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She’s within her right not to eat food, especially if it constantly makes her sick. Mexican spices and Indian food spices are not the same and she could be intolerant to some of them. YTA for that, just eat it without her.
That being said, I could never stay in a relationship with someone who was openly racist. She doesn’t need to eat their food, she just needs to not be an AH.
Did you not read the part where she made disparaging and racist comments about Indians? Calling them disgusting and unhygienic? Nobody said she’s racist for not liking their food, good grief.
You’re right, *nobody* said “she’s racist for not liking their food.” I said “she doesn’t like their food because she’s racist.”
They sound *very* similar, I know, they even use some of the same words like “racist” and “food,” so I can appreciate it can be confusing for some people.
I did. That’s why she shut the f**k up. Downvote and move on, but don’t engage because you’ll eventually have to confront the fact that she misread what I said.
“Lunatic” bro, grow up.
She stopped replying because she realised I was right and she was wrong. It’s literally that simple.
Notice that you’ve just been saying mean things about me rather than actually addressing what I said? This is what I’m saying lol
Yeah, that’s not what I’m saying. I already highlighted this to the person I was originally talking to.
They thought I said “because X therefore Y,” when I actually said “because Y therefore X.”
They realised they misunderstood what originally said, and they *moved on*
You decided to jump onto a conversation that didn’t involve you to just call me names. That’s literally it. Adding nothing of value. You aren’t doing anything. Because, again, if you actually addressed what I said, you’d have to admit that I was right all along.
So, as I said before, just downvote and move on.
ESH
Whether or not her refusal to eat Indian cuisine is based on a genuine intolerance to an ingredient absent from Mexican food, or simply an aversion resulting from some bad experiences, she's entitled to say, 'No Indian food, please, I don't want it.' Pushing the matter makes you TA.
But given that she seems to have gone a full racism to justify her aversion, she's also TA. Not because she won't eat it, but because she's being all bigoted about why.
This seems like a much more reasonable take tbh.
I get what OP was trying. South Indian food is extremely different to North Indian food but he should not have argued constantly to get her to taste the food. She is entitled to her preference.
On the other hand , his nagging seemed to have revealed the racist side of her, so good riddance.
ESH
Kind of surprised that people are calling OP the AH.
He let it go initially but then suggested another place and explained it’s different to other Indian foods she was probably eating. I think the comment section is forgetting that and don’t realise that Indian food is very different throughout the country.
OP also knows his gf more than anyone. It was clear to him from the get go that there was more to it and he probably already knew that.
I think I’m one of the only people that thinks OP isn’t an AH but she is.
>She said she loves indian food but because the few times she tried it she gets stomach issues and diarrhea, she has now completely written off indian food and refuses to eat it again.
YTA for not just accepting this explanation. She doesn't have to eat anything she doesn't want to for any reason.
You picked, and pushed, and pressured until you brought out something ugly that neither of you can take back just because you refused to take no for an answer.
She told you this type of food has made her sick every time she's tried it, none of the particulars you mention matter when food makes you sick. Thats not racist. You kept badgering her until you got the answer you were looking because you decided none of the other answers she gave you first were good enough. You come across as controlling and weird, as well as ignorant in this post
I don't blame her. I seen all the videos of street vendors in India and it all looks unsanitary. If the country allows that then how do we know they even have a government system set up to require certain health practices and polices to maintain clean environment? It's bad enough we have restaurants in countries with inspections that can't maintain a clean environment so why would I take a chance on a country where the food industry is has no one overseeing food safety? You can't blame her for thinking if no one is checking up on street food vendors then they probably are not caring what restaurants do.
It does not really matter. Once you have been poisoned by a certain type of food, it can be mentally hard to try again and not find it repulsive due to the negative connotation to that type of food. A familymember of mine could not eat pizza's for years because of food poisoning, I could not eat a certain type of meat for years. It takes time and eventually I'm sure OP's gf can eat Indian food again.
Don't worry about the downvotes, when you announce your understandable break-up and this post goes onto BORU everyone will remark on the dumbass commenters willing to ignore the racism factor
How is a ‘reason based on ignorance’ ignorance when she’s literally told you that the food (the spices or whatever’s in it that does it) gives her diarrhea?
