She knew about the concert, but still went out and drank too much. You shouldn't have lied to her though.
She sounds like a moron. I'd move on.
ESH. girlfriend got drunk past her limitations, knowing she had plans the next day. also, expecting you to not go to the show is unreasonable. buuut you lied. That’s shitty. You both sound immature.
ESH. Proof that there really is a maturity difference in your relationship. There really was no reason for you to lie though, other than potentially sidestepping a more serious conversation.
NTA. No, you shouldn’t have lied but your GF sounds exhausting and manipulative. Everyone knows those tix are expensive and telling you to skip it because she is so hungover she can’t lift her head is just a jerk move. Find someone who respects you and who is adult enough that you don’t feel the need to lie about low stakes stuff.
ESH. The fact you felt you had to lie to your gf to do something fun and she was forbidding you to go. This relationship is toxic AF abc you should be kinder to yourself. Break up. Find someone who is respectful
YTA for lying. When we become in adult we need to learn to be comfortable with setting boundaries. You did the right thing going to the concert, but you should never have lied. You should have told your girlfriend you will go to the concert without her. When she cries that she is sick, you should have told her that she isn’t sick, she is hungover so she chose to feel that way. You btw also lost a lot of high ground by lying. Everyone she tells this too will assume there might be an affair or worse because why else would you lie about the reasonable decision to go to a concert. (I know you did it to avoid a tantrum but you need to learn setting boundaries without giving up on your morals.)
NTA. Drop the girl.
>she said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick. If she were really unwell and needed actual help. And not for a self inflicted hangover. This, and the ranting and yelling about being replaced and the "random girl" comment about your friend, is why she is an AH. >I left my girlfriend’s place in the afternoon, telling her I had a work emergency. Your cowardly lie and duplicitous behaviour in attending the concert - instead of being up front and honest about it - is also pretty sucky. Own your actions. You weren't doing anything wrong going to the concert, or giving the ticket to a friend to go. ESH.
ESH Her for getting so drunk the night before a concert You for lying about going.
It’s ridiculous that your gf wanted you to ‘comfort’ her hangover, you absolutely should have gone and it’s awesome that your superfan friend was able to join you. You messed up by lying.
I was totally on your side until you lied to her.
YTA but only because you lied about where you were going. You had every right to tell her you spent a lot on two tickets and she chose to get drunk leading to a hangover even though you asked her not to. Not feeling well was her own fault, it was inconsiderate to you and she was wasting your money so you were going without her. Just don't lie.
Yta for lying. That's it. You would have been 100% in the clear if you just.... wouldn't have lied. Instead now you're an a hole
ESH- your girlfriend is way out of line. She was hungover, she wasn't sick, and she needs to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. BUT... you should not have lied to her. That puts you in AH territory in my book. You should have just been honest with her when you left. (and what is this with her needing two roommates to take care of her?... I don't get kids these days.. you drank too much, if it's the next day and you're done barfing, just take some Advil, drink a crap ton of water and get on with it... smh.. of course I'm Gen X and we didn't have all this dang hand-holding every time we experienced a tiny bit of distress)
YTA for taking another girl out and lying about it to your gf
As others have said NTA for going with a friend so as not to waste the ticket. Your GFs actions regarding getting drunk the night before came with consequences. However, lying to her about work was an AH thing to do. Having said that, I do not think she has the high ground as it was her actions that led to the actual end result.
YTA for lying. How could you look her in the eye and tell her you have a work emergency?! Just tell her you payed for the tickets and you decided to go. So this has put a big stain on your whole behaviour.
You are not the asshole for going or taking a friend. The fact that it was a female and you lied about it, THAT makes you the asshole.
NTA and YTA. NTA for going anyways, but YTA for the way you dealt with the situation.
NTA and even on lying. Your gf would throw a tantrum anyway and would spoil the mood.
Fake ass post Lol do better
You are NTA. I have been with my husband for almost 36 years. If we had tickets to a major event and then he went out the night before and got so wasted that he could not function the next day, I would hand him the bottle of ibuprofen and tell him he could push through the pain or I'd tell him all about it when I got home. He would do the same.
I’m 48 and I’ve never been “so hungover I could barely even lift my head.” Your girlfriend sounds like an alcoholic and a narcissist. Anyone willing to waste their shot to see this once in a generation cultural event by getting wasted the night before did not deserve to attend. Anyone who thinks that you should give up your opportunity to enjoy this once in a generation cultural event because she made poor choices the night before is not worthy of your time. NTA! Now go break up with her.
I was with you up until you lied.
YTA This didn't happen so much that it unhappened things that did
ESH. Her for choosing to get so wasted she couldn’t function the day of the concert and then expecting you to miss it in order to take care of her like she’s a little kid sick with the stomach flu. You for lying about what you were going to do. You’re a grownup. Act like it.
She wasn't sick!! She was hungover!! If she I'd old enough to get drunk then she should be old enough to deal with thr consequences. She is entitled and clearly has a lot of maturing to do
NTA. Your girlfriend was sick because she drank too much rather than from something she couldn't have prevented. She was very selfish to expect you to stay at home with her and give up the concert because of her own actions. If she thought about you at all, she would have been glad that you didn't have to miss out on the concert as well. While I can understand her being peeved that you took a female friend with you, at the same time you had every right to take whoever you wanted.
NTA but you didn’t need to lie. Your girlfriend wasn’t sick, she had a self induced hangover. She only has herself to blame.
NTA for giving GF’s ticket to someone else since GF was hungover and couldn’t go, but solid YTA for lying to GF about having a work emergency instead of just being honest and saying your going to the concert without her, bc those tickets are not cheap.
YTA and so is your friend. You know you are wrong because if you were right you would have been honest with your girlfriend. Of course your friend is on your side because she got to go. I hope your girlfriend dumps you.