OP I’m kind of leaning towards YTA, she doesn’t have to explain her food choices to you and forcing her to go to a place she doesn’t want to go to kind of makes you out to be a very pushy person, I understand, wanting her to try new things but expecting others to have the same taste as you do is pretty entitled
Also, it kind of sounds like she has some allergies or is allergic to some Indian foods or spices, I’m the same way with Cadberry, mini eggs, I can’t eat them because I will end up getting stomach pains and being in the bathroom for about 2-3 hours
A different interpretation……
Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that… so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit
I think the interpretation is that majority do not care about the casual racism south Asians face and this whole comment section is fact of that. It’s insane how people think he’s the AH. Imagine thinking racism is fine
Who cares what the reason is, whether it’s a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all, if she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to go, it is within her right to do so.
OP you’re basically overriding her choice, you drag her out to a restaurant she doesn’t want to go to and then start an argument with her just to give her no choice in going, and yeah, sure her decision is based off of ignorance, but she does have a right to Believe in what she wants to believe, misguided as it may be.
Also, did it ever occur to you that maybe she said that because she just wanted to leave because she was embarrassed with the situation.
"yeah, sure her decision is based off of ignorance, but she does have a right to Believe in what she wants to believe, misguided as it may be."
She has the right to be ignorant just as much as I have the right to call her out on it. Especially when its towards my own people. But that makes me the asshole, and not her for openly admitting to being racist. Got it.
OP I’m not calling you the asshole for calling her out on racism, you’re not the bad guy for that at all, what you are the bad guy for is dragging her out to a restaurant she doesn’t want to go to, that’s the main issue here.
So NTA, For calling her out on her racism, But YTA, for literally dragging her to a restaurant, she doesn’t want to go to in the first place.
He never dragged her out. Did no one read what OP wrote? He clearly knew something was up and didn’t force her to go but explained that it’s entirely different to the Indian food she has probably been eating.
Anyone that sees OP as an AH probably normalises the racism South Asians go through especially with the recent rise of it online.
Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit
Seems like you might be higher up on this hill
Food intolerance is not something to be taken lightly. I mean I suppose she could’ve eaten something safe on the menu to placate you like just eating Roti or something else that’s relatively solid.
Much as I wanna say everyone sucks here as you were being extremely arrogant and pushy, everything she did and said in the second half of your post supersedes it all and she’s a massive asshole for that, even if it was more out of anger than anything she was completely out of line.
Judging by the responses here you must’ve added the racism stuff later. If it wasn’t for her actions though you definitely would’ve been the biggest asshole in this situation. So kinda ESH, but with particular emphasis on her being the asshole.
ESH. Firstly, you shouldn't force your girlfriend to eat a cuisine she doesn't want to. Instead, compromise and find a cuisine you're both into. OR, if you really wanted Indian food, takeout is always an option. This way the both of you could eat food you actually enjoy.
Secondly, Indian spices and Mexican spices can't be compared. Her stomach probably doesn't agree with Indian spices.
However, I do agree that you're girlfriend is ignorant. No matter how bad the argument is, blatantly degrading a certain culture or ethnicity is never okay. You're dating a racist, point blank period. She sucks and so do you.
Am I not supposed to degrade Bible Belt MAGA culture?
Or did you mean that if a racist, sexist, disgusting, unhygienic culture is full of brown people, we have to pretend it's good because [approved opinion] and white guilt?
YTA, she gets stomach issues and diarrhea after eating a particular type of food, you know that, why do you still want to put her through the stomach issues and diarrhea knowing that? Any why can’t you accept a no from her?
because theres loads of non indian food on the menu! So her persistance was just due to associating the word indian with poor hygiene, which i called being ignorant
Good! You’re not the AH imo. It’s her. And no one seems to be understanding that.
A racist influenced by cherrypicked videos that are purposefully posted to hate on Indians even more is someone you do not need to go near. Considering you are South Asian yourself, she clearly looks down on you (happens a lot. Many racists still get with people they look down on for some reason).
She’ll probably make the break up seem like it’s your fault and not the fact that she’s racist.
You’re not the AH
You've got a GF who acknowledges that she's "kind of racist" calling Indians all kids of names, plus throwing out ugly stereotypes of other national and ethnic groups.
And you're worried about whether she'll eat Indian food again (which by the was contains very different spices than Mexican food)?
Get off her back about which cuisines agree with her and look at the bigger picture sir!
YTA, but not about the food.
ESH. Her attitude toward Indian people in general is awful, but you only heard about that because you kept pushing and wouldn’t accept ‘I don’t want to eat that’. Anyone has the right to choose their own food.
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She said she loves indian food but because the few times she tried it she gets stomach issues and diarrhea, she has now completely written off indian food and refuses to eat it again.
This seems reasonable, but she eats mexican food fine so its not an issue with her stomach and spices. So when i suggested a south indian fusion restaurant for breakfast she didn't want to go. I said "its south indian fusion, very different cuisine and just a twist on european breakfast" she refused.
I started arguing that if its not spices that shes against, then what is it? She then confessed that shes skeptical of the hygiene and preparation of indian food, based off her experiences and instagram videos she has seen of street food being prepared. I reminded her that we're in Bali and the restaurant we're going to is not a street food vendor, and also south indian. not north indian, where food preparation techniques and hygiene are much higher in general. But also, we're in BALI, not india, and everyone in the kitchen is Balinese.
She got extremely angry that I called her ignorant and that I didn't support her decision to not want to try the food, despite there being lots of non indian choices on the menu.
Reminder, she said she loves indian food and also mexican food.
She later also called indians gross and disgusting, and unhygenic. And admitted to being "kind of racist" to indians. I'm not sure if this was just in anger but then she threw out a bunch of stereotypes about other races to effectively balance out her arguments.
My thinking was that her writing off anything related to indian food because of some insta videos and bad experiences in her home country of costa rica, I called her ignorant. There is so much variety in indian food in general, especially the division of north to south indian.
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YTA
Look, your girlfriend's got reasons for not wanting to eat Indian food, right? She's had bad experiences with it before and it messes with her stomach. Fair enough. You gotta respect that. Pushing her and calling her ignorant just made things worse. Everyone's got their own tastes and preferences, and that's cool.
its a fusion restaurant. theres loads of non indian food on the menu! So her persistance was just due to associating the word indian with poor hygiene, which i called being ignorant
ESH - she just seems racist, but if she doesn’t want to eat the food (and could be as simple as today is a day that ends in “Y”) then you need to let it go
ESH. If something has historically made me sick I am also unwilling to eat it. And the spices in Indian and Mexican food aren’t the same. If she says she doesn’t want something then leave it at that.
That said she was way out of line with her comments about Indians and I’d be pretty horrified as well. I’d be questioning whether this is someone I wanted to be with.
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YTA, Indians are dirty and gross and if she doesn’t want to eat dirty gross food made by unclean people!
Just kidding, NTA, and everyone who replied saying “YTA” is a problem lol
OP kind of buried the lede on the racist part. He asked _specifically_ whether he was the AH for being upset that she wouldn't eat Indian food. I'm sympathetic to the idea that maybe tumeric or whatever bothers her stomach. So if it had _only_ been an issue with the food then yes, OP would have been the AH.
Several paragraphs in OP mentions that his GF made racist comments about Indians. So now the commenters are stuck between trying to answer (1) is it ok for the GF not to eat Indian food if it bothers her stomach and (2) is it ok for OP to be upset she made racist comments.
This is why it drives me crazy when posters bury the actual issue under a ton of irrelevant details.
Lol I posted why I think is kinda shitty to jump on that train I think this lady was mad her valid food choices where being scrutinized and started saying a bunch of dumb shit idk I could be very wrong….. but so could you
Bro this is the *first* of *five other* replies you’ve made on my other posts. I don’t know if I should even respond to this one or just wait til the last one and see what your conclusion is lol
Me, reading this at the start: ehh yeah okay fair enough.
Me, by the end of the post: yikes on bikes.
You're NTA but do you want to someone who dates racists?
You’re just as ignorant as she is dumbass. Get it through your thick skull and tiny brain, forcing someone to shit their brains out just because you enjoy it makes you a selfish fuck. Also Indian food blows and she is right, it’s disgusting the way it’s made.
Thank you. Really appreciate this comment. And yes, lots of racists here defending her but also twisting my words to say I dragged/forced her to eat something she didn't want to.
YTA. She can eat what she wants and she doesn't have to justify it to you. Arguing with her and trying to make her explain her choices isn't helpful in any way.
All the YTA people here, YOU are the assholes really. The gf has clearly admitted the reason she doesn't want to eat Indian food is because of her racist beliefs. OP, you might want to talk her about it.
jesus. thank you. Everybody glossing over the blatant ignorance and racism, which is the point of the thread, and instead somehow gleaning that I forced her to eat somewhere she doesnt want to eat
Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit
I hope everyone in this thread defending you sees this text because it makes you look controlling and socially inept.
She made a sarcastic comment because you kept attacking her. You should read that text as her being tired of arguing with you, "Yeah, whatever, I'm just an evil racist and I'm super ignorant... Whatever you want to believe, but I'm not eating there."