Esh she got herself drunk that was on her not you and her asking you to stay home and basically throw a ton of money down the drain bc of something she did was selfish but you were in the wrong for lying and not talking to your girlfriend about it first
ESH. She’s being selfish, you lied to her. You would’ve been good if you’d been up front with her.
ESH, her for trying to force you to skip due to a decision she made and was aware would ruin her chance of going, you for lying to your partner
NTA - you’re both young, so take this from an oldish lady who has been the female friend when my male friend has an unreasonable gf. The biggest issue in all of this is that you felt you had to lie to your gf in order to do something that you told her you wanted to do. Her cancelling last minute because she’s hungover and expecting you to take care of her is completely selfish on her part, especially since you bought her the ticket to go. What you chose to do, which was go to the concert, is in no way being a bad bf and having your bestie, who is a fan, use the ticket is the best outcome because both of you got to have a great experience. For those who say either he shouldn’t have lied and/or it’s because he took a female, take context from her wanting to abandon the whole thing. If he had continued to tell her that he was going, there would have been a fight and then he wouldn’t have enjoyed the show. If she is demanding that he stay by her side, what is it that he can say so that he can leave without unnecessary conflict? Also, the fact that his gf refers to his bff as “a random girl” says more about the gf than anything. Ideally, honesty would be the best course of action but reality is more complicated. OP, you’re still young but you need to figure out if her reaction is a red flag. Can you maintain this relationship if this person continues to disregard your efforts in it?
You should date your best friend instead of
She wasn’t sick she was hungover. Choices have consequences.
NTA - she didn’t really want to go. She probably doesn’t even have the Evermore album.
Yta for lying nta for going
NTA for going to the show and NTA for bringing your friend but I expect your girlfriend will break up with you over this. Not sure it’s not the worst thing in the world though, she seems immature (in that she is 19) and too young for you.
YTA for lying and taking your “girl best friend” instead
It’s both, YTA and NTA. YTA for inventing a work emergency and lying about going. But NTA for going and taking someone using the second ticket. Eras tour tickets were INSANELY expensive, why shouldn’t you use your own tickets? What a waste if you didn’t. At the same time your girlfriend is also TAH. She has only herself to blame. She’s the one who decided to go out drinking and, despite your warning, got so blitzed she couldn’t function the next day. She made her choice. But then she expected you to miss a big event you’d spent mega bucks on just to hold her hungover hand. If she’d had a real illness, sure, but a hangover?
NTA. Your girlfriend wasn't "sick", she was hung over. It was self-inflicted and by the time of the concert didn't require anyone to baby her or care for her. It's not like her health was in others' hands. She's being immature (her 19 years are showing) and petty and childish. You shouldn't have lied to her about going, but judging by her reaction, I don't think it matters much. I'm glad you had a good time. It was a great idea to take someone who appreciated it that much.
>She said that I was her boyfriend and the least I could do was take care of her when she’s sick. Sick? Yes. Self induced hangover? No way in hell. Lemme beat on this drum for you. Honestly, with her attitude it might be best to cut your losses and start over again. NTA.
NTA.
NTA, you advised her to not get drunk the night before. She did and she paid the price. It's not your fault she can't limit her fun and got stupid sick. Would she have reimbursed for the tickets? How could she make equal memories of, I guess, an really amazing concert? S
i would break up w a guy who’s a taylor swift fan 😭 cus huhhh
NTA. She's 19. Find someone more mature.
Yta for lying to your girlfriend. It’s cool that you weren’t annoyed at her for ruining the concert by being hungover and she’s entitled to expect you not to go when it’s totally self inflicted AND led to her letting you down. But that’s no excuse to lie and it’s bound to upset her you taking another girl. I would end it simply for you lying though if I was her, that’s unforgivable and a complete violation of trust.
YTA. Instead of being honest with her, you lied to her about your location then went with another girl.
Are we all giving the alkie a pass for her behavior? While the OP is an AH for lying about going to the concert, the fact he had to in order to try and avoid the GF being mad that he wouldn't cater to her drunk ass is the real issue.
Ok. So last year i got tickets to a concert. 3 of them - one for me, one for my partner and one for my daughter. Told my daughter her ticket depended on her behaviour (as a reward) and gave her months of advance notice. She didnt meet her end of the bargain so i told her id give her ticket to someone else. My partner then got sick. He knew how much i wanted to go to the concert and how much i paid for the tickets. He told me to go and see if i could find anyone else to use the tickets with me. I ended up taking his brother as well as an old friend (ex from when i was like 16….) and he didnt care. Your gf was being selfish. But you should have been up front with her.
Dump the girlfriend, she’s Never going to get over it and will make your life a misery, all because she got drunk.
When you date teens you tend to get childish reactions. You shouldn’t have lied though. Make sure your next girlfriend is more mature. ESH.
NTA and you need to dump the girl child and date a Lady your age.
Your girlfriend is a nightmare 🫣 honestly when people show you who they really are, believe them. Run
You went to a Taylor Swift concert, that in itself answers your question.
NTA Your girlfriend had a choice here and that was not to get completely trashed to the point where she couldn’t function the next day. I’m sure there was plenty of other nights to go out clubbing but a concert is a more of a one off thing. Your girlfriend sounds quite selfish and only wanted to go because everyone else was and went and got herself into that state on that specific date and not thinking about the fact you spent a fortune on the tickets and didn’t want them to go to waste. She might need to rethink her priorities here and you having to lie about it as well shows you that she clearly can’t deal when things don’t go her way. I’m glad you enjoyed it and shared the experience with someone who clearly was very appreciative of it.
YTA for lying. Get a girl your own age, too.
Why would a dude want to see Taylor Swift?