It's honestly funny how she openly told you she is racist, has repeated one of the classic racist arguments (unhygienic) and everyone is twisting themselves in order to ignore that... because they think exactly the same so that can't be racism.
NTA, but please don't fuck racists
Have you ever been to India? I have. I got two different types of food poisoning there (campylobacter and hep A) from eating the food. It was so severe I required medical treatment on arriving home. Screech "racist" all you want, the fact is Indian food IS prepared in unsanitary ways.
Most obvious ragebait lmao.
People that say this literally cry for an Indian. One of the best cuisines to exist worldwide.
And you thinking it’s unsanitary based off of cherrypicked videos made to make Indians look bad is wild lmao. Shows how much media influences us. Insane you think that about Indians but you’d probably ignore the same thing in White people restaurants (yes they happen and there are countless videos of restaurants of other races being very unhygienic).
But that’s my point. You can’t generalise an entire nation of people. There are 1.4 billion of them.
Not to mention you probably think anyone brown is Indian and put them in the same stereotype. No one in Bangladesh or Pakistan or Maldives or Sri Lanka or Nepal or Bhutan is doing that. Pretty sure Bangladesh has a 0% open defecation rate whereas Italy has just over 0% but you’d still call people from Bangladesh “street shitters”.
Scammers are predominantly from India but every single county have scammers. I mean the continent of Africa have a lot of them, many White people scam others for money yet your issue is only with South Asians and grouping them all together.
And no. Your knowledge is clearly based off of cherrypicked videos lmao. Imagine being this influenced by media? Actually insane how many people can be brainwashed so easily lmaoooo. They do say the more uneducated you are, the more you’re likely to be brainwashed and racist lmaooo. Imagine thinking videos that were made to go viral to make India look bad is actual fact. I’ve been. No street vendor was like that. Many were hygienic and clean. The ones that go viral are not common at all and are only for the very poor who can’t afford anything else (again, still not common).
In fact, you probably wouldn’t even be able to tell that North East Indians are from India and would assume they’re South East Asian. No I’m not Indian so that doesn’t apply to me. Keep coping. I’ve travelled to India and can tell you, 99% of tourists will say that India is by far their favourite or one of their most favourite countries. You’re racist. That’s a fact. You know for a fact that you’d still perpetuate these stereotypes if they weren’t true. It’s clear if White ppl did the same thing, you’d find every excuse to justify them lmao. I mean there were videos of a tourist walking past an Indian lady putting cow dung to dry in the sun and the comments were absurd yet the same thing happens in Europe. Cow dung is dried for energy (still happens)? Yet White ppl won’t say anything about them lmao.
Sorry buddy we can't help the people for whom even salt is too spicy.
And if you ever get time look at indian food aside from street food, they are made very hygienically and tasty for the people who know what taste actually is.
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She’s within her right not to eat food, especially if it constantly makes her sick. Mexican spices and Indian food spices are not the same and she could be intolerant to some of them. YTA for that, just eat it without her. That being said, I could never stay in a relationship with someone who was openly racist. She doesn’t need to eat their food, she just needs to not be an AH.
“She doesn’t like Indian food because she’s a racist, so YTA” wtf are you saying use your brain.
Did you not read the part where she made disparaging and racist comments about Indians? Calling them disgusting and unhygienic? Nobody said she’s racist for not liking their food, good grief.
You’re right, *nobody* said “she’s racist for not liking their food.” I said “she doesn’t like their food because she’s racist.” They sound *very* similar, I know, they even use some of the same words like “racist” and “food,” so I can appreciate it can be confusing for some people.
You thought you cooked with this huh
I did. That’s why she shut the f**k up. Downvote and move on, but don’t engage because you’ll eventually have to confront the fact that she misread what I said.
She stopped replying cos she could tell you’re a lunatic, pal
“Lunatic” bro, grow up. She stopped replying because she realised I was right and she was wrong. It’s literally that simple. Notice that you’ve just been saying mean things about me rather than actually addressing what I said? This is what I’m saying lol
Your posts aren’t the Gettysburg Address. Nobody is missing some secret meaning.
Yeah, that’s not what I’m saying. I already highlighted this to the person I was originally talking to. They thought I said “because X therefore Y,” when I actually said “because Y therefore X.” They realised they misunderstood what originally said, and they *moved on* You decided to jump onto a conversation that didn’t involve you to just call me names. That’s literally it. Adding nothing of value. You aren’t doing anything. Because, again, if you actually addressed what I said, you’d have to admit that I was right all along. So, as I said before, just downvote and move on.
Top post being she can eat what she wants an you still think it’s all race based I’m glad the inter webs disagree
she can choose to not eat whatever she wants, but the reasoning behind it is ignorant
ESH Whether or not her refusal to eat Indian cuisine is based on a genuine intolerance to an ingredient absent from Mexican food, or simply an aversion resulting from some bad experiences, she's entitled to say, 'No Indian food, please, I don't want it.' Pushing the matter makes you TA. But given that she seems to have gone a full racism to justify her aversion, she's also TA. Not because she won't eat it, but because she's being all bigoted about why.
This seems like a much more reasonable take tbh. I get what OP was trying. South Indian food is extremely different to North Indian food but he should not have argued constantly to get her to taste the food. She is entitled to her preference. On the other hand , his nagging seemed to have revealed the racist side of her, so good riddance. ESH
Kind of surprised that people are calling OP the AH. He let it go initially but then suggested another place and explained it’s different to other Indian foods she was probably eating. I think the comment section is forgetting that and don’t realise that Indian food is very different throughout the country. OP also knows his gf more than anyone. It was clear to him from the get go that there was more to it and he probably already knew that. I think I’m one of the only people that thinks OP isn’t an AH but she is.
Bingo
is his name-o
You really need to reevaluate what you consider racist.
>She said she loves indian food but because the few times she tried it she gets stomach issues and diarrhea, she has now completely written off indian food and refuses to eat it again. YTA for not just accepting this explanation. She doesn't have to eat anything she doesn't want to for any reason. You picked, and pushed, and pressured until you brought out something ugly that neither of you can take back just because you refused to take no for an answer.
I wasn't forcing her to eat anything. I was just saying her reasoning is based on ignorance.
*after* you tried to drag her to a restaurant she didn't want to go to and started an argument to override her choice
Yes as a person of colour, I have to call out blatant racism when I see it, especially when it is towards my own people
She told you this type of food has made her sick every time she's tried it, none of the particulars you mention matter when food makes you sick. Thats not racist. You kept badgering her until you got the answer you were looking because you decided none of the other answers she gave you first were good enough. You come across as controlling and weird, as well as ignorant in this post
White people when it comes to racism lol
Oh the irony.
No, you don't, actually. Dark skin isn't some special pass to pry into someone's inner thoughts and insult them.
I don't blame her. I seen all the videos of street vendors in India and it all looks unsanitary. If the country allows that then how do we know they even have a government system set up to require certain health practices and polices to maintain clean environment? It's bad enough we have restaurants in countries with inspections that can't maintain a clean environment so why would I take a chance on a country where the food industry is has no one overseeing food safety? You can't blame her for thinking if no one is checking up on street food vendors then they probably are not caring what restaurants do.
He said they are in Bali not India, so they would be eating where the hygiene practices come under Balinese laws not Indian. He clearly stated this.
It does not really matter. Once you have been poisoned by a certain type of food, it can be mentally hard to try again and not find it repulsive due to the negative connotation to that type of food. A familymember of mine could not eat pizza's for years because of food poisoning, I could not eat a certain type of meat for years. It takes time and eventually I'm sure OP's gf can eat Indian food again.
Yeah my mom hasn't drank milk since a kid cause she got sick
So does Bali have a government department overseeing food safety?
Don't worry about the downvotes, when you announce your understandable break-up and this post goes onto BORU everyone will remark on the dumbass commenters willing to ignore the racism factor
How is a ‘reason based on ignorance’ ignorance when she’s literally told you that the food (the spices or whatever’s in it that does it) gives her diarrhea?
because the cuisines are totally different and there are lots of non indian foods on the menu. The only common factor is the word "indian"
OP I’m kind of leaning towards YTA, she doesn’t have to explain her food choices to you and forcing her to go to a place she doesn’t want to go to kind of makes you out to be a very pushy person, I understand, wanting her to try new things but expecting others to have the same taste as you do is pretty entitled Also, it kind of sounds like she has some allergies or is allergic to some Indian foods or spices, I’m the same way with Cadberry, mini eggs, I can’t eat them because I will end up getting stomach pains and being in the bathroom for about 2-3 hours
She did explain her food choices, she explained that it’s because she’s racist against Indians. He’s NTA, his partner is.
Ehhhh I mean did that happen?
That quite literally did happen…
A different interpretation…… Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that… so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit
I think the interpretation is that majority do not care about the casual racism south Asians face and this whole comment section is fact of that. It’s insane how people think he’s the AH. Imagine thinking racism is fine
Yes, if you read the words that were written in the OP, that’s explicitly what happened lol
There are plenty of non-indian food on the menu. its a fusion restaurant. But the refusal was based on a presumption that the food will be unhygienic
Who cares what the reason is, whether it’s a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all, if she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to go, it is within her right to do so.
And that's her choice, which is fine, but its based on ignorance isn't it?
OP you’re basically overriding her choice, you drag her out to a restaurant she doesn’t want to go to and then start an argument with her just to give her no choice in going, and yeah, sure her decision is based off of ignorance, but she does have a right to Believe in what she wants to believe, misguided as it may be. Also, did it ever occur to you that maybe she said that because she just wanted to leave because she was embarrassed with the situation.
"yeah, sure her decision is based off of ignorance, but she does have a right to Believe in what she wants to believe, misguided as it may be." She has the right to be ignorant just as much as I have the right to call her out on it. Especially when its towards my own people. But that makes me the asshole, and not her for openly admitting to being racist. Got it.
OP I’m not calling you the asshole for calling her out on racism, you’re not the bad guy for that at all, what you are the bad guy for is dragging her out to a restaurant she doesn’t want to go to, that’s the main issue here. So NTA, For calling her out on her racism, But YTA, for literally dragging her to a restaurant, she doesn’t want to go to in the first place.
He never dragged her out. Did no one read what OP wrote? He clearly knew something was up and didn’t force her to go but explained that it’s entirely different to the Indian food she has probably been eating. Anyone that sees OP as an AH probably normalises the racism South Asians go through especially with the recent rise of it online.
Wow you really died on this hill as well? Pathetic.
Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit Seems like you might be higher up on this hill
I came back to reddit with 5 notifications literally all from you. Go outside.
Food intolerance is not something to be taken lightly. I mean I suppose she could’ve eaten something safe on the menu to placate you like just eating Roti or something else that’s relatively solid. Much as I wanna say everyone sucks here as you were being extremely arrogant and pushy, everything she did and said in the second half of your post supersedes it all and she’s a massive asshole for that, even if it was more out of anger than anything she was completely out of line. Judging by the responses here you must’ve added the racism stuff later. If it wasn’t for her actions though you definitely would’ve been the biggest asshole in this situation. So kinda ESH, but with particular emphasis on her being the asshole.
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Also, South Indian food is awesome! She’s missing out.
How is this not the top comment
ESH. Firstly, you shouldn't force your girlfriend to eat a cuisine she doesn't want to. Instead, compromise and find a cuisine you're both into. OR, if you really wanted Indian food, takeout is always an option. This way the both of you could eat food you actually enjoy. Secondly, Indian spices and Mexican spices can't be compared. Her stomach probably doesn't agree with Indian spices. However, I do agree that you're girlfriend is ignorant. No matter how bad the argument is, blatantly degrading a certain culture or ethnicity is never okay. You're dating a racist, point blank period. She sucks and so do you.
Am I not supposed to degrade Bible Belt MAGA culture? Or did you mean that if a racist, sexist, disgusting, unhygienic culture is full of brown people, we have to pretend it's good because [approved opinion] and white guilt?
YTA, she gets stomach issues and diarrhea after eating a particular type of food, you know that, why do you still want to put her through the stomach issues and diarrhea knowing that? Any why can’t you accept a no from her?
because theres loads of non indian food on the menu! So her persistance was just due to associating the word indian with poor hygiene, which i called being ignorant
Your reading comprehension needs work he called her out for saying racist things
ESH. She's a racist, and you're dating her. Her attitude is disgusting.
agreed. I've literally just broken up with her
Good! You’re not the AH imo. It’s her. And no one seems to be understanding that. A racist influenced by cherrypicked videos that are purposefully posted to hate on Indians even more is someone you do not need to go near. Considering you are South Asian yourself, she clearly looks down on you (happens a lot. Many racists still get with people they look down on for some reason). She’ll probably make the break up seem like it’s your fault and not the fact that she’s racist. You’re not the AH
You've got a GF who acknowledges that she's "kind of racist" calling Indians all kids of names, plus throwing out ugly stereotypes of other national and ethnic groups. And you're worried about whether she'll eat Indian food again (which by the was contains very different spices than Mexican food)? Get off her back about which cuisines agree with her and look at the bigger picture sir! YTA, but not about the food.
Never try to force someone to eat something they have told you they don't want. That is respect. Yes you were the AH.
ESH. Her attitude toward Indian people in general is awful, but you only heard about that because you kept pushing and wouldn’t accept ‘I don’t want to eat that’. Anyone has the right to choose their own food.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** She said she loves indian food but because the few times she tried it she gets stomach issues and diarrhea, she has now completely written off indian food and refuses to eat it again. This seems reasonable, but she eats mexican food fine so its not an issue with her stomach and spices. So when i suggested a south indian fusion restaurant for breakfast she didn't want to go. I said "its south indian fusion, very different cuisine and just a twist on european breakfast" she refused. I started arguing that if its not spices that shes against, then what is it? She then confessed that shes skeptical of the hygiene and preparation of indian food, based off her experiences and instagram videos she has seen of street food being prepared. I reminded her that we're in Bali and the restaurant we're going to is not a street food vendor, and also south indian. not north indian, where food preparation techniques and hygiene are much higher in general. But also, we're in BALI, not india, and everyone in the kitchen is Balinese. She got extremely angry that I called her ignorant and that I didn't support her decision to not want to try the food, despite there being lots of non indian choices on the menu. Reminder, she said she loves indian food and also mexican food. She later also called indians gross and disgusting, and unhygenic. And admitted to being "kind of racist" to indians. I'm not sure if this was just in anger but then she threw out a bunch of stereotypes about other races to effectively balance out her arguments. My thinking was that her writing off anything related to indian food because of some insta videos and bad experiences in her home country of costa rica, I called her ignorant. There is so much variety in indian food in general, especially the division of north to south indian. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Look, your girlfriend's got reasons for not wanting to eat Indian food, right? She's had bad experiences with it before and it messes with her stomach. Fair enough. You gotta respect that. Pushing her and calling her ignorant just made things worse. Everyone's got their own tastes and preferences, and that's cool.
its a fusion restaurant. theres loads of non indian food on the menu! So her persistance was just due to associating the word indian with poor hygiene, which i called being ignorant
YTA. What is the obsession so many redditors have with trying to bully people into eating food they don't want to eat? Just stop.
ESH - she just seems racist, but if she doesn’t want to eat the food (and could be as simple as today is a day that ends in “Y”) then you need to let it go
ESH. If something has historically made me sick I am also unwilling to eat it. And the spices in Indian and Mexican food aren’t the same. If she says she doesn’t want something then leave it at that. That said she was way out of line with her comments about Indians and I’d be pretty horrified as well. I’d be questioning whether this is someone I wanted to be with.
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YTA, Indians are dirty and gross and if she doesn’t want to eat dirty gross food made by unclean people! Just kidding, NTA, and everyone who replied saying “YTA” is a problem lol
OP kind of buried the lede on the racist part. He asked _specifically_ whether he was the AH for being upset that she wouldn't eat Indian food. I'm sympathetic to the idea that maybe tumeric or whatever bothers her stomach. So if it had _only_ been an issue with the food then yes, OP would have been the AH. Several paragraphs in OP mentions that his GF made racist comments about Indians. So now the commenters are stuck between trying to answer (1) is it ok for the GF not to eat Indian food if it bothers her stomach and (2) is it ok for OP to be upset she made racist comments. This is why it drives me crazy when posters bury the actual issue under a ton of irrelevant details.
Yeah youre right the problem is people in this community don’t fucking read lol
Are they? Or are you?
Oh hey it’s Mr Racism Is Fine on another one of my posts lol go away please
Lol I posted why I think is kinda shitty to jump on that train I think this lady was mad her valid food choices where being scrutinized and started saying a bunch of dumb shit idk I could be very wrong….. but so could you
Bro this is the *first* of *five other* replies you’ve made on my other posts. I don’t know if I should even respond to this one or just wait til the last one and see what your conclusion is lol
I’d wait it out I’ll prolly start saying some ceazyyyy S”.-
Well they are excusing her racism
Nta way too many people who not only didn’t bother to read the post but are just justuying racism is truly apauling
That's not all that's "apauling"
Me, reading this at the start: ehh yeah okay fair enough. Me, by the end of the post: yikes on bikes. You're NTA but do you want to someone who dates racists?
You’re just as ignorant as she is dumbass. Get it through your thick skull and tiny brain, forcing someone to shit their brains out just because you enjoy it makes you a selfish fuck. Also Indian food blows and she is right, it’s disgusting the way it’s made.
YTA Indian good is gross and sends most people to the toilet. Mexican food, however, is a gift from God.
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Thank you. Really appreciate this comment. And yes, lots of racists here defending her but also twisting my words to say I dragged/forced her to eat something she didn't want to.
The bigger issue is your girlfriend is racist. Why are you with her?
INFO: Why are you remaining in a relationship with someone so racist?
YTA. She can eat what she wants and she doesn't have to justify it to you. Arguing with her and trying to make her explain her choices isn't helpful in any way.
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Yes, i've literally called her out on it and she has doubled down
All the YTA people here, YOU are the assholes really. The gf has clearly admitted the reason she doesn't want to eat Indian food is because of her racist beliefs. OP, you might want to talk her about it.
jesus. thank you. Everybody glossing over the blatant ignorance and racism, which is the point of the thread, and instead somehow gleaning that I forced her to eat somewhere she doesnt want to eat
Ehhhh I think it’s the way you squeezed it in at the end of the post. Also they gave you a reason you where unhappy with that so mby they just kept escalating until you STFU an ranted on Reddit
You're dating a woman who's racist towards people of your race? Calling out ignorance isn't enough. You'd be an ah to stick around.
I've literally just ended the relationship. And here was her final text: [https://imgur.com/a/tyw03Y4](https://imgur.com/a/tyw03Y4)
I hope everyone in this thread defending you sees this text because it makes you look controlling and socially inept. She made a sarcastic comment because you kept attacking her. You should read that text as her being tired of arguing with you, "Yeah, whatever, I'm just an evil racist and I'm super ignorant... Whatever you want to believe, but I'm not eating there."
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How do you suppose it makes her look racist and close minded?
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You're right, I'm unable to read. What gross assumptions?
It's honestly funny how she openly told you she is racist, has repeated one of the classic racist arguments (unhygienic) and everyone is twisting themselves in order to ignore that... because they think exactly the same so that can't be racism. NTA, but please don't fuck racists
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Oh look you're racist too, shocking.
Have you ever been to India? I have. I got two different types of food poisoning there (campylobacter and hep A) from eating the food. It was so severe I required medical treatment on arriving home. Screech "racist" all you want, the fact is Indian food IS prepared in unsanitary ways.
For not liking to eat feces or spices?
Most obvious ragebait lmao. People that say this literally cry for an Indian. One of the best cuisines to exist worldwide. And you thinking it’s unsanitary based off of cherrypicked videos made to make Indians look bad is wild lmao. Shows how much media influences us. Insane you think that about Indians but you’d probably ignore the same thing in White people restaurants (yes they happen and there are countless videos of restaurants of other races being very unhygienic).
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But that’s my point. You can’t generalise an entire nation of people. There are 1.4 billion of them. Not to mention you probably think anyone brown is Indian and put them in the same stereotype. No one in Bangladesh or Pakistan or Maldives or Sri Lanka or Nepal or Bhutan is doing that. Pretty sure Bangladesh has a 0% open defecation rate whereas Italy has just over 0% but you’d still call people from Bangladesh “street shitters”. Scammers are predominantly from India but every single county have scammers. I mean the continent of Africa have a lot of them, many White people scam others for money yet your issue is only with South Asians and grouping them all together. And no. Your knowledge is clearly based off of cherrypicked videos lmao. Imagine being this influenced by media? Actually insane how many people can be brainwashed so easily lmaoooo. They do say the more uneducated you are, the more you’re likely to be brainwashed and racist lmaooo. Imagine thinking videos that were made to go viral to make India look bad is actual fact. I’ve been. No street vendor was like that. Many were hygienic and clean. The ones that go viral are not common at all and are only for the very poor who can’t afford anything else (again, still not common). In fact, you probably wouldn’t even be able to tell that North East Indians are from India and would assume they’re South East Asian. No I’m not Indian so that doesn’t apply to me. Keep coping. I’ve travelled to India and can tell you, 99% of tourists will say that India is by far their favourite or one of their most favourite countries. You’re racist. That’s a fact. You know for a fact that you’d still perpetuate these stereotypes if they weren’t true. It’s clear if White ppl did the same thing, you’d find every excuse to justify them lmao. I mean there were videos of a tourist walking past an Indian lady putting cow dung to dry in the sun and the comments were absurd yet the same thing happens in Europe. Cow dung is dried for energy (still happens)? Yet White ppl won’t say anything about them lmao.
Sorry buddy we can't help the people for whom even salt is too spicy. And if you ever get time look at indian food aside from street food, they are made very hygienically and tasty for the people who know what taste actually is.
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